Hanging By a Thread

Be Kind and Do the Right Thing {It’s Really That Simple, Isn’t it?}

What if we made decisions based on reason and good sense and because it was in the best interest for all or at least most? What then?

What would our world look like? What would we think of our leaders then? How would we feel about mankind? How would we feel about ourselves?

There are a few things that have really bothered me over the last few weeks; items from news headlines and articles. Here they are {in brief} and my thoughts on them {in brief…as brief as I can be}:

All Parents have Challenges

Gwyneth says moms with "regular" jobs working 9 to 5 have it easier than "movie stars" working 14 hours on location.

My Take: Don't compare yourself to others and their situations. You have no idea the challenges, burdens and sacrifices that another has faced or is facing. Simply be kind to others and live your own life. And if you don't like your life, take steps to change that – this goes for "movie stars" too.

I have no doubt it is challenging to be a celebrity and a mom, but it is also challenging to be "regular" mom working 9 to 5 in an office or working from home or working shifts or whatever a mom's situation is. Can we just agree it's challenging to be a mom?

Government could Save $400 Million with One Simple Change

Fourteen year-old boy comes up with a simple (& proven) way to save the federal and state governments $400 million dollars each year by changing the font in which they use for printing purposes; Times New Roman uses more ink than Garamond. By printing in Garamond, the governments would save this astronomical (to me) amount in ink costs.

My Take: This is remarkable. And yet, will the branches of government even consider such a change; a change that could mean closing the gap in other areas of their budgets or that this money could go towards more important things than ink? I doubt it. It seems that the government (federal and state) and the politicians running them are rarely interested in ways to truly be economical or do what is safer, healthier or smarter with our money. It is almost always about spending money in their districts or with their constituents or something that will benefit them personally, I am sorry to say.

But wouldn't it be great to see the government truly working with this 14 year-old and implementing this simple change?

If the government was run like a household budget, the government would most certainly try this money-saving plan.

Watch YourSELF! Don't be a Bully!

Self Magazine published a photo of two women running in a marathon wearing superhero-inspired tutus…and featured it in their BS Meter, Legit or Lame segment, calling it lame and making fun of them for wearing the tutus…one of the runners in the photo has cancer, ran while doing chemo and makes and sells the tutus to help fund a youth development program for girls…

My Take: This whole thing really smells to high heaven. They asked permission to use this photo and then proceeded to make fun of her and her friend… that's bad enough. But then, they find out she has cancer and was going through chemotherapy during the time she ran and she does good with the money she makes in selling these tutus….wow!

So, editors at Self, clearly you failed miserably on this photo, but I think you have failed overall with this whole segment. Who are you to poke fun at anyone? Even if she and her friend were simply runners, no cancer or nonprofits involved, it's not OK to make rude comments about someone. That is bullying behavior. I say ditch your BS Meter altogether.

I applaud the self-expression, and you can call me lame if you like, but anything superhero-inspired is cool in our household. And seriously, these two women were RUNNING A MARATHON! They ROCK…period!

Privacy Issues in School Bathrooms

There was a recent incident in a St. Paul school when a janitor was inappropriate in a boys bathroom.

My Take: As a mom to boys, I have often thought this is a bad idea for the men on staff to share a bathroom with the boys in the school, considering there are urinals and not just stalls. I think both boys and the male teachers/staff should have privacy in a bathroom at school. And having separate bathrooms for students and personnel affords protection from such instances, for both the adults and students. Of course, the same can be said for the girls bathrooms too, but there are at least stalls and doors, giving more privacy. And really, I'm not sure urinals without enclosures have a place in schools.

Suing Your Parents is NOT a Good Idea…EVER

A high school student sued her parents, trying to force them to pay for her college expenses. The suit was dropped and the girl moved home, fortunately.

My Take: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Clearly, this girl had lost her way somewhere and has hopefully found her path again now. There was little basis to her lawsuit. There was no evidence of abuse or neglect. Instead, it appeared to be a case of a girl not wanting to follow her parents' rules (which by reports from her parents were not terribly restricting) and leaving home on her own accord to live with a friend's family once she turned 18, but wanting her parents to continue to fund her life.

This friend's father was an attorney. It sounds like he talked her into suing her parents for her Catholic high school tuition payment and college living expenses for the next year. This is very unfortunate, it not only put attorneys in a bad light yet again, it also makes the girl look like a spoiled rotten, greedy brat (which may not have been the case at all) and these shenanigans cost all involved a great deal of expense and energy and heartache….all for nothing.

Usually simply talking out a problem is a good and cheap solution to most familial issues.

These are the headlines that have been knocking around in my head lately. And now you know my take on them. Over and out…

Anna

 

 

 

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Superheroes {Believe}

News Flash: Cancer is Killing Us {but we can Fight back}

10 Habits of a Mediocre, Barely Successful Person {A Bit of a Parody}

I've been seeing a number of lists on the 10 Habits of Highly successful people and variations of types of habits {work habits, lunch habits, weekend habits, morning habits, etc.} shared across the Facebook universe.

I've read them…because I was curious…am I highly success and didn't even know it?

It turns out that I'm not.

I have very few of the habits presented in these lists.

I started thinking about my habits. I decided I was a mediocre kind of person; perhaps one could say a barely successful kind of person. After all, I am fully-functioning, I work, I have birthed two babies, I'm educated and I have had a few, minimal successes in life.

Then, the sarcastic side of my brain took over, and I started coming up with the 10 Habits of a Mediocre, Barely Successful Person. So, here goes (Can you relate to any of these?):

1. A barely successful person sits glued to the computer, working through lunch and then realizes around 4 pm that she (that's me) has not eaten all day, when her blood sugar drops and she's shaky and yelling at her kids;
2. A barely successful person multi-tasks by starting the laundry, blow drying her hair til half dry, starting an email, looking up a phone number, getting out a box of cereal and picking up the news magazine from the mail pile. Sounds like a good idea, but the laundry in the washer does not get moved to the dryer until the following day, her hair dries with a cowlick, the email goes into drafts, the phone call is not made, see #1 for what happens regarding the cereal, but the magazine….well, the magazine gets read (this barely successful person reads The Week…every week);
3. A barely successful person does not work out on a regular basis. Period. But she does run back and forth and up and down the stairs and from her vehicle to her destination due to general disorganization and lack of timeliness. All of this counts as exercise;
4. A barely successful person is always running late. See #2 for a start to an explanation as to why;
5. A barely successful person drinks coffee for breakfast. She is too busy to stop for food;
6. A barely successful person is lucky to get more than 6 hours of sleep at one time;
7. A barely successful person works weekends, evenings, days, basically whenever she can fit it in;
8. A barely successful person does not employ gardeners, cooks, maids, assistants, etc. but instead enjoys juggling it all {with her family's help};
9. A barely successful person will drop everything to have coffee with a friend or go on an adventure with her family. See #7 for explanation as to how she does it; and
10. A barely successful person thinks and dreams and theorizes a lot.

