Hanging By a Thread

Conclusions of Following My Bliss: One Last Post Regarding Blissdom

Friday Fiasco

On the last night of Blissdom, I had to vacate my beautifully appointed, fabulously comfortable room, equipped with its own tiny private balcony at the Opryland Hotel and go a short distance to the Radisson due to the Opryland overbooking for that night. I was repeatedly told that this was no problem because there was a free shuttle that ran back and forth between these two hotels. In fact, I was told this upon making my reservations at the Opryland; when making reservations at the Radisson; upon checking in at the Opryland; when checking out of the Opryland; when dropping off my bags at the bell hop station; and when picking up my bags just prior to trying to make my way over to the Radisson.

It turns out that there is no longer a shuttle that runs between the two hotels. No one could quite tell me when this service ceased to exist though. There is a sedan service that makes that run, but apparently there is only one. And apparently the one sedan driver takes his dinner break around 6 pm {which is the time I was ready to make the switch}.

Thankfully, there was a kind bell hop who told me he would get it all worked out. And he did, after 45 minutes of scurrying between the valet office and the concierge and back and forth to me to give me a report. And each time I told him "No, that won't do," he would tell me, "OK, I'll be back," and scurry off again. He finally worked out a very simple solution of calling a cab and giving me a voucher for paying for the service considering I had repeatedly been given incorrect information from the Opryland.

About that time my new friend, Kristina L., showed up and rode with me. And it's a good thing too. Once I got to the Radisson, where there was a "Woodturners Association Convention" being held and half of the rooms under construction, it was clear I had dropped many levels in the hotel ratings chart. As Kristina and I followed the instructions for locating my room we ended up outside. Yes, outside. It turns out there were rooms with exterior doors and windows. I took one look at this situation and my paranoid mind went to work. I didn't even bother going inside the room. We went right back to Rod at the front desk and said, "No thanks." Of course, with the Woodturners staying there and the Opryland being overbooked, they were "quite full," but Rod was able to get another exterior room, but this one was on the 3^rd floor with access from the inside of the hotel only; acceptable, but just barely.

Then, I found out that there was actually a shuttle that would pick us up at the Radisson and take us back to the Opryland for the evening festivities. To clarify, this shuttle would not be making a return trip from the Opryland to the Radisson though. In fact, this shuttle was the airport shuttle, but at night it turned into the "Wild Horse Saloon" shuttle. Not to worry at daybreak "Poof" it was the airport shuttle again.

The lively old driver was made of stuff found only in the South. He was a mixture of both of my grandfathers. His southern accent was thick, and he was full of sass. He was concerned about me getting back later since we weren't actually going to the "Wild Horse Saloon." When I asked him if he would be driving the airport shuttle in the morning, he told me, "Nah, I'll be sobered up by then." He said I should've kept the 1^st floor, exterior room so that I could sneak in my boyfriend later. I told him, "Sir, I'm a married woman." His reply: "That why I said 'sneak in your BOYFRIEND.'" He had us laughing and forgetting the past hour of complications.

Despite the lacking accommodations, loud traffic and trains all night and an over-active imagination conjuring up visions of a serial hotel killer laying in wait for me, I made it through the night, to the airport and home. I did leave my coat and gloves in the overhead compartment on the flight from Nashville to Chicago and as of last night, now have two sick boys. Even still, it's good to be home.

Win or Lose?

I have been thinking about what I gained from going to Blissdom: Was it worth it? Do I want to go again? What did learn? What information do I have to pass along to others thinking of going to a social media conference? Here's what I have come up with so far:

1. Bring a Buddy! After two big conferences, I now know this is the most important part to a successful conference.
2. Don't expect to get much from the sessions. You might luck out and gain some new knowledge or at the very least get some affirmation that you are going about things the right way.
3. Talk to the people around you in each session, at each meal and in line even if they don't speak to you first. You WILL make friends. You WILL find Your People! Don't worry about the ones who blow you off, ignore you or quickly put away their business cards when you try to speak to them or give them a card. Clearly, they are not Your People.
4. Don't worry about meeting the bloggers that "are kind of a big deal on twitter" and elsewhere. Most don't care about meeting you or hearing about your "little" blog, but they do like to hear how much you LOVE their blogs and what a big deal you think they are to the world.
5. Do bring chocolate or other desired snack to substitute for a {sponsored} meal or keep you going for the next 12 hours. {And if going to Blissdom, bring water. It's hard to find, unless you want to pay $3 per bottle}
6. Great keynote speakers can make up for the disappointing sessions. Great keynote speakers can make the whole trip worth it. {Thumbs up to Brene' Brown and Scott Stratten}
7. Make hotel reservations as soon as you possibly can. You do not want to have to change hotels or stay in a location other than where the conference is being held.
8. Not every blog has a niche {as in specialized market} that includes other blogs. Some, like Motherly Law, are in a niche by themselves.
9. Not every blogger cares about forming relationships with brands. {I'm talking about me here.}
10. Lounging alone in a quiet, clean, toy-free and comfortable hotel room, reading Us Weekly and eating chocolate is heaven for this tired, busy, loud-mouth mom.

The Scoop

So, yes, the trip was worth it. And maybe I'll go back next year or maybe I'll try another conference and become an "expert" at being a 1^st time attendee at social media conferences. And now I'm finished talking about Blissdom. Over and out..

Anna

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 I Am an Onion....

#BlissdomDay 1: What I Learned Today ...

TheTop 13 Things I Learned in NY While Attending the BlogHerConference

I Am an Onion....

I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister and a friend.

I am a lawyer, a writer and a thinker.

I am silly, friendly, inquisitive and talkative.

I am judging, irritable and sensitive.

I am a Texan, Oklahoman, Iowan and Minnesotan.

I am open-minded, controlling and determined.

I am shy. I am worried no one will talk to me. I am uncertain. I am sometimes lonely. I am tired. I am ignored. I am vulnerable.

I am loved. I am noticed. I am important {to my kids and husband}. I am complex. I am accepted. I am imperfect, which I'm told is the new perfect. I am me.

I am all of these things every day. There are many layers to my being. Some layers are thin; some layers are thick; and sometimes it's painful to start slicing through the layers. I was all of these things and more this past week at Blissdom Conference in Nashville. I have found that a gathering like this brings out the best and worst of me.

Blissdom unlike BlogHer, did provide more opportunities for networking and conversation. I was pleasantly surprised by the number of business cards I exchanged with other attendees. I was also delighted to meet and connect with a number of really lovely people. There were some who intentionally struck up a conversation with me because I was alone {and perhaps looking tired and dejected}; who shared a smile, a kind word, a tweet and a hug with me. I am forever grateful to those ladies who at various times plucked me up and made me feel included and loved.

I was in awe of the amazing keynote speaker, Brene’ Brown, author of The Gifts of Imperfection. Let Go of Who You Think You Are Supposed to Be & Embrace Who You Are. I know that I am a better person for having heard her words of wisdom. I am certain that if I gained nothing else from this trip, Brene' Brown's speech was more than worth it. She's a lovely fellow Texan with a penchant for relating stories and research in a heartfelt, meaningful manner.

Was Blissdom worth the money, the time, the expense? I'm still processing the entire experience to decide this. I'm still deciding whether I will plan to go to Blissdom in 2012. If I do go next year, I know I now have #Blissdom friends. Thank you Shan {sorority sister from my chapter}, Alycia, Kristina, Alethea, Kristina L. {in photo above}, Joanna, Abby, Heather and Sarah. I would not have laughed or cried {in a good way} nearly so often without these girls!

The last night was a bit of a fiasco and a whole post unto itself. Thankfully, Kristina L. was there along for the ride and helped provide some comic relief to the situation. I'll tell you that story another time. Over and out...

Anna

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#Blissdom Day 1: What I Learned Today ...

Motherly Advice {Reflections of Motherhood ~ www.nummies.com}

Mixed Feelings: Next Week

Motherly Advice {Reflections of Motherhood ~ www.nummies.com}

As many of you know, I'm in Nashville at Blissdom Conference. Today in a session on Viral Word of Mouth Marketing {which is not a horrible disease even though that's what it sounds like} I saw this video. What you don't realize at first and what seems totally irrelevant because it tugs at the core of the mommy fibers that run deep inside, it's an advertisement. In fact, it's an ad for attractive nursing bras {www.nummies.com}.

When this video was released online it went viral, which means it quickly spread through the Internet and was viewed hundreds of thousands of times. The video was made by Scott Stratten from www.un-marketing.com, who spoke today and is amazingly funny and brilliant.

Get your Kleenex ready. Go ahead, I'll wait for you.

 

    

 

 Uh, huh. Don't try to hide it. I know you have a tear in your eye. I warned you. The one that got me... "He's going to get sick...and you will sit up all night just watching him breathe." I've done it, and felt so helpless.

It's Friday…. Go eat some chocolate. It's good for you, and you deserve it!

Anna

Nota Bene:I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all parents and kids are not created equally, but are wholly individual in personality and style. Regardless of these differences, the basic needs of love, patience and support remain constant. Here are the weekly affirmations, tips and reminders. Unless otherwise noted, these are entirely my opinion. Take them with a grain of salt, or not!

Cyberstalking: Stalking Awareness Month Part IV

They Say Change is Inevitable

Fifty percent of our four-member household is pretty much anti-change. Care to guess which 2 family members I'm referring to? I speak of myself and Darling 1. Darling 2 and DH are generally more go with the flow kind of guys. I wish I could say the same about the whole family.

When faced with change we, the anti-change advocates, first think about the proposed change for a week or two; just mull it over in our heads. Next, we question the reasoning behind the change and necessity of it for the next several weeks. Then, we promptly reject the change. When told the change is not an option, but a reality, we dig our heels in and prepare for all out war. Being forced to accept the change only strengthens our resolve to maintain our position. Life goes on. We might begin to realize the change is not so bad, maybe even a good thing after 6 months to a year. I wish I could say I'm exaggerating about this.

The Dawning of a New Age

Well, this is how I felt about the Internet and email back in the day. I did not grasp the whole concept. Very few people had email. Even fewer businesses had websites. I had just gotten used to a cell phone for Pete's sake. When I graduated from college I had never even used the Internet. When I entered law school West Publishing (still just West then, not Thomson West, and certainly not Thomson Reuters West) still sent the law students CDs to download the new caselaw, statutes, regulations, etc. rather than going online to their database. It all seems so absurd now, but then it's what I was familiar with and it was comfortable; why change?

Fast forward 10 or 15 years, I have now totally accepted the Internet and all the information it has to offer; Facebook was taking off, but I was not on board. I was being bombarded by friends requesting me to join, repeatedly asking why I was not on Facebook. I resisted wholeheartedly. I did not need to be putting that kind of personal, mundane or silly information out for the world, or the world as I chose it to be, for viewing and commenting. I finally gave up the good fight and relented, joining Facebook in December 2009. I was never an overzealous member, but I did connect with a few old friends from high school and college.

