Hanging By a Thread

Being Thankful

Being Thankful is a state of mind. The feeling of gratitude is something I strive to think of and live out daily. There are certainly days that I feel other things much more than I feel thankful or grateful, but it takes diligence and resilience to continually feel thankful. It's a work in progress. I have come to see that being thankful has nothing to do with what one has or has not.

When I was younger, I was not aware or conscious of feeling thankful for things or people or feelings or places. As I have aged with time and experiences, I have grown more acutely aware of privilege and grace and mercy and kindness and luck showered upon me. And I have become more thankful for the things that make my life easier, happier, safer, etc. I have become more grateful to all the people (and animals) who are here to stay, those who are here for a chapter or two and those who merely cross paths with me. I have become more appreciative of natural beauty: the sky completely slays me every day, all day with its ever changing hues and patterns and movement; beaches, mountains, rivers, forests, waterfalls, the sun bathing the downtown skyline in gold, a fresh snowfall, the unbelievable colors of fall, the new green of spring and full out verdant beauty of summer leave me completely humbled.

When I was younger, I was bashful and shy and self-conscious, and I worried about what people would think if I danced or cried or sang out loudly. As the years tumble by, I care less and less what others think about anything I do. And for that I am truly thankful. It is liberating to be at peace with oneself.

On Thanksgiving, it is easy to get caught up thinking about the turkey and all the trimmings and the table settings and what time the guests are arriving; with shopping and making Christmas lists and when the tree is going up; with cleanup and putting away the extra table and chairs and taking down the fall decorations, but what I will be trying to settle my thoughts on is how absolutely, truly, completely thankful I am that I was born in a free country, to free, privileged, educated, good, fair, loving, caring parents and have been handed a multitude of opportunities and blessings and privileges and been loved and taken care of by so many people throughout my life.

Life is never free from all pain, trouble, cloudy skies, detours or dead ends, but that doesn't mean there isn't anything to be grateful for. It could always be worse. And that alone is reason to be thankful. Look for the good, the bright, the warm, the cozy, the kind, the beautiful, the half full or at the very least not completely empty.

May each and every one of you have much on your list to be thankful for on Thanksgiving and each day of the year. Peace and safe passages to you and yours!

Anna

Joy like a Panda {My Word for 2017}

Each December, in the dusk of the old year, I open up my mind for a new word to live by for the coming year. Now, this may sound like gibberish to you, but it works for me. Year after year, a word will come to me and when it does, it's always fitting, even when I have doubts.

In 2016, my word was "renewed." I definitely needed to be renewed and to find hope and happiness and let go of a lot this year. While there was sadness and heartache in 2016 with the passing of three of our much loved, elderly pets, there was also much renewing with 7 trips to see friends and family and new cities and old favorites. {Travel is my absolute passion.}

I allowed myself to keep tweaking our curriculum and my teaching methods and educational focus without feeling doubt and guilt. I better recognized when we needed a break or a change. I gave myself license to take a day for me when I needed it.

We adopted a new kitten and puppy, adding lots of renewed life and energy to our household.

I continue to have complete faith in my God. This is how I make it through each day, day after day. And by the grace of God, I've made it through another year. While the coming year feels bleak and uncertain to me, my ever abiding faith will sustain me.

Oddly enough, despite my anxiety over the state of our world, the word that came to me the other day while I was drying my hair was "Joy." Now, I thought to myself, "Joy? This doesn't seem right for 2017." But the words kept repeating in my head…"yes, joy!" Then, I wondered what kind of joy, in what form.

Joy is defined as "a state of happiness or felicity." But it's also defined as "a source or cause of delight." And it's important to remember that delight and joy are synonymous.

Joy is being happy and exuding happiness, which in turn can act as a source or cause for another's joy or delight. This seems like a good thing, being happy and being the cause of another's joy.

There are two scriptures that come to mind when I think of joy…

"Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

And Psalm 100:

              Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.

              Serve the Lord with gladness: come before His presence with singing.

Know ye that the Lord He is God: it is He that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name.

For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting; and His truth endureth to all generations.

I've always liked these scriptures...I was beginning to see that joy was the right word for 2017…

Then, I saw a video of a Panda playing in the snow with such pure joy, and I thought I want to have joy like a Giant panda. Honestly, when you think about videos of pandas, don't you think of joy? They always seem so happy and curious and delighted to be doing whatever they're doing, even when it's mischievous or when they get themselves into sticky situations, which seems to be often. And they are the source of great joy to the people who see these amazingly beautiful and interesting creatures.

So, it is with the unbridled joy of a Giant panda that I will strive to make a joyful noise unto the Lord and serve with gladness and thankfulness throughout the year of 2017...even though I'm not always good at unbridled joy {since I'm a Type A personality kind of gal}, I'm going to give it my all!

In so doing, I will continue to look for any opportunity to travel and explore and give aid and mercy and do good and be kind and supportive and stand up for what I believe in. Here's to a joy filled 2017! What's your word? Over and out…

Anna

 

Merry Christmas from Us to You: The Best I Can Do {On Christmas Cards}

I don't send Christmas cards. Honestly, I haven't been good at it since about 1997. So, I gave up entirely about 7 or 8 years ago…I'm not even sure that my younger son ever even made it onto Christmas card. But hey, you have to figure out your strengths and weaknesses and let go of the things that cause you stress and aren't necessary. The older you get the more you realize these things.

For me, that means not sending Christmas cards {or much of any correspondence if it must be mailed, come to think of it...}, not making my bed or forcing anyone else in the house to either, never wrapping gifts {gift bags and tissue only}, painting my toenails only in the summer {at max that's about 3 times} and letting my kids choose their own outfits, regardless of whether they match or look good or not {unless it's an important event}.

You may or may not agree with my list of unnecessaries, and that's fine. I'm sure you have your own list of unnecessaries. But here's the thing, if you send Christmas cards, we LOVE getting them. Please keep sending them! But if it stresses you out, we totally understand, and we'll understand not getting a card from you too.

So, in lieu of a stamped and mailed Christmas card, here's our family's year-end accounting and well wishes for you and yours during this most glorious seasons of peace and love…

We truly had a blessed year that was full of love and loss and lessons learned. We traveled and explored and laughed and cried and argued.

As always, we found great comfort and had loads of fun with our family and friends spread throughout this amazingly beautiful country.

We felt a sense of wonder and awe as we stood on the most northern shores of Minnesota overlooking the great Lake Superior and when we waded out into the clear Atlantic Ocean off Key Biscayne and when we swam in the gently rippling Gulf of Mexico in Marco Island and when we soaked up the history of our country's capitol and the "Windy City" and Miami and Atlanta. In short, we loved getting to know new cities and the people who inhabit them.

We had good health and added two new babies…both with fur…to our crew, after saying goodbye to three of our elderly and much loved babies early in this year. The boys grew in smarts and height and heart and sass.

We worked. We played. We were grateful for opportunities and friendships and our humble home. We can't complain.

We look forward to the New Year with hope and love and mercy and great faith in our ever abiding Lord.

Merry Christmas to You All, and May You All Have Much Peace and Love in the Coming Year! Over and out…

The Berend Family

Sticky Business {Homemade Marshmallow Recipe}

We've been sick…colds, flu-ish virus, Strep – you name it, one of us seems to have had it. The last week pretty much did us in, and on top of that, it's gotten SUPER cold. So, the boys and I have been sticking close to home and keeping cozy and warm and nursing our respective illnesses.

We like hot chocolate on these super cold, blustery, snowy days. And we like to have marshmallows in our hot chocolate, but that's gotten more complicated. My son has developed a severe sensitivity to artificial colors, and can you believe that most marshmallows have a blue dye in them? Yep, it's true, unfortunately.

