Hanging By a Thread

Oh Captain! My Captain!

My heart hurts. My chest feels heavy. I didn't know him, but I laughed with him and cried with him. He made me think and feel and question. And I mourn his death and the deep pain and sadness he must have felt. And I feel a loss in this great big world.

I know I'm not alone in this. When word that Robin Williams was dead reached Facebook, my stream lit up with photos, quotes, tributes and video clips of this funny, humble, passionate man.

I will not presume to know or understand all the internal demons that Mr. Williams faced throughout his life, but I do know that he left a deep impression on the lives of those who watched him on screen.

But why do we weep and mourn for this person we didn't even know -- this endearing figure who danced across the small screen and large screen entertaining us?

I think, in this case, that Mr. Williams made us really feel life….the ups and the downs…he made us really think and take stock of our own lives…he made us laugh and cry and strive for more. His performances felt genuine and true. He was always vulnerable in his roles; a real, tangible spirit…someone each of us could relate to. He wasn't just playing a role; he became that person for us, the viewers. We believed in him.

He wasn't perfect. None of us are. He made mistakes. We all do.

I can't speak to his reasons or his mind frame or anything going on in his life or mind, but I can say with certainty, Robin Williams will be missed, but not forgotten.

I have an incredible urge to watch Dead Poet Society (my favorite) just to see his face with that smirky smile he always wore that seemed to say "I have a really wonderful secret" and hear that distinctive voice and soak it all up. And I can't wait until my boys are older to introduce them to him through this film and others.

I can still remember the first time I ever laid eyes on Mr. Williams. I was in 1^st grade. I had gone over to a friend's house for the evening. After dinner the TV was on….we didn't have a television in our home until I was 12… Mork & Mindy was playing on the TV that evening. I was intrigued…I laughed…this funny little man captivated me.

And that's what his secret was I think. He understood us all and knew how to reach us and captivate us even if he didn't know how to quiet the noise in his head. The way he touched our hearts and understood us made us love him and feel that he stood with us.

My prayer is for Mr. Williams' family and friends that they may have peace and feel the love that is surrounding them. My prayer is for those who personally understand the pain and suffering that Mr. Williams experienced that they might find peace and understanding in life. My prayer is for all of us to live big and passionately and truthfully with a smirky smile that says, "I have a really wonderful secret!"

Now, to introduce my kids to the wonderful, sometimes wacky, world of Robin Williams. And take note of the words of Walt Whitman's Oh Captain! My Captain! poem here. Over and out…

Anna

Related articles

Have a Little Faith {My Prayer List}

Friends with a Purpose {Fading Away}

Superheroes {Believe}

My son tells me he wants to be Iron Man when he grows up; as in, be a billionaire genius who flies around in an iron suit, saving the world.

My other son tells me his favorite superhero is Green Arrow, as he stands in front of me in his dark green hoodie, holding his Native American styled bow and arrow. Not bad choices; two of my favorites, I'll admit.

There have been quite a number of superheroes march through the pages of comic books, saving the world on the small screen and big screen alike, racking up the fans and inspiring new stories and new superheroes.

Lately, we have been particularly obsessed with superheroes; Iron Man, Batman, Captain America, Thor, Green Lantern, Spiderman, Green Arrow, Superman, Wonder Woman, the Hulk and the list goes on.

Why is this?

What is it about these masked, costumed, larger than life, super strength humans {and a few aliens}, swinging, flying, crouching through the dark of the night, waiting to save us, mere mortals, from the big, dark, ugly evil of the world that makes us love them so?

These superheroes are generally handsome, good-natured, misunderstood and witty. They often have the financial means or influence to get the tools and technology necessary to foil the enemy. But they are not immune from love and loss, pain and suffering; they feel joy and hurt, just as we do.

Our world has been full of hate, terror, mistrust, uncertainty and despair in the last few years, and it seems to be growing. We are looking for salvation, an answer, an escape from a bleak outlook.

