Hanging By a Thread

5 Things {To Save World}

OK….So, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit when it comes to saving the world, but still, hear me out.

Plastic is a big problem for our Earth. As in, it takes years and years and years and years to break down. Some sources say it may takes plastic containers, bottles and bags 100s or even 1000s of years to break down. The truth is, we don't actually know how long it will take. Plastic bags have been around only 50 years….and they're all still piling up in landfills, etc.

So, our family has been trying our darndest to greatly reduce the amount of plastic we use. I know what you're thinking, "Your one little family not using so much plastic isn't going to save the world or make any great impact." And you're right. That's why each of us should be doing our part in "saving the world" whether it's reducing plastic usage, using fewer or no harmful chemicals in our homes, reducing our overall all carbon footprints, etc.

And did you know if you used just 3 reusable produce bags a week, you'd reduce your plastic bag usage by 150 in just one year? And did you further know that the average family goes through about 500 plastic baggies a year just for school and work lunches?

The way I see it is that if we choose to do things that reduce the waste and the harmful chemicals released into our air and leave our world a purer place for our kids and their kids or at the very least slow the damage to our planet and our people, then it's worth it.

And really these 5 things are EASY…there's just one I have trouble with….

1. Norwex Snack Bags/Sandwich Wraps. We NEVER send plastic baggies in school lunches. We also opt for reusable spoons and forks and travel sized enviro cloths for lunch napkins for waste free lunches. These bags are also great for small toys, crayons, pacifiers, etc. even makeup or nail files and polishes, etc., etc.
2. Reusable Bags for Shopping. Here's the one I have trouble with. I have them in my car, and I usually remember to take them in at Trader Joe's and my co-op, but often forget them when running into Target or a clothing store or shoe store, etc. I'm working on this one. And when I forget I do take my plastic bags to Target to recycle….I hope they actually recycle them!
3. Norwex Mesh Produce Bags. I use these at the grocery stores for fruits and veggies and for picking tomatoes and peppers in our garden – we have had a huge tomato crop and these bags are great for this job. My son even took one to school to store his headphones in. I use one in the freezer for the bananas that go mushy before they are eaten and get used in muffins, breads and pancakes. They are also great for washing grapes so that you don't lose them down the drain or for washing and/or storing Legos bath toys or Barbies and so many other things!
4. Compostable Trash Bags. I feel good about using these. I found 2 different brands at Lakewinds Co-op. They aren't too pricey and there are several sizes, depending on your needs. We have found them to be pretty strong and to work well.
5. Norwex Stainless Steel Straws. Think about how many millions of straws are tossed out each day….staggering isn't it? Well, if you use them in your own home or often stop for a carbonated beverage or shake or smoothie, then these stainless steel straws will serve you well. There's even a handy brush to clean them well! Again, I am working out a system to keep them in my car and remember to grab these and not the plastic version when we stop for a refreshing drink. My boys love to use them with milk.

OK, OK….I actually have 7 points for you, not 5….

1. Silicone Lids. I have been using these for about a year or so now. Norwex just launched a version too – work just the same and they are fantastic! The lids are safe for stovetops, ovens, microwaves and the fridge. There are so many reasons to love them. I don't even use metal lids for my pots now. The silicone lids make perfect rice, make the pasta water boil faster, keep food warm and still good for hours, steams veggies to perfection, keep baked good fresh and moist AND no more plastic wrap! Plus fewer dishes to wash since you can go from stove to fridge in the same container. Oh, and they don't stain or retain odor.
2. Beeswax & Cloth Wrap. I found this at my Lakewinds Co-op too, and they are great! They come in several sizes and even a variety pack. I use them to wrap cheese, bread, fruits, veggies, whatever and, again, NO PLASTIC WRAP or BAGGIES! You simply rinse it with cool water and dry it off and then wrap up the food. The warmth of your hand will mold and seal the beeswax and cloth wrap.

And this is what we're doing, along with removing all harmful chemicals from our home and recycling tons of plastic, paper and glass. Of course, there are always more things we can do…and we will. What are you focusing on changing in your home? Over and out….

Anna

**Full Disclosure: one of the many hats I wear is that of Norwex Independent Sales Consultant. However, none of these products were given to me and no company sponsored this post. This is simply my opinion based on experience using these products in my home.

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My Life {in a Bag}

Open Letter to Toyota {feeling a bit sentimental}

Motherly Advice {The Importance of Adventuring}

From the time our little ones are babbling and bobbing around we start putting blocks with letters and flash cards with numbers in front of them. We sing the ABCs dozens of times and teach signing and multiple languages and recite nursery rhymes and quiz them and prod them with these most basic learning materials.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped the pushing and reciting and prodding. My boys were more interested in experiences and sounds and play and listening to me read to them; and frankly, so was I.

They love to touch things and gather and collect items. They like to ask questions and explore and try their hands at things. They like to ask me questions to look up online and create their own worlds based on what they see and hear.

And yes, they watch TV programs that are neither educational nor lesson oriented. And they often arm themselves with "weapons", as they categorize them, before running out to play super hero or spy with the neighborhood kids. And they play video games on the Wii and on our phones and on the tablet and the computer.

But, here's what I determined. Rote learning will come. They will learn their ABCs and 123s. They will learn to read and write and do math and jumping jacks. They will go to school and be taught these things. And I will sit and do homework duty and reinforce that which is being taught.

And yet, I will not stress over whether they can spell better than anyone else in class. I will not worry whether they can recite the alphabet in the correct order or count to 1000 faster and first in class; because they will know these things.

Instead, I will take them on trips and to festivals and events and plays and concerts and picnics and I will read books to them and be read to by them (as they gain this skill) and we will try new foods and plant a garden and discuss God and ghosts and the universe and black holes and ticks and super heroes and arrow heads and birthday party ideas and costume designs and rock n' roll and minecraft and much more.

So, if your child knows the alphabet in three languages, backwards, forwards and sideways by the time he is 3, that's great. But if he doesn't; no worries. He will. Just keep reading and talking and adventuring. It will all come in time, as it has with my boys.

Don't skip over the best parts; the creative parts and philosophical parts and engineering parts. These parts fuel the brain and make the reading and writing and arithmetic essential to carry on with the fun parts. Over and out...

Anna    

 

Toys For Sale: Impromptu Garage Sale

To have a garage sale or not....that is the question.

Earlier, this week, I got a sudden urge to get rid of unnecessary, unused, outgrown items in our home. And late that night, as I re-arranged my living room and made the decision to get a bunk bed for my two sons who share a room so that I could put their toys back in their room and remove them from the living room, I decided to have a garage sale...on Friday; as in, tomorrow.

Now, every few years or so, we have a garage sale, but I usually coordinate it with the citywide garage sale and take weeks to cull through and price and plan and debate whether to get rid of something or not. Other times, we drop off things at ARC's Value Village or give outgrown clothes to friends with younger boys.

This time, there is no planning time; no coordinating with other garage sales in the area; and there are a couple of glitches; Darling 1 and Darling 2. They are always adamantly opposed to getting rid of ANYTHING that belongs to them. And I didn't realize until yesterday that Darling 1 doesn't have school tomorrow. So, he'll be here to "help" me, as well as Darling 2.

I expect fits of crying and negotiating and stubborn arguing over the items I have selected to make their homes elsewhere. I expect I will have to be armed with lots of reason and explanations. And I have already paved my way to success, with a little bribery.

