Hanging By a Thread

The Cheapskate’s Guide to Iceland

In October, we traveled to Iceland, and it was amazing. We were there 10 days, and we LOVED every bit of it! Every view, every experience, every waterfall, every pool, every meal, every rainbow, every craggy cliff, every sheep, every horse, every everything was utterly fantastic to us. We met some lovely people. We ate wonderful food. We stayed in interesting places. We learned so many fascinating things. We had one experience with bad/loud neighbors our first night in Reykjavik, bad enough to make us book a new place for the following 2 nights, but that actually all worked out well. And I dropped and broke my phone...thereby losing my camera and emails, reservations, etc., but we had my husband's phone and we made sure our son brought his phone (an older hand-me-down) for emergencies and we had brought one laptop for emergency access to information. I ended up using my son's old, hand-me-down phone for photos, and I think it was better than the one that broke. So, that too, all worked out fine.

It can be an expensive trip, but if you know how to plan and what to eat and where to go, you can save money and have enough for a few amazing splurges!

We did rent a vehicle because half of our trip was spent outside of Reykjavik exploring the countryside. Renting a vehicle is expensive, plus it's necessary (or at least a good idea) to get the insurance, and gas is extremely expensive (more on that below). So, the car took up a chunk of budget.

And yet, food was really not much more expensive, if at all, than what we see here in the Twin Cities. Which is to say, it is expensive, but we are used to that. If you come from a place that eating out is not exorbitant, then it may come as a shock to you when reading through a menu in Iceland, if you can quickly convert the Icelandic Krona to US dollars, that is. We found it best to be conservative in our ordering, but not convert the price and not worry too much about the cost. You have to eat, after all. We shared a lot of meals, and we did not eat every meal out. We do pack food, and we buy groceries when we travel. And we book apartments or homes or cabins that have full kitchens for preparing meals. Hostels often have a space for preparing your own meals, as well.

So, here are our tips for keeping your Iceland trip within your budget:

1. Fly IcelandAir. From MSP and other locations, you can get a direct flight. Our flight was 6 hours long, overnight. The plane was plenty spacious and the crew very friendly. Kids younger than 12 actually fly for less and receive a box of food and a small backpack type bag with fun activities and ear buds upon boarding. We chose the option for 1 bag included with each person's ticket, but in the end had one extra bag. They weighed that one last and then called it a "carry-on" and checked it for no extra cost, each way. Note: They are VERY STRICT on the size of carry-on bags. They can't be more than the size of a backpack or large purse. Fortunately, we don't fly with large suitcase type carry-on bags. So, we were fine regarding the carry-on bags.
2. Kids under 12 are free at most pools, spas, museums, tours, etc. I think the only places we had to pay for the kids were the Saga Museum, the Perlan and the performance at Harpa (see below).
3. Eat Icelandic hot dogs at Baejarins Beztu Pylsur. It's just a trailer. You'll see the line first. It's worth the wait. We went here two or three times. They are soooo good. Be sure to order them with everything! They are made with lamb…I think that is why they are so tasty.
4. Eat Soup. Anywhere and everywhere. We had some good lobster soups. Generally, places have a meat soup and veggie soup.
5. Braud & Co. is an AMAZING bakery! We got pastries here each day we were in Reykjavik and then stocked up on bread and pastries before we left Reykjavik to explore the country. While not dirt cheap, the pastries are so good and are not going to break the bank either. Get a variety and share them.
6. Reykjavik Roasters is just a block away from Braud & Co. and has delicious coffee and hot chocolate to go with your pastries. This should be your first or second stop of the morning…or any other time you need some coffee.
7. National Parks, waterfalls, geysirs, volcanoes, beaches, cliffs, glaciers, otherworldly landscapes and all natural wonders are free to explore to your heart's content. Our tip: if you see cars pulled over/stopped in a parking lot, pull over and check it out. One exception is Kerid Crater. This is on private land and it cost us a small amount, but it was worth it.
8. When renting a car, choose a couple of companies and message on Facebook or email and ask for a discount. Then, go back and forth until you get what you want. I got a 10% off discount by doing this. And get the insurance – some companies include most of the insurance types in their prices. Be sure to let them know what season you will be visiting and where you will be traveling. That way, you can be sure you get the right vehicle for your travels; some areas require a 4x4.
9. Buy groceries at Bonus or Kronan, the discount groceries stores. Buy local favorites and explore candy, bread, meat, cheese, skyr options. We LOVED the Isey brand skyr (Icelandic yogurt) and got some blueberry jam to mix into the plain skyr. We found that most of the Continental breakfasts we ate had skyr and jam, plus ham and butter and breads and a fish paste (similar to a tuna salad). So, we bought some of the things we had seen on the continental breakfasts when we bought groceries. We usually make sandwiches, eggs and toast, cereal, overnight fridge oatmeal and spaghetti for our cook at home meals with touches of fruits/veggies or cheeses or spreads or sauces or proteins that are local foods/tastes.
10. Pack your own food to bring. Word of caution: Check with customs to see if there are foods you can't bring in or take out. For instance, Iceland does not allow any meat to come in, dry or otherwise. So, no beef jerky/meat sticks – something we usually travel with. We always bring things like trail mix, dried fruit, coffee, tea, crackers, dry pasta, granola/protein bars and chocolate.
11. Eat pizza – it's easy to share and cheaper this way. We ate a lot of pizza. We love pizza! And it was delicious! Our favorite was Black Box in Reykjavik. It was mostly locals and the service and pizza were fantastic! Our next favorite was in Arnarstapi on the Snaefellsnes Peninsula at Arnarbaer. Flatey Pizza in Reykjavik was disappointing though and the service was equally disappointing even though the reviews and ratings were good. We would not go there again.
12. Shop at Kolaportid – the indoor flea market in Reykjavik. I got an Icelandic wool sweater and an original watercolor for a great price there. It's the one place you need cash. There were so many cool things here. It's open only on the weekends.
13. Walk as much as possible and conserve gas. It is EXPENSIVE! I think walking is the best way to explore and not miss anything anyway, but sometimes you must drive, of course, if you are exploring outside of Reykjavik. So, when you plan your trip be aware that gas is quite costly. We paid about $300 total and it was the equivalent to a full tank of diesel.
14. Stay in a hostel, when possible. Some have family suites with private bathrooms. We stayed in a variety of types of lodging during our 10-day trip. One of them was the Base Hotel, a hostel that used to be the NATO Base barracks for families. We booked a family suite with private bathroom. It had two rooms with a total of 4 twin beds and one queen with a private bathroom for about $140 for the night. There was a game room, arcade games, a huge magnetic chessboard, a pool table and a library, a small café and a bar all with a cool, funky style and variety of travelers.
15. Book a Free Walking Tour. You pay what you can/what it was worth to you at the end of tour. It's an awesome way to get to know the city and its culture, government, food, the must dos and don'ts, etc. We do this kind of tour in any city we travel to that offers it.
16. Consider a Reykjavik city card for discounts. For us, and what we were doing and the age of our kids, it did not add up to a discount, but it's worth checking out.
17. There is no tipping at all in Iceland! (other than the free walking tours)
18. Talk to people, whether visitors or locals. They will give you tips and information that is invaluable.
19. Research and read everything you can find on Iceland. I found local blogs, TripAdvisor comments, maps and local Icelandic guide websites very helpful.
20. The Geothermal Bakery Bread Tour in Fontana Spa in Laugarvatn. We enjoyed the geothermal pools at the spa the night before we went on the Geothermal Bakery Bread Tour, and really enjoyed everything about the Fontana Spa. The bread tour was absolutely fascinating – at least to me – and quite affordable. We lucked out with our guide as it was her grandmother's bread recipe that they use and has been passed down for generations. The dark, dense, slightly sweet bread is baked inside a pot that is buried out in the hot sands where the hot springs are. After seeing how it is baked, we were served warm bread that was just dug up from the hot sand with thick slabs of butter. Our tour was just our family since no one else signed up for it, and we ate as much of the bread as we wanted.

