Hanging By a Thread

The Power of Impact

To start with, I've had a bad cold. I got it from my boys over the weekend while traveling. Of course, it means nothing when mom gets a cold. Life goes on. So, I have been tired and cranky and generally feeling cruddy all week. Thursday was no exception, but then my mood got worse. And on Friday, I woke with a tremendously heavy sadness on my heart and mind. Here's why.

On, Thursday, the boys and I spent the day with my computer or phone on a live feed of the Senate Judiciary Committee, watching both Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and Judge Brett Kavanaugh testify before the nation.

I knew only her story and very little else about Dr. Ford before her testimony. I thought I believed her story, but was anxious to hear her and see her tell her side of things to determine her credibility in my own mind…not that my opinion of her matters in the least.

I was struck by her calm, yet genuine and terrified-beneath-the-surface demeanor. I understood how she felt sitting there sharing her most devastating details of shame and guilt and confusion and sadness and aloneness that she has been carrying with her for 36 years. My heart went out to her.

We listened to her words and watched her face and heard her tone and completely believed her. She gains nothing and has lost much in coming forward to speak. My heart broke for her.

Listening to her speak about her 15 year old self and this bewildering, traumatizing experience took me back to my teenage years. I recalled two distinct times that I allowed myself to get into a vulnerable position, during high school, about 28 years ago. Now, I say that I allowed myself to get into a vulnerable situation because time and time again we see that it is the woman's responsibility to steer clear of such situations and it's her fault if she does not.

Now, in my case, nothing happened to me in either of these instances, but I am now and was then well aware that it could have. Just knowing I was in a situation that made me feel trapped and vulnerable, I can clearly recall all kinds of details about the space I was in, the smells, the sounds, some (but not all) of the people there or nearby, how I felt and what I was thinking, but I could not give you a date and I could not name each person there. I'm not even sure of the exact year. This does not mean it didn't happen.

I imagine that if you asked the other people who were there with me during those two instances they would not recall these things in such detail. In fact, I would bet they would not have any recollection of these instances at all. This does not mean it didn't happen.

I NEVER told anyone about these instances…not my best friend, not my mother, not my husband. No one. This is the first time I have ever shared anything about these two instances outside of my own mind. I did not tell anyone because I felt shame for allowing myself to get into such situations. This does not mean it didn't happen.

The reason it stands out in my memory so vividly and has stayed with me all of these years is that it had a significant impact on me. After the second instance, I promised myself then, in high school, I would not allow myself to get into such a vulnerable situation again. These two instances scared me and cautioned me and trained me and shaped me.

I can imagine that the other people involved in these two instances didn't recall it happening a year after it occurred, let alone 5 or 10 or 22 years later. This is simply because it did not have an impact on them. It did not scare them or worry them or warrant a change in how they approached certain people or situations.

Now, going back to Dr. Ford and Judge Kavanaugh, one of them is not telling the truth, or at least not remembering what happened correctly. One of them was not impacted by this experience. My money is on Judge Kavanaugh as being the one who is not telling the whole truth and/or not remembering the instance correctly and thoroughly.

Judge Kavanaugh's demeanor and attitude also made me think of instances, both in working in the courts and general life experiences, of privileged men who are used to getting what they want when they want it, and then get caught being bad and are at risk of not getting what they want.

He yelled and deflected blame and repeated the same answers over and over and made accusations. He was evasive and sometimes responded with silence. He talked back and whined and cried. He was all kinds of emotional and belligerent and haughty. I have seen this behavior. I know this kind of behavior. I have seen this behavior from grown men, but any parent will recognize this kind of adolescent, rebellious, defensive fit throwing, as well.

This spoiled, whining, privileged man child having a huge meltdown temper tantrum was watched by thousands and thousands of people, and I believe it will have an impact.

The impact will not be on the male Republican Senators who rebuked the Democrats for causing such pain and suffering for this upstanding man and his family…at least not directly…and who will vote to confirm Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court of the United States.

The impact will not be on Kavanaugh who will most likely still get his way and be appointed for life to the United States Supreme Court. His family is not ruined. They will move on from this. But let me say, I am sad for his wife and daughters who are having to go through all of this because of their husband and father.

And yet, I do think there will be an impact. I think there already is a wave of change that has been gathering momentum and speed and depth and integrity and raw, composed rage. It's coming….just you wait.

For now, I will keep explaining and teaching and showing my boys what is right and wrong; what justice looks like; what respect looks like; what mercy looks like; what integrity looks like; and how Jesus instructs Christians to act.

From a different perspective, as a student of the law with a deep respect for the highest court in our land and for (most) of the justices who sit on the Supreme Court of the United States, I am greatly distressed, disappointed and frustrated. Putting aside whether he has repeatedly, on several topics, lied before Congress and whether he sexually assaulted one or more women, the person who has emerged under pressure in these hearings is NOT the kind of impartial, rational, discerning person the United States Senate should be placing on the Court. Our highest court of the land deserves better than this. We, the people of this democracy, deserve better than this.

My heart breaks and my blood boils for all people everywhere who have been hurt, broken, taken advantage of, assaulted, raped and have told their stories only to be threatened, ridiculed and worst of all, ignored.

I hear you. I believe you. You matter. You have made an impact. You are not alone. Everyone does eventually get his day in court; before his maker, that is.

Over and out…

Anna

Be Kind and Do the Right Thing {It’s Really That Simple, Isn’t it?}

What if we made decisions based on reason and good sense and because it was in the best interest for all or at least most? What then?

What would our world look like? What would we think of our leaders then? How would we feel about mankind? How would we feel about ourselves?

There are a few things that have really bothered me over the last few weeks; items from news headlines and articles. Here they are {in brief} and my thoughts on them {in brief…as brief as I can be}:

All Parents have Challenges

Gwyneth says moms with "regular" jobs working 9 to 5 have it easier than "movie stars" working 14 hours on location.

My Take: Don't compare yourself to others and their situations. You have no idea the challenges, burdens and sacrifices that another has faced or is facing. Simply be kind to others and live your own life. And if you don't like your life, take steps to change that – this goes for "movie stars" too.

I have no doubt it is challenging to be a celebrity and a mom, but it is also challenging to be "regular" mom working 9 to 5 in an office or working from home or working shifts or whatever a mom's situation is. Can we just agree it's challenging to be a mom?

Government could Save $400 Million with One Simple Change

Fourteen year-old boy comes up with a simple (& proven) way to save the federal and state governments $400 million dollars each year by changing the font in which they use for printing purposes; Times New Roman uses more ink than Garamond. By printing in Garamond, the governments would save this astronomical (to me) amount in ink costs.

My Take: This is remarkable. And yet, will the branches of government even consider such a change; a change that could mean closing the gap in other areas of their budgets or that this money could go towards more important things than ink? I doubt it. It seems that the government (federal and state) and the politicians running them are rarely interested in ways to truly be economical or do what is safer, healthier or smarter with our money. It is almost always about spending money in their districts or with their constituents or something that will benefit them personally, I am sorry to say.

But wouldn't it be great to see the government truly working with this 14 year-old and implementing this simple change?

If the government was run like a household budget, the government would most certainly try this money-saving plan.

Watch YourSELF! Don't be a Bully!

Self Magazine published a photo of two women running in a marathon wearing superhero-inspired tutus…and featured it in their BS Meter, Legit or Lame segment, calling it lame and making fun of them for wearing the tutus…one of the runners in the photo has cancer, ran while doing chemo and makes and sells the tutus to help fund a youth development program for girls…

My Take: This whole thing really smells to high heaven. They asked permission to use this photo and then proceeded to make fun of her and her friend… that's bad enough. But then, they find out she has cancer and was going through chemotherapy during the time she ran and she does good with the money she makes in selling these tutus….wow!

So, editors at Self, clearly you failed miserably on this photo, but I think you have failed overall with this whole segment. Who are you to poke fun at anyone? Even if she and her friend were simply runners, no cancer or nonprofits involved, it's not OK to make rude comments about someone. That is bullying behavior. I say ditch your BS Meter altogether.

I applaud the self-expression, and you can call me lame if you like, but anything superhero-inspired is cool in our household. And seriously, these two women were RUNNING A MARATHON! They ROCK…period!

Privacy Issues in School Bathrooms

There was a recent incident in a St. Paul school when a janitor was inappropriate in a boys bathroom.

My Take: As a mom to boys, I have often thought this is a bad idea for the men on staff to share a bathroom with the boys in the school, considering there are urinals and not just stalls. I think both boys and the male teachers/staff should have privacy in a bathroom at school. And having separate bathrooms for students and personnel affords protection from such instances, for both the adults and students. Of course, the same can be said for the girls bathrooms too, but there are at least stalls and doors, giving more privacy. And really, I'm not sure urinals without enclosures have a place in schools.

Suing Your Parents is NOT a Good Idea…EVER

A high school student sued her parents, trying to force them to pay for her college expenses. The suit was dropped and the girl moved home, fortunately.

