Hanging By a Thread

Friday Family FUN! {An At-Home Activity and Meal Schedule}

Most Friday nights you'll find us at home. And I'm not gonna lie – that often means we each retreat to our own corners, but I decided that we should have a Friday fun schedule to do stuff together as a family as we start the weekend.

So, I came up with a mostly at-home  Friday activity and meal schedule. We'll rotate through them and change it up as necessary. These are things we've done in the past just not on any kind of schedule. The same goes for the meal schedule; we'll figure out what works best for each week. After all, I'm not a very rigid schedule keeper.

Friday Night Theme/Activity

1. Movie Night
2. Board Game Night
3. Dress Like Your Favorite (movie star/food/color/animated character/book character/etc)
4. Historic Period Night (time period or historic event)
5. Boys' Game Night – Card games and/or Xbox
6. Out to dinner and bookstore browsing (probably in Uptown so we can end up at Magers and Quinn Booksellers)

Friday Night Meals

1. Make Your Own Pizza
2. Take-Out
3. Smorgasbord
4. Historic Period Night Themed Meal
5. High Tea

I'll stick up a sign-up list for movies and games. Each family member can vote or add preferences. Then, we'll choose based on votes/list.

Pizza: I buy pizza crusts and then I'll have sauce and cheese and toppings like ham and pineapple, sautéed veggies, sardines, turkey pepperoni. Then, each person can add what he or she prefers.

Take-out: We like to get Thai or Vietnamese, generally. I order a variety of dishes and we all share and I hope for enough leftovers for Saturday night dinner.

Smorgasbord: I put out trays of sliced salami and cheeses, nuts, fruits, veggies, crackers, etc. I'll make a big bowl of popcorn (1/2 cup of popping corn and ¼ cup coconut oil) and perhaps I'll make some chocolate chip cookies too.

High Tea: I make a pot of tea and put together a variety of items. I like to make an almond cake or cornmeal orange cake or scones and then some little sandwiches and fruit. Or whatever I pull together from the fridge. The fun thing about a tea and a smorgasbord is that it can really be anything you come up with that you have on hand.

And I'll figure out what to do for Historic Period Night…this one will definitely take more thought and organization.

What do you like to do on Friday night? Over and out…

Anna

Who Are You?....Really…{Psychology in a Quiz)

What type of person are you? What city should you live in? What kind of animal spirit are you? Are you a true child of the 80's? Which super hero are you? Which queen of comedy are you? Are you right brained or left brained or balanced? What color are you? Which Frozen character are you? Which Hogwarts professor are you? Which House of Cards character are you? Which Disney princess are you? Which Star Wars character are you? What type of sandwich are you? Which state are you really from? Which Friends character are you? How many children should you have? What planet are you? What type of career should you have? What type of emoji are you? What grade are you getting in life?

Wait? What? You…Don't…Know? How can you possibly get through each day?

Well, if you're on Facebook at all, you know what I'm talking about. These quizzes have been making their rounds on the social media circuit as of late. The website buzzfeed is behind these personality quizzes that tell us something or nothing or everything about ourselves.

But why are we intrigued by them? Why do we keep sharing them and posting our results?

Well, I'm no psychologist, and I don't know how the answers are configured, but I'm certain these quizzes will not answer any deep, dark questions of life or offer an answer about which path to take. And I doubt anyone is taking these quizzes too seriously. I've taken some of these quizzes just for the fun of it; often the explanation makes sense and affirms something about me; sometimes it's just funny or completely off, but why do we feel inclined to keep clicking on them?

My theory: We like to answer things about ourselves and get our "fortunes" at the end. We like for things to be about us. We like to have affirmations of our strengths and dreams and attitudes. It's the same reason we always read our horoscopes at the end of magazine or in the newspaper; we like to know about ourselves and get a glimpse of the future and maybe, just maybe some of it might be true.

For the record: I'm a boss; I should live in Monaco; I'm an Eagle (I think); I am a true child of the 80's; I am Captain Planet; I am Maya Rudolph; I use both sides of my brain equally; I am yellow; I am Elsa (hmmm, not Anna, after all); I am Professor Snape. I am Remy; I am Princess Aurora; I am Yoda; it turns out I'm a soggy veggie wrap; I'm really from Texas (go figure); I am Monica; apparently I should have 3 children (NOT A CHANCE). Oh, and I made up the one about the planet, but it turns out there is such a quiz, and I am Earth- how about that? I'm a humanitarian and should be a judge. I'm a sarcastic side-eye. I'm getting an A- in life.

Maybe my theory is wrong, but does it really matter? These quizzes are mini time wasters that give us a laugh or affirm our attributes. There's no harm done. Enjoy.

One note: oddly enough, I should have married a pizza. Who knew?

I should also note that Ellen DeGeneres took the Queen of Comedy Quiz, one end result is Ellen, herself, but instead Ellen got Chelsea Handler. And when Ellen had Chelsea on the show and Chelsea took this quiz she got Tina Fey. So, you be the judge of the accuracy. Over and out…

Anna

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Motherly Advice {The Importance of Adventuring}

Sleeping with the Enemy {Kids and PJs}

Signs of the Season {A Spring Break List}

On Sunday, we went on our first "Search for Signs of Spring" stroll of this year; there will be many to follow in the next few weeks and months. We do this every year, starting sometime in March, usually; that time when you start to think that winter will never end and snow will cover the ground forever. We usually start at our local nature center, Woodlake; a bit of woods smack in the middle of the city.

Admittedly, it's a bit early for finding signs of spring here in Minnesota, especially this year, considering the winter we've had, but we use broad definitions and look for anything that tells us winter is coming to a close. And we found a few of those indicators yesterday.

Will and I walked through the packed-snow covered trails while the boys went off-trail and plodded along in the deep snow, looking for animal prints and scat and any signs of spring. They joyfully called to us as they found a deer print or presumed coyote scat or saw a bird high up in the trees, singing its heart out.

There were lots of families out skiing, strolling and snowshoeing through the woods. It was a beautiful day, actually reaching the 40s and yet snow is still quite available for winter sport.

We noted drips of water coming off downed trees that they shimmied up and leapt off of. We saw the happy chickadees singing and flitting from branch to branch high above our heads. We delighted in seeing the sap bags attached to the Maples; this week should be perfect for getting the sap running. We stomped in puddles and slush. And we talked about the mulberries we like to pick and eat in the summer as we walked past those now leafless trees. 

It gave us hope to see these changes in the landscape, and it got me to thinking about Spring Break.

I love Spring Break because it was always such a magical time for me as a kid; a kid who always hated school. And as a kid, the week seemed to last forever!

We never went on any big trips or did anything extravagant, but it was a time to work on projects or play games or read or watch movies and just be. For a person who does not do well with schedules, this week of no scheduled events or times to be somewhere was delightful in and of itself.

Since becoming a mom with kids in school, I still look forward to Spring Break. We love to do things around the house, but the mini adventures out and about are also something to look forward to. So, here is my list of 30 things to do on Spring Break, just in case you are stuck in planning yours. Of course, I don't anticipate doing all of them; after all, that would take scheduling and I simply do not schedule this week.

1. Make Oobleck; my son did this at school and wanted to do it at home too and even drew out the recipe and process for us; seems like a Spring Break kind of thing to do;
2. Make a Peep diorama; anyone can enter the St. Paul Pioneer Press contest;
3. Go to the cheap movies; for us that is Riverview Theater in Minneapolis. We love the feel of this old one screen theater…and you can't beat the price of $2 a ticket.
4. Go to the zoo;
5. Go bowling;
6. Go ice skating; probably indoors for better ice. It's off-season for hockey, but we still have to keep up with skating.
7. Go roller skating; just for a change of pace;
8. Go to the arboretum; and for us that means the Maple Syrup Tours and Pancake Brunch;
9. Paint pictures; not my favorite thing to do with my boys….it can get very messy;
10. Declare a Lego Day and simply build and design with Legos all day;
11. Go to a museum or art center;
12. Have a dance party in your living room; any attire is acceptable;
13. Bake cupcakes for no reason other than it's SPRING BREAK!
14. Declare a book day; take turns reading out loud to each other and then everyone can read his or her book quietly…this way mama can read the book of her choosing too;
15. Go to a Nature Center; look for signs of spring…or maybe summer, depending on where you live;
16. Write a book together and illustrate it; Creative Kidstuff has some great bound blank books and comic books for this activity;
17. Spend the whole day in your jammies watching movies on Netflix or from your own dvd stash…maybe watch all of the Star Wars movies or all the Harry Potter movies; order Jimmy John's for lunch. This one is especially good if the weather is foul.
18. Have a tea party; yes, even if you have boys. I love tea parties and the best part is making the food for it; boys like food, especially if they have a hand in making it;
19. Play ball….soccer, baseball, basketball, football, tennis, golf, whatever….assuming you don't have snow on the ground or have a place to play inside;
20. Have a Family Movie Night and make or order pizza and stay up late watching movies together…no school in the morning…;
21. Play in the remaining snow…assuming there is any left (wishful thinking, folks) and then make a big pot of hot cocoa…not instant…with marshmallows…for the last time this season.
22. Declare it Game Day and play card games and board games all day;
23. Walk to a park and play on the playground; again, assuming there aren't mounds and mounds of snow on the ground…it has to melt sometime, right?
24. Explore a part of town you haven't before; shops, restaurants, activities, etc.;
25. Sign your kid(s) up for a day program offered through the city or school or museum in your area; by this point, the kids {& mom} have probably reached their limits of "family time." Give everyone a break;
26. If close to Easter; dye eggs and stuff plastic ones and do egg hunts inside and/or outside;
27. Go to the dollar store and find some cheap activities/games/toys. Each person gets $4 to spend;
28. Hang out at a coffee shop for a few hours, each person with his or her own electronic device. It gets you out of the house, around other people and you can each have a bit of space while being together; this week is lasting forever;
29. Plan absolutely nothing and see where the week takes you; and
30. If you have done all of these things, start over again with #1…the week won't last forever and the kids grow and will have plans of their own before we know it. So, I will be trying to remember this and soaking up every minute that I can!

