Hanging By a Thread

Where to Begin: Tips for Homeschooling Your Child Part 1

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we have nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

    ~ From A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

Isn't that the most magnificent first sentence of a book! While Dickens was referring to two cities, Paris and London, during the French Revolution, it turns out this sentence can be applied to many time periods and circumstances. I happen to think it's a good summation of where we are in 2020.

The pandemic has caused fear, heartbreak, anxiety and uncertainty for all, truly. However, for many, it is much worse, with food, shelter and employment insecurities, safety concerns, and firsthand loss. For others, it has become a time of working from home, spending more time at home with family playing games, watching movies, putting together puzzles, working on home improvements, reading lots of books, tending to the yard and garden, and generally enjoying the slowed and simplified life imposed by isolation and shut-downs. If you belong to this latter group, as I do, please know you are privileged, and count your blessings.

At this time, in the middle of summer, many parents are contemplating whether to send their kids back to public/private schools in the fall and what that will look like for their family. Some parents are not happy with distance learning, some are worried about in-person classrooms, others are wondering what it might be like to homeschool their kids for a year or more, after having them out of school distance learning for 3 months of the last school year.

I have had several friends ask me directly and read numerous posts on the MN Homeschool Facebook pages regarding homeschooling for this upcoming school year. Their questions are basically:

1. Where do I start?

2. What do I have to teach?

3. Where do you get your curriculum/What do you recommend?

4. How much time does it take each day?

So, I decided I would answer these questions and share with you my opinion on the matter. It's important to note that I did say MY OPINION. You can take it or leave it. After five years homeschooling my kids after four years of public and private schools, I think I have a perspective that could be helpful to those weighing this decision.

1. Where do I start?

It's quite easy to officially begin. You simply fill out the very short Intention to Homeschool form and send it to your school district's Superintendent. However, it is the planning and mental commitment that will take more time and energy. If you are in a state other than Minnesota, please start by looking up your state's homeschooling requirements.

First of all, you must consider what your goals are for your family. Homeschool, especially if it will be done for just one "pandemic" year can be a replica of what your child would receive from public school, a mix and match of basic curriculum, including math, reading, grammar/spelling and whatever else you choose to study, a very relaxed reading, play, home skills based education, tailored to your kids' ages and interests, an online school that is very hands-off for the parents or something entirely different. The point is it is up to you and your kids what and how and when you study.

Each family has a different set of reasons for deciding to homeschool. I do realize that this year is different though and many who would normally have never considered it are pondering it now.

I started homeschooling my two boys five years ago because my kids are dyslexic and were not getting what they needed from their public school and the amazing private school was too expensive for our kids to continue there. It worked out well for us, and now my dyslexic kids love reading and both read well above their grade levels and have for several years now. We continue to homeschool because we came to love the flexibility it gave us to travel, go on lots of hands-on field trips and choose how and what we study. I want my kids to really love learning. Honestly, there are days that we all question why we are doing this and there are subjects (math) that we all hate, but most days we love our set up.

I I suggest you sit down and outline what you and your kids hope to gain through this unusual, but really could be awesome, opportunity to educate and spend a lot of quality time together.

I will say that if your kid is in high school, and you truly mean to homeschool for only this coming year, I recommend calling the guidance counselor at their school and talking to them about what your kid should study for this year. This way your child can seamlessly go back to public/private school. How and where and when your kid studies the recommended or necessary classes is still up to you. Just create a transcript for your child and keep track of what they are studying.

2. What do I have to teach?

Minnesota law is not specific to how, when, why, or to what extent you teach subjects. It simply says that homeschool education must cover reading, writing, literature, fine arts, math, science, history, geography, health and physical education. Many homeschooling families could easily say these topics are covered on a daily basis.

We start with the basics each year: math and grammar/spelling/reading. I have switched curriculums several times over the years and usually use several materials at once. Then, we discuss what we want to focus on for history, science & literature. I don't buy curriculum for these subjects. I buy books and do research for online activities, lessons, documentaries, field trips, online classes, etc. I toss in typing, art (studying artists, visiting museums, making our own art, etc), PE (any physical activities we choose: nature walks, skiing, snowshoeing, archery, shooting hoops in the driveway, dancing, etc.) and some extracurricular activities (which are limited this year, of course).

I'll answer the last two questions in Part 2 to be posted right after this one. I tend to get a little long winded.

Here are a couple of "pro" tips:

• I write out a lesson plan for the week on Sunday night. Really each week can be and often is a little different based on our schedule and what we are studying. I have picked up $3 lesson plan books at Target for the past several years, and they work just fine.
• Check out Homeschool Adventures website for all kinds of classes, activities, field trips. It is a wonderful resource for getting out and exploring and learning, even if much of it will be virtual this year.
• Ordway Education offers amazing programming for an equally amazing cost. Again, I'm not sure what that will look like this year with no programming until spring, but check out their website for past performances and educational material.
• Believe in yourself, learn as you go, trust your kids and your gut and if you are doing this for just one year, you will not ruin your kids' academic progress/future even if you do almost nothing….although I do not suggest you do nothing. I recommend that you embrace this opportunity to spend some amazing time learning with your kids.

Check out Part 2 for answers to Questions 3 and 4.

Over and out…

Anna

The Power of Impact

To start with, I've had a bad cold. I got it from my boys over the weekend while traveling. Of course, it means nothing when mom gets a cold. Life goes on. So, I have been tired and cranky and generally feeling cruddy all week. Thursday was no exception, but then my mood got worse. And on Friday, I woke with a tremendously heavy sadness on my heart and mind. Here's why.

On, Thursday, the boys and I spent the day with my computer or phone on a live feed of the Senate Judiciary Committee, watching both Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and Judge Brett Kavanaugh testify before the nation.

I knew only her story and very little else about Dr. Ford before her testimony. I thought I believed her story, but was anxious to hear her and see her tell her side of things to determine her credibility in my own mind…not that my opinion of her matters in the least.

I was struck by her calm, yet genuine and terrified-beneath-the-surface demeanor. I understood how she felt sitting there sharing her most devastating details of shame and guilt and confusion and sadness and aloneness that she has been carrying with her for 36 years. My heart went out to her.

We listened to her words and watched her face and heard her tone and completely believed her. She gains nothing and has lost much in coming forward to speak. My heart broke for her.

Listening to her speak about her 15 year old self and this bewildering, traumatizing experience took me back to my teenage years. I recalled two distinct times that I allowed myself to get into a vulnerable position, during high school, about 28 years ago. Now, I say that I allowed myself to get into a vulnerable situation because time and time again we see that it is the woman's responsibility to steer clear of such situations and it's her fault if she does not.

Now, in my case, nothing happened to me in either of these instances, but I am now and was then well aware that it could have. Just knowing I was in a situation that made me feel trapped and vulnerable, I can clearly recall all kinds of details about the space I was in, the smells, the sounds, some (but not all) of the people there or nearby, how I felt and what I was thinking, but I could not give you a date and I could not name each person there. I'm not even sure of the exact year. This does not mean it didn't happen.