My Take: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Clearly, this girl had lost her way somewhere and has hopefully found her path again now. There was little basis to her lawsuit. There was no evidence of abuse or neglect. Instead, it appeared to be a case of a girl not wanting to follow her parents' rules (which by reports from her parents were not terribly restricting) and leaving home on her own accord to live with a friend's family once she turned 18, but wanting her parents to continue to fund her life.

This friend's father was an attorney. It sounds like he talked her into suing her parents for her Catholic high school tuition payment and college living expenses for the next year. This is very unfortunate, it not only put attorneys in a bad light yet again, it also makes the girl look like a spoiled rotten, greedy brat (which may not have been the case at all) and these shenanigans cost all involved a great deal of expense and energy and heartache….all for nothing.

Usually simply talking out a problem is a good and cheap solution to most familial issues.

These are the headlines that have been knocking around in my head lately. And now you know my take on them. Over and out…

Anna

 

 

 

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Superheroes {Believe}

News Flash: Cancer is Killing Us {but we can Fight back}

Sleeping with the Enemy {Kids and PJs}

Empting out the Drawers

I just threw out all my kids' pajamas; all the fleecy, fuzzy Mario Bros, Angry Birds, Avengers, Ninja Turtles and snowmen playing football. No, I wasn't having a mommy tantrum. It wasn't a brain dead mommy moment either. Nope, I was lucid and calm, but not happy about it.

The reason I tossed my kids PJs is because they were flame resistant; said so right on the tags. Sounds like a good thing, right? Well, it's not.

No, I certainly don't want my kids to catch on fire while wearing their jammies. But you know what concerns me more? Toxic chemicals.

Missing the Forest for the Trees

Here's what the U.S. Consumer Product and Safety Commission says about kids pajamas,

To protect children from burns, these rules require that children's sleepwear must be flame resistant and self- extinguish if a flame from a candle, match, lighter or a similar item causes it to catch fire. The rules cover all children's sleepwear above size 9 months and up to size 14 and require that

(1) the fabric and garments must pass certain flammability tests; or

(2) be "tight fitting" as defined by specified dimensions.

What this means is that the majority of kids' pajamas are treated to be made flame resistant, especially synthetic or fleece materials.

The Danger of Flame Retardants

Mothering Magazine reports, "the most common chemicals used on pajamas are halogenated hydrocarbons (chlorine and bromine), antimony oxides, and phosphate based compounds. These offgas into the air kids breathe and are skin irritants."

HealthyChild.org found that "While flame retardant chemicals like chlorinated TRIS and PBDE have been phased out due to toxicity concerns, others remain, like tetrakis (hydroxymethyl) phosphonium chloride, a.k.a. "Proban" or "Securest." This popular treatment has been linked to a variety of health effects including genetic changes, cancer promotion, and liver and nervous system damage."

And yet, PracticallyGreen.com says that "One carcinogenic chemical, chlorinated Tris (TDCPP), which was removed from children's pajamas back in the 1970s was recently found by The Washington Toxics Coalition and Safer States in 80 percent of new baby and children's products!"

Why This Bothers Me

I watch what we put in our bodies, avoiding processed foods, high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated fat, artificial colors and flavors, preservatives, etc. I am careful about what we put on our skin; lotions, shampoo, sunscreen, makeup, skin creams, etc. I don't buy harmful chemical cleaners; we use Norwex, of course, cleaning mostly with microfiber and water (ask me how). We don't use products with harmful chemicals in our laundry room; we use Norwex there too.

I am careful to watch for other areas that chemicals could make their way into our home, but chemicals in the kids' pajamas, leaching out into the air, being inhaled, as my darlings sleep; that makes me mad!

Check the Labels

There's a remedy. Not all kids' pajamas are flame resistant. It's not necessarily easy to find them and they probably aren't covered in your kids' favorite characters and they aren't necessarily cheap, but you can find them. Look for snug-fitting, long-underwear style jammies. You can always get them at Hanna Andersson and Gap Kids has some styles that are not flame resistant online. The tags must say whether they are flame resistant or not; so always check there to be sure.

The CPSC requires all sleepwear that is not flame-resistant to bear a label saying, "For child's safety, garment should fit snugly. This garment is not flame resistant. Loose-fitting garments are more likely to catch fire." Look for this bright yellow tag attached to the jammies; this is what you want to see. This means it is free of toxic flame retardant treatments.

The Scoop

This is important to me. I care what goes into my kids bodies. Kids are effected much more than we, as adults, are when it comes to chemical levels in our bodies. The rate of cancer and other conditions related to toxic chemicals is astounding and on the rise. The question I have begun to ask is not why did so-and-so get cancer, but why do we all not have cancer.

This post is not meant to frighten you, but to arm you with information. If you have information, you can make informed choices and make a difference for your family. And if we all make informed choices, we could change our communities, our country, our world.

Now is the time to start taking a stand against harmful chemicals; it's not too late, but we must stand up and DO something.

And please note that the federal regulations require kids' sleepwear to be flame-resistant because of external heat sources that a child might come in contact with, such as a fire in a fireplace, a candle, an electric heater, a lighter, etc. This requirement is not in place in order to protect a child from a house fire.

Therefore, if you choose to clothe your children in pajamas that are not flame resistant, do exercise extra caution around any open flames/heat sources, as I would hope you would do regardless of whether their pajamas are treated with toxic chemicals.

And I have more to say on several related topics too….coming soon.

So, are you tossing out your kids' pajamas? Over and out…

Anna

Conclusion: The Trouble with the World is Complacency

The difference between complacency and living on purpose is a matter of ignorance.

If you don't know (or care about) the dangers or the concerns or the repercussions of what you are eating, where you are living, activities you are engaged in, people you are hanging out with, habits you are forming, products you are buying or using or leaders and causes you are supporting, then you're complacent; satisfied with the ways things are regardless of whether it's a positive or negative effect.

Not so bad, you say? Well, that all depends. Do you want to live in the shadows or do you want to be out in the light? Do you want to be fully informed or just another drone going through the motions? Do you want to be living life to the fullest and teaching your kids to do this as well or do you shrug your shoulders and think, whatever happens, happens; I have no control over things.

Complacency: the reluctance to take charge of your life and the outcome of situations concerning you and your family.

Have you ever noticed that some people are continually surrounded and caught up in the swirling vortex of drama; things just happen to them and the people around them....constantly. And yet, I have noticed that generally these people never formulate a plan or stand up to the architect of the drama or announce a call to action. No, instead they merely shrug and say, "Why do these things keep happening to me/my family/my friends?" But instead of a stand down or a decision or a plan, they simply say, "Oh well."

I say take the bull by the horns. Do not live with complacency. Live with purpose.

Educate yourself; stay informed; surround yourself with positive, supportive, well-informed people.

Do not simply accept that something must be your fate...do something.

Life is an action word. Life is about using our senses (including common sense) and putting our little gray cells in our heads to work and standing upright and going headfirst. Life is about purposely doing and not doing.

So, are you complacent? Are you just going to sit there and take it? Are you watching from the sidelines and taking the knocks that come your way? Or are you actively participating in this thing we call Life...leaving a positive legacy, doing your part, taking part and stepping up? It's your choice....really. Over and out...

Anna

Photo Op {Pro-Woman....Need I Say More?}

Isn't it funny how a place can feel like home even when you haven't been there for years and years and all the memories come flooding back and you can navigate by instinct? Well, last weekend I was in Austin, Texas; my birthplace; the capital city of Texas. We were there with lots of other Berends for a cousin's wedding and staying just off the Congress Ave. bridge; the one where millions of bats live (aside – a very cool thing to see at sunset).

It was the first trip to Austin for our sons. I was so excited to show them the Texas State Capitol and regale them with stories my childhood memories of visiting this magnificent building on school trips and with my mom and brother during summer excursions and playing and picnicking on the beautiful grounds and how my birth (& my brother's) had been proclaimed in the legislative chambers and of my great uncle, a state representative, etc.

It was a hot day; 104 degrees we later found out. The boys had complained of walking too far in the intense heat on our way to brunch (remember, they're Minnesotans). Our most helpful waiter told us we could catch a city bus for $2.50 just a across the street from the Snack Bar (sidebar – this is an amazing, delicious, fresh, farm to table, very accommodating café on S. Congress – go there if you have the chance!) So, we did; getting off just a few blocks from the capitol building and walking up the street, capturing all its grandeur and all my memories, as we did.

As we walked, a sign caught my eye. It was written in red marker on a white poster board and it had been stuck into the wall of a boarded up storefront. It made me think of that magical night just a few weeks back when there was that possibility that women could win a battle over choice and autonomy when it comes to their own bodies; that night when Wendy Davis stood, unwavering, for 11 hours, prepared to go longer, intending to go longer; that night when men and women filled the layers of that awe striking white rotunda, going up and up and up; cheering and shouting. The images I saw made me long to have been there; filled me with gratitude and admiration for leaders like Wendy Davis who refuse to stand down just because it's a difficult battle and an unpopular opinion. It made me proud to be a woman from Texas.