This is why a barely successful person is always hanging by a thread. It's OK to be a mediocre, barely successful person. We can't all be having high-powered lunches paid for by someone else while our personal assistant does our shopping and takes care of bills and runs our errands and prepares for next week's dinner party with other high-fliers… How exhausting….No, I think I'd rather be hanging on to my thread with both hands, swinging over the pit of serpents. Over and out….

Anna

Definition of a Leader

I looked up the definition of a leader. The first definition I came across was this:

Leader

1:  something that leads: as

a :  a primary or terminal shoot of a plant

b :  tendon, sinew

There were a number of other definitions for leader, but this one struck a chord in me and gave me a wonderful visual for a leader. That is, in regards to a leader of people.

A leader {of people} does lead the way for the others who follow, just as a primary shoot does for the growing plant. A leader is not alone. A leader is a part of the whole. A leader is not above all the rest. A leader merely forges ahead, clearing a path, preparing the way.

As with the shoot of a plant, a tendon or sinew is also part of the whole. A tendon is a connective tissue that attaches muscle to bone or muscle to muscle and can withstand tension. A tendon does not act alone within the body; all the parts must work together as a team to move and perform tasks.

Leaders {of people} must work in communion with their teams; with their people. A leader who abuses power or looks down upon the others in the group will not truly lead people, but will by force and fear and pressure push those underlings to perform and obey.

Good leaders lead by example, always moving ahead one step at a time.

Great leaders raise others up with them and send them out into the world prepared to become primary shoots, capable of supporting and growing new leaves and fruit of their own.

Great leaders, like loving parents, are excited and supportive when their pupils fly the coop, so to speak. Great leaders know these young, fresh leaders will always be loyal and trustworthy because they were raised up and trained in this way.

Great leaders see the big picture for what it is, even when it isn't pretty. Great leaders are not afraid of open discourse because it usually leads to a solution or new idea. Limiting ideas or discussions will stunt the growth of the whole group and lead to decay.

Great leaders like to shine the light on others, rather than continually standing in the spotlight.

In referring back to the original definition of a leader, great leaders are not terminal shoots. A terminal shoot grows a bud at the end of the shoot, causing the shoot to grow longer, but that bud sends hormones back down the shoot, inhibiting growth of other buds on that shoot. A "terminal" leader excels and looks like a big shot, growing bigger and higher than the others, but this kind of leader is really alone and is not actually leading at all.

We have leaders at work and in schools and in politics and at church and in our communities and in various organizations. Leaders can be great whether leading one or one million. Some are born great leaders and others develop into great leaders.

The world is always in need of great leaders. Are you one? Do you know a great leader? Sometimes it seems that we are running out of great leaders in this culture of greed and self-promotion, but if you look you will still find great leaders, quietly toiling, empowering others to do their jobs well, whatever those tasks are. Over and out….

Anna

 

Empty {Time on My Hands}

I feel like an empty nester. I feel so alone. I feel stuck.

My kids are both in school 5 full days of the week with after school care 3 of those days. That's a lot of time to myself.

I welcomed the time; the quiet; the work to be done. I have not had time like this in over 7 years. I made lists of things I would accomplish and which days would be for this or that. I couldn't wait for it to start.

But then, it happened. I had too much time. I didn't know what to do with myself. Everything felt like drudgery. I wasn't getting a lot done. I was stuck. I missed meals. I had no reason to prepare breakfast or lunch; instead I had coffee and snacked on crackers late in the afternoon.

I feel swallowed up by the time. I am now completely alone for close to 40 hours a week. I feel sad.

I think I actually miss my boys and our so-called, haphazard schedule. I think I need a reason {besides work} to get up and get going. I think I need at least the semblance of structure. I need interaction with other people.

The hard part is that I'm not {and never have been} very productive in the morning hours. I am much more productive as the day wears on; the later it gets, the more alive I become. So, I still favor working late at night when my household is sleeping.

And yet, I want to be a part of the world outside my home of people coming and going and interacting and visiting and working and being productive all through the day.

Here is my plan, but remember I am inherently without structure. So, this will be hard, but….

1. Get up at same time every morning.
2. Get ready and leave the house.
3. Eat lunch {at lunch time}.
4. Work outside the house, as often as possible.
5. Have human interactions, even if just a stranger at a coffee shop.
6. Try to reach out to old friends and restart those friendships.
7. Start taking Vitamin D now {the darkness is coming….SAD}

Do you work from home; totally alone in your day….all day, every day? What do you do?

I have been working from home for 8 years, but 7 of those have been while juggling mommy duties. I am out-of-practice with having control of my whole day for 5 days in a row! Help! Over and out….

Anna

Plugged In {A False Sense of Urgency}

I check my phone when I get up. I open up my computer soon after that. I usually have at least 5 tabs open online at all times. I monitor email from three accounts, texts, Facebook notifications and messages and Twitter notifications and messages. I run several businesses and connect socially and read news. I stay connected.

Most of the time I like being connected; staying in touch; being accessible. Sometimes I need it to stop.

In this world of always being plugged in, tuned in and completely distracted all of the time, it's hard not to feel a sense of urgency….every minute of the day….every day of the week.

Even when on vacation (which is rare) or late at night or at dinner time or bed time or during family time or me time or any time, it's hard to tell everyone "I'm simply not available. I will get back to you soon" and just turn it all off.

We have created a culture that is never more than a fingertip away from a quick response. What a great way to connect and reply and inform and be informed. Except this connection sometimes feels like a burden.

