Hanging By a Thread

{Love} Stories

What's your story? We all have stories to tell; happy, sad, surprising, touching, magical, mysterious, funny, ironic stories of our lives.

I shared a question on Facebook last week that elicited quite a response. The question was this: "If you had to marry your partner where you met him or her, where would that be?"

The responses were terrific. Each mini story left me wanting to ask more questions; to know more. Each story is completely unique because it belongs to only those two people. It's Their Story. No one else has the same one of where and when and how.

My husband and I had conflicting stories. I know, how can that be, right? Well, it happened like this:

The first time we had contact, and the response that Will provided to this question, was in the dark of night out by Lake Arrowhead where his fraternity was having a party. I agreed to accompany my friends out to this remote location. Their boyfriends were Will's fraternity brothers and were already out there somewhere in the dark. It was a cold night for Texas.

Will was completely covered in winter gear except for his face. He was also a bit affected by the beverages he had been imbibing during the evening…OK, a lot affected. He danced with me out in the dark, two-stepping to a rock song and continuing to dance after the music ended. He was a freshman. I was a sophomore. He later had no idea who it was he had danced with. He was all but forgotten by me.

Fast forward a few weeks later, here comes my response to the question; our official meeting. My sorority had a mixer with his fraternity. I was dressed as Kermit the Frog. He was dressed as Forest Gump. There was a theme; we didn't just go around dressing in costumes. He asked one of my best friends who it was he had danced with that night in the dark by the lake since she had been there too.

He spoke to me and used my name. I was surprised he had remembered. He didn't mention that he had asked my friend what my name was and which one I was. Instead he said, "Of course I remembered your name."

This time it was me who had a bit too much trash can punch, but I still remembered him the next day, and I knew his name.

I waited for him to call. He didn't. I waited two more days. He didn't call me. So, of course, me being me, I called him and asked him why he hadn't called me yet. He said, "I was going to call you."

It may not have been love at first sight, but for me, it was love at first taquito. That was our first "date"; Whataburger for taquitos; you know, flour tortillas with eggs and cheese and hashbrowns and meat if you wanted. I wasn't eating meat back then or rarely, anyway. It was the one on Southwest Parkway in Wichita Falls.

They serve them only from 11 pm to 11 am. I was on a big taquito kick back then and suggested we go at 11 pm for a taquito and chat. We sat and ate and talked and talked and talked. That was enough for me. He was good-looking and tall and funny (in a goofy way) and took all of my questions well and shared his thoughts and dreams and seemed like a good person. He may have needed more convincing, but big decisions I make quickly and easily. {I didn't tell him I had made this decision, of course. I waited for him to make up his mind…it took a while.}

So, to answer the question. We would have been married at the Sigma Nu house in Wichita Falls…in my version. Not my idea of an ideal wedding location. So, I'm glad we chose the United Methodist Church in Oklahoma City. Why Oklahoma City…well, that's another story.

Now, my story here was a longer response, but I love the single line responses to the question I got on Facebook:

a college math class…Walker Art Center…TGIFridays... a Sadie Hawkins dance in high school…in church…Excel Energy Center…on the ski slopes…junior high…Target...a blind date at Perkins…barracks at Bergstrom AFB…blind date at The Dry Dock, a dry bar/dance place in Blaine…Linden Hills Chatterbox pub…a church summer camp where we worked…virtually…first in person at a bus stop…A& W drive-in…In kindergarten…

Don't these responses make you want to know more?

We meet lots of people, especially while in a college math class or at church or in school or at work or through friends, but what happened next? Why did you fall in love? How did you know you had met "the one"? How long does it take to fall in love? Does love at first sight really happen?

Do you share your story with your kids, your grandkids, your friends? Do you tell it to each other each year? Do you ever think what if I hadn't gone on that blind date or had changed plans or dropped that math class or not met each other at all?

And by the way, I don't think these things can be quantified with any scientific formula or device. I think it's a matter between the hearts and minds and souls. How about you? Over and out…

Anna

 

The Reason My Husband and I Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day

We don't celebrate Valentine's Day; my husband and I. We used to, but it just didn't quite work out.

By the first Valentine's Day of our courtship we had been dating for about a year. We should have known each other pretty well. He was working as a cameraman at one of the TV stations and had a short window of time between the newscasts to come to my house for dinner and then get back before the 10 pm news.

I prepared our dinner, set a romantic table, as romantic as a college kid's tiny apartment with a card table and a mish mash of dishes and candles can be, and waited for him to arrive. We ate our dinner; it was probably spaghetti, but I don't recall, and then we exchanged gifts.

I have no idea what I got him, but he got me a gift set of perfume with a bottle of perfume and similarly scented lotion, etc. He wanted me to open and try it right away. I obliged. And then I hurried him out the door back to work for the 10 pm news.

I am very allergic to perfume, and most scents of any kind. I had never had any perfume on me or in my apartment in that year that we had dated. But I guess he hadn't noticed.

I quickly washed my skin where I had applied the scent, took some Benadryl and stuck the box under my bathroom sink. There that box remained for the next two and half years.

Fortunately, Will forgot about that gift and didn't ask me about it again. I knew I would have to tell him before it was time to buy me a gift again. I finally did tell him and he felt bad about it, but he never forgot to NEVER buy me scented anything.

We continued to try to celebrate Valentine's Day, but it always seemed contrived and awkward and ended up a flop to go out on that date, along with everyone else, to celebrate our love, just because that day was deemed the day of love.

And then, in 1999, just a few months after our marriage, we decided to buck the system. We didn't HAVE TO celebrate our love on Valentine's Day. So, we didn't.

Since having kids we do have little Valentine's Day celebrations at home with red foods and heart-shaped foods and dishes and red and pink on the table, etc. It's fun and easy and not contrived at all.

This is not to say we don't have any romance or sweet notes or ever go out, we do. Not as much since having kids, but we do, it's just on our own schedule, not Hallmark's.

{Please Note: I do realize that Valentine's Day celebrations have nothing to do with Hallmark, but it's just a figure of speech, as it seems that Hallmark often dictates our card-giving holidays.}

And yet, I will admit that I did buy my husband a card this year. I happened to see one that I liked and decided to get it. And if Will saw a nice box of chocolates and wanted to give them to me that would be accepted {with open arms}…not that he has to, but I'm just remarking.