    A few splurges that were totally worth it:

    1. The Blue Lagoon. The kids were free here, but for two adults with the basic package (towels, lockers and adults get 1 free drink) the total was still $200. This was our second stop after getting off the plane (first stop was a continental breakfast at Viking World). We were exhausted, and the blue lagoon was relaxing and rejuvenating! We spent 4 hours here. It's not to be missed. Word to the wise: Make reservations before you arrive! It does sell out. This is one of my favorite things I have EVER done. The locals tend to poo poo it, but it was an amazing experience and beautiful and unique and such a wonderful memory!
    2. Omnom Chocolate Factory Tour. The kids were free, but it was still about $80 total. We loved it! It was quite interesting, the chocolate was amazing, and the people were lovely. You get to taste all of their chocolate! IT IS FANTASTIC CHOCOLATE!
    3. How to Become Icelandic in 60 minutes at Harpa. Harpa is the performance center in Reykjavik and the architecture alone warrants a visit. It is beautiful and the outside tiles continuously change colors. We went to this performance on our first night. We were exhausted by the time difference and no sleep, but we laughed our heads off and loved it. While it is silly and fun and delightful, it is also quite an education and provides a fascinating look at the Icelandic culture and history and people. Make reservations before you go. It was a full house when we were there. (Be warned if you have young and/or sheltered children: There is some "language" as Captain America says and some topics are a bit savory, but our kids loved it, and we did not feel that it was inappropriate or regret taking them – our kids are not sheltered from "language" or information though)
    4. Lunch at Fridheimar Tomato Farm. Everything about this place made us happy! Of course, we all love tomatoes. The food is delicious. The warm, golden light of the green house feeds the plants and your soul and gives you a happy buzz. Service is friendly and impeccable. If you get just the soup buffet, it won't break the bank either. It's all you can eat tomato soup with butter, sour cream, julienned cucumbers in vinegar and basil for topping said soup and mounds and mounds of various delicious, rustic, made on site bread and coffee or tea to end the meal. Of course, you can order a few other tomato-based dishes too…and we did. So, this ended up being our most expensive meal, but it was my birthday and a splurge was in order. Oh, and it's best to make a reservation.
    5. The Saga Museum. It is a wax figure museum that tells the tales of the most famous Icelandic Sagas or stories. We each had an auditory guide and went through the fairly small museum at our own pace. It was beneficial for understanding many stories, locations, tours, etc. throughout our trip.
    6. The Perlan…or the Pearl. This is a wonderful museum for understanding the geologic formations and phenomena on the island. We found it quite educational. Additionally, there is a manmade ice tunnel/cave/glacier that is kept below freezing and made from ice. We took a guided tour through and it was really interesting. There is a deck around the top of Perlan that offers a wonderful view of the surrounding area.

If you have the chance to travel to Iceland, do it! It is such a wonderful trip, no matter what season you choose to go. I have other tidbits about places to stay and where to eat, and maybe one day I'll get around to writing those posts.

Where are you headed?

Anna

Travel Cents {Savvy Travel Tips}

My children will grow up to be world travelers with a passion for exploration or hermits who never want to leave the comfort and familiarity of home. I'm hoping for the former.

Since my kids were little bitty, we have gone and done all that we could afford and fit into the schedule. I decided early on that they would have to roll with it when it came to schedules…that is, I didn't keep strict schedules of mealtimes, naptimes and bedtimes – not if it interfered with doing something fun or meeting a friend out for a walk or coffee and playtime.

There were certainly lean years that we could afford only the nearby and free events, but more recently we've been able to go farther and do more, more frequently. Traveling when and where we want to is just one of the perks of homeschooling.

So, my kids are still having to roll with it and drive and fly and walk wherever I find a good deal to go and explore. In this past year we've spent time in Florida, Missouri, Texas, Oklahoma, Washington, D.C., Virginia, Illinois, Georgia, Iowa, Wisconsin and explored our own state of Minnesota. We go where I find cheap airline tickets and where we have family and friends.

Traveling teaches so much. Of course, we learn about the history or industry or art or culture of the particular area in visiting museums and going on tours, etc., but we also learn about the people who live there, the ins and outs of a city – the way a city feels, especially the cities we walk. Traveling itself can teach patience and resilience and going with the flow when things go wrong. But more than anything else, removing yourself from the familiar and going out into the world and exploring and experiencing new things broadens the mind. And this is what I strive to achieve when we hit the road or soar into the sky.

Oh, sure, there's often whining or complaining along the way, but I choose to ignore that and keep pointing out the beautiful, interesting, new things we're seeing. And once we get somewhere the boys forget their worries or complaints.

So, that's the why and here's the how.

I search for deals.

I particularly like to fly Southwest Airlines. There are no hidden fees, each person gets 2 checked bags free and you can get really amazing fares. Recently, we flew to Atlanta for $49 apiece. For this most recent trip, I actually bought us 3 different one way tickets and it saved us about $700 in the end.

I check Groupon and Living Social for specials on activities. I do this for local activities and for the places we travel to. I have gotten bus tours and mini golf and boat tours and museum passes and even transportation deals this way. I even found a fantastic deal on a hotel in Miami through Groupon. Sometimes I call the business and check on availability or schedules before purchasing and often they give me a better deal to just go through them.

I schedule our trips for the off-season, if possible. This can really save money. 

Learn about the area if you won't have your vehicle with you and figure out if you can walk from hotel to activities/tours, etc. or if there is mass transit that's a good option. In D.C., we had several good, economical mass transit options to choose from. We went with the D.C. Circulator bus week pass that cost of $11 apiece.

If no good mass transit options exist, perhaps Uber is a good choice or maybe you need to rent a car. If you end up needing to rent a vehicle, do call your insurance agent beforehand and see if she/he suggests skipping the added insurance that can really raise the price of the rental. My insurance agent told I didn't need to get any, no matter what the rental agent told me.

If you will be traveling for more than a few days, plan to bring along snacks of nuts, fruit, crackers, granola bars, tins of tuna, meat sticks, packets of nut butters, etc. I have been known to make a mean little smorgasbord from our snack stash. This point is especially important if you have special dietary needs and may not be able to get food that fit your needs in airports, on the go or in the middle of nowhere. I speak from experience.

Be sure your kids have activities to distract them from layovers or early or late travel. I have found that all my kids really need to keep themselves occupied while traveling is a computer or tablet, but I still encourage bringing along travel games, sketchpad and book, some snacks in their own bag and some suckers, if flying. My favorite suckers are the Organic Trader Joe's suckers – no artificial colors or flavors – and they work well for takeoffs and landing.

Do your research before your go. Be sure you know the costs and times of activities. Check weather and map out distances. Plan out an itinerary – even if it's just a tentative plan. Know where restaurants are in conjunction with your activities, especially if you have picky eaters or special diets to consider. Hangry kids are no fun! Plan accordingly.

Double check with TripAdvisor. There are reviews on just about everything these days, and I have found this site to be very helpful in deciding whether to go somewhere, how long we will need to allow for activities, the cleanliness of hotels and which rooms/floor/side to request, etc.

If you homeschool, be sure to ask if there is a special rate for homeschools/educators/students. There often is a discount to be had.

And if you have a membership at your hometown museum or zoo, be sure to check reciprocity deals. Our Minnesota Science Museum membership has more than paid for itself due to its many partnerships with other museums.

Now, what's stopping you? The whole world is out there waiting. Over and out…

Anna

5 Things {To Save World}

OK….So, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit when it comes to saving the world, but still, hear me out.

Plastic is a big problem for our Earth. As in, it takes years and years and years and years to break down. Some sources say it may takes plastic containers, bottles and bags 100s or even 1000s of years to break down. The truth is, we don't actually know how long it will take. Plastic bags have been around only 50 years….and they're all still piling up in landfills, etc.

So, our family has been trying our darndest to greatly reduce the amount of plastic we use. I know what you're thinking, "Your one little family not using so much plastic isn't going to save the world or make any great impact." And you're right. That's why each of us should be doing our part in "saving the world" whether it's reducing plastic usage, using fewer or no harmful chemicals in our homes, reducing our overall all carbon footprints, etc.

And did you know if you used just 3 reusable produce bags a week, you'd reduce your plastic bag usage by 150 in just one year? And did you further know that the average family goes through about 500 plastic baggies a year just for school and work lunches?

The way I see it is that if we choose to do things that reduce the waste and the harmful chemicals released into our air and leave our world a purer place for our kids and their kids or at the very least slow the damage to our planet and our people, then it's worth it.

And really these 5 things are EASY…there's just one I have trouble with….