This photo is of the sign I saw on Congress Ave just two blocks down from the Texas Capitol last Saturday. Need I say more.... Over and out....

Anna

The Killing Fields {Out of the Mouths of Babes}

Why are We so Stupid?

My six year-old loves honeybees and everything to do with them. When I mentioned to him that many were dying or getting sick and weak and explained why this was happening this was his response.

"Don't people know that we need the earth to survive? I mean, it's the only planet we have to live on. So, if we are doing things to destroy our earth, we are basically destroying ourselves. Why do people do things like that?"

Man, I love this kid. He is so witty, so smart and so perceptive on issues so far beyond his 6 years on this earth! And he's right; it's that simple....if we are doing things that destroy our earth and the living, growing, working organisms on our earth, we are destroying ourselves.

The Need for Bees

In the last few years, I have read several articles on our dwindling population of honeybees and the concern over this issue. In the last few months, I have read and seen a continual flow of articles on this topic.

The concern is growing. Some say this may be the worst year on record for honey production, but honey is not the only issue. Honeybees are needed to pollinate over 95 different fruits and vegetables crops, including almonds, berries, avocados, apples, pumpkins and pears, to name just a few.

Since 2006, honeybee numbers have been closely watched, with beekeepers losing approximately 30 % of their bees a year; however, this winter keepers are reporting a 70 to 90 percent loss. This spells trouble for all of us who eat food.

The Killing Fields

So, what is sickening our honeybees? Well, the buzz word, if you'll pardon the pun, is pesticide, and not just any pesticides, but a certain class.

Scientists have linked this Colony Collapse Disorder to neonicotinoids. Included in this class are clothiandin, thiamethoxam, imidicloprid and sulfoxaflor, which are currently under consideration by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).

"Neonicotinoids are applied before planting to coat seeds. The pesticide is then taken up through the vascular system of the plant and expressed through the pollen and nectar, which bees rely on for food," according to Paul Towers of the Pesticide Action Network (PAN). Apparently, these pesticides linger in the soil affecting the next crop, as well.

Consider this, "In the United States, such neonicotinoids are routinely used on more than 100 million acres of corn, wheat, soy and cotton and are in some home gardening products." Thomson Reuters

It's not just bee populations being destroyed; it's also bats, birds, butterflies, beetles and other small mammals. They too, play a large role in pollinating our plants. According, to North American Pollinator Protection Campaign, some species have seen a 90 percent decline in their numbers just in the past decade.

Taking Action

A couple of weeks ago, four professional beekeepers and five environmental and consumer groups filed a lawsuit in federal court against the EPA. In the lawsuit, the groups claim , "the U.S. environmental regulators are failing to protect honeybees and their role in pollinating important food crops, and should immediately suspend use of some toxic insecticides tied to the widespread deaths of the bees." science.ncbnews.com

"Despite our best efforts to warn the agency about the problems posed by neonicotinoids, the EPA continued to ignore the clear warning signs of an ag system in trouble," says Paul Tower of PAN. It's also worth noting that in Europe, the European Commission has proposed a ban on neonicotinoids because the European Food Safety Authority found that there is a high risk to the health of the honeybees when this class of pesticide is used.

The Scoop

We all eat food. If our crops fail here and/or abroad because there are no honeybees to pollinate them, then prices go up, food is scarce and we are all adversely affected.

There is an ever mounting pile of crap that leads to companies like Monsanto, Syngenta and Bayer and other companies manufacturing pesticides and manipulating seeds and plants. Believe it or not, it was just a few years ago that such pesticides from the neonicotinoids class began being used widespread to grow stronger, disease/pest resistant crops. Unfortunately, this was done at the expense of health of humans and animals. I believe we are only starting to see the repercussions of the use of such strong and harmful chemicals.

So, why should we care about this issue? Because it matters to all of us; that is, all of us who eat food. More to come on this and other food issues. Over and out...

Anna

Leaving Children Behind....in the Lunch Room

Feed Their Minds and Bodies

Here's what I think...All children, no matter race, creed, national origin, address, tax bracket or any other factor should have food to eat. No child should be left behind without a meal to eat at school.

Going hungry teaches desperation, heartbreak, bitterness and misunderstanding. Providing school lunches does not teach laziness, greed or a sense of entitlement; they are not handouts. Food is a basic necessity of life.

Children who are fed learn better, listen better and are happier, more focused and participate in class. Children who go hungry are cranky, listless, tired and poor students.

I'm not a dietician, a physician, a psychologist or a social worker. I'm a mom. This is common sense. Kids should have enough food to eat in the "greatest country in the world."

The Politics of Feeding Kids

Politics should not figure into this issue. Unfortunately, it has to if there is to be money to feed kids who do not have food at home to bring to school for lunch, and who more than likely will go without breakfast and snacks too.

Yes, there are programs for free and subsidized lunches, but there are limits regarding who is eligible for those programs. And in our economically depressed country, often the working poor are suffering greatly in reality, but on paper it appears that they are making the ends meet and therefore, do not qualify for these school lunch programs. Or perhaps these kids qualify for the reduced cost lunch program, but even that is just too much for the family. Or maybe there are language or cultural barriers or misunderstandings or miscommunications that cause kids who would qualify for these programs to never become enrolled and end up going without.

Turning Kids Away

Regardless of the situation of why kids are going hungry at school, the point is it is happening. According to a Star Tribune article, Legal Aid along with four Minneapolis law firms conducted a survey of the 182 school districts in Minnesota regarding school lunch policies and here is some of what they found:

"30 Minnesota school districts have some form of 'turn-away' policy, ranging from allowing the child a limited number of hot meals before stopping, to turning even the youngest grade-schoolers away immediately.

Seven districts stamp children's hands as a deterrent to nonpayment. One district issues a 'red card' after four unpaid lunches, while another issues 'purple tickets' for nonpayers.

One district brings a child into the kitchen where the hot lunch is taken away and exchanged for a bag lunch. Another takes the lunch tray away at the end of the line.

Diplomas are being withheld from some nonpaying high school seniors. Bill collectors are going after some of their parents."

According to a MPR article, about 20% of the school districts in MN have some form of turn-away policy.

The Star Tribune reports that Minneapolis, Anoka-Hennepin, Delano, Robbinsdale and Brainerd do provide hot lunches to their students whether the kids have the money to cover the cost or not while St. Paul offers a sandwich to non-paying kids.

Footing the Bill

There are bills moving through the Minnesota legislature that would expand the budget for free school lunches. According to the MPR article, Minnesota currently provides about 250,000 free lunches per school year. Advocates of this bill would like to increase that number by about 62,000.

This is not the first time such a bill has been introduced, but Jessica Webster of Legal Aid, who has been instrumental in putting together this information, getting the word out and gaining support for this issue, is more optimistic with the increased backing by key people.

Part of the problem is that school district budgets are already strapped. Where will the funds come from for these extra meals? Funding is a major concern for many school administrators and yet children going through the school days without enough food in their bellies should be equally vital concern for these administrators.

The Scoop

Sen. Sean Nienow, ranking minority member on the Senate Education Finance Committee, was quoted in MPR article as saying, "That may be tight, but most of those families probably can pitch in."

While this may be the case some of the time, with some of the families, he who has never been in such a situation does not know how very tight it can be on some days, some weeks or some months! When a parent must decide whether to pay the mortgage/rent or the electricity/gas or buy groceries or buy gas to be able to get to work and there is no wiggle room, that's a difficult, gut-wrenching, heartbreaking decision. We must be able to walk in another's shoes and see how the world looks when it's very dim with nowhere to turn in the immediate future.

And we must take care of our children; the children who will grow up and build and govern and create and have families and teach and guide and take care of each other. We focus on "no child left behind" and work to be sure that each child learns the basics of reading, writing and arithmetic, but what about the basic necessities of being fed enough food and being nourished, body and soul.

I have contacted my school district's superintendant to inquire about the policies in my district. I hope you will do the same. Fortunately, there are some angel donors, teachers, principals, lunch room staff, etc. who take matters into their own hands, regardless of what school policy is and reach out to the children without and provide them with sustenance. And to those kind and generous souls I say thank you. But this is not enough. Minnesota, you can do better! Over and out...

Anna

 

Random Tidbits {Food; What’s Fit to Eat?}

I love to eat. I love to eat really good food. I love to cook food in. I love to get food out. I read labels. I read articles. And lately, everywhere I look I see issues with food; food full chemicals; food genetically modified; dirty food; mislabeled food; food with hidden additives, preservatives and ingredients; food that could make you sick.

Is it that hard to nourish a body without ingesting something harmful? The simple answer appears to be yes.

It's almost enough to make one move to the wilderness, live off the grid and produce all of one's own food. Almost.

It just shouldn't be this difficult to eat healthy, fresh, clean, nutritious food.