We were excited when we found Trader Joe's marshmallows – gluten free for me and no artificial colors for him and really good – win-win…except for some reason they only make them in July and November. I think they are really missing out on selling these suckers, but no one asked me.

Now, our other options are to buy pretty expensive and not so delicious marshmallows at our co-op or try making them at home. I know a number of people who swear by their homemade marshmallows. So, earlier this week, I decided to try and experiment with making them.

Two challenges: 1) I rarely have all the ingredients I need and often have to substitute. 2) I don't own a candy thermometer.

But, lo and behold, I had all the ingredients (yes, even packets of gelatin, oddly enough) and I found an approximate time for cooking, not just a temperature to reach. So, we gave it a shot.

It's relatively easy, but it's a sticky business. When I was finished my hands were sticky, the counters were sticky, my mixer was sticky, the stovetop was sticky, the pot holder was sticky.

Here's the recipe I used. It's from Martha Stewart (normally I find that her recipes don't turn out, but I recall a cousin saying she uses this recipe), and this worked well for us.

Homemade Marshmallows

• 4 envelopes of unflavored gelatin
• 3 cups granulated sugar
• 1 1/4 cups light corn syrup
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract (use good vanilla – it makes a difference!)
• confectioners' sugar for dusting

Butter 9 x 13 baking dish and dust with confectioners' sugar; set aside.

Combine sugar, corn syrup, salt, and 3/4 cup water into a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil over high heat, stirring to dissolve sugar.

Cook, without stirring, until mixture reaches 238 degrees on a candy thermometer or about 9 minutes.

 I don't have a candy thermometer and went by the 9 minute cooking time and it worked out for me. Start timer when mixture is at a rolling boil.

 Meanwhile, put 3/4 cup cold water into a large bowl for mixing whole mixture and sprinkle with gelatin. Let soften 5 minutes.

 With mixer on low speed, beat hot syrup into gelatin mixture. Gradually raise speed to high; beat until mixture is very stiff, about 12 minutes.

 Beat in vanilla.

 Pour into prepared dish, and smooth with spatula. Set aside until firm. 

 Instructions say uncovered, but at our house that would mean it would end up with pet hair and maybe even some tiny cat nose prints in it. So, I covered it with a silicone lid. These instructions said to let it set up for about 3 hours; other instructions said overnight. I decided to let it firm overnight. I did try a bit after about 3 hours though and it was firm, but still VERY sticky. I dusted the top with confectioner's sugar and let it sit.

Butter a sharp knife, then cut marshmallows into 2-inch squares or whatever size you want. I made mine pretty big, about 2 inches square, I suppose …only one marshmallow needed per cup of hot chocolate.

(I did not do this) Pour 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar into a small bowl, and roll each marshmallow in the sugar to coat. Keeps for 3 days in sealed container.

Now, if you want these for hot chocolate, PLEASE, PLEASE, after going to all this trouble for good marshmallows, DO use a GOOD hot chocolate mix! We are loving the Penzeys Hot Chocolate Mix. It's made with top ingredients and so smooth and so good! I also really like the recipe on the Hershey's Cocoa container.

Enjoy! Over and out…

Anna

 

The Weight of the World

Do the issues of the world, our country, the local community weigh on you? Do you try to figure out what you can do to help people….many people…a few people…even one person? Do you think about the people who are sleeping outside on a frigid night with nowhere to go? Do you worry about the kids whose only meals come from the school cafeterias? Do you ponder what becomes of the kids who have no toys or crayons or books at all? Do you weep for the mothers trying to protect their children from war, drugs, hunger, despair all across the world? Do you ponder all the injustice and mistreatment and pray for change? Do you worry about family and friends just barely hanging on?

Do you feel guilty for indulging, being warm and cozy, showering your kids with gifts, looking the other way, going on with your own life?

These things do weigh on me and I do feel sadness and guilt. I do want to help…everyone. And yet, sometimes it's totally overwhelming. There is so much need and hurt and despair and brokenness everywhere.

I am a Christian. To me, part of being a Christian is loving all people, regardless of whether I agree with how they live their lives or what they stand for, always giving and doing for others in any way I can for those who are struggling, whether that is through prayer, money, clothing, groceries or time and working to live my life as a beacon of hope, faith and love…basically, striving to live as Jesus did.

I am also human. So, this means that I often fail, despite my best intentions. I lose my temper and patience with those who stand for things I abhor and feel desperate to open their eyes to truth and love. I waste my money on superficial, nonessential things instead of using it for good. I forget to pray for people I intended to pray for. I pass by a person in need without offering anything because I'm not sure how to help.

And yet, I do believe that if we all love and help and support each other, we will all be better off. So, even though I will falter in my goal, I will keep trying to do more wherever I find a need.

The problem is that there is a need everywhere I turn. And I struggle with how much and when and where and who to give to. I have often said, "Lord, if you would see fit to bestow a great amount of money on me, I would be able to do so much more for so many more in need." So far, the Lord has not seen fit to do so. Instead, I do what I can with what I have as much as I can. In so doing, I hope to instill a sense of giving and serving and being merciful upon my children.

It matters not to me whether the person or people I strive to help are sinners or saints, drug addicts or alcoholics or misguided or foolish, Christians, Muslims, Jews or atheists, homeless or well off, educated or ignorant, Republican or Democrat, Independent or Libertarian, black, white, blue or purple. If it be in my power to help someone in need, I will strive to do it. I can disagree with one's actions and beliefs whether I help that person or not.

I also think that charity must start within the family. If a person giving loads of money and/or time to a foundation or nonprofit or church outreach organization fails to see and help the elderly aunt or down-on-her-luck sister or cousin or in-need-of-assistance child or neighbor, I think this person may be giving for his or her own pride and profit or is merely ignorant of the need and suffering closer to home. We must always help and love and support friends and family who are in need of mercy and love and a hot meal or a bag groceries, or a few coins too.

Let us not forget to be merciful, charitable and full of love and goodness and kindness all year round, but most especially at this time of year when we look forward to celebrating the birth of HE who embodied being merciful, charitable and full of love and goodness and kindness. Over and out…

Anna    

Renewed: A New Year, A New Word and New Goals

I've struggled this past year. Oh, it has not always been visible on the surface. I keep smiling and going on, but underneath that thin smile there has been unrest, deep sadness, stress, turmoil. It was a hard year with big decisions, loss, guilt, uncertainty. I thought I was doing well, soldiering on, keeping a smile on my face, but by December I realized the toll this year had taken on me.

In 2015, we found out our second son is dyslexic, just as his older brother is. That same son ended up in hospital with an appendicitis – the first surgery for the four of us. A friend of my nine-year old son suddenly and heartbreakingly died. We made the tough decision that I would homeschool the boys. Our beloved dog had a very serious infection and almost died, but thankfully - after a VERY expensive surgery - she has fully recovered.

But we also had the great pleasure of traveling to Wisconsin with friends and to Texas and Oklahoma to spend time with family and friends. We had a blast visiting Marco Island and the Everglades of Florida. We were so thankful to spend Thanksgiving in Kansas City with our family. And the boys and I loved our many local adventures with our friends.

We grew closer to some friends and formed strong bonds with new friends. And we were so proud of the amazing academic accomplishments of our nine year-old son who had struggled in school for so long.

We cried a lot, but certainly cherished those times and the people that brought us laughter and loved and supported us through all the difficult times.