1. Norwex Snack Bags/Sandwich Wraps. We NEVER send plastic baggies in school lunches. We also opt for reusable spoons and forks and travel sized enviro cloths for lunch napkins for waste free lunches. These bags are also great for small toys, crayons, pacifiers, etc. even makeup or nail files and polishes, etc., etc.
2. Reusable Bags for Shopping. Here's the one I have trouble with. I have them in my car, and I usually remember to take them in at Trader Joe's and my co-op, but often forget them when running into Target or a clothing store or shoe store, etc. I'm working on this one. And when I forget I do take my plastic bags to Target to recycle….I hope they actually recycle them!
3. Norwex Mesh Produce Bags. I use these at the grocery stores for fruits and veggies and for picking tomatoes and peppers in our garden – we have had a huge tomato crop and these bags are great for this job. My son even took one to school to store his headphones in. I use one in the freezer for the bananas that go mushy before they are eaten and get used in muffins, breads and pancakes. They are also great for washing grapes so that you don't lose them down the drain or for washing and/or storing Legos bath toys or Barbies and so many other things!
4. Compostable Trash Bags. I feel good about using these. I found 2 different brands at Lakewinds Co-op. They aren't too pricey and there are several sizes, depending on your needs. We have found them to be pretty strong and to work well.
5. Norwex Stainless Steel Straws. Think about how many millions of straws are tossed out each day….staggering isn't it? Well, if you use them in your own home or often stop for a carbonated beverage or shake or smoothie, then these stainless steel straws will serve you well. There's even a handy brush to clean them well! Again, I am working out a system to keep them in my car and remember to grab these and not the plastic version when we stop for a refreshing drink. My boys love to use them with milk.

OK, OK….I actually have 7 points for you, not 5….

1. Silicone Lids. I have been using these for about a year or so now. Norwex just launched a version too – work just the same and they are fantastic! The lids are safe for stovetops, ovens, microwaves and the fridge. There are so many reasons to love them. I don't even use metal lids for my pots now. The silicone lids make perfect rice, make the pasta water boil faster, keep food warm and still good for hours, steams veggies to perfection, keep baked good fresh and moist AND no more plastic wrap! Plus fewer dishes to wash since you can go from stove to fridge in the same container. Oh, and they don't stain or retain odor.
2. Beeswax & Cloth Wrap. I found this at my Lakewinds Co-op too, and they are great! They come in several sizes and even a variety pack. I use them to wrap cheese, bread, fruits, veggies, whatever and, again, NO PLASTIC WRAP or BAGGIES! You simply rinse it with cool water and dry it off and then wrap up the food. The warmth of your hand will mold and seal the beeswax and cloth wrap.

And this is what we're doing, along with removing all harmful chemicals from our home and recycling tons of plastic, paper and glass. Of course, there are always more things we can do…and we will. What are you focusing on changing in your home? Over and out….

Anna

**Full Disclosure: one of the many hats I wear is that of Norwex Independent Sales Consultant. However, none of these products were given to me and no company sponsored this post. This is simply my opinion based on experience using these products in my home.

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Be Kind and Do the Right Thing {It’s Really That Simple, Isn’t it?}

What if we made decisions based on reason and good sense and because it was in the best interest for all or at least most? What then?

What would our world look like? What would we think of our leaders then? How would we feel about mankind? How would we feel about ourselves?

There are a few things that have really bothered me over the last few weeks; items from news headlines and articles. Here they are {in brief} and my thoughts on them {in brief…as brief as I can be}:

All Parents have Challenges

Gwyneth says moms with "regular" jobs working 9 to 5 have it easier than "movie stars" working 14 hours on location.

My Take: Don't compare yourself to others and their situations. You have no idea the challenges, burdens and sacrifices that another has faced or is facing. Simply be kind to others and live your own life. And if you don't like your life, take steps to change that – this goes for "movie stars" too.

I have no doubt it is challenging to be a celebrity and a mom, but it is also challenging to be "regular" mom working 9 to 5 in an office or working from home or working shifts or whatever a mom's situation is. Can we just agree it's challenging to be a mom?

Government could Save $400 Million with One Simple Change

Fourteen year-old boy comes up with a simple (& proven) way to save the federal and state governments $400 million dollars each year by changing the font in which they use for printing purposes; Times New Roman uses more ink than Garamond. By printing in Garamond, the governments would save this astronomical (to me) amount in ink costs.

My Take: This is remarkable. And yet, will the branches of government even consider such a change; a change that could mean closing the gap in other areas of their budgets or that this money could go towards more important things than ink? I doubt it. It seems that the government (federal and state) and the politicians running them are rarely interested in ways to truly be economical or do what is safer, healthier or smarter with our money. It is almost always about spending money in their districts or with their constituents or something that will benefit them personally, I am sorry to say.

But wouldn't it be great to see the government truly working with this 14 year-old and implementing this simple change?

If the government was run like a household budget, the government would most certainly try this money-saving plan.

Watch YourSELF! Don't be a Bully!

Self Magazine published a photo of two women running in a marathon wearing superhero-inspired tutus…and featured it in their BS Meter, Legit or Lame segment, calling it lame and making fun of them for wearing the tutus…one of the runners in the photo has cancer, ran while doing chemo and makes and sells the tutus to help fund a youth development program for girls…

My Take: This whole thing really smells to high heaven. They asked permission to use this photo and then proceeded to make fun of her and her friend… that's bad enough. But then, they find out she has cancer and was going through chemotherapy during the time she ran and she does good with the money she makes in selling these tutus….wow!

So, editors at Self, clearly you failed miserably on this photo, but I think you have failed overall with this whole segment. Who are you to poke fun at anyone? Even if she and her friend were simply runners, no cancer or nonprofits involved, it's not OK to make rude comments about someone. That is bullying behavior. I say ditch your BS Meter altogether.

I applaud the self-expression, and you can call me lame if you like, but anything superhero-inspired is cool in our household. And seriously, these two women were RUNNING A MARATHON! They ROCK…period!

Privacy Issues in School Bathrooms

There was a recent incident in a St. Paul school when a janitor was inappropriate in a boys bathroom.

My Take: As a mom to boys, I have often thought this is a bad idea for the men on staff to share a bathroom with the boys in the school, considering there are urinals and not just stalls. I think both boys and the male teachers/staff should have privacy in a bathroom at school. And having separate bathrooms for students and personnel affords protection from such instances, for both the adults and students. Of course, the same can be said for the girls bathrooms too, but there are at least stalls and doors, giving more privacy. And really, I'm not sure urinals without enclosures have a place in schools.

Suing Your Parents is NOT a Good Idea…EVER

A high school student sued her parents, trying to force them to pay for her college expenses. The suit was dropped and the girl moved home, fortunately.

My Take: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Clearly, this girl had lost her way somewhere and has hopefully found her path again now. There was little basis to her lawsuit. There was no evidence of abuse or neglect. Instead, it appeared to be a case of a girl not wanting to follow her parents' rules (which by reports from her parents were not terribly restricting) and leaving home on her own accord to live with a friend's family once she turned 18, but wanting her parents to continue to fund her life.

This friend's father was an attorney. It sounds like he talked her into suing her parents for her Catholic high school tuition payment and college living expenses for the next year. This is very unfortunate, it not only put attorneys in a bad light yet again, it also makes the girl look like a spoiled rotten, greedy brat (which may not have been the case at all) and these shenanigans cost all involved a great deal of expense and energy and heartache….all for nothing.

Usually simply talking out a problem is a good and cheap solution to most familial issues.

These are the headlines that have been knocking around in my head lately. And now you know my take on them. Over and out…

Anna

 

 

 

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Hockey Puck Logic {Patterns}

A few weeks ago, I worked a 6 hour shift at a hockey tournament, running the "chuck-a-puck" table. As hockey parents, my husband and I had to put in volunteer hours during the season or pony up a chunk of change; we opted for volunteering. I did all of my hours at one time at the chuck-a-puck table.

As I sat there bundled in my coat and scarf up against the icy coldness of the boards for four hockey games, I had a chance to examine the tendencies of the chuck-a-puck players.

I found it interesting how many of them were so precise in choosing their numbered pucks to be thrown onto the ice after the second period for a chance to win a pot of money. Others randomly took numbers, but some left nothing to chance when it came to their "lucky" numbers.

They based these picks on their kids' jerseys or their birthdays or family members' birthdays or professional players' numbers or some other numeric importance. Some were seriously thrown off if "their" numbers were already gone.

I kept track of these people and their chosen numbers. And you know what? Each person who won the pot of money was one who had systematically chosen his number.

I was surprised by this.

There are two elements of this event. You choose a puck with a number written on it. At the designated time, you throw your puck over the glass onto the center of the ice. So, you have to have a pretty good arm to get to the winner's circle. At each game, I sold between 30 and 60 pucks.

So, why would it matter if a man (all the winners were men) randomly picked up a puck, never even considering which number he had or if he methodically picked his lucky number? It shouldn't matter.

But it did seem to matter.

This made me think.

The winners of these chuck-a-puck contests were intentional about choosing their numbers. The felt confident about their chances of winning; they expected to win. Their goals were clear. They consistently chose the same numbers to accomplish their goals.