How Did I Get Here?

Then, in March of 2010, I launched a blog? What was I thinking? Didn't I know that I was going to have to share all kinds of personal information with not only family and friends, but also total strangers (if I was a success)? {Gasp} Didn't I know I was going to have to create not only a Facebook fan page, but also join Twitter? {Double Gasp} Well, I have done it, and I have enjoyed it too. Who knew?

What I have noticed is that the longer I am at this social media thing, the more relaxed I am about divulging personal thoughts, feelings and facts. Which brings me to my point...This might come as a shock to some of you who feel as comfortable as I do surfing the World Wide Web, but there are some who do harm through these portals. I'm talking about cyberstalking.

Cyberstalking

If you read last week's posts, you know that January is Stalking Awareness Month. Last week I discussed stalking laws, resources for dealing with stalkers, and a stalking awareness television program onInvestigation Discovery Channel this week. This post is about cyberstalking laws and resources.

Cyberstalking is a relatively new crime, developing right along with the information super highway. The National Center for Victims of Crime (NCVC) defines cyberstalking as threatening behavior or unwanted advances directed at another using the Internet and other forms of online and computer communications. Just about everyone has access to a computer, which provides a stalker with access to victims without ever having to leave home or make physical contact with a victim.

Cyberstalking Statistics

WHOA (Working to Halt Online Abuse) has been keeping Cyberstalking statistics since 2000 and the numbers tell a somewhat different story from that of the traditional stalking crimes:

• 72.5% of cyberstalking victims are female (similar to traditional stalking stats);
• 70% of cyberstalking victims are Caucasian (again similar to traditional stalking stats);
• 40.5% of cyberstalking victims are 18-30 years old (still similar)
• Here's where the story changes, only 50.5% of the cyberstalking victims had a relationship of any kind with the stalker;
• 49% of the stalkers were male; 29% were female; 1.5% multiple people/gangs; and 21.5% unknown;
• Email was the most common form of stalking, but these statistics were based on the years 2o00-2009. Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other applications were just beginning to take root and grow and don't even show up in the list until 2008 (My Space) and 2009 (Facebook). Twitter isn't even in the list. I expect these numbers to change in the next few years;
• 68% of the cyberstalking victims reported the crime (in general, traditional stalking crimes don't get reported until the contacts have escalated quite a bit); and
• Only 27.5% of the cyberstalking victims report the stalking to have escalated offline, but 63.75 % of the victims say that the stalking activity did escalate online.

Source: www.haltabuse.org

Cyberstalking Laws

According to the National Conference on StateLegislatures (NCSL), 16 states don't have cyberstalking laws, including TX and MD. However, these states do have cyberharassment and/or cyberbullying statutes. All states have at least one of the cyber crime laws on the books. You can access your specific state's law(s) by clicking NCSL above. Cyberstalking crimes are included in the general stalking statute(s) of most states, although some states, like WA State, have separate cyberstalking statutes.

Tips and Resources

The NCVC provides a list of tips and resourcesfor victims of cyberstalking. Another site with good resource information is CyberGuards.com. Some of the information is basic common sense: Don’t post personal, confidential information online; Don’t share your address, birthdate, and in many cases, real name; Do pick strong passwords with letter, numbers and special characters; Do use good judgment before agreeing to meet a person in real life that you have corresponded with online; Do notify law enforcement agencies if you are fearful for your safety. Both sites have additional detailed information about what to do if you are a victim of cyberstalking.

The Scoop

Technology has grown and changed by leaps and bounds over the last 20 plus years. My Darling Boys don't know a world without the Internet or Smart phones. I can only imagine what the world will look like by the time they are adults. The Internet has brought the world into our homes. We can experience culture, war, music, TV, movies, sports, minute-by-minute coverage of ground-breaking news; we can play games; we can communicate with family, friends or strangers without ever leaving the comfort of our home. It's an amazing world we live in, but sometimes these conveniences are used in a way that causes harm to another, and this is a crime. So, be aware as you cruise along the information super highway. Over and out…

Anna

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Our Comfortable Connection: The Information You Post Online Could Be Used Against You

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Motherly Advice: 15 Books in 15 Minutes Link Up

Life and Books

 As I have mentioned, I love books. There are a few that I have read several times; each time I have taken away something new from the book depending on the season of life I have been in while reading it. Others I have read only once, but recall specific passages or characters often. A few of my favorites I read in junior high or high school and honestly gained very little from them then, but when I read them again in college and even after college, having lived longer and experienced more, I could see the characters more clearly; I could feel the depth of the emotions; and I could grasp the situations more distinctly.

 

15 Books in 15 Minutes

Recently a friend on Facebook sent me an invitation to contribute my 15 Books in 15 Minutes. Although I never actually got around to putting it on Facebook, I did make my list.

What is 15 Books in 15 Minutes, you ask? It's a list of 15 of your favorite books; books that mean something to you; books that have touched your life in some way. The point is to spend no more than 15 minutes coming up with your list of 15 books.

Below is my list of 15 Books in 15 Minutes, in no particular order. Please make your list and follow the instructions below to link-up your list here.

My 15 Books in 15 Minutes

1. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

2. Ben Hur by Lew Wallace

3. The Bible

4. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

5. Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

6. Woman in White by Wilkie Collins

7. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

8. Angry Housewives Eating Bonbons by Lorna Landvik

9. The Chronicles of Narnia Series by C.S. Lewis

10. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

11. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

12 My Life in France by Julia Child with Alex Prud'homme

13. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

14. Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

15. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame

 

Darling Boys' 15 Books in 15 Minutes

1. Dig, Dig, Digging
2. Twas the Night Before Christmas
3. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
4. Henry & Mudge Series
5. Brown Bear, Brown Bear
6. Little Eddie Series
7. Any book about space
8. I'm Dirty
9. Oh, The Places You'll Go
10. Peek A Who
11. Fuzzy, Fuzzy, Fuzzy
12. Gorilla, Gorilla
13. Dino Soccer
14. Where the Sidewalk Ends
15. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

Over and out..

Anna

Leave a comment with your list or To Link up Your List:

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For the Love of Books: How and Why Books Get Challenged & Banned Part I

A Salve for the Soul

Books soothe my soul. And so there are books of every kind, size and thickness in every room of my home: Classic Literature; Bibles; Poetry; Children's Board Books, Picture Books & Chapter Books; Cookbooks; Coffee Table Books; Art; Reference; Biographies; Sets of Books; Out-of-Print Books;  Banned Books; Mythologies; Short Stories; Fiction; Nonfiction; Shakespeare (yes, he gets his own category in my list); Histories; Anthologies; Books of Quotations; Paperback; Leather Bound; and Mostly Jacketless.

While I love the library and being surrounded by books, I prefer to buy mine. I hate the idea of having to give up a book I particularly love and have a connection with in two or three weeks when the book is due.

There are a few that I have turned to over and over through the years. Those books…well, they're like old friends greeting me after a long absence, having waited patiently for my return. And because of the connection I feel with a book's characters or story, I simply cannot read books that I immediately dislike. There are some that I put down, never to pick up again. So, I cannot say that I love all books, but I do respect {almost} all books and know that someone somewhere might get something from a book that I didn't.

Taking the Books

The subject of banning books was recently brought to my attention by an article DH sent to me. The whole idea of taking certain books out of libraries, classrooms and/or bookstores because of particular content that puts some ill at ease seems so archaic; so far removed from modern practices. And yet, it's something that still goes on every year. For the most part, the push for book censorship comes from parents protesting certain books on class reading lists or the inclusion of certain books in school libraries, but other times its reach is further.

Over the years, many classics have been banned, depending on the mood of the country; what's going on politically, religiously and socially. Throughout the history of time, writings have been censored and often times burned. Historically, book burning has been a form of religious persecution.

Censorship

When it comes down to the bare bones of it, censorship occurs because someone feels threatened by another's point of view, religious beliefs, scientific findings, depiction of events, etc. Censorship is suppression of the freedom speech and expression. Banning or restricting access to books are the simplest forms of censoring the written word. However, the Internet makes removal or restriction of access more difficult for those who wish to do so.

According to the American Library Association (ALA), a book may be challenged or banned. "A challenge is an attempt to remove or restrict materials, based upon the objections of a person or group. A banning is the removal of those materials. Challenges do not simply involve a person expressing a point of view; rather, they are an attempt to remove material from the curriculum or library, thereby restricting the access of others. As such, they are a threat to freedom of speech and choice." Source: www.ala.org.

In general, books are sought to be removed or access restricted based on reasons relating to: religion; political views; family values; and minority rights. Often these issues are combined and often the concern is sexuality, language, ideas that are "un-Godly" "un-American" or "a deviation from the norm." Concerns are almost always couched in statements about protecting the morals of the children.

Constitutional Rights

While there may be some instances where a challenge or ban is necessary to restrict children of a young age from having access to sexually explicit images and/or language; for the most part limited or no access to certain material is restrictive of constitutional rights of all citizens.

School boards, a select group of citizens, city councils, librarians, etc. cannot simply choose to restrict access to or remove a book or set of books without violating the First Amendment of the United States. Specific review policies and procedures should be followed to ensure that citizens/students rights are not violated.

According to USA Today, many books facing the guillotine as of late have been those on advanced course lists for teens. The question is how much freedom of expression/speech should be afforded high school students. In the USA Today Article, Judith John, an English professor at Missouri State University, stated "When people are afraid, they become more conservative and reject changes." John points to the uncertain economy and rise in terrorism in recent years as the source of fear in this instance.

The Scoop

I find it interesting that parents and others are so concerned about the required reading lists in schools and/or the books available in school libraries considering most teens have multiple avenues of mostly unrestricted Internet use. If a tech savvy teen is looking for information on any subject, more than likely he or she will find it quickly. Tomorrow I will post a case analysis of a case or two regarding banned books in schools and examine the tests applied by the Court.

Lastly, here is a list of books that have been banned at some point in the U.S. Over and out…

Anna

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A New Year and A New Set of Goals; Personal and Professional

Looking Back

I am ready to leave 2010 behind and move forward. It will go down in my personal history as one with many ups and downs, full of new friends, new endeavors and opportunities and lots of learning of new technology. It was a year that we had to tighten the proverbial purse strings again, as so many have had to do. And yet, adversity has led to inspiration. Motivation to create something new is often the brainchild of desperation.

As I was sitting in the Urgent Care waiting room waiting to see a doctor on Thursday evening, I barely noticed the TV in the corner of the room and didn't even bother to look to see what program was on when I sat down. Instead, I picked up a Newsweek and began to read. Then, a familiar voice cut through my train of thought. It was Oprah Winfrey; a voice recognizable by almost everyone on this planet. I tuned her out and returned to my reading. Again, Oprah, the ever persistent person that she is, got my attention. This time I glanced up at the television. Oprah was talking with J.K. Rowling; a name recognizable by millions on this planet. This time I put my magazine down for minute to listen. They were discussing their successes in life. Their intimate, girlfriend to girlfriend conversation sucked me in, and I watched the rest of the interview.