Without knowing exactly what will be on the chopping block tomorrow, the boys agreed to help with the garage sale and sell some of their things in exchange for $10 of the profit to spend as they please at Target.

This will be my bargaining chip each time they begin to slip in their resolve and clutch a raggedy stuffed animal that has been forgotten for years; yet has all of a sudden become his favorite stuffed animal of all time. Or when they attempt to show me that they can still fit in the Little Tykes car you push with your feet, I will dangle that $10 in front of their dazzling eyes.

Do I recommend bribery for every situation? Absolutely not, but I think there is a time and a place for everything. And I don't mind sharing the proceeds from their cast-off toys and outgrown clothes and gear. After all, it is their stuff; or was their stuff and is soon to be someone else's.

So, am I crazy to attempt this impromptu garage sale with my sometimes strangely attached to ragged, forgotten toys, always willful and determined, yet easily bribed with money to spend at Target children in tow?

Well, we shall see. I'm going to attempt it. I'll report back.

Do you have garage sales? How do you decide what to get rid of and what to keep? And are your children present at the sale? Over and out...

Anna

Spring Break: Wide Open Schedules

When I was growing up we hardly ever traveled anywhere for spring break. In fact, I don't recall anyone who did, except for maybe a road trip to visit a grandma. As a young child in south Texas what I recall about spring break is that it was a time to go to the local dime store and choose a few new toys and games to keep us occupied throughout the week.

We bought jump ropes, jacks, paddle balls, pick-up sticks, harmonicas and marbles. And sometimes, if I was lucky, my mom let me buy those cheap plastic high heels. Of course, several of these things usually broke pretty quickly.

The little, pink, bouncy ball stapled to the piece of rubber band that was stapled to the paddle almost always detached after only about 5 minutes of pounding the ball against the paddle. And those plastic heels; well, if I didn't sprain my ankle or get a deep, red, burning impression across the top of my feet from the tight elastic band holding the "shoes" on, the cheap plastic would break in half by day two.

At some point, my mom, brother and I would play Monopoly, which always ended the same way time after time, year after year; arguing, tears and money being thrown at someone. Honestly, it was generally me who threw the money at my brother, the great hotel mogul. And yet, we would play it once more and my brother and I would promise we wouldn't get upset with each other, but we always did.

Spring break was a time to sleep in, play for long hours and stay up late. Schedules were relaxed and time seemed to slow to a crawl. We went bowling, watched movies and ate at our favorite burger place for lunch. As a child, spring break felt like it lasted for much longer than a week.

My favorite part of any holiday has always been the start of it. All those free days with no obligations; no deadlines; no morning rushes out the door spread out before me. Each day full of possibility; days open to the spontaneity of sudden inspiration; and days that allow for lazing about and doing absolutely nothing.

This is spring break to me. So, as we begin a new chapter of spring breaks with our kindergartener, I'm excited to take a week out of our normal, busy schedules for play, adventure and folly. And I'm leaving our schedule wide open for those impromptu moments that will almost certainly be our favorite memories. Over and out...

Anna

The List: The Fickle World of Toys

Toys that Seemed Like a Good Idea {But Weren't}

1. Moon Sand. Contrary to the description on the package; this is basically colored sand and nothing like clay or play-doh; I don't need colored sand in my house.
2. Card Games. For some children of certain ages, this is probably a great idea, but for two active, young boys, a card game simply ends in a mess of cards scattered all over the table and floor and 4 disgruntled participants.
3. Anything not made of the strongest materials on the market. IT WILL break within 24 hours if bought at the dollar store, in the dollar area or just generally cheaply made.
4. Kid Camera. For the price, you might as well just buy a cheap real digital camera that will actually work.
5. Toy Laptop. They use it to pretend sometimes, but it has never taken the place of one of our real laptops or smartphones.

Toys I Wasn't Sure Were a Good Idea {But Were}

1. Any and Every Costume. They love to get dressed up and play. While I have never paid much for Halloween costumes, we definitely get our money's worth and more from them.
2. Large Cardboard Bricks. At first I thought they were a mistake, but with time the bricks have been used to build structures for the Cars vehicles and Toy Story characters, walls for their "Café" that includes their play kitchen and obstacles to be knocked down.
3. Anything from the Imaginext Line. These toys are large, but inspire creative play. The space shuttle and launch pad, bat cave and airplane carrier and more have been involved in many missions, involving super heroes, cars, animals and more; and what's more, they're sturdy.

Toys that Have Stood the Test of Time

1. Stuffed Animals. Whether being cuddled or caught or re-enacting a Disney movie, the boys' giant pile of stuffed animals remains.
2. Books. A favorite book is a favorite book, no matter how much time has passed.
3. Sports Equipment. Balls, bats, racquets and more have been played with from the time that Darling 1 was a tiny tot and continue to get lots of action.
4. Any kind of connecting blocks. Legos and Duplo Mega Blocks have always been a favorite too. And as the boys grow, they grow into the smaller and more complicated Legos, but still use and incorporate the larger pieces too.

Most toys come {and break} and go, but a few stick around. My mother-in-law still has a number of toys from when her 30 something boys were youngsters that her grandkids now enjoy just as much. Choosing which toys will stand the test of time and be worth your hard earned money is much harder than it appears.

Which toys have stood the test of time in your home? Over and out...

Anna

F is for Fear: Bad School Policies Affecting Good Kids {On a Soapbox....on a Tuesday}

School Contraband

I really hate the stories about the students, mostly boys, who once at school discover they have accidently brought a toy gun or small pocket knife in their backpack, book bag, lunch box or coat pocket; who report this to the teacher because the student knows this is contraband that shouldn't be at school; only to be tossed out of school and receive a record of bringing a "weapon" to school and a school suspension.

A boy from Georgia did just this a week or so ago. While in chess club, the 13 year old middle school student, discovered the 1.5 inch knife in the military style bag his aunt bought at a yard sale and gave him as a Christmas gift. The boy, upon discovering this knife, immediately alerted his teacher. His reward for this honest act? A 4-day, in-school suspension.

The Wrong Message

I can't tell you how angry this story and others like it make me. Disciplining an honest, well-meaning child in this way teaches two negative lessons: 1) don't tell the truth and 2) justice is a fraud.

We tell our children to tell the truth; honesty is the best policy. We tell our children that justice will prevail; the innocent will be free and the guilty punished.

And yet, our schools have responded to isolated incidents of evilness with fear. This fear has caused them to write harsh and unfair policies regarding ANY "weapons" brought to school, whether real or perceived, under ANY circumstances.

Lessons Learned

These school policies teach children to hide the truth {and the contraband} should they make such a discovery in their bags or pockets. These policies teach children that mens rea, or intent, doesn't matter, motives are unimportant, they are guilty by association and the school need not have any evidence to present against them to be found guilty of this "crime." These are lessons our students will learn at a young age and take with them all through school and into their adulthood.

We have thrown out the common sense response to the self-reporting of accidently {or unbeknownst to the student, as in this case} bringing a toy weapon or small knife to school. The response in such cases should be kind and appreciative. We should applaud and welcome those who come forward to admit the mistake and turn in the contraband; then remind all the students of the dangers of having any weapons, toy or otherwise, at school for a variety of reasons and tell them to carefully check their bags and remove any such items before coming to school.

The Scoop

Schools, in trying to protect the students, have instead hurt some of the "good" students. These policies are bad. These kinds of stories almost always make the news because they are unjust policies. Why must we punish the truthful, rule-following, upstanding students? The simple answer is Fear.