I know they were consistent because I asked them about their numbers. They readily shared their reasons for picking certain numbers and they always chose the same numbers. Chuck-a-puck might be unfamiliar to you, but these contests are a staple at hockey tournaments and games from mites to pros. These men knew the game and knew the numbers they wanted.

I am a staunch believer in setting goals and being consistent in your actions to reach those goals. Just as chuck-a-puck winners, you must have a clear goal to know what you want to accomplish, where you want to go and how you plan on getting there.

The goal is the roadmap; without it you are lost, wandering about, not knowing where to turn or how far you've come. Being consistent in working to reach that goal is what moves you down the road towards accomplishing that goal.

The third component to reaching the goal is believing in yourself and your abilities. The chuck-a-puck winners certainly had this going for them. They took the game seriously and believed they were choosing the winning puck and they believed in their abilities and strength to throw the puck over the glass into the center of the ice and be the winner.

The random number choosers, were not consistent and didn't truly believe they would win; they did it for their kids who begged for a dollar for a puck; they did it to support the local hockey association; they did it because they always do. It mattered not which numbers were chosen' they're all the same anyway to the random chooser. They put no forethought into their picks or their throws over the glass. It's just a game, right?

Well, in life, if you just randomly go along without a plan or end goal in mind you won't get very far. Randomness will pervade all you do because there is no point to your actions.

I was truly astonished by the results of the chuck-a-puck events, at first. But as I thought it over and looked at it from this perspective, the perspective of life as a whole, it all made sense. So, will these people intentionally picking numbers always win, every time? No. Sometimes they will win and sometimes they won't. And this is true of life as well, but these people will keep playing and will continue to be intentional in their choices and goals, confidently throwing those pucks over and over.

So, be confident, be intentional and know your goals. And that, my friends, is the moral of the story. Over and out…

Anna

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Five {Determined and Charming}

An Open Letter to a Smug, Punk-Ass Twerp {AKA Justin Bieber}

Dear Smug, Punk-Ass Twerp, {And I mean that in the kindest way possible}

Wipe that stupid grin off your face! You are looking at some serious charges with your latest shenanigans.

If I were your mom, I would sit you down and have a serious talk with you before it's too late {of course, if I were your mom, we would have had many serious talks by now}.

You, sonny, have been given a gift. While I have no idea what you sing or what you sound like or why girls go wild for you, you must have some kind of talent. But your talent is not the gift. Many people have talent; a large number of people have a great deal more talent than you do {in my opinion}.

The gift is Opportunity. You have been given the opportunity to develop your talent; live your dreams; be a positive role model to look up to; travel the world; have amazing experiences; do things to help others and make a real difference in this world.

And yet, in your youthful, arrogant, ignorance you are squandering this gift. You make scenes everywhere you go; act like you are "somebody" with having done nothing; trash hotel rooms; drink alcohol {may I remind you, you are still a minor}; use drugs; race cars in residential streets; hurl insults and curse words at police officers; and expect to get away with all of it.

But let me tell you something, kid; you better straighten up your act soon! The world quickly tires at the escapades of such spoiled brats. There will always be another rotten, over-entitled teen "star" taking your place as your own star fades away.

If you continue slipping down this slope of over-indulgence and self-destruction your future is clear, but not bright or promising. You are a dime a dozen….so far. You are not special….yet.

So, Biebs, do you want to "be someone?" Do you want to "do something?" Do you want to be remembered for something other than your demise? Do you want to live to see the ripe old age of 30? Well, then GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER NOW!

Many have trod down that path; few have overcome the demons of wealth, of fame, of celebrity. This is your chance; take it or leave it. But don't wait long to decide; the window of redemption will not stay open long and certainly does not give superstar punks VIP treatment.

But take heart, you could still be a legend, regardless of which path you take. In fact, people {and cable TV} like to tell the stories of those poor, misguided, young souls who were eaten up by the world of sex and drugs and rock and roll and spit out as hollow shells of nobodies.

Is it really so hard to choose to do good for others, be a respectable, responsible and talented role model and live the good life of opportunity? For your sake, and your mom's sake, {and for all those screaming, fainting girls looking up to you} I hope you straighten up. And you can start by wiping that punk-ass smile off your baby face.

Over and out…

Anna

Hospitality {Searching for Meaning}

Just a Word

Hospitality…. A word that is often used, but rarely contemplated.

The word "hospitality" has been bumping around in my head for several months. I tried to write something on this subject several times, but the words did not come; they just weren't there.

It all started one Sunday, as I sat in a pew at the Basilica of St. Mary. Father Bauer was speaking. I always enjoy Father Bauer's homilies. They are short and sweet; just enough to give you comprehension, but lacking just enough to make you think; make you want more and seek clarification within yourself.

His words get stuck there, like a burr in your sock that keeps rubbing against your skin, irritating you until you do something about it.

Well, that's exactly what happened with this homily and the word "hospitality."

Searching for Meaning

I looked up the dictionary meaning; the root word and their meanings; I explored my thoughts, but there was nothing there to expand on.

And yet, still I heard the word echoing through my mind day after day, week after week.

Last week, I got the Basilica magazine, as I flipped through it, a word caught my attention…. Hospitality. There was an article on The Hospitality of St. Julian and a piece of art with that title that hangs in the room of the Basilica that welcomes those in great need each day, offering aid in many forms.

I took this as a sign that I was not to give up on this word and this piece I had tried to write.

I have the words now.

The article says, "Hospitality is defined as the reception and entertainment of strangers or guests without hope of reward."

We associate hospitality with free refreshments at a gathering, a service rendered for no fee, opening up our home to our guests for a dinner party or holiday perhaps. These are hospitable acts that is true, but I think it's more than that.

The 13^th Midcentury meaning from Old French means a place for the needy, a charitable institution.

We can be needy in many ways; sometimes we need the basics for getting from day to day; nourishment and shelter; sometimes we are in need of being lifted up spiritually; sometimes we fall into a deep, dark hole and need help to climb back out.

Acts of Love

Hospitality.

As I thought about this word, I recalled several acts of hospitality that has been bestowed upon me. Oddly enough, the first three that came to mind involve food. And yet, food or nourishment of the body and soul do have a lot to do with hospitality.

I remember several years ago, after my friend had read a post I wrote on feeling numb and sad and lost, she showed up at my door with a smile, a hug and big loaf of chocolate babka bread, it was the day before Christmas Eve and she had just arrived home from a trip; she had a jillion other things to do that day. She didn't say a word about the post or that she was worried about me, but I knew what she was doing. It warmed my heart and helped me start climbing out of that hole. That was hospitality.

That same year, right before Thanksgiving our adored Saint Bernard suddenly died, absolutely breaking our hearts. My friends started showing up with meals for our family, understanding how devastated we were to lose this member of our family. That was hospitality.

During a hard time, several years ago, I opened the door to find a big box with a ham and bacon and pancake mix and cheese and more that my dad had ordered from his favorite Vermont ham vendor. That food fed us for a while, nourishing our bodies and spirit. That was hospitality.

A friend who hears your worries, your pain, your needs in your voice, in your silence, in your outbursts and quietly, simply offers you aid in whatever form she or he can. That is hospitality.

A stranger who reaches out to help another who is in need; asking no questions and never thinking about what's in it for himself. That is hospitality.

The Scoop

At this time of year, the needs of others seems to be most apparent. Spirits and temperatures fall; needs rise, in all forms.

Often, I find myself pausing before I offer aid. Will the person be offended? Perhaps I don't understand the situation? Should I put myself out there and help this person? Sometimes I just step up and do what needs to be done; simply offer what I can. I should do that more often; we all should. 

So, as you bustle about getting Thanksgiving dinner ready, greeting guests, going about with "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" on your lips, I hope the word "Hospitality" will echo through your mind, irritating your little gray cells until you stop to consider this apt holiday term.

May you have a most Happy Thanksgiving! Over and out….

Anna

Plugged In {A False Sense of Urgency}

I check my phone when I get up. I open up my computer soon after that. I usually have at least 5 tabs open online at all times. I monitor email from three accounts, texts, Facebook notifications and messages and Twitter notifications and messages. I run several businesses and connect socially and read news. I stay connected.

Most of the time I like being connected; staying in touch; being accessible. Sometimes I need it to stop.

In this world of always being plugged in, tuned in and completely distracted all of the time, it's hard not to feel a sense of urgency….every minute of the day….every day of the week.

Even when on vacation (which is rare) or late at night or at dinner time or bed time or during family time or me time or any time, it's hard to tell everyone "I'm simply not available. I will get back to you soon" and just turn it all off.