And on this Valentine's Day, we will have red and pink food and make heart-shaped dishes and drink pretty, sparkly Shirley Temples (the only time of year my kids get soda) as we sit around our table for a quick meal before we dash off to the kids' ski lessons on Friday night.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day, however you choose to spend it. Over and out…

Anna

 

A Soul’s Mate

Note: I rarely write about my husband or my marriage. I simply don't feel that I have license to expose those private parts of my life or someone else's life to the public. I try to tell only my stories. My posts are not a tell-all tabloid exclusive. And yet, sometimes I have something to share about my other half.

I listen to Pandora radio while I work. Sometimes I hear the songs and sometimes they're just background noise concealing the world around me. Last week, a particular song got through. I didn't know the song and the words struck my heart. So, I listened. It made me realize something about my husband.

After being in a marriage for a while, there are times you wonder why you were attracted to the person; what makes your relationship work; why are you still together when others haven't made it that far?

Sometimes there are no answers; sometimes the answers are hard to articulate; sometimes the answers come easily.

The whole answer is always complicated; there are stories and memories and unspoken bonds visible to the two of you alone. No one else can know the inside your relationship.

I will admit there have been times I have questioned my choice and my decision in marrying this man I have shared a name, a bed, dreams, parenthood and so much more with for the past 15 years.

I don't know exactly why he loves me and sticks with me, but I think I've figured out why he's my soul mate.

He knows how to reach me when I get that far away look from pondering the darkness too long. He can pull me back to reality, pacifying me even when my mind says all is lost.

He knows when to let me go sailing along on my own initiatives and agendas and he does this quite a bit. But when he sees that flash in my eyes and knows that I've lost all rational to pure, raw emotion, he knows to reach out and grab me, pulling me away from the edge of the cliff, gently pointing me back to the path of sensibility.

He knows me; when I am quiet; when I am loud; when I am argumentative; when I am contemplative; when I am dark; when I am burning bright; when I am on a high horse; when I am sorrowful; when I am hatching an idea; when I am giving up on an idea.

He gives me space to continually redefine myself, re-arrange the furniture, shoot from the hip and write from the heart.

He allows me to be me, which is not an easy task. I am flighty, honest to a fault, moody, opinionated, bossy, stubborn, terribly sarcastic, always dreaming up plans and ideas and perpetually late. I have rarely felt completely understood. I have rarely opened all the windows to my soul. I have always had high expectations of me and those around me.

He knows my weaknesses and picks up the slack in those areas; saving me over and over again.

Now if that's not love what is?

And while I did not fully understand all these things 15 years ago when I married him after knowing him for 4 years, somehow my soul knew its mate.

It has not been easy. There have been rocky times filled with fiery arguments and hurt feelings and bruised souls. There have been times of quiet contemplation and self-imposed isolation. And there have been times of fun and adventure and laughter. Fortunately, those good times have outnumbered the hard times.

But a marriage is a partnership and partners don't always agree with each other; they aren't always on the same page; sometimes they have different plans and ideas for their future endeavors; but they do work together; they stick it out together; and grow together forming stronger and stronger bonds; bonds that cannot be broken; bonds that do not hold one back. These are the bonds of a soul mate. Over and out…

Anna

Photo Op ...a little bit late... {Love is the Law}

My husband and I actually had a date night the other night! That may not be a big deal to some of you, but for us it's been a very RARE occasion for the past 3 years. But now, thanks to my parents living in the twin cities, we got a date night AND FREE childcare. Wow!

We started at Café Maude in Loring Park for drinks and apps and then meandered over the bridge to the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden and then headed over to Uptown for Dinner. It was a long evening spent moving slowly and not checking the time and never once adding up the babysitter's bill.

Upon leaving Café Maude and making our way to the sculpture garden, we walked through the bricked and flowered alleyway. There was a photo shoot of a mom and her toddler going on, a woman reading a book on the back porch of her art gallery, fellow diners making their ways to Lurcat and Café Maude or heading for a stroll in the park. The sun was starting to set and it was a beautiful evening.

Something caught my attention as we walked along. It was this poster taped to a door in this lovely alley. I love it. The sign says it all and says it well. And we celebrate with this couple! Over and out...

Anna

Happy Father’s Day {To Our Guy!}

Happy Father's Day to my:

Yard guy;

Bug exterminator;

Grillmaster;

Bedtime Story Teller;

Housemaid;

Nursemaid;

Bread winner;

Don Juan;

Sports Expert;

IT Department;

Early riser;

School bus driver;

Late night errand runner;

Repair man;

Reacher of high things;

Carrier of heavy things;

Confidant;

Dinner Date;

Best friend;

Husband;

Daddy to my kids;

My Right Hand Man!

I won't even think about what my life and the life of my boys would be like without this MAN!

Thanks for all you do for us every day! We love you! Over and out...

Anna

 

 

 

 

Love Wins {Marriage Equality in MN}

And then there were 12

I had just parked at the library. The boys had unbuckled and were bouncing around the van, ready to go pick out some books. I decided to check Facebook one more time to see if the MN Senate had voted yet.

The first five or so posts that met me as I scrolled through my stream immediately told me that Minnesota had indeed passed the Marriage Equality Bill (which Gov. Dayton will sign today), allowing for gay marriage in our state.

I happily announced it to the boys. I explained once again what that meant for the people of our state. And tears flowed from my eyes.

The boys said, "Why are you crying? You're already married." They asked me, "Why are you sad?"

I explained that they were tears of joy. And yes, while their dad and I are already married, this law will mean that many loving, devoted couples can now be married, as we are, if they so choose.

I couldn't help but think of our friends and family who are affected by laws that discriminate against them and their loved ones. I couldn't help but think of all of those who feel liberated and empowered by this new law. I couldn't help but think of the future generations and what this law will mean to them.

Marital Status

This law has nothing to do with sexual relations. This law is about the basic rights of a married couple both in life and in death. This law is about giving adults of sound mind, regardless of sexual orientation, the right to marry whom they choose. This law is about giving couples basic rights regarding insurance coverage, hospital visits and medical information, testamentary rights, tax status and deductions, and more. This is a legal distinction; this is a human rights distinction.

People can live together, sleep together and spend their lives together without a marriage certificate, so long as they choose to and are of legal age. That wouldn't change whether this law had passed or not.

