Hanging By a Thread

Nanny Files {A Public Advert}

We're looking for a part-time nanny to start ASAP! We have failed to find a good fit since our beloved Katrina left the country to teach school! So, I thought long and hard, and this is what I came up with. Here's my description of the perfect {or nearly so} candidate for this position in our home:

Please don't apply unless you fit the following points:

1. MOST IMPORTANT! Must adore – and I stress ADORE – dogs, cats and boys!!
2. In college with 2 afternoons available (give or take a bit, noon to 5) and some evenings on the rather rare occasion that the Dear Husband and I get to have a date night;
3. Should be kinder and more patient than I am;
4. Enjoy playing at the park or in the yard, weather permitting;
5. Know the difference between Captain America and Captain Rex;
6. Enjoy sports;
7. Understand boys and the rough parts and tender parts;
8. Understand me and get along with me, the mom {not difficult at all if you are the right one for this job};
9. Realize that chaos and order can both reside simultaneously in one small home;
10. Not freak out about a little {or a lot} of Saint Bernard slime on your clothes; it happens...frequently. Relax, we have towels;
11. Really and truly like our family;
12. Have a sense of humor and a sharp wit and a knack for sarcasm;
13. Understand the 5 food groups and preparing a balanced meal/snack;
14. Have a vehicle of your own!
15. NOT text/talk/use for any purpose your phone while operating a vehicle – or at least be willing to adhere to this strict rule when any member of my family is in the vehicle or within viewing distance of you;
16. Understand the importance of picking up....toys, crumbs, crayons, bits of paper, dishes, etc;
17. NOT smoke;
18. Not show up earlier than your scheduled start time.

Am I asking too much? Is this list much too Mary Poppinsish? Perhaps, but maybe, just maybe there's another Katrina out there for our family!

If this sounds like you, then we just might be the family for you! Please email me ([email protected]) ASAP for more information about this position! I look forward to chatting with you!

Dear local readers, if you know of anyone who fits this description, please do forward this to that person!

Thanks,

Anna

St. Violet: Putting it All in God’s Hands

A year ago, our family lost our beloved St. Bernard, Benjamin. We still feel this loss; we still talk about our Ben; we still laugh about special memories; and sometimes shed tears for our boy. We always will.

But as we rounded the corner to Fall and got closer to marking the year without Ben, we began to talk about getting another Saint. Could we? Should we? There were lots of questions to be answered.

We all decided we were ready to find our next family addition; that is, one with a tail and fur and preferably one with lots of slob, like our Benjamin. We started to put out some feelers online; searching for the right breeder or perhaps a rescue, as Ben had been.

But St. Bernards are not cheap, and we're on a budget. So, after a while of looking online, sending a few emails, following a few leads that turned to dead ends, I decided it was time to put it in God's hands. I asked that He take the issue and just let us know when He had the right dog for us.

One week later, Will got an email from the breeder who had Ben's sister. Several weeks prior to this Will had emailed them when he saw that Ben's sister had died; telling the story of how we came to get Ben and to say that we had enjoyed looking at the photos on their site over the years and that we were sorry to see that Layla had died. They had replied to Will then, but this new email came with an offer.

They had recently rescued one of their dogs from a buyer who was no longer able to care for her; she was 2.5 years old; turns out she was Ben's great niece. They wanted to know, "Would we take her; no charge?"

Well, for me, this was an answer from God. She needed us; she was our dog. And so we answered a resounding "YES!" even though I thought our next dog was a male puppy. Sometimes, God has other plans though, and I could see that this was it.

So, meet our Saint Violet; as in, Violet Parr from The Incredibles. She resembles Violet Parr in more than the black mask; she was timid and unsure of herself when she came to us, needing lots of love and assurance. But over the last month, Violet has begun to build her confidence, realize that we love her and that this is her forever home.

She is the answer to our prayers as we gaze on her sprawled out on the floor and see our Ben; hear her resonating snore through the night and hear our Ben; and love on that giant, cuddly, slobbery head and feel our Benjamin's strong, but soft and gentle leaning hugs.

We needed her as much as she needed us. We're still getting used to each other, but she adores us, is protective of her boys, is working out how to play with Teddy, the kitten, and is slowly bonding with her new "sister" Abby. And we have been reminded of the challenges of living with a great, slobbery dog; the slime flip flapping everywhere, the water all over the floor, the frequency with which one must buy large bags of dog food and the urgency of picking up the yard often.

Nonetheless, on this Thanksgiving, we feel thankful for God's grace in all parts of our life this year, including our very own St. Violet. Happy Thanksgiving! Over and out...

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {About Life and Kittens}

Last November, we lost our dear, sweet, giant St. Bernard, Ben. In June, we lost our 17 year old black cat, Jazz, who was my guy. While we still mourn the deaths of these incredible pets, I decided we needed another little black kitten in our home again {and eventually we'll get another loving puppy}.

We quickly found a few on petfinder.com, but when I saw this guy I knew it was right. After having cats for almost 38 years, I can look into those shiny green or amber eyes and know...something I had a hard time convincing my husband of, but it's true.

Years ago, while in college, Will and I started with cats, graduated to dogs and eventually added the boys. So, our children have always been surrounded by older, many of them nurturing, pets. It was with great excitement that we added a tiny Jazzy cat look-alike late this summer.

It took the boys a bit to adjust to this teeny, playful, cuddly kitten, and Darling 2 was even a tad jealous of the new baby in the house. All is well now, and we all love our kitten, Teddy.

Our household needed some new energy; some joy; and we got it when we added this kitten. Here are 5 things you should know about kittens;

1. There is nothing more joyous, more enthusiastic, more curious than a little kitten when playing, exploring; figuring things out;
2. Kittens don't know they are tiny; they think that when they puff and arch and march sideways they are intimidating and tough and the size of at least a small lion;
3. Kittens don't give up; even when rejected by older, grumpier cats, or when their plots and plans are foiled to attack something or open something or reach something, they just keep coming back and trying again;
4. Kittens really know how to enjoy a nap; and
5. Kittens freely give and receive love and attention.