Happy Spring Break….whenever yours is! Over and out…

Anna

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Glitterama: Why I Hate My Kids’ Birthday Parties

I hate throwing my kids' birthday parties. It's not the planning or the prep work. I actually enjoy all of that. And I love my kids despite their oblivion to all the work we've put into the simple, understated birthday affair and are intent on wrecking the setup, dipping into the food and creating new messes in the one or two hours before the event begins. But the chaos, the mess, the destruction, the mess, the craziness, the mess is what makes me regret the simple party-at-home idea.

In theory, it always sounds nice. In theory, it's manageable and organized. In theory, I must be crazy. I never learn my lesson either; for a few years I remember and I hold the party "off-campus." Then, I forget and I start to theorize again; and that's when I get into trouble.

Darling 2 couldn't decide on a theme for his 4^th birthday party. He batted around ideas for Ninja Turtles, super heroes, Angry Birds and more. So, I had a big, bright idea; a big, bright, dumb idea. How about we have a costume party and decorate masks? We could have a mish-mash party in celebration of all masked/costumed characters, with a Ninja Turtles cake made by me and super hero plates and napkins, etc.; he loved the idea.

In theory, this sounded good. We plotted and planned together. We raided my basement closet with art supplies, holiday décor and past party provisions. We hit the Dollar Store, Target's Dollar area and Michael's. I had stickers, paper, scissors, glue sticks, tape, popsicle sticks, feathers, flowers, ribbons, glitter glue, rhinestones, markers, crayons, fancy pipe cleaners, pom poms and glitter; yes, glitter.

I was proud of my creative organization and my artful designs. And for a few moments, I must have forgotten that I have two boys and all the reasons that I hate doing art in my home; all the reasons that I paid for art classes when Darling 1 was little.

Now, to be fair with myself, I had originally planned to throw this shindig outside. But Mother Nature had other ideas, and this weekend we had our first freeze, making it a little too chilly for a backyard bash.

So, as I stood back and calmly watched glue and glitter and toys and cake and wrapping paper and packaging litter the floor and cover the tables and spill onto the chairs and creep across the room, it all came back to me.

Like a light bulb above the head of a character in a comic strip; ah yes, these are the reasons I don't have parties at home... especially artful parties at home...involving glitter.

I do this to myself. I almost always make the invitations and cake; and each year their expectations, designs and demands get higher; and if held elsewhere, I cart along cake, supplies, decorations, etc. to the location of the parties, often a park for the July birthday of Darling 1, where there are no amenities provided; and I try to be creative with the food, activities and take homes treats; all making me exhausted and crabby by party time.

Now, it's important to note that the children involved in the merry-making did indeed enjoy themselves during the costume wearing, mask making, toy playing, piñata smashing and cake eating events. And the birthday boy had a wonderful time with his dear friends.

And that puts a smile on my face, even as a wiped cake from the chair cushion and swept up glitter from the floor, sorted toys and re-organized all the art supplies...downstairs...high above the reach of little boys, but still within reach of creative concoctions.

I wonder how long it will be before I forget again why I shouldn't have birthday parties at home. Over and out....

Anna

Rough and Tumble: State Concussion Laws Protecting Young Athletes

My Big Boy

My baby is 3 years old today. It's hard to believe that the last 3 years have gone by so quickly, but it's also hard for many to believe that my little one is only 3 years old. Darling 2 is big, tall, strong, tough, fast, a quick study and charismatic. He's the size of most 4 year olds and some 5 year olds. He's not afraid to tackle or be tackled. He'll most likely be a football coach's and a hockey coach's dream. And that's got this mama worried.

Friday Night Lights

I grew up in a small town in Texas. Almost every boy in the town played football. The whole town turned out for a home game on Friday night. It didn't matter what the record was, year after year, the crowd was there to support. We had a big, nice stadium to show for it too.

My brother started playing football in 5^th grade. He had a number of injuries over the years, none that stopped him for long. I recall many classmates on crutches, in casts, etc. after a Friday night collision on the field. It was just part of the game.

Studying Concussions

In the past year or so I've been reading a lot about the dangers of concussions as specifically related to football injuries. It started with NFL partnering with Boston University's Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy in an attempt to research and better understand repetitive concussive injuries. Hundreds of former athletes, including a number of retired and active NFL players have agreed to donate their brains to this research program. There are about 70 brains banked at Boston University now.

Then, as this program began finding significant links between repeated head trauma and suicide and neurodegenerative diseases, the immense sacrifice that athletes are asked to make in order to play well, get scholarships and make millions begin to emerge. This issue slowly became more mainstream news and more and more athletes have put their names on the registry pledging to have their brains picked for any clues that might lead to a safer game or better helmets or improved precautions and care. This research program and its results calling for added safeguards have had a trickle-down effect and the information is now reaching young athletes.

Austin Trenum

But not before Austin Trenum suffered a concussion during a football game last fall and subsequently and totally unexpectedly committed suicide two days later. Austin was a high school senior in Virginia with a promising future. Austin's brain was sent to Boston University and was found to have structural damage; among the areas damaged were the parts that affect judgment and impulse control. While the doctors can't say with complete certainty what made Austin commit this devastating act, they do feel there is strong circumstantial evidence. Austin's parents have worked hard to educate others about these dangers and how to prevent this from happening. I'll be talking more about Austin this week.

In response to deaths like Austin's and the findings of Boston University states have been passing new laws requiring better care for young athletes who have suffered a concussion or even display the warning signs of a concussion and providing for education for coaches, parents and medical personnel.

Minnesota's New Concussion Law

On September 1, 2011, Minnesota's new concussion law went into effect. MN's law says that if a young athlete under 18 is showing signs of a concussion, coaches must not let that athlete play again until a medical provider clears him or her. The law also requires all coaching personnel receive periodic training about signs of concussions, dangers, treatments, etc. The law further provides that parents will have access to important information regarding warning signs, dangers, how to treat these injuries, etc. The MN law includes not only school athletics, but also youth sports organizations not associated with schools districts.

State Concussion Laws

MN joins more than 30 other states that now have laws that offer additional protection for young athletes who may have suffered from a concussion. Many of these states have rushed to pass these laws in the last year. As of March 2011, there were 15 states with such laws.

Texas passed a law in 2007 providing that coaches must complete a safety training course as developed by the Commissioner of Education. Then, in 2009, both Oregon and Washington state passed laws that require young athletes be sidelined until a medical exam and release to return to the field. The majority of these new state laws, which were passed in 2010 and 2011, followed in the footstep of OR and WA. TX passed a new law this summer that requires coaches to take an athlete off the field if they suspect a concussion until medical personnel clears the athlete. You can find more information about the state laws in place here.

The Scoop

As a mom to two Darling Boys, I was hoping to avoid the sports that are most likely to cause concussions; that is, football and hockey. With each passing year, as my tall, muscular boys keep growing bigger and taller, I realize that I will probably be in the stands, or pacing behind the seats, as my boys play these rough sports in the years to come. I'll be discussing how to educate yourself about the dangers of concussions, what to watch for and how to properly treat them, etc. the rest of this week.

Can you tell from these photos which sport we love? Over and out...

Anna

A Passion for Consumer Safety: Safety Tips for Bounce House Jumping

Making it Personal

I recently had a conversation with a friend who also authors a blog. In discussing a new endeavor she made the statement that my new project would be more personal than Motherly Law. I didn't argue this point with her and brushed it aside at the time. Later I thought about this statement again. I know that she meant nothing by it, but it really bothered me. I think Motherly Law is quite personal, actually.

I could never sell Motherly Law or pass it off to someone else. Motherly Law is unabashedly me. Motherly Law posts contain my heart and soul. I write what I am passionate about.

Motherly Law is not a stiff "just the facts, ma'am" kind of place. This is a place with enthusiasm for the law; a place with ardor for informing parents; a place with eagerness to connect with other moms; and a place with loads of emotion concerning all of these things.

Consumer Safety & Bounce Houses

One of the things that I am quite passionate about and I take quite personally is consumer safety and kids. As I mentioned on Monday and as every parent knows, kids love to jump and bounce on any surface they can. Bounce houses have become the norm for kid activities everywhere. These structures are fun and seem as safe if not safer than most equipment on the playground.

The problem is they can be quite dangerous depending on the set up, the weather conditions and the number, ages and sizes of kids. In 2004, there were 4,900 injuries reported. Numerous deaths have been reported of young children, teenagers and adults. One orthopedic surgeon in Texas reports that he treats people with bounce house injuries 5 to 10 times a month, many requiring surgery.