Fear controls much of how we run our lives. We must overcome fear and recognize the difference between students who are a threat and in need of intervention and students who are well-meaning, good kids, who sometimes make and honest mistake. Over and out...

Anna

Twas the Night Before Christmas: Motherly Law Style

Twas the night before Christmas,

When all thro' the house,

Not a creature was stirring,

Except for the Mom;

The stockings were hung

By the chimney with care,

Full to the brim with Angry Bird pencil toppers, Pez dispensers, chocolate, Squinkies and socks;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of superheroes and pirates danced in their heads,

And Dad in his fleece had just started to snore—

When out on the lawn

There arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my work to see what was the matter.

Away to window I flew like a flash,

Peeked out of the blinds

And checked the triple locked door.

The moon shining down on the brown grass below

Gave no reflection at all;

When, what to my squinting eyes, peering into the darkness, should come into sight

But 8 plastic yard reindeer attached to a broken down sleigh,

With a little, middle-aged driver, so wobbly and slow,

I knew in a moment he must be drunk.

More rapid than eagles these reindeer were not.

And he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by name:

"Now! Jack {Daniels}, now! Jim {Beam}, now! Jose {Quervo}, and Crown,

On! Bailey{'s}, on! Bud {weiser}, on! Malibu and Captain {Morgan}"

"To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves before a wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle...really, what does this line have to do with Christmas?

Regardless, up to the house-top those coursers did not try;

With a tired old sleigh and a tipsy St. Nick, those plastic reindeer didn't move an inch.

And then in a twinkling I heard on the window pane

The tapping and rapping and prying and tugging and struggling of that drunk Santa.

As I stood against a wall in the shadows, and reached for my Smartphone from the pocket of my flannel pajamas,

That fake Santa opened the window and climbed in with much difficulty:

He was dress'd all in synthetics,

from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnish'd

With chili cheese fries and root beer {say it like a Minnesotan and root rhymes with foot, kind of};

An empty bag he had flung over his back,

And he reminded me of...well, the Grinch

Just opening his {empty} sack:

His eyes – oh, how bleary!

His dimples very un-merry and really more like scowls,

Now, his cheeks were like roses

And his nose like a cherry {because of the liquor};

His droll little mouth was

Drawn down in a frown.

And the beard of his chin

Was as red as the nose on a clown;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth

And the smoke was thick and stinky,

Messing up my freshly cleaned house.

He had a broad face, and a

Big round belly

That bumped into my treasures and trinkets as he tread across my floor;

He was chubby and plump,

A right sad old elf,

And I dialed 911 when I saw him

In spite of my staring

A droop of his hand and nod of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but

Went straight to sleep.

As he sank into my couch in his filthy old suit,

He turned on his side and began to saw logs.

Giving a nod {to the police} as they arrived at my home,

Out he was dragged before

He could awaken and make haste out the door to escape.

Once revived by fresh air, he sprung into action,

To his team {of plastic reindeer} gave a whistle,

But alas, to no avail, those old yard decorations gave no heed,

And away the cops took him, as fast as they'd descended upon

My humble abode,

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight-

Merry Christmas to you, and I'm not the real Claus, just an imposter.

Well, I'll have you know that fake Santa was booked, jailed and bailed,

Then charged, put on trial and convicted

Of the theft of 8 plastic yard reindeer and one antique miniature sleigh,

Disorderly conduct {based on his action at the bar prior to the theft of holiday decor},

And breaking and entering of a residence,

For which he received quite generous sentence in exchange for the promise

That that red-bearded elf would never play Santa again.

And, the red and white Santa Claus suit?

He swears it came in the mail,

Addressed to K. Kringle at his address penned beneath.

He donned it for a lark, but liked its affect

And wore it out for the night of pre-Christmas delight.

Alas, his folly got bold and he landed in prison, abject.

Over and out....Happy Christmas Eve!

Anna

The List: Bobby’s Letter to Santa; an Unexpected Find

Hunting for Treasure

In search of the perfect makings of pirate costumes, which happen to be on my Darling Boys' Christmas Wish List, I visited my local ARC Value Village shop of donated new and used items. Well, I discovered a treasure trove of goods there for my little Capt. Jack Sparrows {I am very proud of the costumes I put together and can't wait for Christmas morning!}

Well, it also happens that this was my first foray into the world of the Value Village. I found several other treasures too; among them was a Christmas Nativity book that I had as a child and brought home for 69 cents. When I got home and was looking through the book I found a fill-in-the-blank letter to Santa stuck in between two pages of the book that had been filled in by the original owner of the book. I know this because just inside the cover it's inscribed with the year 1983 (the year the book was published) and a boy's name. The name in the book matches the name on the Santa letter.

The Unsent Santa Letter

Here is that fill-in-blank letter with a list of requested Christmas gifts for the family:

Dear Santa,

I can hardly wait until Christmas! I've been very good all year (except for that one time when I markers). The things I want most are ecto-1, basketball and piano.

My parents have been good, too. Maybe you could bring a baby for my mom and girlfriend for my dad.

These are my favorite Christmas things: My favorite cookies are chocolat; my favorite color is rad, and my favorite reindeer is Rudy.

We'll leave a snack for you Christmas Eve so you won't go hungry.

Love Bobby

PS. Could I meet Rudolph someday?

Wish Lists

Hmmm. You have to wonder how well they all made out that Christmas. Perhaps young Bobby's parents weren't married to each other. I suppose, let's hope that was the case. Ah, out of the mouths of babes...Well, here's hoping you have all been good and that your kids have requested such special gifts for you this year.

By the way, I did a little research and the Ecto-1 was the vehicle from The Real Ghostbusters cartoon and seems to have been a top toy to get in 1986. I was 12 in 1986, but I am not a boy and we watched little, if any, TV back then, so this toy was not stuck in my memory. I'm sure my brother could rattle of this information even still without referring to Google. So, perhaps this letter is from 1986. Are you out there, Bobby? Over and out...

Anna

Straight Shooting: Boys & Guns

It's Inevitable

When I gather with other mothers the topic is bound to come up. It started when my sons were just little tikes, probably around the two year mark. And just as the discussion among moms is inevitable so is a boy's desire to know more...no matter how you, as a parent, feel about it.

I'm talking about guns; space blasters, water squirters, Nerf guns, laser guns, pop guns, rifles, pistols and any other kind of toy firearm. There comes a time for just about every boy when guns are of the utmost interest. It seems to be innate. It isn't something that can be contained or dismissed by a parent who wishes to suppress the issue of firearms, whether toy or real. It just happens.

This is not to say that a boy who puts a toy gun on his Christmas wish list will grow up to be a gun slingin', always packin', proud card carryin' NRA member. No, for most it's just a fad as are so many types of toys.

Not to be Ignored

My theory is this, the more you try to ignore the subject of guns, the more your son will want to know about what he's missing out on, which will only perpetuate the gun phase. Boys who are not allowed to play with actual toy guns will build them with Legos or other connecting blocks, turn sticks into guns or simply use their hands. We have allowed the toys guns, but the boys have only a few guns, mostly of the space alien laser type.

We are not gun toting kind of people, as I mentioned in yesterday's post, but I do talk openly about guns. I have explained about the dangers of guns, what to do if they ever encounter a gun in a field, at a person's home, at school, at the park, etc. I have said if they do happen upon a gun that they should never pick it up; even if it looks like a toy because many times real guns might look like a toy gun. Instead, I have instructed them to immediately report to a trusted adult. And I have made it a practice to inquire whether there are guns in the home where my child is invited to play.