We could all learn something from watching kittens. Life is actually pretty simple; we just tend to complicate matters and get tangled up in our messes. Over and out...

Anna

My Life...So Far {38 Lessons}

Life is a constant lesson. Just when you think you've got a hold on it and you've learned everything the world can teach you, a new saga begins. But without these adventures, trials, heartbreaks and triumphs life would be dull and lifeless; at least that's what I keep telling myself.

I have lived almost 38 years on this earth, and I've been thinking about the lessons I've learned over the years. And here they are; 39 of them:

1. Stepping out of your comfort zone is always worth it;
2. Quietly taking in your surroundings and evaluating the situation can be very helpful in future dealings;
3. Always take each opportunity that comes your way; it may not present itself ever again;
4. Surround yourself with pets; you will always feel loved and understood, even when the world doesn't get you;
5. Be true to yourself; this can be hard when your heart falls hard and leads the way {in the wrong direction};
6. Fall in love, even if it might mean getting hurt; it's worth it;
7. Stand up for what you believe is right;
8. Never compromise when it means giving up on a dream;
9. Even if dreams have to be shelved for a while, don't let them stay on the shelf so long that they become unrecognizable;
10. Never give up...not ever; not even on the darkest nights; the morning will come;
11. When one road is closed, start searching for alternate routes....there's always at least one;
12. Be your own cheerleader;
13. You can always come home...or call home; my parents are my rock, my life support, my ultimate fans;
14. My relationship with my brother is one of the most important ones in my life;
15. My sorority sisters are my sisters and true friends; I love them and when I'm with them we are still 20 and the years and miles between us are erased;
16. My husband does more for me, our family and our home than most husbands do, and I should show more appreciation than I do;
17. Brand new love is the most exciting, but old love is the most reassuring;
18. Love at first sight...or first dance...or first conversation happens;
19. Say what you mean and mean what you say;
20. Sometimes it's best to bite your tongue and leave a few things unsaid {a tough lesson for me};
21. Life can be disappointing, but whether it continues to be disappointing is up to you;
22. Loss hurts...acknowledge it....feel it...grieve and then get back to living life;
23. Take a chance...again....and again...and again;
24. Move...live in different cities... states...countries, if you can;
25. Being a mom has filled my life, but being a mom is not my whole life;
26. Be present; soak up the here and now because the days, months and years fly by;
27. Kids complicate things, bring out the best and worst, but the joy they add and lessons they teach are worth it;
28. Waiting to have kids was one of the best things we did for our marriage;
29. Never miss the chance to tell your child you love him;
30. Advocate for your children; you know them better than anyone else;
31. Always say you're sorry when you've made a mistake or said something that was hurtful;
32. Swallow your pride; you won't choke on it, but you'll end up playing the part of the pompous fool if you don't;
33. Dance anytime you have a chance....who cares what you look like {this took me a long time to realize};
34. Pray without ceasing;
35. Believe in miracles;
36. Speak from your heart; everyone has something important to say; don't be afraid to tell your story;
37. Sleep when you can;
38. Read only books you love; books that speak to you; otherwise, you're wasting your time; and one to grow on....
39. You don't have to live every minute of every day because that's exhausting, but do your best to live while you can.

I think I pretty much covered the big ones, but there are more, of course. And I the older I get the more transparent the life lessons become. What has life taught you? Over and out...

Anna

Jazz: The Brightest of Eyes {An Obituary}

One morning back in the late summer of 1995, I woke up determined to get a kitten of my own on that day. I had just started my junior year of college. I was living in a tiny efficiency apartment. It felt empty without a cat. I had never in my life been without a cat until I left home to start college. Two years without feline companionship was enough for me.

I quickly realized it was a holiday; Labor Day. The humane society was closed. No, I couldn't possibly wait one day more. My friend, Julie, and I found a small pet store that was open. We were on a mission.

There was one kitten left from a litter. He was completely black with just a whisper of white hair on his chest and in his armpits. He had brilliantly shining golden eyes that didn't miss a thing; they never did. He was small, long-bodied and scrawny with giant ears and a extra long tail. He was almost two months old.

He was mine. I knew it immediately.

He was spirited from the git-go; pushing his head through the cardboard box they gave me to transport him home. He established right away that he would not be held back; his strong will would prevail.

He may have been scrawny and terrified of missing a meal, as if food had been withheld from him at some point in his short life, but he was always sleek and beautiful.

I named him Jazz. Over time, Jazz was also Joe, Joby, Jazzy Joe, Jazzbo and eventually yaz by the baby boys.

My Jazzy was a complicated soul. He was a difficult kitten; erratic and moody. Jazz had the broadest range of emotions of any cat I've ever known, and I've known a lot of cats. But, he was also sweet and cuddly. I knew with patience, love, tender care and companionship he would grow into a fine cat.

And I was right.

He was smart; very smart. He knew how to get what he wanted and to communicate his wishes to the "dumb humans" in his life.

One night while I sat studying, Jazz found a scrap of discarded paper that I had crumpled into a ball on the floor. He brought it to me and dropped it into my lap, standing and waiting for me to act. I instinctively threw the paper for him to chase.

I was surprised when he brought the paper back to me and dropped it in my lap again. This became our game. It was easy for me to throw paper balls for him while I studied and he got to run and chase and play.

It became the norm to find balls of crumpled paper under the couch, the fridge, the bed and in piles on the floor. This went on for the rest of college, all of law school and beyond.

Not long after I got Jazz, my sorority big sis gave me a little plush red devil for Halloween. Jazz immediately befriended that red devil. He wrestled him, slept and cuddled up with him and dragged him around the apartment. Red devil was almost as big as Jazz back then. He loved that red devil.

Eventually, red devil lost his cape, his leather-looking boots, his plastic pitchfork and the stuffing from his feet, but Jazz never stopped loving his friend. Until the very end, Jazz carried his red devil around when he was lonesome or bored or worried about something. His little red buddy was a constant comfort for him.

There are so many interesting, poignant stories about Jazz that I will treasure always.