In the last few weeks, I have been collecting articles involving food issues. Here are a few of them:

1. Your Reusable Grocery Bags Could be Harboring Bacteria! A number of cities are going "green" by banning all plastic and paper bags at stores via city ordinances. The consumers are to supply their own reusable bags instead. An admirable move it would seem, but a recent study by the American Chemistry Council shows that the reusable bags often left in hot cars and rarely washed are harboring a multitude of bacteria, including E. coli. Fortunately, more than likely this won't make you sick according to at least one report. Washing them isn't a bad idea though.
2. Shrimp Fed on Pig Poop! Now that's appetizing. About a third of our seafood is coming from China and the surrounding areas. Pig, human and goose feces is often used to feed the shrimp and tilapia, etc., the tap water used to make ice to put on the seafood is contaminated and the conditions of the farms producing the fish and shellfish are downright disgusting and dangerous to our health. Only a small percentage is inspected, and much of what is inspected is rejected.
3. Looks Like Tuna, Sold as Tuna, Often Not Tuna. The Los Angeles Times reports Oceana found in its study that nearly 60% of tuna sold to consumers, at both restaurants and grocery stores, is not tuna. In fact, most of the mislabeled tuna was the extremely oily fish escolar, which can cause explosive diarrhea. Of course, this issue is not exclusive to tuna, mislabeling is quite common with many fish.
4. Aspartame a Part of Milk? The National Milk Producers Federation has asked FDA to change the definition of milk. They wish to have artificial sweeteners, such as aspartame and sucralose included in the definition of milk. This way they can sneak these ingredients in without having to list them.

Many of these issues involve the food industry powers that be trying to pull the wool over the eyes of the consumers so they can sell more and make more money. I like to think that we, as consumers, are savvier than ever and are more conscious of what we are putting into our mouths, but then again, I'm not so sure that enough of the consumers are paying attention to these issues to force the hand of those producers and brokers and growers and marketers to make a difference...yet. Over and out...

Anna

Random Tidbits: On a Rampage {Strong Opinions}

New Rules

I've been juggling a lot with work lately, which means that everything else suffers. So, I've decided to make some rules for myself, and I'm really trying to stick with it.

I'm setting weekly office hours. We're holding weekly family meetings with an agenda, a white board and an Angry Bird (that's a whole other post...stay tuned). I'm standing firm on what I can and cannot add to my overly stuffed schedule...and refusing to feel guilty about saying "No" when I need to.

Unfortunately, one of the things that has taken a backseat to being a priority lately has been writing. So, I'm trying this Random Bits style again...cuz you know I have things to say, but just not much time to get them said!

Bits and Pieces

1. Y'all know how I feel about using your phone and driving, right?! If you don't then read this: I Hit A Child with My Car and all the other Distracted Driving posts I've written. Well, my friend, Trina, a dedicated Phone Down, Eyes Up driver sent me this photo that her friend sent to her. I love it! And there's a lot of truth in this statement...believe it.
   
2. In DC, a Councilmember has introduced a bill to curb cheating. If passed, it would make facilitating cheating on standardized tests illegal. Now I'm certainly against cheating, but what troubles me is that there has to be such laws in place to prevent school personnel from tampering with tests.

   Shouldn't this be a given to teachers and administrators? Perhaps, the better answer is to take a look at why there is such a need to "fix" standardized tests in this district and examine the education resources and funding.

3. Apparently there is overcrowding at the Metro Louisville jail in Kentucky. The solution? Well, USA Today reports that "tech-savvy professionals will use technology and data to study the overcrowding," of course. The pros will be trying to find some possible solutions.

   News Flash! I've got a solution. Use that money to study how to get kids off the streets, keep them safe, educate them, and get them out of the cycle of committing crimes-jail-committing crimes-jail that many of their older siblings, parents, aunts and uncles and friends are in instead of employing "tech-savvy professionals." This is not an engineering/spatial problem; this is societal issue, a human interest story that could have happy ending.

4. Lastly, the total cost of the 2012 elections, from federal to state to local offices, was...hold on to your boots, friends... $7.3 BILLION (according to Politico.com)! WHAT A WASTE! Don't get me started on what that could have been spent on. This amount of money could have made a huge impact on many of the very causes and issues and institutions and families addressed by the candidates running for office. So many could have been greatly benefitted by even a fraction of this money being spent in a positive way. Here are more of my thoughts on the subject of political campaign spending.

The Scoop

Hmmm, it turns out I'm full of opinions this Monday morning. Well, there you have it. Over and out...

Anna

Sticky Messes: Good Guys v. Bad Guys {Biggest Gun Wins}

Cleaning up Messes

My kids are really good at making huge messes. They don't mean to; they're just busy playing, creating some playscape or making confetti or trying to help by pouring their own juice or milk.

The result is something sticky covering the floor, splattered on the counter and cabinets and inevitably on the boys themselves, bits of paper everywhere, pillows, blankets and stuffed animals scattered throughout the house, draping over this or that, pulling down lamps and picture frames.

I know I should make them clean up these disaster zones, but I know from experience generally their version of cleaning up a mess only results in bigger messes that make me a steaming, angry, stressed out mom; which is another type of mess altogether.

So, I banish them from the desecrated area, and I clean up the mess. They do have to clean up toys scattered about; it's just these sticky, dirty, destructive messes that I take over.

Yes, I know. You're shaking your head and thinking. "That's the way to spoil them and make them think they can get away with anything."

Perhaps, but it keeps me sane, and avoids the chance of a headline like this, "Mom loses mind, runs screaming from home, never to be heard from again after sons attempt to clean up spilled apple juice with down comforter, only to rip seam and allow all the feathers to float through house, adhering to all sticky surfaces covered in apple juice, including the boys and a giant dog."

Sometimes it's just better to step in and take control of a smaller, still fixable mess before it becomes a giant, sticky, slippery slope heading straight down the tubes.

Guns in Schools

A few days before Christmas I happened to see a newspaper headline, "NRA leader urges armed guards in every U.S. school." Surely not.

I read more. "The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun," says NRA executive vice president, Wayne LaPierre. Hmmmm.

While I agree that gunmen on rampages who seem to all too often end up in schools of some level is a definite problem, I don't agree that throwing more guns into the mix is the answer.

The NRA's current plan is like standing to the side and watching my sons spill a gallon of apple juice all over the counter, the floor, the cabinets and themselves as they attempt to pour a small amount into a child-sized cup, then letting them clean it up with the socks on their feet and whatever else they can find to sop of the sticky liquid, leaving the residue behind to collect hair and dust and dirt, turning the whole thing into a filthy mess.

That doesn't solve or teach anything.

I realize that there are a number of schools in large cities that already have trained armed guards/off-duty police officers patrolling the halls, approximately one-third of public schools or 23,000 schools to be precise. I acknowledge this is necessary to keep the students in those schools safe, but I do not find this statistic to be an acceptable standard for schools.

Good Guys v. Bad Guys

This figure alone speaks volumes about the state of our country and the culture we live in. It saddens me to no end. But this proposed "solution" from the NRA enrages my faculties, breaks my heart and frightens me.

More guns, especially guns of the caliber and capacity that match those that the "bad guys" have access to do not belong in our schools. What lesson does this teach? The "bad guys" have big guns; well, the "good guys" will just get bigger guns.

Where does it end? Why stop at schools? How about movie theaters, churches, all government buildings, federal, state and city, malls, parks, the grocery store, libraries, parking garages, and every other public building? Perhaps it should be mandatory that every household owns an assault rifle. That ought to stop the "bad guys."

Of course, if we're all running around with guns all the time, that might make it difficult to tell the "bad guys" from the "good guys." Then what would the NRA propose?

Better Laws

I don't have all the answers, but I feel certain that adding more high powered weapons to our warped society is NOT the answer.

I am not advocating for all guns to be ripped from lawful gun owners' tight grasp. But I do support bans on assault rifles and high-capacity ammunition clips; weapons that belong only on a battlefield, if anywhere at all; weapons that can wipe out a great number of people in a few short seconds; weapons capable of ripping gaping holes in bodies and exploding through flesh and vital organs.

Weapons of this nature go far beyond hunting and "protecting" your home and family. If you oppose this type of ban, please explain to me the need for such devastating weapons.

Of course, bans are not the only aspects to be considered. Historically, horrible killing sprees that have taken place in schools, malls, churches, offices and theaters are carried out by people who have a mental illness of some sort. Therefore, mental illnesses, detection and treatment are also issues to be considered.

The Scoop

Call me naïve, but I don't want to live in a world where "the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun." And I just don't think we have to live in such a world...if we wake up and proactively start dealing with this issue.

The current gun laws are not adequate. We don't necessarily need more laws, but better laws. I challenge our lawmakers to disregard the powerful, $12-billion-dollar-a-year gun industry and its puppet, the NRA and find a way that protects our citizens' safety and rights. Over and out...

Anna

A Pledge....for the Unity of Our Nation; Overcoming the Great Divide

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

The election is over; the results mean joy and relief for some and frustration and concern for others. Regardless of where you fall on this wildly swinging pendulum of emotions and viewpoints, our nation is still one nation.

However, in my Facebook stream and in the various news reports the hatred, the misunderstanding, the ranting and the tirades and the closeness of the popular vote, reveal the deep and vast divide within our country.