If everyone always knows that you surely will see the text or message or email or voicemail there is a feeling of urgency. It will just take a second to tap out a quick response. It won't distract from your current undertaking.

Except that it is never just one tiny interruption.

We allow the "convenience" of technology to rule our lives. We allow ourselves to be duped by the idea that electronic interruptions won't detract from our being present in the moment with our families and friends. We allow ourselves to believe that we are being efficient and aiding others by immediately responding.

I am as guilty of this as anyone else. Alas, I am also guilty of sending communications to someone at night, on a weekend, when I know they are busy with family duties or otherwise occupied and anxiously awaiting a response; thinking surely he or she saw this text/message/email/voicemail and could quickly and easily respond….

Everyone and everything moves faster these days. Need a reminder of this? Just watch a movie from the 1980s and notice how slowly the plot unfolds and how deliberate each line is delivered and gauge your own antsy pants and how you want to check your phone for messages and the time and how you think to yourself, "I don't remember this movie moving so slowly."

I do so appreciate our speed in communications. I need it for my business. It's how I stay connected to friends and family. It keeps my life humming along.

But what I must remember is that I am in control of these electronic devices. I can decide when I will respond to their beeps and hums and vibrations. I will not feel a sense of urgency when I am "off" the clock.

I will look up and see the vibrantly colored leaves. I will watch my kids play at the park. I will listen to my husband's stories from the day. I will allow my brain to be uncluttered and sit quietly and patiently in that solitude. I will stick to my work schedule and that includes communications coming to me through my phone. I will enjoy the view. I will not feel that sense of urgency every minute of every day.

How about you? Over and out…

Anna

You Can’t Take Me Down

You, who would detract, pull down, stunt and otherwise destroy, be aware that you can't reach me. I will not allow your stifling atmosphere and your harmful tremors to permeate my exterior seeping poison, slowly breaking down my interior.

I refuse to build a protective, thicker skin though. I will feel the stings of the arrows, but I will not falter.

I will only gather more strength, more confidence and more determination from your attempts to break me.

I will learn more about myself. I will learn more about other people. I will take notes to remember how these quiet attacks have made me feel; so that I will not make others feel this way.

You are not the first, nor will you be the last, who has tried to topple me.

I am strong. I am genuine. I am fun. I am smart. I am creative. I am faithful. I am determined. I am confident. I am.

I will not take another minute of my precious time to think about, discuss or work out why. I will not hold you in contempt or direct ill will toward you; that will only allow the venom to spread; allowing you to take me down.

No, I will simply move on. I will seek out joy and inspiration and peace and encouragement that uplift and construct ideas and build spires reaching for the sky.

What will you choose? Over and out...

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {On Breaking Things}

Just because something is so, doesn't mean it always will be or should be. And just as there are things you should follow, there are also some things you should break. Often, breaking means breaking free from shackles that are holding you back from following those things you wish to pursue and wish to be. Don't be afraid to break things, especially #4. Breaking these things will only empower you and build character. If you don't break some things, it will be you who ends up broken in the end.

Here is my list of 5 things you should break:

1. Your Heart...at least a couple dozen times or more. Your heart can break over romances that end. Your heart can break over romances that seem doomed, but are recovered. Your heart can break upon the death of a dearly loved one. Your heart will break a thousand times or more once you become a parent. But our hearts have a way of mending themselves, wearing the scars as badges of a life well-lived and forging ahead.
2. Social Norms. Just because it's always been done this way or because it's the proper thing to do, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do or the only way of doing it. We are an evolving world. We must learn from our mistakes. We must have the courage to speak up for what we believe is right.
3. The Glass Ceiling. It's still there. Whether it's age, gender, sexual orientation, race or something else, that illusory cap does not have to stop you. It will if you let it. It's up to you to crack it and break through or maybe you'll be the one to shatter it for good.
4. Big Chocolate Bars. It's a good idea to keep a stash of chocolate...in case of emergencies. And if you break a giant bar into lots of smaller pieces it will last longer and the guilt will be lessened. I speak from experience here.
5. Bad Habits. Uh...it's just a coincidence that this point follows 4. Big Chocolate Bars....Really! If you do have a bad habit that negatively affects you or your family or is getting in the way of pursuing your dreams, it's time to say enough is enough and seek help. One thing to recognize though is that it must be you who decides it's time to put a stop to the bad habit. If someone else in your life tells you so, you should definitely listen, but if you aren't on board, you're not going to get very far.

What are you breaking? Over and out...

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {Current Events}

I have been strapped to my computer for weeks now working on my projects for which I get paid; and every once in a while I would reward myself with surfing Facebook or news sites for stories to read. I bookmarked quite a few for future posts, but I thought I'd share a few that make me think, shake my head or put a smile on my face.

Here are 5 such headlines:

1. This one got to me because I can see myself in these parents' shoes. I tried to think what should they have done differently? What would I have done differently? But I think what they did was reasonable and something I could have done myself: Captain Diverted Plane because Parents Make Complaint about In-flight Movie.
2. Although I'm not personally touched by autism, I am fascinated by the research and treatment regarding autism. This is an important piece of legislation to watch if you are in Georgia or any of the other 17 states that don't provide that insurance must cover treatment for autism. Plus the treatments described in this article are encouraging and the stories uplifting: Mothers Fight to Pass Ava's Law for Autism Coverage.
3. I'm OK with this trend. I'm not a fan of tobacco. It stinks; it's unhealthy; and I'm sorry if that is offensive to you, but this is my opinion, and I wouldn't hire someone who smelled like cigarettes if put in such a position: Smoking Harmful to Your Employment.
4. I love A Farmgirl's Dabbles. Brenda's recipes and photos are amazing. I always pause and click when I see Brenda post a recipe link on Facebook. And when I came across this recipe. Ohhhhhh, my mouth watered... I may have even drooled a bit. I will be making this: Sweet-and-Salty Honey- Cheese Spread!
5. Lastly, I found this article interesting considering how often I see these henna tattoo vendors at local fairs and festivals and other events. This temporary body art can be quite beautiful and the lines are usually long and full of children. But beware and think twice before you or your child gets in this line: Temporary Black Henna Tattoos Could Leave Permanent Scarring.

Have a wonderful weekend! Over and out...

Anna

The Luxury of Time {A Daydream}

If I had unlimited funds, this is what I would do.....