Jazz grew and grew and grew. He was a big, fat, sleek cat. So beautiful; so faithful; so cuddly. He loved his cat sister and brother, teaching them the rules of the house and was always watchful for their safety. He tolerated the dogs joining the family and grew to love them too; sometimes even sleeping on his dog sister, Abby. Jazz was endlessly patient with the human baby boy that came along when he was 11 and accepting of the second baby boy when he was 13.

He slept on me in my bed most of the nights of his life. He loved human contact, especially with me, his mommy. He was my first baby.

They say that cats have nine lives. Well, Jazz was out to prove it. He came close to death numerous times starting with a bad reaction to the drugs when he was neutered; then there were several bad urinary tract infections; then a stroke four and half years ago.

I thought I had lost him then. After a middle of the night emergency vet visit and a $500 vet bill, he came home unable to walk, but without any answers from the vet. I did two things I do well. I prayed and I got online searching for answers. I tearfully begged him to hang on; and he did. I was not ready to let go yet.

I deduced he'd had a stroke. My research assured me he could recover. I fed him water and chicken broth with a baby medicine syringe for days; I changed his bedding several times a day, as he was unable to stand. Little by little he came back to me. Within two weeks, he was himself again.

Then, in the last year, he began to lose weight; he got wobblier and wobblier; and a bit leaky. But his eyes were as bright as ever. He was still determined.

Our new vet said he'd probably have another stroke; one worse than before. Well, he did. Last night he suffered a stroke, rendering him without the use of his limbs. He spent his last hours on his favorite blanket and with red devil next to him; those eyes burned bright until his last breath.

Jazz went to be with God and joined our St. Bernard, Benjamin, in heaven the morning of June 5, 2012. He was just shy of 17 years old. He lived a good life. He lived and died on his terms; that's just how he did things.

We are heartbroken for our loss, but relieved that he is no longer in pain; watching him suffer was too much. He will always be my first baby, and will be remembered as the smartest, most devoted cat to my knowledge.

A few weeks ago, Jazz started sleeping against my head or next to my face on my shoulder. It seemed he couldn't get close enough to me. I think he knew his time was limited. And deep down inside I did too.

Anna

DOG|GOD: Reflections on a Loss

It helps to talk about him often; even in the ordinary, everyday kind of conversation. His loss has been hard on us. Just when you think the deep grief has passed one of us has a sudden moment of sadness. I wasn't sure how much his death would affect our Darling Boys.

After all, they are just 5 and half and 3 and a half; how much would they understand about death and loss? Their responses have been varied and different.

Darling 1 has always been very matter-of-fact about all issues surrounding God and heaven. So, he has easily accepted that our beloved Saint, Ben, is in heaven with God, but refuses to talk about memories of Ben because it makes him too sad. He more openly grieved at the time of Ben's death, unlike his brother.

Darling 2 was exceedingly angry at the moment of Ben's death and in the months since. This was heartbreaking to watch. Darling 2 even asked for a little stuffed St. Bernard puppy for Christmas.

But recently as I was working on my computer with my ear buds in and Pandora station blaring and Darling 2 was sitting next to me watching a children's program on TV, I happened to look at him and saw that his big lower lip was stuck out and he was on the brink of tears. Even with my ear buds in I quickly figured out what was happening.

In the cartoon he was watching a character's pet caterpillar had "died" or so the character and her friends thought. Of course, this pet had not died, but came out of the cocoon as a butterfly. I realized what Darling 2 was thinking about and reassured him that this pet caterpillar was fine.

He told me he was very sad about Ben and cried. He remained in this state for several hours holding on to his little stuffed St. Bernard, finally openly grieving Ben's death. Since that time, he has been able to talk about Ben without getting upset.

Darling 2 even helped me put the photo in the personalized memorial marker that Aunt Dodie gave us for Ben; smiling and laughing at Ben's Christmas photo with a wreath around his neck, taken years before Darling 2 was born. Darling 1 helped me place it under Ben's favorite tree in the back yard, asking me if he could sit next to the marker and talk to Ben. I assured him he certainly could.

Ben's {heavy} box of ashes sits on the desk in our bedroom in a velvet drawstring bag; his favorite room in the house; the room he slept in; the room he died in. We are somehow comforted by the presence of this velvet drawstring bag.

I test myself with his memory every so often; recalling the thickness of his huge ears; letting myself feel how it felt to hug his tremendous neck and bury my face in his soft fur; thinking of the loud thump, thump, thumping of his powerful tail, the flip flapping of his large jowls and the resonance of his low snore; and envision the sweeter than molasses look in his deep brown eyes.

Loss in a family is difficult no matter who or what it is. We all have to mourn in our own ways. It takes time to move on; which we will, but we won't forget one of the greatest of God's creatures. And we all feel certain we will see our gentle giant again.

Darling 1 says that Ben is with Papa K, Will's grandfather who passed away last August. He says it like he knows it to be true. I don't doubt him. Papa K loved dogs and always asked about Ben even though he never got to meet him. I like to picture them together, both happy as a lark together in the eternal light. Over and out...

Benjamin: A DOG Among Dogs (An Obituary)

Anna

The Lockout: Averting Catastrophe with an Emergency Kit & Some Chocolate

The Locked Door

Yesterday in my haste to get out the door with Darling 2 to pick up Darling 1 from school, I grabbed the garage door opener, left from a side door, locked it behind me and walk/ran the two blocks to the school. I needn't have rushed. The dismissal procedure was changed on Monday and then tweaked on Tuesday. What they failed to tell the parents is that the students are now leaving the building later too.

Darling 2 and I stood waiting and waiting until finally Darling 1 emerged from the school doors. We headed back home with plans of a snack and playing and a little Mommy time on the computer. As I hit the button on the garage door opener, I got a sinking feeling. I realized I had locked the door leading from the garage to the house when Darling 2 and I had come home earlier.

I tried the locked door anyway...and all the other doors too, but to no avail. I didn't have any keys for my house or my car. I did have my cell phone. I thought we'll just call Will. He'll come to our rescue.