And this is weighing on my shoulders.

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Why should I care? What does it matter?

There was once an issue that deeply divided our country. The hate grew and grew and divided families and friends and a nation; it filled fields with blood; it burned cities; it destroyed lives; and in the end freedom prevailed.

Could there ever be an issue that divided our strong, enduring country again; an issue that brought our government to the brink of civil war again; that threatened to destroy life as we know it? I hope not, but this level of divisiveness after an election of our local, state and national leaders is worrisome.

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Liberal and conservative; young and old; white, black, yellow, brown and purple; single and married; Christian, Jewish, Buddhist and atheist; accountant, nurse, teacher, business owner, farmer, lawyer and mechanic; we still pledge our allegiance to the same flag; to our one nation under God; together as one; because we care about our rights and the rights of our neighbors in the house next to ours and those in other states; and we believe our system of weights and balances won't fail us.

I believe we, as Americans, truly want to do the right thing by helping those in need and paying our fare share of taxes and being good citizens and working for our good and the good of all the people. I STILL believe in our government, in our laws, in our leaders and in our people, regardless of all the issues that divide us at the polls and in our daily lives.

Call me naïve, call me bleeding heart liberal, call me silly and stupid, but I will still believe and I will pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all...because I am STEADFAST and I am ETERNALLY OPTIMISTIC and I have the FAITH of a mustard seed.

Will you join me in this pledge? Will you continue to believe in our great country? Over and out...

Anna

Love: This Little Light of Mine, I’m Gonna Let it Shine

LOVE

True LOVE

Real LOVE

Deep as an Ocean

All encompassing

Love does not conform; Love won't be stopped by laws

LOVE does not Discriminate; LOVE understands; LOVE Forgives

LOVE Survives

Love Heals

Love Saves

God is

LOVE

As we near this year's very heated, passionate election day, please take a moment to remember to Love your neighbors, your friends, your family regardless of what they believe or advocate for or who they vote for or whose signs are firmly planted in their yards.

Love is the most important thing we have. Live by example; let your love be a roaring fire that shines out for the world to see; don't hide it under a bushel. Love is not shameful. Over and out...

Anna

Vote Smart: Get the 411 Before You Go to the Polls

Campaign Season

Vote No; Vote Yes; Vote this; Vote that. It can get confusing with all the yard signs, Facebook posts and ads online and on TV and radio. To me, the most important thing is that people do vote, regardless of how they vote.

At this time of year, everyone complains about some particular candidate or a whole party's views; and everyone becomes a political expert full of world-changing opinions, but they do vote and where are they getting their information?

Voter ID

There are those who complain and rant and say how they would do it, but aren't even registered to vote and don't intend to ever set foot in a voting booth. To those people, I say that every vote can make a difference, but if they refuse to vote, then hold your tongues because you don't get an opinion involving candidates, policies or parties.

To those who do vote and do it quietly without sounding great bugles announcing who and why and wherefore, I admire you; for politics is a personal business, in my opinion. Now, that isn't to say that these people can't firmly stand up for what they believe is right by volunteering to aid a candidate's campaign or taking a firm position if asked about a particular issue or candidate. These people do these things, but not with great fanfare.

Then, there are those who must tell every friend on Facebook, every neighbor, co-worker, family member and even strangers their strong political beliefs. These people often push their views on others and seem to want to offend others in order to start a debate; the more public the better for these people. Generally, it's these people that need a stage for every aspect of life though, not just during the politically charged months of the year. These people I don't understand, and I try to avoid them at all costs. But they do vote, and for that, I respect them.

Hitting Home with the Voter

Sometimes, politics hits home and can affect families. For instance, many voters across the country will consider measures that deal with the definition of marriage, school referendums, taxes, etc .

Yesterday, I got an email from a group that supports the Minnesota Zoo, encouraging its members to be sure to ask their candidates if they support the Zoo, considering that a very small, but vital part of their budget comes from the state's budget. I have never considered the Zoo when I vote, but I will this year thanks to the email.

Voter Education

So, if you are going to vote, and I sincerely hope you do vote, then you do need to be sure you understand the issues and what each of your candidates stand for in this race; one way or another the winner of these races will impact your life.

For unbiased, unabashed candidate info go to Project Vote Smart. This non-profit, non-partisan organization gives you the information you need about each candidate and ballot measure in your voting precinct.

If your head is spinning from all the speeches, debates and ads, and you just want the facts, please, then go to FactCheck.org. This non-profit group is busy fact-checking and debunking ads, speeches, quotes, articles, etc. so that you can sleep easy and be clear about the issues and the candidates spinning them before you vote.

And if you just need to know exactly how your candidates stand on the issues and will most likely vote while in office/support as a local/state/federal official, then check On the Issues. Here you will find very succinct listings of where your guy or gal sits on a long list of important issues.

The Scoop

During the next month or so, there will be no escaping politics. It has invaded yards, voicemails, radio, TV, billboards, magazines, newspapers and stores...even children's stores. This photo was taken in a Toys R Us. You can try to maneuver the claw to grab and win a Mitt Romney doll or Barack Obama pillow head. I bet all the kids try for those over the veggie heads, angry birds and teddy bears. Over and out...

Anna

Eats, Shoots and Leaves or Eats Shoots and Leaves? {That’s the Debate}

Whose Right to Bear Arms?

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

That is the 2^nd Amendment of the United States Constitution, as passed by Congress in late 1791.

It was a different time back then. I don't think anyone can argue with that. But that's about all we, as a country, can agree on when it comes to this 27 word sentence.

On Monday, there was another tragic shooting; this one in College Station, Texas. There were 2 people killed and several injured by a disgruntled home owner, as a city constable attempted to serve an eviction notice.

In our world of violence, it would be easy to pass this tragedy off and say, "well, it was only two people….this time." But to those two persons' friends and families, this is the worst news story they have ever heard.

Just a little over a week ago, a man went to a Sikh Temple during Sunday morning worship and opened fire, killing 6 people.

And less than a month ago, a man went into a dark movie theater and killed 12 people.

Of course, in each of these instances, there were people injured, as well.

When does this violence end?

The Governor's Rationale

After the College Station shooting, I read a long, rambling quote from Gov. Rick Perry of Texas, in which stated his argument for people's right to own and carry guns. Here is part of that quote,

"And Texas I will suggest to you by and large a majority of them, a large majority of them believe that law abiding men and women should be able to have their weapons and the criminals are never going to listen to the law, they're always gonna have weapons, whatever source they want, whether they're legal or illegal. And I think it's wise for the people of the state of Texas to be able to defend themselves when there is a law breaker that comes into their midst with a weapon."

I'll concede Perry two points: 1) He's probably right that most Texans feel this way; and 2) criminals are always going to find a way to get a weapon, and they don't care what the laws say.

But I think his reasoning is flawed.

Law Abiding Mass Murderers

If you think back over the years of all the terrible, senseless shootings in our country, you will find that most of these ruthless, selfish murderers had obtained their guns and ammunitions lawfully and were not breaking any laws by owning guns as they, themselves, were not lawbreakers until the very day they took multiple lives during their respective rampages.

The shootings are not committed by gang members, assassins, petty crooks or hardened criminals. Most often, these people are quite intelligent, but delusional or mentally unstable and fueled by hate for certain groups of people. Often these types of people are dismissed as quiet loners or quirky characters, but no one would ever have expected this person to do what he eventually does.

These types know how to go about obtaining guns and ammunitions legally; they plot and plan and wait and stock up. They are people who are protected by the 2^nd Amendment as it is interpreted today.

A Militia State?

Secondly, I'd like to point out that in none of these instances that I am aware of was the assailant shot by a regular Joe who just happened along upon a murderous scene and who happened to be packing heat, taking advantage of his 2^nd Amend. right, as the good governor from Texas would argue might happen if we are allowed to possess and carry guns.

Along that same line, I'm a bit confused by Perry's statement: "And I think it's wise for the people of the state of Texas to be able to defend themselves when there is a law breaker that comes into their midst with a weapon."

Is Perry suggesting that Texas is a militia state? A state where a body of citizens is armed and trained by the state that can take law enforcement into its own hands? Surely not.

Stand Your Ground

Of course things didn't quite work out this way for George Zimmerman of FL when he lawfully owned and carried a gun for protection in a neighborhood that had been repeatedly struck by thieves and home invasions. Zimmerman acted as Captain of the Neighborhood Watch and claims he acted in self defense under Florida's Stand Your Ground Law the night he shot and killed an unarmed young man. And yet, he is now standing trial for his actions.

Stand Your Ground laws do indeed protect those who "use force in self-defense when there is reasonable belief of a threat, without an obligation to retreat first." Under these laws, a person could even use deadly force without a duty to retreat, in some cases; and in those cases, these laws would be considered a defense or immunity against criminal charges or civil suits.

However, clearly sometimes a person might make a mistake about when he could legally use his gun and when he is breaking the law himself.

My point is that do we really want people carrying guns everywhere they go and making a split second decision whether what they think they are seeing is really what's going on? I think not, but I know this sentiment is not agreed upon across the board.

