Hanging By a Thread

Bookmarked {a Collector of Information}

I have a problem. I collect information…recipes, bits on a new law, a list of clever hacks, ideas for using mason jars, a list of science projects to do with my kids; reasons for eating cabbage every day, something I want to remember for later, party ideas, listings of seasonal events, articles on dyslexia, a bit about a new restaurant or a list of top restaurants with patios, the list goes on and on and on. I just keep tucking away information like a packrat. I say to myself that at some time in the future when I have a chance I will read it all.

That time never seems to come…but it will…I'm sure of it…I think.

Now, it's not 1998. I don't have stacks of paper cut out from magazines and newspapers or reams of paper containing information printed from my computer sitting in corners, occupying shelves or pinned to the wall…anymore.

No, it's all invisible to those unaccustomed to my habit.

It's all online {for the most part}. I simply click the star in the corner of my screen and store it away in my bookmarked pages.

It's a great way to be sure you can get back to pages you may want to visit again. So, what's the problem?

Well, I have hundreds and hundreds, maybe thousands of pages bookmarked. I know… I know…ridiculous…over the top….crazy. True, but I go back to this list over and over to grab a bit of info or look up something again or confirm something. I do use this information…eventually.

In fact, during my upcoming vacation, I plan to spend a day just reading through these bookmarked pages and perhaps I'll categorize some and get rid of others and hold on to a few…oh, alright, who am I kidding? I'll keep a good number of these bookmarks and not get through all of them in one day. But hey, it's a start; and I imagine I'll get some ideas and gather some inspiration for writing a few posts too.

I have always been an information hoarder. You should have seen my wedding idea stash. Do you remember Monica's wedding binder from Friends? Well, mine was bigger and more detailed than hers.

I used to keep printed information on all kinds of things. I love reference books and have such books on Shakespeare, Birds of North America, quotes from women, quotes from lawyers, history of the courts, historical courthouses, an old atlas, numerous dictionaries of various types, gardening books, cookbooks, books on London and Paris and Mount Vernon and all kinds of maps, including one of Boise, ID, oddly enough. {Well, you never know….I might need it again sometime…we have been to Boise…14 years ago…and did use this laminated map.}

Of course, one does not need such printed material anymore. It's all at one's fingertips…and can be bookmarked for later uses. And still, I hang on to my books and maps.

There is still something glorious about using an actual map and flipping back to an index to look up an actual page in an actual book. So, I keep these printed materials.

And I'll continue to bookmark my virtual pages, as if I'm folding the corner of the page in my book so it will be waiting for me to return and take up where I last left off.

I am a collector of information. Information empowers me. Information keeps marching forward. Information gives me ideas. Information restores me.

Do you crave information? Do you store it away in your head, on bookshelves, in a virtual file cabinet? What do you do with your information? Over and out…

Anna

Related articles

On Aging {and Reading Glasses}

5 Things You Should Know {Current Events}

Who Are You?....Really…{Psychology in a Quiz)

What type of person are you? What city should you live in? What kind of animal spirit are you? Are you a true child of the 80's? Which super hero are you? Which queen of comedy are you? Are you right brained or left brained or balanced? What color are you? Which Frozen character are you? Which Hogwarts professor are you? Which House of Cards character are you? Which Disney princess are you? Which Star Wars character are you? What type of sandwich are you? Which state are you really from? Which Friends character are you? How many children should you have? What planet are you? What type of career should you have? What type of emoji are you? What grade are you getting in life?

Wait? What? You…Don't…Know? How can you possibly get through each day?

Well, if you're on Facebook at all, you know what I'm talking about. These quizzes have been making their rounds on the social media circuit as of late. The website buzzfeed is behind these personality quizzes that tell us something or nothing or everything about ourselves.

But why are we intrigued by them? Why do we keep sharing them and posting our results?

Well, I'm no psychologist, and I don't know how the answers are configured, but I'm certain these quizzes will not answer any deep, dark questions of life or offer an answer about which path to take. And I doubt anyone is taking these quizzes too seriously. I've taken some of these quizzes just for the fun of it; often the explanation makes sense and affirms something about me; sometimes it's just funny or completely off, but why do we feel inclined to keep clicking on them?

My theory: We like to answer things about ourselves and get our "fortunes" at the end. We like for things to be about us. We like to have affirmations of our strengths and dreams and attitudes. It's the same reason we always read our horoscopes at the end of magazine or in the newspaper; we like to know about ourselves and get a glimpse of the future and maybe, just maybe some of it might be true.

For the record: I'm a boss; I should live in Monaco; I'm an Eagle (I think); I am a true child of the 80's; I am Captain Planet; I am Maya Rudolph; I use both sides of my brain equally; I am yellow; I am Elsa (hmmm, not Anna, after all); I am Professor Snape. I am Remy; I am Princess Aurora; I am Yoda; it turns out I'm a soggy veggie wrap; I'm really from Texas (go figure); I am Monica; apparently I should have 3 children (NOT A CHANCE). Oh, and I made up the one about the planet, but it turns out there is such a quiz, and I am Earth- how about that? I'm a humanitarian and should be a judge. I'm a sarcastic side-eye. I'm getting an A- in life.

Maybe my theory is wrong, but does it really matter? These quizzes are mini time wasters that give us a laugh or affirm our attributes. There's no harm done. Enjoy.

One note: oddly enough, I should have married a pizza. Who knew?

I should also note that Ellen DeGeneres took the Queen of Comedy Quiz, one end result is Ellen, herself, but instead Ellen got Chelsea Handler. And when Ellen had Chelsea on the show and Chelsea took this quiz she got Tina Fey. So, you be the judge of the accuracy. Over and out…

Anna

Related articles

Motherly Advice {The Importance of Adventuring}

Sleeping with the Enemy {Kids and PJs}

Everything is AWESOME {Sort of}

I want to write. I want to be relevant and heard and make an impact and resonate with my readers. But I don't think I am.

When I started doing this writing online thing I had no idea all the thoughts and feelings and secrets I would share with my readers. Four years ago, I had no idea the emotional toll this would take on me or how it would drive me to keep delving deep inside and stringing words together.

I have had some limited success landing some writing jobs, a few speaking gigs,  some panel appearances and my readership continues to increase, but not enough for the "pros" to say I have broken through. 

Of course, if I followed the advice of the "pros" I would have quit writing and posting a long time ago. Fortunately or unfortunately, as the case may be, I'm kind of a stubborn ass and I don't quit something I believe in and love just because I am failing miserably.

I say I am failing because my growth has been incremental in comparison to other successful blogs; the readers rarely comment or respond to my words and I make absolutely no money from my endeavors. It's a pretty pitiful picture, isn't it?

So, why don't I just abandon the site and cut my losses and watch some TV, clean my house more often and get through the stack of books and magazines occupying my nightstand instead of toiling away into the night writing immaterial, mediocre articles that are read by some, but quickly forgotten?

Well, it's complicated. I have often held counsel with myself to discuss this very point.

I have not quit because I like my writing {but I realize I might be alone in this}. I think I add something to the conversation. I think that sometimes I say things that others dare not agree with or speak up about. I think that perhaps I can reach someone in a similar situation as I have found myself in or touch someone's soul or offer hope to someone who may think she or he is alone, but is not. I think that sometimes I inform or bring together or offer food for thought or maybe make someone laugh or cry or both.

And yet, other times I think that I am a fool; a fool for thinking I can write or offer anything to anyone or make any kind of difference. Sometimes, I think I am a fool for exposing my thoughts and emotions and ideas for nothing in return.

While I am excited to have made it through four years of authoring this blog, I'm not sure whether I'm the winner or the loser in this scenario.

I have taken many risks with this blog and my writing over the past four years. I have not been afraid to take on the minority view or share my thoughts on controversial issues or strip away all and bare my heart and soul. I have been truthful and always written from my heart. And I am proud of those things.

I begin Year 5 with some trepidation, as always, as I try to figure out "my why." And yet, that is not entirely accurate. I know my why. I write because I have something to say.

So, really, what I am always trying to decipher is whether anyone cares about what I have to say; does it matter; does it have an impact on anything or anyone?

In the last 1460 days, I have published 785 posts, that's a lot of words. With each new year, the material changes and with it the style and ease of writing. Hopefully, that is a good thing for my readers.

I continue to struggle with how to reach my readers and get them to engage with me. This is not something I do well.

I live much of my life inside my head, working from home, with few friends or social engagements, which perhaps explains my inability to truly reach my readers, as other writers do, despite pouring out my heart and soul.