Safety Tips

If you're still OK with allowing your kids to frequent a bounce house after that last paragraph, then try to implement these tips to make the bounce house experience safer:

1. Make sure the bounce house is securely staked to the ground and weighted down;
2. If it's windy or there's other inclement weather, keep everyone out of the bounce structure. Some inflatable should be taken down at 15 mph gusts and others can withstand 25 mph gusts; that's not much;
3. Check for an inspection sticker. Not all states require an inspection; in fact, only 19 require it. But if an inflatable structure has an inspection sticker you know that the operator is complying with the state law or has gone the extra mile to ensure the structures are safe;
4. Be sure to have age limits as to who can jump together at one time; just 2 and 3 year-olds and then 4, 5 and 6 year-olds, etc. This can be more difficult when out in public in a bounce structure that is not monitored, but you can self regulate a bit when it comes to when your kids can jump;
5. Watch your kids. Many parents think it's a safe place for kids to be and wander off to chat with friends at a party, etc. and don't watch who is jumping and what's happening in the bounce house; if it's a backyard party, make sure there is a one adult monitoring at the door at all times;
6. Read the rules posted outside of a bounce house; if there are rules. This way your children will be reminded of appropriate behavior in the bounce house each time they play there; and
7. Lastly, a reminder from yesterday's post; always have your kids wash hands and face after jumping to be sure to wash away any lead dust from the vinyl of the bounce structure.

Source: www.ivillage.com

The Scoop

Before you run out and try these tips, read my post tomorrow on liability issues. You may decide it's simply not worth the risk of allowing your child to bounce or renting an inflatable bounce structure for a party, etc. I'm really considering avoiding them altogether, if that's possible, after doing this research. What are your thoughts on this? Over and out...

Anna

Ready, Set, Jump: Bouncy House Safety

The Joy of Bouncing

What is it about jumping that brings such joy to kids? When Darling 1 was just a few weeks old he starting bouncing in my lap; he loved to bounce, bounce, bounce. Darling 1 was such a bouncer that we bought him a Tigger Halloween costume when he was 3 months old. Both the Boys still love to bounce whether it's at Skyzone on a trampoline, on a bed at home, or in a bouncy house.

Nearly every mid to large size town now has a inflatable bounce structure business that's all about jumping, climbing and sliding. These are prime birthday party locations; great indoor play areas when the weather is foul; and fun for the whole family. These structures have made appearances in thousands of yards for all kinds of celebrations; they're present at fairs, festivals and carnivals; and a sure thing at church events and school activities.

Safe Jumping

So, what's the big deal? It's fun to jump; the surfaces aren't hard or sharp; and the kids are safe, right? The answer is tricky. Lately, the seemingly innocent and fun bouncy structures have been getting a lot of bad press. A preliminary search quickly found these incidents: a gust of wind has picked up a bouncy house and flung it into a roof or several yards over or straight up in the air; kids summersault or fall or jump into each other; kids knock into people standing outside the bouncy structure; and kids are exposed to lead in the plastic of the bouncy house. In each of these accidents, people were killed or injured, some were catastrophic injuries.

A Collapsing Bouncy House

This past weekend, we attended a fun end of the summer party in the backyards of our friends and their neighbors who live behind them. Partygoers wandered back and forth. There was live music in one yard, food in one of the houses, drinks at both houses, and a bouncy house in one yard. The Boys immediately gravitated to the spectacular, Toy Story themed, giant bouncy structure. There was a slide, a basketball hoop and several "rooms" for jumping. We finally cajoled them to get out to come eat.

Later, when it was dark, they asked to go back to the bouncy house in the other yard. DH went with them and about 10 minutes later, I walked over to check on them. When I got past the shrubs that divide the yard, I heard Darling 2 crying and saw DH crawling in to find him. At that same time, I noticed the spotlight that had been trained on the bouncy house went out, along with other outside lights. I went around to the side where Darling 2 was to check that he was OK and with DH.

It was then I noticed the bouncy house was deflating... and quickly. Then, it dawned on me, the breaker had flipped with the bouncy house compressor, spotlight and outdoor lights all on; it was too much for the breaker. By this point, the kids were screaming because they realized it was coming down. I yelled to the people standing by the house to flip the breaker and get a flashlight. Since DH was in the bouncy house, he was able to grab our Boys and corral the rest of the kids and get out. He told me the kids were having a hard time trying to get out because the top was falling on them and the deflating floor had big sink holes and gaps in it and it was totally dark.

All the kids did get out {as well as DH}. No one was injured. But that was enough excitement for us. We were done with the bouncy house. And it made me start thinking about bouncy house safety. I had heard a few stories of the structures taking flight after a big gust of wind or on a windy day, but with just a little digging I found a lot more.

This week I'm going to be discussing the various dangers, liability issues and rules for staying safe when it comes to inflatable bouncy structures. Should you boycott them altogether? Well, that's up to you, but I know that I will for sure never rent one for my yard, and I will think twice before allowing my kids to jump in one. I'll be back with more tomorrow. Over and out...

Anna

The List: Essentials for Road Tripping with Kiddos

We're leaving on our road trip. I'm a chronic over-planner, over-packer, over-thinker, and I always have been. So, this doesn't make it easy when getting ready for a family trip. I usually do pack more than we need, but I'd rather have too many than not enough underwear, snacks, toys, clothes, etc.

Part of preparing for this trip is thinking of as many time occupying activities that can be done while strapped into a seat as possible. We have many hours ahead of us on the road. This is important!

Now if I can just make it all fit in the car and work out logistically as we travel along.

 

Here is my list:

1. Snacks, snacks & more snacks {I'll have mashed fruit, cheese crackers, pretzels, yogurt covered raisins, wheat thins, dried berries, string cheese, Pirate Booty & a wee bit of chocolate};
2. DVDs {Our preferences at the moment: Curious George, Diego, Cars & Cars Toons, Clifford, Muppets Take Manhattan & Bob the Builder};
3. Apple Juice & Milk {Packed in a cooler with ice, along with the string cheese and our picnic lunch};
4. Books {I'll scavenge the bookshelves and ask the kids to do the same and fill two totes bags, one for each kid, with a variety of books. I like to take books that have not been read recently and may have been forgotten about, as well as current faves. Lately, they have been all about the Elmo & Sesame Street books I've gotten over the past year from the $1 area in Target.};
5. Small Toys {In our case, Pixar Cars & McDonald Happy Meal Super Hero Figurines};
6. Music CDs {A mix of everything, but ABSOLUTELY NO KID MUSIC. That's just how I roll. We have a brand new mix CD that our sweet friends Jan and Hilary made for us to start the trip off with.};
7. Water & Caffeine for Mama;
8. A Few New Toys from my stash of sale items and Target $1 Area toys {It's always good to have a few toys they have never seen before to pull out at dire moments.};
9. Two Lap Desks {for coloring & drawing, playing cars, eating a snack and looking at books while driving.};
10. Coloring Books, Activity Books, Stickers, Notebooks, Pencils & Crayons;
11. Small Backpack for Each Child {filled by the child with whatever essential toys he deems necessary for the long trek in the car};
12. Favorite Snuggly, Stuffed Animal of the Moment;
13. Lots of Wipes & Target Bags for wet/dirty clothes and diapers.

I am going to arm my 5 year-old with the toy pincher/grabber thingy and a butterfly net for picking up dropped items from the floor. We experimented with this technique, and it's working about 50% of the time, depending on the object. The biggest issue while driving may prove to be all the dropped items they can't reach and want me to get right away, not when we stop in an hour or two.

I also plan to have a reserve of car games in my head for emergency diversions. I Spy is always a good one. One of our favorite made-up games is looking for cars that resemble Pixar Cars characters. This can be played in the city or on the open highway.

I am hoping and praying that Darling 2 sleeps in the car, at least on occasion. I have no hopes of Darling 1 sleeping in the car at all. I have strategically planned stops for eating and getting out for active play. Of course, we'll also stop 18 million times to go to the bathroom along the way.

OK! We're off and away and about to have a great adventure! I'll be checking in on Thursday. Over and out...

Anna

Winning the Jackpot: A Girl Can Dream

Maybe it was watching the royal wedding, maybe it's the rain or maybe it's my mood, but I've been thinking and planning in my head. If I won the lottery, and mean a giant pot, like Mega Millions or the Powerball, this is what I would do: 

1. Pay off mortgage, car and debt;
2. Get an office space away from my home for me and DH;
3. Get a babysitter & go on a weekend long date night {Money's been tight; it's been a while since we have had a date night of any length.}
4. Put the house on the market;
5. Start looking for our modest dream home;
6. Pay cash for our new home;
7. Put college money in annuities for the boys;
8. Put retirement money in annuity for us;
9. Go on a real, honest-to-goodness family vacation every year {never have}
10. Sit down as a family and decide to which charities we wish to make large donations. Two of my favorites: St. Vincent de Paul and Minnesota Public Radio;
11. Send my parents on their dream trip;
12. Buy my parents a home in the Twin Cities so they can visit for months at a time;
13. Have two washers and dryers installed in new dream home;
14. Have two dishwashers installed in new dream home;
15. Go visit our families more often;
16. Sign up for a yoga class {my first};
17. Get a pedicure more than once a year;
18. Get DH a massage more than once a year;
19. Revamp my wardrobe, nothing too extravagant, just good quality, stylish, well fitting clothes;
20. Not work so much, which would enable me to;
21. Exercise more, sleep more, volunteer more and do more with my kids;
22. Randomly pay for people's coffee, gas or lunch; fill parking meters when low; and
23. Take boxes of pizza or sandwiches to homeless and domestic violence shelters on a regular basis as a family.