In addition to the legal rights afforded by this law, what changes is the legitimacy of these relationships from the perspective of others. The level of commitment won't change for the couple who has devoted the last 20 years to each other, regardless of legal marital status, but it will change the way the world views them. They will be married; they will be connected in the eyes of the state; they will be one unit for all to know and recognize.

Marital Injustices

It wasn't that long ago that the issue being discussed and legislated was marriage between a white person and a person of color.

In Loving v. Virginia, the 1967 U.S. Supreme Court case that made inter-racial marriage possible in every state, Justice Earl Warren wrote, "Marriage is one of the 'basic civil rights of man,' fundamental to our very existence and survival.... To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discrimination. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State."

Yes, Justice Warren was specifically discussing racial discrimination, but in so many ways, we're talking about the same thing. Opponents of Marriage equality among gay couples fear that it will ruin the institution of marriage; that it will hurt our kids and damage our country's morals. Opponents of inter-racial marriages made of a lot of those same arguments.

The Scoop

I'll tell you what hurts our kids and damages our country... It's hate and fear and closed hearts and minds. It's the idea that one group knows what's best for another group. It's failing to love each other regardless of our differences and our similarities and in spite of them.

And so it was with tears of joy and gratitude and pride that my Christian, hetero-sexual, happily-married-to-a-man, heart swelled with rainbow-colored pride when I heard the news that MN had just become the 12^th state in the U.S. giving all adult couples the option of marriage! Thank you, MN Legislators!

I will respect your opinion, even if I don't agree. Will you respect mine? Over and out...

Anna

Love: This Little Light of Mine, I’m Gonna Let it Shine

LOVE

True LOVE

Real LOVE

Deep as an Ocean

All encompassing

Love does not conform; Love won't be stopped by laws

LOVE does not Discriminate; LOVE understands; LOVE Forgives

LOVE Survives

Love Heals

Love Saves

God is

LOVE

As we near this year's very heated, passionate election day, please take a moment to remember to Love your neighbors, your friends, your family regardless of what they believe or advocate for or who they vote for or whose signs are firmly planted in their yards.

Love is the most important thing we have. Live by example; let your love be a roaring fire that shines out for the world to see; don't hide it under a bushel. Love is not shameful. Over and out...

Anna

Collage: Creating Something New from Something Broken {A Lesson in Persistence and Love}

England Summer of 1996

Back in 1996, I spent a magical, amazing summer in London. I toured a number of cathedrals and castles and towers in London and the surrounding countryside while there. All were impressive and beautiful; some left more of an impression than others. One story that has stayed with me all these years came from the tour of Winchester Cathedral; one of the oldest and longest cathedrals in England.

In 1642, Cromwell's troops smashed the huge stained glass windows in this cathedral. The women of Winchester gathered all the pieces of the shattered glass and tried to put the pictures back together, but they couldn't. So, instead they simply used all the pieces to make a collage of sorts.

The pieces are there, but they're just in a different order; creating a completely new work of art. It was one of the most beautiful stained glass windows I've ever seen.

This story really touched me; the care and love that went into that window must have been great.

Texas Summer of 2011

In the summer of 2011, I wrote about the end of the marriage between my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and my anger and grief over losing my sister-in-law in the process. It was a gut-wrenching, broken-hearted, confusing time for our family.

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law kept saying they were praying for a miracle.

Half of me thought with a smirk what kind of miracle? The divorce petition had been filed and served; my brother-in-law had moved out; hearts had been torn in two. The other half of me thought why can't this story end like a country love song {my favorite kind of country song} and they vow to love each other and make it work.

But mostly, I thought it was over and we would all learn the new rules of family gatherings, holidays and loss from divorce.

Texas Summer of 2012

Well, I was wrong. They got their miracle. A year after thinking it was over for good a crazy, miraculous thing happened. They fell in love; a love like they had never had. This love is deep and wide and puts goofy smiles on their faces.

Persistence and New Designs

Sometimes something can be so broken; so crushed down and ripped into little pieces that it becomes unrecognizable. Often those pieces are swept up and thrown into the garbage. But sometimes those pieces are carefully gathered and preserved until they can be put back together again. And like the Winchester Cathedral, you can't always get those pieces to look like it did before. No, instead, it becomes something completely new and more beautiful than before.

And that's what happened here. There was a marriage before, but it never looked like this. Now, it's a beautiful work of art that was hand-wrought from hard lessons learned, a new common aim and a deep and abiding love for each other and their family that was ignored and forgotten in the past, but came shining through when the shards were pieced together in this new design.

The Scoop

So, when something is broken and appears to be beyond repair, remember the Winchester Cathedral stained glass window that was pieced into an amazing new design in 1660; 18 years after it was shattered during a civil war. All it takes is a fresh perspective and an enduring persistence; and maybe a country love song or two.

I can't deny that this pleases me beyond words, brings a tear to my eye and puts a goofy smile on my face. Miracles happen every day.

Ironically, it was the summer of 1996 that this marriage began; just 1 month before I traveled to England and toured the Winchester Cathedral. Over and out....

Anna

My Life...So Far {38 Lessons}

Life is a constant lesson. Just when you think you've got a hold on it and you've learned everything the world can teach you, a new saga begins. But without these adventures, trials, heartbreaks and triumphs life would be dull and lifeless; at least that's what I keep telling myself.

I have lived almost 38 years on this earth, and I've been thinking about the lessons I've learned over the years. And here they are; 39 of them:

1. Stepping out of your comfort zone is always worth it;
2. Quietly taking in your surroundings and evaluating the situation can be very helpful in future dealings;
3. Always take each opportunity that comes your way; it may not present itself ever again;
4. Surround yourself with pets; you will always feel loved and understood, even when the world doesn't get you;
5. Be true to yourself; this can be hard when your heart falls hard and leads the way {in the wrong direction};
6. Fall in love, even if it might mean getting hurt; it's worth it;
7. Stand up for what you believe is right;
8. Never compromise when it means giving up on a dream;
9. Even if dreams have to be shelved for a while, don't let them stay on the shelf so long that they become unrecognizable;
10. Never give up...not ever; not even on the darkest nights; the morning will come;
11. When one road is closed, start searching for alternate routes....there's always at least one;
12. Be your own cheerleader;
13. You can always come home...or call home; my parents are my rock, my life support, my ultimate fans;
14. My relationship with my brother is one of the most important ones in my life;
15. My sorority sisters are my sisters and true friends; I love them and when I'm with them we are still 20 and the years and miles between us are erased;
16. My husband does more for me, our family and our home than most husbands do, and I should show more appreciation than I do;
17. Brand new love is the most exciting, but old love is the most reassuring;
18. Love at first sight...or first dance...or first conversation happens;
19. Say what you mean and mean what you say;
20. Sometimes it's best to bite your tongue and leave a few things unsaid {a tough lesson for me};
21. Life can be disappointing, but whether it continues to be disappointing is up to you;
22. Loss hurts...acknowledge it....feel it...grieve and then get back to living life;
23. Take a chance...again....and again...and again;
24. Move...live in different cities... states...countries, if you can;
25. Being a mom has filled my life, but being a mom is not my whole life;
26. Be present; soak up the here and now because the days, months and years fly by;
27. Kids complicate things, bring out the best and worst, but the joy they add and lessons they teach are worth it;
28. Waiting to have kids was one of the best things we did for our marriage;
29. Never miss the chance to tell your child you love him;
30. Advocate for your children; you know them better than anyone else;
31. Always say you're sorry when you've made a mistake or said something that was hurtful;
32. Swallow your pride; you won't choke on it, but you'll end up playing the part of the pompous fool if you don't;
33. Dance anytime you have a chance....who cares what you look like {this took me a long time to realize};
34. Pray without ceasing;
35. Believe in miracles;
36. Speak from your heart; everyone has something important to say; don't be afraid to tell your story;
37. Sleep when you can;
38. Read only books you love; books that speak to you; otherwise, you're wasting your time; and one to grow on....
39. You don't have to live every minute of every day because that's exhausting, but do your best to live while you can.

I think I pretty much covered the big ones, but there are more, of course. And I the older I get the more transparent the life lessons become. What has life taught you? Over and out...

Anna

Motherly Advice {The Dot to Dot of Life}

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

    ~Robert Frost, the last stanza from The Road not Taken

I'm not sure how I feel about the idea of destiny. I think that we are the architects of our lives, based on the decisions we make, the passions we pursue and the roads we travel. And yet, there's an element of fate to life too.

An old flame recently stumbled across Motherly Law, and sent me a message after realizing a post he'd read was written by me. It has been years since we've had any conversation. It took me back to college and the road I took to get where I am today.

I realized that if it hadn't been for my former boyfriend, I doubt I would have met my husband. In high school, I made the decision to follow him to the university he had chosen the year before. I applied only there. I had no desire to go anywhere else.

Fortunately, it was a good school. It was in the city where my husband grew up. It was his choice for college too.

Eventually, the relationship that had brought me there ended and I met my husband, but if it hadn't been for a couple of friends urging me to go out with them one evening, I may not have ever spoken to this cute, skinny freshmen {I was an older, more mature sophomore at the time}.

And if it had not been for my gutsy resolve to call that cute, young {but spineless when it came to calling me} freshman, we may not have ever spoken again.

And if it had not been for all of these things, there are two little boys who would have never existed.

Life is full of "if it hadn't been for this, then this would or would not have happened" kinds of circumstances. So, are we predestined to be or go or do certain things? Can you escape your destiny by making different choices?

This reminds me of a conversation my brother and I once had. These kinds of questions lead to more questions and each answer leads you to the original question; it's like spinning in circles on ice. These are questions I can't answer.

But I can connect the dots. And these dots will eventually form the picture of my life. Over and out...

Nota Bene: It's worth reading The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost in its entirety. It seems like such a simple poem; it's one we know the lines to, but there are many layers there; definitely food for thought. This is one of my favorite poems; one I like to contemplate as I pass milestones and make choices as life trudges on.

Anna

On Fried Chicken and Casting Stones

Framing the Issue

This has NOTHING to do with fried chicken.

I have been mulling this over in my mind for a long time trying to find the right words to address this topic.

When we go to the polls in November, the voters in my state will be asked to make a number of important decisions. One of those questions regards an amendment to our state constitution concerning the definition of marriage within MN.

This topic has gripped our nation in recent months based on various ballot questions, the presidential election and the prospect of court rulings from the highest courts in the country in the coming year or two.

What am I talking about? Well, if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm referring to same-sex marriage. For the record, I am a heterosexual female and I'm married to a heterosexual male, but this debate coursing through our country has me steaming. So, why do I care?

For me, there are multiple layers to this issue.

Fueled by Fear

I don't generally argue about religious issues here on Motherly Law, but for me this discussion has absolutely nothing to do with religion. For me, this is a legal issue, just like other laws that regulate who can and cannot marry, when, where and why.

However, for some people this is a religious issue. What I can't figure out is where in the world these people got the idea that God would want them to use His name in this hateful, fear-based argument against other human beings.

What is clear to me is that this is exactly that: a hateful rant born out of fear and misunderstanding.

I ask you, do you know any same-sex couples? Well, I do, and you know what? They are exactly like "opposite-sex" couples. That's right. They casually chat with each other over a quiet dinner; they argue over whose turn it is to do the dishes or take out the trash or get up with the crying baby; they share inside jokes; they take their kids to the park; they buy groceries; they go to church on Sunday; they live their lives just like any other family in the neighborhood.

Fear of "these people" corrupting our kids and our "family values" is misplaced.

And for the record, I have known a number of "opposite-sex" couples who should have never been allowed to get married; who made a mess of their marriage; who destroyed their families; who certainly stained our idea of "family values"; some of these people are church-going, God-fearing people...for the record.

Historical Instances of Suppressing Rights

From a historical and legal review, I would ask you to think about all the laws that have sought to restrict the rights of other groups of people and have eventually been rectified and those laws amended or overturned in court. Two groups that certainly come to my mind are women and black people.

For far too many years a woman's rights to vote, to hold certain positions, get paid an equal amount for the same work, own property and make decisions concerning her own body were held in check by laws; laws made by white men. And for the record, women's suffrage was considered a religious issue in that fight too; it would ruin "family values" and all...for the record.

Our country felt so strongly about whether white men had the right to control, nay...own other human beings and treat them as property, as the laws referred to slaves, simply because their skin was darker than the men who made the laws, that our divided nation went to war to resolve this issue.