Is it any wonder there has been a surge in our wonderment, adoration and devotion of these mysterious figures?

Really, the only difference between us and them is their resolve and drive to right the wrongs committed by the dark evil surrounding us in this world. They train their bodies and minds; they keep their eyes on the goal; they allow themselves to feel the pain and suffering of others. No matter the blows, the broken bones and spirits, they keep getting up and fighting back.

Despite their goodness at heart, honorable intentions and super hero feats, the ruling powers that be generally call them vigilantes, criminals, trouble-makers or worse when they first come crashing into the scene.

The people are skeptical; it's in our nature to question anything new or different. We have trouble accepting that there could actually be superheroes in our midst; those with pure intentions, big hearts, selfless souls, willing to lose everything if this evil can be defeated.

We need this. We need to believe in superheroes. We need to see the superhero in those who fight for good, who stand up for freedom, who walk the walk and talk the talk, with purity of heart and soul. They are out there; they wear their disguises well. Have you seen any?

They may not wear {visible} capes or hoods; they may not carry weapons or sling webs or come from Krypton. They may not be billionaires. They may not be larger than life.

They do put others first, believe in their causes, refuse to give up and deeply, passionately feel everything. They are not swayed by disappointments, setbacks, disabilities or losses. They are often misunderstood and overlooked. They are determined; you can see this in their eyes.

Believe. Believe in a better world. Believe and keep watching for those superheroes. You might even be one of them. Over and out…

Anna

House Rules: Dropping the F-Bomb {On a Soapbox}

Dirty Words

Each household has its own version of "Seven Dirty Words." Often words like "shut up" or "poopy head" or "stupid" or "fart" are on this list. Of course, there's the R rated adult versions too; you know the words I'm talking about. I don't think I have to outline George Carlin's list of words you can never say on TV {or in this case, in front of your child}.

This week's episode of Modern Family that aired on Wednesday drew much fire before it aired because it was to have a toddler saying her first expletive. "Lily" is actually saying "fudge." The word was to be bleeped out and her mouth obscured by pixilation during that portion of the episode.

A Parenting Thing

An 18 year old college student who began the "No Cussing Club" in 2007 was asking ABC to pull this episode due to the F word issue. ABC had no comment, but the creator and executive producer of the sitcom told the Television Critics Association that he was "proud and excited" about this plotline. He added that the show is not sexually charged; instead this is a very natural story since most parents have been through this scenario.

I agree. Who among us hasn't experienced an awkward situation when the 2 year old says a naughty word {over and over} while in public or an older child, trying to assert his or her power tries on an adult size naughty word in front of grandma, having overheard it from mom, dad, the babysitter, the TV, older cousins, from classmates, etc. OK, we both know that more than likely the offending source was one of the parents. But, sometimes it's not me {for the record}.

I know I've certainly been there when the toddler won't heed your glares and silent threats to stop the shouts of "poopy head" as you careen up and down the aisles of Target trying to keep your head low and get in and out when nothing works to quell the 2 or 3 year-old's loud outbursts. {And FYI, I don't say poopy head...that one seems to have come from the preschool set.}

Naughty Words

Whether you're one to drop the so-called f-bomb or substitute fiddlesticks or fudgesicles or shitake {mushrooms}, fashizzle or some other word, you still mean the same thing and it carries the same impetus. You're kids aren't dumb; they know what you mean. And in my opinion, it's the same thing, regardless of the word you use. {But that is actually an entirely different argument than the one I mean to make here.}

The point here is that this is a "parent thing"; something the 18 year-old "King of the No Cussing Club" wouldn't know anything about. In fact, if anything, parenthood has actually increased my inclination to use words from Carlin's Dirty Word List; well, parenting and golfing.

Kids will repeat the naughty words you use; no matter what you classify as a "bad word." This is a lesson that you and your child will have to learn; probably many times over through the years. This is an area we've already visited...several times.