The Presence of Firearms

Many people do own guns; some for protection, some for hunting and some for work {as in the case of law enforcement, not bounty hunters and assassins}. And to each his own; as long as the gun is not used or kept in a reckless manner and is obtained and registered legally.

Recently, while at a park with my Darling Boys and one of Darling 1's new friends from Kindergarten, the friend's mom and I had a conversation. Eventually, it turned to boys and guns. I mentioned that we don't have any guns in the home and she told me that they don't have guns either. Then, she said that she had been wondering how she would bring this issue up with parents of new friends from school who might invite her son over, and she was relieved that we had gotten that out of the way.

It's an awkward conversation to have, especially with fellow parents you may have just met, but I made a decision a while ago that I would ask. It's far less awkward to have this conversation than the conversation where you have to tell the parents that their child was accidentally shot and killed by a gun in your home. Sounds harsh, but it's true.

Just think of the number of times you have seen a headline telling of tragedy involving young kids and guns found in the home. Often, the child who lives in the home isn't even aware that a gun is in the home until he or she accidentally finds the gun. These accounts usually have the same storyline; a child finds the loaded gun in a closet, in a table next to the bed, between the mattress, etc. and by accident pulls the trigger shooting either him/herself, an unsuspecting sibling or friend.

You Should....

So, my opinion is that if you do indeed have guns for any purpose in your home, you should tell your children and anyone else in the home that there are firearms present. You should talk to the inhabitants of your home about the dangers of firearms. You should keep the firearms unloaded and locked. You should make sure that the inhabitants of the home know where the firearms are kept, and that location should not be accessible to children. This means it should be locked; kids can climb and reach anything.

The Scoop

And that's my two cents worth.* How do you feel about guns; toys or the real deal? Over and out...

Anna

*I write this from the perspective of a boy mom. Girls may have an interest in guns too. Of course, all the safety information pertains to both boys and girls.

Layaway: Strapped Shopper’s Good Deal or Stealing from the Consumer?

When I think back to my childhood, I recall saving up for things; I recall collecting points for items; and I recall putting things on layaway. It was a way to make sure you got the toy or piece of furniture or coat or whatever it was that you wanted without paying for it all at one time. Credit cards weren't used as freely as they are now, at least not in the world I grew up in.

To put something on layaway, you had to pay a small amount d own and perhaps a small fee and then you could make payments on your items in small increments or in a lump-sum payment. I don't remember layaway lasting more than a couple of month for each item. It was great for Christmas gifts, school clothes and larger ticket items. I even used layaway during my second year of college when I got my first apartment and needed to buy some items like a vacuum cleaner, bar stools and such.

As credit cards gained in popularity over the last 20 years, layaway began to fade away. Instead, people were able to have instant gratification when purchasing with the almighty credit card. Oh, yes, we were paying for it in interest, but we were able to live the lives we wanted rather than what we could afford.

While we still live in a world ruled by credit, people have been forced to live more within their means due to our sour, stagnant economy. This is not a bad thing. In fact, it's one of the few good things about our economy. However, there are also many who are just barely getting by, living paycheck to paycheck.

Those people still want to be able to buy their kids Christmas gifts or a new, warm coat or a new table for the dining room or a bed or other item they need without charging up credit cards. This is where layaway comes in. They can pick out the items today, pay a little from each check and be sure that in a few months they'll have paid for their holiday gifts or have outfitted their family for the winter or replaced old, broken furniture with new, etc.

Well, layaway is on the comeback with a number of large retail stores offering it to customers in this pre-holiday season. I recently read an article in The Week with excerpts from Mr. Hyman's NY Times article stating that the financing of layaway is much worse than using credit cards. Here's the example he gave, paraphrased by me:

A mom goes to buy Christmas gifts for her kids which total $100. She puts them on layaway, paying $10 down bringing her total owed down to $90, but then she has to pay a $5 service fee. She has basically two months to pay off the $90 remaining and has spent $15 already; paying just $5 more than what it would have cost her if she hadn't put it on layaway.

Mr. Hyman complains that the rate paid by this fictitious mom could be considered "predatory." Mr. Hyman equates this $5 fee for a $90 two month loan to a credit card with a 44% annual percentage rate. He complains that companies like Wal-Mart, Toys R Us and Sears are taking advantage of shoppers who are low on cash and credit.

I don't see it that way. I am in no way a fan of extra fees or high interest rates, but if by paying $5 extra dollars, it meant that I could afford the items my Darling Boys were dreaming of Santa bringing them for Christmas, then I would happily put the toys on layaway and pay the measly $5.

If the alternative was waiting until the last minute when I had saved up enough money to go shopping on Christmas Eve praying there would still be choice toys available, $5 is not a big price to pay. Additionally, if and when credit cards are used, often times a person uses it over and over and racks up so much debt that the fees and interest paid greatly exceeds $5 in the end. I would always choose layaway over a credit card.

What do you think? Are you a fan of layaway or do you side with Mr. Hyman? Is paying the $5 fee better than racking up more debt on credit cards; debt you may not be able to pay off right away, which means paying much more in interest? Over and out...

Anna

Dirty Little {Hidden} Toxins: Exposure to Lead in Bounce Houses {2012 Reminder}

Dirty Hands

My Darling Boys are always sticking their fingers in the mouths or grabbing a snack with their fingers and eating it after playing at the park or in the dirt before I can clean off their hands or send them to the sink for a thorough washing.

This grosses me out and sends thousands of warnings messages through my neurons. I try to stop them and get their hands clean before it happens, but it invariably does happen. Darling 2 will say, "Why, Ma?" as he sticks little goldfish crackers in his mouth with his filthy little hands. And yet, they have survived and a little dirt is OK, but it's all the chemicals and germs that scare me. And now, another danger to be wary of...

Hidden Bounce House Dangers

We are aware of the threat of lead in old paint, in toys, in jewelry and on strands of Christmas lights, but here's one that might surprise you: beware of dangerous levels of lead in inflatable bounce house vinyl. Last August, the CA attorney general's office filed a lawsuit against 8 bounce house manufacturers claiming there are unsafe levels of lead in the vinyl. In February, a settlement was reached with 2 of the major suppliers to reduce the lead in the vinyl, making it safer for about half of the bounce houses.

The lawsuit was filed after the Center for Environmental Health tested dozens of bounce houses. The advocacy group focused on the vinyl of the structures; the very thing that makes them bouncy. The group used Field Portable XRF analyzers with X-rays to determine the chemical makeup of solid objects. What they found was surprising.

Lead Exposure

The tests revealed that the vinyl tested contained lead in levels of 5,000 parts per million to 29,000 parts per million. These number far exceed the federal limit of 90 to 300 parts per million. These levels are potentially toxic.

Lead is a cumulative poison; every little bit exposed to can make a big difference in the long run, particularly for kids. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) states that exposure to lead can lead to learning disabilities, behavioral problems and seizures, coma and even death, in cases of extreme exposure.

Precautions

If you choose not to boycott bounce houses altogether, based on this issue and others, then be sure to wash hands and face after your child is finished in the bounce house and before eating. What happens is the lead dust gets on a child's hands and face and clothes, the child then gets out and grabs a drink or eats some food and ingests the lead dust in the process.