We have created a culture that is never more than a fingertip away from a quick response. What a great way to connect and reply and inform and be informed. Except this connection sometimes feels like a burden.

If everyone always knows that you surely will see the text or message or email or voicemail there is a feeling of urgency. It will just take a second to tap out a quick response. It won't distract from your current undertaking.

Except that it is never just one tiny interruption.

We allow the "convenience" of technology to rule our lives. We allow ourselves to be duped by the idea that electronic interruptions won't detract from our being present in the moment with our families and friends. We allow ourselves to believe that we are being efficient and aiding others by immediately responding.

I am as guilty of this as anyone else. Alas, I am also guilty of sending communications to someone at night, on a weekend, when I know they are busy with family duties or otherwise occupied and anxiously awaiting a response; thinking surely he or she saw this text/message/email/voicemail and could quickly and easily respond….

Everyone and everything moves faster these days. Need a reminder of this? Just watch a movie from the 1980s and notice how slowly the plot unfolds and how deliberate each line is delivered and gauge your own antsy pants and how you want to check your phone for messages and the time and how you think to yourself, "I don't remember this movie moving so slowly."

I do so appreciate our speed in communications. I need it for my business. It's how I stay connected to friends and family. It keeps my life humming along.

But what I must remember is that I am in control of these electronic devices. I can decide when I will respond to their beeps and hums and vibrations. I will not feel a sense of urgency when I am "off" the clock.

I will look up and see the vibrantly colored leaves. I will watch my kids play at the park. I will listen to my husband's stories from the day. I will allow my brain to be uncluttered and sit quietly and patiently in that solitude. I will stick to my work schedule and that includes communications coming to me through my phone. I will enjoy the view. I will not feel that sense of urgency every minute of every day.

How about you? Over and out…

Anna

Photo Op {I Spy}

A Spy Training Camp Birthday Party {In Photos}....because maybe you care.

My recently turned 7 year-old son LOVES everything spy/secret agent related....EVERYTHING. So, naturally, this was the theme he chose for his birthday party. I found several helpful resources online and then found everything I need at home or at the dollar store.

This was my most favorite of all the birthday parties we've done, so far.

 

We did everything outside.

 

I made "Cherry Bombs" or Cherry Chocolate Whoopie Pies and served fruit snacks, popcorn and water and juice boxes. E-A-S-Y!

 

There were multiple spy camp training courses: designing a disguise, making a passport,
mixing "chemicals" for truth serum, etc., target practice, laser beam training and vigilance training.

 

Of course, each spy recruit completed the training and received his trophy and "Official Spy Kit."

 

Fun was had by all; even with a bit of rain. After all, a spy has to know how to handle all types of situations!

 

So, what lessons have I learned....keep it outside....parties get better with age {the kids' ages, that is}! Over and out...

Anna

**I'm off to a conference this weekend, but when I return I think I may finally have a chance to finish my posts on camp waivers, reminders about heat and cars and dangers for kids and pets and my take on Zimmerman and Martin and more....

Brothers; A Close Bond {The Glue that Binds Together or the Wedge that Breaks Apart?}

A Close Bond

My boys are 2 years and 2 months apart in age. They are not twins as they sometimes say they are. And yet, they are not so different in size. They often dress alike. They share a bedroom and often a bed. They have amazingly similar and wildly different likes and dislikes. They are protective and concerned and loving towards each other. They are overly competitive and hateful and rude and bullies towards one another. They are forever linked by their DNA, their upbringing and their tight love/hate relationship.

They are brothers.

Bad Seeds or Good Apples

Brothers have been on my mind lately.

We have begun a new tradition of reading a passage from a Children's Bible at the dinner table each evening. I recently remarked on the number of brothers who despise and kill or set out to ruin the other; something that I had failed to ponder so much before giving birth to two brothers.

I recently picked up a magazine and read an excerpt from a book about brothers. There were many interesting connections, observations and theories regarding brothers and their birth order in this article, but what struck me was the conclusion that brothers are not necessarily alike, despite similar DNA and their shared parents and experiences don't mean much; it's more about their personalities, birth order and one's perception of a shared experience, which is often quite different from that of his brother.

I saw a headline that said something to the effect of "Two Brothers become dads within minutes of one another just a few doors apart at the same hospital." The article said the brothers were best friends; they saw each other quite frequently; lived near each other and were thrilled to add this experience to a list of many others.

Then, just this past week, I read something about the Boston terrorists; the brothers. And this article outlined the number of terrorists in recent and past history that were brothers; apparently, a shared closeness, such as that of a brother, can aid in shutting out the rest of the world and help them to believe their own flawed perceptions are true and right.

Of course, those shared experiences and likenesses and differences can also create amazing, beautiful, imaginative, innovative industry, ideas, art, etc. Think of the Wright Brothers, the Coen Brothers, the Marx brothers, the Gershwin Brothers, the Rockefeller Brothers, etc.

The Scoop

Perhaps, one day people will add the Berend Brothers to such a list for a great achievement in something. Or perhaps they will grow up, split up and take up very different lives, barely seeing each other during their adulthoods.

I see their similarities and the differences. I see how they comfort each other and rile each other. I see how they take up for each other and guide each other and encourage each other through difficult tasks or feelings. I see how they taunt and compete and physically strike out at each other.

I see all these things. And I think about my two sweet, stubborn, creative, boisterous, tough, sensitive boys sound asleep tangled up together in the lower bunk and I wonder will they be close and protective and loving when they are adults; will they always need each other; will they never plot to do evil; will they always understand each other?

This mother's heart prays for a loving, peaceful, steadfast relationship for these Brothers; a relationship that does no harm to each other or their families or to strangers, but one that produces only beautiful and inspiring and inventive outcomes, whatever they may be.

Brothers; there is no other relationship quite like it. Over and out....

Anna

*Coincidentally, we have a shortage of sisters in our household.... we don't have a daughter; I have a brother, but no sisters; my dear husband has only 2 brothers; no sisters.

The Luxury of Time {A Daydream}

If I had unlimited funds, this is what I would do.....

Volunteer for weekly shifts with the St. Vincent de Paul organization in my church....before I had kids I did this and it was immensely rewarding, gut-wrenching and such a blessing. They do great things with very few resources...

Travel with my family on a regular basis.... in our country, out of our country, covering many terrains, cultures, languages and foods...

Paint...on canvas...it's something I've been wanting to try...

Create funds for school lunches, school supplies, school programs and trips, give funds to food pantry programs, animal shelters and those in need of basic necessities...

Write and write and write to my heart's content....

Hire someone to clean my house, take care of my yard and do administrative tasks for me...

Buy a nice camera, learn how to use and snap tons of beautiful photos...

Spend lots of time in the kitchen baking, cooking, creating...

Read books, one after another...

Some of these sound simple and cheap; things one could do without having unlimited funds. It's true, but the issue becomes time; time is money, as the saying goes. And when you are self-employed, as I am, that is definitely true. So, for me, unlimited funds, means time....time to choose how to fill my hours, days, months. And this is how I would fill them. What would you do? Over and out...

Anna

Random Tidbits: On a Rampage {Strong Opinions}

New Rules

I've been juggling a lot with work lately, which means that everything else suffers. So, I've decided to make some rules for myself, and I'm really trying to stick with it.

I'm setting weekly office hours. We're holding weekly family meetings with an agenda, a white board and an Angry Bird (that's a whole other post...stay tuned). I'm standing firm on what I can and cannot add to my overly stuffed schedule...and refusing to feel guilty about saying "No" when I need to.

Unfortunately, one of the things that has taken a backseat to being a priority lately has been writing. So, I'm trying this Random Bits style again...cuz you know I have things to say, but just not much time to get them said!

Bits and Pieces

1. Y'all know how I feel about using your phone and driving, right?! If you don't then read this: I Hit A Child with My Car and all the other Distracted Driving posts I've written. Well, my friend, Trina, a dedicated Phone Down, Eyes Up driver sent me this photo that her friend sent to her. I love it! And there's a lot of truth in this statement...believe it.
   
2. In DC, a Councilmember has introduced a bill to curb cheating. If passed, it would make facilitating cheating on standardized tests illegal. Now I'm certainly against cheating, but what troubles me is that there has to be such laws in place to prevent school personnel from tampering with tests.

   Shouldn't this be a given to teachers and administrators? Perhaps, the better answer is to take a look at why there is such a need to "fix" standardized tests in this district and examine the education resources and funding.