It wasn't just the big stuff that had gotten to me, but the smaller stressors too, I began to recognize. Of course, it wasn't all bad, not by a long shot. There were many wonderful highlights in 2015, as well. And yet, it was the hard stuff holding on to me, pulling me down, by December, which is already the darkest, hardest month of the year for this Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) sufferer.

I sought joy in the most magical time of the year. This time of year that I love so much for so many reasons, but this year over and over the old familiar traditions and activities that I was sure would bring me joy instead let me down and left me feeling disappointed and sad and ripped off; empty. And this made me even sadder.

I tried to sort through my feelings and figure out what to do to change the outcome; to be happier and more joyful, but each attempt failed and the more hollow I felt.

I had not fully realized the amount of stress I had put on myself taking on the education of my children, adding this big, bulky, time-consuming job to my existing responsibilities as a legal editing consultant and house manager. I had not fully recognized the deep guilt and sadness that filled us when my son's friend died last spring; guilt that my sons are still here on Earth and the heartbroken sadness as a mother and friend. And honestly, I still don't fully grasp the depths of these feelings and responsibilities, but I am acknowledging them and accepting that I don't have to fully understand it all.

I like to choose a word for the New Year. And sometimes that word finds me. And this year, I wasn't sure what that word was until I picked up my well-loved, well-worn devotional, God Calling, and read the entry for January 3^rd…"You must be renewed, remade…Only Love is a conquering force…Take heart, God loves, God helps, God fights, God wins. You shall see. You shall know. The way will open."

And then I knew my word. It is "Renewed." I must be renewed and remade this year. 2016 must be a year of healing and renewal for me in all areas of my life.

On that note, these are my aspirations for 2016:

• Write a letter to the mother of a friend who died. This should have been done years ago.
• Make a detailed plan with dates and activities for Date Nights each month with my Husband. Otherwise, we will never have date nights. We're off to a good start with this one.
• Stay on Schedule. This is not an easy task for me, but it has become necessary for staying on task for work, for school, for sleep. I can do this as long as every once in a while I can totally go off schedule for a bit.
• Yell less. I think this can be accomplished by taking more time to be alone…completely alone to read, write and think.
• Write more. This I can do if I follow the above suggestion to take more time for myself to be alone.
• Walk more. I like to walk, alone or with a friend, and I feel better when I walk a lot. But this is the thing that gets pushed back and out and forgotten. So, I must put it on the schedule and stick to it.
• Pray more. I've always been a prayer, but sometimes I get too busy, too bogged down and I forget how important that is to my every day mental health.
• Take at least 3 trips this year and have hundreds of little adventures. I'm off to a great start on this goal too!
• Be Merciful with myself and others.
• Surround myself with people who are positive and uplifting and loving.
• Be a positive and uplifting and loving friend.
• Remember to "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."
• And keep on: reading, talking with my kids – there's always so much to talk about – and really listen to what they have to say too, adventuring, traveling, experiencing and laughing with friends and family. Without these things, I don't see much point. These are the essentials to me.

So, I press on, looking forward, shedding my old, dry skin of 2015, but remembering the lessons learned, holding on to the beauty and joy of things seen and experienced while letting go of the hurt and the disappointments and the ugliness. Here's to a Happy, Prosperous, Adventurous, Interesting Renewal in 2016! Over and out…

Anna

Advent Season {Counting Down the Days}

I kind of love our Advent wreath. The boys and I made it. It's not perfect. In fact, it's even late. Advent began last Sunday. Of course, I'm a pro at being tardy; so, there's nothing new there.

We haven't ever done an advent wreath before. We have used Advent calendars, but I like the ones with scriptures and those have gotten hard to find. That's what my mom always got for us when I was a kid. But my husband is Catholic, my kids are Catholic and we attend a Catholic church. I figured it was time we had an Advent wreath.

No, it's not perfect. We used what we had. And I like that.

The candles should be 3 purple and 1 pink, but I had these candles. The boys made them at the Minnesota Honey Store this summer during a class on beeswax candles. These are special.

I had leftover evergreen tips after working on my window box. The shells came from our trip to Florida a few months ago. The pinecones are a variety I've had and used for years to decorate the house in the winter. The grapevine wreath is one I got at the dollar store a few years ago and decorated with a ribbon and gold berries and twigs. Even the cake stands were found items at Arc Value Village a while back.

If you look closely you could probably spot dust in the back corner of the hutch. No perfection here.

But we made it together with stuff from our house. Even though one boy was a bit grumbly yesterday and not really in a reverent mood, it was nice.

A little background: The Season of Advent begins four Sundays before Christmas Day. It's basically a countdown to the birth of Jesus. Advent comes from the Latin word meaning "coming." It's a time for Christians to prepare for the coming of Jesus through prayer, forgiveness and fasting. And yet it's also a time of celebration and joy. Hence the three purple candles – the first, second and fourth Sundays of Advent that represent penance - and the fourth rose colored or pink candle that is lit on the third Sunday of Advent which stands for joy. There are prayers and scriptures that go along with the lighting of the candles each day of Advent.

Do you have a special custom, new or old, to celebrate the Advent Season or count down the days to Christmas? Over and out…

Anna

Hygge: Embracing the Season & Chicken Tortilla Soup {Recipe}

I love the winter! I know…people don't often say that, but it's true, I do! And I live in Minnesota where we get the full brunt of winter weather. So, I understand what minus 30 feels like on the bare skin of your face. I know how beautiful and peaceful it is to stand outside and in the middle of a good snow listening to the quiet snowflakes fall. I know the thrill of waking to a fresh, bright winter wonderland and going out to play or ski or skate or snowshoe or sled in it and then come inside with numb fingers and toes and noses to mugs of hot chocolate and bowls of warm buttery popcorn and thick, cozy socks!

I love to make big pots of hot, soothing soups and bake comforting cakes and breads and muffins and cookies. We certainly enjoy game nights under the warm glow of our dining room light, huddling around our table as the cold swirls and howls outside. Sometimes we declare a whole day dedicated to watching movies, covered in blankets and squeezed onto one big bed.

In a nutshell, we embrace this season and all that it offers outside in nature and we love to get cozy inside too. It turns out there's a name for that. The Danish call this, "Hygge." Now, the pronunciation is a bit of conundrum. I have seen the pronunciation written out and spoken several different ways. In fact, how to say it has become an inside joke in our home, but regardless of how you say it, it's a great thing to learn and put into practice in your own life!

Hygge is the Danish term for coziness, but really it's much more than that. Here's how VisitDenmark.com explains what "hygge" means:

"In essence, hygge means creating a warm atmosphere and enjoying the good things in life with good people. The warm glow of candlelight is hygge. Friends and family – that's hygge too. There's nothing more hygge than sitting round a table, discussing the big and small things in life. Perhaps hygge explains why the Danes are the happiest people in the world?"

While winter is the high season of hygge, you can actually hygge any time really. And the more I learn about hygge, the more I realize that the Twin Citians do a really good job of hygge(ing) all year round.

We get out and do things in every season: picnics and outdoor movies and concerts and sports and walks and playing at parks and boating in the warmer months and skiing, snowshoeing and sledding and dinners with friends, and cozy coffee chats and marathon game nights and snuggly movie nights and boot hockey and relaxed brunches, winter hikes and hot chocolate and warm croissants and coffee shops on every corner, laughing, soaking up the beauty of the season, spending time with friends and family in the colder months.

So, embrace each season in your life, both the beauty of nature and the people surrounding you and the warmth of your own home, no matter how big or small it is.