The two manufacturers who agreed to the settlement in California also agreed to test their structures that are already in circulation for rental for parties and events and replace those with dangerous levels. However, the safe assumption is that your child may be exposed to lead when using a bounce house. So, make sure to wipe your child's hands and face after playing in a bounce house.

The Scoop

We can choose to be overly cautious or throw caution to the wind or settle somewhere in the middle. We fall in the middle ground. I'm not a fanatic about washing hands every three minutes; I let me kids play in the dirt; we swim in lakes; and haven't had all of our toys tested for lead or other dangerous chemicals. Yep, we're living on the edge. Over and out...

Anna

Ready, Set, Jump: Bouncy House Safety

The Joy of Bouncing

What is it about jumping that brings such joy to kids? When Darling 1 was just a few weeks old he starting bouncing in my lap; he loved to bounce, bounce, bounce. Darling 1 was such a bouncer that we bought him a Tigger Halloween costume when he was 3 months old. Both the Boys still love to bounce whether it's at Skyzone on a trampoline, on a bed at home, or in a bouncy house.

Nearly every mid to large size town now has a inflatable bounce structure business that's all about jumping, climbing and sliding. These are prime birthday party locations; great indoor play areas when the weather is foul; and fun for the whole family. These structures have made appearances in thousands of yards for all kinds of celebrations; they're present at fairs, festivals and carnivals; and a sure thing at church events and school activities.

Safe Jumping

So, what's the big deal? It's fun to jump; the surfaces aren't hard or sharp; and the kids are safe, right? The answer is tricky. Lately, the seemingly innocent and fun bouncy structures have been getting a lot of bad press. A preliminary search quickly found these incidents: a gust of wind has picked up a bouncy house and flung it into a roof or several yards over or straight up in the air; kids summersault or fall or jump into each other; kids knock into people standing outside the bouncy structure; and kids are exposed to lead in the plastic of the bouncy house. In each of these accidents, people were killed or injured, some were catastrophic injuries.

A Collapsing Bouncy House

This past weekend, we attended a fun end of the summer party in the backyards of our friends and their neighbors who live behind them. Partygoers wandered back and forth. There was live music in one yard, food in one of the houses, drinks at both houses, and a bouncy house in one yard. The Boys immediately gravitated to the spectacular, Toy Story themed, giant bouncy structure. There was a slide, a basketball hoop and several "rooms" for jumping. We finally cajoled them to get out to come eat.

Later, when it was dark, they asked to go back to the bouncy house in the other yard. DH went with them and about 10 minutes later, I walked over to check on them. When I got past the shrubs that divide the yard, I heard Darling 2 crying and saw DH crawling in to find him. At that same time, I noticed the spotlight that had been trained on the bouncy house went out, along with other outside lights. I went around to the side where Darling 2 was to check that he was OK and with DH.

It was then I noticed the bouncy house was deflating... and quickly. Then, it dawned on me, the breaker had flipped with the bouncy house compressor, spotlight and outdoor lights all on; it was too much for the breaker. By this point, the kids were screaming because they realized it was coming down. I yelled to the people standing by the house to flip the breaker and get a flashlight. Since DH was in the bouncy house, he was able to grab our Boys and corral the rest of the kids and get out. He told me the kids were having a hard time trying to get out because the top was falling on them and the deflating floor had big sink holes and gaps in it and it was totally dark.

All the kids did get out {as well as DH}. No one was injured. But that was enough excitement for us. We were done with the bouncy house. And it made me start thinking about bouncy house safety. I had heard a few stories of the structures taking flight after a big gust of wind or on a windy day, but with just a little digging I found a lot more.

This week I'm going to be discussing the various dangers, liability issues and rules for staying safe when it comes to inflatable bouncy structures. Should you boycott them altogether? Well, that's up to you, but I know that I will for sure never rent one for my yard, and I will think twice before allowing my kids to jump in one. I'll be back with more tomorrow. Over and out...

Anna

The List: Essentials for Road Tripping with Kiddos

We're leaving on our road trip. I'm a chronic over-planner, over-packer, over-thinker, and I always have been. So, this doesn't make it easy when getting ready for a family trip. I usually do pack more than we need, but I'd rather have too many than not enough underwear, snacks, toys, clothes, etc.

Part of preparing for this trip is thinking of as many time occupying activities that can be done while strapped into a seat as possible. We have many hours ahead of us on the road. This is important!

Now if I can just make it all fit in the car and work out logistically as we travel along.

 

Here is my list:

1. Snacks, snacks & more snacks {I'll have mashed fruit, cheese crackers, pretzels, yogurt covered raisins, wheat thins, dried berries, string cheese, Pirate Booty & a wee bit of chocolate};
2. DVDs {Our preferences at the moment: Curious George, Diego, Cars & Cars Toons, Clifford, Muppets Take Manhattan & Bob the Builder};
3. Apple Juice & Milk {Packed in a cooler with ice, along with the string cheese and our picnic lunch};
4. Books {I'll scavenge the bookshelves and ask the kids to do the same and fill two totes bags, one for each kid, with a variety of books. I like to take books that have not been read recently and may have been forgotten about, as well as current faves. Lately, they have been all about the Elmo & Sesame Street books I've gotten over the past year from the $1 area in Target.};
5. Small Toys {In our case, Pixar Cars & McDonald Happy Meal Super Hero Figurines};
6. Music CDs {A mix of everything, but ABSOLUTELY NO KID MUSIC. That's just how I roll. We have a brand new mix CD that our sweet friends Jan and Hilary made for us to start the trip off with.};
7. Water & Caffeine for Mama;
8. A Few New Toys from my stash of sale items and Target $1 Area toys {It's always good to have a few toys they have never seen before to pull out at dire moments.};
9. Two Lap Desks {for coloring & drawing, playing cars, eating a snack and looking at books while driving.};
10. Coloring Books, Activity Books, Stickers, Notebooks, Pencils & Crayons;
11. Small Backpack for Each Child {filled by the child with whatever essential toys he deems necessary for the long trek in the car};
12. Favorite Snuggly, Stuffed Animal of the Moment;
13. Lots of Wipes & Target Bags for wet/dirty clothes and diapers.

I am going to arm my 5 year-old with the toy pincher/grabber thingy and a butterfly net for picking up dropped items from the floor. We experimented with this technique, and it's working about 50% of the time, depending on the object. The biggest issue while driving may prove to be all the dropped items they can't reach and want me to get right away, not when we stop in an hour or two.

I also plan to have a reserve of car games in my head for emergency diversions. I Spy is always a good one. One of our favorite made-up games is looking for cars that resemble Pixar Cars characters. This can be played in the city or on the open highway.

I am hoping and praying that Darling 2 sleeps in the car, at least on occasion. I have no hopes of Darling 1 sleeping in the car at all. I have strategically planned stops for eating and getting out for active play. Of course, we'll also stop 18 million times to go to the bathroom along the way.

OK! We're off and away and about to have a great adventure! I'll be checking in on Thursday. Over and out...

Anna

The List: Lessons from Mater

On Saturday morning, after months of talking about it and counting down the days, we went to the theater to see Cars 2. Our State Farm insurance agent had reserved a theater for a special viewing for her clients. We were thrilled to finally see the new Cars movie. Nothing like the first Cars movie story line, this one is an action-packed spy tale, but the main characters are as lovable as ever.