Volunteer for weekly shifts with the St. Vincent de Paul organization in my church....before I had kids I did this and it was immensely rewarding, gut-wrenching and such a blessing. They do great things with very few resources...

Travel with my family on a regular basis.... in our country, out of our country, covering many terrains, cultures, languages and foods...

Paint...on canvas...it's something I've been wanting to try...

Create funds for school lunches, school supplies, school programs and trips, give funds to food pantry programs, animal shelters and those in need of basic necessities...

Write and write and write to my heart's content....

Hire someone to clean my house, take care of my yard and do administrative tasks for me...

Buy a nice camera, learn how to use and snap tons of beautiful photos...

Spend lots of time in the kitchen baking, cooking, creating...

Read books, one after another...

Some of these sound simple and cheap; things one could do without having unlimited funds. It's true, but the issue becomes time; time is money, as the saying goes. And when you are self-employed, as I am, that is definitely true. So, for me, unlimited funds, means time....time to choose how to fill my hours, days, months. And this is how I would fill them. What would you do? Over and out...

Anna

My Life...So Far {38 Lessons}

Life is a constant lesson. Just when you think you've got a hold on it and you've learned everything the world can teach you, a new saga begins. But without these adventures, trials, heartbreaks and triumphs life would be dull and lifeless; at least that's what I keep telling myself.

I have lived almost 38 years on this earth, and I've been thinking about the lessons I've learned over the years. And here they are; 39 of them:

1. Stepping out of your comfort zone is always worth it;
2. Quietly taking in your surroundings and evaluating the situation can be very helpful in future dealings;
3. Always take each opportunity that comes your way; it may not present itself ever again;
4. Surround yourself with pets; you will always feel loved and understood, even when the world doesn't get you;
5. Be true to yourself; this can be hard when your heart falls hard and leads the way {in the wrong direction};
6. Fall in love, even if it might mean getting hurt; it's worth it;
7. Stand up for what you believe is right;
8. Never compromise when it means giving up on a dream;
9. Even if dreams have to be shelved for a while, don't let them stay on the shelf so long that they become unrecognizable;
10. Never give up...not ever; not even on the darkest nights; the morning will come;
11. When one road is closed, start searching for alternate routes....there's always at least one;
12. Be your own cheerleader;
13. You can always come home...or call home; my parents are my rock, my life support, my ultimate fans;
14. My relationship with my brother is one of the most important ones in my life;
15. My sorority sisters are my sisters and true friends; I love them and when I'm with them we are still 20 and the years and miles between us are erased;
16. My husband does more for me, our family and our home than most husbands do, and I should show more appreciation than I do;
17. Brand new love is the most exciting, but old love is the most reassuring;
18. Love at first sight...or first dance...or first conversation happens;
19. Say what you mean and mean what you say;
20. Sometimes it's best to bite your tongue and leave a few things unsaid {a tough lesson for me};
21. Life can be disappointing, but whether it continues to be disappointing is up to you;
22. Loss hurts...acknowledge it....feel it...grieve and then get back to living life;
23. Take a chance...again....and again...and again;
24. Move...live in different cities... states...countries, if you can;
25. Being a mom has filled my life, but being a mom is not my whole life;
26. Be present; soak up the here and now because the days, months and years fly by;
27. Kids complicate things, bring out the best and worst, but the joy they add and lessons they teach are worth it;
28. Waiting to have kids was one of the best things we did for our marriage;
29. Never miss the chance to tell your child you love him;
30. Advocate for your children; you know them better than anyone else;
31. Always say you're sorry when you've made a mistake or said something that was hurtful;
32. Swallow your pride; you won't choke on it, but you'll end up playing the part of the pompous fool if you don't;
33. Dance anytime you have a chance....who cares what you look like {this took me a long time to realize};
34. Pray without ceasing;
35. Believe in miracles;
36. Speak from your heart; everyone has something important to say; don't be afraid to tell your story;
37. Sleep when you can;
38. Read only books you love; books that speak to you; otherwise, you're wasting your time; and one to grow on....
39. You don't have to live every minute of every day because that's exhausting, but do your best to live while you can.

I think I pretty much covered the big ones, but there are more, of course. And I the older I get the more transparent the life lessons become. What has life taught you? Over and out...

Anna

Time Crunch: On a Deadline

Character Traits

Character Flaw: I'm perpetually behind; always running late.

Strong Point: I'm relentless; always pursuing passions and developing ideas

Character Flaw: I take on many projects at one time; often out of necessity

Strong Point: I have many interests and can carry a conversation on a wide range of topics; I'm always looking to learn more; discover opportunities and make the most of life.

Character Flaw: I have no concept of time.

Strong Point: I can go and go and go; eventually I crash, but I can sustain an insane schedule for a while; when and if I need to. I can even look and sound as if I'm getting the proper amount of sleep.

Character Flaw: Sometimes I open my mouth when I shouldn't; and sometimes I simply talk too much.

Strong Point: I'm not afraid to stand up for what I believe in and defend those who cannot defend themselves.

Character Flaw: I rarely ask someone for help; when I do it means I don't have any other options; I'm at the end of my rope.

Strong Point: I'm extremely resourceful; I can do a lot with very little; I have tons of drive.

Schedules

It's hard to keep up with my crazy schedule sometimes. I never have fewer than 3 or 4 irons in the fire at one time. And spring always seems to be the busiest of seasons for me.

So, at this moment I'm bogged down under heavy piles of work; the creative juices running slow and the time to pound out posts is meager at best. So, just bear with me as I get through these next few months.

Time Lines

Here are a few of my fave posts on time or balance or employment decisions. Moms, you understand the pressure to do so much for everyone day in and day out. I imagine you'll identify with these posts too.

Trying to stay focused: Making Time to Save Money on Organic Products

Striking a Balance: Tips for Effective Decision Making

Blurring the Lines: Work/Life Balance

"Choosing" Work Over Baby: The Reality of Parental Leave in the United States

 

The Scoop

As I struggle to juggle the balls and keep them all in the air at the same time, please journey back into the Motherly Law archives. I actually can't juggle and must rely on sleight of hand and optical illusions to pull off my schedule each week. Over and out...