So, Year 5 I want to simply Be Amazing {as my sweater indicates}. I want to continue to like what I write. I want to continue to work on my book {because I have a story to tell}. I want to continue to share my heart. And I want to be OK with whether anyone else cares or not.

It is my plan to just go along belting out that "Everything is Awesome!" and believe it…because it can be. And maybe one day, maybe even one day in Year 5, my words will really resonate with readers.

I am so appreciative to the number of faithful readers who do open up each post and read week after week and who do like posts and make comments and having been doing so over the past 1460 days. Thank you! Over and out…

Anna

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A Soul's Mate

Quitter v. Navigational Genius {Which one are you?}

5 Thing You Should Know {in a Culture That Tends to Overshare, Go on Tirades and Judge Each Other}

People are downright ugly to each other lately. It's a trend that I am not on board with. I love discussions. I look forward to a good argument. But I will NOT name call or curse or be cruel. And I don't think anyone else should either.

I rarely read comments following articles, especially articles that could strike a hostile chord in some, but when I do, I am absolutely appalled at the rudeness and crudeness of many. Even following relatively benign posts on Facebook, I have found shockingly ugly comments hurled at other commenters or at the author of the original statement.

This practice upsets me and gives me pause when I think about our culture that fears nothing, posts everything and thinks they can get away with it all. Not surprisingly, people have begun to pursue legal action over comments, even anonymous ones, and are winning on claims of defamation.

While that is another story for another time, today I'd like to share some simple ideas about pleasant online discussions.

1. Some people like cats….some don't. Not everyone agrees with you all the time. Don't assume all your friends are on the same page politically, religiously, financially or on pets, parenting, the environment, football teams, seasons, fashion, nutrition or humor…..or anything else.
2. Not everyone has to like cats. We can agree to disagree and still be friends. Don't cut ties with friends who have other ideas about things. You can politely engage in an open discourse of various opinions, but leave the conversation if it gets heated. What's the point? You aren't going to change your friend's mind, but you may lose a friend or two in the process.
3. Be Polite to the Crazy Cat Lady. Use the manners your mama taught you. If you wouldn't say it to someone face-to-face, don't say it online. And if you can't say anything nice; don't say anything at all. It's that simple!
4. Don't Trust the Cheshire Cat. Not everything you see online is true. Much of that which is shared over and over and over just isn't true. Really! So, don't fall victim to believing or sharing information that is entirely rhetoric in favor of a particular position or is merely made up nonsense. Be smart. Do your own research and come to your own conclusions.
5. What's the Reason for the Subtitle Examples using Cats? No reason at all. It just came to mind. It's perfectly fine to report about a wonderful lunch with friends or a disappointing day at work or a triumphant workout or a parent fail or funny or about the soup recipe you are trying for dinner or about your fabulous new boots. It doesn't have to matter or make sense to everyone in your feed or on your friend list….just like the cat subtitles. Your friends will care what you have to say, regardless of what it is. After all, it's our new way of connecting and having conversations and building relationships with friends near and far. So, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And you never know what conversations you might have over dark chocolate v. milk chocolate chips or stripes v. patterned tights with brown boots or the type of medication to best treat an upset tummy. It all matters and none of it matters…to someone.

So, please think before you post. Edit when you need to. Delete, if necessary. But do speak your mind and assert your ideas; there is always a polite way of saying it. Over and out…

Anna

Dick…..Not just the Name of a Sporting Goods Store {They know more than you think}

Double Meanings

One day last spring while running errands in the car, my son asked, "Is dick a bad word?" I asked him, "Why do you ask?" He told me that there had been a discussion at school and one boy had said it was a bad word and my son had told him, "No it's not. It's the name of a store…Dick's Sporting Goods."

We don't mince words; we tell the truth with our kids. So, I explained the different meanings of the word. And told him not to use it in the one sense. Secretly, I was glad that he had been the innocent and naïve one in this situation.

I'm glad he felt like he could bring this to me and ask me about it. I wasn't surprised that he felt comfortable bringing it up with me, but I was surprised that this had happened in first grade.

And now, in second grade, I hear my son and his friends talking about who has a crush on whom. I had lunch with my son on Friday and the girl who sat next to me told me she has 4 boyfriends. Now, do they know what these things mean and are they acting on any of it; I doubt it…at least I hope not. Even still, I find it mind-boggling that all this happens at such a young age.

Underage Viewers

But then, I read an article written by a British editor/film maker who was shocked to find in his research that studies are showing that kids are being exposed to pornography as young as 10 years old. My son is 7 that's just 3 years older than he is now. This article and these studies were all based on data from Great Britain, but I'd imagine the numbers aren't too much different here in the good ol' U.S.A.

What was even more shocking is the knowledge these pre-teen and teenage students involved in one of the studies possessed on the subject of pornographic sex and the ease with which they discussed the matter. The kids reported sharing links on Facebook and through texts and emails. They said their parents trusted them online and had no idea they were accessing such material; consequently, there were little to no safeguards in place on their computers, tablets or phones.

The information is quite troubling when you think about our non-stop plugged-in generation of kids who are always "on" whether it's a phone, tablet, computer or gaming system. We trust that they won't wander into some dark, seedy online avenue; we believe they will be safe communicating with friends or listening to music, playing games, doing homework, accessing TV and movie programming, but we are wrong.

They often know more and are capable of more when it comes to technology; more than we think they know and sometimes more than we know. After all, this is how their generation lives; plugged in.

Free for All

Here's an example of what can happen when you don't have parental safeguards in place and you mistakenly believe they don't know their way around the internet.

This summer, my boys and I took an almost 3 week driving trip to Texas and back. I was armed with two tablets for the long days of driving; one was ours and one was my mom's. Ours, of course, had passwords galore; some for getting in and out of profiles, another for getting online and still another for buying and downloading more games. My mom's had a handful of games, downloaded by my husband before our trip began, but as I later realized, there were no passwords set on this tablet.

Often, it was my 4 year-old who played on my mom's tablet. Periodically, I would hear the boys discussing various games. Some sounded familiar, others didn't. I would ask them about these that didn't ring a bell. But I was driving; I didn't see the games they were playing.

On the way home, after 2.5 weeks of traveling and visiting and passing the time on the tablets, I heard the shrieks of a woman coming from my mom's tablet. I asked my 4 year old what he was playing. He told me it was some game that you try to kill the lady. WAIT! WHAT? I went into panic mode.

I was stuck in traffic and not able to pull over to check the tablet. I told him to stop playing that immediately and NEVER go to that game again. I began asking about the other games they had downloaded for "free" and found out there was a hunting game and an army game that sounded unacceptable, as well. I gave strict orders to play only what Daddy had put on the tablet.

I talked to my husband on the phone and told him my concerns. How on earth did he find these games? How many had he downloaded and had they all really been free, as my 4 year-old thought?

Parental Fail

Well, it turns out he had downloaded quite a few games; many of them not age appropriate. And they were NOT free. We ended up having to pay my mom over $50 for all the games that he downloaded in that 2.5 weeks; many of which we deleted from the tablet due to content. Fortunately, he had not actually played most of these games.

I had not realized there were no passwords in place; I had not known that he would have access to finding other games and downloading them; I had been naïve. My 4 year-old was more tech savvy than I had been. He could have stumbled into sexually graphic materials. He didn't, but he did find violent, inappropriate material.

We, as parents, cannot let down our guards. We must do everything we can to keep our kids safe while online.

Porn on the Brain

One interesting point in the British article was the neurological study conducted regarding how the brain reacts to pornographic images. The results were astounding, even to scientist running the experiment. For some, those who were self-described porn addicts, the brain reacted to the pornographic images as a drug addict or alcoholic would react to narcotics or alcohol being introduced into the body.

Another interesting factor is that the particular part of the brain that responds to addictive behavior is not fully mature or completely developed until a person is in his or her mid-twenties. If our children, and it was particular risky for boys, are watching pornographic sex and viewing pornographic images from the time they are twelve, or perhaps, younger, or even a few years older, by the time they are in their mid-twenties, these images could have affected their brains, much as drugs or alcohol does.

And that's just part of it. These kids are learning about sex through porn; it's rough, violent, dirty, ugly and cheap. This is not OK.

The Scoop

We must be proactive. We must not wait until we stumble upon these images and links on the family computer or their own phones. We must talk to our kids about these issues; the online safety factor, but also about the sex part too.

The internet is a great place to search for information, but you don't want your kids to learn about the birds and bees through Wikipedia or worse….much, much worse.