Mater may not be the big, flashy, red star of the movie {whom I do personally adore, both the car and the man}, but he is certainly a central character and without Mater, Cars simply would not have the same appeal. My Darling Boys have watched the movie Cars a million times or more; at least enough times that we all have every line in the movie memorized.

In addition to the Cars movie, they have also viewed Cars Toons, Mater's Tall Tales, too many times to count. In these episodes, Mater tells stories, which may or may not stretch the truth, about his many adventures as a daredevil, a matador, an astronaut, a heavy metal music star, etc. In these episodes and in the movies, Mater is always just himself, and that's enough.

Here are some lessons we can all learn from Mater:

1. Mater is enthusiastic about everything he does;
2. Mater talks to everyone; approaching everyone as a friend;
3. Mater is always ready to try new things;
4. Mater is fiercely loyal to his friends;
5. Mater says it like it is;
6. Mater is trusting and trustworthy;
7. Mater understands that our dents {or memories and experiences} are valuable and unique and make us who we are; and
8. Mater isn't afraid to be himself, using phrases like "dad gum" & "well, shoot"; words I grew up hearing in my native Texas.

All anyone needs to be is himself or herself. This is sometimes forgotten. Life is difficult and complicated when we try to be someone we aren't. We must remember that we are at our best when we are being ourselves. Over and out...

Anna

Some Call It Worrying, I call it Accident Prevention

Mommy Brain

As a mom, part of my brain is dedicated to coming up with worse-case scenarios of what might happen to my Darling Boys if.... and then devising plans and solutions to avoid and/or survive such imagined occurrences.

Much has been written, spoken and tweeted about the death of Osama bin Laden this week. I'm thrilled he is out of the picture and that the U.S. has been able to thwart so many terrorist plots over the last 10 years, but interestingly enough, as much as I'm horrified of being caught in a terroristic attack, that's not the kind of scenario that usually pops into my head.

It's the everyday, freakish, what-are-the-odds-of-that-happening kind of catastrophic event that really concerns me.

Here's What Really Scares Me:

I'm scared to death of the day they are old enough to take off on their bikes {wearing well fitting, undamaged bike helmets} on adventures up and down and across streets; streets with no sidewalks or shoulders where drivers recklessly careen about in their vehicles without concern for the well-being of my children.

I'm petrified my Boys will choke on popcorn, marshmallows, tomatoes, small Lego pieces, Star Wars figurine heads {why, oh why do they detach from the body} or a million other items. Darling 2 did choke on a tomato just a few weeks ago. I did not freeze up and was able to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him and get the tomato unstuck. Thank God! I have played this scene over and over and prayed I would be able to do what I needed to do out of instinct; and I did.

I worry that my children won't get the proper servings of veggies per day or enough of the right kind of veggies or that the veggies they do eat will be contaminated with pesticides which will lead to cancer in the prime of their lives.

I contemplate what I will say when they come to me with broken hearts because their true loves don't love them back or kids they thought were their friends did something or said something that was not at all friendly. I fret about whether they will be well liked, well mannered, well accepted, well adjusted and happy as they grow and mature and become young men who never think this world is too much and contemplate their own demise.

I pray that a driver distracted by sending a text, reaching for coffee, putting on makeup, looking for a CD or having an in depth discussion over the phone does not cross into the lane I'm driving in and smash us to smithereens, but should this happen I pray that I will not die or be critically injured and leave my babies; and that the hand of God would protect my precious boys securely and lovingly strapped into their seats behind me.

I hope they never ride their bikes or run while listening to music through earphones that could muffle the sound of a trash truck, train or rabid dog fast approaching.

I take measures to ensure they don't accidentally ingest a poisonous plant or mistake a bleach bottle for a milk bottle or have access to brightly colored pills of medicine that look eerily like candies.

Crazy Lady?

Whew! I said it. Sometimes I even worry that by actually voicing these fears, they could come true. This list is not exhaustive and it changes as they grow, but this is how my heart and brain work; this is how I get through the horrible things that happen all in our world. And then I can focus on the beautiful, wonderful, magical things that also happen every day.

I think through these things; I take precautions; I implement plans; I teach my boys safety; and I pray a lot! Now don't mistake me for saying that I dwell on these things constantly and am all-consumed by tragedy and disaster. I'm not. Intense; paranoid; empathetic; analytical; planner; pray-er: yes.

The Scoop

I cannot always be there. I cannot stop everything from happening to them; and nor would I want to. In the words of a spunky, blue fish named Dory, "Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo. {Nemo}" From Finding Nemo.

I want them to take risks; the kind of risks that lead to innovation, creativity, discovery, love, laughter, success and sometimes failure. After all, it's from good, bad, happy, sad, interesting, boring, small and big happenings that a person learns and grows and experiences. These are good things, but, Please Lord, no shattering events that would break my heart in two forever!

You can tell by the links in this post that I've written posts about many of my motherly fears. What do you worry about? Or maybe you don't! Here's to a safe Thursday! Over and out...

Anna

You might also like:

The Right to Bear Arms in Your Home: McDonald v. City of Chicago

Celebrating the Red, White and Blue: Be Prepared to Follow the Law

Not Even for a Minute: Children Left Unattended in Vehicles

Q & A: Little Nuggets of Information to Tuck Away Until the Next Round of Trivia

Points to Ponder

Some people land on Motherly Law looking for information that's not necessarily on my site, but the key word combinations are in posts on Motherly Law. Since I have spent this week examining search engine traffic and searches, I decided I would answer a few of the search questions that brought people here, but did not lead them to the answers they were seeking.

1. 1.  "Did Lorenzo de Medici have children?"

    

   1. As a matter of fact, he did. According to Wikipedia, Lorenzo de Medici, born in 1449, an Italian politician, diplomat, patron of scholars, poets, and artists and ruler of the Florentine Republic during the Italian Renaissance, had 9 children. Two of his sons went on to become popes. Lorenzo's death in 1492 marked the end of the Golden Age of Florence. For more information on Lorenzo de Medici, go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorenzo_de'_Medici

       

2. "Can toys be bought with Supplemental Security Income (SSI) beneficiary money?"

    

   1. According to SSA.gov, SSI is a Federal income supplement program funded by general tax revenues (not Social Security taxes). SSI is designed to help aged, blind and disabled people, who have little or no income; providing cash to meet basic needs for food, clothing and shelter. So, the answer is no, you shouldn't use SSI money for toys. For more information on SSI, go to www.SSA.gov/ssi/ .
3. "Cell phones in pool seems dangerous"
   1. The only danger of having your phone in or near the pool is the danger of ruining your phone's battery. If this should happen to you to, don't panic…yet. Try these steps from http://www.wisegeek.com/what-should-i-do-if-i-drop-my-cell-phone-in-water.htm.
4. "Is a temperature of 34 degrees OK in children?"
   1. OK, so I'm going to assume we are talking about 34 degrees Celsius because clearly a Fahrenheit temp of 34 is not OK. The conversion formula for Celsius to Fahrenheit is 9/5 * (Celsius Temp) + 32, so 34 Celsius is 9/5 * (34) +32 which is 93.2 degrees Fahrenheit. And 93.2 degrees Fahrenheit is still not a good temp. Hypothermia can set in at a body temp below 96 degrees Fahrenheit. So, the answer is no, 34 degrees Celsius or 93.2 degrees Fahrenheit is not OK in kids or adults.
   2. *To convert a temperature from Celsius to Fahrenheit: Start by taking the number in Celsius and multiply it by 9. Then divide that number by 5, and then add 32. This is how you convert Celsius to Fahrenheit or use the equation F = (9/5) C + 32.