Now, since the high season of hygge is upon us, I have a super tasty and ultra-easy soup recipe for you:

Anna's Chicken Tortilla Soup

1 onion, chopped

1 bell pepper, chopped

1 tsp minced garlic

1 13 ounce can of chicken breast or 1.5 cup of shredded cooked chicken

½ cup of frozen corn or fresh from the cob

1 15 ounce can of black beans

2 cups chicken broth

¾ cup cream of tomato soup (I have made this with tomato sauce too for a dairy free version, but I like the cream of tomato much better)

¾ cup salsa

Salt & pepper to taste

Get pot hot, add olive oil, then garlic, chopped onion and pepper and corn. Sauté on medium for about 5 minutes until onion is translucent.

Add chicken, breaking up any big chunks. Then, add chicken broth, black beans, tomato soup and salsa. Stir all together.

Taste and add salt and pepper or a dash of hot sauce to taste. Simmer for about 20 minutes on medium high to thicken soup and meld flavors.

This soup is not very thick though. And I like this because that means my pickier son will eat it.

We top our soup with shredded cheese, a dash of hot sauce, sliced avocado and a dollop of sour cream and serve with corn tortilla strips that I bake with a bit of olive oil and salt and pepper or corn chips from the bag.

For the tortilla strips. Use pizza cutter to cut a stack of corn tortillas into wedges or strips. Toss them with a little olive oil, salt and pepper and back on 375 for about 20 minutes, use spatula to move them around and separate strips. Then, cook another 10 to 20 minutes or until crispy. YUM!

Here's to a merry and bright hygge high season! Over and out…

Anna

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5 Things: Above and Beyond Coffee Cups

In regards to the Starbucks "Christmas" cup kerfluffle, I have nothing to say that has not already been said, and I think we're all over the ridiculousness of it. But the part that gets me the most is how silly and petty and irrelevant this argument makes Christianity look because true Christian beliefs are none of those things. I don't want to speak for Jesus Christ, but I find it impossible to believe that this gentle, loving, forgiving teacher would take issue with red and green coffee cups. What I do know is what we as Christians have been called to do, and this is what I want to focus on:

5 Things We Should Be Doing for One Another:

1. Feeding the hungry: I live in a city, and it's not hard to find ways to feed those who hunger. Drop off a bagged lunch to someone you see on a corner. Take food to a food shelf. Make sandwiches and take to an outreach center like Saint Vincent de Paul at the Basilica of St. Mary in downtown Minneapolis (our personal favorite) or similar outreach center. Serve a meal at a shelter. The list goes on and on. Make a pot of soup and take it to a friend or neighbor who is especially busy or burdened.
2. Comforting the lonely: The world is full of lonely people. I know I've been lonely at times, and the smallest gestures of love and support and friendship do not go unnoticed and can make such an impact. So, be there for friends, family and strangers. A kind word, a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, a card in the mail, a text, help with the kids, a hot meal, a simple, "Are you OK?" Suck it up even when you feel awkward or uncomfortable and simply be present for someone and be ready to listen.
3. Visiting the sick: Again, this can be awkward and uncomfortable, but being a Christian doesn't mean living the cushy, privileged, easy life. It means getting out there in the world and being of service to others in need; giving even when we think we have nothing more to give. Now, sometimes actually visiting the sick is not feasible, but volunteering to cook a meal or pick up or drop off kids or cleaning the house or running errands is also a help. Visiting the sick can take many forms.

   Last year, my son ended up in Children's Hospital for an appendectomy, and we were so well taken care of by the staff, by our family and by our friends. We happened to be on the oncology floor where lots of kids occupy their rooms for long periods of time. We decided that this year for Christmas we're going to make up a box of art supplies to take to that floor. While there, my son, enjoyed making crafts and singing songs in the activities room on that floor. So, hopefully, our arts and crafts supplies will be enjoyed by other kids staying on that floor.

4. Clothing the poor: We live in a place that has four clear cut seasons. It gets seriously cold here. It's vitally important that all people here have a warm coat, gloves, hat, scarf or muffler, socks, boots and snow pants. Please consider donating new and gently used winter gear and any clothes. It's not hard to find places to give clothing. Schools are always in need of clothing and outerwear and shoes. Many churches also take these items, especially churches downtown.
5. Loving one another: Have patience and mercy with each other. We're all trying our best and sometimes our best may be very low standards for some, but on that particular day or time it's the best we can do. We would all do well remembering this. Who among us has not had a really, horribly rotten day or week or month or year and simply needed to feel loved? This point sounds like an easy one, but it may be the hardest: love others whether they love you or do anything for you or benefit you in any way…simply love others because we are all merely imperfect creatures.

These are the things I want to focus on in my life, and what I hope to be teaching my kiddos in the process. So, whether you profess to be Christian or not, I hope you will join me in serving those in need. If we focus on loving and doing and sharing and caring, we won't have time for name calling and judging and hating. This is my hope, at least.

Oh, but for the record, my boys said that the color red alone does stand for Christmas; that is, red is for the blood Jesus shed for us that washed away our sins…Over and out…

Anna

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Make a Wish {My Birthday List}

My birthday is next week. Now, it's not just any birthday; it's a big one. It's one I've been looking forward to for a while, but regardless of my age, I really love my birthday…every year! My birthday wish lists don't always work out the way I've planned, but I keep trying.

Last year was a complete flop, but not anyone's fault. That's just the way it worked out. So, this year, once again, I have high hopes.

Here are my top 10 birthday wishes:

1. A Fall Marshmallow Roast with friends around our little fire pit. I really love doing this and having gatherings, but it rarely happens and we have a tiny house not really conducive to gatherings.
2. A walk through the trails at the MN Landscape Arboretum. Right around my birthday has proven to be a beautiful time to take a hike through these woods. My favorite visit was on my 34^th birthday just 2.5 weeks after boy #2 was born.
3. A beautiful arrangement of flowers. I remember my birthday after our wedding that Will called our wedding florist to get a birthday arrangement for me and she told him, "Don't worry I know EXACTLY what to do." I had been VERY precise in planning our wedding flowers…as you might imagine. And she did not let me down…on my birthday or the wedding. It doesn't have to be big, just beautiful.
4. A really good hot chocolate at Kopplin's Coffee in St. Paul. If you are in the Twin Cities and crave a top of the line hot chocolate, you simply have to go to Kopplin's on Marshall and Cleveland. It's a great block to peruse too.
5. Movies with my mom at Riverview. Note I said movies…plural…back to back. This is my favorite theater. It has just one theater and plays movies that have just moved out of the giant theaters. It's great in so many ways…again, if you haven't been here, go!....Check….we did this last night, plus dinner at Riverview Wine Bar.
6. A dinner date with my husband. This rarely happens. I wish it happened more often.
7. A celebration with friends. I like the idea of this, but I don't know what this would be.
8. Finding a great book to read. This is no easy feat. I'm a picky reader.
9. Not cooking or running errands or making lunches or planning anything and sleeping in on my actual birthday. Oh, and NOT going to a parent/teacher conference…these are scheduled for the week of my birthday.
10. A delicious gluten free two-layer chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and a big glass of milk. It's been years since I had an actual birthday cake.

Now, I realize 10 wishes on one's birthday is a lot, but I have high expectations…in just about all things…so, I'm going for it. Oh, and I like to celebrate my birthday over a week to two week period…at least in my mind….so, there's plenty of time for these 10 wishes. Over and out…

Anna

5 Things {Beach Rules}

When I first began coming to Surfside Beach, Texas, with my soon-to-be husband's maternal family, there were a lot of rules. These rules had been in place for several generations at this point. The rules were really more of an enforced schedule.