Anna

Making Ends Meet; Moms Turning to Phone Sex Industry {On a Soapbox}

Have you ever had to choose between paying the mortgage and buying groceries? Have you ever had to swallow your pride whole and ask family for financial help? Have you ever looked at the amount in your bank account and prayed that nothing went through until you had a check or known that you were at the bottom of the barrel and if even one unplanned and unforeseen expense came up, you were done for? Have you ever tasted the bitterness of desperation?

If you have, then you know what this dark, swirling vortex feels like when it begins to pull you under? If you haven't, then say a prayer of thankfulness.

In this economy, there is a lot of need; a number of people without jobs or in a low paying job; without resources; losing ground every day. These are people like you and me; they are not lazy, good-for-nothing bums looking for a handout. I'm talking about hard working, educated people; young graduates, parents of young kids, those nearing the years that were supposed to be golden; all ages; all demographics.

I recently came across an astounding statistic that I think is quite telling of the economic state of our country. Good Morning America reported in December 2011, "The number of mothers pursuing sex work has increased by 400 percent over the past 18 months alone, according to Rat Race Rebellion, an organization that specializes in finding jobs for mothers who need to work from home."

A surge of 400 percent is a big deal. Thousands of moms are now working as phone sex operators because the pay is good, ranging between $10 to $50 per hour or much more, the hours are flexible, they can work from home and it's legal. While the phone sex industry has benefitted the most from this demographic, strip clubs and other adult entertainment industries have reported a surge in the number of applications received from women.

Place judgment and blame where you will, but unless you've experienced absolute desperation, not knowing how you're going to support your family, pay bills and keep a roof over your head, don't judge these women. A mom's primary goal is to survive in order take care of her family; this is a survival mechanism. This work, just like any other job, ensures that there are meals on the table, beds to sleep in and clothes on their backs.

Many say that if they could afford to walk away from this work they would, but they simply cannot. When politicians and religious leaders speak of family values, I doubt this is what they have in mind, but these are parents who are doing whatever it takes to keep their family together. To me, that's what family values are about; loving each other and working to make it work; beating the odds; making it to the other side without drowning. Over and out...

Anna

The Land of Opportunity No More {On a Soapbox}

That Which is Lost

Where is this land of opportunity our forefathers have written about? Where is this land of plenty where ingenuity and hard work are rewarded? Where is this land of promise where those who want to work and strive to grow and create and help are given the chance? Once, this place was the United States of America, but I would argue those days are gone.

Gone are the days that bright, young professionals full of dreams and ideas could by chance meet a big wig executive in an elevator on the 1^st floor and have a job working under this exec by the 21^st floor. Gone are the days that a person without exactly the right qualifications, but with the drive and smarts to excel in a particular job applied for and got an {in-person} interview and was hired. Gone are days that people could do something simply because it was the right thing to do and not worry that some red tape somewhere down the road would cause a conflict.

A rather dreary outlook, you say? Perhaps, but would you argue with these statements? I am certainly not saying that these things never happen, but in today's world luck, connections and wealth are the most important components to succeeding in life.

What Has Happened?

I realize that everyone has a different idea of how to define the word "success", but even still stop and think about the most powerful people in our country {and by power I mean influence, dollars paid and amount of control} and you will see what I mean. Ultimately, it comes down to luck, connections and wealth.

The legislators, the courts, corporate America and human resources departments have placed so many limits and restrictions and have driven up costs and requirements and forms to be submitted that we have lost much of our willingness to give people a chance and our spirit of enterprise.

It's unheard of to actually go to an office and drop off a resume in hopes of catching the boss in and having an interview right at that moment or scoring some points based on your appearance or just happening to walk in the right place at the right time. And chances are if you did drop off your resume in person, the receptionist at the front desk sitting in front of the big doors that lead to all the other employees would politely tell you to please fill out the e-application on their website.

Even if you are given a chance at an interview, chances are, you'll first fill out an online "survey", move on to a boiler plate Q &A with the HR rep over the phone and then just maybe score an in-person interview with the most junior person on the team. And if you don't match every single qualification listed; you will never be contacted in any form.

Those Without a Job Need Not Apply

One of the most discouraging, completely lunatic policies recently emerging from the corporate back rooms is that they will not hire someone who doesn't have a job at the time of the interview or have for a very short time been without a job. The argument is that people who have been laid off, fired or have taken some time off for any reason are lazy, dull-headed and overall poor employees, having been out of the work force.

This is utterly ridiculous considering the economy we are living in. I recently read an article that contradicted that assumption. A study had been done that showed that in the first two weeks or so of losing a job for any reason, the person floundered a bit, watched more TV, read books and was basically inactive. After those two weeks, the vast majority of those people began looking for work and/or taking on more house duties, such as cleaning, taking care of kids and elderly family members, doing the laundry and cooking and running errands. Others began volunteering or helping neighbors, working on projects that had been put off due to work schedules, etc. Very few of those without jobs continued to pursue a lazy lifestyle.

It is shocking to me that those who could very well be in that same position the following day, week or year, would introduce such a policy. What kind of message does this send to college students or recent grads; what kind of future are we offering our children if the parents can't get jobs because they are out of a job through no fault of their own or even because of a fault of their own, but are looking for work?

All Hail the Almighty Dollar

To me, this screams of elitism, fascism and narrow-mindedness. For today, our country is still a democracy, at least in name, which means we are still free to think and dream and create our own opportunities.

These entrepreneurs who create their own opportunities are bright, feisty, fresh and diligent, but that's often not enough today. Regardless of how brilliant an idea or how perfect a plan or how amazing a dream NOTHING speaks louder than the Almighty Dollar. And cold, hard cash is something most unemployed, under-employed and freshly graduated would-be leaders of industry do not have enough of.

The Scoop

Which brings me to this question; is the poem inscribed at the base of our Lady Liberty still relevant?

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of you teamming shore. Send these, homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

 

From New Colossus by Emma Lazarus

I would argue no. Those who are in control of our country do not want to deal with those who are wanting of anything, especially those who come from outside our shores. Even those who want to work in order to not be tired, poor and homeless {or those who are nearly homeless, as in the case of foreclosure} will find that they are cast aside by the captains of industry and the "pawns" in the capitols of our country. Over and out...