It never hurts to dream about what it would be like to have enough money to not have to worry about paying bills or unexpected costs or go on vacations or randomly help others, etc. Dreaming is what keeps me going each day.

What would you do if you won the lottery? Have you ever made a mental list or even gone as far as I have and typed it up? Do you buy lottery tickets? Do you have a strategy to picking the numbers? Maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket. I'll be back to legal issues next week. Over and out...

Anna

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President’s Day 2011: Holiday Or Snow Day? {2012 Repost - Not a Snow Day This Year}

Who is Being Honored on President's Day?

Today President's Day or Presidents' Day or George Washington's B-day, depending on where you live. Regardless of what it's called in your neck of the woods, the original intent of Congress in creating this federal holiday in 1880 was to celebrate George Washington's B-day.

George Washington's actual birthday is February 22^nd, but in 1971, the holiday was shifted to the 3^rd Monday in February. According to Wikipedia, it was in the mid-1980s that the term "Presidents' Day" began to show up commercially after advertisers began to push for this. Now, about a dozen or so state governments have officially re-designated the holiday as Presidents' Day celebrating both Washington and Lincoln. Some states celebrate this day in their own way:

• In Massachusetts, the state officially celebrates "Washington's Birthday" on the same day as the Federal holiday. State law also directs the governor to issue an annual "Presidents' Day" proclamation on May 29 honoring the presidents with Massachusetts roots: John Adams, John Quincy Adams, Calvin Coolidge and John F. Kennedy.
• Alabama uniquely observes the day as "Washington and Jefferson Day", even though Thomas Jefferson's birthday is in April.
• In Connecticut, Missouri and Illinois, while Washington's Birthday is a federal holiday, Abraham Lincoln's birthday is still a state holiday, falling on February 12 regardless of the day of the week.
• In Washington's home state of Virginia, the holiday is legally known as "George Washington Day."

Source: www.Wikipedia.com

Washington and Cherries

My childhood recollection of celebrating Washington's birthday involves my mom making little cherry fried pies to represent the story of young Washington chopping down his father's beloved cherry tree with his new little hatchet and coming clean about it. The story is well known, but it's now thought to be total fabrication by book peddler and author, Parson Weems. Regardless, the story now sticks in my memory, and I will forever associate cherries {or little cherry fried pies} with Washington.

Trivia Links

Even though this holiday is really meant to only celebrate Washington on his birthday, I have collected some sites with of trivia involving all 43 of the U.S. Presidents (While President Obama is our 44^th President, there have actually only been 43 U.S. Presidents; President Cleveland was elected twice in nonconsecutive terms.):

• The National Parks Service has tidbits on each of the Presidents;
• Interesting Presidential Trivia;
• The Cherry Tree Story; whether fact or fiction it's a nice parable;
• More Presidential Trivia; and
• President’s Day Children’s Activities.

The Scoop

Today, most schools, government offices and banks will be closed in observance of President's Day. Here, {in 2011} in Minnesota and other parts of the country, it will also be a snow day after receiving more than a foot of snow on Sunday and more forecast for Monday. So, whether you're at home because you get a holiday today or because the snow has you trapped in; or you have sick kid {OK, maybe that's just me} enjoy a bit of Presidential trivia and eat something with cherries, just for the sake childhood nostalgia.

{2012 update: Today it looks nothing like last year. We've having record highs and very little snow this winter. So, this year, the Darlings will likely go play at the park. Be sure to check out the Cherry Chocolate Cookie recipe that I made last year for President's Day.}

Anna

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Impromptu Giveaway: Sky Zone Minneapolis Passes

Listen up, Twin Citians! I have 4 (1 hr.) passes to Sky Zone Minneapolis to give away (valued at $48). I will randomly pick at 10 PM Monday, January 3rd.

Don't know what Sky Zone is? Sky Zone is an indoor trampoline park. This location just opened and is owned by our friends, David and Robyn Hustrulid. Sky Zone Minneapolis is located in Plymouth. We have been there a few times already and love it!

Sky Zone is not just for kids either (although they do have toddler time 2X per week). There  are dodge ball games and SkyRobics for adults. And just jumping is tons of fun. Sky Zone is  a great way to balance fun and fitness; de-stress and shake out the sillies; fun for the whole family. Check out Sky Zone Minneapolis' Facebook Page for more information re: directions, hours, etc.: http://www.facebook.com/skyzonempls

Want to enter to win? Leave a comment below about what you are doing in 2011 to create a balanced lifestyle. For additional entries go to Facebook and  "like" SkyZone Minneapolis, "like" Motherly Law; go to Twitter and follow @SkyZoneMPLS and/or @MotherlyLaw.

Good luck! Wishing you a balanced 2011! Feel free to stick around check out some great posts! Over and out...

Anna

 

 

Too Many Toys: Tips for Buying the “Safest” Toys & Checking for Recalls

Child Psychology In Reverse

Two years ago, I bought the book "Too Many Toys" by David Shannon, thinking it would be a good way to start a dialogue on giving away toys that aren't played with anymore. Wrong. I thought we had too many toys then. Wrong again. That was two year ago, Darling 2 was just a few weeks old. He had not even begun to add his own toys to the stash. Now, here we are, two year later, still with too many toys! (Please note this is exclusively the opinion of the parent in this case)

The premise of the book is that the boy, Spencer, has too many toys. Yes, I 'm sure you got that part already, but there's more. He gets toys from everyone, from grandparents to the dentist. Spencer never gets rid of any of them. That is, until one day when his mom has absolutely had enough of stepping on the toys, and then it's much more difficult than she ever imagined because Spencer begins to negotiate what stays and what goes. It's a cute book, and I thought it was a good tool. And it was, but not in the way I had planned.

Darling 1 quickly caught on to what the story was really about and what I was trying to do. And even more quickly memorized the book, and still, after two years, uses Spencer's lines against me. His favorite, "but I LOVE ALLLLLLL my toys" (said with big, sad eyes and in a pleading, drawn out, pitiful voice). This scene is played out every time I ever say anything about all of their toys and how we should go through them to see if there are any toys we could get rid of.

How Many is Too Many?

The thing is, my Darlings do have too many toys, but they do play with them all. And as soon I think there is a toy that they haven't played with in a while, along comes one or the other and plays with that toy for 2 days straight. Mind you, I said, as soon as I think it. It's as if they can read my thoughts (well, actually sometimes I think they can, but that's another story). I have managed to smuggle a few things down to the basement and hide them away until they can be donated, etc.

They won't even get rid of the broken toys. Case in point, Buzz Lightyear, see photo from Monday's post. He is now headless, wingless, missing one hand, wrapped in masking tape and tied up with a yo-yo, but don't you dare for one intergalactic moment think he's headed for the trash. Oh no, Darling 1 is working on making him a new head and thinking of how to give him a new hand. He'll be as good as new very soon, or so I'm told.

Now don't get me wrong. I love to watch the Darlings construct elaborate storylines and play with the hundreds of stuffed animals, hordes of Little People and McDonald Happy Meal Movie Character toys, legions of cars, trucks and planes and every single Pixar character in their play room, um, I mean, my living room, but I have to draw the line somewhere. I just don't know where that line is yet.

The Dangers of Toys

What I do worry about is lead paint covered toys, tiny batteries, magnets and other small ingestible items. I try to watch for recalls and inspect our toys for loose pieces (or broken off heads and hands, etc.), chipping paint and other dangers. There have been so many toys recalled in the last several years. Many of the recalls were due to the level of lead in the paint used.

Fortunately, the U.S. has responded to these recalls and other issues by tightening the standards and has seen promising results.

Tips for Buying Safe Toys

Here are CPSC's Top Safe Shopping Tips for this year:

• Magnets – For children under age six, avoid building sets with small magnets. If swallowed, serious injuries and/or death can occur.
• Small Parts – For children younger than age three, avoid toys with small parts, which can cause choking.
• Ride-on Toys – Riding toys, skateboards and in-line skates go fast and falls could be deadly. Helmets and safety gear should be sized to fit.
• Projectile Toys – Projectile toys such as air rockets, darts and sling shots are for older children. Improper use of these toys can result in serious eye injuries.
• Chargers and Adapters – Charging batteries should be supervised by adults. Chargers and adapters can pose thermal burn hazards to children.

CPSC also recommends using the following tips to help choose appropriate toys for children:

• Be a label reader. Look for toy labels that give age and safety recommendations and use that information as a guide.
• Select toys to suit the age, abilities, skills and interest level of the intended child. Look for sturdy construction, such as tightly-secured eyes, noses and other potential small parts.
• For all children under 8, avoid toys that have sharp edges and points.