We all got up to eat breakfast, regardless of whether you wanted to eat breakfast; we all went down to the beach in the morning after breakfast, set up the tent and brought down the beach gear; we all came up for lunch, an assembly line of sandwich makings; we all rested a bit and then went down again to the beach, then a bit before dinner, took down the tent, carried up the beach gear and got showered and ready for dinner. Oh, and we were each supposed to make our bed every morning.

The first year I came, in 1997, I didn't completely understand these rules…I got up for breakfast (after being instructed to do so by my (then) boyfriend/ (now) husband, but I just sat there while others ate, then I went back to bed. I also volunteered to make a meal, up to this point only the moms (my soon-to-be mother-in-law and her sister) had cooked meals and before them, their mother and aunts. And I insisted on going on a search for fresh shrimp to fry up, using my mom's recipe…this was not a meal they had traditionally prepared in the 25 or so years they had been coming to Surfside.

I didn't mean to buck the system; it just came naturally to me.

Well, over the years, all the cousins got married and had kids. Our systems and schedules and rules began to change. Each family took a night to cook; some years not everyone could make it; then it was every other year and then not at all.

I hated this. I love the tradition, and I have always loved the Texas Gulf Coast (as ugly as it may be to some). Many of my favorite childhood memories reside along these shores.

So, last year we re-started the Surfside tradition with some of the family, and this year, more of the family is coming…only these days, there are not so many rules… I'm hoping my mother-in-law can dig it.

Here are our basic rules:

1. Clean up your own messes: dishes/towels/clothes, etc.;
2. Put on sunscreen and more than likely bug spray over that (several times a day);
3. Hose off before going upstairs to the house and leave your flip flops by the door;
4. Sleep until you want to get up; and
5. Have fun!

Our dining room table may or may not be a Lego/NASA staging area…I'm just sayin'… Breakfast is optional and up to each person and making our beds....yeah, that doesn't happen!

The point is, we are relaxed about things and are enjoying sitting on the deck with a drink or watching a movie late into the night with the kiddos still up, all huddled onto the couch. It's our vacation, after all. Over and out…

Anna

 

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Summer vacation with family…when the kids go to bed unbathed, smelling of sun and water, mingled with remnants of bug spray and sunscreen…when the adults are too busy catching up with cousins and aunts and uncles to notice that the children are still running about in the dark shadows long after that hour of bedtime has come and gone…when cousins, no matter the degree, play games and laugh and the distances between melt away…when meals come on paper plates and rules about desserts and number of bites to be eaten before consuming sweet treats are relaxed…when drinks come ice cold, out of coolers…when getting dressed means putting on a swimsuit…when "Are we there yet?" has been excitedly asked 10 billion times. These are the things which memories are made. Over and out…

Anna

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Chasing the Sun {Summer 2014 Bucket List}

This is the time of year I start to get antsy.

Every June I have a deadline for a big work project. I sit hour after hour at my computer during the winter as the snow falls and then through the spring as the snow melts away and teases us with a warmer day here or there and then the sun begins to stay up a bit longer and warm, shiny afternoons beckon to me from the window, and still, I sit working at my computer. Eventually, school comes to an end and my kids are excited for summer break to begin, and still, I sit working at my computer.

I began to get restless and fidgety. I try to make deals with myself about working for so long and then taking a break for a fun little adventure. I work deep into the night so that I can be out in the warm shiny days and lovely lingering evenings with birds calling and bunnies scampering and kids laughing.

And then, finally, when I think I can't stand it for a minute more, I finish my work and my summer break begins.

I love Minnesota for all of its beautiful seasons, but summer is so long awaited and free from schedules that it has become my favorite. And I think it is because of our long, cold winters that there are so many wonderful things scheduled from June 1^st to August 31^st each year.

It's hard to fit everything in, but we pack in a ton. Some things we do every summer, sometimes on a weekly basis; others things on our list are firsts. And the greatest thing of all is that so many summer activities are free! 

We make memories and create traditions all summer long that carry us through those seemingly endless cold, snowy days and nights in the winter. Here's what on our bucket list this summer…

1. Picnics at Lake Harriet Bandshell; a favorite tradition and favorite place; music (every single day through the summer), picnic dinners, awesome playground, beautiful views and walking/biking paths.
2. Swim at Bryant Lake Beach; one of our favorite swimming beaches.
3. Week on the TX Gulf Coast with family at our favorite beach; one of my favorite things ever.
4. Swim at the pool at least once a week, meeting up with lots of friends.
5. Visit Johnson Space Center in Houston, a trip we always look forward to; each time our experience is different since the boys' ages are too.
6. MN Zoo Giant Bugs exhibit and playing at the splash pad and playground and seeing all the familiar animals.
7. How to Train Your Dragon 2. I really loved Hiccup and Toothless in the first movie and seriously am so excited about this movie…it better live up to my expectations.
8. Outdoor Movies at Centennial Lakes; another beautiful, free, outdoor venue for music, movies, picnics, strolls, mini golf and lawn bowling.
9. Shakespeare in the Park; I love Shakespeare and there happens to be one in a park very near to me this year. It's Comedy of Errors; always a good one. And it's the one I saw outdoors in London one summer long ago.
   
10. MN Sculpture Garden Mini Golf; very tricky, artistic challenging golf, that is. Or mini golf at Centennial Lakes or putt putt at a park nearby, or maybe all three.
11. Open Field at Walker Art Center; Sunday afternoons are the perfect time for us to hang out in this space. I love to take a picnic, go to church and then walk over to the Walker and hang out all afternoon in the Open Field space. There are all kinds of activities from sports to games to arts and crafts to musical instruments and more there for the using.
12. Conduct a "Best Ice Cream in Twin Cities" Tasting Tour. We are pretty pumped up about this one. The Twin Cities has some REALLY good ice creams and custards! This one will be an all summer activity. We have already begun planning it out.
13. Attend at least one parade, even if it's the State Fair parade.
14. Visit Family in Texas; we love this road trip tradition.
15. Watch at least one fireworks exhibit; so many to choose from around here.
16. Golf; with my husband; with friends; and maybe with my boys (after their lessons this summer). I'm really not good, but I really enjoy playing.
17. Ride the new Green Line from Union Depot Station in St. Paul to Minneapolis stopping at the MN State Capitol, the Weisman Art Museum, Ax-man Surplus and exploring several cultures along the way. (Green Line opens June 14^th)
18. Pick berries at least once; blueberries, raspberries and strawberries available around here. So good!
19. Dine al fresco as often as possible; the possibilities are endless around here, but my favorite is W. A. Frost.
20. Go to at least one Minnesota History Center's Nine Nights of Music; this has been on the list for several years and we still haven't made it there yet. I think this is the year for it. Plus we want to explore their Toy Exhibit inside too.
21. Pizza on the Farm; two favorites: A to Z in Stockholm, WI off the Great River Road (amazing drive – even if I can't eat the pizza, it's worth it) and Red Barn Farm in Northfield (run by a friendly family from the barn/kitchen behind their home and they have a gluten free crust option that's really tasty!) Both options are relaxing, beautiful, full of animals and gardens and flowers and magnificent views of farm land. We love this tradition. Oh, and if you go to A to Z, go early so they don't sell out and so that you have time to stop at the pie shop in tiny, picturesque Stockholm to pick up dessert or stop on the way home for really great ice cream at Flat Pennies on the Great River Road). Remember you bring the plates, napkins, blanket or table and chairs, pizza cutter, candlesticks, flower arrangements, salad, apps, desserts, vino, lemonade, whatever you decide is necessary for your meal. And you take everything, even the pizza box, back out with you! Oh, there are bathrooms available in both locations! I don't go that rustic.
    