Anna

The Sign Said to Take a Chance: Well, Here Goes.... {A New Business}

A Chance

The sign said, "Take at Least One." At the bottom of the piece of paper were little tabs to rip off that usually have contact information listed. This one had little tabs with just two words... "A Chance." I don't know who pinned this sign up on the Caribou Coffee bulletin board, but I thought it was clever and it got me to thinking.

Was this a sign I should be paying attention to? Have I taken many risks lately? Am I putting myself out there enough? What's too risky? What's not risky enough? Does it mean I'm not taking risks if I have to ask these questions?

Risky Business    

Honestly, I feel like that the last two years have been one risk after another with the start of launching Motherly Law in March of 2010. I have put myself out there, utterly exposed and vulnerable, in cyberspace and in the tangible space too. I have tried this and that. I have strived to grow as a writer and thinker and doer.

Then, after Will found himself in search of a job, under circumstances not of our choosing, we decided to pursue entrepreneurship and grow a business in social media consulting. Now, recall that I'm an independent contractor for a legal publisher and a freelance writer.

This is no life for the weak. This is a life of no regular paychecks; no benefits of any kind. There is little assurance of anything.

Well, I have decided to take another "chance." I am launching a new business today {in addition to everything we are doing}. I am now......hold onto your hats....this is going to surprise you....a Norwex Independent Sales Consultant. I know, I know; I, myself, am still shocked when I step back and think about this statement. Now, wait, bear with me. I'm going to answer your questions: 1) What the Heck is Norwex? 2) Why this Product? and 3) Why Now?

What the Heck is Norwex?

Norwex's mission statement is this: To improve the quality of life by radically reducing the use of chemicals in personal care and cleaning.

Norwex cloths are an antibacterial microfiber. To use the cloths for cleaning all kinds of surfaces and spots and stains, simply add water. Nothing more is needed. How is this possible, you ask? Well, the microfiber cloth goes beyond surface clean because there is a silver-based inorganic antimicrobial agent physically and chemically bonded to the fiber of the cloth. The microfiber picks up and locks in the odor-causing/illness-causing bacteria into the fibers and the silver agent destroys the bacteria.

These cloths eliminate cross-contamination on surfaces or hands; are easy to use, launder when needed and use again; will reduce the amount of chemicals your family uses and absorbs; and cleans really well.

The cleaning products are enzyme-based and continue to work on a surface until all material to be cleaned away is gone and then the cleaner itself breaks down to Carbon Dioxide and Oxygen. These enzymes are naturally occurring and are not at all harmful to humans, pets or plants.

Additionally, there are personal care cloths for the bathroom that gently exfoliate your skin and clean makeup {including mascara} from your face without the use of soap and softer, gentler cloths for kids and babies. There are even cloths for your pets and much, much more. For additional information {and believe me there is additional information} go to the FAQ page on my website.

Why This Product?

I am passionate about these products. Norwex has already changed the way I clean; and more importantly it has changed the way I think about cleaning solutions filled with chemicals.

This sounds trite and canned, but it's the absolute truth. Since getting our Norwex products, Will and I have not wanted to stop cleaning and trying Norwex products out on various stains, spots and hard to reach grime; cleaning counters, floors, toilets, appliances and skin {there are bath towels too}; you name it. Our Norwex products have stood up to each task presented and have not let us down.

The first thing I cleaned with my Norwex Envirocloth was the dining room rug below Darling 1's chair. Bless his heart; he is the messiest eater no matter how hard he tries not to be. There are always spots and stains beneath his seating area. I have tried to get the spots up with various cleaners. I took the Envirocloth, got it wet, wrung it out and started scrubbing the spots on the rug. Every last one of them came up with ease. The rug looked brand new; and I was sold.

And that was just the start. I think it will revolutionize the way you view cleaning your home, your clothes and your body as it has done for us.

Why Now?

To be frank with you, and you know I always am, we need to increase our income so that we can focus on building Will's business and my writing portfolio; our passions. But I also look forward to the challenges of improving my communication skills and presentation style. I am excited about gaining business acumen. And I honestly believe these products will save time and money, promote health and better the environment.

The Scoop {This Part is Important}

So, here I go, starting the New Year with a Clean slate, so to speak, and taking "A Chance." If you love me or even if you just slightly tolerate me any and all support and encouragement is much appreciated. One way to support me is to Like my Anna Berend – Norwex Independent Sales Consultant Facebook Fan Page and/or Follow me on Twitter @AnnaBerend. Another way to support this endeavor is to check out my Norwex website: annaberend.norwex.biz.

If you are interested in hosting a party {there are really great gifts involved, plus it's a fun gathering of your friends} or you just want to learn more about these products and why I love them so much, please email me at [email protected] or leave a comment below. I would love to talk to you. I am hosting a launch party on Sunday, January 15^th. If you would like to attend let me know {evites will be going out soon to those whose addresses I have}.

As soon as I get my URL approved, I will launch my accompanying blog that will regale you on achieving a new State of Clean with Norwex product reviews and the philosophy and science behind these products, etc. So, stay tuned for that information in the near future.

Ready or not, here I come 2012. Oh, and Katy, stop laughing. I know; I'm eating my words. Over and out....

Anna

Occupiers: Go Home {On a Soapbox}

Honestly, when I read the accounts of what's happening at various Occupy {Take your pick of cities} all I see if a bunch of unruly kids acting poorly. Let me stress that I am nowhere near being included in the 1% of the wealthy Americans. I join the protesters in their frustrations of Wall Street and all it has come to represent. We work hard and never seem to get anywhere; gas, groceries, clothes, healthcare and everything else just keep rising in cost, even when income does not.

That being said, I don't think this protest is the way to accomplish anything. I see people trashing public streets, parks and plazas; I see police being called away from other areas of the various cities where police presence is essential to protect people from crime; I see criminal activity, such as drug use and even a drug overdose at the "campsites"; I see rudeness and crudeness to employees who are simply trying to get inside a building to their offices and do their jobs so that they can make a living; I see people injuring police officers who are just following their orders so that they may keep their jobs; I see people who may have started with good intentions looking a lot like the bad guys now.

The destruction of public property and need for extra police detail is only using up precious taxpayer money; money that could have gone to help those who go to bed hungry; those who can't afford heat in the winter; those who have no coats; those who have no shelter; those who are searching for jobs; those who are trying to make ends meet despite working countless hours day in and day out; those who are the furthest from the elite 1%.