   Source: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_34_degrees_Celsius_in_Fahrenheit

5. "Is it safe to take candy from people on Halloween?"
   1. OK, so you can find the answer to this question on ML. The answer is yes and no. Read these tips from Never Take Candy from Strangers….Except on Halloween: Tips for Trick-or-Treating Safely for more on this subject.

Other Top Read Posts

These posts also get picked up by searches quite frequently. I predict that the bullying posts will soon surpass all others in the amount of search engine traffic. I have been surprised and saddened by how often the grown-up bullies post gets searched and read. Interestingly, the modification of a child support order post was not highly read when I first posted it, yet it gets read by search engine traffic frequently enough to make the top 10 list; coming in at number 5. I'm not surprised the Choosing Work Over Baby post regularly gets picked up by search engines. It's a topic that is ever on the minds of moms.

1. A Change in Circumstance: Modification of a Child Support Order
2. Grown Up Bullies: The Legal Remedies of Adult Bullying
3. We're Not Gonna Take It: Anti-Bullying Laws Leaving Kids Unprotected
4. "Choosing" Work over Baby: The Reality of Parental Leave in the United States

The Scoop

On Saturday, I will post a Saturday Summary regarding Obama's School Lunch Nutrition Bill highlighted in the last Sunday Spotlight. Then, on Sunday I will post a new Sunday Spotlight. I will also be posting a New Year Goals post sometime this weekend. And then next week, I'll get back to business with a topic yet to be determined.

Have a safe and fun New Year's Eve. Don't drink and drive; appoint a designated driver, if you intend to go out and drink; and be cognizant of the weather for the evening, especially here in MN. OK, I feel better now that the bossy, mom and attorney parts of me each got to speak her piece. Over and out…

Anna

In the Spirit of the Holidays: Donating to Charities and Avoiding Scams

A Giving Spirit

Once upon a time, I volunteered, freely giving of my time and money, as much as possible. I've helped build a Habitat for Humanity home; worked with those in need of basic necessities; sold (and bought) stuff to raise money for homeless pets; chaired committees, manned booths, stuffed envelopes, served meals and made phone calls all in the name of charity. And I enjoyed it.

Then, I gave birth…twice, and suddenly all of my time and money were consumed by these little beings. I tell myself that once my own little charities are in school I will have time to once again give to others. But in the meantime there are still some ways I can give without breaking the bank or stretching my already overly full schedule.

The List

There's certainly no shortage of need in this world. Everywhere you look, someone is in need of something. It could be a simple need or a "pie in the sky" request. It could be a need across the street or across the world.

I like to give locally most of the time. I know there are many needs in my metro area. I came up with a list of ways and places you can easily give, no matter where you live:

12 Ways to Give in Your Community

1. Church. I don't mean to give to a general fund or building fund, etc., but at my church there's a fund that goes directly to an organization called St. Vincent de Paul and that money goes straight to those in need of basic necessities. Find out if your church has a similar program or click to find a St. Vincent de Paul organization near you.
2. Your Child's Daycare or School. I know my Darling Boys' preschool has recently lost several grants due to lack of funding and the classrooms always have lists of needs for projects and play. Some schools might even keep lists of basic needs for students or collect clothes or coats that could be anonymously given to students.
3. Food Banks. At this time of economic struggle many households will be lacking in food this winter. A need that is often overlooked is that of kids who may have to go without breakfast and/or lunch while school is out for holiday because those families generally depend on free or reduced rate meals for the kids while they're at school.
4. Toys for Tots. These highly recognizable boxes are located in many locations. Just this last week, we saw drop off boxes where the boys get their hair cut and at our pets' veterinary office. This is an annual favorite of ours because the boys enjoy picking the toys to give.
5. An Angel Giving Tree. You are able to choose a particular child who has a particular wish for a toy and/or clothing. Last year, I chose a local angel online, picked the gift, paid for it and shipped it all from JCPenney.com on behalf of the Salvation Army. You can choose a boy or girl, an age and location, which can be local. Here is the link for that site: Salvation Army Angel Giving Trees.
6. Homeless Shelters. There are many needs at this time of year, especially in the colder regions. It's downright deadly to sleep outside here in Minnesota. This week our temperatures will struggle to get above zero, with wind chills plunging to -20 on some nights. But even if you live where it's warmer, the shelters tend to have an influx of people with basic needs at this time of year since those who can leave the colder areas travel to the warmer regions.
7. Humane Societies. Animal shelters are always in need of volunteers to help with administrative, janitorial or grooming duties, not to mention petters, snugglers and walkers. They also usually have long donation request lists.
8. Electric/Gas Companies. Yes, I know this might be the last place you would like to give extra money, but most electric and gas companies have a fund for those who, due to loss of income or illness or other event, cannot pay their electric and/or gas bills through the winter months. Here in Minnesota and other cold weather states, the electric and gas companies are prohibited from disconnecting these vital services during the winter months.
9. Police Stations/Fire Stations. Police and Firefighters collect stuffed bears for kids. The  officers keep these bears in their vehicles to give to children who are affected by a fire, domestic dispute, child abuse, etc.
10. A neighbor or acquaintance who is elderly, unemployed, suffering an illness or injury, new to the community, a veteran, etc. Take over some cookies, a meal, a card, a gift, a cup of coffee or just go over and chat. You could make someone's day. It's a big deal to make someone feel cared for and loved.
11. A local scholarship fund or one for a student from your alma mater: high school, undergrad or grad levels. Education costs continue to soar. There are many scholarship funds set up to honor a graduate of a school who died tragically; at a young age; or led a distinguished or prosperous life, etc. Check with any particular school you wish for details about such funds and how to donate to it.
12. Homeless/Jobless People Encountered Along Your Way. Keep granola bars, cracker packets or other packaged snacks in your vehicle or in your purse, brief case or backpack along with small gift cards to fast food restaurants or coffee shops to hand to homeless, jobless or otherwise desperate people you may encounter. This last point relates more to those living and/or working in metro areas.

A charitable gift doesn't have to be a large sum of money. Giving doesn't have to involve money at all. In fact, the person donating time and energy will get more from his or her time spent doing good than simply writing a check.

Avoid Getting Scammed

I used to worry about giving something to a person standing out on the corner with a sign. What if he or she used the money for drugs or alcohol or gambling or other vice? A friend recently told me, "When you give, it's from the heart. You don't have to worry how your gift is used when your intention is to offer help." And I agree with that, but at the same time there are some things to watch out for when contacted by phone, email or mail to ensure you aren't the victim of a scam.

If it's too good to be true, it probably isn't true. MSNBC.com recently published a list of the 12 Cyber Scams of Christmas. This information is a great reminder to use caution while shopping online for good deals, opening and clicking on links in email, and using personal information online to purchase, etc.

The Educated Giver

According to Mary Pilon from the Wall Street Journal, "There are two forms donors should request from charities before writing a check: the federal Form 990 and a charity's annual financial statement, which lay out assets, liabilities and the amount spent on fund-raising and programs related to a group's mission. Both are filed annually." You can either request the information from the charity organization or check out a site like Charity Navigator.

Charity Navigator has evaluated over 5,500 of the largest charities in the country. You can also find great tips about information to get before donating, how to handle a phone solicitor calling for a charity, etc.