Once the gifts are open:

• Immediately discard plastic wrappings on toys before they become dangerous play things.
• Keep toys appropriate for older children away from younger siblings or neighbors.
• Pay attention to instructions and warnings on battery chargers. Some chargers lack any device to prevent overcharging.

Source: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml07/07032.html

Additional tips from CPSC:

To help keep what has been called the most wonderful time of the year happy and incident-free, CPSC is encouraging consumers to adopt a three-pronged safety approach."

1. Which Toy for Which Child – Always choose age appropriate toys.
2. Gear Up for Safety – Include safety gear whenever shopping for sports-related gifts or ride-on toys, including bicycles, skates, and scooters.
3. Location, Location, Location – Be aware of your child's surroundings during play. Young children should avoid playing with ride-on toys near automobile traffic, pools or ponds. They also should avoid playing in indoor areas associated with hazards such as kitchens and bathrooms and in rooms with corded window blinds.

Source: http://cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml11/11042.html

Websites

• Check the CPSC's site for recalls: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/category/toy.html
• Check The Toy Association's site for all kinds of toy information, from safety to top toys to recalls to parent discussions on playing and toys: http://www.toyassociation.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=TINFO_Home
• For Toy Standards from around the world and agency contact information , check the International Council of Toy Industries site: http://www.toy-icti.org/info/toysafetystandards.html

The Scoop

It's trite and often goes unheeded, but CPSC swears by its "small parts regulations" that have been in place for more than three decades. You know, the warning on toy packaging that cautions of small parts and gives the age the toy is inappropriate for. It's a simple warning, and I have to admit, I rarely look at those warnings on packages. However, I do check toys for small pieces and put those away for a time when the Darlings are older. It's difficult with two children of two very different ages on the development spectrum. At age 2, Darling 2 is still likely to "mouth" small objects.

So, be cautious, be vigilant and have fun shopping this holiday season. How do ensure your kids' toys are safe? Do you watch for recalls? Does it matter to you whether a toy is made in the U.S. or China or New Zealand or Timbuktu? I feel like it mattered more to me when the Darlings were babies. Now it seems like it's all about which toys they want – plastic, commercialized, made in China!

Check back tomorrow for the $40 Caribou Coffee Gift Card Giveaway! On Friday, I post a bit of Motherly Advice. Over and out…

Anna

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Black Friday Temptations: U.S. Toy Safety Standards

Late Night Foray

Laugh if you will (and I can almost guarantee you will by the end of this story), but I decided to brave the cold and go out to Toys R Us when it opened at 10 p.m. on Thanksgiving night. The sales flyer was enticing; 50% off this and that, buy one, get one free, and on and on. The possible savings were too good to pass up.

I decided that I should arrive by 9 p.m. in case of a line. But if you know me, you know that I'm always running late. So, I arrived at 9:30. I noticed a line, but it didn't look too bad. And the store opened in 30 minutes. No sweat. It turns out the line that I could see was just the part on that side of the building. But still, it wasn't too far around the other side.

And then the cold wind reached me. I knew it was single digit temps, but I decided not to check my handy-dandy weather channel app on my phone to find out the actual temperature and wind chill. That would just make me feel colder. I did know that the wind chill earlier in the day, when the sun was still up, had been below zero. I plunged my gloved-hands deep into my warm coat pockets and did what I do best; I struck up a conversation with the two lovely ladies in front of me and nice couple behind me. We talked; we stomped; we hopped up-and-down in place, waiting, waiting, waiting for those doors to open.

People continued to arrive and get into line. The employees working the line estimated more than a 1000 people were there. I was approximately 250 in line. They let about 5o people in every 5 minutes once 10 p.m. arrived. I finally got inside; I wasn't sure I still had toenails; my face and hands were numb with cold, but that was OK because I was about to start saving money. And THEN, I realized it.

My wallet was at home, not in my purse! (I did, however, think to bring a bottle of water in case I was parched by all of the hard-core shopping.) I thought and thought, trying to figure out a solution. I decided to call DH at home. I noticed that my phone was showing low battery, but I figured I had enough battery remaining to call and discuss my predicament with DH. Uh, wrong. My phone died when DH answered and completely powered off. I walked around, dodging jolly, focused shoppers and their carts full of money-saving deals, until I could feel my extremities again, and then I left. When I started my car to drive home, I noticed my gas tank was on E. Seriously, someone was trying to tell me something. When I got home, we had a big laugh about the whole thing, but it took the rest of the night for me to warm up.

And the worst or best part of the story, depending upon how you look at it, I went back at 10:30 a.m. on Friday, and got everything on my list, but one crucial, A-listed-by-Darling-1 toy. I'm OK with it though, these are the kinds of things that happen to me. There was a happy, Christmas-y, congenial mood in the line that made it worth standing out in the frigid night. And let's face it, as parents, we will go to great lengths to get the toys our kids really want and get a good deal too.

Which Toy is the Safest?

It's easy to spot a good deal in a newspaper flyer or online, but it's hard to know how well a toy is made or to predict whether, after 50 million have been sold during the holiday season, it will be recalled in the next several months because there's lead in the paint or the tiny magnetic eyeballs fall out and pose a hazard, or the wheels fall off of a bike when a child is coasting down a hill, etc.

Recalls have been prevalent in the U.S. toy industry in recent years. Some of these recalls are so ridiculous that it's hard to imagine that the toy makers did not know of these issues before placing them on store shelves.

The Standard

Toy safety standards for the U.S. are governed by the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC). There have been standards regulating toys and attempting to keep kids safe since the 1970s. The Standards are ever evolving in response to research and reports, new technologies and current trends. ASTM F963 is the general safety standard for toys.

ASTM F963 is cited in the CPSC's Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008 (CPSIA), which was created in response to the numerous toy recalls in the past several years. ASTM F963 includes guidelines and test methods to prevent injuries from choking, sharp edges and other potential hazards.

The new toy safeguards include: establishing the lowest lead content and lead paint limits in the world; setting limits on the use of certain phthalates; converting the voluntary toy standard into a mandatory standard; and working with Customs and Border Protection data systems to track shipments as they are in transit from other countries thereby increasing our effectiveness in discovering dangerous products coming into U.S. ports.

Source: CPSC Press Release

The Scope of ASTM F963 is as follows:

This specification relates to possible hazards that may not be recognized readily by the public and that may be encountered in the normal use for which a toy is intended or after reasonably foreseeable abuse. It does not purport to cover every conceivable hazard of a particular toy. This specification does not cover product performance or quality, except as related to safety. Except for the labeling requirements pointing out the functional hazards and age range for which the toy is intended, this specification has no requirements for those aspects of a toy that present an inherent and recognized hazard as part of the function of the toy. Such an example is a sharp point necessary for the function of a needle. The needle is an inherent hazard that is well understood by the purchaser of a toy sewing kit, and this hazard is communicated to the user as part of the normal educational process.

Source: http://StandardsForum.com

There is another standard for electric toys: UL-696. And yet another standard that includes Safety of Information Technology Equipment: IEC 60950-1, Second Edition. This includes the hundreds of varieties of electronic child development tools sold as toys: child laptop computers, handheld devices for games and learning, electronic reading toys, etc. ASTM 1148 is the standard for home playground equipment and ANSI Z315.1 is the standard for tricycles. There is even a standard for toy chests: ASTM F834.

All toys sold in the U.S. must conform to these standards. CPSC continues to monitor the effectiveness of the standards and update them as needed. According to Wikipedia, the new standard may be the toughest in the world.

Annual Toy Safety Report

The good news is that toy-related deaths have significantly dropped in the past year. The CPSC recently released its Toy Safety Report for 2009. According to this report, there were only 12 toy-related deaths in the U.S. last year, compared to 24 deaths in 2008 and 24 deaths in 2007. The highest number of deaths was attributed to tricycles. All three deaths occurred when a child fell into a pool while riding a tricycle and was drowned. While the deaths and injuries reported are not necessarily caused by toys, they are related to toys. Even still, the overall number of injuries related to toys is quite high. In 2009, there were an estimated 250,100 toy-related injuries treated in U.S. hospital emergency departments.

CPSC feels that the new standards are making a positive impact and restoring consumer confidence in the toys available. Only time will tell if these new standards are indeed making toys safer.

The Scoop

While these Standards are meant to be followed by toy manufacturers and inspectors, the parents must continually be attentive and do inspections of the toys in the home. It's important to watch for toys that are broken, have missing pieces or loose screws, etc. Parents should remember to watch for small pieces that come with larger toys that might be inappropriate for younger children and pay attention to the warnings given on the toys and their packaging.

On Wednesday, I will post tips for making sure the toys your kids are playing with are safe and how to be sure to spot any toy recalls that may affect you. I do have a Giveaway starting Thursday and ending Friday of this week. I'll post about that soon. Don't forget to weigh in on the Sunday Spotlight article this week. Over and out…

Anna

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Striking a Balance: Tips for Effective Decision Making

The Decision

Ironically, as I sit here now, writing about decision making, I'm in the crux of making a decision regarding Darling 1's Pre-K classroom/school. There are several issues at the heart of the problem and just as many options that might resolve the issues. Darling 1's attitude about school in general hangs in the balance. And he has a great many years of education remaining. Oh, what to do. I have mulled it over. I have discussed it with Darling 1, DH, the school administrators, teachers and my mother. After less than 24 hours, I think I have finally come to a decision regarding this matter. Now, is it the right decision? Only time will tell. The interesting part about this is analyzing how I make a decision.