When it's all said and done, when we move on and this is but a vague memory, will Occupy Wall Street and its offspring Occupies have accomplished anything positive? I think not.

I'm disappointed in the way these people, who I think mean well, have conducted themselves. While I agree with the idea with which they hatched this plan, I don't condone how they have gone about trying to make a statement. They are beginning to harm those whom they are technically representing; police, those "fighting for the cause", employees who are not part of the 1%, but happen to work in the financial districts and industries, etc.

So, Occupiers, I speak to you. Pick up your water bottles, coffee cups, sleeping bags, tarps, pillows, bullhorns and cardboard signs, repair any damage you have done to publicly owned statues, benches, roads or paths, replace any uprooted or smashed flowers, shrubs or trees, leave things as they were when you arrived and go home. There are other ways. You're creative and inventive; you can think of something more peaceful and less destructive. Over and out...

Anna

 

 

The List: 11 Ways Moms are Like Criminal Defense Attorneys

1. Moms know how to ask the right questions to get the evidence they need;
2. Moms can think on their feet with lightning speed without giving away too much information;
3. Moms know how to sweet talk someone in authority and get what they want;
4. Moms can quickly and easily hide disappointment when they don't get what they want;
5. Moms can read between the lines when hearing "testimony" from one of their "witnesses" on the "stand."
6. Moms know when to call for a recess;
7. Moms always have an agenda for the day;
8. Moms put in lots of "billable" hours; they just don't get paid much for their work;
9. Moms know when to cut their losses and move on to Plan B when Plan A goes awry;
10. Moms always have to have extra clothes on hand in case their little charges get dirty or aren't projecting the right image; and
11. Moms will work like hell to protect their kids and make sure no untruth is pinned on them.

     

Everyone loves to hate an attorney; and who doesn't know a lawyer joke {besides me}, but when it comes down to it, moms are a lot like attorneys. And let's face it, most of us need our moms and most will need an attorney at some point.

I think moms are especially like criminal defense attorneys. Criminal defense attorneys get a bad rap for defending those charged with a crime, but that is their job. They feel that everyone deserves to be tried in a court of law with evidence presented against them, have the chance to counter that evidence, question that evidence and in some cases, tell their side of the story. It wasn't until law school that I truly understood how or why someone would choose to go that route in the field of law.

Moms get picked on, judged and blamed if their kids are acting up, look sloppy, aren't polite, etc. Moms have a lot on their plates and we must each do the best we can with what we've got; just as a criminal defense attorney does. And the long and short of it is, if you, your spouse or your kids were charged with a crime you or they didn't commit, you'd want that criminal defense attorney working on your case with the dedication of a mom. Over and out....

Anna

Coffee with Anna Vlog Edition #3: Python Kills Toddler; Teacher Fired for Pumping Breast Milk, Failure to Report Child Missing a Felony & a Giveaway

  

Good Morning! On the agenda today:

• In the vlog I discuss several articles and I've got links for you in case you want to read more:
  • Python Kills Toddler; Mother Convicted of Manslaughter
  • Teacher Fired for Pumping Breast Milk
  • Proposed Legislation for Felony Charge for Failing to Report Child Missing
• If you haven't read this week's posts on bouncy house safety and liability, go read them. It's important! It could save your child's life and your savings account; or both.
• By the way, I'm giving something away tomorrow at 10 a.m. Listen to the whole vlog to find out what it is and how to enter. 
• It's much easier to write than to vlog. So, I'm going to do 1 more and then evaluate whether to continue with this format. Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

Have a great weekend! Over and out...

Anna

Baby Steps: Learning to be Patient with Our New Endeavors

The best laid schemes of mice and men, go oft awry.

        ~From the poem, To a Mouse by Robert Burns

 Change is Good

At the end of winter and the beginning of spring this year, along with melting and budding and greening that the changing of the seasons brings, our household was making changes too. Dear Husband, Will, was forced to start looking for a new job; a new career. After a bit of searching, both on the job boards and in the soul, and a whole lot of brainstorming and praying, he decided to make a business plan and start a social media consulting business.

In May of this year, he opened the doors, so to speak, by launching his website for Open Door Consulting, Inc. Each day brings ups and downs in this new endeavor. We are ever hopeful, optimistic and yet realistic too. As with every new business, each step taken is a baby step ...hopefully, a step in the right direction.

We did not plan to open a business. We did not mean to both be self employed, but life happens and we must be resourceful and creative and learn to cope. Little by little, Open Door is gaining momentum.

The Written Word

This week, Will launched Open Door's Blog, The Key Word. His goal is to write interesting, informative, key posts on social media topics that run the gamut from online networking, analytical tools, social media tips in general to specific social media platforms, tricks of the trade, business blogging, Will's own experiences, opinions and practices.

Will intends to post 3 to 5 times per week. And guess what? Yours truly will be helping out by posting once or twice a week over at The Key Word. While these posts will specifically be aimed at businesses using social media, anyone using social media platforms for work or play or a little of both, will likely gain some insight and some know how from these articles.

My first post at The Key Word is up today. So, please go check it out and find out why every business should be have a blog. And feel free to drop Will a line of encouragement over on Open Door's website.

The Scoop

Do you have a business? Do you use social media? Do you hire someone to help with social media? Talk to me, folks. Over and out....

Anna

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A Matter of Policy: The Repeal of DADT

Bad Policies

In the wee hours of the morning the pitter patter of little feet can be heard making their way to our bed. This happens twice every night; Darling 2 and then Darling 1, until our bed is crowded and cramped. I don't know how or why it began, but more than likely we allowed it to preserve our sleep and theirs. Sleep is a much sought after, hot commodity in our household.

Plus it was sweet to cuddle up with my little, sleeping Darlings. Now, it's still sweet, but they have grown...a lot; and it's more irritating than anything else to have a knee sticking in my back and an elbow jabbed into my neck. It's a bad policy to have, and we should do something to put an end to it, but that would mean less sleep for me.

Much like our little morning bed crashers, the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT) military policy has gone on too long. DADT prohibits military personnel from discriminating against or harassing homosexual or bisexual service members or applicant and bars openly gay, lesbian or bisexual persons from military service.