Read the article. Your jaw will drop….probably more than once. And then, go check all of your tech devices connected to the internet and be sure there are passwords in place. Additionally, if you have pre-teen/teenagers, do you have passwords/access to their social media accounts and emails? Can you see their text messages? Do you have boundaries and expectations set? Have you talked about the online risks with your child? Have you talked to them about sex? Remember, kids as young as 10, are being exposed to online porn. You may need to talk your child earlier than you had planned.

This is a battle that we can win, but it's up to us, the parents, to be ever vigilant when it comes to protecting our kids. Over and out….

Anna

Plugged In {A False Sense of Urgency}

I check my phone when I get up. I open up my computer soon after that. I usually have at least 5 tabs open online at all times. I monitor email from three accounts, texts, Facebook notifications and messages and Twitter notifications and messages. I run several businesses and connect socially and read news. I stay connected.

Most of the time I like being connected; staying in touch; being accessible. Sometimes I need it to stop.

In this world of always being plugged in, tuned in and completely distracted all of the time, it's hard not to feel a sense of urgency….every minute of the day….every day of the week.

Even when on vacation (which is rare) or late at night or at dinner time or bed time or during family time or me time or any time, it's hard to tell everyone "I'm simply not available. I will get back to you soon" and just turn it all off.

We have created a culture that is never more than a fingertip away from a quick response. What a great way to connect and reply and inform and be informed. Except this connection sometimes feels like a burden.

If everyone always knows that you surely will see the text or message or email or voicemail there is a feeling of urgency. It will just take a second to tap out a quick response. It won't distract from your current undertaking.

Except that it is never just one tiny interruption.

We allow the "convenience" of technology to rule our lives. We allow ourselves to be duped by the idea that electronic interruptions won't detract from our being present in the moment with our families and friends. We allow ourselves to believe that we are being efficient and aiding others by immediately responding.

I am as guilty of this as anyone else. Alas, I am also guilty of sending communications to someone at night, on a weekend, when I know they are busy with family duties or otherwise occupied and anxiously awaiting a response; thinking surely he or she saw this text/message/email/voicemail and could quickly and easily respond….

Everyone and everything moves faster these days. Need a reminder of this? Just watch a movie from the 1980s and notice how slowly the plot unfolds and how deliberate each line is delivered and gauge your own antsy pants and how you want to check your phone for messages and the time and how you think to yourself, "I don't remember this movie moving so slowly."

I do so appreciate our speed in communications. I need it for my business. It's how I stay connected to friends and family. It keeps my life humming along.

But what I must remember is that I am in control of these electronic devices. I can decide when I will respond to their beeps and hums and vibrations. I will not feel a sense of urgency when I am "off" the clock.

I will look up and see the vibrantly colored leaves. I will watch my kids play at the park. I will listen to my husband's stories from the day. I will allow my brain to be uncluttered and sit quietly and patiently in that solitude. I will stick to my work schedule and that includes communications coming to me through my phone. I will enjoy the view. I will not feel that sense of urgency every minute of every day.

How about you? Over and out…

Anna

Sharing is Right, Except When it’s Lies.... {Ferreting Out the “Rats”}

Being Lead Astray

If you see it on Facebook it must be true, right? I mean no one would spread false or misleading or misattributed information on the Internet, and certainly not on Facebook. Those people are my friends, right?

Don't bet on it. Uh, I mean the truth part, not the friend part.

I've noticed a disturbing trend on Facebook of information being recklessly passed from friend to friend at lightning speed without regard to truth or accuracy. If it hits a nerve, is witty or cute or grabs your attention, it gets shared on Facebook. If it has a political implication or is satirical or jaw-dropping, you can bet this information being shared.

Perhaps I'm more skeptical or question more than the average Joe, but I tend to read the quotes and information, and then check it for sources online.

Generally, if it smells like rat and looks like a rat, by Jove, it's a rat. And I have yet to find one that isn't incorrect or misattributed that gave off such an odor.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about:

Say What?

Picture a distinguished painting of George Washington, our 1^st President and across the image this quote:

"A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which include their own government. ~George Washington"

A few weeks ago, this quote with varying images of George Washington was repeatedly posted/shared on Facebook. It didn't bode well with me. So, I copied it and went in search of the truth.

Here's what I found:

According to Wikipedia, Washington actually said this at the First Annual Address to both Houses of Congress in January of 1790.

"A free people ought not only to be armed, but disciplined; to which end a uniform and well-digested plan is requisite; and their safety and interest require that they should promote such manufactories as tend to render them independent of others for essential, particularly military, supplies. ~ George Washington"

The highly circulated {mis}quote is categorized as a "spurious attribution" on Wikipedia. That is to say that it's not only misattributed to Washington, but no one else said it either. In fact, it's the product of someone {clearly a gun-rights enthusiast, in this case} taking part of a real quote and fabricating the rest to support his or her particular interest.

Snake Oil

This week I saw one on WD-40 that caught my eye. It was interesting; explaining how WD-40 got its name and how it was created and all the ways you could use it. The very end revealed the main ingredient in this lubricant was surprisingly fish oil.

Well, I thought this smelled a little "fishy" {Forgive me; it was too easy} so I looked it up.

According to Snopes.com this bit has been circulating since 2006. Snopes reports that they asked the makers of WD-40 about the extensive list of uses. The manufacturer removed a number of the purported 45 uses outlined in the bogus email/post.

And as for the fish oil, it's a rumor. While there is no ingredient list on the can, there is an MSDA sheet which indicates that WD-40 is petroleum based.

The Scoop

So, next time you spy something on Facebook being shared by your friends, check it out first. You might be spreading gossip. Or worse you could be libeling someone or infringing on someone's copyright.

The moral of the story:

Before you share, think to yourself,

1. Does this smell like rat?
2. Does it look like a rat?

If the answers to these questions are "Yes" or "My opinion is too jaded to know" then do a quick search and see if it is truly a rat. The "interwebs" won't lead you astray {well, if you use good judgment}, even when your friends do. Over and out...

*It would stand to reason that the photo above would be George Washington since I discussed him above, right? But, did anyone notice that I was leading you astray? It's not George, it's John Adams. I happended to have a book on him, but couldn't find a photo of Washington in my home. I figured that it could prove my point about leading astray.

Anna

Random Tidbits: Completely Unrelated, Useful/Interesting/Semi-Important/You Fill-in-the-Blank Information

You know when you're driving along and your kid pipes up and says something like, "Mom, whatever happened to that stick that I picked up last summer when we were walking around that lake?" and then a few minutes later says, "For my next birthday {which is something like 8 months away, generally}, can I have a birthday cake that has Transformers, Mickey Mouse and Word Girl on it?" And the whole time you're thinking I have no idea and where are these random thoughts coming from.

Well, that's what this post is like.

I've had very few minutes to write lately, but I have a number of random tidbits knocking around in my head. It happens frequently that I have a random thought, save a clipping or jot down an idea that doesn't warrant an entire post, but is still worth mentioning. Sometimes I let them linger until I might have enough to weave the tidbits into something more, but often they simply unravel and these loose ends rot away tucked in a file or pasted on a "sticky note" on my computer desktop or randomly written in a notebook.

So, I decided I'd piece together a quick, unconnected run-down of these various bits of information; some tips, some interesting points, some important notes, some simple observations.