Libras

My birthday is in October. I'm a Libra. I really don't follow astrology at all, but I find it fascinating to read the description of Libra, the scales, and see if I do indeed own these characteristics. Interestingly, I am very much like the description.

It's usually around my birthday that I think to look up the Libra personality traits to see if I still agree. I did so last night. Again, ironically, there was a part of the description about decision making. One such Libra synopsis states, "Libra can have a struggle with decisiveness because of an ability to see paradoxical sides of every issue." Another reference says, "Librans are the most indecisive of all", but we're also the most charming of all, at least according to the description.

This is true about me; some of the time. I do research, discuss, weigh options, discuss some more and then make a decision, and sometimes still wonder if I made the right decision. However, I also make snap decisions without ever looking back. Oddly enough, it's the snap decisions that one would think are the more difficult: getting a new pet, buying a home, buying a vehicle, etc. What exactly does this say about me?

Black and White or Gray

In a recent Wall Street Journal article written by Shirley S. Wang, Wang notes that there are those who see things as black and white and others who view their world in shades of gray. The black and white thinkers tend to see choices as clear cut and can quickly make decisions. Yet the gray people have a propensity to have conflicted feelings about a choice, finding it much more difficult to come to a conclusion. Researchers refer to this as ambivalence. Here is a list from the article of character traits generally associated with whether one sees the world as black and white or gray:

PEOPLE WHO SEE THE WORLD AS BLACK AND WHITE TEND TO...

• Speak their mind or make quick decisions.
• Be more predictable in making decisions (e.g., who they vote for).
• Be less anxious about making wrong choices.
• Have relationship conflicts that are less drawn out.
• Be less likely to consider others' points of view.

PEOPLE WHO SEE THE WORLD IN SHADES OF GRAY TEND TO....

• Procrastinate or avoid making decisions if possible.
• Feel more regret after making decisions.
• Be thoughtful about making the right choice.
• Stay longer in unhappy relationships.
• Appreciate multiple points of view.

It's common for people to fall somewhere in the middle of the black and white thinker and the shades of gray, ambivalent decision maker. However, if one tends toward ambivalence, that person is more likely to be ambivalent in all area of his or her life. For the rest of this very interesting article, see the WSJ: http://bit.ly/a615RM

A Case for Video Games

I'm not a fan of video games. I once I had to do an intervention with DH while in college just to get him to put down the joystick (this was the 90s, pre-Wii), take a shower, leave his apartment and rejoin the rest of the civilized world. Since that time I have strictly forbidden any kind of video game to enter our abode. So, you can imagine my thoughts, especially now that I'm a parent to two Darling Boys and have been preparing my argument against video games since the day Darling 1 was born, when I read this article entitled: Playing Video Games Enhances Decision-Making by Bruce Bower on Discovery News. What? This can't be!

The argument certainly makes sense. According to the article, playing shoot-'em-up, action-packed video games strengthens a person's ability to translate sensory information quickly into accurate decisions. Apparently, action-game players get tutored in detecting a range of visual and acoustic evidence that supports increasingly speedy decisions with no loss of precision. Researchers are calling this skill probabilistic inference. Slower paced, problem solving video games do not encourage probabilistic inference. Based on this research, the more life and death situations are presented in a fast-paced video game, the better for making accurate, efficient decisions. I still don't like video games, but this is the best argument for them I've heard, so far. For the rest of this article, go to Discovery News: http://bit.ly/9vLNXT

Tips and Websites

• This site has great techniques for effective decision making: http://www.time-management-guide.com/decision-making-skills.html
• This article offers tips on better decision making in the workplace: http://zenhabits.net/the-fine-art-of-decision-making-%E2%80%93-7-tips-for-getting-decisions-made-easier/
• This site is for the person who really takes decision making seriously and simply can't make up his or her mind without a little help from decision making tools: http://www.minddecider.com/Articles.Decision-making_software_review.htm

The Scoop

In the end, it's about finding balance. Once you make a decision that you are comfortable with, you can find that peaceful balance. How do you make decisions? Do you see things as black and white or in shades of gray? Please share your decision making tips by leaving a comment here, on Twitter or Facebook. I look forward to hearing from you. I will post a bit Motherly Advice on Friday. Over and out…

Anna

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Control Freak: Tips for Safe and Happy Traveling with Kids

The Hesitant Step

I have to admit I get a little panicky when it comes to flying, as I have mentioned in The Overly Cautious Traveler post. It isn't flying per se that bothers me. It's the full relinquishment of all control. And I'm a control freak.

Every time I buy a ticket I hesitate in that second before I purchase. And then when I'm standing in the jet way about to board, in that last second before I step onto the aircraft, I pause and consider not getting on the airplane; not going on my trip. Once on board, I silence the tiny, but loud paranoid voice in my head. Once on board, I don't allow that little voice to speak, but I accept whatever fate is mine.

Flying with Kids

It actually helps to have the kids along. I have too many other things to focus on to think about my control issues. Between wrangling the kids, 18 bags (I'm exaggerating – a little), stuffed animals, and a stroller and keeping our boarding passes in hand, I somehow forget my worries. I know, I know. Flying is statistically safer than driving a vehicle to my destination, blah, blah, blah. My brother is a pilot, and he is forever reminding me of all of these facts. Even still, the unrest remains.

Travel Tips

One thing that does make traveling with kids more relaxed and happier for everyone is to be organized and prepared for almost any scenario. I always have a few new, small, quiet toys, books, DVDs and player, a favorite stuffed animal, easy to eat, healthy snacks, their cups and supply of water, juice and milk, any essential medicines, and few chocolate bribe treats (as in please stop screaming and kicking the back of that poor man's seat and have some M & Ms), a change of clothes or two (depending on the length of trip), lots of diapers for Darling 2, extra underwear for Darling 1 and lots and lots of wipes (you can use them for so many things).

Here's what one expert has to say:

Based on analyses of dozens of aviation incidents and accidents involving children and on personal experience as a traveling parent, www.AirSafe.com has ten travel safety tips:

• Plan ahead: Ask yourself what supplies you will need to have on hand to take care of any normal or special needs for the child. Remember, it is the airline's responsibility to carry passengers to their destination, but it is the responsibility of the parent or responsible adult to take care of any children.
• Use a child restraint system for children under 40 pounds (18.1 kilos): The U.S. Federal Aviation Administration strongly recommends that children weighing less than 40 pounds be put into a child restraint system appropriate for their weight. Children under the age of two may be carried on the lap of an adult, but the lap child should have some kind of restraint system.

  For small children, consider the following recommendations:

  • Find a way to conveniently carry an appropriate child restraint system through airports and into and out of aircraft.
  • If the child is over the age of two and less than 40 pounds (18.1 kilos), follow the FAA recommendations for using child restraint systems.
  • If the child is under two, consider buying a separate seat for the child and use an appropriate restraint system for the seat.
  • If the child is under two and will be traveling on the lap of an adult, consider using an appropriate in-flight child restraint. Also, bring along an appropriate child restraint system for a seat just in case you happen to be next to an unoccupied seat.
• Prepare for possible emergencies: Make sure you are aware of emergency equipment or procedures that would apply to your child:
  • Pay attention to the standard preflight emergency briefing
  • Ask a flight attendant if that particular aircraft has emergency equipment like life preservers specifically designed for small children
  • If your child has a medical condition that may become an issue during the flight, make a flight attendant, counter agent, or gate agent aware of that possibility before the flight
• Take all essential items for the children in carry-on luggage: Take enough food, diapers, medicine, and other items to last through possible flight delays and lost luggage. Carrying all the child's essentials with you is especially important if your child is on a special diet or on medication.
• Keep your children under control at all times: YOU and not the flight attendant is responsible for supervising your child at all times. An unsupervised or unrestrained child could quickly wander way into dangerous areas such as galleys, especially if the responsible adult falls asleep. You should also be careful when walking about the aircraft with your child so that they don't reach for cups of hot coffee, silverware, and other hazards.
• Seat your child away from an aisle: Small children enjoy reaching out and exploring, but if they are on the aisle they could get hurt if their little arms get bumped by a person or serving cart passing down the aisle. Ideally, two responsible adults should sit on either side of the child. Also, one can seat the child on a row with a window on one side and a responsible adult on the other.
• If emergency oxygen masks deploy, put your mask on first: This advice may seem cruel, but there is a very practical reason for it. If the brain is starved of oxygen (hypoxia), one can get confused or pass out and be unable to help themselves or their child. By putting on their mask first, the parent or responsible adult will reduce their chance of falling victim to hypoxia.
• Keep your child belted or in a child restraint system at all times: Turbulence can happen at any time and without warning, so keep your child belted in as much as possible. If the child, wants to get up and move around, let them do so only if the seat belt sign is off. The FAA has related information in this brochure about child seats and turbulence.
• Bring along safe toys: Try to avoid bringing along toys that are sharp, heavy, or that break easily. If the child has an electronic game, only allow them to use it during the cruise portion of flight. Electronic games may interfere with an aircraft's navigational system during other phases of the flight.
• Take extra precautions for children traveling alone::
  • Escort the child onto the aircraft and check the area around the seat for hazards such as heavy carry-on items in the overhead storage bins.
  • Inform the chief flight attendant that the child is traveling alone
  • Ensure that the person meeting the child at the destination will have proper identification.
  • Make it clear to the child that they should report any problems to a flight attendant. This could range from feeling sick to having a suspicious character seated next to them.
  • If the child has to change planes, make arrangements for the child to be escorted between gates. This usually costs extra and is required for small children and is recommended for older children, especially those old enough to do it on their own but not mature enough to deal with potential problems or temptations at a busy airport