No one can argue that these two ladies, who came from nothing and built empires, each of her own making, are not successful in every respect of the word. Surely, they had some gems of advice to offer. Indeed, they did. In fact, I had several "aha" moments in that doctors' office.

In essence, Rowling said that it's the experience of failing that propels you to move on and try again; it's the failures that make success possible. So, we should not be afraid of trying and failing, but should indeed give our ideas, plans and aspirations a shot. Even in failing, you will have learned something; gained some knowledge or insight.

And this is what I have done with Motherly Law; I'm giving my idea a go of it. Will I fail? Perhaps, but maybe I'll be a great success, by some measure. I cannot tell you the end of the story because there are far too many chapters yet to be written in this journey.

Looking Forward: Personal Goals

In so planning my next adventures, I have set goals for myself. In 2011, I seek to Be. I desire to Be more consistent and a better person than I was in 2010. In sharing my personal ambitions, I will have more cause to follow these points. Here are my seemingly simple, yet eternally difficult goals to Be…

1. Be present in all I do.
2. Be more patient with my kids and husband.
3. Be more focused and balanced in all areas of my life.
4. Be more complimentary of my husband and all he does for our family.
5. Be more thankful for all the blessings in my life.
6. Be a better listener.
7. Be 1 smaller size.
8. Be more cognizant of time and manage mine better.

There may be only 8 in the list, but these are big items and will take much tireless energy on my part to put them into action. Eight points are more than enough.

Looking Forward: Professional Goals

I have also set professional goals for the blog and other ventures for 2011. As I near the 1 year anniversary of launching Motherly Law, I am in awe of how much work, DH and I have put into this project and how far it has come. I still have miles to go before I sleep (every night), but in retrospect, we had no idea what would happen when I launched Motherly Law last March nor did we realize how much we would be using Twitter.

So far, this is what happened: I have developed a strong following of loyal readers; my search engine traffic increases weekly; I have been featured in the Minneapolis Star Tribune, Twin Cities Spark, Mann Post's Blog Cabin (twice) and Minnesota Public Radio's MN Today; there have been readers from all 50 states and the District of Columbia, as well as 57 other countries in the world; I have connected with people all across the country on Twitter and Facebook and because of those venues, I have met many fascinating and inspiring people, many whom I call friend today; and certainly not least of all, I have started writing again, A LOT.

Based on personal objectives, analytics and blog expert opinions, here are my goals for Motherly Law and other professional endeavors for 2011…

1. Maintain the continual increase in readership
2. Work on growing FB & Twitter presence
3. Include guest posts on a regular basis
4. Sell and host ads on ML
5. Persist in providing well-written, informative posts
6. Add a monthly ML email newsletter
7. Boost the number of comments per post
8. Attend Blissdom Conference 2011 in Nashville in January (Check this one off; I'm going!)
9. Work to obtain more freelance opportunities
10. Host a local Blogger event (I've got it all planned out in my head…)
11. Continue to make connections and meet fascinating people
12. Keep evolving as a writer and social media participant
13. Have a post get picked up by the New York Times (I have to have a few lofty goals, right?)
14. Launch another blog with a more professional aim (still in development stages… stay tuned)

Yes, you read that last one correctly, I am planning to launch a new blog, in addition to Motherly Law, targeted at attorneys. And yes, many of these goals, especially the last one, do add the potential of sabotaging many of my personal goals for 2011, but a girl has got to pursue her dreams.

The Scoop

I happen to believe that everything occurs for some reason; that a lesson can be learned from every experience; good or bad. We may not understand the lesson or the reason for the event at the time, but there is one there that will be revealed to us at the appropriate time and will link by link shape us into who we will ultimately Become. And so, for some reason, I needed to hear what Oprah and J.K. Rowling had to say on Thursday afternoon….

Happy New Year! Have you made your New Year's Resolutions yet? Do you usually set goals for yourself? I always do, personally, but this year we are going to try to do it as a couple and family too. Do you do this? If so, what kinds of things go into the goal setting? Over and out….

Anna

Don’t Take It Personally: Tips for Making Social Media Sites Secure Places

Bad Attitude

I've been in a snit for the last several days, which by definition is "a state of agitated irritation." I don't really have any precise reason for this agitated irritation. I just am. In fact, I'm even irritated about being irritated. This state of mind makes me a lousy parent and spouse, and causes me to want to label these last few days with #fail. For you non-Twitter tweeps, # is Twitterese for the subject of your tweet. However, while in this snit, it's best if I stay a safe distance from any social media sites. I certainly would not want to say anything that I would regret or was just plain rude just because I happen to be in this state of agitated irritation.

I try to be kind, supportive and informative in all my social media interactions (and in other circumstance too). I believe my energy is better spent being that kind of person on the social networking sites rather than being crabby, argumentative, up on a soapbox or poking fun at someone or something. So, clearly I better steer clear of social networking until I get out from under this bad attitude.

Think Before You Click: Tips

Unfortunately, there are many who don't think before they hit enter and end up saying something they didn't mean, or worse, saying something they did mean and shouldn't have posted for all to see. If you use any of the social networking sites to connect with friends, co-workers, family, friends of friends or even strangers, there are a number of considerations to review before you strike out on the wide open road of the information super highway: security settings; the nature of what you are posting; who can see what you are posting; and how it can be used.

Some of these tips probably go without saying, but are still worth a reminding:

1. Check your security settings. Make sure they are at the level you desire and you are clear on what that level means;
2. On that note, be sure you understand the social media policy of the networking site you are using, and check the frequent changes in policy;
3. Carefully consider what contact and personal information you put on your page, even if you think it's in an area that is confidential or seen only by your "friends";
4. Never put your phone number, address, Social Security number, credit card information or other sensitive information on your profile or in any post;
5. Never disparage anyone online. It's rude and it could come back to bite you;
6. Post as if someone you don't know and/or have not "friended" is lurking, watching what you are posting;
7. Never post information about being out of town or your location. This leaves you and your home vulnerable to break-ins, etc.;
8. Check your facts and news sources before posting links to information;
9. Don't trust strangers; it may sound trite to say, but it's true. You don't know who is truly behind the avatar and profile.
10. It's probably best not to tweet and drink or to tweet in the heat of the moment; even if you delete your tweet or post, others have seen it and may have shared it;
11. Be choosy about what you click; it could be spam even if it comes from a "trusted friend";
12. Create smart and tough passwords;
13. Check any apps you choose to use with your smart phone or on your computer by Googling it before downloading and providing passwords for it;
14. Use prudence when posting photos of yourself and others, especially your children;
15. Don't post information about your children that they will regret; and
16. Don't leave your kids vulnerable to identity theft by posting their full names, birthdates, birth location, etc.

 

Big Brother

As I pointed out in Monday's post, at least two courts have ruled that social networking site passwords and information found on a person's profile and page(s) are discoverable and are not confidential or private. This question will continue to come before the courts as our laws and court procedures get caught up with our technologically savvy world, and those courts will be looking at the precedent set by the New York and Pennsylvania courts, as well as others.

Other government agencies are using the social networking sites for their own purposes. According to an article by Jaikumar Vijayan on Computer World, a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) lawsuit has been filed against the IRS, Department of Justice, Department of Homeland Security, Department of Defense, CIA and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence because there's evidence that these agencies are using social networking sites for their investigations. "The goal in getting the government to disclose its policies related to such practices is to foster a dialogue on the appropriate use of social networking sites in criminal investigations," said Shane Witnov, a law student and spokesman for the lawsuit at the Samuelson Law, Technology and Public Policy Clinic.

Local law enforcement agencies also use social media to track down fugitives on the lam, sexual predators, scammers, etc. Certainly it's a good thing for persons committing crimes to be caught or those crimes thwarted by law enforcement's stealthy investigations, but it's quite another if the IRS is quietly gathering information to be used against a taxpayer even though its own policy forbids it.

Witnov went on to say, "There is a balance between privacy and protecting ourselves from crime… There are instances where the seriousness of a crime might override privacy rights. But there need to be guidelines on when and how information from social networking sites can be collected."

Of course, government agencies aren't the only ones collecting information: advertisers, third party software developers, identity thieves, and other online criminals also troll social media sites for personal information.

Websites

• This site has a wealth of tremendous information about being safe on social networking sites and keeping your information secure. If you have further questions about information on social networking sites, how to create good passwords or protecting yourself while interacting on these sites, etc., go to http://www.privacyrights.org/social-networking-privacy.
• For a few more, in depth, social networking safety tips go to http://www.networkworld.com/community/tips-for-safe-social-networking?page=0%2C0.

The Scoop

The trick is to always be conscious that it's a safe guess that you and the person you are conversing with on one of the social network sites are not the only two seeing this conversation. Be prudent and a bit paranoid about what you post, both in words and in photos. And be kind. Just because you can't see and may never actually meet the person you are talking to or about, that doesn't give you or anyone else license to bully, threaten or hurt feelings. That's not the purpose of social media. The point is to bring people together; to network; to build and/or maintain relationships; to discuss ideas and information. On Friday, I will post a bit of Motherly Advice. Over and out…

Anna

You might also like:

Death and Johnny Cash: Tips for Getting Your Estate in Order

The Fierce Advocate: Internet Safety Tips for Your Kids

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Our Comfortable Connection: The Information You Post Online Could Be Used Against You

Minnesota Snow Storm

On Saturday morning, we awoke to a snow storm; our first snow of the season. This is not an unexpected event in Minnesota. Yet this snow was thick, heavy and wet. The kind of snow we get in March. The snow was coming down hard and fast and had already blanketed everything in sight. This is the kind of snow that takes down tree limbs and power lines. We lost electricity at a little before 10:00 a.m. on Saturday and we didn't get it back until Sunday evening.

It was an overcast day and a dark night. At this time of year in Minnesota it's dark by 5:00 p.m., and soon it will be dark by 4:00 p.m. Our nightly routine came early. We ordered pizza and ate in the dark with only the light of a flashlight.

Lights Out

I always find that to be without electricity makes my brain fuzzy and groggy. It's disorienting. Once it's dark, I feel unfocused and distracted. It's unnatural for me. I still try to turn on lights or run a load of laundry or get online.

To be unable to connect to the Internet and do some work, do research for a post, check in on Facebook and Twitter or go through email is quite isolating. I fire up the 'ol laptop and do a quick check of email, blog stats, etc. almost every morning and the computer pretty much stays on, connected to the Internet the rest of the day. This weekend was different; I was disconnected from the rest of the world. While I do have a smart phone that is indeed connected to the world wide web at all times, the battery died and I couldn't charge that either.

Dependence on the Internet

We, as a society, have become dependent on the Internet. We stay connected with friends and family with email, social media sites and Skype; we pay bills; we shop; we check the weather and read the latest news; we look up information; we watch music videos and movies and stream music; and myriad other things. It's a lifeline to the isolated. It connects the world.