3. Apparently there is overcrowding at the Metro Louisville jail in Kentucky. The solution? Well, USA Today reports that "tech-savvy professionals will use technology and data to study the overcrowding," of course. The pros will be trying to find some possible solutions.

   News Flash! I've got a solution. Use that money to study how to get kids off the streets, keep them safe, educate them, and get them out of the cycle of committing crimes-jail-committing crimes-jail that many of their older siblings, parents, aunts and uncles and friends are in instead of employing "tech-savvy professionals." This is not an engineering/spatial problem; this is societal issue, a human interest story that could have happy ending.

4. Lastly, the total cost of the 2012 elections, from federal to state to local offices, was...hold on to your boots, friends... $7.3 BILLION (according to Politico.com)! WHAT A WASTE! Don't get me started on what that could have been spent on. This amount of money could have made a huge impact on many of the very causes and issues and institutions and families addressed by the candidates running for office. So many could have been greatly benefitted by even a fraction of this money being spent in a positive way. Here are more of my thoughts on the subject of political campaign spending.

The Scoop

Hmmm, it turns out I'm full of opinions this Monday morning. Well, there you have it. Over and out...

Anna

Visions of Perfection Dancing in My Head {Fantastical Illusions of a Flawless Home}

Clashing Styles

I like a cozy, comfortable, warm, inviting home. For me, that means adding colors and textures, favorite objects and art {regardless of any monetary value}, family mementos, well-loved books and often used items. I like creating interesting and inspiring and relaxing spaces. For me, this means everything has a place and is situated just so; not formal, but organized.

My children like a loud, messy, comfy, disorganized, piles of this and that kind of home. They accomplish this look each day by getting out as many toys, books, pillows, blankets, costumes, papers, balls, toy weapons, crayons and miscellaneous items as they possibly can and scattering them throughout our home.

My husband can live quite comfortably in this way without ever even noticing the piles of this and that and mounds of pillows and stuffed animals and a mixture of legos, blocks and super heroes stretching from the living room to the kitchen and back through the dining room into the hall and venturing into each room from that point.

Can you see how our two styles differ?

In these past 6 years of having children I have come to reconcile the differences and live with a few precious breakables in place and arranged out of reach of rowdy children, giant dog tails and slinking cats; I have embraced my style and theirs, as best I could; and I have continued to strive for a warm, inviting, colorful home.

Fantastical Illusions

During the winter holiday season, I like to "deck my halls" with festive items; some breakable, some delicate, some old, some new. Each year it has been easier to decorate and not worry that a little one was going to go along behind me and undecorate or break or destroy my holiday landscape.

For some reason, this season I've read a number of magazines aimed at women who like to design/decorate their homes. And I have come to the conclusion that these magazines are just as noxious as the fashion magazines that air brush bodies and faces and distort our sense of what a healthy, normal body looks like.

Let me explain.

These magazines have lots of great ideas from designers, which we can accept as being perfect, pie-in-the-sky, absolutely beautiful, regardless of whether they are practical or not. But these home magazines also feature {real} families, supposedly just like us, the readers.

And this is where it gets dangerous.

We are told these families are just every day, All-American types, living down on the farm {giant ranch} or in a suburb {the best neighborhood in the metro area} in a nice, not too small, but not huge {million dollar} home, decorated by the wifey {and her interior designer whom Siri is on a first name basis with, based on the number of calls she has placed for the wife}.Bitter? Just a bit.

Let me explain.

It's a hard act to follow! The articles and photos make it look like vintage silk covered chairs can easily co-exist with little Jr. and his art supplies and formal dining {in the formal dining room} with fine china, crystal and an intricately designed, draping, cascading, shiny, sparkling breakable centerpiece is a piece of cake with five kids 8 and under.

The articles describe the antique ornaments, each one lovely preserved for five generations, shipped over box by box during World War II; or how the wife created each sparkly bauble for the tree in her spare time.

The photos show mom and dad, happily baking 25 dozen cookies for the homeless with their squeaky clean, monogrammed-apron-wearing kidlets in their 2000 square foot kitchen full of top-of-the-line appliances and technology. The article points out how difficult it was for the family to live without a kitchen during the recent renovation.

Real World

Their décor is spot-on; the home is pristine, in the photos, but I'd like to know what it looks like right this very second. I'd like to know if little Jr. is usually banished from the formal living and dining rooms; I'd like to know if they dump the baskets of clean laundry on a bed or a couch until there's time to fold it; I'd like to know if the kids are really that squeaky clean and Gap Kids ad worthy all the time; I'd like to know if someone else put up the tree and decorated it and the rest of the house while the family was out doing whatever it is that families like that do.

I know it's just a magazine, but truth be told that is the kind of house I'd like to live in. Hey, that's the kind of life I'd like to live; clean, pretty, organized and close to perfect, at least by the looks of it.

The reality is, no one {that I know of} lives in that kind of home on a daily basis. Life is dirty and messy and busy and complicated and rushed and the tree ornaments do not always compliment the colors in the drapes in a way that is intended to bring out the subtle colors in the rug. That's just life....as I know it.

The Scoop

With that said, I do take inspiration from many of the projects and designs in these very magazines; some I even attempted to do this holiday season. And I do feel a tinge of jealously when peering into their seemingly beautiful, immaculate, perfect homes and lives.

But living in that kind of home would mean no dogs or cats, no kid art hung on the walls, no elaborate and strangely large spy traps built in the living room and no hanging up "Baby's 1^st Christmas" ornaments just because it wasn't the right color scheme for this year's tree. So, I'll take messy and chaotic with a touch of class and style. Over and out....

Anna

The ABCs of Anna’s 38th Birthday

This started out as something that Darling 2 and I were working on when he came up with it one afternoon, and then I decided to type it out. We got part way through the alphabet and then got distracted and went on to something else. When I came back to it, I started thinking of my own birthday {Oct. 14^th}, and this is what I came up with:

A is for an Awesome Day to be Celebrated

B is for Balloons and Breakfast in Bed

C is for Cake and any other Confections that Come My Way

D is for Decking the Halls with Decorations; handmade by my Darling Boys

E is for Eternal Youth {I can hope for it, at least}

F is for Facebook Birthday Wishes

G is for Gifts

H is for "Happy Birthday!"

I is for Ice Cream

J is for Just Between Friends Conversations Over Coffee

K for Some Kid-Free Time

L is for Lattes

M is for Birthday Shoppin' Money

N is for Natural, Ageless Inner Beauty {I aspire to have this, at the very least}

O is for Getting Older and Enjoying It

P is for Pastries at Patisserie {46, that is}

Q is for Quiet Moments Alone

R is for Dinners Out at Restaurants and Red Roses

S is for Sweet Surprises

T is for Treasured Memories of Birthdays Past

U is for getting Carded; Just in Case You're Underage {Yeah right, but it happens}

V is for Vino; a Glass or Two

W is for Blowing Out Candles and Making Wishes

X is for eXtra Special Treatment

Z is for getting lots of Beauty Sleep ZZZs So Age Doesn't Matter!

What do your ABCs stand for? Over and out...

Anna

Curb Appeal: Sometimes Things in Life are Free

Free Stuff

"??Lamb Meat?? We have some lamb meat that we would like to give away, it has been in our deep freezer. There is nothing wrong with it, my family just don't eat it. We have Lamb roast, lamb stew meat, and a leg of lamb. Thanks for looking!"

    ~from a Craigslist posting under Free Stuff

Uh huh.....I don't know about you, but lamb meat from someone's freezer is NOT something I'd accept from a stranger, free or not.

But hold the phone; if you live in a city and you aren't checking this heading on your local Craigslist site before you head out the store, then you're selling yourself short.

At first, it was amusing to see what people were posting; the frozen lamb meat??, a sprinkler that kind of works, a couple of hens and some roosters, Depends adult diapers, but then I started really looking at the postings and for one whole weekend we monitored the "Free Stuff."

The Haul

Here's what we got....for free: a solid oak dining table, a slightly nicked and scratched Ethan Allen shelving unit, a three tiered wall shelf, a wicker chair {I'm a sucker for wicker}; art paper, crayons and chalk (for the kids), a 2 drawer file cabinet and a small shelving unit for closet organization, or office supplies, in my case, and big camping tent.

There were some cool things we weren't quick enough on the draw to get too. And there were things we just didn't need, but that would have been fabulous in someone's home.

Often all these items need are a good scrubbing and perhaps a coat of paint or varnish and sometimes, they are in perfect condition; like the dining table we got.

The Ethan Allen piece can be seen in the photo above. I cleaned it, filled in a few scratches with wood fill and then painted it yellow. I pulled together an ensemble of items from various rooms in our home to make this inviting area in our bedroom, without spending anything.