1. Tightening the Belt. For a while I had an internal struggle with trying to figure out whether the strap should be locked or left loose or did it even matter. Booster seats. There's just not the plethora of information about these "tween" seats; that is, "in between" 5 point harnesses and a seat belt without a special seat. I know some parents just leave it loose. I always tighten the seat belt strap.
   1. For one thing, Darling 2 is apt to fall asleep in a moving vehicle and slump forward or sideways. If the belt is loose, he could slip right out of the seat or be injured if the belt snapped tight in an accident or sudden stop.
   2. I dug around online and surprisingly didn't find any definitive answers. So, I asked a resident expert; whom I happened to run into at my Caribou Coffee. She said either way is fine. If you have a sleeper or wiggler then it's best to lock the belt. But if your child is older and is not prone to moving around and getting out of the belt, then loose is fine.
   3. So, there you have it. I still tighten out of habit and because Darling 2 still likes to fall asleep in the car, but Darling 1 likes to remind me that he doesn't have to be locked in now that we know the answer to this question.
2. Mythbusters – Distracted Driving. Do you know about Mythbusters? It's a fun program that we found on Netflix over Winter Break. They take various statements or "facts" and put them to the test. On one program they ran their own test to see whether talking on the phone while driving is as dangerous as driving drunk, as some studies have reported.
   1. Now they weren't legally drunk, but they were as close to it as possible; with police officers overseeing the experiment.
   2. And they weren't recklessly driving around on the roads with other drivers. They were on a driving course with an instructor.
   3. But the tests and testers were serious and the drivers were blown away by how difficult it was to stay on task and not break laws by missing signs, weaving, etc. while talking on the phone and after a few drinks.
   4. Their conclusion was that it is not a myth. Texting/talking on the phone is just as dangerous as driving drunk (or almost drunk), and they did indeed feel out of control {and it's rare that they don't bust the myth}. There you have it. So, Phone Down; Eyes Up! {TAKE MY CHALLENGE!}
3. Teachers Packing Heat. Some teachers may have decided to take matters into their own hands when it comes to "securing" their classrooms.
   1. In the weeks following the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting, according to MotherJones.com, about 600 teachers in some 15 states have signed up for a free firearms training program offered by Buckeye Firearms Association.
   2. MotherJones.com noted that there are only three states in the U.S. that allow concealed weapons in schools: Utah, Kansas and Mississippi.
   3. Now, 600 is a very tiny percentage of the number of teachers in our country, but it's an interesting note.
   4. I'd be curious to know which 15 states those teachers come from; and how many of those 600 are male and how many are female.
   5. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want my kids' teachers packing heat in class.
   6. And on a lighter note, I just pictured Darling 1's amazingly patient, kind and loving kindergarten teacher from last year, with a gun strapped to her hip; now that puts class rules in a very different light.
4. Boo Indeed! Sometimes you miss the ugly, prickly weed when looking for the "Green."
   1. I found a write up for a product called, Bambooee, in MN Parent under Hot Stuff/Go Green. It says this about the products on this page, "Ta-ta, toxins! These products eschew chemicals and/or promote reuse!"
   2. So, the Bambooee is apparently an earth-friendly, sustainable, reusable paper towel. The packaging in the photo says, "Reusable Washable Bleachable." BLEACHABLE? Earth-friendly? No Chemicals? Hmmmm.
   3. Sorry, but why would someone who is choosing to use this product; to be earth friendly, with sustainable, organic products want to or choose to use bleach on this natural, organic, sustainable product?
   4. Bleach is a toxic, harmful chemical, and if you introduce it to your natural, organic, sustainable, bamboo towel, then you're missing the point. I have a better product for you anyway...talk to me {cough, Norwex, cough}
5. Check Your Sources. OK, I am going to expand on this one in another post, but this issue warrants a quick mention here too.
   1. Please check the accuracy and the source of the information you post, Like and share on social media sites. I have noticed an increase in false information and misattributed, made up quotes zipping around on Facebook lately. It's a good rule of thumb to do a quick search to ensure that you are passing good and true information, before you click it out to your hundreds of friends and/or fans.
6. Loose Lips Sink Ships. And along those same lines, not every conversation or thought or situation should be retold or discussed or mentioned on social media sites.
   1. Some things should be left to the imagination; some things should remain confidential; and sometimes "it just wouldn't be prudent" to post every last detail.
   2. So, let your gut instinct be your gauge, but if your gut tells you everything is fair game; then, let's say,
      1. if it's about someone else, especially if you are in any way related or work together;
      2. if it's not nice or puts that person in a bad light;
      3. if there is a contract of any kind involved;
      4. if it sounds like it could be from a red neck reality show
   3. don't post it at all. Instead, call your mom, your spouse, your sibling or best friend and get it off your chest by sharing it with one person rather the 348 of your closest FB friends.

Over and out....

Anna

 

Related articles

God is with Us {Always and Everywhere}

Some Kids Will; Some Won’t {Be Patient}

Some kids will always win the foot races at recess; some kids will be able to dangle from the bars on the playground, criss-crossing, frontwards, backwards, sideways, upside down and right side up.

Some kids will always have a neat desk, keep their papers in a straight stack and have clean and even fingernails.

Some kids will keep their focus on the teacher, on the task at hand and follow the directions to a T; some kids will never push limits or question authority.

Some kids will do these things, but some won't.

Some kids will never run out of questions; some kids will create, design, formulate, doodle and sketch; some kids will daydream, fail to focus on the lesson and almost never follow all the directions, making up their own directions as they go.

Some kids will have a single focus; some kids will have ever-changing obsessions; some kids will have a handful of enduring passions.

Some kids will frustrate, perplex and even irritate their teachers in their individuality, their strong-willed determination to refuse to march to the beat of the masses.

Some kids will not always be understood by teachers and peers; some kids will always be swimming against the current trying to satisfy their curiosity and sense of adventure and their need to fit in and make it through life.

These kids will be game changers; these kids will strive to improve, cure, alter, overhaul, present us with new frontiers, entertain us in new ways and make us ask more questions and seek further than before and their ideas won't ever stop...unless our conforming society squashes the life out of these young inventors and innovators before they have a chance.

To all the teachers who might not see things in this light, I would ask you to be patient; all the basic, rote learning will come with time; for some kids the order of the letters in the alphabet is not important {and it really isn't if you think about it}; let your curiosity be peaked, you just might be witnessing the development of the next Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Marie Curie, Mark Zuckerberg, Lady Gaga or William Shakespeare; and forgive them if their lack of focus in the classroom and their penchant for making up their own rules when it comes to assignments and projects. They are just being true to themselves. Be Patient.

This is something I often have to remind myself of when I find interesting contraptions taped to my walls, come across strange mixtures frozen in cups in my freezer and must continually come up with places to store bits of this and that, screws and parts from machines and circuits and batteries that will eventually be a part of a small robot being imagined, designed and built by my Darlings and discover my dining table and the surrounding floor covered in paper, stickers, pens, pencils, markers, glitter glue and pencil sharpener shavings after a book writing and illustrating blitz. Be Patient.

And when I'm in a hurry and already experiencing sensory overload and they are full of queries with answers that require deep thought, advanced degrees, a few Google sessions and some honest "I just don't know, honey" answers; when they make tremendous observations and musings; and they aren't focused on the task at hand which happens to be jumping in and out of the car, running in and out of stores and staying on task! Be Patient.

Be Patient. Over and out...

Anna

Loss of Status: The Day Social Media Stopped Talking...to Me {A Bit of a Soapbox}

Social Media is a fickle bitch.

When I first started out, it took me a while to really get the hang of it. Then, after spending hours and hours chatting up perfect strangers on Twitter and reconnecting with people on Facebook, I finally got it.

People responded to me; answered questions, agreed, disagreed and chit chatted about nothing in particular and very particular topics. I felt a part of it all; on the inside.

I made friends with people in the Twin Cities, in NY, in CA, NV, TX, TN and more. Some of those people I have since met face to face and had live conversations with. Some of these people are good friends, even now after two years. Others have faded away with time and absence of true connections.

There was a period of time a few months ago that I was busy with editing work, and a new business and bogged down with stresses of life under pressure that my online communications slowed to a trickle. I just didn't have it in me to have a continually running conversation on multiple accounts during that time.

After several consecutive weeks of low social media usage, I went back online for conversation, comments, interaction; all the things it had meant to me for so long. And a funny thing happened. I talked, but few listened and even fewer responded to me.

Had I lost it? Had a cut ties? Could I get it back?    

Well, perhaps I could if I sat for hours on end making new connections and re-connecting with those I had once counted as a buddy.

But I don't have the time or the energy for such sport. So, what does that leave me? The devoted readers and true friends who still respond; still agree and disagree, regardless of my absence and despite my spotty social media record as of late. And I'm alright with this.

I have found that my feelings about social media change depending on my mood, what's going on in my life, whether my interactions with people are positive or negative and so on. But the thing that remains constant is that I am just not one to share all information to all people in all circumstances; that's just not me. Some feel that they can share everything all the time; and that's fine for them.

And yet, people like me, who pick and choose information to share with the masses and who pop on and off the social media train, making lingering stops and then starting back again a few days later or weeks or months will pay the price. You can't expect your online audience to remain ever vigilant watching and waiting for you to appear and make a statement so that they can respond to you. It simply doesn't work that way.

The online community has a continual running conservation that never stops, not for work or play or birthdays or low times or high times. It just keeps speeding along on the information super highway.

But, I have noticed a difference in the last 6 months or so though. It seems that fewer and fewer people are truly communicating with each other. It seems that there is more and more information posting, like a bulletin board, rather than a conversation. Perhaps it's just me, the people I follow or the times that I'm online; or maybe it's a shift in priorities and habits. Over and out...

Anna

Modern House Call: A Virtual Visit to the Doctor

Medical History

I have a history of allergies; allergies to dust, mold, pollen, etc. I can't really remove these things from my life; unless I went to live in a bubble. And sometimes a quiet, clean, allergen free bubble sounds pretty good, especially at this time of year.