It may have taken hundreds of years, but we have finally reconciled these wrongs. We have finally recognized the rights of all human beings...oh wait. That's right. We are now fighting hard not to allow two adults who love each other the right to get married and raise a family as a married couple with all the rights a married couple has.

From a different legal perspective, many of the laws we have on our books are there to protect people from physical or mental harm, protect their property and be sure that basic human rights are not quashed. Laws are not intended to harm a particular group of people who believe something different than the majority or single out people of a certain creed simple because some of the people in the country don't understand or agree with their beliefs or lifestyle choices.

A legal union between two consenting adults of full mental capacity, regardless of gender, national origin, religion, etc. is a basic right that harms no one, at least in my book. How would you feel if your right to marry your spouse was suddenly in question?

The Scoop

You know, as I ponder this hateful rhetoric, I think that perhaps the real fear is that same-sex couples do act like "traditional" couples. I think the real fear is that "they" raise families like the rest of "us"; "they" are just like "us" when it comes to spousal duties, in-laws, career aspirations, planning the summer vacation, etc. And if "they" are like "us" then what? I think this elicits fear of the unknown for some people.

I would liken this fear to the uncomfortable, uneasy feelings that predominated white families as minority families began moving into "their" neighborhoods years ago. While most neighborhoods and communities are quite multi-cultural now and that fear has greatly subsided, the original prejudice was based on ignorance and misunderstanding of each other's cultures and values.

If we could all be loving, peaceful and kind to one another, as the Bible teaches us, then we would get along, learn from each other and live happily ever after. While that is clearly not possible, at least not yet, I suggest that we all follow the advice of Jesus found in John 8:7 when Jesus said,

If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone...

This was in reference to a woman who had been caught committing adultery; a crime punishable by stoning. And in case you don't know the rest of the story, not one of the men present cast a stone at her or condemned her, especially not Jesus.

The point is, we have all sinned in various ways, and it's not for us to judge each other's actions and decisions and determine what's a sin and what's not and how each sin ranks on a scale 1-10.

This has NOTHING to do with fried chicken. We're talking about people, just like you and me.

And for the record, this is my opinon; a view I have a right to express thanks to our Constitution. What's your opinion? Over and out...

Anna

For more about this topic from me, please read: There's a Storm a Brewin' in Minnesota: NOH8MN

Motherly Advice {The Perfect Life}

This is what I thought my life would look like. Seriously. It may sound naïve and silly and immature, but this house is an actual house in the town where Will and I went to college; where we met and fell in love; where we spun sugary strands of silken dreams of how our lives would go and what we do and where we would live, and the kids we would have and the trips we would take.

And this is what I thought it would look like....perfect, cozy, neat and precise; a comfortable life with lots of sure things and laughter and dinner parties and fun and very little not-sure-what-our-next-move-is-in-this-game-of-Life; Real Life, that is.

But...as you all know, there are no sure things in life.

No, our life has been bumpy and gravelly with good times, bad times and in-between times, but a home like that has never been in sight; not yet, at least.

I was reminded by my silly, inexperienced projection of "our beautiful life together" when I was in that town visiting my in-laws recently. I absent-mindedly passed by that house and it caught my attention. Suddenly, those ideas came flooding back to me.

It would have been a beautiful life; the life I had imagined for us. Yes, indeed.

There are days I think, "Ah, this is the life I wouldn't change a thing about this moment" and then there are other times that I yearn for a more picturesque life of more of this and less of that, if even for just a short while.

I'm not complaining though; only reviewing, reminiscing and re-thinking.

We each take different roads; each leading to different places; some are long and winding and lovely, but really only take you in one big loop, never truly getting anyway; some are short and sweet, but the scenery never changes; and others are hilly, then flat, then curving, up and down, high above the coastline, then through the mountains, with a short stretch of desert, then through lush valleys, across great blue lakes, always continuing, always an adventure, with new lessons to be learned at every turn and dead end.

The latter is the road we have taken. Where it ultimately leads, we won't know til the bitter {or sweet} end. So, we may never call a "perfect" storybook house like this one home, but we will have truly played the game of Life and taken chances along the way. Over and out...

Anna

Less Than Perfect Behavior: Temporary Orders

While we were visiting Texas, we celebrated Darling 1's birthday. My sister-in-law had gotten a gift for Darling 2, as well, since his birthday is in a few months and it would be easier on her to give it to him now in-person and easier on him to receive it now while his brother was getting lots of gifts; it's hard to understand these kinds of things when you're still a little guy.

Well, Darling 2 knew about this gift, and he wanted to open it right away because he's 3 and impatient with a single-focus when there are presents to be had.

Darling 2 didn't care about the schedule of the evening or the reasoning behind waiting. All he knew is that he wanted that gift. Darling 2 felt angry and distraught and powerless in his situation; and he couldn't think of anything else.

As the evening advanced, he became more and more difficult and more and more upset knowing there was something he wanted in that bag, but wasn't able to have it until someone in charge gave the OK.

Eventually, he got to open that present and was ecstatic to find a Transformer. He quickly forgot the agony he had been in having to wait to get what he wanted once he had.

Well, adults can behave this way too.

Often, when a marriage has come to an end, but no formal divorce proceedings have begun, the once couple, now two separate beings have a single-focus of getting out of the marriage and holding on to whatever dear is left whether it's the kids, the house, pets, grandma's china, the big screen TV or a big bank account. And often, both spouses feel angry, sad and powerless in their situations.

That's not a good place to be. It's a confusing time and sometimes the result is a whole lot of...inaction. Perhaps, each person is waiting on the other to make a move; or worried that the other will act faster and more aggressively than the other; or just plain stuck, not knowing where to go next.

Many times once a couple has decided that marriage is no longer an option for them, the concern turns to custody and finances. There are questions about who will pay the mortgage, the insurance, the bills, etc. And if there are children involved the biggest tension point is most often who will the kids live with and who will pay child support and how much, etc.

The easiest and best way to answer all these questions is to get a Temporary Order in place once one party has filed a petition for dissolution of marriage.

A Temporary Order is a court order that establishes temporary custody of children and visitation schedules, amounts of spousal support and/or child support; ensures that valuable assets won't be sold; allows for who will be living in the home, paying the bills, etc. This order can remain in force until it is amended at a subsequent hearing or until the Divorce Decree is filed and takes the place of the Temporary Order.