Before we got this round dining table, we had always had a rectangle table. This table is much smaller than our old one, but the change in shape seems to have changed our meal time atmosphere. For some reason, this smaller, round table is creating more unity and better conversations to our mealtime and work/homework time in the evenings.

I haven't found a place for my wicker chair or wall shelf yet, but I will. And I'll be watching the Free Stuff listings too. I may never buy another piece of wood furniture again.

Items to Skip Over

There are items I would avoid, besides the frozen lamb meat. I would never get a mattress/box springs, linens or luggage from Craigslist. I would be concerned about bed bugs, etc. Unless, you know how to re-upholster, I wouldn't choose the free couches and chairs, etc. either, but there could be some exceptions. I would steer clear of any food listings, formula listings or anything with an expiration date. And one should NEVER pick up for free (or buy) a used car seat or car seat base for safety reasons.

The Scoop

The thing about Craigslist is that you just never know what you're going to find. So, check it out, have fun, be creative and use your head when it comes to what you get and where you go to get it, but don't think about it for too long, because if it's fantastic and free, it won't be on the curb for long. Over and out...

Anna

Motherly Advice {The Perfect Life}

This is what I thought my life would look like. Seriously. It may sound naïve and silly and immature, but this house is an actual house in the town where Will and I went to college; where we met and fell in love; where we spun sugary strands of silken dreams of how our lives would go and what we do and where we would live, and the kids we would have and the trips we would take.

And this is what I thought it would look like....perfect, cozy, neat and precise; a comfortable life with lots of sure things and laughter and dinner parties and fun and very little not-sure-what-our-next-move-is-in-this-game-of-Life; Real Life, that is.

But...as you all know, there are no sure things in life.

No, our life has been bumpy and gravelly with good times, bad times and in-between times, but a home like that has never been in sight; not yet, at least.

I was reminded by my silly, inexperienced projection of "our beautiful life together" when I was in that town visiting my in-laws recently. I absent-mindedly passed by that house and it caught my attention. Suddenly, those ideas came flooding back to me.

It would have been a beautiful life; the life I had imagined for us. Yes, indeed.

There are days I think, "Ah, this is the life I wouldn't change a thing about this moment" and then there are other times that I yearn for a more picturesque life of more of this and less of that, if even for just a short while.

I'm not complaining though; only reviewing, reminiscing and re-thinking.

We each take different roads; each leading to different places; some are long and winding and lovely, but really only take you in one big loop, never truly getting anyway; some are short and sweet, but the scenery never changes; and others are hilly, then flat, then curving, up and down, high above the coastline, then through the mountains, with a short stretch of desert, then through lush valleys, across great blue lakes, always continuing, always an adventure, with new lessons to be learned at every turn and dead end.

The latter is the road we have taken. Where it ultimately leads, we won't know til the bitter {or sweet} end. So, we may never call a "perfect" storybook house like this one home, but we will have truly played the game of Life and taken chances along the way. Over and out...

Anna

Less Than Perfect Behavior: Temporary Orders

While we were visiting Texas, we celebrated Darling 1's birthday. My sister-in-law had gotten a gift for Darling 2, as well, since his birthday is in a few months and it would be easier on her to give it to him now in-person and easier on him to receive it now while his brother was getting lots of gifts; it's hard to understand these kinds of things when you're still a little guy.

Well, Darling 2 knew about this gift, and he wanted to open it right away because he's 3 and impatient with a single-focus when there are presents to be had.

Darling 2 didn't care about the schedule of the evening or the reasoning behind waiting. All he knew is that he wanted that gift. Darling 2 felt angry and distraught and powerless in his situation; and he couldn't think of anything else.

As the evening advanced, he became more and more difficult and more and more upset knowing there was something he wanted in that bag, but wasn't able to have it until someone in charge gave the OK.

Eventually, he got to open that present and was ecstatic to find a Transformer. He quickly forgot the agony he had been in having to wait to get what he wanted once he had.

Well, adults can behave this way too.

Often, when a marriage has come to an end, but no formal divorce proceedings have begun, the once couple, now two separate beings have a single-focus of getting out of the marriage and holding on to whatever dear is left whether it's the kids, the house, pets, grandma's china, the big screen TV or a big bank account. And often, both spouses feel angry, sad and powerless in their situations.

That's not a good place to be. It's a confusing time and sometimes the result is a whole lot of...inaction. Perhaps, each person is waiting on the other to make a move; or worried that the other will act faster and more aggressively than the other; or just plain stuck, not knowing where to go next.

Many times once a couple has decided that marriage is no longer an option for them, the concern turns to custody and finances. There are questions about who will pay the mortgage, the insurance, the bills, etc. And if there are children involved the biggest tension point is most often who will the kids live with and who will pay child support and how much, etc.

The easiest and best way to answer all these questions is to get a Temporary Order in place once one party has filed a petition for dissolution of marriage.

A Temporary Order is a court order that establishes temporary custody of children and visitation schedules, amounts of spousal support and/or child support; ensures that valuable assets won't be sold; allows for who will be living in the home, paying the bills, etc. This order can remain in force until it is amended at a subsequent hearing or until the Divorce Decree is filed and takes the place of the Temporary Order.

Once the petition for dissolution is filed and one spouse is moving out, the two spouses can decide these issues on their own and then present it to the court for approval or if the two are unable to come to an agreement about these key issues, the court will decide these matters, at least on a temporary basis.

So, if you find yourself feeling powerless and confused as you face divorce and are concerned about what will happen when your spouse moves out or whether your spouse will drop you from the insurance policy or who will be responsible for making house or car or credit card payments and most importantly how will the children be taken care of, by whom and where, then you should promptly contact an attorney about filing a petition for dissolution and getting a temporary order in place.

The Temporary Order involves filing a few documents, answering some questions, working out a few things with your soon to be ex-spouse or leaving it all up to a judge and agreeing to abide by this court order until further notice. *Exact details vary by jurisdiction. Over and out...

Anna

Political Campaign Contributions: A Waste of Money {Soapbox}

Several weeks ago, I spotted an ad to enter a giveaway for dinner with President Obama. There are to be 3 winners and each winner can bring a guest. The dinner is to be held at an undisclosed location with dinner, airfare and hotel accommodations paid for the winners and their guests.

That sounds like a nice gesture to get in touch with the "real people" in the nation and chat with the President while breaking bread together. For a split second, I even contemplated entering this drawing.

But here's the part that got to me. The estimated value of each winner's package is $4800. So, for all 3 winners and guests, that's almost $15,000; and that doesn't count the cost of the President's travels and secret service duties, etc.

Now, $15,000 probably doesn't seem like much to the President and the committee, Obama for America, who is conducting this contest, but to the average American family, $15,000 is a good chunk of change. And for the average American family who is living under the gun of unemployment or underemployment and the ever rising costs of living, $15,000 is a great sum.

And honestly, what will this contest get the President and his committee? Mostly contact information for thousands of voting citizens; whom they will bombard with phone calls, emails and letters for the next 6 months. For the 6 citizens, who are most likely already going to vote for Obama, it gives them a chance to bend the President's ear for an hour or two and a good story to tell their grandkids about the time they got to have dinner with the President of the United States.

Seriously, what a waste of money. And remember, I'm a democrat and generally vote that way.

Another story that really got me going was the report about Sheldon Adelson and his donations to conservative causes and campaigns. Now, let me preface this by saying that each person can certainly spend his or her money any way he or she pleases. My intent is merely to point out the extravagances of political campaigns and the wasted dollars for what....mostly so the people contributing can ensure they have votes in their pockets concerning issues that will cause them to lose money or make more money down the road {most likely the reason for Adelson's very generous spirit}.

Adelson, a billionaire casino tycoon and conservative, is contributing $10 million to the Super PAC that supports Mitt Romney, the GOP candidate, but even more disconcerting is the report that Adelson will be giving at least $100 million to other conservative causes and campaigns.

To a billionaire like Adelson $100 million probably means absolutely nothing. It certainly won't affect the way he and his family live. But just think what a $100 million could mean to the strapped school districts in our country, youth programs, scholarship funds and other community programs that could mean the difference from lost, uneducated, stamped down, underperforming, dependent on welfare to educated, informed, confident, hard-working, self-sufficient adults of tomorrow.

It's not just Obama for America and Adelson I mean to point my finger at. It's all political campaigns and contributors that I'm targeting.

I have a theory I'd love to try.