Historically, April is a rough month for me. Here in MN, the temps are up and down; then it's wet; and then it's dry; then it's windy, and on and on. All of these weather conditions make for a sneezy, snotty, achy, fuzzy, bleary-eyed me.

I really hate to go to the doctor's office, but I've had enough sinus infections in my time to know when it's time to get the big guns to fight this pressurized invasion in my head. Part of the issue is that I can never get into to see "my" doctor. In fact, I haven't seen "my" doctor since 2006. Instead, I've seen others in her clinic or gone to urgent care clinics covered by my insurance for a quick exam and prescription.

Virtual Office Visit    

Well, a month or so ago, while listening to music on Pandora I heard an ad for a virtual medical clinic. I was only vaguely tuned in since I don't really listen to advertisements, but I did wonder about it and made a mental note to look it up sometime.

Then, just a few weeks ago, a friend was explaining how she had been sick right before leaving on a business trip. She didn't have time for a doctor visit, but thought she needed some antibiotics for a sinus infection. So, my friend went to the online medical clinic, answered a series of questions and got the prescription she needed to feel better.

So, last night as I sat blowing my nose, holding my head and feeling lousy from the pressure in my ears and sinus cavities as I have for the last week or so, I remembered this virtual clinic. And I decided I'd give it a try.

After answering a series of general health and medical history questions and specific questions regarding symptoms, completing forms for payment, insurance information and picking my preferred pharmacy, my file was submitted to a nurse practitioner.

Less than 30 minutes later, I received a text and email that my treatment plan was available at the site. My prescription had been sent to the pharmacy and she also suggested other treatments such as steam, saline sprays, etc for the pressure and pain in my head.

There was even a photo and name of the nurse practitioner helping me; complete with a get well soon note and instruction to call the number provided if I'm not better in 3 to 5 days. It was 11:30 on a Sunday night, and I had "been to the doctor" and was about to get started on antibiotics.

Online Medical Options

The service I used was Virtuwell by HealthPartners, a MN based not-for-profit HMO. Virtuwell currently serves residents of MN and WI, as well as those who are traveling in those states.

There is another similar service here in MN called Zipnosis. Zipnosis is a part of Fairview Medical Services. Both Virtuwell and Zipnosis were created with many patient safeguards in place, but they are constantly re-evaluating and making changes as necessary, meeting as often as once a week to discuss cases and issues that have arisen through the week; monitoring clinician and patient practices, etc.

For those in MN, here are a few comparisons:

• Virtuwell costs $40 per "visit" and accepts insurance, but you don't have to have insurance to use this system.
• Zipnosis $25 per "visit", but doesn't accept insurance.
• Both Virtuwell and Zipnosis are available 24 hours per day, 365 days a year
• Zipnosis serves MN residents only.
• Both have treatment plans, which may include antibiotics, to you within 30 minutes
• Both provide follow-up care/information if treatment plan doesn't work
• Virtuwell treats patients 2 years and up
• Zipnosis treats patients 13 years and up
• Both have limited services as to what types of maladies they will treat.
  • Anything other than routine infections and easily diagnosed and treated illnesses, will be referred to see a doctor immediately
• Both allow the patient to upload an image of his or her condition, if a visual is necessary. {For skin issues, etc.}
• Virtuwell is staffed by nurse practitioners
• Zipnosis is staffed by physician assistants

There are a few other websites that charge a yearly fee, plus a fee for each call or a flat fee per visit to connect to a doctor for a video or phone consultation and diagnosis for sick patients outside of MN and WI. If you aren't in MN, check out these online medical clinics:

• Ringadoc; and
• MD Live Care

The Scoop

These services save time, money and energy, allowing a person with or without insurance to get treated for common infections from any location whether work, home or in the middle of a hectic schedule at any time of day or night at an affordable flat fee.

There is also room for misdiagnosis and/or misuse of this virtual medical clinic model. Of course, there is always a chance of misdiagnosis and abuse of the system {someone trying to acquire prescriptions for the wrong reasons} should someone go to a clinic and physically see a doctor, as well.

I think that each person must use his or her 6^th sense about whether he or she is really ill with odd, inconsistent or serious symptoms and decide whether to go to their doctor, urgent care or an ER. If not, then this convenient, highly monitored system is probably a good idea for your run-of-the-mill, irritating infections. But I don't think I'll use it for my kids unless it's middle of the night, raging ear infection, etc.

Have you used these services? What's your take on them? Over and out...

Anna

 

 

A Pinterest{ing} Question: Is it Safe to Pin?

Failing to See the Forest for the Trees

A few weeks ago, we tried one of those do-it-yourself yogurt bars where you choose from 16 some odd flavors of yogurt and then pile on the toppings. You can go crazy or keep it modest. I let the boys choose their flavors and toppings with minimal help from me, allowing them to create their own unique treat. They actually kept it pretty respectable with a balance of fruit and candy.

On the way out the door, Darling 1 dropped his cup, spilling some of the kiwi fruit, gummy bears and brownie chunks out on the sidewalk. He panicked and began to go into hysterics, but I scooped it up and assured him that I had saved most of his delicious concoction. Once seated and chowing down on his frozen yogurt treat, he forgot about those lost gummy bears; and despite this small hiccup and near meltdown, he enjoyed his very distinctive "fro-yo" creation.

Sometimes we lack vision and can't see past a small stone in the path that we mistaken for a giant boulder. When that happens it takes insight from others to realize it's not really such a big deal.

Jumping the Gun

About a month ago, a woman wrote a post explaining her tearful decision to close her Pinterest account over fear of lawsuits regarding the photo links she "pinned" on this social media platform. After reading the Pinterest Terms of Use and considering copyright laws she basically panicked, pulled her boards down and spread her paranoid post across the blogosphere. I've been ruminating on this issue since reading the article. And finally, I have a chance to write about it.

For those who don't know, Pinterest is a relatively new social media platform where users can create virtual bulletin boards with different themes. Each time a user places a photo link on a board, it's called "a pin." Many websites have added buttons titled "Pin This" or other similar statements to encourage readers to post the link with a photo to their Pinterest boards.

I do have a Pinterest account, but I admit that I have barely used it and I'm certainly no expert on Pinterest, but my opinion is that this woman made a mountain out of a molehill. There are two issues to address: 1) Terms of Use; and 2) copyright laws. Neither of these issues are unique to Pinterest.

Terms of Use

The woman who sadly left Pinterest was apparently shocked to find that Pinterest claimed indemnity when it came to copyright issues, including attorney fees. Well, let me tell you that all online platforms who have covered all their bases, dotted every i and crossed every t is going to place all the blame squarely on your shoulders and leave your mess in your lap should you violate someone's copyright. And why shouldn't they?

After all, it's not Typepad's {my blog host} responsibility to make sure that I don't infringe on anyone's copyright, etc. They are merely the paid host of thousands of blogs. They are not the regulators of content, nor the owners of any of the content contained within each blog. Just as it is not Pinterest's obligation to ensure that everyone being pinned is alright with this. So, any legal actions, including any costs incurred, are the user's liability not the platform's problem.

This should not have been a shock to this woman. This is standard language in a Terms of Use policy. I would be shocked if the Terms of Use didn't contain these provisions. There's no reason to quit Pinterest because of this standard and fair language.

Copyrighted Material

As with any social media platform, all users should have at the very least a vague understanding of copyright laws in order to protect their own works and protect themselves from getting in trouble if using someone else's original work. I think, in general, misunderstandings about what constitutes copyrighted material and what is an infringement of such copyright abound in the world of social media.

It's actually quite easy to infringe on someone's copyrighted material if you're pinning content on Pinterest, posting photos that you didn't take or writing articles with liberal use of other's written words without permission from the copyright owner.

Here are a few of the basic concepts:

• What type of material is protected by copyright? {the short answer}
  • Copyright protects original works of authorship including literary, musicals. Dramatic and artistic works.
  • Copyright does not include ideas, systems, facts or methods of operation.
• What constitutes copyright infringement?
  • In general terms, a copyright is infringed when a person makes a derivative work, reproduces, performs, publicly displays or distributes copyrighted material without the permission from the copyright owner.
• What is fair use?
  • Fair use is a doctrine that allows for limited use of copyrighted materials without first acquiring permission from the copyright owner.
  • Under fair use, copyrighted material may be used for news reporting, criticism, commentary, educational uses, research and the like.
  • In determining whether fair use applies, a court will look at 4 factors;
    • Purpose and character of the use;
    • Nature of the original; material made for commercial use is less protected;
    • Amount and substance of original used; and
    • Effect that the use has had on the market of the original material.