The Scoop

Friends, no need to comment about my {sometimes public} lessons I've learned on this topic.... Oh, and Your Royal Highness of No Cussing, all you did was get more people to watch this episode. I don't normally watch Modern Family or any TV for that matter, but you have now drawn attention to this particular episode and the sitcom altogether. In the name of class, I'm resisting the urge to include an expletive laced witty title, but I've got some good ones. Over and out....

Anna

Rudolph The Rich Reindeer: A Quite Different & Slightly Legal Version of Rudy the Red-Nosed Reindeer

You Only Think You Know This Story

You may be familiar with the story of a little reindeer named Rudolph who happened to be born with a birth defect. His nose, instead of being black like other reindeer, was big and red and even glowed like a light bulb.

His red nose didn't bother him or hinder him in any way. Rudy grew and developed just like any other little reindeer, but then one day he went to play with the others. Well, you can imagine how the young reindeer girls and boys teased Rudy about his nose. They had never seen such a nose before and they treated him as an outcast.

Reindeer Have Feelings Too

Well, actually it was even worse than making him feel like an outcast. They didn't ever leave him alone. They made jokes about him; they taunted him; they butted him with their little antlers; and they called him names. They were ruthless in the way they bullied poor Rudy. The other cruel reindeer basically cut him off from all reindeer contact; completely isolating him from society.

His father, Donner, was one of Santa's top reindeer. He didn't understand his son with the red nose and didn't think much of the teasing. Donner, a big, strong jock buck, simply told his son to "buck up" and butt back, which really wasn't very supportive.

Rudy ended up quite depressed. He wouldn't eat; he had trouble sleeping; he felt hopeless; and he refused to go to school or out to play with the other young reindeer. Instead, he spent all of his time in his room listening to Britney Spears' Blackout album over and over, which just made him feel worse about his troubles. He sat on his bed with his lights off and his red nose lighting the room.

Santa owned all of the reindeer and he was aware of Rudy's red nose and the physical and mental bullying that went on. In all his years of reindeer ownership he had never seen such a nose. He considered him to be a weak link, an embarrassment and just didn't care how he was treated. In fact, he himself, that right jolly old elf, even gave a hearty "ho, ho, ho" over some of the cruel jokes and nicknames for Rudy, which Rudy heard. Having Santa against him was the last nail in the coffin.

The Lawsuit

Rudy decided to consult with the outcast elf, Hermey, who originally wanted to be a dentist, but after realizing that you have to stick your hands in other elves' mouths, decided to become an attorney and represent the down trodden and outcast characters in the World of Fiction. Hermey decided that Rudy had a good case for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress.

While this cause of action is typically quite difficult to prove, Hermey felt that with the specific instances of ridicule and Rudy's doctor certified bouts of depression, Rudy had a good case. Hermey had to show:

1. Santa and his reindeer, hereinafter referred to as Defendants, acted intentional or recklessly; and
2. Defendants' conduct was extreme and outrageous; and
3. Defendants' actions were the cause of the distress; and
4. Rudolph T. Reindeer, hereinafter referred to as Plaintiff, suffers severe emotional distress as a result of Defendants' conduct.

Hermey was a very good attorney with a very convincing argument, and Rudy won the lawsuit.

Part of the damages awarded to Rudy included the right of first refusal to lead Santa's team of reindeer on foggy Christmas Eves as long as he is able. Additional damages included having a Christmas song, children's story and movie written about Rudy's plight as an outcast reindeer due to his uniqueness. The movie must be played on every television channel at least once during the Christmas holiday season for eternity. Of course, Santa had to pay 3.4 million dollars in damages, as well.

The Scoop

So, what happened to poor Rudy? Why he went down in history as the first {but not the last} reindeer to sue Santa and win. But the newly wealthy Rudy didn't let it all go to his nose....er, um, I mean head. No, he became an advocate for all special needs and bullied cartoon and book characters.

Rudy went on to work the speaker's circuit, charging half a million to speak. He became the wealthiest, best known reindeer ever. And Hermey....why, he never wanted for clients again. He became the Gloria Allred of fictional characters. And they all lived happily ever after....except for Santa, perhaps. Over and out...