The Scoop

The problem is all in the way it was written and passed out to the states and eventually ratified by those states. It's only slightly different than the original version passed by Congress; but the difference is enough to make interpretation a bit dicey.

Here is the way the states' version is written and was subsequently ratified as:

"A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."

Do you see the difference? It may appear subtle, but it makes a big difference. In fact, it's why there is such a debate over exactly what the right was intended to protect. If only there had been copying machines in 1791.

And lastly, when the 2^nd Amendment was written and passed, guns that could fire off hundreds of explosive rounds in a matter of minutes couldn't even be imagined, much less a machine that would make exact duplications of a piece of legislation. Over and out…

Anna

On Fried Chicken and Casting Stones

Framing the Issue

This has NOTHING to do with fried chicken.

I have been mulling this over in my mind for a long time trying to find the right words to address this topic.

When we go to the polls in November, the voters in my state will be asked to make a number of important decisions. One of those questions regards an amendment to our state constitution concerning the definition of marriage within MN.

This topic has gripped our nation in recent months based on various ballot questions, the presidential election and the prospect of court rulings from the highest courts in the country in the coming year or two.

What am I talking about? Well, if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm referring to same-sex marriage. For the record, I am a heterosexual female and I'm married to a heterosexual male, but this debate coursing through our country has me steaming. So, why do I care?

For me, there are multiple layers to this issue.

Fueled by Fear

I don't generally argue about religious issues here on Motherly Law, but for me this discussion has absolutely nothing to do with religion. For me, this is a legal issue, just like other laws that regulate who can and cannot marry, when, where and why.

However, for some people this is a religious issue. What I can't figure out is where in the world these people got the idea that God would want them to use His name in this hateful, fear-based argument against other human beings.

What is clear to me is that this is exactly that: a hateful rant born out of fear and misunderstanding.

I ask you, do you know any same-sex couples? Well, I do, and you know what? They are exactly like "opposite-sex" couples. That's right. They casually chat with each other over a quiet dinner; they argue over whose turn it is to do the dishes or take out the trash or get up with the crying baby; they share inside jokes; they take their kids to the park; they buy groceries; they go to church on Sunday; they live their lives just like any other family in the neighborhood.

Fear of "these people" corrupting our kids and our "family values" is misplaced.

And for the record, I have known a number of "opposite-sex" couples who should have never been allowed to get married; who made a mess of their marriage; who destroyed their families; who certainly stained our idea of "family values"; some of these people are church-going, God-fearing people...for the record.

Historical Instances of Suppressing Rights

From a historical and legal review, I would ask you to think about all the laws that have sought to restrict the rights of other groups of people and have eventually been rectified and those laws amended or overturned in court. Two groups that certainly come to my mind are women and black people.

For far too many years a woman's rights to vote, to hold certain positions, get paid an equal amount for the same work, own property and make decisions concerning her own body were held in check by laws; laws made by white men. And for the record, women's suffrage was considered a religious issue in that fight too; it would ruin "family values" and all...for the record.

Our country felt so strongly about whether white men had the right to control, nay...own other human beings and treat them as property, as the laws referred to slaves, simply because their skin was darker than the men who made the laws, that our divided nation went to war to resolve this issue.

It may have taken hundreds of years, but we have finally reconciled these wrongs. We have finally recognized the rights of all human beings...oh wait. That's right. We are now fighting hard not to allow two adults who love each other the right to get married and raise a family as a married couple with all the rights a married couple has.

From a different legal perspective, many of the laws we have on our books are there to protect people from physical or mental harm, protect their property and be sure that basic human rights are not quashed. Laws are not intended to harm a particular group of people who believe something different than the majority or single out people of a certain creed simple because some of the people in the country don't understand or agree with their beliefs or lifestyle choices.

A legal union between two consenting adults of full mental capacity, regardless of gender, national origin, religion, etc. is a basic right that harms no one, at least in my book. How would you feel if your right to marry your spouse was suddenly in question?

The Scoop

You know, as I ponder this hateful rhetoric, I think that perhaps the real fear is that same-sex couples do act like "traditional" couples. I think the real fear is that "they" raise families like the rest of "us"; "they" are just like "us" when it comes to spousal duties, in-laws, career aspirations, planning the summer vacation, etc. And if "they" are like "us" then what? I think this elicits fear of the unknown for some people.

I would liken this fear to the uncomfortable, uneasy feelings that predominated white families as minority families began moving into "their" neighborhoods years ago. While most neighborhoods and communities are quite multi-cultural now and that fear has greatly subsided, the original prejudice was based on ignorance and misunderstanding of each other's cultures and values.

If we could all be loving, peaceful and kind to one another, as the Bible teaches us, then we would get along, learn from each other and live happily ever after. While that is clearly not possible, at least not yet, I suggest that we all follow the advice of Jesus found in John 8:7 when Jesus said,

If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone...

This was in reference to a woman who had been caught committing adultery; a crime punishable by stoning. And in case you don't know the rest of the story, not one of the men present cast a stone at her or condemned her, especially not Jesus.

The point is, we have all sinned in various ways, and it's not for us to judge each other's actions and decisions and determine what's a sin and what's not and how each sin ranks on a scale 1-10.

This has NOTHING to do with fried chicken. We're talking about people, just like you and me.

And for the record, this is my opinon; a view I have a right to express thanks to our Constitution. What's your opinion? Over and out...

Anna

For more about this topic from me, please read: There's a Storm a Brewin' in Minnesota: NOH8MN

A Holy War: When Women’s Health Care Becomes Collateral Damage

Narrow-Minded Fools

There are a few things that make my blood boil; one being the stupidity of narrow-minded buffoons. Many such people also go by the title Senator, Representative, Governor or Presidential Candidate and associate themselves with the Republican Party. In this instance, I am specifically referring to the stupidity of such buffoons who hail from the Great State of Texas; my home state, I'm sorry to say.

This issue should not be politically motivated; it is. This issue certainly should not be religiously motivated; it most certainly is. This issue should be about health and humanity; sadly, it is not.

Perhaps I've missed something, but the last time I checked abortions were still legal. And yet, in Texas and other states run by narrow-minded fools, medical clinics serving women, most of which are not performing abortions, are losing funding by the millions and being forced to close all in the name of "Pro-Life."

Guilty By Association

A great number of these clinics are Planned Parenthood. These clinics screen for breast cancer and cervical cancer, perform pap smears, counsel adolescents about abstinence and provide infertility guidance, prescribe free birth control pills, and other routine care; they do not perform abortions. In Texas, clinics that perform abortions are already barred from collecting government funding.

The decision to take away funding is based purely on the fact that the conservative base is so obsessed with abortions. So, the right wing politicians continue to focus on ways to block women from access to an abortion, even if it means leaving hundreds of thousands of women without medical care for health-related issues that have nothing to do with abortions; and regardless of the fact that abortions are still legal procedures.

In a New York Times article, Wayne Christian, a Republican state representative for District 9 in East Texas, is quoted as saying, "I don't think anybody is against providing health care for women. What we're opposed to are abortions...Planned Parenthood is the main organization that does abortions. So we kind of blend being anti-abortion with being anti-Planned Parenthood."

In essence, what Mr. Christian is saying is that because they are waging a moral war against abortions, clinics closing and thousands of women being left without medical care is just collateral damage that can't be helped.

We aren't talking about a non-profit, pro-life organization taking aim at clinics or organizations that perform abortions; we're talking about elected officials of the Texas State Legislature. But I guess this most recent move shouldn't be surprising.

Since the historic 1973 Texas case of Roe v. Wade made abortion legal, the Texas legislature has passed a number of laws regarding abortions in order to make it as difficult as possible to obtain this legal procedure. But now they are trying to hit clinics that serve low-income residents where it hurts most; their budgets.

Losing Federal Funding

On Friday, the U.S. Health and Human Services Sec. Kathleen Sebelius announced that the Texas law cutting off funding to Planned Parenthood because some of the clinics in that network perform abortions violates federal Medicaid regulations that require women to be allowed to choose where they go for health care. Sec. Sebelius noted that Texas had been warned of the repercussions of passing this law and enforcing it. The law goes into effect this week and the federal funding for the Women's Health Program will now be withheld from Texas based on this law.

At this time, the federal government pays 90% of the cost of this Medicaid-financed program in Texas that aids about 130,000 women. Gov. Perry's office issued a statement saying that the state will somehow cover the amount lost by the federal government to enable women to get care, but was not specific about which clinics or type of care would qualify for such funding.

If the conservative base has it their way, it's going to get worse for these clinics that largely rely on government funding to serve underprivileged women. Republicans across the country are targeting Title X.

Title X is where most of the federal funding for family planning comes from. These funds provide cervical and breast cancer screening, testing for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases, adolescent abstinence counseling, infertility counseling and other services. Title X does not fund abortions and only a small part of it covers birth control costs.

Of the $300 million Title X budget, Planned Parenthood gets about a quarter of it. The remaining three-quarters of it goes to clinics, community health centers, hospitals and state agencies across the country. If Title X is done away with, it will mean more closings of clinics that help women who have few resources for health care.