Once the petition for dissolution is filed and one spouse is moving out, the two spouses can decide these issues on their own and then present it to the court for approval or if the two are unable to come to an agreement about these key issues, the court will decide these matters, at least on a temporary basis.

So, if you find yourself feeling powerless and confused as you face divorce and are concerned about what will happen when your spouse moves out or whether your spouse will drop you from the insurance policy or who will be responsible for making house or car or credit card payments and most importantly how will the children be taken care of, by whom and where, then you should promptly contact an attorney about filing a petition for dissolution and getting a temporary order in place.

The Temporary Order involves filing a few documents, answering some questions, working out a few things with your soon to be ex-spouse or leaving it all up to a judge and agreeing to abide by this court order until further notice. *Exact details vary by jurisdiction. Over and out...

Anna

Standing Still While Time Passes in a Blur: Laws of Time & People

On my recent trip to Texas I have come up with a few "laws" concerning the passage of time and its effect on people. As I've mentioned in the past, Texas is my homeland; where my people reside. I was fortunate enough to have the chance to visit with family, both young and old, by blood and by marriage, as well as see friends from college; even more importantly, my sorority sisters.

I have known these people at most for my entire life and least for several decades. I am not a stranger to them and they are certainly not unfamiliar to me. These are people I have shared my life with, the good times and bad times. There have been many laughs and just as many tears. These are some of the most important people in my life.

As time marches on, much seems to stand still. We all move along the continuum of time entering new phases of life as we leave other stages behind, and yet some things just never change. Here are the observations I've made on the "Laws of People and Time":

1. People don't really change; time softens the hard edges or chisels deep, sharp chasms into the soul; and sometimes life does both at various times;
2. Even though time, life {and kids} have long since ravaged our young, svelte, wrinkle free bodies, we still look the same to each other;
3. Those close knit friendships forged during those formative college years are friends for life;
4. No matter how old you are, you are always your mom's child;
5. Old wounds can be as raw as when the dagger first struck if flooded with old memories;
6. Family ties don't have to be broken by divorce;
7. We are products of our roots, surroundings and experiences;
8. Our love for such friends and family is not diminished by time, distance or circumstances, but remains for a lifetime.

We can't stop time from ticking away second by second, minute by minute, day by day, or year by year, but that's alright because there are some things that time can't take away or ever change. These things simply define who we are, strive to be or have overcome.

Clearly, I'm still feeling nostalgic after my trip to Texas. Over and out...

Anna

Celebrity Watch: Our Emotional Connections {Inspired by Klum v. Seal}

Hollywood Divorce

So, Heidi Klum filed for divorce from Seal this week. Why is this headline news? This is certainly neither the first, nor the last celebrity divorce in the news. We watch them all with interest. Why are we concerned with the affairs of people we don't know; people we have never even met and more than likely will never meet?

The breakup of a marriage and a family is always sad, regardless of who the people are or the reasons why. People are people no matter their profession or social status, and all people feel anger, loss and sadness. But what makes the general public feel such an intense interest in a celebrity's life; whether it's a marriage, a divorce, a birth, a death or other event?

Feeling a Kinship

Clearly, much of the general public does feel this way. There are numerous blogs, publications, televisions shows and books devoted to this very topic. It's a multi-million dollar industry. We love to see what a celebrity is up to; how they live their lives. This seems to be particularly true about certain celebrity couples; couples deemed to be "normal" or "down-to-earth"; couples who stay married more than 5 years; couples who seem private and quiet; couples who seem to be happy and in love.

From all the media coverage sharing the romantic tidbits, the private moments, the glamorous getaways, the special gifts displayed for all to see we think we know them; we connect with them. I think that for many this exposure gives them a feeling of kinship with the celebrity couple; as in "if they can do it, so can we" or "we're rooting for you" sort of way.

Great Expectations

Or perhaps we are projecting our own relationships onto the celebrity couples and relying on them to pull through and make it and live happily ever after just like in the movies. Often that is not the case, especially for those matches made in Hollywood.

We know this. It's always been the case. There aren't many of these marriages that last a lifetime. Celebrities don't usually mate for life; instead many of them change spouses as often as they change movie roles.

Too harsh? Perhaps. But stop and think about the celebrities that we put on pedestals; those whom we feel disappointed in or let down by when we hear that he or she cheated or that he or she was abusive, etc. ; why do we put faith in these people? Why do we expect more from them? Why do we need them to stay married, be good husbands and wives and ride off in the sunset together?

Hollywood Splits Good for Our Marriages?

These celebrity marriages {& dissolutions} have nothing to do with our lives; with our marriages. And yet, we continue to buy People magazine; we continue to tune into to the celebrity gossip sites; and we continue to discuss their engagements, weddings, parenting choices and breakups with our friends and have an opinion about it all.

As it turns out, psychoanalysts say we do identify with various celebrities or perhaps see a particular celebrity couple as having things in common with our own marriages, and we have an emotional connection to them because of these similarities. So, when something like a divorce occurs, we do feel a little like it's happening to us. We feel the sadness and heartbreak as we imagine they are feeling too.

However, experts say this can also encourage us to look at our own marriages and learn positive lessons from the demise of our favorite celebrity couple. These breakups may prompt us to ask questions like, "could this happen to us?" In fact, the report of a celebrity couple filing for divorce could be a good way to bring up issues in your own relationship that are of concern to you or areas that need improvement, etc.

The Scoop

So, if you're feeling a trace of sadness over the announcement that Heidi Klum has filed for divorce after 7 years of marriage to Seal, you're only human and it could actually be good for your marriage. Over and out...

Anna

New Beginnings: State Laws Taking Effect January 1, 2012

Happy New Year

January 1^st....the start of a new year, a day a big sales at retail giants, the first day of a new diet for many and the day a number of new state laws take effect. January is definitely the month of new beginnings and that rings true for many laws too.

While I haven't surveyed every state, I did take a look at some of the new state laws from around the country. I have highlighted the new laws {or absence of pertinent new laws} that have just taken effect that concern parents, kids and/or families.

While you may think this is unimportant information, take a look; there may be a few that concern you and your family. With almost 40,000 new laws going into effect on January 1, 2012, there must be something that affects you or someone you know.