Anna

Why I stopped Watching the News

Bad News

I used to watch the news on TV. Then, I moved on to reading the news online. And then I stopped altogether. I listen to Minnesota Public Radio for local breaking news. I check weather.com for weather updates. I see bits and pieces and links to news in tweets. And I read The Week magazine back to front for news from around the world.

Last night when I was thinking about what I was going to write about this week, I decided to check a national news website for inspiration. I found out that a teenage boy had been lured to a home by other teenagers and viciously murdered in Florida. I learned that a young, female, real estate agent in Iowa was found shot in a model home and later died at the hospital. I read about a mom and her daughter who were found murdered in their apartment in New York. One story always leads to another similarly bloody, terrible story. I saw a headline about a bomb and a mall and a suspect in Colorado, and then I left that site.

I decided that the local news must be better on Easter Sunday. On a local Twin Cities news site, I read about a girl in critical condition who was accidentally shot by her father when his gun jammed while shooting targets and he was attempting to fix it in the home. I found out a woman was sexually assaulted while jogging early Saturday morning in an upscale suburb. And then, I remembered why I stopped reading the news.

Irrational, but Comforting Reasoning

I hate to read these stories of tragedy, picture the evilness unfolding and see the happy, smiling photos of the now murdered, missing or broken. And yet, I read these stories... every single one I see a headline for or hear about and look up online. I read these stories searching for any detail that I can find to set me and my family apart from the victim of the story. I read these stories to know how the person attacked, taken or killed came to be in this situation.

If they live in a different area of the country or live in a bad neighborhood or run with the wrong crowd or are involved in drugs or commit crimes or have relatives who did these things or work in risky industries or this or that then they are not like me and these things won't happen to me. Irrational? Yes, but it gives me a bit of peace while I try to protect my family from the wolves of this world.

And what if they are not unlike me? What if I can relate to these victims? What if the crime occurred too close for comfort or happened to a mom, a dad, a kid or a whole family? Then, I scour the article for details spelling out exactly how this crime occurred so that I can try to ensure I'm never in this situation or so that I can warn my kids to never do this or always do that.

An Intense Imagination

These stories fuel my imagination, are forever burned into my mind's eye and tug at my heartstrings. Until I became a mom, I could handle it better. It always bothered me, but there were years that I watched all the crime shows and TV news magazine shows, like Dateline and 48 Hours. I was consumed by these issues during law school years and when I worked in the courts, but often it was not hard to differentiate myself from the persons involved in these violent crimes.

I tend to be an empathetic, passionate, analytical person and these traits have only become sharper with the births of my Darling Boys. If you aren't an intense, passionate, type-A personality you're probably shaking your head, perplexed by my paranoia, or laughing at my methods; and that's OK. As the saying goes, to each his own. But if you are like me, you know what I write of.

The Scoop

I send up prayers of sadness and hope for the aforementioned people and their families. I send up prayers questioning why these horrible things must happen. I send up prayers of thankfulness that my family has safely made it through another week.

For now, I'm going to stick with MPR and The Week for my news and shield myself from these horrendous stories. Am I alone in these thoughts and feelings; or can you relate? This week's schedule is crazy for our household. So, it's going to be a week of variety on Motherly Law. Over and out...

Anna

You might also like:

The Cautious Approach to Life: Tips for Teaching Your Kids Gun Safety

When Staying Isn’t an Option: Tips for Identifying an Abuser and Leaving an Abusive Relationship

There but for the Grace of God, Go I: Tips and Websites for Keeping Your Child Safe In and Around Vehicles

Sharing Resources: Stalking Awareness Month Part III

Deciphering What's Real and What's Not

Sometimes posts get noticed by PR firms, other social media platforms and persons interested in the subject of the post. Sometimes I ignore the PR firms when they want me to share their clients' products, services, etc with my readers and I don't think it's beneficial or relevant to my readers. Sometimes I don't ignore them; sometimes the information is relevant. Somtimes it's hard to tell if an email that seems sincere is really junk mail.