From www.AirSafe.com

Websites

This blog has some great tips starting from the beginning of the trip: Get to the airport early. There are also some great related links to other Delicious Baby blog posts with travel tips like how to keep your kids busy on the airplane and practical tips for breastfeeding and pumping on the airplane: http://www.deliciousbaby.com/travel/family-travel-tips/making-travel-days-with-kids-work/air-travel-with-babies-toddlers-kids/

Wow! This site has a really long list of travel game ideas: some for the car, some for the plane, all really fun and creative, adaptable for a variety of ages. Make sure to check this site before you take off on your next adventure: http://www.momsminivan.com/bigkids.html

Another really great idea from a mom, no less: Mom Maps, an iPhone application, helps you find fun, kid friendly locations on the go! Search our extensive list of parks, playgrounds, restaurants, museums and indoor play areas, as well as reviews by parents, for parents. Using GPS, you'll see nearby results, plus a map to get you there. There are 22 cities "mapped" with new destinations being added continually. So, if you find yourself in an unknown city and want to find a park, a clean bathroom, a kid-friendly restaurant, etc. this is a great app to have: http://kidsplayguide.com/#

The Scoop

What are your tricks and tips for traveling with kids? Please drop me a line here, on Facebook or Twitter. I would love to hear from you. Did I mention that I am flying on Thursday? Yep, I'm going to New York for the Blogher Conference. I will be posting from the City that Never Sleeps (my kind of place) on Friday. Wish me luck! Over and out…

Anna

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Competitive Fire: Tips for Preventing Injuries in Youth Sports

Well, what do you know? Dear Husband is back again today. And it looks like you will get some "Fatherly Advice" on Friday. I hope you are enjoying his guest posting week. I'll be back in the swing of things next week though. 

Overly-Competitive Parents

Everybody is different when it comes to participating in sports and how serious one takes sports. No matter how you feel about athletics one thing I think everyone can agree on is that no one wants to see his or her child or any other child or athlete get injured. Of course there are always the exceptions to the rule (See Crazy Texas Cheerleader Mom and Nancy Kerrigan Incident). But I trust that these are rare instances, and that most Motherly Law readers would never dream of attempting to injure a competitor (or their mothers).

All kidding aside, sports injuries can have serious and lasting effects on our children. Therefore, as parents it's vitally important to learn what we need to do to prevent these types of injuries.

Youth Sports Safety Tips

More than 30 million children participate in sports each year in the United States. Of those 30 million, approximately 3.5 million children under the age of 14 are treated for sports-related injuries in hospitals, clinics and emergency rooms.

Here are five important sports safety tips from Safe Kids USA that all coaches, parents and league organizers can use to prevent sports-related injuries:

FIRST THINGS FIRST: Every child should receive a pre-participation physical evaluation (PPE) every year. These exams help with the prevention and treatment of any underlying conditions the young athlete may have.

Action: Parents, talk to your child's doctor and ask them to perform the full Pre-Participation Evaluation. You can download a copy of the exam here.

BEFORE PRACTICE, PLAY OR COMPETITION: Warming up and stretching before play is essential. This helps athletes avoid injuries such as muscle tears or sprains by stretching and releasing any muscle tension.

Action: Make sure there is time set aside before every practice and game to warm up. This could mean a light run, jogging in place or anything that brings the athletes' heart rate up gradually. Instruct the kids on how to stretch muscles and holding for 10-15 seconds.

HYDRATION: Hydrating well before, during and after practices and games is a must.

Action: Make sure your athlete drinks about 12 ounces of fluid 30 minutes before activity begins; at least 10 gulps every 20 minutes of play and every 20 minutes during the first hour after the activity to make up for fluid loss.

GEAR: Wearing the appropriate and properly fitted sports equipment can help avoid minor and serious injuries such as concussions.

Action: Make sure your athlete has the proper equipment to perform at his or her best—this may include helmets, shin guards, ankle braces, shoes with rubber cleats, and sunscreen with SPF 15 or higher.

QUALIFIED COACHING: Become properly trained and learn the sport-specific techniques that can prevent injury or illness that can occur.

Action: Establish safety guidelines that athletes, parents and coaches will follow such as PPE requirements, hydration breaks and ways to prevent or detect concussions and overuse injuries.

SUPPORTIVE PARENTING: Learn how you can help your child stay injury-free and optimally healthy.

Action: Make sure the child receives a PPE by their doctor, encourage hydration before and after the game and learning about the signs and symptoms of a concussion are just a few critical action steps you can take.

 

Websites

This page from the University of Michigan Health System provides a lot of great detail on preventing sports injuries, injuries that occur in specific sports and lists many other resources: http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/sportsaf.htm

The National Center for Sports Safety provides online Sports Safety Education Courses for coaches and parents: http://www.sportssafety.org/

The National Youth Sports Safety Foundation is dedicated to reducing the number and severity of injuries youth sustain in sports and fitness activities. The Foundation is the only organization in the country solely dedicated to this objective. http://www.nyssf.org/

The Scoop

Doing the research for this post has made me realize how easy it is to be ignorant about the prevention of injuries in youth sports. I will ensure that I am aware of all preventive measures to help keep my boys injury free. I hope you do the same.

Do you have some sports injury prevention tips that you have used in the past? Have your kids been injured playing youth sports? Did you experience any injuries playing sports as a kid? On Friday I will post a bit of Motherly Advice from a Father's perspective. That should be enough to bring you back. I'm out…

 

Dear Husband

When to Take the First Swing: Organized Youth Sports

Nota Bene: Mama's got a work deadline this week. So, after much negotiating, pleading and persuading, Dear Husband agreed to guest post for me this week. Maybe just today, maybe through Wednesday, but you just might see some Fatherly Advice on Friday. Yes, it's going to be that kind of week for me. So, lend him your ear, and don't be timid about giving him some blog love and support.

 A Rough Beginning

From the time Darling 1 was capable he has been throwing or kicking balls. During the Spring or early Summer of 2009 we received a catalog for organized sports from the YMCA. There were organized sports starting for kids as young as 3 years old. Since Darling 1 seemed to be mature enough to play and because his interest level was extremely high we decided to sign him up for soccer and t-ball.

Anna and I felt confident that starting Darling 1 in organized sports at the ripe old age of 3 was the right thing to do. Little did we know what we were getting ourselves into by doing this. Each week one of us spent most of the "game" running with him on the soccer field or sprinting from home to first, first to second and so on. If we didn't stay on the field with him there were tears flowing by the time the game started or a little one attached to our leg. At times it felt like a complete waste of time.

It got better through the season and by the end Darling 1 participated in the majority if not all of the games. This positive ending caused us to believe that we were past the difficulties that were experienced during the previous season, and we signed him up for soccer this past May. The first game started out wonderfully. He was tearing the field up. Dribbling the ball from one end to the other and even taking a few shots on goal. And then it happened.

Many of the players began experiencing the emotional breakdown we saw last year. Therefore, the majority of the kids had at least one parent (some two) on the field as well as the coaches. It was pure chaos. Darling 1 got frustrated with having to compete with and dodge all of the parents. He then pulled a "Randy Moss." He walked off the field and refused to play the rest of the game. Even though he was always excited to go to the game by the time we were there he would refuse to play. So at the end of the second season we were unsure if we should give up on soccer or all organized sports for the time being or attempt to tackle it once again.

Well, due to Darling 1's excitement about playing t-ball we signed him up for a 4 to 5 year old team. Through 2 games the experience has been phenomenal. Who knows how the season will end, but thus far the great chemistry with the other boys, the very patient coach and Darling 1's wonderful effort has made us glad we gave it one more shot.

When to Start Organized Sports?

When is the right time to start your child in organized sports? I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this question. Every child is different. We don't regret starting Darling 1 as early as we did because we feel the socialization and positive experiences he has gained from participating do out-weigh the negative. However, some health professionals state that it's not until about age 6 or 7 that most kids develop the appropriate physical skills or the attention span needed to listen to directions and grasp the rules of the game. While preschoolers can throw and run, it usually takes some time before they can coordinate the two skills. And it usually isn't until kindergarten or first-grade that kids grasp concepts like "taking turns" that are crucial to many sports.

That doesn't mean kids shouldn't play sports when they're younger. Sports can be fun for toddlers and kindergartners, but they should be less about competition and more about having fun. So even if young kids inadvertently score a goal for the other team or spend the entire game chasing butterflies, as long as they're enjoying it, that's OK. (www.kidshealth.org)

Choosing the Right Sport

We believe in choosing sports based on our darling boys' interests. Our household lives and breathes baseball most of the year. I have played in soccer leagues for the majority of Darling 1's life so he has always had an interest in playing, too. Therefore, choosing soccer and t-ball were easy decisions.