22. Go to a drive-in movie theater; eyeing the one in Litchfield right now.
23. Of course, we plan to frequent Riverview Theater too; we love this little, old (cheap) theater; some great classics being played this summer too.
24. Visit Little Mekong Night Market in St. Paul (near the Western Ave station on the Green Line).
25. MN State Fair; enough said
26. Throw a Lego Movie themed birthday party; working on figuring this one out…
27. Read, Read, Read
28. Writing, writing, writing
29. Adventure, Adventure, Adventure

Summer is an attitude. It's stopping at the fruit stand on the side of the road and then sitting in your car, eating a peach with warm juice running down your arms to your elbows and dripping down your chin; it's doing nothing but reading a book all afternoon on a quilt on a grassy hill; it's picnicking on any night of week, just because you can; it's swimming until your fingers and toes are all puckered and wrinkly and your shoulders are pink from a bit too much sun; it's finding out about an activity, location or event and piling into the car, heading there on a whim; it's ice cream long after bedtime; it's sitting around a fire pit, looking up into the pitch dark sky searching for stars; it's pulling over to read historical markers, following maps, visiting tourist traps, stepping back into history and soaking up as much sun as possible.

Here's to squeezing every last drop out of summer and making memories that last a lifetime. Over and out….

Anna

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What a Mom Does {Mother’s Day}

At mass on Easter Sunday, in front of us, there was a little girl of about four years old who had fallen asleep with her head on her mom's lap. When it was time for communion her mother gently lifted her up and whispered to her that she could stay there. As she slowly made her way up the aisle, I saw this mom turn and look back at her groggy daughter sitting there in front of me.

The mother's face was bright with a smile; a smile that was warm and comfortable; a smile that said, "all is well, all is safe"; a beacon in the dark. In that line of backs, there was the mom's sweet face shining forth. As a mom, I knew that smile and understood the gesture.

And in that instant, I realized this is what it means to be a mom.

It's that smile that shines reassuringly even when she is nervous or uncertain, but doesn't want her child to know. It's the bright face that peeks around other parents, up on tip toes to be sure her child can see her face during the school choir concert. It's the face that blinks back tears and smiles as big as she can on the first day of kindergarten. It's always sitting in the same place in the stands, beaming back with a big thumbs up when her kid skates out onto the ice. It's the gentle squeeze of the hand held tightly on the way into the doctor's office. It's standing a little longer and clapping a little harder at the competition, the play, the game, the recital, so as be to sure to be seen by the child on the field or court or the rink or the stage or  the risers.

It's always being there. It's lighting the way. It's comforting from afar. It's communicating with just a look. It's being connected with invisible lines. It's letting go without ever letting go. It's encouraging. It's empowering. It's never giving up. It's trusting, It's heartbreaking. It's what a mother does.

To all the mothers out there, Happy Mother's Day. Our title sometimes sounds like nothing more than maid, cook, chauffeur, teacher and laundress, but we know the truth. Enjoy the day! Over and out…

Anna

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Mother’s Day {Time to Simply Be}

Mother's Day is Sunday. I don't need ribbons and bows on packages. I don't need breakfast in bed. I don't need flowers. I don't need to be taken out to dinner by the family. It's not tangible things or special treatment I'm looking for.

On this hallowed day celebrating mothers near and far, what I really want is to not have to do the tasks of a mother. I don't want to think about making any meals or snacks or reprimand ill-manners or separate fighting brothers or clean up messes or repeat myself 18 times or figure out menus for next week or coordinate schedules or do laundry or load the dishwasher or help with homework or oversee baths or clip nails or raise my voice or threaten to take away screen time or shuttle kids back and forth from practices or games or activities or appointments or any of the things I do day in and day out, as a mom.

What I really want is quiet, peaceful, time alone to think and be an adult, not just a mom.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love my kids and my husband and I love our crazy schedules. And I'm thrilled that they want to participate in sports and events and be active and social and talk and talk and talk…

But on this day celebrating mothers, I like to check out of that gig and revel in the quiet of my own mind. I want to choose a book that I want to read and enjoy a hot coffee with cream all the way to the bottom of the cup without once heating it up in the microwave because I've forgotten about it and it's gone cold. I want to not answer anyone's questions. I want to wander without keeping two meandering boys within arm's reach. I want to eat a meal without children, without dropped forks, without spilled glasses of water, without tipping chairs, without chaos.

I want my cake and to eat it too…without having to share it with my boys who somehow get frosting on their hands and shirts and chins and then give me big chocolaty hugs and kisses.

I want time to be renewed and recharged and reminded. I want to simply be.

And then, I want to go back to my little home with my boys and dogs and cats and clutter with kids' artwork on the walls and books in every room and never-ending piles of laundry and perpetual lists and dog hair galore and all the things that are important to me; all the things that form my heart and soul. And start again on Monday with the meals and dishes and homework and sports and laundry and work and cleaning and settling arguments and reading at bedtime because I am, before all other things, a Mom.

How do you wish to spend this most blessed holiday? Over and out…

Anna

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Signs of the Season {A Spring Break List}

On Sunday, we went on our first "Search for Signs of Spring" stroll of this year; there will be many to follow in the next few weeks and months. We do this every year, starting sometime in March, usually; that time when you start to think that winter will never end and snow will cover the ground forever. We usually start at our local nature center, Woodlake; a bit of woods smack in the middle of the city.

Admittedly, it's a bit early for finding signs of spring here in Minnesota, especially this year, considering the winter we've had, but we use broad definitions and look for anything that tells us winter is coming to a close. And we found a few of those indicators yesterday.

Will and I walked through the packed-snow covered trails while the boys went off-trail and plodded along in the deep snow, looking for animal prints and scat and any signs of spring. They joyfully called to us as they found a deer print or presumed coyote scat or saw a bird high up in the trees, singing its heart out.

There were lots of families out skiing, strolling and snowshoeing through the woods. It was a beautiful day, actually reaching the 40s and yet snow is still quite available for winter sport.

We noted drips of water coming off downed trees that they shimmied up and leapt off of. We saw the happy chickadees singing and flitting from branch to branch high above our heads. We delighted in seeing the sap bags attached to the Maples; this week should be perfect for getting the sap running. We stomped in puddles and slush. And we talked about the mulberries we like to pick and eat in the summer as we walked past those now leafless trees. 

It gave us hope to see these changes in the landscape, and it got me to thinking about Spring Break.

I love Spring Break because it was always such a magical time for me as a kid; a kid who always hated school. And as a kid, the week seemed to last forever!

We never went on any big trips or did anything extravagant, but it was a time to work on projects or play games or read or watch movies and just be. For a person who does not do well with schedules, this week of no scheduled events or times to be somewhere was delightful in and of itself.

Since becoming a mom with kids in school, I still look forward to Spring Break. We love to do things around the house, but the mini adventures out and about are also something to look forward to. So, here is my list of 30 things to do on Spring Break, just in case you are stuck in planning yours. Of course, I don't anticipate doing all of them; after all, that would take scheduling and I simply do not schedule this week.