Making an Impact

I'm always appreciative of the social media platforms who want to link to, mention, promote or otherwise spotlight Motherly Law. And new readers are especially welcome. I love hearing from someone who tells me how much she or he enjoyed a post; how great the concept of Motherly Law is; or thanks me for writing on a particular topic. I also want to hear from those who don't agree with me, have ideas for improving Motherly Law or want to suggest a follow-up post topic, etc.

When I hear from the people, I know I am making an impact {even if it's just one person}. And that makes it worth the very late nights and juggling paid work, mommy duties, "domestic goddess" duties, family duties and all that goes along with blogging. My goals are to enlighten the reader, engage the reader, embolden the reader and sometimes entertain the reader.

Yesterday, www.blogHer.com featured one of my posts on Stalking Awareness Month. Many people read and shared that post. I am hopeful that it touched a few of those who read it, whether it helped a person understand that she or he is being stalked, gave confidence to someone being stalked by informing her or him of some resources to explore or simply educated a person about what stalking is, how often it occurs and how it affects a person being stalked.

Investigation Discovery

This morning Investigation Discovery contacted me and asked me to pass along some information about a program on stalking they are premiering on Monday. They have partnered with NCVC (www.ncvc.org) on this series. I think this program is another great way to educate yourself about stalking, the seriousness of this crime and the repercussions it has on all involved. So, this time I will not ignore the PR request:

STALKED: SOMEONE'S WATCHING
PREMIERES MON, JAN 24 at 10:30PM ET/PT

With over 3 million people falling victim to stalking in the US each year, this widely misunderstood crime reaches far beyond celebrities and people in the public eye.  

STALKED: SOMEONE'S WATCHING profiles six emotional stories of stalking victims and explores the twisted psychology of the people who relentlessly pursued them.

The story featured in our premiere episode, "Nowhere to Run" contributed directly to January being designated in the United States as National Stalking Awareness Month. Peggy Klinke's family has transformed her tragic death into a rallying cry to strengthen stalking legislation, educate law enforcement and inform the general public about resources available to victims (episode description below).

The stories covered in STALKED: SOMEONE'S WATCHING include:
- intimate partners stalking their former loves;
- neighbors who become compulsively vindictive as friendships cross the line;
- and, acts of relatively random stalking where the culprit barely knows their victim or where their interest develops from a seemingly harmless crush into a dangerous obsession

Additional resources:
- www.InvestigationDiscovery.com/stalked
- Investigation Discovery's partner, The National Center for Victims of Crime (NCVC), operates the Stalking Resource Center, (www.NCVC.org/src), which features comprehensive materials

Episode 1 description: Nowhere to Run

28 year old medical student Peggy Klinke thinks she's met the love of her life in her boyfriend Patrick Kennedy… but she couldn't have been more wrong. Patrick is manipulative and controlling, and after three years of emotional abuse, Peggy finally breaks it off.  But Patrick won't let her go that easily; he begins stalking her every move. Unfortunately, New Mexico's stalking laws are not strong enough to protect Peggy, so she has no choice but to take matters into her own hands. Can she find a way to put Patrick behind bars before he is able to harm her? Follow Dr. Michelle Ward as she guides you through the terrors of Peggy's all-too-real story.

The Scoop

If you watch this program please let me know what you thought of it: was it well done, educational, over-dramatized, etc? I would love to hear from you about this or any other post, issue or thought you may have concerning Motherly Law. I'm still going to write the Cyberstalking post, but I think it will be on Monday now. I will have a bit of Motherly Advice on Friday and another Burning Question topic over the weekend. Over and out…

Anna

If you missed my other posts on Stalking Awareness Month this week, here are the links to those posts:

 Know It. Name It. Stop It. Stalking Awareness Month Part II

Crossing the Line: Stalking Awareness Month