In that same WSJ article, Mr. Bennett Weiner, chief operating officer of the BBB Wise Giving Alliance, is quoted as saying, "Donors should look beyond financial statements to judge a charity's effectiveness. Solely focusing on financial ratios provides in some cases a false positive." So, in the end, it's a combination of how the charitable organization uses its finances and how well it serves its purpose. Do the research and then go with your gut feeling.

The Scoop

Who can you trust? It's hard to know. Just last week, the Minnesota Attorney General's Office filed suit against Discover card for scamming its cardholders out of millions of dollars with deceptive telemarketing. Ironically, the lawsuit's charge alleges that Discover fraudulently enrolled thousands of consumers into financial products meant to protect consumers against credit card fraud. Not that I would expect any of you savvy people to trust a credit card company. Even still, is it possible to be cautious, yet giving?

In the giving mood right now? Please give me your thoughts about charitable donations or anything else that strikes you. On Wednesday, I will post tips for raising charitable kids in our greedy society. Over and out…

Anna

You might also like:

Our Comfortable Connection: The Information You Post Online Could Be Used Against You

Black Friday Temptations: U.S. Toy Safety Standards

Stand in the Place Where You Live, Think About the Earth and Wonder Why You Haven’t Before

Too Many Toys: Tips for Buying the “Safest” Toys & Checking for Recalls

Child Psychology In Reverse

Two years ago, I bought the book "Too Many Toys" by David Shannon, thinking it would be a good way to start a dialogue on giving away toys that aren't played with anymore. Wrong. I thought we had too many toys then. Wrong again. That was two year ago, Darling 2 was just a few weeks old. He had not even begun to add his own toys to the stash. Now, here we are, two year later, still with too many toys! (Please note this is exclusively the opinion of the parent in this case)

The premise of the book is that the boy, Spencer, has too many toys. Yes, I 'm sure you got that part already, but there's more. He gets toys from everyone, from grandparents to the dentist. Spencer never gets rid of any of them. That is, until one day when his mom has absolutely had enough of stepping on the toys, and then it's much more difficult than she ever imagined because Spencer begins to negotiate what stays and what goes. It's a cute book, and I thought it was a good tool. And it was, but not in the way I had planned.

Darling 1 quickly caught on to what the story was really about and what I was trying to do. And even more quickly memorized the book, and still, after two years, uses Spencer's lines against me. His favorite, "but I LOVE ALLLLLLL my toys" (said with big, sad eyes and in a pleading, drawn out, pitiful voice). This scene is played out every time I ever say anything about all of their toys and how we should go through them to see if there are any toys we could get rid of.

How Many is Too Many?

The thing is, my Darlings do have too many toys, but they do play with them all. And as soon I think there is a toy that they haven't played with in a while, along comes one or the other and plays with that toy for 2 days straight. Mind you, I said, as soon as I think it. It's as if they can read my thoughts (well, actually sometimes I think they can, but that's another story). I have managed to smuggle a few things down to the basement and hide them away until they can be donated, etc.

They won't even get rid of the broken toys. Case in point, Buzz Lightyear, see photo from Monday's post. He is now headless, wingless, missing one hand, wrapped in masking tape and tied up with a yo-yo, but don't you dare for one intergalactic moment think he's headed for the trash. Oh no, Darling 1 is working on making him a new head and thinking of how to give him a new hand. He'll be as good as new very soon, or so I'm told.

Now don't get me wrong. I love to watch the Darlings construct elaborate storylines and play with the hundreds of stuffed animals, hordes of Little People and McDonald Happy Meal Movie Character toys, legions of cars, trucks and planes and every single Pixar character in their play room, um, I mean, my living room, but I have to draw the line somewhere. I just don't know where that line is yet.

The Dangers of Toys

What I do worry about is lead paint covered toys, tiny batteries, magnets and other small ingestible items. I try to watch for recalls and inspect our toys for loose pieces (or broken off heads and hands, etc.), chipping paint and other dangers. There have been so many toys recalled in the last several years. Many of the recalls were due to the level of lead in the paint used.

Fortunately, the U.S. has responded to these recalls and other issues by tightening the standards and has seen promising results.

Tips for Buying Safe Toys

Here are CPSC's Top Safe Shopping Tips for this year:

• Magnets – For children under age six, avoid building sets with small magnets. If swallowed, serious injuries and/or death can occur.
• Small Parts – For children younger than age three, avoid toys with small parts, which can cause choking.
• Ride-on Toys – Riding toys, skateboards and in-line skates go fast and falls could be deadly. Helmets and safety gear should be sized to fit.
• Projectile Toys – Projectile toys such as air rockets, darts and sling shots are for older children. Improper use of these toys can result in serious eye injuries.
• Chargers and Adapters – Charging batteries should be supervised by adults. Chargers and adapters can pose thermal burn hazards to children.

CPSC also recommends using the following tips to help choose appropriate toys for children:

• Be a label reader. Look for toy labels that give age and safety recommendations and use that information as a guide.
• Select toys to suit the age, abilities, skills and interest level of the intended child. Look for sturdy construction, such as tightly-secured eyes, noses and other potential small parts.
• For all children under 8, avoid toys that have sharp edges and points.

Once the gifts are open:

• Immediately discard plastic wrappings on toys before they become dangerous play things.
• Keep toys appropriate for older children away from younger siblings or neighbors.
• Pay attention to instructions and warnings on battery chargers. Some chargers lack any device to prevent overcharging.

Source: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml07/07032.html

Additional tips from CPSC:

To help keep what has been called the most wonderful time of the year happy and incident-free, CPSC is encouraging consumers to adopt a three-pronged safety approach."

1. Which Toy for Which Child – Always choose age appropriate toys.
2. Gear Up for Safety – Include safety gear whenever shopping for sports-related gifts or ride-on toys, including bicycles, skates, and scooters.
3. Location, Location, Location – Be aware of your child's surroundings during play. Young children should avoid playing with ride-on toys near automobile traffic, pools or ponds. They also should avoid playing in indoor areas associated with hazards such as kitchens and bathrooms and in rooms with corded window blinds.

Source: http://cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml11/11042.html

Websites

• Check the CPSC's site for recalls: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/category/toy.html
• Check The Toy Association's site for all kinds of toy information, from safety to top toys to recalls to parent discussions on playing and toys: http://www.toyassociation.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=TINFO_Home
• For Toy Standards from around the world and agency contact information , check the International Council of Toy Industries site: http://www.toy-icti.org/info/toysafetystandards.html

The Scoop

It's trite and often goes unheeded, but CPSC swears by its "small parts regulations" that have been in place for more than three decades. You know, the warning on toy packaging that cautions of small parts and gives the age the toy is inappropriate for. It's a simple warning, and I have to admit, I rarely look at those warnings on packages. However, I do check toys for small pieces and put those away for a time when the Darlings are older. It's difficult with two children of two very different ages on the development spectrum. At age 2, Darling 2 is still likely to "mouth" small objects.

So, be cautious, be vigilant and have fun shopping this holiday season. How do ensure your kids' toys are safe? Do you watch for recalls? Does it matter to you whether a toy is made in the U.S. or China or New Zealand or Timbuktu? I feel like it mattered more to me when the Darlings were babies. Now it seems like it's all about which toys they want – plastic, commercialized, made in China!

Check back tomorrow for the $40 Caribou Coffee Gift Card Giveaway! On Friday, I post a bit of Motherly Advice. Over and out…

Anna

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