Left Out in the Cold

Nope. I realized he had several meetings scheduled for the afternoon. That didn't stop me from calling and calling and calling, texting and tweeting him, hoping to catch him in between meeting. But there was no answer; I had the times of his meetings mixed up. The whole time I was trying to contact him his phone was in his computer bag with the ringer off.

Fortunately, it was nice weather and we had access to the outdoor toys in the garage. The boys happily played for the first hour of lockout. Then, the sun started falling lower and it started getting colder. Darling 2 and I hadn't even worn coats to pick up Darling 1. So, we retreated into the car in the garage. The boys rummaged through CDs and maps in the glove box, went through our first aid kit, tried on a few Band-Aids and pretended to drive. Then, we all three sat in the back bench, reclined as far as it would go and read from our stash of books that I keep in the car to occupy the boys.

Chocolate to the Rescue

By then, it has been an hour and a half, the boys were getting hungry. We went through Darling 1's lunch box and backpack and found a package of uneaten granola bars. Then, we hit the jackpot.

We found a large dark chocolate bar that had been accidently left in the car earlier. I had bought a stack of large chocolate bars for my Norwex Launch Party on Sunday. I thought I had smuggled them in without Darling 2 seeing them, but one had been left behind in the car.

Ah, the little bit of dark chocolate that we split lifted our spirits and helped to sustain us until we could be "rescued." And then, finally, after 2 hours of lockout, Will did come to save us {mostly from each other}.

An Emergency Kit

This little "disaster" made me think about resources available to me in a real emergency. As noted, I have a small and mostly forgotten about first aid kit in the car. I also have a tackle box in the linen closet with various bandages, ointments, etc. but that's about it.

I have to admit that I have considered stockpiling water, canned foods, packs of tuna, toilet paper, medicine, dog and cat food and the like in case of a true catastrophic event. My brain is paranoid enough for me to imagine the kind of apocalypse that would necessitate such supplies, but my space and pocket book are limited enough to prevent me from actually putting together such a kit.

The List

With that said, I do think it's a good idea to be prepared for anything, especially with the past year of "killer" weather. Floods, hurricanes, tornados, super power storms or even man created emergencies/calamities. So, maybe you don't have to stock 300 cans of green peas and 120 gallons of water and 45 rolls of toilet paper, but a kit with basics isn't a bad idea.

Several government sites suggest that kits include:

1. Prescription medicines and basic over the counter meds, as well as bandages, disinfectants and other first aid necessities;
2. Water {1 gallon per person per day}
3. Flashlight with extra, new batteries;
4. Blanket/sleeping bag per person;
5. Extra water and pet food for pets;
6. Formula, baby food, diapers, etc if there is an infant in your home;
7. Change of clothes for each person {change out for seasons and sizes};
8. Matches in a water proof container;
9. Wrench/pliers for turning off utilities;
10. Battery operated radio/weather radio with extra, new batteries;
11. Toilet paper, baby wipes, trash bags;
12. Non-perishable foods, enough for three days;
13. Local Maps;
14. Dust masks for each person, duct tape, a whistle and utility knife;
15. Cash
16. Important docs like passports, licenses/I.D., birth certificates, etc.;
17. Books, small toys, games, etc. to keep your child(ren) occupied; and
18. In an actual emergency, have keys, cell phone and chargers at the ready.

Resources

Ready.gov has a list of sensible basic items necessary in the event of a threat or disaster. The CDC has a great article and list on its blog about which items to store at the ready and about making an emergency plan for your family to follow if a catastrophe should strike. If you are in need of a good travel first aid kit, check out this article from the USA Today TravelTips page.

The Scoop

Personally, I would also add Laptop/Tablet and cord and Chocolate {1 or 2 bars per person per day} to the above list, but that's just me. Let's hope that such a kit is never needed, but if it is then we would all be grateful for being paranoid/prepared enough to have put it together. Or perhaps you all have this kind of kit in your basements already? Maybe we're the only ones completely unprepared for a calamity. Over and out...

Anna

Where are you, Christmas Joy? Dealing with the SADness of Seasonal Affective Disorder

The Cruelest Month

December is the cruelest month. I have always loved winter and Christmas, but since moving to Iowa and then Minnesota 11 years ago, I have felt the blues begin to settle in come end of November and beginning of December when the days get exceedingly short and dark and dreary. I drag around completely exhausted, with bags under my eyes. I have no energy or "unction" to do anything. I feel low and down and sad.

Each year it seems to get a little worse. A number of years ago, I began to notice the pattern and acknowledge my blues. I would tell myself I wasn't going crazy; it would pass. And it does...eventually. I have come to realize that I suffer from SAD; that is, Seasonal Affective Disorder.

This year, with Ben's death, one month ago, and the many stresses of 2011, I have really begun to feel the SADness deepen and settle all around me like thick, black fog. I feel as though I am slogging through wet cement, hot tears roll down my cheeks as I drive along running errands or sit typing out articles, I can't get enough rest and I can't muster the joy of the season no matter how much I try.

A Ray of Light

This year is especially low, but this year I have a SAD lamp. Years ago, my brother lived in AK and suffered from SAD too. He now lives in sunny and humid Houston and I am now the proud owner of a big, bulky, very bright and sunny SAD lamp. I have used it only a few times, but I am working on getting into a schedule of using it on a regular basis in an attempt to brighten my mood.

Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD affects people in winter or summer, spring or fall, year after year. It can happen at different times of the year, but often occurs during the winter when a person with otherwise normal mental health suffers from episodes of depression.

SAD occurs more often in women than men, and those who live in places with long, dark winters have the greatest chance of suffering from this type of depression. Apparently, it's estimated that 20% of SAD sufferers are Irish; about 10% of those in Netherland are afflicted with SAD and 8.9% of Alaskans suffer from this disorder. Other factors include hormones, genes, amount of light exposed to each day and body temperature.