1. Make Oobleck; my son did this at school and wanted to do it at home too and even drew out the recipe and process for us; seems like a Spring Break kind of thing to do;
2. Make a Peep diorama; anyone can enter the St. Paul Pioneer Press contest;
3. Go to the cheap movies; for us that is Riverview Theater in Minneapolis. We love the feel of this old one screen theater…and you can't beat the price of $2 a ticket.
4. Go to the zoo;
5. Go bowling;
6. Go ice skating; probably indoors for better ice. It's off-season for hockey, but we still have to keep up with skating.
7. Go roller skating; just for a change of pace;
8. Go to the arboretum; and for us that means the Maple Syrup Tours and Pancake Brunch;
9. Paint pictures; not my favorite thing to do with my boys….it can get very messy;
10. Declare a Lego Day and simply build and design with Legos all day;
11. Go to a museum or art center;
12. Have a dance party in your living room; any attire is acceptable;
13. Bake cupcakes for no reason other than it's SPRING BREAK!
14. Declare a book day; take turns reading out loud to each other and then everyone can read his or her book quietly…this way mama can read the book of her choosing too;
15. Go to a Nature Center; look for signs of spring…or maybe summer, depending on where you live;
16. Write a book together and illustrate it; Creative Kidstuff has some great bound blank books and comic books for this activity;
17. Spend the whole day in your jammies watching movies on Netflix or from your own dvd stash…maybe watch all of the Star Wars movies or all the Harry Potter movies; order Jimmy John's for lunch. This one is especially good if the weather is foul.
18. Have a tea party; yes, even if you have boys. I love tea parties and the best part is making the food for it; boys like food, especially if they have a hand in making it;
19. Play ball….soccer, baseball, basketball, football, tennis, golf, whatever….assuming you don't have snow on the ground or have a place to play inside;
20. Have a Family Movie Night and make or order pizza and stay up late watching movies together…no school in the morning…;
21. Play in the remaining snow…assuming there is any left (wishful thinking, folks) and then make a big pot of hot cocoa…not instant…with marshmallows…for the last time this season.
22. Declare it Game Day and play card games and board games all day;
23. Walk to a park and play on the playground; again, assuming there aren't mounds and mounds of snow on the ground…it has to melt sometime, right?
24. Explore a part of town you haven't before; shops, restaurants, activities, etc.;
25. Sign your kid(s) up for a day program offered through the city or school or museum in your area; by this point, the kids {& mom} have probably reached their limits of "family time." Give everyone a break;
26. If close to Easter; dye eggs and stuff plastic ones and do egg hunts inside and/or outside;
27. Go to the dollar store and find some cheap activities/games/toys. Each person gets $4 to spend;
28. Hang out at a coffee shop for a few hours, each person with his or her own electronic device. It gets you out of the house, around other people and you can each have a bit of space while being together; this week is lasting forever;
29. Plan absolutely nothing and see where the week takes you; and
30. If you have done all of these things, start over again with #1…the week won't last forever and the kids grow and will have plans of their own before we know it. So, I will be trying to remember this and soaking up every minute that I can!

Happy Spring Break….whenever yours is! Over and out…

Anna

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Celebrating Sacrifice {Making the Most of the Lenten Season}

Today is the start of Lent. Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Easter Sunday. It is a period of preparation through penance, prayer, almsgiving, repentance of sins, atonement and self-denial, reflecting the 40 days Jesus spent fasting and praying in the desert that is observed by Christians.

I don't think that the real purpose and idea of Lent is fully understood by many. Often people will simply give up something during Lent; exercising only the self-denial part of this season. I've heard people say they were giving up caffeine or alcohol or chocolate or TV for Lent. Rarely did I observe anyone completely follow through with his or her declared abstention though.

I always pondered this. And never thought much of this practice. What did it mean? What was gained by this self-denial? Simply giving up something often consumed will not bring a heightened spiritual awareness or forge a closer relationship with God or prepare someone for the Easter celebration.

While self-denial is one of the aspects of Lent, there is really much more to it than not consuming any Cokes or not eating meat on Fridays.

I will admit I have never put much effort into Lent. Over the years, this liturgical season has had more meaning for me though. I am a faux Catholic {faux because I go to a Catholic Church, a church I love, but I am not Catholic and yet my kids and husband are}. And for Catholics the Lenten season is serious business; something I learned very early in my relationship with my husband.

Well, this year, I began to really think about Lent and what it means and how we as a family can celebrate it, not just observe it. We will begin by going to an Ash Wednesday Eucharist tonight, but it won't stop there.

I happened to see a friend share a link on Facebook for a list of 40 Ideas for Keeping a Holy Lent from the House of All Sinners and Saints. This list resonated with me. It made more sense as to what should be taken into account during the Lenten season. This list was something I could follow.

This list is challenging, but also very doable for all members of the family. It gives those of us who are not disciplined and structured one task to do each day as we prepare ourselves through almsgiving, self-denial, repentance, atonement and prayer. I think that the tasks on this list will bring about a heightened spiritual awareness and give me personal insight as to what areas of my life I need to spend more time working on and how that time should be spent (praying/reading the Bible/spreading love and comfort, etc.).

This year I want to really take part in Lent and celebrate it. To merely observe it means that one is on the outside looking in. No one ever got anywhere simply observing something.

So, if Lent is something you celebrate or even if it's not, take a look at this inspiring list of ways to give back, share what you have, do good, live simply and without fear, resentment, regret or anger. No matter what you believe, this list could really impact you and those around you, not just for next 40 days, but for the rest of your years. And one thing I know for certain, it's got to be more beneficial than simply giving up chocolate for 40 days…ain't nobody wants to see that! Oh, and this site has some great ideas for celebrating Lent too. Over and out…

Anna

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The Reason My Husband and I Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day

We don't celebrate Valentine's Day; my husband and I. We used to, but it just didn't quite work out.

By the first Valentine's Day of our courtship we had been dating for about a year. We should have known each other pretty well. He was working as a cameraman at one of the TV stations and had a short window of time between the newscasts to come to my house for dinner and then get back before the 10 pm news.

I prepared our dinner, set a romantic table, as romantic as a college kid's tiny apartment with a card table and a mish mash of dishes and candles can be, and waited for him to arrive. We ate our dinner; it was probably spaghetti, but I don't recall, and then we exchanged gifts.

I have no idea what I got him, but he got me a gift set of perfume with a bottle of perfume and similarly scented lotion, etc. He wanted me to open and try it right away. I obliged. And then I hurried him out the door back to work for the 10 pm news.

I am very allergic to perfume, and most scents of any kind. I had never had any perfume on me or in my apartment in that year that we had dated. But I guess he hadn't noticed.

I quickly washed my skin where I had applied the scent, took some Benadryl and stuck the box under my bathroom sink. There that box remained for the next two and half years.

Fortunately, Will forgot about that gift and didn't ask me about it again. I knew I would have to tell him before it was time to buy me a gift again. I finally did tell him and he felt bad about it, but he never forgot to NEVER buy me scented anything.

We continued to try to celebrate Valentine's Day, but it always seemed contrived and awkward and ended up a flop to go out on that date, along with everyone else, to celebrate our love, just because that day was deemed the day of love.

And then, in 1999, just a few months after our marriage, we decided to buck the system. We didn't HAVE TO celebrate our love on Valentine's Day. So, we didn't.

Since having kids we do have little Valentine's Day celebrations at home with red foods and heart-shaped foods and dishes and red and pink on the table, etc. It's fun and easy and not contrived at all.

This is not to say we don't have any romance or sweet notes or ever go out, we do. Not as much since having kids, but we do, it's just on our own schedule, not Hallmark's.

{Please Note: I do realize that Valentine's Day celebrations have nothing to do with Hallmark, but it's just a figure of speech, as it seems that Hallmark often dictates our card-giving holidays.}

And yet, I will admit that I did buy my husband a card this year. I happened to see one that I liked and decided to get it. And if Will saw a nice box of chocolates and wanted to give them to me that would be accepted {with open arms}…not that he has to, but I'm just remarking.