A Few New State Laws

Minnesota

No news laws that pertain to families. {Let it be noted that it was quite an argumentative year in MN.}

Texas

College students attending school in Texas to get a meningitis vaccine. This law is applicable to all state universities, community colleges and junior colleges. TX is the first state mandate this. The students must have had this vaccine within the last 5 years.

Texas homeowners will be protected from aggressive homeowner associations that try to foreclose on homes based on late dues, fees and fines.

New York

Hookahs, water pipes, and shisha (a product made of primarily tobacco and smoked) shall not be sold to minors.

A new law will strengthen DEC's authority to ban products that contain mercury.

Middle class tax cuts will reduce tax rates on middle to their lowest levels in more than 50 years About 4.4 million middle class taxpayers will receive a total of  $690 million in personal income tax relief.

California

Open carrying of guns is banned;

Children under 8 and those who are too small to wear regular seat belts must use a child safety seat or booster seat.

Florida

The federal government will no longer have a hand in control the Florida school meal programs This will allow the state of Florida to use more Florida-grown fresh fruit and vegetables on school menus.

Illinois

Hotels are now required to be equipped with at least one smoke detector within 15 feet of every room that is used for sleeping purposes. (HB 1398/ PA-97-0447)

Allows local school boards to, if federal grants are available, opt in to a full-year pilot plan if a school is on academic watch status for more than 2 years. Schools that opt in must increase their school calendar by 35 days, and requires students attend a minimum of 215 days. This pilot program affects only schools in Sen. James Meeks' district.

Requires criminal background information on an employee that has been obtained by a school district within the last year to be shared, upon request, with any other school district.

Changes legislation to reflect the current criminal penalty for making a false report of child abuse to DCFS, and updates the required posted warning to reflect that a false report is a Class 4 felony violation.

Allows people in divorce situations to use life insurance as a security for child support and maintenance obligations.

Requires all employees of licensed child care facilities who care for newborns and infants to complete training every 3 years on sudden unexpected infant death (SUID), sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and on the safe sleep recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Requires adult passengers in the back seat of a vehicle to wear a seat belt, and also requires those 18 and younger riding in a taxi cab for school-related purposes to wear a seat belt.

Colorado

Coaches must not allow players as young as 11 to continue playing a sport if a head injury is suspected. In order to return to play, the athletics will be required to have medical clearance. Furthermore, coaches in public and private schools and even volunteer coaches of Little League and Pop Warner football are required to take a free annual online training to learn the symptoms to recognize a concussion.

Delaware

Same-sex couples can now enter into a civil union or domestic partnerships, which give them the same state rights and obligations of those who are married.

The Scoop

Does your state have any new laws worth checking out? I'll be touching base regarding distracted driving issues in this New Year on Wednesday and Thursday of this week. Over and out...

Anna

Phantom Anniversary Post by Dear Husband

It wasn't the most romantic of beginnings. Not even close really. When people ask how we met the answer always has two parts. I think Anna likes to consider the second part as our true meeting. But if it weren't for the first part the second would probably have never happened.

I remember it as a chilly night in late January. My fraternity was having a party at one of our regular haunts on the shores of Lake Arrowhead. To be honest with you that is about all I remember very clearly. After that night one of the few things I did remember was that I had danced with a girl. Apparently not only did I dance with her but I forced her to dance with me even though the music had stopped. Unfortunately, I had no clue who this mystery woman was.

So, I started asking around and figured out she was a friend of a friend. Fast forward a week to a fraternity-sorority mixer with Anna's sorority. Being the smooth guy I was (not really) I approached Anna at some point during the night (after she had had several cups of trash can punch I might add) and smoothly acted as if I remembered her. She was suspicious (of course) and did what she does best: ask questions.

A few minutes later she comes back after busting my story wide open. I still can't believe Julie told her I had asked who she was. Then again I think that is where things started to get rolling. We spent the rest of the night talking, had a late night snack at IHOP (where she repeatedly got in trouble for being too loud) and I drove her and a friend home.

During the next week she waited and waited for me to call which I never did. Well, she gave up on waiting and called me instead (I know. I'm lame). The previous weekend she had bet me a $1 that I wouldn't show up at IHOP. Since I did she wanted to pay me back by taking me to Whataburger for a $.99 Taquito.

I never turn down free food and she had just done what I was too much of a wimp to do so I accepted. We had our first date at a beautiful Whataburger in Wichita Falls, TX. The location might not seem great, but the conversation was fantastic. We sat there for what I remember to be hours learning about each other.

And that is truly how it all started. The above will be 17 years ago at the end of January and beginning of February. Today we celebrate 13 years of marriage. Happy Anniversary Anna! Thank you for being my partner in life and loving me through it all. I will love you always.

From This Moment On: Celebrating a Memorable Date

Christmas Shoes

Since the time that my grandma took me shopping for new shoes on Christmas Eve I wanted a Christmas wedding. I must have been about 9 years old that year. Our family showed up for Christmas at my grandparents' house in Dallas, Texas, and I was wearing sandals. My grandma deemed them summer shoes and we went to the department store in search of tennis shoes. I'm sure I had tennis shoes at home, but probably had opted to wear the sandals in that mild Texas weather.

I don't quite remember those details, but what I do remember is this. As we walked through the department store decked out in its holiday best in search of children's shoes, I saw a mannequin wearing a wedding dress. It wasn't just any wedding dress; this dress was trimmed in white fur and sparkled with sequins. This dress was a Christmas wedding dress. At that very moment at age 9, I decided I would have a Christmas wedding. I could think of nothing more beautiful.

A Christmas Wedding

Fast forward about 15 years...I have the guy and the ring and we're planning our wedding. I was still set on that Christmas wedding. Well, it just so happened that the year we would be married the only Saturday between law school finals and New Year's Eve fell on the day after Christmas. While I'll admit it wasn't completely ideal for those traveling, we forged ahead.

In fact, basically everyone had to travel except me. Since I was in law school during the planning process we chose a location most convenient for me; Oklahoma City. There were naysayers, but we stood firm on our chosen date and made it work; only those closest to us came and the whole weekend was a magnificent celebration.

The Years in Retrospect

That was 13 years ago today. While much has happened in the span of those 13 years and there are a lot of things I think we would do differently through the years given the chance, there are two things I wouldn't change: the date or the guy.