I imagine that if you asked the other people who were there with me during those two instances they would not recall these things in such detail. In fact, I would bet they would not have any recollection of these instances at all. This does not mean it didn't happen.

I NEVER told anyone about these instances…not my best friend, not my mother, not my husband. No one. This is the first time I have ever shared anything about these two instances outside of my own mind. I did not tell anyone because I felt shame for allowing myself to get into such situations. This does not mean it didn't happen.

The reason it stands out in my memory so vividly and has stayed with me all of these years is that it had a significant impact on me. After the second instance, I promised myself then, in high school, I would not allow myself to get into such a vulnerable situation again. These two instances scared me and cautioned me and trained me and shaped me.

I can imagine that the other people involved in these two instances didn't recall it happening a year after it occurred, let alone 5 or 10 or 22 years later. This is simply because it did not have an impact on them. It did not scare them or worry them or warrant a change in how they approached certain people or situations.

Now, going back to Dr. Ford and Judge Kavanaugh, one of them is not telling the truth, or at least not remembering what happened correctly. One of them was not impacted by this experience. My money is on Judge Kavanaugh as being the one who is not telling the whole truth and/or not remembering the instance correctly and thoroughly.

Judge Kavanaugh's demeanor and attitude also made me think of instances, both in working in the courts and general life experiences, of privileged men who are used to getting what they want when they want it, and then get caught being bad and are at risk of not getting what they want.

He yelled and deflected blame and repeated the same answers over and over and made accusations. He was evasive and sometimes responded with silence. He talked back and whined and cried. He was all kinds of emotional and belligerent and haughty. I have seen this behavior. I know this kind of behavior. I have seen this behavior from grown men, but any parent will recognize this kind of adolescent, rebellious, defensive fit throwing, as well.

This spoiled, whining, privileged man child having a huge meltdown temper tantrum was watched by thousands and thousands of people, and I believe it will have an impact.

The impact will not be on the male Republican Senators who rebuked the Democrats for causing such pain and suffering for this upstanding man and his family…at least not directly…and who will vote to confirm Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court of the United States.

The impact will not be on Kavanaugh who will most likely still get his way and be appointed for life to the United States Supreme Court. His family is not ruined. They will move on from this. But let me say, I am sad for his wife and daughters who are having to go through all of this because of their husband and father.

And yet, I do think there will be an impact. I think there already is a wave of change that has been gathering momentum and speed and depth and integrity and raw, composed rage. It's coming….just you wait.

For now, I will keep explaining and teaching and showing my boys what is right and wrong; what justice looks like; what respect looks like; what mercy looks like; what integrity looks like; and how Jesus instructs Christians to act.

From a different perspective, as a student of the law with a deep respect for the highest court in our land and for (most) of the justices who sit on the Supreme Court of the United States, I am greatly distressed, disappointed and frustrated. Putting aside whether he has repeatedly, on several topics, lied before Congress and whether he sexually assaulted one or more women, the person who has emerged under pressure in these hearings is NOT the kind of impartial, rational, discerning person the United States Senate should be placing on the Court. Our highest court of the land deserves better than this. We, the people of this democracy, deserve better than this.

My heart breaks and my blood boils for all people everywhere who have been hurt, broken, taken advantage of, assaulted, raped and have told their stories only to be threatened, ridiculed and worst of all, ignored.

I hear you. I believe you. You matter. You have made an impact. You are not alone. Everyone does eventually get his day in court; before his maker, that is.

Over and out…

Anna

Joy like a Panda {My Word for 2017}

Each December, in the dusk of the old year, I open up my mind for a new word to live by for the coming year. Now, this may sound like gibberish to you, but it works for me. Year after year, a word will come to me and when it does, it's always fitting, even when I have doubts.

In 2016, my word was "renewed." I definitely needed to be renewed and to find hope and happiness and let go of a lot this year. While there was sadness and heartache in 2016 with the passing of three of our much loved, elderly pets, there was also much renewing with 7 trips to see friends and family and new cities and old favorites. {Travel is my absolute passion.}

I allowed myself to keep tweaking our curriculum and my teaching methods and educational focus without feeling doubt and guilt. I better recognized when we needed a break or a change. I gave myself license to take a day for me when I needed it.

We adopted a new kitten and puppy, adding lots of renewed life and energy to our household.

I continue to have complete faith in my God. This is how I make it through each day, day after day. And by the grace of God, I've made it through another year. While the coming year feels bleak and uncertain to me, my ever abiding faith will sustain me.

Oddly enough, despite my anxiety over the state of our world, the word that came to me the other day while I was drying my hair was "Joy." Now, I thought to myself, "Joy? This doesn't seem right for 2017." But the words kept repeating in my head…"yes, joy!" Then, I wondered what kind of joy, in what form.

Joy is defined as "a state of happiness or felicity." But it's also defined as "a source or cause of delight." And it's important to remember that delight and joy are synonymous.

Joy is being happy and exuding happiness, which in turn can act as a source or cause for another's joy or delight. This seems like a good thing, being happy and being the cause of another's joy.

There are two scriptures that come to mind when I think of joy…

"Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

And Psalm 100:

              Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.

              Serve the Lord with gladness: come before His presence with singing.

Know ye that the Lord He is God: it is He that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name.

For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting; and His truth endureth to all generations.

I've always liked these scriptures...I was beginning to see that joy was the right word for 2017…

Then, I saw a video of a Panda playing in the snow with such pure joy, and I thought I want to have joy like a Giant panda. Honestly, when you think about videos of pandas, don't you think of joy? They always seem so happy and curious and delighted to be doing whatever they're doing, even when it's mischievous or when they get themselves into sticky situations, which seems to be often. And they are the source of great joy to the people who see these amazingly beautiful and interesting creatures.

So, it is with the unbridled joy of a Giant panda that I will strive to make a joyful noise unto the Lord and serve with gladness and thankfulness throughout the year of 2017...even though I'm not always good at unbridled joy {since I'm a Type A personality kind of gal}, I'm going to give it my all!

In so doing, I will continue to look for any opportunity to travel and explore and give aid and mercy and do good and be kind and supportive and stand up for what I believe in. Here's to a joy filled 2017! What's your word? Over and out…

Anna

 

The Weight of the World

Do the issues of the world, our country, the local community weigh on you? Do you try to figure out what you can do to help people….many people…a few people…even one person? Do you think about the people who are sleeping outside on a frigid night with nowhere to go? Do you worry about the kids whose only meals come from the school cafeterias? Do you ponder what becomes of the kids who have no toys or crayons or books at all? Do you weep for the mothers trying to protect their children from war, drugs, hunger, despair all across the world? Do you ponder all the injustice and mistreatment and pray for change? Do you worry about family and friends just barely hanging on?

Do you feel guilty for indulging, being warm and cozy, showering your kids with gifts, looking the other way, going on with your own life?

These things do weigh on me and I do feel sadness and guilt. I do want to help…everyone. And yet, sometimes it's totally overwhelming. There is so much need and hurt and despair and brokenness everywhere.