Symptoms of SAD

While there is no test to determine if one does indeed suffer from SAD, a health professional can make a diagnosis based on symptoms of the patient and by ruling out other illnesses. A person with SAD usually presents these symptoms:

• Increased appetite and weight gain;
• Irritability and unhappiness;
• Lack of energy;
• Difficulty concentrating and remembering details;
• Fatigue;
• Difficulty sleeping or oversleeping;
• Sad, anxious or empty feelings;
• Social withdrawal;
• Loss of interest in work or other activities; and
• Sense of hopelessness.

Phototherapy

There are a number of treatments that can be very helpful for SAD sufferers. The most common treatment comes in the form of light; a very bright light. It helps to get outside and exercise during the hours with sunlight, but light therapy is best way to get the "sunlight" needed. This is accomplished with a special lamp with fluorescent lights up to 10,000 lux.

Studies have shown that light therapy of 3,000 lux for 2 hours a day for 5 weeks or 10,000 lux for 30 minutes a day for 8 weeks is effective for many. By sitting a few yards away and glancing at the light occasionally, the "rays" can help ease the SAD symptoms.

However, commercial light boxes are not regulated by law in the U.S. So, use caution when selecting a phototherapy lamp. They are not all the same.

And, of course, neither are we humans all the same. Therefore, light therapy does not work for everyone. In fact, 20 to 50% of SAD sufferers do not feel a difference with the light box. If that is the case and the symptoms are severe and unrelenting, other treatment could be sought; that is, vitamins or supplements, occupational therapy or antidepressants. As with any medical diagnosis or treatment, seek the advice of a medical professional before beginning any treatment.

For now, I'm sticking with my light box and trying to find the right time and place to use it each day. I have been told that starting off each dark morning for a 30 minutes of light and/or 30 minutes of phototherapy each evening when it's already dark will be helpful.

The Scoop

I am optimistic, as always, even through this very low time. I give myself pep talks and try to force myself to keep up my social calendar, but it's extremely difficult getting through each day. Much of the time, I feel like I am accomplishing only the mandatory tasks of each day and going through the motions, leaving much undone.

This may sound backwards and crazy to some, but I really feel that some bright and beautiful snow would lift my spirits. There is more light reflected and less darkness when there is snow. Now, where are you snow? Where are you Christmas? Please come to me in Minnesota and light my very dark winter, and lead the way to a soggy spring and beautiful summer.

Does this sound familiar? Do you or someone you know suffer from SAD? How have you dealt with the lack of sunshine during the winter months? Over and out...

Anna

Benjamin: A DOG Among Dogs {An Obituary}

He had many names: Benjamin, Ben, Benner, BearBQ, Blueberry Blue, Benjamin Bear and Bubba; and he was our wonderful smooth coat St. Bernard. He passed away at exactly noon on Wednesday. He was 8.5 years old {which is pretty old for a Saint}. We are heartbroken and adrift in emotion and memories.

To know Ben was to catch a glimpse of God for no one but the God I know would have ever thought to make such an amazing creature. He was huge. He weighed 160 pounds. He had an imposing bark. But those who knew him knew that he wouldn't hurt a fly. He was truly a gentle giant.

Benjamin came into our lives as Ruben, but we didn't think that fit him. He was at a shelter in north central Iowa, having been brought there by the family that had bought him from a breeder just 3 months prior. He was 7 months olds; he was skinny and gangly with huge flopping ears; just like a teenager who hasn't grown into his body yet. And it's a long story as to how we came to know about this precious lovebug.

We soon figured out the reason that the family had given him up and why he was so skinny; food allergies. Once we found a remedy, he gained and grew and grew. He also slobbed and slobbed and slobbed and shed and shed and shed and loved and loved and loved.

We adored him instantly and fell head over heels in love with him. Everywhere we went with Ben people stopped us to pet him, hug his massive neck and take photos with him. He willingly obliged. We quickly got used to the giant muddy paws, the large dog food and vet bills and the slobbery slime forever flip flapping out of his massive jowls onto us, the walls, the ceiling. It was just part of the package deal; and we loved the complete package.

Ben was goofy and good-natured and loved a tasty treat. When he asked for a cookie he sounded like Chewbacca. He gave big, full-bodied, hairy, slobby hugs that I will miss so much. He loved his dog sister, his cat siblings, his human brothers, his mommy and daddy and his grandma. He was the last furry baby to arrive before the human babies, yet he was never jealous of the boys; not once. That just wasn't his style. He did worry about stepping on them with his enormous paws and took great care to never do that.

Last Saturday, it snowed for the first time this season. Ben loved everything about the snow and the cold; it was his favorite season of the year. On Saturday night, I went out to the backyard where he was enjoying the cold, crisp air. He was delighted to see me, as he always was. He sat on my feet and leaned on my legs; he rubbed his head on my thigh as I scruffed his fur with my hands. Out in the dark, cold night with first snow covering the ground, we whispered together in our secret language that was understood by us alone; the kind of language that is felt deep in the soul.

He was so happy on Saturday night; bouncing around like a puppy; as he always did when it snowed. All was right in his world. I'm so glad he got to see and feel the snow one more time. And I'm so glad I had that special time alone with him. Again, I am the luckiest. I am the luckiest for having had the chance to know and love and be loved by this magnificent creature.

He became very sick in early morning hours and we were awaiting the vet's arrival at our home. We were quite certain this was the end for him, given his symptoms and we were so grateful that he passed away on his own terms; surrounded by family, in our room, on his blanket, where he always slept. We are so blessed to have had the chance for each of us to say our goodbyes and hold his hands, hug his neck and kiss his beautiful head in his last few hours.

At noon, Darling 1 had come in the room again and said to me, as I sat there with Ben, "I don't hear him anymore." {He was always a heavy breather and loud snorer}. And that's when I knew he was no longer with us. Today is God's lucky day because today he was joined by my Benjamin.

We will forever love you and miss you, Benner; my sweet, sweet angel boy. The winter won't be the same without you here. Thank you for your love and the wonderful memories.