I'd love to see what would happen if instead of campaign contributions going for ridiculous, outrageous, stupid, degrading advertising, endless phone calls to citizens, dinners with big contributors, traveling the country with huge entourages and staying in 5 star hotels, eating expensive meals, getting costly haircuts, buying designer clothes and living the high life on the road to supreme success or failure, the candidate put the money towards bettering communities hit hard by the economic hardships brought on by gluttonous executives and hasty, misguided, greedy politicians.

What if the candidate actually put his money where his mouth is and started doing the things he says he will do if elected? What if the candidate gave money to school districts to hire a sufficient number of teachers, helped to equip schools with new equipment and up-to-speed programs and set up scholarships for graduating students? What if the candidate helped poor families who have greatly suffered from losing jobs and insurance coverage by repairing homes or getting necessary medical treatments or eye glasses or buying new shoes for growing kids or filling empty cupboards?

What if underfunded youth programs received sufficient funding and staffing from a candidate's coffers? What if these programs meant fewer drive-by shootings, fewer drug-pushers on the corner, fewer teen-agers having babies, fewer drop-outs all because these kids had somewhere to go, somewhere to feel secure, somewhere to get love and support?

What if a candidate did this? What would happen? Would the candidate win for being sincere and real and seeing what America really needs or would the candidate lose because there had been no glitz or glamour; no elitism; no playing mistress to the big boys of the corporate world?

As of April of this year, the conservative Super PAC, Restore Our Future, had raised $56.5 million. Just think of all the good that could be done with that amount of money. Instead it will be COMPLETELY WASTED.

There is so much waste in politics; so much that I can hardly bare to think about it. This much waste makes me physically sick.

Let's remember that the original obligation of government was to serve the people of the fledgling country through a democracy. How far we have strayed from that dream of our Founding Fathers. Now, our government is ruled by corporations and the almighty dollar; regardless of whether you vote blue or red, your government representatives are not there for you. That is, they aren't there to listen or help you unless you have a very large amount of money to contribute to their campaigns; and by large I mean at least $1,000,000.00.

Cynical? Hell, yes, but is this not an honest picture of today's political campaigns? Over and out....

Anna

A Holy War: When Women’s Health Care Becomes Collateral Damage

Narrow-Minded Fools

There are a few things that make my blood boil; one being the stupidity of narrow-minded buffoons. Many such people also go by the title Senator, Representative, Governor or Presidential Candidate and associate themselves with the Republican Party. In this instance, I am specifically referring to the stupidity of such buffoons who hail from the Great State of Texas; my home state, I'm sorry to say.

This issue should not be politically motivated; it is. This issue certainly should not be religiously motivated; it most certainly is. This issue should be about health and humanity; sadly, it is not.

Perhaps I've missed something, but the last time I checked abortions were still legal. And yet, in Texas and other states run by narrow-minded fools, medical clinics serving women, most of which are not performing abortions, are losing funding by the millions and being forced to close all in the name of "Pro-Life."

Guilty By Association

A great number of these clinics are Planned Parenthood. These clinics screen for breast cancer and cervical cancer, perform pap smears, counsel adolescents about abstinence and provide infertility guidance, prescribe free birth control pills, and other routine care; they do not perform abortions. In Texas, clinics that perform abortions are already barred from collecting government funding.

The decision to take away funding is based purely on the fact that the conservative base is so obsessed with abortions. So, the right wing politicians continue to focus on ways to block women from access to an abortion, even if it means leaving hundreds of thousands of women without medical care for health-related issues that have nothing to do with abortions; and regardless of the fact that abortions are still legal procedures.

In a New York Times article, Wayne Christian, a Republican state representative for District 9 in East Texas, is quoted as saying, "I don't think anybody is against providing health care for women. What we're opposed to are abortions...Planned Parenthood is the main organization that does abortions. So we kind of blend being anti-abortion with being anti-Planned Parenthood."

In essence, what Mr. Christian is saying is that because they are waging a moral war against abortions, clinics closing and thousands of women being left without medical care is just collateral damage that can't be helped.

We aren't talking about a non-profit, pro-life organization taking aim at clinics or organizations that perform abortions; we're talking about elected officials of the Texas State Legislature. But I guess this most recent move shouldn't be surprising.

Since the historic 1973 Texas case of Roe v. Wade made abortion legal, the Texas legislature has passed a number of laws regarding abortions in order to make it as difficult as possible to obtain this legal procedure. But now they are trying to hit clinics that serve low-income residents where it hurts most; their budgets.

Losing Federal Funding

On Friday, the U.S. Health and Human Services Sec. Kathleen Sebelius announced that the Texas law cutting off funding to Planned Parenthood because some of the clinics in that network perform abortions violates federal Medicaid regulations that require women to be allowed to choose where they go for health care. Sec. Sebelius noted that Texas had been warned of the repercussions of passing this law and enforcing it. The law goes into effect this week and the federal funding for the Women's Health Program will now be withheld from Texas based on this law.

At this time, the federal government pays 90% of the cost of this Medicaid-financed program in Texas that aids about 130,000 women. Gov. Perry's office issued a statement saying that the state will somehow cover the amount lost by the federal government to enable women to get care, but was not specific about which clinics or type of care would qualify for such funding.

If the conservative base has it their way, it's going to get worse for these clinics that largely rely on government funding to serve underprivileged women. Republicans across the country are targeting Title X.

Title X is where most of the federal funding for family planning comes from. These funds provide cervical and breast cancer screening, testing for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases, adolescent abstinence counseling, infertility counseling and other services. Title X does not fund abortions and only a small part of it covers birth control costs.

Of the $300 million Title X budget, Planned Parenthood gets about a quarter of it. The remaining three-quarters of it goes to clinics, community health centers, hospitals and state agencies across the country. If Title X is done away with, it will mean more closings of clinics that help women who have few resources for health care.

Abortion Statistics

All of this in the name of eliminating abortions because some perceive it to be a moral wrong that should be policed by the government.

It's worth mentioning that over the years, the number of abortions across the nation have been decreasing for years, including those in Texas. It's also worth noting that according to the Center for Disease Control's reports, the highest percentage of reported abortions were performed on white women under 25.

In Texas, the median age of women getting abortions is 22 with 34.2% of the total number of women between 15-44 having abortions in Texas being white women and 36.3% being Hispanic, according to a report from 2006.

The Scoop

Let me clarify that I am not in favor of abortions; I know no one who is. What I am in favor of is the right for each person to decide for himself or herself what is the best path to take based on the medical options available and one's personal set of beliefs and circumstances.

I also want to be clear that I am a Christian, and I live my life based on Biblical principles and prayer, but I am also open-minded, a free thinker; some might say liberal in my thinking. This means I view the whole picture, not a small, fractured piece of the picture before making a decision.

Where the elected Texas officials have erred is allowing their personal and religious beliefs to interfere with simply aiding people who need help. In the name of Christianity and righteousness, the leaders in Texas are leaving vulnerable women exposed and without medical care.

To those who will not and cannot separate church from state, I leave you with this question to ponder: What Would Jesus Do?

I know the answer to this question. Jesus neither feared nor despised the poor, the wretched, the criminals, the misguided or the despicable; instead Jesus helped and loved all people of all backgrounds and social classes; even politicians.

I apologize if any conservative toes were stepped on, but this is my opinion and my platform for presenting my opinion. Over and out...

Anna

Motherly Advice {If This Was a Movie}

All the world's a stage

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages.

    ~William Shakespeare, As You Like It

Do you ever get the feeling you're a character in a movie and you can see how the plot is going to play out? Do you ever feel that you're the underdog and that the heavenly host is pulling for you even though the devil wrote this particular scene? Do you ever think that real life is mimicking the craziness of a soap opera script? Well, sometimes I do.

But what if this was a movie?

Well, I'll tell you. If this was a movie this would be the moment right before I win the ginormous super duper lottos to end all lottos. This would be the time that the executor of a long lost relative from my dad's dad's mom's mom's side came looking for me, one of the last living relatives, to give me an inheritance of gold.

If this was a movie this would be the scene when a publisher discovers Motherly Law and comes knocking on my door with a book deal and big fat advance. This would be the instant that an anonymous donor paid off all outstanding debt, including the mortgage, and deposited a sizable amount so that I could spend the rest of my days writing and hanging out with my family and having coffee dates with my friends.

Well, it's not a movie, at least as far as I know, but sometimes it's nice to dream for a minute or two. Then, SNAP, back to reality. And, in reality, things could always be much worse; in reality, it doesn't take much to make it a great day or even just a great hour or two {and just forget the cruddy parts for a bit}; and in reality, things just move slower than a movie. My shining movie moment is coming. You just wait and see! Over and out...

Anna