Pinning without Permission

While "pinning" a photo that acts as a link to the original source, may or may not be considered copyright infringement {the courts haven't considered this specific issue yet}, most website owners are not going to be upset by this link. The pinning to a board in Pinterest will likely cause increased traffic to the original source's site, which for most will be considered a positive effect.

One exception might be photographers who are showcasing photos of clients or selling their art on their sites. These sites are often protected by passwords and/or have water marks on photos and provide language about the use of their photos.

However, should your "pin" not link the material to the original source, a problem could arise. And yet, most likely the first course of action will not be to file a lawsuit. Most of these issues can easily be corrected by contacting the person who is infringing on another's copyright and demand that the offending person take down copyrighted material immediately.

If that doesn't do the trick, a formal cease and desist letter would follow. And then, if there is still infringement or if there is a gross infringement or habitual infringement, a petition would most likely be filed in federal court.

The Scoop

Few with a heavy online presence haven't had to send a demand to take down a page or post or photo. It happens often, whether on purpose or in ignorance. I don't mean to say it isn't a big deal; it is. But it's usually something that can easily be dealt with without filing a lawsuit.

So, should you close up shop at Facebook, Twitter, your blog, Pinterest, et al? I don't think so. But I do think you should know what the Terms of Use that you have agreed to say and understand the basics of copyright law. When in doubt about whether what you're "taking" from another constitutes copyright infringement be sure to look it up; you can find anything online. Oh, and I'm fine with you "pinning" this on Pinterest, sharing it on Facebook or Retweeting it on Twitter Over and out....

Anna

The List: The Social Media Addict’s Christmas List

You might be a Social Media Junkie if you have any of these items in your or on your Wish List. If you don't understand what these gifts are or why anyone would want them, you aren't a key Social Media Player {sorry to break it to you}. Either way, if you or someone on your Christmas List is Social Media Consumed then you're going to want to check out this List. If for nothing else, it's worth a chuckle. I, for one, think these items are Fabulously Social Media Geeky Chic, which is the look I'm going for these days!

Check out these ultra cool finds: 

1. "Follow Me" Tights by tattoo socks. These cool tights come in several shades and lengths and each with the familiar tweeting bird and "Follow Me" request are good for a laugh and probably a few follows on Twitter too. The other tights on this site are really cute too {in case you haven't been bitten by the Social Media Bug}, but my heart belongs to Twitter.
2. Twitter Handle & Hashtag Jewelry by Survival of the Hippest and Blend Creations *See Discount Code Below. Find necklaces in several styles at these links. I like the SATC "Carrie" style the best, but it all depends on your style. Use @ plus handle or # plus handle, word or phrase at both sites. Hmmmm....let's see simply @MotherlyLaw or @Motherlylaw <3 @Will_OpenDoorSM, perhaps or maybe #PhoneDownEyesUp...
3. QR Code or Emoticon Cufflinks by Blend Creations. So debonair; so dashing; something every #SM gent should have. To me, the QR Code links offer a more sophisticated look. These tiny barcodes are actually encoded with a secret message of your choosing too. *See Discount Code Below
4. Social Media Icon Throw Pillows by Craftsquatch. I love these colorful decorative pillows. Whether outfitting your office, game room, bedroom or play room I would think that every Social Media Addict would have a room for these soft icons.
5. MiFi from Novatel Wireless. This handy gadget allows you to have a wireless internet connection anywhere you happen to be. In fact, you can connect up to 5 wireless enabled devices at one time, including cameras, computers, music players, game players, etc. It's small; it's safe; it's great for travel; working remotely, etc.
6. Tec Touch Gloves found at Dick's Sporting Goods and other locations. For those of us in the colder regions of the planet, these warm gloves allow for tweeting, phoning, texting, game playing and any other touch screen application necessary for smartphones and/or tablets. The special "pods" on the thumb and index finger of these gloves allow for easy operation of touch screen technology without taking glove off. Nice!
7. EatTweet, a Twitter Cookbook (in photo above) available locally at Kitchen in the Market or at eat-tweet.com. All recipes are in the form of tweets; that is, 140 characters or less and were originally tweeted out by the cookbook author, Maureen Evans who goes by @cookbook on Twitter. Very cool and a bit challenging; one must be careful not to get lost in the translation.

What's on your list?

*UPDATE: This just in...Blend Creations is offering Motherly Law readers 15% off orders of $50+ until 12/31. Use the promo code: MotherlyLaw (not case-sensitive); Crazy Cool!

I just had to get this posted even though I ran out of time on Sunday, cuz I like this stuff, but I will be posting a Recipe from my #VirtualCookieRecipeExchange later today. Over and out...

Anna

 

Mountains Out of Molehills: The Power of Overreacting Re: Social Media

The Right to Express an Opinion

I have always been of the opinion that respect is earned; it is not simply applied to someone based on age and experience. There are those whose opinions on this matter differ from mine. But it is my opinion that sometimes a person of little experience and only a decade or so of years on this earth may have more common sense and intellect than a person with a great many years of life under the belt.

I have also always valued my constitutional rights, especially freedom of speech. I like to express myself through speech; and I don't like to be held back when articulating my opinion, as is often made clear here on Motherly Law. Social media platforms, in general, afford many opportunities for using our freedom of speech in ways our founding fathers would have never dreamed of.

A person enjoys this right regardless of education, background, age or financial status. Of course, some of these rights are lessened or restricted when dealing with minors, particularly when dealing with students. And yet, students must not be muzzled or taught that they are not free to stand up for what they believe in or agree with and express their opinion.

While there is not a lawsuit involved in this instance, it does allow for an interesting case study.

@emmakate988

The week of Thanksgiving, Emma Sullivan, a senior in high school, and her classmates from Shawnee Mission East High School in Prairie Village, KS, visited the Kansas State Capitol. Apparently, while on the tour of the capitol, Sullivan tweeted to her 60 or so friends following her on Twitter this statement:

"Just made mean comments at gov brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot"

Sophisticated? No. Polite? No. Funny? Inappropriate? I guess it depends on your age and opinion of Gov. Brownback. Something to make a fuss over? Not in my opinion.

To be clear, Sullivan did not actually make any mean comments, in person, to Brownback, but Sullivan doesn't agree with some of Brownback's policies and was particularly disappointed by the recent cuts to state aid to schools.

After some of her friends were joking about what they would really like to say about Brownback, she took out her phone and sent this tweet. She says she merely wished to get a laugh from her friends on Twitter. That was it. She didn't think much about it.

The Overreaction

This statement would have been seen only by Sullivan's 60 followers on Twitter, if that many, if Brownback's Director of Communications, Sherienne Jones-Sontag, had not made a stink of it after running a routine search of Brownback's name on Twitter.

Instead, Jones-Sontag contacted Sullivan's principal and reported her tweet to him because it wasn't respectful. Based on this statement, I am assuming that if Sullivan had tweeted something along the lines of, "Wow, I am in awe of our amazing governor; what an honor it is to meet him" Jones-Sontag wouldn't have contacted the high school.

However, it wasn't and she did. Sullivan was then called into the principal's office and told to write an apology letter to the Gov. Brownback, the school's Youth in Government sponsor, the districts social studies coordinator and others. Sullivan reported to the Wichita Eagle that her principal had said it was embarrassing and that she had created a huge controversy.

Jones-Sontag felt that the tweet was inappropriate and thought the organizers of this school-sponsored state capitol visit should be aware of what was being said by a student in the group.

The school district spokesperson, Leigh Anne Neal, issued a statement to the Wichita Eagle explaining the school district's policy, in general, prior to being fully apprised of this incident,

"...students on school-sponsored field trips, in which they are representing the school, would be expected to conduct themselves in accordance with school district policies, including use of electronic devices. Students may express their personal beliefs, views and opinions, as long as they do so appropriately and in accordance with school policies."

Ironically, just a few days after this incident and the media coverage across the country, Sullivan had several thousand followers on Twitter. She now has almost 16,000 followers. So, is Sullivan one of these young, teen pundits spouting off about candidates and politics? No, not in the least. In fact, before this incident on November 21^st, Sullivan was like most teens, conversing with friends about teen topics, with a number of tweets regarding the new Twilight movie.

Playing Nice

And yet, even after all of this media attention and the 15,000 plus followers, Sullivan is still not using her voice simply for the sake of getting attention. She has tweeted only a few statements regarding this issue.