Our almost universal use of the Internet and the comfort level with which we have with it, can also get us into trouble. People have lost their jobs because of things they said about employers or other employees; soldiers have been disciplined and missions changed or abandoned due to information revealed; identities have been stolen; and predators have preyed upon victims.

Employee Fired for Disparaging Facebook Comments

Our use of the Internet is changing laws and how courts operate. Just last week, the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) filed a complaint against American Medical Response of Connecticut that fired an employee, who had been reprimanded for attempting to join a union, after she posted critical comments on a social networking site.

The NLRB stated that the firing violated the employee's federally protected workplace rights. American Medical Response insists the employee was let go based on "multiple, serious complaints about her behavior," and "was also held accountable for negative personal attacks against a co-worker posted publicly on Facebook."

American Medical Response reportedly has a policy forbidding employees from discussing the company on social networking sites. The NLRB equates the discussion about the supervisor with other employees on Facebook with employee discussions at the water cooler in years prior to the predominance of social networking sites. American Medical Response believes that the offensive statements made by the discharged employee and fellow employees were not concerted activity protected under federal law.

An Administrative Law Judge will hear this case on January 25, 2011. I'll be watching this case.

Source: NYT, National Law Journal, www.switched.com

Courts Allow Access to Social Networking Sites

If you're like me, you have your Facebook security set to the highest level. So, it's safe, right? You're free to post any information or pictures you wish your "Friends" to see. Not necessarily.

Recently, there have been two cases, one in New York and one in Pennsylvania, where the courts have ruled in favor of allowing access to information from social networking accounts. Both cases involve injuries claimed to be restrictive and extensive, and in both cases photos and other information accessible online showed the claimants smiling and involved in restricted activities.

In Romano v. Steelcase, the case from New York, Romano had fallen off an office chair sustaining "serious permanent personal injuries." Yet her public profiles on Facebook and MySpace "reveal[ed] that she has an active lifestyle and can travel and apparently engages in many other physical activities inconsistent with her claims in this litigation." Therefore, Steelcase, served Romano with a request for discovery asking for "authorizations to obtain full access to and copies of Plaintiff's current and historical records/information on her Facebook and MySpace accounts." She, of course, refused.

The Court ruled "it is reasonable to infer from the limited postings on Plaintiff's public Facebook and MySpace profile pages, that her private pages may contain materials and information that are relevant to her claims or that may lead to the disclosure of admissible evidence." When considering privacy expectations, the Court found "as neither Facebook nor MySpace guarantee complete privacy, Plaintiff has no legitimate reasonable expectation of privacy."

In McMillen v. Hummingbird Speedway, Inc., McMillen "alleged significant and substantial injuries, some of which he claimed may be permanent." Defendants discovered posts, accessing only the public parts of McMillen's Facebook page, they contended showed McMillen had exaggerated his injuries.

McMillen argued that the Court should "recognize communications shared among one's private friends on social network computer sites as confidential and thus protected against disclosure." However, the Court found that while it's plausible that a person could use Facebook and MySpace "as forums to divulge and seek advice on personal and private matters, it would be unrealistic to expect that such disclosures would be considered confidential."

In both cases, the court forced the plaintiffs to hand over passwords for full access.

Sources: www.Law.com , Romano v. Steelcase and McMillen v. Hummingbird Speedway, Inc. slip opinions

The Digital Footprint of an Average Two Year-Old

A recent study conducted by Anti-virus software company AVG, polling more than 2,000 mothers in 10 Western countries found 81% of children under the age of two currently have some form of online presence. This presence ranges from photos online to a social media account in the child's name with a profile. Other findings from the AVG study, according to J.R. Smith at AVG blogs:

1. The average age at which a child acquires an online presence courtesy of their parents is at six months;
2. A third (33%) of children have had images posted online from birth;
3. A quarter (23%) of children have even had their pre-birth scans uploaded to the Internet by their parents;
4. Seven percent (7%) of babies have even had an email address created for them by their parents;
5. More than 70% of mothers said they posted baby and toddler images online to share with friends and family.

Mr. Smith cautioned parents to think about the kinds of information they upload about their children because this information will follow him or her for the rest of his or her life.

Sources: www.Mashable.com and www.publicradio.org

The Scoop

The moral of the story is to be sensible and conservative when posting pictures and information about yourself, your whereabouts, your children, your employer or fellow employees. It's easy to be lulled into a false sense of security when conversing with friends online. It's easy to forget that you aren't alone in your conversation; other friends, agencies, predators could be "watching." No, you don't have to go shut down all of your social networking accounts and take all of your photos offline. But you should ask yourself two things before you post it on the Internet: 1. Is this information or photo conveying the wrong impression? and 2. Could this information be used against me (or child or spouse, etc.)?

On Wednesday, I will post tips for ensuring you are safe and secure while interacting on the Internet. Over and out…

Anna

You might also like:

Welcome to the 21st Century: Laws to Protect Children Using the Internet

Walking a Fine Line: Social Host Laws and Underage Drinking

The Right to Bear Arms in Your Home: McDonald v. City of Chicago

Exciting New Hand Crafted Motherly Law Button

Button, button, who's got a button? I do, and it's a beauty! My friend and fellow blogger, the wonderfully talented Gussy, made it for me. (Psst…If you don't know Gussy go check out her fabulously ruffled, handmade bags).

If you read, follow, love or have any kind of positive attachment to Motherly Law, please grab my button for your site (See top right sidebar). When you grab it, please leave a comment so that I will know to thank you. I certainly appreciate your support!

Enjoy your Sunday. I'll be back on Monday with another riveting post. Over and out…

Anna

The Fierce Advocate: Internet Safety Tips for Your Kids

A Steadfast Love

The moment Darling 1 was born my primary role and most important job became that of mom. I have many titles: mom; wife; daughter; sister; lawyer; friend, etc. But it's the title of mom that I will always answer to first and foremost. As I have written in an earlier post, my credo as a parent is to love and protect – always. It's a love that I did not quite know or understand until the very second Darling 1 made his debut in this world. I am a fierce advocate for my Darling Boys.

Because of my steadfast love for my children I want them to be aware of dangers, but not afraid of them. Well, maybe a little afraid. That is, afraid enough that they don't wander off in a store; willingly go with a stranger; jump from the top of a slide or get into a body of water without an adult. And when they are teenagers, I hope they are afraid enough not to experiment with drugs and tobacco; drive after drinking; text while driving or any other crazy stunt.

Good Strangers v. Bad Strangers

Lately, the notion of a stranger is discussed fairly frequently in our home. The question is always how do you know if someone is a good stranger or a bad stranger? The answer is: you don't know. Strangers are anyone we don't know. This is really not an easy concept though considering we casually and politely chat with "strangers" all the time. And sometimes there are people DH and I know, but the Darling Boys don't who seem like strangers to them, thereby further clouding the already murky answer.

Strangers and the Internet

The question is even more difficult to answer when you start talking about being on the Internet. How do you identify who a "bad stranger" is online? People may not be who they say they are online. If your child is on Twitter, he or she is almost certainly communicating with strangers and tweeting about his or her life, which can be picked up and read by strangers. Now, Google, Facebook and Twitter have added a location option that tells anyone and everyone with access to these accounts exactly where someone is and what they are doing. There are profile pictures and photo albums on many social networking sites. Not much information is off limits anymore, giving strangers a clear picture of who and where your child is.

Strangers can invade your home in many ways through a computer. Information about your child may be freely available to strangers, depending on how the security levels are set on social media accounts. Additionally, hackers can gain access to any of this information regardless of how high someone's security is set. Hackers can even gain access to a webcam built into your child's computer, thereby giving them access to what your child is doing on the computer, but also allows someone to view your child and his or her setting through the webcam. Your child may also unwittingly communicate with an adult that mean him or her harm when it appears your child is conversing with another child.

Of course, these are all worse-case-scenarios. The Internet is a great place to learn; ask questions and find answers; have contact with people from around the world; play games; watch news; etc. I am a huge fan of the Internet and all it has to offer, especially now that I am a parent to two very inquisitive boys. Where else would I find the answers to all of their questions? So, my solution is to employ several practices and software to protect your family as best you can before you send them out onto the digital highway.

Internet Safety Tools and Tips

While there are many tools that limit access and protect kids from predators online, no software comes with a 100% guarantee. You must be mindful of what your child is doing on the computer. Frequently check on your child while he or she is online. Talk with your child about Internet risks and what to do if any of these threats are encountered. Here are some tips on taking an active role in protecting your kids:

• Become computer literate and learn how to block objectionable material.
• Keep the computer in a common area, not in individual bedrooms, where you can watch and monitor its use.
• Share an email account with your child so you can monitor messages.
• Bookmark kids' favorite sites for easy access.
• Spend time online together to teach your kids appropriate online behavior.
• Forbid your child from entering private chat rooms; block them with safety features provided by your Internet service provider or with special filtering software. Be aware that posting messages to chat rooms reveals a user's email address to others.
• Monitor your credit card and phone bills for unfamiliar account charges.
• Find out what, if any, online protection is offered by your child's school, after-school center, friends' homes, or anyplace where kids could use a computer without your supervision.
• Take your child seriously if he or she reports an uncomfortable online exchange.
• Forward copies of obscene or threatening messages you or your kids get to your Internet service provider.
• Call the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at (800) 843-5678 if you're aware of the transmission, use, or viewing of child pornography online. Contact your local law enforcement agency or the FBI if your child has received child pornography via the Internet.
• Many sites use "cookies," devices that track specific information about the user, such as name, email address, and shopping preferences. Cookies can be disabled. Ask your Internet service provider for more information.
• Warning signs of a child being targeted by an online predator include spending long hours online, especially at night, phone calls from people you don't know, or unsolicited gifts arriving in the mail. If your child suddenly turns off the computer when you walk into the room, ask why and monitor computer time more closely. Withdrawal from family life and reluctance to discuss online activities are other signs to watch for.
• Set up some simple rules for your kids to follow while they're using the Internet, such as:
  • Follow the rules you set, as well as those set by your Internet service provider.
  • Never trade personal photographs in the mail or scanned photographs over the Internet.
  • Never reveal personal information, such as address, phone number, or school name or location. Use only a screen name. Never agree to meet anyone from a chat room in person.
  • Never respond to a threatening email or message.
  • Always tell a parent about any communication or conversation that was scary.
  • If your child has a new "friend," insist on being "introduced" online to that friend.

In researching this topic, I did come across several tools that look interesting and helpful to me: Zoodles and Kidoz. Here is the review I found on these products:

Zoodles is a safe and secure way for your kids to browse online content. It is an Adobe's AIR platform supported free browser that can give kids a safe place to play and learn online. It can also be used as an online parental control service as you can restrict and moderate what your kids are doing online. As this works in Full Screen mode, your kid may not access anything but the browser and this also prevents him from messing up your files.