Anna

 

Best Buddies: Resources for Teaching Kids Rules for Safe and Respectful Interactions With Pets

Old Wives' "Tails"

Did you see the headline about the cat who sucked the air out of the infant's lungs? No? Me neither. You know why? Because it never happened. Such an incident sounds beyond absurd, doesn't it? And yet, when I was pregnant people actually asked me if I was worried about this happening. This is how conspiracy theories spread, people.

No, I was never worried that my cats would smother my children, etc. I briefly considered a net canopy that attaches to the crib so that cats can't jump in the crib to sleep, but then realized how ridiculous it was. We simply closed the door to the room where the baby was sleeping, but I needn't have worried at all. The cats wanted absolutely nothing to do with the little squirmy, crying aliens who had invaded their space.

Tips for Being Safe & Respectful

This does not mean that pets should sleep with infants or be left alone in the room with infants. They should not. Extra care should be taken to ensure that safety measures are in place when it comes to animals and babies, as previously mentioned earlier this week.

Kids should never be taught to fear animals or mistreat them. Pets in a home can be a positive addition. Pets teach unconditional love, responsibility and trust among other things.

For a child to feel comfortable around animals, the child should be taught how to approach animals, which animals to avoid and basic safe practices in dealing with animals they may come across while walking down the sidewalk, visiting a friend's house or at a farm, etc.

Here some resources for finding this information and more:

• Tips for safe interactions between kids and pets;
• General rules for interactions between kids and pets; and
• Prevent dog bites from stray animals or pet's of strangers

Of course, kids should also be taught to treat animals with respect and kindness. Abuse of animals by young kids is not only disturbing, but can also be an early sign of trouble that could lead to more serious criminal activity in the future. If your child or another child you know hurts or kills any kind of animal, you should seek psychological help for that child or alert that child's parents, caretakers or authorities to this issue.

Here are tips for teaching kids how to treat animals, whether you have pets in your home or not:

• Teach your kids to respect their pets;
• Show your kids how to be kind and compassionate to animals; and
• Be a good pet owner by knowing what to expect before getting a pet.

The Scoop

Overall, be kind, be patient, be considerate, be smart. Always be a good example to your kids by treating animals with respect and kindness. Remember that pets are a lot of work and take a lot of time and energy. Be prepared for this before you get a new pet. It's heartbreaking to a child and teaches your child to question whether to connect with and trust another if you are constantly getting a pet and then getting rid of a pet because you don't have time, hastily chose the wrong breed, etc.

Pets are amazingly intuitive and can teach kids many wonderful things, including unconditional love and loyalty. Pets are great for cuddling with when feeling sad, lonely or down. They are equally fabulous companions for romping and playing with and generally keeping one company. Over and out...

Anna

 

 

Pets and the Hereafter: Helping Kids Cope with Pet Loss

Rexy

Before I was born, my parents were talked into giving away two of their three cats, believing that it would be better for the baby. Nonetheless, the one cat that remained was a fierce guardian of me and my brother. He was a large gray tabby named Rex who would faithfully run to our assistance and wait for mom to come to our rescue when we cried out. He was loving and tolerant and everything a first pet should be. He died when I was in Kindergarten and I recall being very sad, but it was most upsetting to my mom who had known him, loved him and cared for him so much longer.

As previously mentioned in an earlier post, my childhood home was always populated by a cat or two or three. When tragedy struck and a cat died, we got more kittens. Some came and went without making a huge impact in our lives, but others were members of our family.

Princess

When I was 10 years old, we got Princess. She was just a run of the mill white kitten from the animal rescue. She had a little patch of tabby stripes, a little bit of orange marmalade color and few spots of this and that, but she believed her name was indeed her rank and she ruled her castle and its inhabitants with kindness and love, but always with a firm hand.

Princess lived over 18 years. I was 28 when she died. She was a big part of our family, and it was like losing a member of our family. If you don't really love animals, you won't understand this sentiment, but it was devastating to our family. We still talk about her fondly, just as we do my grandparents or other deceased relatives.

Preparing for Loss

All of my pets are getting elderly and it will be devastating to our family when they die. A huge hole will be left in my heart. They are like children to me. They were my first children after all. First came the cats, relatively independent; then came the puppies, not at all independent in the beginning...oh, who am I kidding, the dogs have never been independent; and finally the Darling Boys, who are getting more and more independent by the day.

The Boys love our dogs and cats and have never known life without them. They understand the animals are getting elderly and Darling 1 knows that one day they will die. We have had a few deaths in our family in the recent past and have talked about death. We believe in God and heaven and do discuss this concept in conjunction with our pets and death. I don't think that Darling 2 completely understands the concept of death yet.

Desser the Best Ever Cat

Nine years ago, when Princess died, I found a children's book about a guy and his cat. The guy meets a girl, guy and girl get married and have a little baby girl, little girl loves cat and vice versa, little girl gets bigger and cats ages, and one day the cat dies. It's the saddest book I've ever read, and I can't read it without crying. Just thinking about it now makes me tear up. The book is Desser the Best Ever Cat by Maggie Smith.

I bought one copy for my parents and one for me. Last year, Darling 1 found that book in the basement among other books in a stack; he wanted me to read it. I begged off for a bit with excuses and suggestions of other books to read. Then, I finally gave in and read it the best I could. By the end, as predicted, I was in tears and could barely get the words out. When I finished reading, the Boys sat very still and quiet, and then Darling 1 ask me to read it again. I said I couldn't and I excused myself to go get a grip and stop the tears. A little later, Darling 1 came in, and sadly said, "But, I don't want Jazzy to die" as he choked back tears.

And neither do I, but he will and so will the others. It's the circle of life; it's inevitable; and he's used up most of his nine lives now. So, when Jazz and Ben and the others leave us, the reality is we will have to help the Darling Boys to make sense of it all and give them the tools to get through this death in the family, while we help ourselves through it, as well.