Abortion Statistics

All of this in the name of eliminating abortions because some perceive it to be a moral wrong that should be policed by the government.

It's worth mentioning that over the years, the number of abortions across the nation have been decreasing for years, including those in Texas. It's also worth noting that according to the Center for Disease Control's reports, the highest percentage of reported abortions were performed on white women under 25.

In Texas, the median age of women getting abortions is 22 with 34.2% of the total number of women between 15-44 having abortions in Texas being white women and 36.3% being Hispanic, according to a report from 2006.

The Scoop

Let me clarify that I am not in favor of abortions; I know no one who is. What I am in favor of is the right for each person to decide for himself or herself what is the best path to take based on the medical options available and one's personal set of beliefs and circumstances.

I also want to be clear that I am a Christian, and I live my life based on Biblical principles and prayer, but I am also open-minded, a free thinker; some might say liberal in my thinking. This means I view the whole picture, not a small, fractured piece of the picture before making a decision.

Where the elected Texas officials have erred is allowing their personal and religious beliefs to interfere with simply aiding people who need help. In the name of Christianity and righteousness, the leaders in Texas are leaving vulnerable women exposed and without medical care.

To those who will not and cannot separate church from state, I leave you with this question to ponder: What Would Jesus Do?

I know the answer to this question. Jesus neither feared nor despised the poor, the wretched, the criminals, the misguided or the despicable; instead Jesus helped and loved all people of all backgrounds and social classes; even politicians.

I apologize if any conservative toes were stepped on, but this is my opinion and my platform for presenting my opinion. Over and out...

Anna

Pulling Permits: Doing it Right if You’re DIY

Design Choices

We stood for what seemed like hours looking at the choices. There were various sizes, designs and materials to choose from. I knew what I wanted, but still once we got it and began cutting that was it. Will didn't quite see my vision and was concerned about the cuts.

We did finally choose base boards for our dining room. Then began the process of measuring, cutting, fitting, re-cutting and fitting again, painting, etc. It was a long process. We got better at cutting trim for corners, but this was our first experience, and of course, we went big with it.

It's about twice the height of most trim and I think it makes the room. I love the way it turned out. It was a labor of love, as was picking out the paint colors for each room of the house, changing the light fixtures out to match our style and breathing new life into an old, dark breezeway. That's the beauty of doing it yourself.

Doing-It-Yourself

We're generally do-it-yourself kind of folks. And that isn't because we're experts in home repair/remodeling, it's because I think we're industrious and resourceful enough {notice the stress on I. I always have to convince Will of this fact}; and we don't have the extra money to spend for someone else to do the work. That is, until it goes beyond our "expertise."

There are a few things we don't mess with. We have hired real experts to put in new windows, repair the heating and air systems and we do call the plumber when the problem is beyond our limited knowledge.

And yet, I am pretty proud of the work we've done in our house; mostly painting, adding trim and putting in new flooring and other things of that nature. Of course, this was all accomplished pre-kids and the house is now in sore need of a refreshing coat. We did take the first step and have sanded our doors and trim in an attempt to propel ourselves into this project, although that is the extent of the second round of the house re-do, so far.

We'll get around to it again....eventually.

We aren't alone in the DIY camp. As the economy crunches down on Middle America many homeowners opt to remodel instead of sell and buy again. A simple or complex re-do or new-do to your home can increase the worth of your home when you do sell or can make you, the homeowner, more content when it comes to living in this space that has either become a tight space for your family or just deteriorated with your day-to-day living.

Permits

But do you know when you should "pull a permit"? And do you realize that not knowing this could land you in a heap of trouble? Yep, you could end up owing a ton in fines or even wind up in court over failing to get permits for certain construction/remodel jobs in your home.

The good news is that it's simple to stay on the right side of the law. Here's what you need to know:

What Projects Require a Permit?

1. It's always a good idea to check with your municipality, but generally projects that involve structural changes, demolition, electrical or plumbing changes, etc. require a permit.
2. Often, large projects like a kitchen remodel and the like require more than 1 permit for the whole project.

Why Bother Getting a Permit?

1. If you don't get a permit and you get caught, you could pay a large fine; which will cost you much more than the original permit would have cost.
2. If you didn't get a permit/have an inspection {and should have} and later have a need to file an insurance claim regarding that work, they may not pay the claim.
3. Failure to get permits may even risk insurance coverage/rates.
4. You may have trouble with an inspection when/if you try to sell your home.

When Should the Permit be Obtained?

1. The first thing to do, before beginning the project, is to obtain a permit.
2. If a contractor is performing the work, it's probably best to have the contractor pull the permit; some cities even require that.
3. Be sure to properly display the permit while the work is being performed.
4. If work is started without a permit and the city notices this, all work will be halted until a permit is obtained, and a fine will be assessed.

The best rule of thumb? When in doubt, always check. In this case, it's better safe than sorry. Knowing this information and following the law will save you time and money down the road, especially if the work is not up to code when an inspector comes through when you're trying to sell.

In the Name of Safety

The purpose behind requiring permits is safety. If you have a permit, the work must be inspected by a city official when completed in order to close the permit. This requirement insures that the work was done correctly and is up to Code. If it wasn't, it can be fixed right away before causing damage, which could potentially harm the inhabitants of the home and perhaps even neighbors, etc.

The Scoop

If you choose to ignore your local government's code, you will be breaking the law; and in the end your project will cost you much more than you anticipated. It may seem like a hassle to have to "pull permits" and pay the permit fee(s) and have an inspector come, but in the long run, you'll be glad you did. Over and out...

Anna

 

The View from the Passenger’s Seat: Distracted Driving {On a Soapbox}

Dallas Morning Traffic

As we sped along in the Dallas morning traffic, my mom noticed that he seemed to be texting. I was seated directly behind him and couldn't see his phone. She spoke up; prompted by all the information she's absorbed from Motherly Law over the last two years.

She kindly, but firmly explained {our} strict no phone use while driving policy. She told him I'd been on a national panel on distracted driving; I had done research; I'd written articles; and we were serious. He said he wasn't texting. He seemed surprised by our hard line stance. He said he wouldn't use it.

He still answered the phone and then placed a quick call while he drove on the highway. He wasn't even using a hands-free device; not that it matters to me. My rule is NO PHONES while DRIVING...Period. Later, he fussed and fiddled with his GPS mechanism that had stopped working en route to my destination.

I didn't say anything after our first explanation of no phones while driving. All the while I was wrestling with myself as to what to say; what to do. Here I was a passenger in a vehicle where the driver was using his handheld phone, texting or checking email or something that looked like that, messing with his GPS settings, and I felt trapped.

Paying Passenger

Here's the part that really bothered me; I was in a taxi. I was paying this person to drive me. Shouldn't I be able to tell him if I didn't like the way he was driving if he was being reckless or distracted; driving too fast or going out of the way or missing a turn, etc.?

I'm not speaking about legal issues here. Civil and criminal negligence involving a crash and injuries or death are one thing and laws cover those issues. What I'm pondering is while riding as a passenger is it considered rude or overstepping to tell a paid driver whether or not he can use the phone while driving me?

Part of me says absolutely not. I have a right to be safe while in a vehicle regardless of who is driving. In fact, part of me says that I have even more right to tell him how to drive since I'm paying him to drive me. The other part of me doesn't want to anger the stranger driving me by having strict rules regarding his driving habits.

By the by, in the end, I had to use my GPS on my phone to direct him to my destination since his GPS locked up. I felt safer and in control; two things I like.

Federal Government's Crusade

Incidentally, on Thursday the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) proposed guidelines for vehicle manufacturers that would aid in their development of electronic devices and in-vehicle technology; helping to balance what the consumers want with sufficient safety.

These guidelines also suggest disabling a number of the electronic devices available while the vehicle is in motion with exception to passenger devices or those that can't be reached or viewed by the driver, including "visual-manual text messaging, Internet and social media browsing, 10-digit phone dialing, navigation system destination entries by address and displaying more than 30 characters of text unrelated to the driving task."

While these proposed guidelines are voluntary, the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers, a coalition of 12 car and light truck manufacturers, helped craft these guidelines and are not expected to be burdensome to the manufacturers.

If you have an opinion regarding these proposed guidelines published in the Federal Register, the public has 60 days to comment before public hearings are held in D.C., L.A. and Chicago to discuss the proposed guidelines.

U.S. Transportation Sec. LaHood has been on a crusade for the last several years, as have I, to raise awareness to the reckless, needless tragedy of distracted driving. Over 3000 people died in 2010 as a result of distracted driving. President Obama has called for $330 million over 6 years to aid distracted driving awareness programs.

The Scoop

It's my position that while this is an extremely important issue it shouldn't take a single dime to convince drivers to do the right thing; the thing that saves lives; lives that could be theirs or their families' lives. That is, simply put the phone away while driving. Nothing is more important than a life. These are words I have repeated over and over in the last two years, and I stand by them. Words to live {& not die} by: Phone Down, Eyes Up! Enough Said.