Time for Change

It seems as though talk of repealing this policy has gone on forever. Finally, in Dec. 2010, this policy was repealed by Congress. Just last week, President Obama certified that the repeal would not harm the military's readiness, which means that after 17 years, it will be repealed on Sept. 20, 2011.

Months ago, after Congress passed the repeal of this policy the military branches began the process of preparing the soldiers for this change in policy by training staff and soldiers. The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Navy Adm. Mike Mullen, has assured Pres. Obama that the military is ready to implement this change in policy without missing a beat.

The Undersecretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness stated that this change "is all about leadership, professionalism, discipline and respect" for the military. Pres. Obama stated, "Our military will no longer be deprived of the talents and skills of patriotic Americans just because they happen to be gay or lesbian."

What Does It Mean?

So, what exactly does the repeal mean? It means that men and women will be able to serve our country and be true to who they are at the same time. Sexual orientation will no longer be an issue in regards to military service, and those who were discharged solely under DADT may reapply for re-entry into the military.

Pentagon staff will be taking a close look at sexual orientation neutral benefits. Service members can designate partners as beneficiaries on life insurance policies, thrift savings plans and survivor benefits. However, the Defense of Marriage Act does prohibit extending some military benefits to same-sex couples.

For gay and lesbian service members with partners and/or children from a same-sex relationship this means that they will be able to say goodbye to their loved ones before deployments; be greeted by family and loved ones upon arriving back home; freely talk about their families and friends with other service members; stop living in fear that their carefully maintained heterosexual façade might slip and expose who they truly are; and provide for their loved ones in the event of death. Essentially this repeal will afford gay or lesbian soldiers the same freedoms as heterosexual soldiers.

For future generations of service members this means that our children who feel the call to serve their country can do so without feeling shame, inadequacy or fear regarding his or her sexual orientation. The repeal of DADT means that children of gay and lesbian service members can feel pride and honor about their parents who serve and protect their country.

The Scoop

Why should people who want to serve their country and protect their fellow compatriots be limited, confined, punished, harassed, abused or shunned because of their sexual orientation? They shouldn't be. I'm glad there are citizens who feel the need to serve their country and join the military. I feel deep appreciation for all service members; and I thank them for their dedication. Over and out...

Anna

You might also like:

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The List: My Televac Personality Analysis

Purging in the Basement

This past week, we spent a lot of time in our basement culling through, cleaning out, reorganizing, combining and throwing out. It felt good to purge and start fresh. I enjoy doing this every so often going through every room, closet, cabinet and drawer in the house. I tend to want to save things, and then after a time of not needing or using items, I'm ready to get rid of it. Of course, there are some things that I keep just to keep.

In so doing, I looked at a lot of old pictures, read old papers written in grade school, college and law school and went through the tiny baby clothes deemed keepsake worthy. In a box of various items from college I came across an old yellowing piece of paper stapled to an index card-sized paper with my signature and entitled "Televac Personality Analysis." The printout indicated that I got this personality analysis at the Tri-State Fair back in 1995.

The Personality Analysis

Back in 1995, when my parents and I went to the fair, we encountered the Televac Personality Analysis booth in one of the buildings. We thought it would be fun to give it t shot. After paying $1.50, I simply signed my whole name on the index sized-paper and watched the paper get fed into a machine and spit out a list of my personality traits based on an examination of my handwriting. While I did this analysis for fun, it's surprising how accurate this list of personality traits is.

Here's my Televac Personality Analysis:

1. You prefer to have a few secrets;
2. You are always ready to try new ideas or take a fresh approach;
3. You are afraid of being overlooked by others;
4. You sometimes tend to be overconfident;
5. Your persuasive manner makes you used to having your own way;
6. Adventurous and daring, you will take risks to get the things you want;
7. Your bark is much, much worse than your bite;
8. You are independent and like making your own decisions;
9. You adapt well to new situations;
10. In thought and action you are positive and aggressive;
11. You can be a tyrant at home and difficult to live with; and
12. You have a playful spirit and positive attitude.

Perhaps somewhat general; perhaps it could fit many people; but, for better or worse, it does sound a lot like me.

Graphology

This handwriting analysis is called graphology. Graphology has been around a very long time, dating back to China 3000 years ago. The specific features and techniques of graphology were clarified and defined by French clerics in the late 1800s. Some consider it to be a serious science, and others view the practice as a pseudoscience without any validating evidence.

Proponents of graphology argue that it can be used in relationships for compatibility purposes; in education for discovering hidden talents and skills; in personnel selection for finding the person who best fits the position; in career counseling for matching personality traits and professions; and counseling sessions for helping understand one's self.

Graphologists use over 300 features to "read" a person's handwriting. Some of the basic features include:

• Slant {left, right or upright} Left indicate emotion and reserve; Right indicates a response to communication, but not how to convey the communication; Upright show independence;
• Size {over 9 mm = large; under 9 mm = small} Large can indicate extravert or at least an outward showing of confidence; Small could mean shyness or introvert;
• Pressure {Heavy or Light} Heavy pressure points to responsibility and commitment; Light pressure indicates sensitivity and empathy; Too Heavy means uptight and quick reactions in a negative manner; Light, but Uneven shows a lack of vitality;
• Page Margins {Left or Right} Wide Left margins may indicate wish to move on; Narrow Left margins points to caution and biding one's time; Wide Right margins can show some fear of the unknown; and Narrow Right margins indicate impatience and readiness to get things going;
• Word Spacing {Wide or Narrow, based on the width of one letter of a person's handwriting} Wide spaces indicate a need of space; Narrow spaces show a need of sociability, but it might be crowding and intrusive to others; and
• Other features include upper {l, t, h, etc.}, middle {a, c, e, etc.} and lower {g, y, p, etc.} zones; thread and wavyline writing, etc.

For more information on graphology and features examined, see article by Elaine Quigley at http://www.businessballs.com

The Scoop

My analysis was done by a machine, true; but there are certified graphologists who perform these studies with great care.

As with other such practices, palm reading and other fortune telling techniques, astrology, personality tests and profiles, etc., it's easy to grasp on to any vague statements that can apply to many of us and in many different situations and take them to be unique and personal. Is this the same thing or is our handwriting a mirror into our souls indicating our strengths, weaknesses, passions, confidences, fears, tendencies, etc.? Over and out....

Anna