And on this Valentine's Day, we will have red and pink food and make heart-shaped dishes and drink pretty, sparkly Shirley Temples (the only time of year my kids get soda) as we sit around our table for a quick meal before we dash off to the kids' ski lessons on Friday night.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day, however you choose to spend it. Over and out…

Anna

 

Go Forth and Do Good!

I believe that there is a thin line between holding it all together, making ends meet and losing everything and being at the mercy of those who are still holding it all together. I believe that each of us should do whatever is within our means and our power to help another human being, whether it's with a smile and an outstretched hand or a bag of groceries or cup of coffee or mortgage payment or help securing a job or meeting whatever need there is.

This is exactly what my boys and I did on Wednesday. Now, what we did was not earth shattering and did not change anyone's life or general trajectory, but we did share what we had and spread holiday cheer as best we could.

We did spend money on our Do Good projects and we were so glad to be able to do so because the last few years we have not been able to help in these ways, but one certainly need not spend much or any money to reach out to people and do good.

The boys and I started thinking about December 18th, our self-designated "Do Good" day about a month or so ago. It was my goal to combat the greed that sneaks in during this gift-giving, shopping, consuming focused time of year. It was also my hope to show my boys how much joy comes from giving to others.

So, we took a day off from our regular schedules to DO GOOD. We started off by taking sandwiches and cookies to the Basilica of St. Mary's St. Vincent de Paul's Program. This charity is dear to my heart and one of my very favorites to give time and money and goods to. So much good is done here on a daily basis. My heart swelled as my 5 year-old proudly took charge of handing out sandwiches to these hungry people.

My sons took an especial interest in Kevin. We were told Kevin lives under a bridge, carrying all of his worldly possessions in his backpack. He's a tall, slender man with thick, red hair and beard. Kevin has a quiet, peaceful presence and a kind voice and demeanor. Kevin comes to the Basilica often to get a hot cup of coffee, some food and some warmth. When we met him he was perusing the book selections available. We gave him two sandwiches and a Caribou gift card. He will be in our prayers during this very cold winter.

With uplifted spirits and giving hearts, we moved on to Toys R Us. We bought stuffed animals and took them to Children's Hospital in Minneapolis. We specifically designated these soft, cuddly plushies for the Rehab Department where, two years ago, we spent four months of weekly 2.5 hour appointments getting serial casts for my 7 year-old and then another year and a half of physical therapy. We were loved and cared for and supported there; Cheryl and Michelle and Heidi will forever have a special place in our hearts.

Children's of Minneapolis is a exceptional place, designed for kids and families; full of bright and interesting and interactive art and displays in the public areas. My kids enjoyed making music and watching a mesmerizing marble run/sculpture while we were there. And a boy sitting on a couch in the main lobby was handing out Green Lantern stickers; an extra bonus of our Do Good campaign. 

Then, we had a fun idea. We got a big canteen of hot chocolate and cups from Caribou Coffee. We took it over to the boys' school at the time the buses were arriving to pick up the kids. We went bus to bus, offering a warm cup of hot chocolate to each driver. They were surprised and gracious, and the boys had fun doing this. We had some hot chocolate left after all the drivers were provided for, so we headed inside and shared some holiday cheer with the office staff and a few teachers we met along the way.

Next, it was time to head up the police and fire stations. The boys had a thrill talking to the police officers we encountered as we gave presented them with Christmas cookies. Then, we had the pleasure getting to know our fire department a bit better. The firefighter who met us at the door to take our cookie gift was so gracious and kind and interested in the kids, answering ALL of their questions, explaining everything and giving us a private tour of the station, sending us on our way with two very happy, smiling, firefighter-helmet-wearing boys. 

Our last stop was to their pediatrician to drop off cookies and a Caribou gift card; we all love our pediatrician. He ALWAYS takes the time to hear our concerns, discuss various studies, articles and current issues (and you know I like to talk about things like this!) and talk to the boys and earn their respect and trust, not just ours. This stop was suggested by the boys; and I think that's saying something!

In the last few weeks we also donated $100 to charity:water; and gave a pound of Reindeer Blend Caribou Coffee to soldiers in Afghanistan, donated toys to VEAP and shopped for winter gear to give to the boys' school nurse to hand out as needed.

Again, I do not share this to give myself a pat on the back. I don't need that. I share this, as we shared with others yesterday as we went from place to place, because sometimes we all need a little reminder of our blessings, and that we each have something to give, even if it's simply a smile and a kind word.

It was not so very long ago that we tread dangerously close to that fine line. We stood toe to toe with desperation and emptiness. We know what it feels like. And may we never forget that feeling.

So, yesterday we spread holiday cheer. We gave people something to smile about. We filled some empty bellies; shared warmth and love and the spirit of giving without hope of anything in return. And my boys felt contented and happy and full of warmth all because they thought of others and did good things for others. They {at least temporarily} forgot about all the things they want or have on their lists or don't have yet, but their friends do.

That is the best Christmas gift I will receive this year. Wishing each of you a very Merry Christmas, and year full of second chances and blessings, big and small. Over and out….

Anna

 

 

Move Over, Martha! {Imperfect is the New Perfect}

I'm no Martha Stewart. And {no offense, Martha} I wouldn't want to be compared to this pop-culture icon, perfectionist snob, ex-convict.

Martha's old-school perfect is not achievable in a real-life home where mom and dad work, kids run in, out and through, pets abound, schedules collide, meals are sometimes an after-thought and life happens without the aid of a personal assistant, driver, gardener, housekeeper, personal trainer, etc, etc, etc.

That doesn't mean that a home can't be cozy, warm, beautiful and inviting and meals aren't tasty, homemade, fresh and nutritious. There's just a new and improved standard of perfect.

When Martha rose to the top of her perfectly sculpted, hand-wrought, expertly starched, ivory hued {linen} tower, we were a different society. We were not do-it-our-selfers; we were not interconnected online; sharing ideas, recipes, photos and designs. We were simply observers; dreaming of living life in the penthouse. We were intrigued with her detailed, ridiculously long recipes and her hoity toity language and luxurious extravagance.

We are more self-sufficient now. We have blogs and Facebook and Pinterest to encourage us to give it a try; get some fabric, a bit of paint and some ribbon; be ourselves; give our homes our personal touch with our own signature looks; imperfect is the new perfect. We can do it ourselves. We are creative and inventive and colorful.

Recently, Martha had a bit of a tantrum. She spouted off about all the so-called lifestyle and foodie bloggers. She complained that they were not {GASP} experts; they had not sufficiently tested their recipes; they are inexperienced. Martha doesn't like these people moving in on her territory.

Dear Martha, calm yourself, you might get a wrinkle in your blouse…. I am sorry to tell you this, but you are irrelevant now. You may have helped us get here, but we are OK with making mistakes and living with wrinkles and making up our own recipes and following mere novices.

Now, I certainly don't claim to be a lifestyle or foodie blogger, but I do sometimes post recipes or holiday decorating or party ideas. So, I feel that I should offer a disclaimer here: I am not an expert designer, decorator, chef, recipe writer or party planner.

And yet, I have tested and consumed all recipes I have posted here. I have created, designed, planned and implemented all items involving home décor or party ideas shown on this blog.

And in that spirit of sharing I have a few holiday décor photos right here in this post. So, Move Over, Martha!

Oh, and for the record, back in the day, that is, the 1990s, I did try a few of Martha's "expertly tested" recipes and none of them were ever keepers. Ironically, I actually always wondered if they were indeed tested.

So, don't worry about whether your favorite lifestyle or foodie blogger is an expert and don't think twice about whether you're qualified to tackle a project in your home. If you like, try it; be creative and have fun; be your own Martha.

Over and out…

Anna