Tips for Helping Kids Cope with Pet Loss

Besides Desser, which I will be using when the time comes, here are some tips and suggestions for dealing with pet loss and kids:

1. Don't underestimate your children. Tell them the truth. They can handle it, and you owe them the truth;
2. Hold a memorial service for your pet with family and/or friends to celebrate your pet's life;
3. Plant a tree or flowers in honor of your pet or over the area where your pet is buried in your yard;
4. Allow your child to keep the pet's special toy or collar, etc.;
5. Talk about your pet; discuss memories. Even if it makes you and the kids sad, it will also make you laugh remembering the good times;
6. Telling your child the pet went to sleep or went away will only make them feel worse that their pet abandoned them and could lead to other fears and issues; be clear in your description of death;
7. Make a plaster stepping stone or small monument in honor of your pet;
8. Get out photos of your pet for your child to look at; perhaps make an album dedicated to your pet;
9. Don't hide how you feel; grieve openly in front of your children; the grieving process is important; allow you and the children to go through it;
10. Read age appropriate books, like Desser, that help to convey the concept of pet death;
11. Don't be afraid to get a new pet, but wait until everyone in the family is ready; and
12. If you are not a pet lover and are not grieving this loss, but your child is, don't underestimate your child's grief; this is real and often extreme sadness.

Sources: ASPCA & Pet Loss Support Page

The Scoop

This is not the post I sat down to write, but these are the thoughts that came to my mind and these are the words that my fingertips nimbly brought to light. This was a very difficult post for me to write. In the next several years we face a great many losses with pets who range in age from 16 years to 8 years old.

Tomorrow I'll be discussing keeping kids safe around animals. Over and out...

Anna

Legal Tails: Laws Protecting Animals and People

A Fear of Dogs

Years ago when living in Iowa, I remember being at a friend's home for a small gathering of new acquaintances. These friends had two dogs, one of which was at least part Pit-Bull Terrier if not full-blooded, and also one of the sweetest dogs you might encounter. I recall another friend there who it quickly became apparent was terrified of dogs. My friends apologized for having theirs out and put them in the basement away from the party.

The terrorized friend then related her story of being attacked by a friend's dog years earlier. This dog had never attacked anyone before, but had lunged at her, and she was severely injured and taken to the hospital. Her physical scars had healed, but her mental scars will probably never go away. If this had happened to me, I would probably have different feelings about dogs. When I see a dog that is powerful and intense, I think of her story.

In Reference to Yesterday's Post {It's easier if you just go read it: Animal House}

In yesterday's post I gave you a detailed account of my crazy chaotic household full of cats, dogs and kids. You now know how I feel about animals in general {I love them...in case you missed yesterday's article} and you know that my pets and kids mix and mingle and all equally share the home with us.

Yesterday I also shared two examples of when the mix of pets and kids goes awry with very disturbing facts and endings. A reader alerted me to another similar tragic incident that occurred just a few days prior to the 2 week baby being mauled by the family dog in Houston. This story comes from North Carolina. Five dogs were taken away after one or more of them attacked and killed a 9 day old baby girl. Among these dogs there is at least one Rottweiler and one Pit Bull Terrier. The authorities are also investigating that incident to determine whether criminal charges should be issued or whether this was simply a horrible tragedy.

These news stories are frightening and might be enough for some people to rush to conclusions about parenting styles or about having pets at all if kids are in the house. These stories are not meant to scare or threaten anyone. There are many wonderful reasons to expose kids to pets. They are simply a reminder that pets are animals and can be unpredictable at times. If we make sensible choices and err on the side of caution then most situations can be avoided.

It's important to realize there's a lot we don't know about the dog mauling cases: we don't know whether the dog(s) had been introduced to the infant through smells, etc., whether the parents knew or should have known reasons to keep the dog(s) and baby separated, whether the parents were negligent in failing to keep the two separated and whether the parents were diligent in their care of their infants. The investigations of these two terribly sad incidents will determine the answers to these and other questions in deciding whether to charge anyone with a crime. Regardless of any of these facts, two families have lost their tiny, innocent, brand new babies, and I doubt anything else matters to them at this time.

It's also important to note that none of the dogs have been sentenced to death at this point which probably indicates that none of the dogs have had any run-ins with the law before; meaning no previous reports of biting, etc., up-to-date vaccination records and current licenses. Once the investigations have ended, the fate of these dogs will also be determined. {By the way, the python from yesterday's scenario was spared and is in the custody of the state now. Given the fact that she was being starved to death by her owners having not been fed for over a month and was severely underweight she was not blamed for this death.}

Protecting Your Household and Others

These are things you should know already, but let this serve as a reminder. Again, we sometimes forget these basic requirements of pet ownership. In order to protect your pets, yourself and others, you must keep your pets' vaccines current, renew licenses and keep your pet in its cage, inside a fence, on a leash or whatever enclosure is appropriate for your pet.

If you don't have an umbrella insurance policy, you might look into getting one that would cover the defense and damages of an incident involving your pet and another outside of your household {Check with policy/insurance agent for details regarding coverage.}

It's also important to be familiar with the local, state and federal laws that apply to you and your pet, depending on the type of pet you have. Laws regulating pets are centered on three basic principles: public safety, public health and animal welfare. That is to say, it's the intent of the authorities to protect the public against brutal and often fatal attacks of the owner, members of the household or a member of the public; prevent the spread of diseases, often diseases that are not native to the U.S. or animals here; and put a stop to animal neglect and animal cruelty, which so very often occurs with exotic pet reserves, horse farms or puppy mills.

Local Laws

For the most part, if you have only domestic pets, rather than exotic pets, local ordinances basically provide for licensure and leash requirements and may limit numbers and size of animals, etc. Licensing will ensure that pets are being regularly vaccinated for rabies and any other required vaccines. Licensing also aids in tracking and identifying missing or found pets.

If you are new to a city or a new pet owner or both, be sure to check your local ordinances regarding pets.

Exotic Pets and Laws

If you have exotic pets, there are many other laws and regulations that will apply to you on local, state and federal levels. The definition of exotic pets varies from state to state. So, if you have any question whatsoever as to whether your pet is "exotic" and whether there are laws that apply to your pet, check your area's ordinances, statutes and regulations on all levels.