I am a Christian. To me, part of being a Christian is loving all people, regardless of whether I agree with how they live their lives or what they stand for, always giving and doing for others in any way I can for those who are struggling, whether that is through prayer, money, clothing, groceries or time and working to live my life as a beacon of hope, faith and love…basically, striving to live as Jesus did.

I am also human. So, this means that I often fail, despite my best intentions. I lose my temper and patience with those who stand for things I abhor and feel desperate to open their eyes to truth and love. I waste my money on superficial, nonessential things instead of using it for good. I forget to pray for people I intended to pray for. I pass by a person in need without offering anything because I'm not sure how to help.

And yet, I do believe that if we all love and help and support each other, we will all be better off. So, even though I will falter in my goal, I will keep trying to do more wherever I find a need.

The problem is that there is a need everywhere I turn. And I struggle with how much and when and where and who to give to. I have often said, "Lord, if you would see fit to bestow a great amount of money on me, I would be able to do so much more for so many more in need." So far, the Lord has not seen fit to do so. Instead, I do what I can with what I have as much as I can. In so doing, I hope to instill a sense of giving and serving and being merciful upon my children.

It matters not to me whether the person or people I strive to help are sinners or saints, drug addicts or alcoholics or misguided or foolish, Christians, Muslims, Jews or atheists, homeless or well off, educated or ignorant, Republican or Democrat, Independent or Libertarian, black, white, blue or purple. If it be in my power to help someone in need, I will strive to do it. I can disagree with one's actions and beliefs whether I help that person or not.

I also think that charity must start within the family. If a person giving loads of money and/or time to a foundation or nonprofit or church outreach organization fails to see and help the elderly aunt or down-on-her-luck sister or cousin or in-need-of-assistance child or neighbor, I think this person may be giving for his or her own pride and profit or is merely ignorant of the need and suffering closer to home. We must always help and love and support friends and family who are in need of mercy and love and a hot meal or a bag groceries, or a few coins too.

Let us not forget to be merciful, charitable and full of love and goodness and kindness all year round, but most especially at this time of year when we look forward to celebrating the birth of HE who embodied being merciful, charitable and full of love and goodness and kindness. Over and out…

Anna    

5 Things {To Save World}

OK….So, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit when it comes to saving the world, but still, hear me out.

Plastic is a big problem for our Earth. As in, it takes years and years and years and years to break down. Some sources say it may takes plastic containers, bottles and bags 100s or even 1000s of years to break down. The truth is, we don't actually know how long it will take. Plastic bags have been around only 50 years….and they're all still piling up in landfills, etc.

So, our family has been trying our darndest to greatly reduce the amount of plastic we use. I know what you're thinking, "Your one little family not using so much plastic isn't going to save the world or make any great impact." And you're right. That's why each of us should be doing our part in "saving the world" whether it's reducing plastic usage, using fewer or no harmful chemicals in our homes, reducing our overall all carbon footprints, etc.

And did you know if you used just 3 reusable produce bags a week, you'd reduce your plastic bag usage by 150 in just one year? And did you further know that the average family goes through about 500 plastic baggies a year just for school and work lunches?

The way I see it is that if we choose to do things that reduce the waste and the harmful chemicals released into our air and leave our world a purer place for our kids and their kids or at the very least slow the damage to our planet and our people, then it's worth it.

And really these 5 things are EASY…there's just one I have trouble with….

1. Norwex Snack Bags/Sandwich Wraps. We NEVER send plastic baggies in school lunches. We also opt for reusable spoons and forks and travel sized enviro cloths for lunch napkins for waste free lunches. These bags are also great for small toys, crayons, pacifiers, etc. even makeup or nail files and polishes, etc., etc.
2. Reusable Bags for Shopping. Here's the one I have trouble with. I have them in my car, and I usually remember to take them in at Trader Joe's and my co-op, but often forget them when running into Target or a clothing store or shoe store, etc. I'm working on this one. And when I forget I do take my plastic bags to Target to recycle….I hope they actually recycle them!
3. Norwex Mesh Produce Bags. I use these at the grocery stores for fruits and veggies and for picking tomatoes and peppers in our garden – we have had a huge tomato crop and these bags are great for this job. My son even took one to school to store his headphones in. I use one in the freezer for the bananas that go mushy before they are eaten and get used in muffins, breads and pancakes. They are also great for washing grapes so that you don't lose them down the drain or for washing and/or storing Legos bath toys or Barbies and so many other things!
4. Compostable Trash Bags. I feel good about using these. I found 2 different brands at Lakewinds Co-op. They aren't too pricey and there are several sizes, depending on your needs. We have found them to be pretty strong and to work well.
5. Norwex Stainless Steel Straws. Think about how many millions of straws are tossed out each day….staggering isn't it? Well, if you use them in your own home or often stop for a carbonated beverage or shake or smoothie, then these stainless steel straws will serve you well. There's even a handy brush to clean them well! Again, I am working out a system to keep them in my car and remember to grab these and not the plastic version when we stop for a refreshing drink. My boys love to use them with milk.

OK, OK….I actually have 7 points for you, not 5….

1. Silicone Lids. I have been using these for about a year or so now. Norwex just launched a version too – work just the same and they are fantastic! The lids are safe for stovetops, ovens, microwaves and the fridge. There are so many reasons to love them. I don't even use metal lids for my pots now. The silicone lids make perfect rice, make the pasta water boil faster, keep food warm and still good for hours, steams veggies to perfection, keep baked good fresh and moist AND no more plastic wrap! Plus fewer dishes to wash since you can go from stove to fridge in the same container. Oh, and they don't stain or retain odor.
2. Beeswax & Cloth Wrap. I found this at my Lakewinds Co-op too, and they are great! They come in several sizes and even a variety pack. I use them to wrap cheese, bread, fruits, veggies, whatever and, again, NO PLASTIC WRAP or BAGGIES! You simply rinse it with cool water and dry it off and then wrap up the food. The warmth of your hand will mold and seal the beeswax and cloth wrap.

And this is what we're doing, along with removing all harmful chemicals from our home and recycling tons of plastic, paper and glass. Of course, there are always more things we can do…and we will. What are you focusing on changing in your home? Over and out….

Anna

**Full Disclosure: one of the many hats I wear is that of Norwex Independent Sales Consultant. However, none of these products were given to me and no company sponsored this post. This is simply my opinion based on experience using these products in my home.

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This is the time of year I start to get antsy.

Every June I have a deadline for a big work project. I sit hour after hour at my computer during the winter as the snow falls and then through the spring as the snow melts away and teases us with a warmer day here or there and then the sun begins to stay up a bit longer and warm, shiny afternoons beckon to me from the window, and still, I sit working at my computer. Eventually, school comes to an end and my kids are excited for summer break to begin, and still, I sit working at my computer.

I began to get restless and fidgety. I try to make deals with myself about working for so long and then taking a break for a fun little adventure. I work deep into the night so that I can be out in the warm shiny days and lovely lingering evenings with birds calling and bunnies scampering and kids laughing.