They say hindsight is 20/20, and I think that's generally true. But it's the mistakes made and the experiences had, whether pleasant or unpleasant, along the way that makes us who we are. And when you're on this course with someone who loves you and cares about you and vice versa, you begin to grow into each other and become more and more intertwined with each passing year and each experience. And this is a good thing.

I don't mean you become one and are unrecognizable as separate persons; that would be to smother one or the other or both of the persons in the relationship. Instead, I would argue that a healthy, intertwining of beings looks more like a yin and yang, swirling together into perfect balance; or perhaps, the red and white stripes on a candy cane, in keeping with the season.

The Scoop

After 13 years of marriage, we have definitely become more intertwined in heart, spirit and mind; we are not perfectly balanced, but we're getting there. And part of that intertwining and perfect balance is having a common goal; ours is to make it through to the end...together.

Happy Anniversary, Dear Husband. "From this moment as long as I live I will love you, I promise you this...."

Anna

Losing It: Mental Illnesses and Child Custody Issues {A Post from the Past}

Some Days

There are some days; days that I feel that I am one step away from completely losing my marbles. The chaos, the lack of sleep, the stress, the ups and downs of life, it can be overwhelming. But I keep it together...for the most part. I know that these days are just that; one day ever so often in a life full of many days. I don't have a mental illness, and I have a spouse who can take the helm for a bit while I sort through my feelings, get some rest and move past the funk.

Mental Illnesses

And yet, there are parents out there who do struggle with mental illnesses. For some of these parents just making it through each day is a challenge; every day. For other parents with mental illnesses, medication can alleviate the symptoms and bring balance back to that parent's life; and the family's lives, for that matter.

Some of these parents have to find a way to cope with their illnesses and handle divorce and/or custody issues too. And other parents struggling with mental diseases are single parents dealing with everything on their own; work, finances, illness, parenting, medications. Many questions arise in these situations.

Custody Issues

For parents with severe mental illnesses the rate of losing custody is between 70 – 80%. Some states have laws that list mental illness of a parent as a condition for losing custody. The severity of the illness, combined with the symptoms of the particular mental illness, side effects from medications and the absence of another parent in the home are among the determinants for removing a child from the house of a mentally ill parent.

While all parents have a right to raise their children without government interference, the courts must weigh what's in the best interest of a child with a parent's mental disabilities and the impact on the family. If it's clear to the court that a child will be endangered by the parent's incapacity to care for his or her child, the court must remove the child from that parent's home and award custody to the other parent {in a divorce situation}, a grandparent or another competent adult.

In order for a court to determine what's in the best interest of a child, extensive mental health evaluations are ordered for the parent. The mere presence of a mental illness does not determine whether that parent will completely lose custody rights. In some cases, the court will find that based on all the evidence presented, a parent with a mental illness is still capable of caring for his or her children, at least some of the time.

A court's concern is that a child living with a mentally ill parent may suffer from neglect or abuse, be subjected to unsafe conditions or situations or be forced to take care of the parent instead of the other way around. Courts take these situations very seriously.

Due to these concerns of the courts and the high chance of losing custody, some parents in this situation may attempt to hide the illness or minimize the effects of the disease or the medications. Parents may even avoid needed treatment for mental diseases for fear of losing custody. While this is understandable considering how painful it would be to lose custody of a child, the parent must keep his or her focus on the child's safety and general well-being.

It's important to be forthright with any investigation, whether you are the parent being assessed; or the parent being evaluated is your spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse, a friend or a family member. Again, the focal point must always be the best interest of the child.

The Scoop

No matter the determination or outcome of any case involving a parent and/or child with a mental illness, it's a heartbreaking situation; and not one taken lightly by the courts. Termination of parental rights is final, but a custody situation is changeable, depending on circumstances. For instance, if a parent seeks treatment, becomes stable on medication, etc. the parties could revisit the custody arrangements, if so desired.

No matter how you look at it, a case involving a parent suffering from a mental illness is never easy for anyone involved. Over and out....

Anna

On Being a Kite or an Anchor

We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got

Cause it doesn’t make a difference

 If we make it or not

We've got each other and that's a lot

For love – we'll give it a shot

 Whooah, we're half way there

Livin on a prayer

Take my hand and we'll make it I swear

~ Chorus from Livin' On a Prayer by Richard Sambora, Jon Bon Jovi and Desmond Child

Sometimes a song says it best. It's true; I've been a Jon Bon Jovi fan since the 7th grade, but when I heard this song on the radio as I drove home last night and I cranked it much louder than a middle-aged mom in a mini-van should ever crank any music and sang along for the umpteenth time, I took the words to heart and really heard the words of the song for the first time.

As I thought about these words, I was reminded of the wise words Will's aunt bestowed upon me over 15 years ago as she and I sat in a church pew during my brother-in-law's and sister-in-law's wedding rehearsal. She told me that a couple is made of two parts; one is the kite and one is the anchor. It won't work if both of the people in the relationship are kites or both are anchors; you'll either fly away and get tossed around at the will of the wind or not go anywhere and hold each other back.

I thought this was an interesting observation and have held on to this nugget of wisdom all these years, thinking of it from time to time, pegging someone a kite and another an anchor. But what I've come to realize about this analogy is that it's only half of the story.

Here's the other half; the two parts, the kite and the anchor, are not always played by the same person; they are not lifetime roles. Sometimes the wife is the anchor and the husband is the kite; and sometimes the wife is the kite and the husband is the anchor. That's the beauty of it.

We all have times that we are barely hanging on, flitting this way and that in the high winds of indecision and doubt. Other times we are so rock solid that nothing can permeate our strong, protective layers. In these times, if we are each playing our respective parts, there is nothing that can break us or sever the ties that bind. Together, we are unbreakable.

The kite must trust the anchor and allow the anchor to hold tight during the storms of life. And the anchor must allow the kite to fly for a while and test the currents above, knowing that the kite will return and take on the anchor role when the winds shift.

Lately, it feels like we've been livin' on a prayer" for a while, but Baby, just take my hand, we're half way there. I can be the anchor right now. Over and out...

This post is dedicated to my alternating kite and anchor, Will, who I've been "livin' on a prayer" with for a long time and I'll keep taking my turn as kite and anchor for the rest of my days, and I know he will too; and my dear, wise aunt-in-law, Carol, who is most often the kite, but is fortunate to have found her anchor long ago. I love you all.

Anna