The interface looks colorful and fun, a perfect one for kids. It simultaneously syncs with the desktop application to show a full statistics about your child's online activity. You can control everything your children is doing online like see what they are browsing, help them in learning and more from the Zoodles Parent Dashboard.

Best features of Zoodles which makes it standout from other browsers for kids are..

• Virtual "Toybox" filled with puzzles, games and all sorts of fun activities which will adapt to the age and ability of each child.
• Ad blocker which strips out all unnecessary ads and prevents your kid from browsing anything dangerous online.
• Best educational content on the web: teaching through games based on Math, Design, Memory Skills, Computer Literacy, and much more.
• Parental Control and Monitoring
• Play-Along mode which allows parents to play side-by-side with their children

If you are a parent or guardian worried about your kids online browsing, Try Kidoz, an Adobe Air application for  free and safe Web Environment which is especially designed for young kids to surf their favorite sites, watch videos and play games with enhanced security with a lot of personalization options.

Kidoz provides a password-protected Parental Control page which lets you moderate and control your child's browsing activities and allows only pre-approved content. The system blocks links, scripts and any other attempts that lead to sites and content that have not been approved, preventing them from being viewed by the children.

Along with it you can personalize Kidoz by uploading new content, selecting user interface and content languages, enhancing security settings, allowing/blocking any content, and more.

The different features available are..

• Kidoz TV with YouTube for kids and access to personal and uploaded videos.
• Kidoz Game Center which have kid-safe games with all banners and links blocked and customization of game content according to your child's personal settings
• Favorites management
• Parental Control where you can moderate, personalize and share content with other users
• Available in 17 languages

Download Kidoz and use it to create a fun filled web environment with colorful user interface makes it one of the best tools for Kids online entertainment.  You need Adobe Air to use this product.

 

For those of you with Macs, I found Mac Minder. Mac Minder allows you to monitor your kids while using a Mac; protect your kids from certain sites or content; and even limit the amount of time your kids are the computer.

 

Useful Websites

 

The U.S. Justice Department's Cyber Ethics page has many great links to safety tips and information: http://www.justice.gov/criminal/cybercrime/links1.htm

Focus on the Family was the only website I found with reviews on multiple filtering and blocking software and devices. This list covers computers, phones, TVs, DVD players, basically all kinds of electronics. I thought it was a good list to start with in choosing what method is right for your family: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/protecting_your_family/articles/family_safety_resources.aspx#AllInternet

This Microsoft page has great Internet safety tips and information with steps for setting up the parental controls: http://www.microsoft.com/protect/family/guidelines/basics.mspx

The Scoop

It all comes down to some basic principles: Be a good example online and foster open and honest communication lines by talking to your kids about these safety concerns and how to handle these situations. It's a good idea to have access to your kids email and social networking accounts should the need arise for you to check up on your child. But make sure your child is aware that you have this access (to do so without your child's knowledge does not foster open communication lines between you and your child). An impromptu poll conducted on Facebook and Twitter asking what age a child should be allowed to have such social networking accounts received fairly similar responses. All participating parents answered somewhere in the range between 11 and 17. Where do you draw the line? I will post a bit of Motherly Advice on Friday. Over and out…

Anna

Welcome to the 21st Century: Laws to Protect Children Using the Internet

Technology Savvy

Uh, do you remember a few months ago when I said I don't text? Well, I need to retract that statement. I now text (kind of). Yes, it's true. I just bought a Smartphone. I have now entered the 21^st Century.

I am still not a huge fan of texting (yet), and I still advocate for no texting while driving, but the fact is many people just don't like to communicate in any other way (not to name any of my sisters-in-law). And I just might like to communicate with them.

Not only am I able to easily send and receive text messages on my new phone, I can also tweet, blog, access the Internet, post on Facebook, map where I am and where I would like to be, etc, etc, etc. And of course, if anyone is still interested in actually speaking to me, I can use it as a phone.

Quite honestly, the timing of this purchase is related to my forthcoming trip to NYC. I did not want to be left out of the communication loop when I go to a blogging conference in a couple of weeks. I knew I would be the only one in attendance without some kind of Smartphone. OK, I admit it. I folded to peer pressure, but regardless of the reason I have one.

The next step is to learn to use it. Technology savvy I am not. As easy as it is to send a text on my new phone, I still made a mistake the first time I attempted it. We were shopping in IKEA. DH and the Darlings were in the bathroom. I was in the bedding department. I thought I would be all smart with my Smartphone and text DH asking him, "Do you need a new pillow?" So, I did - only I mistyped DH's phone number by one digit and sent some total stranger a text about his or her bedding needs. I realized it before I got a quizzical reply, but in my panic was not sure what to do. I did reply explaining I had sent my message to the wrong number. I am definitely going to a need a tutorial.

Our Kids and Technology

The landscape of technology is changing with lightning speed. Every few months there are new and better versions of phones, computers, search engines, social media outlets, etc. We now have access to the world at our fingertips, and that access continually gets faster and broader with each passing year. Our children will not know life without technologies like YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Google, iTunes, texting, email, and all the Internet has to offer.

The Internet provides so much wonderful information for inquisitive kids seeking out answers to their never-ending questions; students writing papers and doing homework; families staying in contact with friends and family across the country and so much more. The problem is that with all the good that comes from the Internet, it also allows the bad to creep in too.

There's a never ending stream of junk email, pop up ads and circulating forwards. While these things are more irritating than harmful, there are many evils lurking in the dark corners of the Internet waiting to prey on young, naïve and unsuspecting users. It's easy to mistype a website url or give the url the wrong ending, like .com instead of .gov or .org, thereby leading you to a very different site. It is also simple to "meet" or "friend" the wrong kind of people on popular social media sites. Many sites ask for or require personal information that could expose your child to identity theft or other crimes. And these are just a few examples of the dangers of children using the Internet.

Internet Safety Laws

There are a few federal laws that are meant to protect kids using the Internet. One is Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) Rule and the other is the Federal Children's Internet Protection Act (CIPA). The primary goal of COPPA is to give parents control over what information is collected from their children online and how such information may be used. CIPA provides for three different types of funding to states that have Internet filtering laws for libraries and/or public schools: 1) aid to elementary and secondary schools; 2) Library Services and Technology Act (LSTA) grants to states for support of public libraries; and 3) the E-rate program that provides technology discounts to schools and public libraries.

COPPA

COPPA applies to:

• Operators of commercial Web sites and online services directed to children under 13 that collect personal information from them;
• Operators of general audience sites that knowingly collect personal information from children under 13; and
• Operators of general audience sites that have a separate children's area and that collect personal information from children under 13.

COPPA requires operators to:

• Post a privacy policy on the homepage of the Web site and link to the privacy policy on every page where personal information is collected.
• Provide notice about the site's information collection practices to parents and obtain verifiable parental consent before collecting personal information from children.
• Give parents a choice as to whether their child's personal information will be disclosed to third parties.
• Provide parents access to their child's personal information and the opportunity to delete the child's personal information and opt-out of future collection or use of the information.
• Not condition a child's participation in a game, contest or other activity on the child's disclosing more personal information than is reasonably necessary to participate in that activity.
• Maintain the confidentiality, security and integrity of personal information collected from children

CIPA

Twenty-one states have Internet filtering laws that apply to public schools or libraries. The majority of these states simply require school boards or public libraries to adopt Internet use policies to prevent minors from gaining access to sexually explicit, obscene or harmful materials. However, some states also require publicly funded institutions to install filtering software on library terminals or school computers.

CIPA requires public libraries that participate in the LSTA and E-rate programs to certify that they are using computer filtering software  to prevent the on-screen depiction of obscenity, child pornography or other material harmful to minors. The act allows adult library patrons to request that a librarian disable the filtering software. In order to receive E-rate discounts, libraries are not allowed to disable filtering programs for minor users. For a table of specific state laws click here .

Criminal Statutes

There are other laws that protect minors from exploitation, enticement, solicitation and other crimes against a person which are in penal codes of each state and the federal code. These laws may not exclusively apply to the Internet, but do extend to that platform.

When to Contact the Authorities

If you find out that any of the following has occurred in your household via the Internet immediately contact your local or state law enforcement agency, the FBI, and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children:

• Your child or anyone in the household has received child pornography;
• Your child has been sexually solicited by someone who knows that your child is under 18 years of age;
• Your child has received sexually explicit images from someone that knows your child is under the age of 18.

If any of these scenarios occur, keep the computer turned off in order to preserve any evidence for future law enforcement use. Unless directed to do so by the law enforcement agency, you should not attempt to copy any of the images and/or text found on the computer.

The Scoop

The point is not to forbid your child from accessing the resources on the Internet, but to make using the Internet safe for your child. On Wednesday, I will post ways to do just that. There are many methods and products available to protect your child from the Internet hazards. Have you or your children encountered any of these dangers while using the Internet? Over and out…

Anna

 

Best of Motherly Law Week Part II

According to the survey, the winner of the "Best of Motherly Law" Wednesday Tips and Websites post is: The Overly Cautious Traveler: Must Read Pool Safety Tips. This is a good topic as summer has now officially begun and pools everywhere are at full capacity. Tune in Thursday for the Best legal headlines of the week. I have little tasty tidbits for you all week long. Next week I will be discussing laws applicable to fireworks (the how, when, where and who); and I will provide you with safety tips for having a safe the 4^th of July holiday.

 

The Overly Cautious Traveler: Must Read Pool Safety Tips

The Mug Shots

 

I was a bit nervous about flying after the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. So, prior to my first post-attack flight, I printed the mug shots of the FBI's top 10 wanted terrorists and slipped it in my carry-on bag. (Don't laugh.) Once I arrived at my gate, I took the paper out and began my silent interrogation of my fellow passengers. I continued to observe my flight-mates after I boarded the aircraft, with my mug shots in hand, looking for any "strange" behavior. While I no longer carry printed mug shots along on trips, I continue to be hyper-observant in airports and on-board airplanes. I stay alert and never sleep on planes just in case I must thwart the terroristic plans of a wayward soul. (DH attempts to stay awake. This is only because I won't allow him to sleep. He is the one that will have to confront the would-be terrorists. After all, he is much taller than I am.) I am happy and relieved to report that there has not been any illicit behavior on any flight I have been on…yet. If you ever have the pleasure of traveling with me, rest assured, I will be watching out for the safety of everyone on the flight.

 

This safety freakishness carries over into other areas too, especially now that I am a parent. I don't rely on doctors to ask me the right questions or give me all the information: I ask questions and do research too; I don't assume that drivers will notice the mom with a large double stroller walking behind, in front of or around their vehicles: I wait and watch for my turn to stroll by; I don't presume that the lifeguards and other parents will watch my kids in the wading pool or splash pad: I vigilantly keep an eye on them, and those around them. That is how my brain works. I can quickly assess the problem (unsafe) areas of any location that my kids will be loose, running around and exploring, and plan accordingly. It's the analytical side of me.