And then, finally, when I think I can't stand it for a minute more, I finish my work and my summer break begins.

I love Minnesota for all of its beautiful seasons, but summer is so long awaited and free from schedules that it has become my favorite. And I think it is because of our long, cold winters that there are so many wonderful things scheduled from June 1^st to August 31^st each year.

It's hard to fit everything in, but we pack in a ton. Some things we do every summer, sometimes on a weekly basis; others things on our list are firsts. And the greatest thing of all is that so many summer activities are free! 

We make memories and create traditions all summer long that carry us through those seemingly endless cold, snowy days and nights in the winter. Here's what on our bucket list this summer…

1. Picnics at Lake Harriet Bandshell; a favorite tradition and favorite place; music (every single day through the summer), picnic dinners, awesome playground, beautiful views and walking/biking paths.
2. Swim at Bryant Lake Beach; one of our favorite swimming beaches.
3. Week on the TX Gulf Coast with family at our favorite beach; one of my favorite things ever.
4. Swim at the pool at least once a week, meeting up with lots of friends.
5. Visit Johnson Space Center in Houston, a trip we always look forward to; each time our experience is different since the boys' ages are too.
6. MN Zoo Giant Bugs exhibit and playing at the splash pad and playground and seeing all the familiar animals.
7. How to Train Your Dragon 2. I really loved Hiccup and Toothless in the first movie and seriously am so excited about this movie…it better live up to my expectations.
8. Outdoor Movies at Centennial Lakes; another beautiful, free, outdoor venue for music, movies, picnics, strolls, mini golf and lawn bowling.
9. Shakespeare in the Park; I love Shakespeare and there happens to be one in a park very near to me this year. It's Comedy of Errors; always a good one. And it's the one I saw outdoors in London one summer long ago.
   
10. MN Sculpture Garden Mini Golf; very tricky, artistic challenging golf, that is. Or mini golf at Centennial Lakes or putt putt at a park nearby, or maybe all three.
11. Open Field at Walker Art Center; Sunday afternoons are the perfect time for us to hang out in this space. I love to take a picnic, go to church and then walk over to the Walker and hang out all afternoon in the Open Field space. There are all kinds of activities from sports to games to arts and crafts to musical instruments and more there for the using.
12. Conduct a "Best Ice Cream in Twin Cities" Tasting Tour. We are pretty pumped up about this one. The Twin Cities has some REALLY good ice creams and custards! This one will be an all summer activity. We have already begun planning it out.
13. Attend at least one parade, even if it's the State Fair parade.
14. Visit Family in Texas; we love this road trip tradition.
15. Watch at least one fireworks exhibit; so many to choose from around here.
16. Golf; with my husband; with friends; and maybe with my boys (after their lessons this summer). I'm really not good, but I really enjoy playing.
17. Ride the new Green Line from Union Depot Station in St. Paul to Minneapolis stopping at the MN State Capitol, the Weisman Art Museum, Ax-man Surplus and exploring several cultures along the way. (Green Line opens June 14^th)
18. Pick berries at least once; blueberries, raspberries and strawberries available around here. So good!
19. Dine al fresco as often as possible; the possibilities are endless around here, but my favorite is W. A. Frost.
20. Go to at least one Minnesota History Center's Nine Nights of Music; this has been on the list for several years and we still haven't made it there yet. I think this is the year for it. Plus we want to explore their Toy Exhibit inside too.
21. Pizza on the Farm; two favorites: A to Z in Stockholm, WI off the Great River Road (amazing drive – even if I can't eat the pizza, it's worth it) and Red Barn Farm in Northfield (run by a friendly family from the barn/kitchen behind their home and they have a gluten free crust option that's really tasty!) Both options are relaxing, beautiful, full of animals and gardens and flowers and magnificent views of farm land. We love this tradition. Oh, and if you go to A to Z, go early so they don't sell out and so that you have time to stop at the pie shop in tiny, picturesque Stockholm to pick up dessert or stop on the way home for really great ice cream at Flat Pennies on the Great River Road). Remember you bring the plates, napkins, blanket or table and chairs, pizza cutter, candlesticks, flower arrangements, salad, apps, desserts, vino, lemonade, whatever you decide is necessary for your meal. And you take everything, even the pizza box, back out with you! Oh, there are bathrooms available in both locations! I don't go that rustic.
    
22. Go to a drive-in movie theater; eyeing the one in Litchfield right now.
23. Of course, we plan to frequent Riverview Theater too; we love this little, old (cheap) theater; some great classics being played this summer too.
24. Visit Little Mekong Night Market in St. Paul (near the Western Ave station on the Green Line).
25. MN State Fair; enough said
26. Throw a Lego Movie themed birthday party; working on figuring this one out…
27. Read, Read, Read
28. Writing, writing, writing
29. Adventure, Adventure, Adventure

Summer is an attitude. It's stopping at the fruit stand on the side of the road and then sitting in your car, eating a peach with warm juice running down your arms to your elbows and dripping down your chin; it's doing nothing but reading a book all afternoon on a quilt on a grassy hill; it's picnicking on any night of week, just because you can; it's swimming until your fingers and toes are all puckered and wrinkly and your shoulders are pink from a bit too much sun; it's finding out about an activity, location or event and piling into the car, heading there on a whim; it's ice cream long after bedtime; it's sitting around a fire pit, looking up into the pitch dark sky searching for stars; it's pulling over to read historical markers, following maps, visiting tourist traps, stepping back into history and soaking up as much sun as possible.

Here's to squeezing every last drop out of summer and making memories that last a lifetime. Over and out….

Anna

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The War Against Drugs {A Parent's Battle Cry}

This is your Brain. This is your Brain on Drugs….{Sizzle}…Any Questions?... Just Say No!

My 5 year old equates anything that happened "a long time ago" with "back in the '80s." I think that he probably pictures horse drawn wagons on dirt roads and no internet and rotary phones that plug into the wall when he says this; you know, the dark ages.

To me, the 80s weren't so long ago; my childhood resides there. It was a time of big, clunky station wagons without seat belts, Barbie dolls, running barefoot through summers that lasted forever, bikes with pompom tassels coming out of the ends of the handlebars, Star Wars, Ronald Reagan, Swatch Watches, Bon Jovi and cordless phones.

And in the 1980s, the U.S. launched several ad campaigns in combatting the war on drugs. Any child of the '80s will still know by heart the words and the images associated with these campaigns from the war on drugs.

I can easily recall these and hear the sizzle of the egg in the hot skillet, and it worked for me. Not that I would have been using drugs if it hadn't been for these ad campaigns, but it certainly made an impact.

It seems to me that little by little our society has forgotten about our full-on attack on drugs. I don't see billboards or t-shirts or print ads or commercials or YouTube videos or hashtags warning kids to Just Say No {to Drugs} or any other catch phrases warning against the perils of drugs, for that matter.