Although soccer and t-ball were no brainers for us there are several factors that should be used when choosing a sport for your child. Consider your child's unique temperament. Some kids are naturally inclined toward team sports, while others may feel more comfortable in activities where the focus is on individual efforts. There's something for everyone — from soccer and baseball for team-oriented kids, to tennis, fencing, karate, dancing, and swimming for kids who'd rather go solo.

Don't be surprised if it takes a few tries — or a few seasons — to find the sport that's right for your child. It often takes time for kids to figure out which activities they enjoy.

Some kids may just not be interested in team sports, but they can still keep fit by engaging in other activities that don't emphasize competition. No matter what they choose, kids should be physically active for at least 60 minutes a day.

The Scoop

Organized sports at a young age should be all about having fun. Although our experiences haven't always been the best we make the extra effort to make sure it's a fun experience. So even if the only fun part of the game was playing at the nearby park afterward he still left feeling positive.

When did your children start participating in organized sports? What sports are the best fit for your kids? Do you think our society starts organized sports too early? We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. On Wednesday we will provide tips and websites on keeping your kids safe and healthy while playing sports. Thanks for reading. I'm out…

Dear Husband

There but for the Grace of God, Go I: Tips and Websites for Keeping Your Child Safe In and Around Vehicles

The Game of Parenthood

 

Much of the time, parenthood feels like a competition with other parents. No matter what choices you make, whether based on intuition, research, polling other parents or a little bit of each, and no matter how confident you are in the decisions you have made, you will feel wrong, judged, flaky, arrogant, triumphant, smart, better, clever and a long list of other positive and negative feelings some of the time. Let the games begin!

• Round One starts the moment your ever growing belly announces to the world there is a little being growing inside. Some of the issues up for disscussion:
  • Stroller make and model;
  • Breast feeding or formula feeding;
  • Co-sleeping;
  • Cloth diapers or disposable;
  • Doula;
  • Midwife or doctor.
• Round Two, the beautiful bouncing baby is born. Some of the topics in this Round:
  • Hours of sleep in between feedings;
  • Paci, thumb or nothing at all;
  • Colicky, reflux and/or allergies;
  • Feeding baby solids at 4 months;
  • Mommy gets her "old figure" back by 6 months.
• Round Three includes the developmentally milestones. Baby is growing:
  • Holds up head at 1 week;
  • Hasn't started rolling at 3 months;
  • Scoots on bottom rather than crawling on all fours;
  • Cruises, waves and/or dances;
  • Walking at 9 months or baby doesn't walk until 17 months;
  • First words at 5 months or baby's first words at 2 years.
• Next is Round Four, a.k.a. general socialization, which comprises art class, music class, dance class, tumbling, Spanish, soccer, tennis, swimming, tee ball, preschool, etc.
  • child taking early childhood music by 3 months;
  • child playing youth sports at age 3;
  • child registered for dance or tumbling classes by age 2;
  • child taking swim lessons by age 2;
  • child enrolled in preschool by age 3.

     

The rounds of the competition continue forever. The thing is there are no right or wrong answers. All the questions are trick questions. We, as parents, can be caddy and quick to judge. The right and wrong answers change from one parent to the next. The judgment can range from one end of the spectrum to the other: parents are over stimulating their child to parents are not exposing their child to enough; parents are working too much and not spending enough time with their child to the parents never leave that child with anyone.

 

Parental Judgment

 

It's my opinion that parents are quick to judge someone who does things differently because it eases the parental self-doubt to label someone different as wrong. Honestly, who among us is free from parental self-doubt. If we are parenting correctly and others are not, then we feel better about the job we are doing with our own kids. It's easy to say I would NEVER let our child sleep in our bed; ride a bike without a helmet; drink juice; watch DVDs in the car; scream and screech just because; waste food; etc, especially before your child is born! It's also comforting to say to ourselves I would never be so upset with my infant that I would shake him to death like that parent in the newspaper; I would never answer the phone while my toddler is taking a bath like the parent on TV; or I would never forget that my child is in the car and leave him there for 9 hours while I worked like the parent in the magazine. Never say never! The truth is parents are universally overworked, overtired, over-stimulated, and the brain can play terrible tricks.

 

Safety Tips

 

Here are ways to ensure that your child is safe in and around vehicles:

Safe Kids USA urges all adults to take the following steps:

• Call 911 if they see a child unattended in a vehicle.
• Never leave children alone in a vehicle - even for a minute.
• Set your cell phone or Blackberry reminder to be sure you drop your child off at daycare.
• Place a cell phone, PDA, purse, briefcase, gym bag or whatever is to be carried from the car on the floor in front of the child in a back seat.  This forces the adult to open the back door and observe the child before leaving.
• Set your computer "Outlook" program to ask you, "Did you drop off at daycare today?"
• Have a plan with your child care provider to call if your child does not arrive when expected.  
• Check cars and trunks first if a child goes missing

Children should never be left alone in a vehicle, not even to run a quick errand. Harrison's Hope offers parents the following tips to help keep their children safe.

• Plan ahead to use drive-through services where available such as pharmacies and banks. More and more services are adding drive-through convenience, including dry cleaners, restaurants (beyond fast food), libraries, grocery stores, and even dog grooming. A quick search on the Internet will help you find convenient drive-through services in your area.
• Call dry cleaners and other businesses to schedule pick-up and drop-off services at your vehicle. Most businesses will bring service curbside if you call ahead.
• Make advance arrangements for your child-care provider to meet you at your vehicle. Alternatively, plan extra time into your pick-up/drop-off routine to bring all children inside with you.
• Use your debit or credit card at the gas pump.
• Ask grocery store clerks to load your bags into your vehicle and return the grocery cart.
• If possible, leave your children with a responsible adult. Arrange a baby-sitting co-op with your neighbor to give you an hour to run errands.

Accidents can happen right in your own garage or driveway. Harrison's Hope offers parents the following tips to help prevent accidents in or around vehicles.

• Keep vehicles locked at all times -- even in the garage or driveway.
• Never leave keys within the reach of children.
• Teach children to never play in or around vehicles.
• Consider installing cross-view mirrors and/or a backup detection device on your vehicle.
• Make sure all young passengers have left your car after it is parked.

From Harrison's Hope (See Websites for additional information)

 

Another good idea that I read about was to place a stuffed animal in the car seat. When you put your child in the seat, place the stuffed animal in the front passenger seat. Then, you know if you see the stuffed animal sitting next to you, your child is in his or her car seat.

 

Websites

 

1. Harrison's Hope; a Missouri-based, national, non-profit organization dedicated to preventing injuries and deaths that occur due to children being left unattended in or around motor vehicles. Harrison's Hope has embarked on a mission to pursue preventative legislation in all 50 states to make sure that no child is ever, not even for a minute, left alone in or around a motor vehicle. For more information on Harrison's Hope, the Zero Seconds Program, go to www.harrisonshop.org.

    

2. The ChildMinder Alarm System; alarm sounds if child is left in car seat and parent walks more than 15 feet away from the vehicle. Get more information about this product at: http://www.babyalert.info/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=1&zenid=sqt8qmqicnofugqb8h1ta68ss3.
3. Safe Kids USA; this site has lots of great safety information, including information on staying safe in and around vehicles. Check it out at http://www.safekids.org/.

The Scoop

 

Be proactive, and do something that reminds you to check your child(ren)'s seat(s) when you exit your vehicle. If you see a child left in a vehicle, please alert authorities immediately. Try not to be so quick to judge. Try putting yourself in other's shoes. This may sound cliché, but it's true. Try practicing compassion and empathy. More than likely it was a slip of the memory, and it could happen to you. On Friday, I will post a bit of Motherly Advice. Over and out…

 

Anna

MORE MOTHERLY ADVICE

I have a little more "Motherly Advice" for you as a follow up to the Motherly Advice posted this morning.  This advice comes from the Sajai Foundation, a non-profit organization working to combat childhood obesity and inspire wise health and nutrition choices for youth.  If you are unfamiliar with the Sajai Foundation learn more at www.sajaifoundation.org.  These tips are easy to implement into our busy daily schedules and sound like fun too.  Give them a try, and let me know what your kids think.  I am going to try these with my family next week.

We know kids should be active for at least 60 minutes per day. But sometimes it’s not that easy to find a large block of time for a structured activity or even active free play. Because our Wise Kids® programs focus on Energy Balance, we’ve included a few easy-to-implement ideas for both Energy IN (choosing healthy foods) and Energy OUT (being physically active) so you can take part in helping the children around you become healthier. Better yet, join in right along with them!

Energy IN Challenges:

• Eat breakfast each day this week.
• Try 1 new vegetable each day this week.
• Plan and prepare one nutritious dinner this week.

Energy OUT Challenges:
• Play a game of Simon Says using active commands such as ‘hop on one foot 5 times’ or ‘do 7 jumping jacks’.
• Play Keep it Up with a balloon (a fun activity that can be done indoors with little space)
• Play Food Pyramid Hot Potato with a bean bag or small ball. The leader calls out a food group and starts a timer. Whoever catches the ball needs to name a food from that group before they can toss the ball to another player. When the timer goes off, the person holding the ball is out, and play continues.

 

Over and Out.  Enjoy the weekend.  Come back Monday to find out the top reason you need a Last Will and Testament.

 

Anna