 

Pool Safety Tips

 

As pool season arrives, there are numerous dangerous situations that play through my head. This year is the first year that I will have two running, jumping, splashing, swimming, exploring Darling Boys to be watching over. In one way, it will be easier for me, since I won't be toting one around on my hip. But Darling 2 is especially keen on anything to do with water, and he is fearless. Fortunately, Darling 1 is more cautious and will be watching out for Darling 2, as well.

 

Pool safety rules may seem like second nature (don't run, don't let your kids go in and around a pool without you, etc.), but it's a good idea to review these tips and keep them fresh in the mind. I found some great tips from the City of Republic, MO's website. The tips are simple and easily implemented:

Use Layers of Protection

To prevent swimming pool drownings, the use of layers of protection is essential. Place barriers completely around the pool, closely supervise young children and be prepared in case of emergency.

In addition:

• If a child is missing, always look first in the pool. Seconds count!
• Knowing how to swim doesn't make a child drown-proof.
• Never use flotation devices as a substitute for supervision.
• Keep rescue equipment, such as a shepherd's hook, and a phone next to the pool.
• Learn cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).
• Install physical barriers around the pool to limit access.
• Fences and walls should be at least 4-feet high and installed completely around the pool.
• Gates should be self-closing and self-latching.
• The latch should be out of reach of small children.
• If your house forms one side of the barrier for the pool, doors leading from the house to the pool should be protected with alarms that sound when the doors are unexpectedly opened. Or, use a power safety cover, a motor-powered barrier placed over the water area, to prevent access by young children.
•  For above-ground pools, steps and ladders to the pool should be secured or removed when the pool is not in use.

Pool and Spa Entrapment Dangers

• Never use a pool or spa with a missing or broken drain cover. Be sure a newer, safer drain cover is in place. The new drain covers are usually domed-shaped– instead of the old flat drain covers.
• Consider installing a Safety Vacuum Release System (SVRS), a device that will automatically shut off a pump if a blockage is detected.
• Have a professional regularly inspect your pool or spa for entrapment or entanglement hazards.
• Plainly mark the location of the electrical cut-off switch for the pool or spa pump.
• If someone is entrapped against a drain, cut off the pump immediately. Instead of trying to pull the person away from the powerful suction, pry a hand between the drain and the person's body to break the seal.

From http://www.republicmo.com/safety-pages/208-swimming-pool-safety

The American Academy of Pediatrics has traditionally stated that swimming lessons for children under the age of 4 years is not recommended. However, the AAP has now issued new safety guidelines stating swimming lessons may help prevent drowning in some children ages 1 to 4, but that it's up to a parent to decide whether his or her child is physically and emotionally ready to learn. The AAP further reminds that teaching a child to swim does not mean a child is "drown-proof." Here are a few additional pool safety tips from the AAP:

A swimming pool can be very dangerous for children. If possible, do not put a swimming pool in your yard until your children are older than 5 years. Help protect your children from drowning by doing the following:

• Never leave your children alone in or near the pool, even for a moment. An adult who knows CPR should actively supervise children at all times.
• Practice touch supervision with children younger than 5 years. This means that the adult is within an arm's length of the child at all times.
• Do not use air-filled "swimming aids" as a substitute for approved life vests.
• Remove all toys from the pool after use so children aren't tempted to reach for them.
• After the children are done swimming, secure the pool so they can't get back into it.

From http://www.aap.org/family/tipppool.htm

Websites

 

These three websites provide a wealth of information on pool safety from how to prevent a child from drowning to chemicals levels in water to swim lessons to anti-entrapment device standards:

1. ABC Pool Safety: http://www.abcpoolsafety.org/
2. Water Quality & Health Council: http://www.waterandhealth.org/pool_spa/index.html
3. Consumer Product Safety Commission: http://www.poolsafety.gov/

 

The Scoop

 

The bottom line is to keep your eyes on your children when they are swimming and stay close. Don't get distracted by your iPhone or Blackberry, chatting with friends, preparing a meal, etc. If you have pool at your home, put up barriers, locking gates and consider having a motorized cover over the pool. Do you have a pool or access to a pool? What precautions have you taken? Do your kids know your rules for being around a pool, whether it is yours, a neighbors or the city's? Please leave on comment here, on Facebook or Twitter. I would love to hear your thoughts. On Friday, I will post a bit of Motherly Advice. Over and out…

 

Anna

The World at Our Fingertips: Finding a Link to Another Attorney/Mom/Blogger

Our world is getting smaller all the time. On a daily basis, I communicate with people in Canada, the East Coast, the West Coast and everywhere in between all thanks to the ever present social media community. Because of these media outlets like Twitter and Facebook, people from around the globe can and do read my blog and millions of other blogs. It's really incredible to think about it. People are now able to express themselves through writing, photography, art, cooking, etc., and at the same time reach out to others with similar stories, goals, theories, questions; sometimes touching millions. The opportunities are limitless in this new sphere.

 

Last week, attorney Danielle G. Van Ess found Motherly Law through the social media community. She is Massachusetts. I am in Minnesota. We have never met, and we do not have any common acquaintances. Nonetheless, we have been emailing back and forth, and have discovered we have a lot in common. She, like me, is not only an attorney, but also a wife and a mom (to three little ones). We are both night owls. We both have cats. We both are striving to develop our careers as attorneys, yet spend as much time as possible raising our kids and being moms, which means spending much of our time working after the sun goes down and the kids are in bed.

 

Danielle has developed a solo practice in which she focuses on estate planning, residential real estate and adoption. She understands the issues facing young families. As a part of her practice, Danielle blogs about these issues: from wills and trusts to 529 College Savings Plans to long term care for aging parents, and much more. While Danielle hails from Massachusetts and adds specific state information to most of her posts the general topics and gist of the laws are relevant to all.

 

Since I have declared this the "Best of" week and my wills and trusts post came in 2^nd on the survey, I thought I would link to Danielle's recent post: "What's the Best Way to Leave Our Children Their Inheritance?" She has great information about various options and the difference between testamentary trusts and revocable living trusts. You can also go back and read my post on the importance of having a will and trust, tips for getting your estate in order, estate planning for your special needs child and check out the supplementary estate planning document.

 

Please leave Danielle a comment and let her know you found her through Motherly Law. She has lots of great posts. So, take some time and peruse her site or bookmark it for later. You can also find Danielle on Twitter and Facebook. As always, feel free to leave me comments too. You know where to find me. Tune in tomorrow for the winner of the "Best of" Wednesday Tips and Websites Post. Over and out…

 

Anna

 

The Overly Cautious Traveler: Must Read Pool Safety Tips {Always a Good Reminder}

The Mug Shots

 

I was a bit nervous about flying after the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. So, prior to my first post-attack flight, I printed the mug shots of the FBI's top 10 wanted terrorists and slipped it in my carry-on bag. (Don't laugh.)

Once I arrived at my gate, I took the paper out and began my silent interrogation of my fellow passengers. I continued to observe my flight-mates after I boarded the aircraft, with my mug shots in hand, looking for any "strange" behavior.

While I no longer carry printed mug shots along on trips, I continue to be hyper-observant in airports and on-board airplanes. I stay alert and never sleep on planes just in case I must thwart the terroristic plans of a wayward soul. (DH attempts to stay awake. This is only because I won't allow him to sleep. He is the one that will have to confront the would-be terrorists. After all, he is much taller than I am.)

I am happy and relieved to report that there has not been any illicit behavior on any flight I have been on…yet. If you ever have the pleasure of traveling with me, rest assured, I will be watching out for the safety of everyone on the flight.

This safety freakishness carries over into other areas too, especially now that I am a parent. I don't rely on doctors to ask me the right questions or give me all the information: I ask questions and do research too; I don't assume that drivers will notice the mom with a large double stroller walking behind, in front of or around their vehicles: I wait and watch for my turn to stroll by; I don't presume that the lifeguards and other parents will watch my kids in the wading pool or splash pad: I vigilantly keep an eye on them, and those around them.

That is how my brain works. I can quickly assess the problem (unsafe) areas of any location that my kids will be loose, running around and exploring, and plan accordingly. It's the analytical side of me.

Pool Safety Tips

As pool season arrives, there are numerous dangerous situations that play through my head. This year is the first year that I will have two running, jumping, splashing, swimming, exploring Darling Boys to be watching over. In one way, it will be easier for me, since I won't be toting one around on my hip. But Darling 2 is especially keen on anything to do with water, and he is fearless. Fortunately, Darling 1 is more cautious and will be watching out for Darling 2, as well.

Pool safety rules may seem like second nature (don't run, don't let your kids go in and around a pool without you, etc.), but it's a good idea to review these tips and keep them fresh in the mind. I found some great tips from the City of Republic, MO's website. The tips are simple and easily implemented:

Use Layers of Protection

To prevent swimming pool drownings, the use of layers of protection is essential. Place barriers completely around the pool, closely supervise young children and be prepared in case of emergency.

In addition:

• If a child is missing, always look first in the pool. Seconds count!
• Knowing how to swim doesn't make a child drown-proof.
• Never use flotation devices as a substitute for supervision.
• Keep rescue equipment, such as a shepherd's hook, and a phone next to the pool.
• Learn cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).
• Install physical barriers around the pool to limit access.
• Fences and walls should be at least 4-feet high and installed completely around the pool.
• Gates should be self-closing and self-latching.
• The latch should be out of reach of small children.
• If your house forms one side of the barrier for the pool, doors leading from the house to the pool should be protected with alarms that sound when the doors are unexpectedly opened. Or, use a power safety cover, a motor-powered barrier placed over the water area, to prevent access by young children.
•  For above-ground pools, steps and ladders to the pool should be secured or removed when the pool is not in use.

Pool and Spa Entrapment Dangers

• Never use a pool or spa with a missing or broken drain cover. Be sure a newer, safer drain cover is in place. The new drain covers are usually domed-shaped– instead of the old flat drain covers.
• Consider installing a Safety Vacuum Release System (SVRS), a device that will automatically shut off a pump if a blockage is detected.
• Have a professional regularly inspect your pool or spa for entrapment or entanglement hazards.
• Plainly mark the location of the electrical cut-off switch for the pool or spa pump.
• If someone is entrapped against a drain, cut off the pump immediately. Instead of trying to pull the person away from the powerful suction, pry a hand between the drain and the person's body to break the seal.

From http://www.republicmo.com/safety-pages/208-swimming-pool-safety

The American Academy of Pediatrics has traditionally stated that swimming lessons for children under the age of 4 years is not recommended. However, the AAP has now issued new safety guidelines stating swimming lessons may help prevent drowning in some children ages 1 to 4, but that it's up to a parent to decide whether his or her child is physically and emotionally ready to learn. The AAP further reminds that teaching a child to swim does not mean a child is "drown-proof." Here are a few additional pool safety tips from the AAP:

A swimming pool can be very dangerous for children. If possible, do not put a swimming pool in your yard until your children are older than 5 years. Help protect your children from drowning by doing the following:

• Never leave your children alone in or near the pool, even for a moment. An adult who knows CPR should actively supervise children at all times.
• Practice touch supervision with children younger than 5 years. This means that the adult is within an arm's length of the child at all times.
• Do not use air-filled "swimming aids" as a substitute for approved life vests.
• Remove all toys from the pool after use so children aren't tempted to reach for them.
• After the children are done swimming, secure the pool so they can't get back into it.