I don't have teenagers yet. So, maybe the kids are aware of the dangers of drugs and maybe the parents are having meaningful chats with their teenagers and schools are still fighting their way through the war on drugs, but when I see a headline about a girl in high school who died after ingesting a synthetic LSD and that 5 teenagers have been charged with murder in relation to it, I think that perhaps it's time to bring back the fried egg comparisons and launch another targeted attack.

The teenager's death I refer to occurred in Woodbury, Minnesota; a nice, upper middle-class suburb to the east of the Twin Cities full of professional, white collar families, living in spacious homes with well-manicured lawns.

But this upper middle-class suburb was not immune from illicit activity in its high school. This girl bought little strips of pink paper laced with a synthetic form of LSD from a kid at school who got it from another kid at school who got it from another kid at school who got it from…well, you get the picture. Eventually, these little pink papers were traced to a 19 year-old who was arrested with a big stash of little pink papers.

Unfortunately, for this girl, her experimentation with drugs killed her, and now, these kids have been charged with her murder.

The article describes her as a very smart, interesting, passionate, funny, gifted teenager. She made the mistake of trying drugs with a friend during a sleepover and that mistake killed her and has forever changed the lives of her family and friends, the kids charged {as adults} with her murder and their families and friends too.

I have never trifled with drugs….not ever. I have never even smoked a cigarette…I've never even thought about doing these things. I know that this is not necessarily the norm, but it's true of me. And honestly, I don't understand why anyone would want to take these risks of addiction, affliction and death. However, I do realize that many do take these risks whatever their reasons.

And so, I say, We, as Parents, need to declare war on drugs again. We need to have these talks often! We need to say over and over "Just Say NO!" until they hear it in their thoughts and say it themselves without hesitation! We need to stand up to bad influences and be vigilant when it comes to who our kids are hanging out with and what they are doing when we aren't around. We need to sacrifice an egg and show them, "This is your Brain. And this is your Brain on Drugs!"

We need not be afraid to speak to our kids about sensitive matters. We need to keep the lines of communication open. We need to be sure our kids know they can talk to us…about anything. We need to have a community for our kids and for us, as parents.

We need to be soldiers in this war on drugs. This war never really ended it was just placed on the back burner, temporarily blocked by other agendas and campaigns, but it's still there.

My heart breaks for this girl who lost her life, her family, the kids charged with murder and their families. There is so much loss in this situation; loss that never had to be. These kids had the power of choice, but made the wrong decisions and ended up here; this does not end well for any of them.

But WE, the parents, have the power of choice too. And I choose to pick up my battle gear and step onto the field and unabashedly fight this good fight to keep our kids safe, well-educated and confident when it comes to simply SAYING NO to drugs or bullies or any other unsavory behavior. What do you choose?

Whether you agree with the '80s ad campaign tactics or not, surely you can agree that parents have to be the ones to broach this subject with our kids and give them guidance and information regarding these matters.

And maybe I'm wrong and these parents did all these things and it didn't make a difference. Even still, I will be talking and talking and talking with my kids about drugs and many other things for many years to come. Over and out...

Anna

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Awash in Color: Boy Colors v. Girl Colors

Who Are You?....Really…{Psychology in a Quiz)

What type of person are you? What city should you live in? What kind of animal spirit are you? Are you a true child of the 80's? Which super hero are you? Which queen of comedy are you? Are you right brained or left brained or balanced? What color are you? Which Frozen character are you? Which Hogwarts professor are you? Which House of Cards character are you? Which Disney princess are you? Which Star Wars character are you? What type of sandwich are you? Which state are you really from? Which Friends character are you? How many children should you have? What planet are you? What type of career should you have? What type of emoji are you? What grade are you getting in life?

Wait? What? You…Don't…Know? How can you possibly get through each day?

Well, if you're on Facebook at all, you know what I'm talking about. These quizzes have been making their rounds on the social media circuit as of late. The website buzzfeed is behind these personality quizzes that tell us something or nothing or everything about ourselves.

But why are we intrigued by them? Why do we keep sharing them and posting our results?

Well, I'm no psychologist, and I don't know how the answers are configured, but I'm certain these quizzes will not answer any deep, dark questions of life or offer an answer about which path to take. And I doubt anyone is taking these quizzes too seriously. I've taken some of these quizzes just for the fun of it; often the explanation makes sense and affirms something about me; sometimes it's just funny or completely off, but why do we feel inclined to keep clicking on them?

My theory: We like to answer things about ourselves and get our "fortunes" at the end. We like for things to be about us. We like to have affirmations of our strengths and dreams and attitudes. It's the same reason we always read our horoscopes at the end of magazine or in the newspaper; we like to know about ourselves and get a glimpse of the future and maybe, just maybe some of it might be true.

For the record: I'm a boss; I should live in Monaco; I'm an Eagle (I think); I am a true child of the 80's; I am Captain Planet; I am Maya Rudolph; I use both sides of my brain equally; I am yellow; I am Elsa (hmmm, not Anna, after all); I am Professor Snape. I am Remy; I am Princess Aurora; I am Yoda; it turns out I'm a soggy veggie wrap; I'm really from Texas (go figure); I am Monica; apparently I should have 3 children (NOT A CHANCE). Oh, and I made up the one about the planet, but it turns out there is such a quiz, and I am Earth- how about that? I'm a humanitarian and should be a judge. I'm a sarcastic side-eye. I'm getting an A- in life.

Maybe my theory is wrong, but does it really matter? These quizzes are mini time wasters that give us a laugh or affirm our attributes. There's no harm done. Enjoy.

One note: oddly enough, I should have married a pizza. Who knew?

I should also note that Ellen DeGeneres took the Queen of Comedy Quiz, one end result is Ellen, herself, but instead Ellen got Chelsea Handler. And when Ellen had Chelsea on the show and Chelsea took this quiz she got Tina Fey. So, you be the judge of the accuracy. Over and out…

Anna

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Sleeping with the Enemy {Kids and PJs}

Be Kind and Do the Right Thing {It’s Really That Simple, Isn’t it?}

What if we made decisions based on reason and good sense and because it was in the best interest for all or at least most? What then?

What would our world look like? What would we think of our leaders then? How would we feel about mankind? How would we feel about ourselves?

There are a few things that have really bothered me over the last few weeks; items from news headlines and articles. Here they are {in brief} and my thoughts on them {in brief…as brief as I can be}:

All Parents have Challenges

Gwyneth says moms with "regular" jobs working 9 to 5 have it easier than "movie stars" working 14 hours on location.

My Take: Don't compare yourself to others and their situations. You have no idea the challenges, burdens and sacrifices that another has faced or is facing. Simply be kind to others and live your own life. And if you don't like your life, take steps to change that – this goes for "movie stars" too.

I have no doubt it is challenging to be a celebrity and a mom, but it is also challenging to be "regular" mom working 9 to 5 in an office or working from home or working shifts or whatever a mom's situation is. Can we just agree it's challenging to be a mom?

Government could Save $400 Million with One Simple Change

Fourteen year-old boy comes up with a simple (& proven) way to save the federal and state governments $400 million dollars each year by changing the font in which they use for printing purposes; Times New Roman uses more ink than Garamond. By printing in Garamond, the governments would save this astronomical (to me) amount in ink costs.