Psst! Grab my Phone Down, Eyes Up Button {copy the code under the distracted driving button on the top right column and put it on your blog/website} and check out the links to all my distracted driving posts from the past two years, plus my 2012 Phone Down Eyes Up Challenge. Thanks for your support. Over and out...

Anna

EpiPen Access in Schools: Anaphylactic Emergencies and Common Sense

Food Allergies

While my boys don't have any food allergies that I'm aware of, as a mom, I can understand the fear and anxiety that a parent of a child with food allergies must feel when his or her child is in the care of anyone else. I would imagine going to any public location could be dangerous, especially for those with severe allergies to commonly consumed foods like nuts, eggs and dairy products.

The worry of not knowing if a peanut butter and jelly sandwich had been eaten by the former occupant of a picnic table at the park; if the birthday party your child is attending is serving milk to all the kids; or if all the kids in your child's classroom are aware of the severity of the allergy and the dire consequences if the particular food comes in contact with your child could be all-consuming I would imagine. I would think it would be enough to make a parent obsessed with making sure everyone is aware of these allergies.

A food allergy is not to be taken lightly. A child with a severe food allergy could die very quickly if the allergen has any kind of contact with the child and the child does not have immediate access to epinephrine. This very sad truth has recently been in the news.

Ammaria's Tragic Death

Ammaria Johnson, age 7, died at school on her first day back to school in January after the winter break when a classmate, unaware of her allergy, gave Ammaria a peanut to eat while the girls were out on the playground. Shortly thereafter, after noticing hives and having trouble breathing, Ammaria sought help.

The school clinic didn't have an EpiPen on file for Ammaria. An EpiPen, or an Epinephrine auto-injector, quickly and easily is injected into a person suffering from an anaphylactic emergency, thereby reversing the reaction and saving a life. Instead, Ammaria went into cardiac arrest and died before Epinephrine could be administered to her.

EpiPens

EpiPens are by prescription only. Many kids with allergies keep a prescribed EpiPen with their names on them in the nurse's office at school for such emergencies. However, studies have shown that anaphylactic emergencies at school often occur with no prior knowledge of such an allergy.

However, if a child and/or staff member without a prescribed EpiPen on file with the school nurse's office goes into anaphylactic shock, even if there is an EpiPen available for another child, school personnel cannot administer that life-saving medication due to legal issues. More than likely, there was an EpiPen in the very school clinic where Ammaria died.

This and other such tragedies are too much too bear. When there is a life-saving solution available at one's fingertips, one should have access to it. There should be no "red tape" or threat of lawsuit, criminal prosecution or loss of license stopping anyone from administering this life-giving serum.

School Access to Emergency Epinephrine Act

Last November, a bill that would cut through this red tape and give those in need of an EpiPen at school access regardless of whether there was one on file for that particular child was introduced in the U.S. Senate (S. 1884). And in December, this bill was introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives (HR. 3627). It has now been referred to the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor and Pensions and House Committee on Energy and Commerce.

The School Access to Emergency Epinephrine Act would allow for schools to maintain a stock of EpiPens and administer such injections, just as they do bandages. The stock of EpiPens would not be prescribed to any particular students, but would instead be at the ready for any child and/or staff who experienced an anaphylactic emergency while at school.

This bill does allow for protection of school personnel from liability in administering such emergency injection. However, it's worth noting that if epinephrine is administered without need, a child would merely experience light-headedness, rapid heart rate and nausea, which would last only 15 minutes or so. Epinephrine is dangerous only to children with congenital heart conditions, which should be noted in school records. On the flip side, a child in need of epinephrine can die without it.

The Scoop

While this act is too late to save Ammaria, it could be instrumental in preventing many other deaths in similar circumstances. Ammaria is certainly not the first child to die at school due to anaphylactic shock, and she won't be the last if this common sense bill doesn't become law.

The saddest part of this story is that Ammaria's death was preventable, but we have become too restrained by the threat of punitive actions if protocol is not followed precisely. When a child's life is in danger, all protocol should go out the window.

If you feel strongly about this bill, please email your U.S. senators and representatives. This is a nonpartisan issue we can all support. Over and out...

Anna

The Lockout: Averting Catastrophe with an Emergency Kit & Some Chocolate

The Locked Door

Yesterday in my haste to get out the door with Darling 2 to pick up Darling 1 from school, I grabbed the garage door opener, left from a side door, locked it behind me and walk/ran the two blocks to the school. I needn't have rushed. The dismissal procedure was changed on Monday and then tweaked on Tuesday. What they failed to tell the parents is that the students are now leaving the building later too.

Darling 2 and I stood waiting and waiting until finally Darling 1 emerged from the school doors. We headed back home with plans of a snack and playing and a little Mommy time on the computer. As I hit the button on the garage door opener, I got a sinking feeling. I realized I had locked the door leading from the garage to the house when Darling 2 and I had come home earlier.

I tried the locked door anyway...and all the other doors too, but to no avail. I didn't have any keys for my house or my car. I did have my cell phone. I thought we'll just call Will. He'll come to our rescue.

Left Out in the Cold

Nope. I realized he had several meetings scheduled for the afternoon. That didn't stop me from calling and calling and calling, texting and tweeting him, hoping to catch him in between meeting. But there was no answer; I had the times of his meetings mixed up. The whole time I was trying to contact him his phone was in his computer bag with the ringer off.

Fortunately, it was nice weather and we had access to the outdoor toys in the garage. The boys happily played for the first hour of lockout. Then, the sun started falling lower and it started getting colder. Darling 2 and I hadn't even worn coats to pick up Darling 1. So, we retreated into the car in the garage. The boys rummaged through CDs and maps in the glove box, went through our first aid kit, tried on a few Band-Aids and pretended to drive. Then, we all three sat in the back bench, reclined as far as it would go and read from our stash of books that I keep in the car to occupy the boys.

Chocolate to the Rescue

By then, it has been an hour and a half, the boys were getting hungry. We went through Darling 1's lunch box and backpack and found a package of uneaten granola bars. Then, we hit the jackpot.

We found a large dark chocolate bar that had been accidently left in the car earlier. I had bought a stack of large chocolate bars for my Norwex Launch Party on Sunday. I thought I had smuggled them in without Darling 2 seeing them, but one had been left behind in the car.

Ah, the little bit of dark chocolate that we split lifted our spirits and helped to sustain us until we could be "rescued." And then, finally, after 2 hours of lockout, Will did come to save us {mostly from each other}.

An Emergency Kit

This little "disaster" made me think about resources available to me in a real emergency. As noted, I have a small and mostly forgotten about first aid kit in the car. I also have a tackle box in the linen closet with various bandages, ointments, etc. but that's about it.

I have to admit that I have considered stockpiling water, canned foods, packs of tuna, toilet paper, medicine, dog and cat food and the like in case of a true catastrophic event. My brain is paranoid enough for me to imagine the kind of apocalypse that would necessitate such supplies, but my space and pocket book are limited enough to prevent me from actually putting together such a kit.

The List

With that said, I do think it's a good idea to be prepared for anything, especially with the past year of "killer" weather. Floods, hurricanes, tornados, super power storms or even man created emergencies/calamities. So, maybe you don't have to stock 300 cans of green peas and 120 gallons of water and 45 rolls of toilet paper, but a kit with basics isn't a bad idea.

Several government sites suggest that kits include:

1. Prescription medicines and basic over the counter meds, as well as bandages, disinfectants and other first aid necessities;
2. Water {1 gallon per person per day}
3. Flashlight with extra, new batteries;
4. Blanket/sleeping bag per person;
5. Extra water and pet food for pets;
6. Formula, baby food, diapers, etc if there is an infant in your home;
7. Change of clothes for each person {change out for seasons and sizes};
8. Matches in a water proof container;
9. Wrench/pliers for turning off utilities;
10. Battery operated radio/weather radio with extra, new batteries;
11. Toilet paper, baby wipes, trash bags;
12. Non-perishable foods, enough for three days;
13. Local Maps;
14. Dust masks for each person, duct tape, a whistle and utility knife;
15. Cash
16. Important docs like passports, licenses/I.D., birth certificates, etc.;
17. Books, small toys, games, etc. to keep your child(ren) occupied; and
18. In an actual emergency, have keys, cell phone and chargers at the ready.

Resources

Ready.gov has a list of sensible basic items necessary in the event of a threat or disaster. The CDC has a great article and list on its blog about which items to store at the ready and about making an emergency plan for your family to follow if a catastrophe should strike. If you are in need of a good travel first aid kit, check out this article from the USA Today TravelTips page.

The Scoop

Personally, I would also add Laptop/Tablet and cord and Chocolate {1 or 2 bars per person per day} to the above list, but that's just me. Let's hope that such a kit is never needed, but if it is then we would all be grateful for being paranoid/prepared enough to have put it together. Or perhaps you all have this kind of kit in your basements already? Maybe we're the only ones completely unprepared for a calamity. Over and out...

Anna