State Laws

Due to the level of concern over attacks by animals and animal neglect by the owners, more states have passed laws banning certain types of animals in the last decade or so. If you are considering getting an exotic pet, which this term can include some reptiles, fish and birds that may not seem exotic to you, be sure to check the law prior to getting your new pet. For a comprehensive guide to state laws regulating animals, check Born Free USA.

Federal Laws

There are a few federal laws that apply to pets, such as the Endangered Species Act and the Animal Welfare Act. For more information on these laws and current legislation regarding federal law and animals, check Born Free USA for their list of federal bills they are tracking, etc.

The Scoop

Overall, the message is this, know the law and follow the law for your sake, your pet's sake and for other's sake too in regards to pet licensing, vaccines and leashes, cages, fences, etc. Tomorrow I'll be discussing tips for keeping your kids safe around animals. Over and out...

Anna

 

Animal House: Legal Issues and the Family Pet Part I

For the Love of Animals

On most days it's a regular zoo around here. My two Darlings Boys are loud and boisterous alright and sometimes pretend to be monkeys named George or lions or dinosaurs or even Clifford the Big Red Dog and his friends, but we also have two real giant dogs and 3 aging cats. The cats came first starting back in college, then the dogs and finally the kids. Each new addition has been an adjustment for the beings already residing in our household, and each has done beautifully.

I have always been an animal lover. There are very few animals I don't have some kind of affinity for. I talk to all animals, no matter the genus, breed or size as if they are 10 pound floppy, warm, cuddly, sweet, yellow lab puppies. I have never been able to read Call of the Wild or Black Beauty. I hate animal cruelty and cannot take it. I will step in to stop abuse to an animal if I see it happening.

DH loves our animals and has grown to be an animal lover after 17 years with me. His family members are pets belong outside and never in the house and absolutely not on your bed and pets are pets and nothing more kind of people. It's more of a farming community view and is quite a common view of pets.

My family is crazy about animals. In my entire life there have been only two years that I lived without an animal: my freshmen and sophomore years of college. My brother and his wife have 3 dogs and 2 cats. We are animal people. My Darlings seem to be following suit.

Our House

My kids are constantly monitored by our Leonberger who greets them with a lick to their heads upon each return home, as if mentally checking off that the boys are once again safe and sound and under her guard. She adores us all, but she is particularly protective of the boys. It drives her mad if the boys are in the front yard without her, especially if Darling 2, her baby, is darting about and in her opinion too close to the street. She watches from the front window her head going back and forth as they traverse the yard playing soccer or tag or baseball; and she eventually talks me into letting her outside on her leash so that she can be near them.

My boys learned to pull-up and cruise on our Saint Bernard. I am convinced there has never been and will never be a sweeter, more gentle animal on this earth. He is quite large and in his prime weighed 160 pounds. When the boys were babies, he would patiently lay in the living room while the baby grasped two handfuls of his thick coat and held on, laughing and babbling all along. He carefully sidestepped toys, baby gear and the boys themselves. He ignored their crying, loud singing and crashing and bashing of cars and other toys.

Now the cats, being cats, pretty much avoid the boys as much as possible, especially the older they get and the more rambunctious they become. And yet, they have completely accepted the boys (and the dogs). The oldest of all is the most social with them. After all, he's had to adjust to a lot in his 16 years.

Recent Headlines

With that said, I also hate to see tragic headlines about a dog attacking a baby or a pet tiger attacking its owner or a visitor or a monkey getting away from its owner or a python escaping and killing a child.

    Exotic Pets

It seems that exotic pet incidences have been on the rise, which could be indicative of the increase of exotic pet ownership. One such horrible story recently had its final day in court when a young mom, Jaren Hare and her boyfriend were sentenced to 12 years of prison each, after Hare's two year-old daughter, Shaiunna, was strangled to death in her crib by the family's pet python in the summer of 2009.

The snake, Gypsy, an 8.5 foot albino Burmese python, was poorly housed in a makeshift cage in the family's living room. Gypsy had escaped several times. In fact, on the night of the little girl's death, the snake had been found in the hallway of the home. The next morning they found the snake wound around Shaiunna's head in her crib.

The snake had not been fed in over a month and was severely underweight. Apparently, Gypsy had slithered past two other children sleeping in the living room and down the hall to the toddler's room.

The couple were found guilty of manslaughter. The snake had escaped the poorly constructed cage 1o times in the previous two months. The aquarium was covered by a quilt and fastened to the sides with safety pins.

    Domestic Pets

Just last week I saw a gut-wrenching headline about the family dog mauling a tw0-week old infant to death. The baby was sitting in his infant seat in a room in the family home. The mom was keeping an eye on her baby through a window while she was outside. The family dog, a 100 pound Labrador mix, was in another room separated by double French-style doors.

Apparently, the dog pushed its way through the doors into the room where the baby was. The dog began sniffing the infant and then lunged at the helpless baby mauling him before anyone could pull him back. The baby died about 5 hours later after being airlifted to a hospital.

The dog was quarantined by animal control. There was no history of violence from this dog. Animal control has not decided what will happen to the dog. The incident is under investigation to see if there was any negligence on the part of the parents or purely a tragic accident.

The Scoop

The problem is that you don't know how a particular animal might react to a baby, a child or any stranger, regardless of size or age. I know I have been surprised a few times by my animals by the way they have reacted to a particular situation, not necessarily in a negative way and not necessarily involving kids, but nonetheless surprised.

We certainly weren't going to get rid of our pets when he had kids, but we did follow a few guidelines. When I returned home from the hospital after giving birth I greeted the animals alone. Prior to coming home with our baby, DH had brought home and offered for sniffing a blanket and piece of clothing that was used by the baby. Then, we slowly introduced the animals to the baby with one of us holding the baby and the other holding onto the pet. We never left the animals alone with kids when they were babies and we always closed the baby's room door. We had no issues at all.

This is not to say that all results would be the same if another person with other pets took all of these precautions. I think you do have to think about it in advance, prepare for having kids and pets and then be cautious and never just assume your gentle loving pet is OK with kids. I'll be back with more on pets and the law tomorrow. Over and out...

Anna