My Take: This is remarkable. And yet, will the branches of government even consider such a change; a change that could mean closing the gap in other areas of their budgets or that this money could go towards more important things than ink? I doubt it. It seems that the government (federal and state) and the politicians running them are rarely interested in ways to truly be economical or do what is safer, healthier or smarter with our money. It is almost always about spending money in their districts or with their constituents or something that will benefit them personally, I am sorry to say.

But wouldn't it be great to see the government truly working with this 14 year-old and implementing this simple change?

If the government was run like a household budget, the government would most certainly try this money-saving plan.

Watch YourSELF! Don't be a Bully!

Self Magazine published a photo of two women running in a marathon wearing superhero-inspired tutus…and featured it in their BS Meter, Legit or Lame segment, calling it lame and making fun of them for wearing the tutus…one of the runners in the photo has cancer, ran while doing chemo and makes and sells the tutus to help fund a youth development program for girls…

My Take: This whole thing really smells to high heaven. They asked permission to use this photo and then proceeded to make fun of her and her friend… that's bad enough. But then, they find out she has cancer and was going through chemotherapy during the time she ran and she does good with the money she makes in selling these tutus….wow!

So, editors at Self, clearly you failed miserably on this photo, but I think you have failed overall with this whole segment. Who are you to poke fun at anyone? Even if she and her friend were simply runners, no cancer or nonprofits involved, it's not OK to make rude comments about someone. That is bullying behavior. I say ditch your BS Meter altogether.

I applaud the self-expression, and you can call me lame if you like, but anything superhero-inspired is cool in our household. And seriously, these two women were RUNNING A MARATHON! They ROCK…period!

Privacy Issues in School Bathrooms

There was a recent incident in a St. Paul school when a janitor was inappropriate in a boys bathroom.

My Take: As a mom to boys, I have often thought this is a bad idea for the men on staff to share a bathroom with the boys in the school, considering there are urinals and not just stalls. I think both boys and the male teachers/staff should have privacy in a bathroom at school. And having separate bathrooms for students and personnel affords protection from such instances, for both the adults and students. Of course, the same can be said for the girls bathrooms too, but there are at least stalls and doors, giving more privacy. And really, I'm not sure urinals without enclosures have a place in schools.

Suing Your Parents is NOT a Good Idea…EVER

A high school student sued her parents, trying to force them to pay for her college expenses. The suit was dropped and the girl moved home, fortunately.

My Take: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Clearly, this girl had lost her way somewhere and has hopefully found her path again now. There was little basis to her lawsuit. There was no evidence of abuse or neglect. Instead, it appeared to be a case of a girl not wanting to follow her parents' rules (which by reports from her parents were not terribly restricting) and leaving home on her own accord to live with a friend's family once she turned 18, but wanting her parents to continue to fund her life.

This friend's father was an attorney. It sounds like he talked her into suing her parents for her Catholic high school tuition payment and college living expenses for the next year. This is very unfortunate, it not only put attorneys in a bad light yet again, it also makes the girl look like a spoiled rotten, greedy brat (which may not have been the case at all) and these shenanigans cost all involved a great deal of expense and energy and heartache….all for nothing.

Usually simply talking out a problem is a good and cheap solution to most familial issues.

These are the headlines that have been knocking around in my head lately. And now you know my take on them. Over and out…

Anna

 

 

 

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Embrace Bossy {A Bossy Girl's Opinion}

Bossy is an adjective that has often been used to describe me in my 39 years. I have never been quieted or shamed or discouraged by this word. Instead, I happily and proudly claim this description. And quite frankly, it's true. I am bossy.

In my mind, I don't consider it to be a negative descriptor. Instead it's a mark of a strong, determined, stubborn, thinking, deliberate, sassy person.

And yet, there is a campaign to #BanBossy; that is, there is an idea being circulated that we should stop using the term bossy when describing girls who are headstrong, opinionated and well, bossy.

It all started when Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook and Anna Maria Chavez, the CEO of the Girl Scouts, decided that calling girls bossy "discourages them from being assertive, confident and opinionated." They are apparently of the opinion that girls who are called bossy can be left with emotional scars which deter them from seeking leadership roles later in life.

I'm simply not buying this argument. In fact, I think it's a lot of poppycock.

I am willing to bet that both these executives who happen to be females were and are called bossy (at the very least) and were clearly not deterred from climbing the corporate ladder. I am also willing to bet that these women are determined, opinionated, stubborn, quite intelligent, and at the risk of hurting their feelings, bossy.

I think it is this very trait of being "given to ordering people about; overly authoritative; domineering" (as defined by dictionary.com) that helps to propel girls into leadership roles. In my opinion, bossy girls are often also full of ambition and ideas and moxie.

Bossy girls are not prone to being wall flowers or little ladies who merely stand behind their men or automatons who simply go with the flow because that's the way it's always been. Bossy girls come up with new ideas; bossy girls are confident; bossy girls lead soldiers, volunteers, corporations, families, students, cities, states, countries; bossy girls dig in, stand up, do what it takes and refuse to back down when passionate about a cause; bossy girls stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves; bossy girls stand up for themselves.

Bossy should not be interpreted as being a "mean girl" or a bully. Bossy girls are strong and stubborn and confident and don't need to belittle or hurt others to feel secure in who they are. Bossy girls know who they are.

The photo is from my second birthday. My mother had made a Noah's ark cake for me. I am there in the brown dress, clutching my baby doll. You can see the boy to my right, sticking his finger in the frosting and me raising my hand and my mouth open. I can only imagine that I am telling him off as a 2 year old bossy girl can do. I have always been proud of this photo and another one that I couldn't locate that showed me really giving him a look as he continues to pick at my cake.

I was a very shy girl, but that did not stop me from being bossy and standing up to those who needed a bit of "ordering about," and it didn't stop me from trying out for parts in plays, running for student council or always standing my ground and pursuing my dreams.

This bossy girl has held a number of leadership roles, organized all kinds of groups, activities and events, has spoken in front of small and large groups, stood up for those who could not, always spoken the truth from the heart and never been at a loss for words.

To tell the world that girls can't take being called bossy only weakens their position, calls into question their ability to lead and be authoritative and gives the perception that girls must be treated differently than boys and handled with kid gloves.

I reject this idea. Girls are stronger than that. Bossy girls can take being called bossy. And girls don't need special treatment.

We have been fighting to stand with the boys and be treated equally for generations. Why on earth these female executives would call into question how this non-gender specific word is applied to girls is beyond me. Bossy girls don't need to be protected from this label.

I wear the bossy badge with pride and confidence. Even my boys know I'm bossy and they respect that and take pride in it, knowing that mama will always step up and take on a cause or an argument when the need arises. And this gives them the confidence to be bossy too. Anyone can be bossy.

So, I say embrace bossy. Over and out…

Anna

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Oops! An Honest Mistake {A Lesson in Trust and Self Preservation}

I've got a short and sweet lesson for you today.