From http://www.aap.org/family/tipppool.htm

Websites

 

These three websites provide a wealth of information on pool safety from how to prevent a child from drowning to chemicals levels in water to swim lessons to anti-entrapment device standards:

1. ABC Pool Safety: http://www.abcpoolsafety.org/
2. Water Quality & Health Council: http://www.waterandhealth.org/pool_spa/index.html
3. Consumer Product Safety Commission: http://www.poolsafety.gov/

The Scoop

The bottom line is to keep your eyes on your children when they are swimming and stay close. Don't get distracted by your iPhone or Blackberry, chatting with friends, preparing a meal, etc. If you have pool at your home, put up barriers, locking gates and consider having a motorized cover over the pool. Do you have a pool or access to a pool? What precautions have you taken? Do your kids know your rules for being around a pool, whether it is yours, a neighbors or the city's? Please leave on comment here, on Facebook or Twitter. I would love to hear your thoughts. On Friday, I will post a bit of Motherly Advice. Over and out…

Anna

The Distracted Parent: Must Read Tips and Websites for Staying Focused and Driving Safely

If You Give a Sleep-Deprived Mommy a To-Do List…

 

I'm a highly distractible person. I get lost in thought, diverted, distracted, sidetracked, preoccupied or whatever term you want to label it. I recently read a blog post about this topic that called this behavior drifting. I thought that was a good term for it because I do most certainly drift from one thing to another in my house. I get started on one task and then have to go to another room for something else, forget the first task, see something else that has to be done, start on that, wander back to the room I started from and realize I never finished the first task, then realize I don't have time to finish the first task because I have to get ready to go somewhere. This sort of thing goes on all the time. My mind is always wandering, day dreaming, planning, analyzing, writing blog posts, etc. I usually have multiple screens open on my computer each concerning a different topic or thought I had about something; sometimes there's a basket of clean clothes, half-folded; the bills are out to be paid, but I haven't actually done anything with them yet. You get the idea. I'm also like this when I go shopping, despite having a detailed list I bounce around the store, and many times forget something on the list. It's a lot like the book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie…." I think this is one of the causes of my perpetual tardiness, and an effect of my perpetual lack of sleep.

 

Despite all of this, I do manage to stay focused long enough to do my work, care for my kids, cook without burning the house down, drive safely and without getting lost. In fact, I have an intense focus much of the time, especially when it has to do with my kids' safety. This is why I think it's important to try to drive with as few distractions as possible. I mean, honestly, I can't drive totally without distraction if the kids are in the car and awake. They provide much of the distraction: they are loud; sometimes crying; sometimes hitting or kicking each other, or my seat; trying to hand me cups, toys, books, items of clothing, half-eaten granola bars, etc; singing, shrieking or talking; pointing out cars that look like Lightning McQueen, Mater, Mack or Luigi; asking about cranes; asphalt making machines, construction workers; the distractions provided by my Darling Boys are never-ending. Based on the distractions that can't be quieted, I really should be focusing on cutting out as many other diversions as possible, including using my phone while on the road.

 

Driving Distractions

 

Distracted driving is a non-driving activity that a person engages in while driving that has the potential to distract him or her from the primary focus of driving. There are several types of distractions:

• Visual: taking your eyes off the road, i.e. reading a text message; looking back at your squabbling kids;
• Manual: taking your hands off the wheel, i.e. reaching for your child's sippy cup that has fallen (or more likely been thrown) on the floor; changing the radio or putting a CD in the player;
• Cognitive: taking your mind off what you are doing, i.e. listening to and engaging in a conversation; daydreaming

We have all seen someone reading a book, texting, applying makeup, shaving (Dear Husband saw a man shaving in the car during his morning commute just last week), totally jamming out to the music, etc., and have been shocked that someone would actually attempt to do these things while driving. How terribly unsafe! Yet almost all of us would not think twice about answering our cell phones and/or making a phone call while driving. Here are some tips I found that are both sensible and simple. I think these tips are a good reminder of what we should not be doing while operating a massively heavy metal, glass, gas-filled object, capable of going tremendous speeds, yet potential deadly at any speed:

• Avoid talking on your cell phone;
• Never multi-task while driving, such as adjusting the radio, CD player or GPS unit;
• Do not read while driving. When you need to read or use a map, pull off the road;
• Avoid taking your coat off or changing clothes while driving.
• Do not put makeup on, comb your hair, brush your teeth and/or shave while driving;
• Avoid eating or drinking while driving;
• Keep music at a reasonable level. Listening to music that is too loud or using headphones or earplugs while driving can be distracting and can prevent you from hearing emergency vehicles sharing the road with you;
• Avoid lighting up or putting out cigarettes, or dealing with falling ashes while driving (and my opinion on this one is just don't smoke ever).

 

The Statistics

Based on the comments and discussion that Monday's post, Driving to Distraction Part II, elicited and the statistics recorded by nationwide studies, most people feel that texting is more dangerous than using a cell phone, and most people do use cell phones while driving. However, many drivers are now using hands-free devices, which are mandated by law in some states, as the only option available for talking on the phone while driving, in an effort to be "safer." But is that the safer choice? Is a driver less distracted when using a hands-free device?

Research indicates that whether it's a hands-free or hand-held device, the cognitive distraction is significant enough to degrade a driver's performance. The driver is more likely to miss key visual and audio cues needed to avoid a crash. So, the argument goes: isn't using a cell phone or hands-free device just like having a conversation with a passenger? Well, some research findings show both activities to be equally risky, while others show cell phone use to be more risky. A significant difference between the two is the fact that a passenger can monitor the driving situation along with the driver and pause for, or alert the driver to, potential hazards, whereas a person on the other end of the phone line is unaware of the roadway situation.

Research on distracted driving reveals some surprising facts:

• Driving while using a cell phone reduces the amount of brain activity associated with driving by 37 percent. (Source: Carnegie Mellon)
• Nearly 6,000 people died in 2008 in crashes involving a distracted driver, and more than half a million were injured. (NHTSA)
• The younger, inexperienced drivers under 20 years old have the highest proportion of distraction-related fatal crashes.
• Drivers who use hand-held devices are four times as likely to get into crashes serious enough to injure themselves. (Source: Insurance Institute for Highway Safety)
• Using a cell phone while driving, whether it's hand-held or hands-free, delays a driver's reactions as much as having a blood alcohol concentration at the legal limit of .08 percent. (Source: University of Utah)

In the end, it is up to each driver to decide (unless the law decides for you) how necessary is it that you use your cell phone, hands-free or hand-held, based on a variety of factors: how many other distractions do you have at the time; what are the road conditions; how rested are you; what is your mental status or mood; how heavy is traffic; are you near a school or park; are you driving in residential areas or on a highway, etc. Regardless of what you decide or whether you agree with these statistics, the bare-bones truth is that talking while driving is one more distraction to add to a list of many.

 

Websites

I'm sure you have heard that Oprah has begun an initiative to get drivers to stop using cell phones and texting while driving. It's called "Oprah's No Phone Zone." Oprah is asking drivers to pledge not to text and/or use cell phones while driving. You can add your name to the pledge by going to this site: http://www.oprah.com/packages/no-phone-zone.html.

Another very helpful website with all kinds of statistics and compiled research findings is: www.distraction.gov, part of the U.S. Department of Transportation.

And lastly, http://www.ghsa.org/, the Governors Highway Safety Association website. It has great up-to-date information about state laws concerning texting and cell phone usage while driving.

 

The Scoop

So, based on the statistics and research findings, do you still feel safe using your phone, whether hands-free or hand-held while driving? Are you going to change your ways? Or do you feel it's one of the least distractions you have in the car? Are there other distractions you can eliminate? On Friday, I will post a bit of Motherly Advice. Next week, I am going to post about the laws related to booster car seats. Over and out…

 

Anna

B.Y.O.B. (Bring Your Own Blog) Party at Motherly Law’s Domain

Woo Hoo!! Ultimate Blog Party!!!! Welcome to my site! This is the best kind of party ever! I didn't even have to clean my house, get out of my pjs, put the dogs in the room, or stand in a hot kitchen cooking all day! Note to my regular readers: The Ultimate Blog Party is a way to introduce new readers to my blog and make new bloggy friends. Over the next week, there will be visitors making a stop here to say hi and see what Motherly Law is all about.

 

So, what is Motherly Law all about? Well, let me first introduce myself. I am an attorney, a wife and a mom to two young boys, two giant dogs and 3 aging cats. I am originally from Texas, but now live in the Twin Cities in Minnesota. I work from home as an independent contractor for a legal publishing company and just 6 weeks ago started this blog. What I strive to provide and hope you will find here is relevant, interesting and helpful information on legal issues that affect families, all from the perspective of a mom. So far, I have covered BPA Free laws, the importance of having a will, estate planning when you have a special needs child, bike helmet laws, and texting while driving. I have many, many more interesting topics on my list. I post 3 times a week: an article on the chosen topic on Monday, tips and Web sites pertaining to Monday's topic on Wednesday and a bit of Motherly Advice on Friday.

 

Now take a peek around and see if you find anything that interests you. Please take a minute to read my About page – you will find the link located on the top, right side of the blog – to find out more about me. Oh, one other thing I forgot to mention, my almost 4 year-old son, referred to as Darling 1 on this blog, takes all the photos for my posts. He is quite proud of this fact.

 

Lastly, if I was actually hosting a party in my home, I would for sure have chocolate (something I can't live without) and wine here for you. So, take a second to have a virtual piece of chocolate and glass of wine, red or white, your choice. So much better on the waistline! Enjoy! These virtual parties are great!

 

Before you go, please leave a comment, including your URL, so that I can stop by your place too. Thanks so much for coming. Please come back soon. Over and out…

Anna

 

 

Day 31 in the Blogosphere: The Stats

It has been one month since I launched Motherly Law. Am I glad I took the plunge? Absolutely! I am doing what I love best: researching and writing about legal issues. I love the law. The law is something to go to, to hold fast to, yet it is also subject to interpretation, and if we really don't like a law or find that it is not necessary or useful anymore, we can change it, get rid of it or even add a new more relevant law (OK, so I am using the term we loosely, but you get the point). Law is steadfast, but also transient; a kind of yin and yang. Somehow I find this comforting. I am hopeful that through this blog, I can convey my love of law and shed light on the wide range of topics I intend to bring to you in the coming months.