In another ironic twist, it was Gov. Brownback, not Sullivan, who issued the apology last Monday. Brownback stated that his staff had overreacted to this tweet and was sorry for that. Sullivan decided not to write the letters of apology and the school backed down from their demand that she do so because they felt that she had a constitutional right to express her opinion regarding the governor and did not break any rules.

The Scoop

According to the New York Daily News, Jones-Sontag had this gem of wisdom to offer, "It's also important for students to recognize the power of social media, how lasting it is. It is on the Internet."

Now, isn't that really a lesson for Jones-Sontag to learn? After all, if Jones-Sontag had simply left well-enough alone and never brought Sullivan's tweet to the attention of her principal and the school trip organizers, Sullivan would still have 60 followers on Twitter and neither the national media nor I would know the names Sherienne Jones-Sontag or Emma Sullivan.

So, yes, Sherienne, social media can be powerful and viral, if a statement is made by a celebrity of some sort or if an obscure tweet is brought to the attention of the country. In this case, Jones-Sontag's overreaction to an obscure 18 year-old girl's completely harmless tweet, ended up heaping negative attention on herself.

In the end, Sullivan and Brownback came out looking good. Sullivan stood her ground and won; and Brownback realized the overreaction and quickly put a stop to damaging his own name and reputation by issuing an apology. Fortunately, all legal action has been avoided in this account; and all ended well.

Except, that is, that students in Sullivan's school are now harassing and bullying her over this tweet and the ensuring media attention. She seems to again be standing her ground and taking it all in stride, saying in one tweet, "let's move on." Her original tweet that started this episode may not have been elegant, but Sullivan seems to have conducted herself very appropriately in handling this matter. Over and out...

Anna

Putting a Stop to Cyberbullying: National Bullying Prevention Month

"I don't like what you're doing, and I would like you to stop!"

That's what my Kindergartener came home telling us about what to say to a bully. More than likely that won't stop a bully, but it's a good place to start.

Bullying is about isolation, domination and soul crushing. A bully bullies because he or she has low self-esteem, hopes to gain popularity among his or her peers, is looking for attention, is acting out based on what is happening at home or simply because he or she can.

Sometimes the bully just needs love, understanding, attention and reassurances. This doesn't make the bullying right, but it does provide answers for the why. Sometimes the bully needs discipline, correction and guidance; and sometimes the bully is just flat out mean.

How to prevent and stop cyberbullying is the question. And, of course, in each situation the answer will be different. Regardless, here are a few sites with good information for educating yourself and your kids about cyberbullying:

Stop Cyberbullying

National Crime Prevention Council

Cyberbully 411

And that's all folks because I have to get up at the crack of dawn {for me} and help chaperone Darling 1's Kindergarten's first field trip. We're headed to the zoo to study living creatures. So, no late, late writing sessions for me tonight. Ahem... tomorrow is my birthday, and you won't want to miss that post! Over and out...

Anna

Standing Up for What’s Right: Cyberbullying Prevention Part II

Bullying is NOT OK

As I sat watching my own two Darlings scamper about at the indoor mall play area, I noticed a boy about 7 years old talking to another boy who was probably around 4 years old. The 4 year old looked distressed and the 7 year old kept running after him and getting in him face, saying something to him that I couldn't hear. I watched the two for a while and decided they were probably brothers.

I glanced at the parents sitting in the play area, trying to figure out who the kids belonged to. No one seemed to be paying any attention to them but me. The older boy seemed to be trying to get the younger boy to leave the play area, but then the older boy wouldn't give the younger boy his shoes.

Now, the younger boy was crying. Again, I looked around for a mom, dad, grandma or nanny to come to the younger boy's rescue. There was no one. I know how brothers act together, and after closer observation, I decided the boys were merely together; under the care of the same person, perhaps.

I got up and walked over to the older boy. I was beside him. I bent low to his ear and said, "Give the boy his shoes. It's not OK to bully." He looked at me for a moment as if trying to comprehend my words; as if no one had ever said anything like that to him before. He started to say something that sounded like an excuse. Again, I repeated, "Give the boy his shoe." He handed the boy his shoes; the younger boy put them on; and the two ran out of the play area to a store across the way.

No other parent in the play area even noticed this exchange. Darling 1 noticed though. I'm not one to keep my mouth shut when I see mistreatment of a child, an animal or another who appears to need my help. And my children know this. They have seen me do things like this before. I'm hopeful this lesson of standing up for the downtrodden, mistreated and bullied will resonate through them and spur them to act when they see a fellow student, friend or stranger in need of assistance.

Causes of Cyberbullying

Bullying occurs at all ages, starting from very young and continuing all through life. It's a part of life. Learning how to deal with bullies is important, although often bullying escalates to a degree that a parent, school administrator and/or law enforcement officers must be brought in to aid the situation.

The same is true of cyberbullying except that it usually doesn't start until the teen years. This is when kids are more likely to have less limited access to computers at home, schools and public libraries and perhaps even have his or her own cell phone with texting, Internet and photo capabilities.

This is the age that parents may be less vigilant and less controlling about what their kids are doing online and on their phones. Just as with physical and mental in-person bullying, there are many degrees of cyberbullying. In many instances the kids can either ignore it or deal with it themselves by simply calling out the bully or blocking the bully. In other instances, it's severe, on-going or escalating and parents, school administrators and/or law enforcement officers should be brought into the picture.

Why Pick on Someone

In most instances, the bully is a classmate or "friend" who uses email, social media platforms and/or text messages to spread rumors, issue threats or publicly humiliate a person. It can be baffling to the person being bullied. Anything, even seemingly trivial events or attributes, can bring about cyberbullying; a would-be bully may perceive a classmate as being too fat, too pretty, too smart, too skinny, too athletic, or having too many friends or stealing the bully's friends or stealing someone's boyfriend or girlfriend or having too many freckles or not enough money or too much money or not wearing the right clothes or wearing black or making the cheerleader squad or running for student council.

There is no end to the reasons why a kid might choose to pick on another kid. And teens can be very creative and irrational when it comes to their wrath. Some of the threats are no laughing matter at all. Some cyberbullies threaten death to the classmate and his or her family; or what may be seen as worse than death they threaten to {or do} disclose information that could destroy a teen's social standing or reputation, which is of vital importance to a teen.

Warning Signs

Kids may be reluctant to tell a parent or teacher because they are ashamed about the bullying or concerned about a parent or teacher finding out about the embarrassing and/or hurtful information shared by the bully. With this in mind, it's important to watch for signs that your child is enduring cyberbullying or is the cyberbully.

If you notice your child:

• changing his or her computer and/or phone habits;
• ignoring the phone or incoming texts;
• becoming withdrawn from the family, friends, school or life, in general;
• getting in trouble at school or acting out at home;
• performing poorly at school;
• acting nervous, upset, depressed or moodier than normal; and/or
• changing sleep patterns or suffering a loss of appetite

It's a good time to talk to your teen and check the computer and phone for signs of cyberbullying.

And if you notice your child

• shielding his or her computer screen from you;
• quickly changing/closing screens when you or others go near;
• urgently monitoring online accounts;
• using additional accounts for email and social media; and/or
• acting particularly elusive about his or her online/phone activities and/or contacts

it's also a good time to talk to your teen and check the computer and phone for signs that your child is the cyberbully.

The Scoop

Teens are excellent about hiding information from their parents. It may be difficult to know whether cyberbullying is an issue, but it could be critical to your child's physical and mental well-being to know for sure whether your child is a victim of cyberbullying. I'll discuss what to do if your child is experiencing cyberbullying in my next article this week. Over and out...

Anna

Times Have Changed: Cyberbullying Prevention Part I

The Dark Ages of the '80s & '90s

When I was a young teen there were no smart phones, no texting, no Internet, no wifi, no Facebook, no Twitter, no email, but we did have landlines. It sounds strange to think that we were once limited by the length of the cord on our phones.

My friends and I used our phones constantly. We called each other, and we called boys; sometimes we talked to them; sometimes we called on each other's behalf, which made it very difficult for the boy to ever figure out exactly who did like him; but mostly we hung up in fits of laughter, over and over again. And we could do this because Caller ID had not been invented yet. Ah, the freedoms of the dark ages.

We were limited in our methods of communications: we had a phone at home, pen and paper and we actually talked person to person too. There was no way to spread messages to the masses; for good or evil purposes. Cyberbullying had not been invented either.

It was a different time. Kids didn't have to worry that something they told a friend would be spread to the whole school in a matter of minutes. When I was a teen cameras still had film that had to be developed at a photo booth; there was no instant sharing of this or that. We still passed handwritten notes. I'm sure you remember these days too.