I read about a Texas teenager who sat down to lunch at school, reached into his bag and discovered to his shock that he has accidentally grabbed a beer from the fridge, rather than a soda, when he packed his lunch.

This boy didn't want to get in trouble for having a beer in his possession and it was an honest mistake. So, what did he do?

Well, he took the responsible course of action, of course. He took the beer and gave it to a teacher and explained what had happened.

Good for him, right? He did the right thing. He told the truth. He trusted the authorities.

So, what did this good student get in return for his honest and responsible approach? Well, 2 months in an alternative school, of course.

Yes, you read that correctly, this young man got in trouble. So, what should he have done?

Well, apparently, he should have quickly put the beer back in his lunchbox, closed the lunchbox and concealed the beer until he could get back home and put it in his fridge and not speak one word of it to anyone. Clearly, he should not have trusted his teachers or other authoritarian figure there at school and he should not have done the "right" thing by being truthful.

My first thought was what a terrible lesson to teach our school kids. And then, I decided no, unfortunately, it's a good lesson to learn.

Unfortunately, this is a lesson that must be learned at some point in life. Unfortunately, this is the way the world works.

Unfortunately, many people will never apply the rules based on logic and sensibility. Unfortunately, many people cannot see the forest for the trees when it comes to being rational and comprehending a situation. And unfortunately, being open and honest about a situation that could be concealed without deception or harm to anyone is not always the route to take.

Instead, simply remaining silent is often the course of action to be followed in such a situation. Self-preservation is sometimes the way to think. Leaving well enough alone is fine. 

And now this boy has learned these essons from his school.

Of course, he has probably also learned a lesson in resentment, narrow-mindedness, bureaucracy, regret, trust, isolation, and many other things in those 2 months of punishment spent away from his school, friends, perhaps sports and other extracurricular activities, etc. all for the crime of telling the truth and coming forward, even though he didn't have to. 

I am sure this kid will think twice now before telling the truth and stepping up to explain a situation or trusting his teachers, instructors, superiors, co-workers, bosses, etc. Ah, the education system at its finest.

Yes, this lesson is one we all learn at some point in life. You can't trust everyone and not everyone looks at things the way you do or has the ability to fully comprehend a situation; sometimes silence is best for all points in a particular circumstance. However, this is a hard and crusty lesson to teach a high school student trying to do the right thing.

They could have taught him that he was in a place of trust and respect and that he had done the right thing by seeking help from a teacher. They could have taught him that logic and good common sense will always rule the day, especially  in a school. They could have taught him that he can always trust his teachers to aid him when he needs guidance, but they didn't. 

So, parents, teach your children well. Coming forward with truth and honesty is not always the best course of action, unfortunately… Over and out…

Anna

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Weighing In {Biggest Loser}

I don't watch Biggest Loser, but after this week's finale it wasn't necessary to have watched the program to get the gist of what went down. So, Rachel Fredrickson of Stillwater, MN won. She won because she had lost the most weight, hence the name of the show. Good for her, right?

Well, maybe not.

Since the show aired, social media sites, blogs and magazine websites have been lit up with discussions about her low weight and how thin she looks.

The comments may be well-meaning, but the words aren't those of support and encouragement.

Rachel is not an object; she is not a character; she is not a public figure. Yes, she put herself out there when she joined the show; a show that exposes and exploits the participants, BUT all of the words about her being unhealthy, looking gaunt, not looking good, claiming she must have an eating disorder, etc. are callous and hard and pointy.

Words are like arrows, piercing the skin. If Rachel has a health concern, these words will not help her, they will only compound the eating issues. If Rachel does not have any health concerns with her eating and current weight, these words take away from her victory and still sting.

We talk about others to make us feel better about ourselves. Perhaps we aren't happy with our own weights or we are unhappy with the directions our lives have taken or we are just bored. And perhaps some are really concerned, but launching into long-winded online tirades do not express concern and do not aid Rachel in any way.

Rachel is a person. Just as you and I are.

Put yourself in Rachel's shoes. How would you feel after dropping over a hundred pounds on national television, winning the Biggest Loser and then watching the public tear her down?

If you are truly concerned, pray for her and keep your mouth shut.

Clearly, Rachel is strong having done what most of us don't do; going on national TV, working hard to lose a lot of weight in front of an audience and opening up, leaving herself vulnerable.

But before you open your mouth to say something or lift your finger to tap out a mouthy comment online, think how it would feel if you read those words and they were directed at you. Over and out…

Anna

An Open Letter to a Smug, Punk-Ass Twerp {AKA Justin Bieber}

Dear Smug, Punk-Ass Twerp, {And I mean that in the kindest way possible}

Wipe that stupid grin off your face! You are looking at some serious charges with your latest shenanigans.

If I were your mom, I would sit you down and have a serious talk with you before it's too late {of course, if I were your mom, we would have had many serious talks by now}.

You, sonny, have been given a gift. While I have no idea what you sing or what you sound like or why girls go wild for you, you must have some kind of talent. But your talent is not the gift. Many people have talent; a large number of people have a great deal more talent than you do {in my opinion}.

The gift is Opportunity. You have been given the opportunity to develop your talent; live your dreams; be a positive role model to look up to; travel the world; have amazing experiences; do things to help others and make a real difference in this world.

And yet, in your youthful, arrogant, ignorance you are squandering this gift. You make scenes everywhere you go; act like you are "somebody" with having done nothing; trash hotel rooms; drink alcohol {may I remind you, you are still a minor}; use drugs; race cars in residential streets; hurl insults and curse words at police officers; and expect to get away with all of it.

But let me tell you something, kid; you better straighten up your act soon! The world quickly tires at the escapades of such spoiled brats. There will always be another rotten, over-entitled teen "star" taking your place as your own star fades away.

If you continue slipping down this slope of over-indulgence and self-destruction your future is clear, but not bright or promising. You are a dime a dozen….so far. You are not special….yet.

So, Biebs, do you want to "be someone?" Do you want to "do something?" Do you want to be remembered for something other than your demise? Do you want to live to see the ripe old age of 30? Well, then GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER NOW!

Many have trod down that path; few have overcome the demons of wealth, of fame, of celebrity. This is your chance; take it or leave it. But don't wait long to decide; the window of redemption will not stay open long and certainly does not give superstar punks VIP treatment.

But take heart, you could still be a legend, regardless of which path you take. In fact, people {and cable TV} like to tell the stories of those poor, misguided, young souls who were eaten up by the world of sex and drugs and rock and roll and spit out as hollow shells of nobodies.

Is it really so hard to choose to do good for others, be a respectable, responsible and talented role model and live the good life of opportunity? For your sake, and your mom's sake, {and for all those screaming, fainting girls looking up to you} I hope you straighten up. And you can start by wiping that punk-ass smile off your baby face.

Over and out…

Anna

Shades of Youth {Tanning and Teens and Cancer}

Shallow Reasoning

It's no secret; I am very pale. When I was a teenager and into my early twenties I spent some time in a tanning bed. It started with my junior prom. I wanted a bit of color on my arms and shoulders when I wore my hot pink and black strapless number.