 

Speaking of subject to interpretation…Here are my blog statistics after one month (cue drum roll – if my boys were awake right now I could have a real drum roll):

• Pageviews on www.motherlylaw.com: 2250
• Post Reads on www.blogher.com: 1210
• Visits to Facebook Fan Page: 900
• Number of Facebook Fans: 164
• Number of Comments on FB and Web site: 55
• Rank on www.Technorati.com: 39,450 of 1,186,880 blogs (yes, these numbers are for real!)
• Number of Feeds: 30
• Number of Twitter Followers: 26
• Number of Times Re-Blogged: 1
• Clicks on Adsense Ads: 82
• Number of Items Ordered on Amazon Thru www.motherlylaw.com : 18

So, what do all these numbers mean? I really have no idea, but here's my take on them: people are reading my posts and sharing the information I am putting out there. And I am so grateful for that. I will continue to burn the midnight oil and bring you enlightening, interesting articles and bits of information. Please continue to comment, read and share my posts with your friends and colleagues, and send me ideas. You can find Motherly Law here at www.motherlylaw.com ,on Facebook and Twitter, and I also post on www.blogher.com. Thank you so much for reading! I truly appreciate your support! Over and Out…

Anna

Old Habits Die Hard: Must Read Tips and Web Sites to Help Break the Habit of Texting While Driving

You should see my computer. I have a Sony Vaio laptop – its white, or at least it started out white, now it's more of an off-white at best and a bit grayish in areas. The top cover is marked with several shades of fuchsia from an errant crayon- wielding toddler, but my keyboard is really the sight to behold: it's missing 7 keys. This is where typing class in 9^th grade, using typewriters, not computers, really comes in handy, having had to memorize exactly where the keys are and type without looking at my hands (Thank you, Ms. Hollingsworth), considering I can no longer identify the keys that have been removed. I can still use them; it just takes a bit more effort to push down the tiny button that remains. How did this happen, you ask? My darling boys, of course. They are attracted to my laptop like moths to an open flame. They always have been, even as tiny infants. And as you may or may not know, laptop keyboard keys come off very easily. Once they figured this out they did it because they thought it was fun, they were curious or they did it out of boredom. Who knows? What is clear is that they do know they are not supposed to touch my computer without permission. Despite warnings, threats and time-outs, they both continue to touch (or pound on), attempt to use, and generally terrorize my computer. Why? Why? Why? Well, why do I keep eating the bag of chocolate Easter candy even though I know it is not good for my waistline? Why do people continue to text while driving when they know it is hazardous to all drivers and pedestrians? Why do we as humans engage in activity that we know is dangerous, unhealthy or against the law? We do these things because we like the way it makes us feel, what we get from it, and because it is a habit.

Texting while driving is a habit that can cause great injury, damage and even death. Habits are hard to break, but don't worry I have tips. There is new technology that helps the driver resist the urge to text or even disables wireless devices while driving. One example of this new technology is crash avoidance systems that are built into vehicles. These systems warn drivers when they are not paying attention. For instance, there are warnings for lane-departures, forward-collision warnings, etc. Crash avoidance systems work to prevent all kinds of distracted driving, not just distraction due to texting. However, most cars do not have crash avoidance systems, not even new cars. Clearly this is not a quick fix, but one to consider as feature of new cars in the future.

The other, more readily available option, is blocking software that is available for GPS-capable smart phones. These work by using GPS to detect that a vehicle is moving faster than a trigger speed (15 mph, for example) then turning on the blocking technology. Two such programs are iZUP and ZoomSafer.

• iZUP holds text messages, e-mails and calls while you're driving, yet always allows unlimited access to 911 and a list of authorized phone numbers.
• ZoomSafer activates automatically or manually; sends an auto-reply to text messages, emails and unanswered phone calls; enables outbound calls via one touch voice dial; prioritizes inbound calls through your choice of hands-free options, and tells you who is calling so you don't have to look at your phone; and optionally shares your status via email, text, Facebook or Twitter.
• There are other similar programs, such as Textecution, DriveSafe.ly, tXtBlocker and others. All of these programs do essentially the same thing, range in prices from $1.99 a month to $5.95 a month and vary in compatibility with phones. Software for iPhones is in the works, but not yet available.

Blocking software is affordable and easily set up for each user's specifications. This option is a good choice for parents with teenaged drivers and also for employer's with employee's using company phones. While some of these programs can be disabled by the user, most have to have a password from the administrator of the account (that is, mom, dad or the employer), and many report to the administrator if the disabling device is tampered with by anyone else.

I have two Web sites to suggest today. The first is http://txtresponsibly.org/. The mission of TXTResponsibly.org is to raise awareness of the dangers of texting while driving and to prevent harmful injury or death caused by the act of texting recklessly. Here you can take an oath that you will not text while driving, tell your story, read other's stories, and find relevant information, including state's laws. The second is http://handsfreeinfo.com/. This site includes the state laws on texting on a state-by-state basis. If you are unsure what your state law includes or if your state even has a law go check out this Web site (or go back to Monday's post to check the table I provided there http://tinyurl.com/yf93jcc).

Have you tried using blocking software? Or do you have any other ways of resisting the urge to text while driving or even while sitting at a traffic light or creeping along in rush hour traffic? Drop me a line and tell me your thoughts.

On Friday, I will have a bit of Motherly Advice for you. Until then, drive safely without distraction. Over and out…

Anna

 

 

Driving to Distraction: The Hazards of Texting While Driving & Laws Restricting This Habit {The Start of My Accidental Platform}

I don't text. In fact, I have never sent a text message – ever. Shocking, I know. Am I the only person above the age of 4 and below the age of 80 who can make that statement? Probably. I don't even have a fancy schmancy phone. I have whatever model happens to be the free phone at the time I go in to get a new phone. You know, the kind that is just a phone. Seriously. And I am happy with that.

To say that I am not tech savvy is an understatement, but I have been on a crash course of learning everything I can about the technology of social media since January when I hatched the idea of this blogging venture. In fact, I am pretty impressed with what I have learned, so far. I still have miles and miles to go, but it's a start.

Regardless of my disinterest with texting, the rest of the world seems to be enamored with the idea of constantly communicating with multiple people at the same time without actually having to pick up a phone, talk face-to-face or sit in front of a computer. The act of texting is all well and good (I will spare you my commentary on the demise of social skills and what this means for communication abilities for the coming generations) except when someone does so while operating a vehicle.

The act of texting then becomes a crime in many jurisdictions. Studies have shown that the mind can't multi-task in a way that gives sufficient attention to each of the two or more activities being done simultaneously. This certainly applies to texting and driving, which amounts to driving while distracted. Some authorities on this subject are calling this combination more dangerous than driving while intoxicated – and that scares me.

 In July of 2009, Virginia Tech's Transportation Institute published a study based on texting done by truckers. In this study Virginia Tech looked at 4,452 "safety critical events," which included 21 crashes, 197 near crashes and approximately 4,200 other events, such as unintentional lane changes. They found that when truckers text they are 23 times more likely to be involved in a crash or close call.

This study further found that texting drivers take their eyes off the road for an average of 4.6 seconds out of every 6 seconds. For example, if the texting driver is going 55 mph, he or she is traveling the length of a football field, end zone to end zone, without looking at the road. To me that visual is astounding and disturbing. A lot can happen on the road in that time and distance, whether you are driving on the highway, major thoroughfare or city street.

Another study conducted by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) published in Feb. of 2010, surveyed 1,219 drivers 18 and older. The Institute found that texting is more common among younger drivers, which is not surprising to me. The part that is unexpected is that only 13% of drivers surveyed report texting while driving. Of that 13%, 37% were ages 18 to 24.

Interestingly, this survey shows that most drivers that text while driving are not discouraged by the laws banning texting while driving. Again, age played a part in the findings. The younger drivers, ages 18 to 24, reported 45% texting while driving in states where it is illegal to do so, and almost 48% of drivers in this age group reported texting in states without laws banning the practice; drivers ages 25 to 29, 40% reported texting in states where it is banned, while 55% say they text while driving in states without laws regulating this practice; for drivers ages 30 to 59 the numbers don't change.

Regardless of whether there is a law in place or not, 12% of these drivers text while driving. According to these findings, it does not make much difference whether or not there is a law banning texting while driving or not. It would seem that if someone wants to text while driving he or she will do so regardless of the consequences.

Equally as telling, the survey from IIHS found that many drivers are not clear on whether their state has a law on this topic or not. In states with a law banning all drivers from texting, 48% of those surveyed believed there was no law or were unsure.

While this number seems quite high, I have to admit I was unaware that Minnesota had a texting ban until doing the research for this post. How many of you can answer this question with certainty regarding your home state (that is, without skipping down below to the table provided)? Even more astonishing is that a number of those that knew there was a law in their state barring texting for all drivers did not think that officers consistently enforce those laws.

There are 30 states, including the District of Columbia, with laws banning texting while driving to some extent. What this means is that some states have total bans for all drivers, others restrict only those drivers with permits, drivers of certain ages or professions (such as bus drivers). See Table below to check for your state. The Federal government recently passed legislation that bars truck drivers and bus drivers from texting while driving.

 An additional four states: Georgia, South Carolina, Massachusetts and Wisconsin have pending legislation at this time. This means that bills restricting texting while driving have been presented in the state legislature, but have not yet passed in the House of Representatives and/or Senate in that state and/or have yet to be signed by the Governor of that state.

 

Click here fo State Cell Phones and Texting Laws.

I would like to point out that even though many states restrict all drivers or restrict only certain drivers, if you have questions about the law in your state, please do some research and find your particular state's law and read it. The wording, exact restrictions and penalties vary from state to state. On Wednesday, I will provide you with several Web sites that will help you to find your state law(s).

 It seems that regardless of whether one texts while driving or not, it is generally regarded as a dangerous habit. A survey done by Nationwide Insurance shows that 80% of the respondents support a ban on texting while driving. However, even though more than half of the states in this country have now passed full or partial bans many drivers continue to text.

In fact, drivers tend to text when traffic is heaviest during rush hours, with much starting and stopping. Studies further show that few of the texts drivers send while on the road are work-related or even pressing business (not that the importance of the text matters) , instead most are of the social nature.

What bothers me about this subject is that whether I text is irrelevant. I could be hit by a vehicle in which the driver is distracted by his or her texting. This practice endangers the lives of everyone. It is the responsibility of all of us to bring awareness to these hazards and remind your spouses, teenagers, friends, etc not to text while driving. There is no text message that is worth more than life.

 On Wednesday, I will post tips on new technology that can help you, your employees, teens, etc to control the urge to text while driving and two Web sites: one with state law information; and the other whose mission it is to provide awareness about the dangers of texting recklessly. Over and out….

  Anna

Maybe one day I will feel the urge to send a text. Maybe I will find it necessary as a mode of communication to "speak" to my boys once they enter their teenage years. Or maybe not. My friends are still reeling from finding me on Facebook and Twitter, let alone writing a blog.