Tech Savvy Teens

Today is a different story. Kids as young as 10 have cell phones and most cell phones have texting capabilities and a camera. Many phones are smart phones that are connected to the Internet and in turn connected to Facebook, Twitter and other social media platforms. Sharing and spreading information for the good of the world or to take down a fellow student deemed "easy prey" is at a child's fingertips.

And kids take full advantage of this opportunity. Kids can be ruthless and compassionless; they can be brutal and relentless; they can push and push and push until the target feels utterly alone and begins to believe the things being said about him or her; and that's when it can become deadly. These cruel, heartless acts are called cyberbullying. October is National Bullying Prevention Month. So, it's a great time to talk about this issue, although really anytime is a good time to discuss how to stop bullying.

No one is immune. Cyberbullying is a team sport. It takes only one to start it, but teens If no one paid attention to rumors or laughed at the jokes being made about a fellow student or made comments online regarding these hateful statements or if a student stood up to the bully and sided with the one getting bullied, then cyberbullying would not make an impression on anyone. But it does.

Cyberbullying

But the truth is cyberbullying does hurt...a lot. The worst part is that there is no reprieve from it; cyberbullying happens at school; it happens at home; it happens on the bus; it happens at anytime and anywhere thanks to our constantly expanding technologies.

So, what exactly is cyberbullying? Cyberbullying is using technology to target another person through harassment, embarrassment, humiliation and/or threats. Cyberbullying may not cause physical injuries, but it can be even more devastating since the person being bullied may not know who the bully is, why the bully is focusing on him or her, and the bullying is often witnessed and shared by a large number of students.

Even if there is only one person behind a cyberbullying campaign against another, generally the bullying is perpetuated by other students sharing the comment or photo posted by the bully, forwarding emails started by the bully or by others merely viewing the photos or comments posted and not doing anything to stop this.

Cyberbullying can be very difficult to track and stop since it can be done remotely without the bully ever facing the target in person. It's a cowardly act to bully at all, but cyberbullying is the most cowardly.

Anti-Bullying Laws

While most states now have laws to prevent and/or punish bullying, most do not have provisions that cover cyberbullying. According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, only 8 states have laws that include the term cyberbullying. However, 34 states do have laws covering electronic harassment; check your state for specific terms and provisions. You can find your state anti-bullying law here.

For the most part, as mentioned in my article on anti-bullying laws last October, these laws are not very substantive. The majority of the laws consider bullying a school issue, and many state laws merely require school districts to develop an anti-bullying policy and discipline offending students.

Cyberbullying is more difficult to catch and enforce by the very nature of what cyberbullying is. School officials often don't see or even know about the cyberbullying going on since much of it takes place outside of school on personally owned devices; i.e. cell phones and computers.

The Scoop

Preventing and stopping cyberbullying is challenging and takes the vigilance and cooperation of students, parents, school personnel and law enforcements officers/agencies. As a parent, you must be informed about what cyberbullying looks like; what your state/local laws, if any, say about bullying, in general, and cyberbullying, specifically; keep an open line of communication with your child regarding this issue; and properly monitor your child's email communications and the social media sites your child and others his or her age frequently use. I'll have more on educating yourself and others about cyberbullying and ways to prevent and combat it in the next several days. Over and out...

Anna

 

Motherly Law Reader Meeting Agenda {1st Ever and Maybe the Last}

First Point: This is not a real post. As Darling 2 is fond of saying {or singing}, "What's gonna work? Teamwork!" {Thank you, Wonder Pets}. Well, today it's all about teamwork. Today you'll find my post over at Open Door Consulting {DH's social media consulting biz}. I wrote a snappy little list of top Twitter tips for those who need an introduction to Twitter. Please go check out that list by clicking right here {after you finish with this Agenda}. Please feel free to peruse the fabulously insightful posts there. You'll find others written by me too.

Second point: Be sure to tune into to Motherly Law tomorrow {that's Friday, in case you get confused about which day is which, as I often do} for the 2^nd installation of Coffee with Anna Vlog {remember that's a video blog}. I think it's going to be even better than last week; at least let's hope it is.

I had a few people send some great feedback, if you have any, please send it quickly before I pop into my recording studio, a.k.a. my living room. If you missed it or are dying to see my face and hear my voice again before tomorrow, then you can click right here for that. Also, I've had a haircut and that's definitely going to make the vlog better tomorrow. Trust me on that one.

Third point: There is a great need for donated school supplies. School supplies aren't cheap, and our list specifically says no substitutes and no generic brands. There is always a need, but this year there is a particularly high need in our communities. If you can afford it, please find an organization collecting school supplies for your school district and/or area and give today.

If you are in the Twin Cities, VEAP (Volunteers Enlisted to Assist People) are still in need of school supplies that will be given to students who can't afford to buy their own. You can find their list of needed items here. Their donation drive officially ended Monday, but I tweeted with VEAP on Wednesday and they told me they are still collecting supplies. We haven't bought our supplies yet, but will be buying some of the items on VEAP's most needed list to donate, as well.

Fourth and Final Point: I'm beginning to freak out just a bit about Darling 1 going to Kindergarten in less than 3 weeks. We have now officially shopped for school clothes for the very first time ever. And now we have to buy school supplies. Yikes. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. How many of you are sending your kiddos off to Kindergarten this year? How are you feeling about it? Over and out...even though this was not really a post.

Oh, and about the photo; I think all meetings should have some kind of tasty treat. So, the rolls are from Yo Yos Donuts in Minnetonka.

Anna

 

Coffee with Anna: Week in Review Vlog

Welcome to Motherly Law's first Week in Review vlog. A vlog is a video blog; for those of you not familiar with that term. I'm going to give this a shot for a few weeks and see how it goes.

So, get a cuppa java and sit back and watch.

 

I would love your feedback, but do be kind, please. {Yes, Mom, I know I need a haircut, and I'm getting one today.} Please drop me a line! Thanks for watching. Over and out...

Anna

Raw Emotion Sells Like Hot Cakes; Law Simmers Like a Pot of Stew

Some of my more important, more informative, more potentially useful posts are not my highest read posts. Nope. It's my more sensational, more emotional, more totally raw, open hearted posts that break the bar, smash the records and hit the mark.

I'm struggling with this a bit. On the one hand, I'm always thrilled with astronomical pageviews. That means you like me, and more importantly, you like my writing. And hey, does it matter? I wrote it. It's from the heart. That's all that should matter.

On the other hand, I began writing Motherly Law in order to bring together legal information and resources about issues that do or could affect families; things that we, as parents, should know or teach to our kiddos or stick in our brains for some later date. I wanted to convey the law in a way that was less intimidating; more easily digestible; more appealing and interesting.

As I have written post after post, totaling almost 400 posts in 18 months, I've found my voice. I no longer tip-toe around potentially explosive topics {well, there are still a few I tactfully step around}. I express my opinions more freely. I write what I feel. I write what I think. I write what I love. I write what I loathe. I write what I fear. I write what I dream.

I think that's OK. After all, Motherly Law is all mine. It can be who I am as a whole. It's motherly, lawyerly and womanly all at the same time. And yet, when well-meaning and thoughtful people tell me that Motherly Advice is their favorite part of each week, I can't help but feel a little let down.

The Motherly Advice posts are full of heart and soul {my own}. I love them too. But, it's the law and resource related posts that take most of my time and draw on my legal expertise and research skills. It's what sets my site apart from others.

So, this is me, being honest and raw. And truthfully, I'm so very thankful for my very loyal readers and the huge number of people who stumble upon Motherly Law each day by way of search engine queries {and hopefully like what they find and come back again for more}. And I guess what that means is that as long as you know Motherly Law is here full of information, resources and reassurance, then you know you can find the information you need when you need it. And that's enough.

Sometimes I can gauge the response a post will have, but sometimes I'm thoroughly surprised by the attention or the lack thereof. There are some posts I know will be well liked the minute I post them; and others aren't loved to begin with, but will become search engine darlings in the long run. Some posts I love every word of from the first line; stories that come spilling out of my brain totally spun, no need for improvement. Some posts are fruits of great labor; the words don't come easily; my thoughts jumbled together mumbling and bumbling around in my head trying to blend and combine into a sweet melody.

And that, folks, is what this is writing thing is all about; trial and error. Very soon I'll be launching a new website, in addition to Motherly Law. This new endeavor will have nothing to do with the law, but it is something that's dear to my heart and a combination of passions. Stay tuned for that.

Oh, and don't forget to tune in tomorrow morning for my first "Coffee with Anna" Week in Review vlog. And one more thing, the photo is me, in the raw. {Just look at the gray hair! Oh well, it happens} Over and out...

Anna