My youthful rationale in continuing into my college years was that at least I wouldn't be the color of a corpse when it was time to put on a swimsuit, and perhaps, I wouldn't burn so quickly out in the sun.

Altogether, I went only a handful of times in the late spring for about four years. Not that it matters, statistics and studies show that my chance of skin cancer is dramatically higher for having done this, especially since I did so before the age of 30.

I was not concerned about skin cancer or wrinkles or creases or spots or aging. It was the here and now I was thinking about; watching the skin beneath the little heart-shaped sticker I affixed to my hip during the tanning sessions look less and less like my true shade.

Honestly, I never got very tan in my short stints in the tanning booth. I doubt others even realized that I was tanning, but that's not the point. Damage could still be done.

I soon changed my ways, wearing hats and sunscreen and taking care of the porcelain shell.

Well, Texas now has a law, in effect since September of 2013, banning minors from using tanning devices. So, I would have been stopped from adding color to my shoulders for junior and senior prom. I am sure there were a number of teenage girls in Texas who took an interest in new state laws for the first time last August.

Money Talks    

I found a list of 2013 legislation on the Indoor Tanning Association (ITA) website listing the results of such legislation. The list contained legislation from 30 states, many of them were noted to have died in committee.

Who knew there was such an association, which must have some kind of influence, considering that 25 bills died in committee or were defeated or vetoed (note some states had multiple bills).

In fact, only 7 bills pertaining to limiting or banning minors from using tanning devices were passed and enacted into law in 2013.

Minor Restrictions

Now, I am not one who likes to limit choices, but when it comes to protecting our minors I think the adults should take a firm stance. Seriously, we are talking about the right to get a tan in a box emitting dangerous UV rays; an action that could lead to skin cancer and will most definitely lead to skin damage.

We know a lot more about the risks and hazards of using tanning devices than we did 22 years ago. If I had known all the risks, as a 17 year old, I probably still would have tanned for a few months, but I doubt my mother would have allowed me to do so, with a full understanding of the future repercussions.

Teenagers are much more likely to take risks that could occur in the future than an adult who can fully appreciate the risks of cancer and the advantages of having healthy skin for many years.

So, why shouldn't we limit the ages of who can enter these coffin-shaped boxes of blindingly bright, damaging light?

More than likely the answer comes down to revenue. For the most part, it's the young and beautiful and skinny who plan to don cute, short dresses for school dances and parties and bare {almost} all in itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie yellow polka-dot bikinis who clamor to the tanning salons. Those youngsters can spend a lot of mom's and dad's money getting toasty. And those same 16, 17 and 18 year olds will more than likely continue to use these facilities as 19, 20, 21 year-olds too.

So, enter the ITA lobbyists. Clearly, they were effective.

Putting Their Future at Risk

And yet, in the end, what it comes down to is parents being educated and teaching their kids the risks of getting tanned and burned, whether it's from the sun or from artificial means. Regardless of the laws, parents should refuse to allow their minors to use tanning devices.

But is it really such a big deal; letting your 17 year-old spend a few weeks sunning in the ultraviolet rays of a tanning bed?

Well, consider this:

"The International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC), a working group of the World Health Organization, report cited research showing that tanning is especially hazardous to young people; those who use sunbeds before age 30 increase their lifetime risk of melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer, by 75 percent. The authors also pointed to studies showing a link between UV radiation from indoor tanning devices and melanomas of the skin and eyes. Melanoma will kill an estimated 8,650 people in the US this year alone. And melanoma isn't the only problem: people who use tanning beds are 2.5 times more likely to develop squamous cell carcinoma and 1.5 times more likely to develop basal cell carcinoma. Squamous cell carcinoma kills an estimated 2,500 Americans a year."

    From skincancer.org

Pretty frightening stuff, no?

Now this report indicates that the IARC has recently added ultraviolet (UV) radiation-emitting tanning devices, including tanning beds and lamps, to the list of the most dangerous forms of cancer-causing radiation. Interestingly, other hazardous entries on this list include plutonium and certain types of radium, as well as radiation from the sun.

As I was writing this post, I accidentally stumbled upon a blog post from City Pages regarding Minnesota 11^th graders and the rate at which they are using tanning beds. It is actually quite shocking.

In the land of snow and negative temps, 34% of white 11^th graders admit to using tanning beds, even during the winter months; looking at 17 year-old girls across the country that percentage is even higher at 39.3%. These findings come from the Minnesota Student Survey. This was the first year this survey, targeting teens in Minnesota, asked about tanning habits. These questions were added after noticing the rate of melanoma among young women has been increasing about 5% every year for the past 15 years; an alarming rate.

The Scoop

We protect our minors against the harmful of effects of using tobacco and alcohol. We allow minors to operate vehicles, but put limits and restrictions on right.

So, why not regulate minors' participation in an activity that can cause disease and even death?

Adults get to have that prerogative to choose substances and actions that could be dangerous to their own health, but minors should not be given that choice.

We don't even trust minors to vote.

Note: If you have used tanning devices in the past (or perhaps you still do) or spend time exposed outside in the sun or have in the past, be ever vigilant in checking your skin for any abnormal moles or spots. If you notice any, get them checked out. Skin Cancer is serious business!

Over and out…

Anna

One Word {To Live By}

For the past 13 days many words have been shared on Facebook and in blog posts and tweets; words to live by; words to repeat and remember; words that prompt action or inaction or encourage or inspire or make a statement. I realize I am late with this, but I was a bit stuck, maybe frozen, for the first 10 days of the year.

So, here is mine….Fearless.

It came to me during a conversation, of sorts, with myself while driving….another reason not to talk on the phone or text while driving; you can have deep conversations with yourself.

I wasn't actually trying to think of a word to live by for 2014, and yet….bam….there it was. I actually said it out loud, but wasn't sure why.

As I pondered why I had said "Fearless" out loud as I drove along alone in the car, it came to me. It must be "my word." So, I contemplated the word a bit longer.

It's not easy to be fearless.

There are so many "but, what ifs" out there that pose as Caution and Reason, but it's really just Fear.

But I have Faith for that.

There are so many ways to fail or stumble or crumble.

But I have Courage for that.

There are so many doubters and detractors and roadblocks.

But I have Love for that.

There are so many excuses and ways around something and stalling methods.

But I have Truth for that.

The only way to really live and be true to one's self is to be Fearless.

Fearless in love, work, dreams, pursuit of happiness, friendships and in all areas of life.

To let go of fear is to embrace Trust; Trust in yourself and Trust in others.

And if one is free from Fear, but is filled with Faith, Courage, Love, Truth and Trust, one is truly Free.

Over and out…

Anna

 

A Family of One’s Own {One Boy’s Plea}

Everyone deserves to be loved. For some that comes easily; for others it takes time. We don't get to choose the families we are born into; we just get the luck of the draw. We do have control over how we deal with the hand dealt to us though.

Each of us make choices in life. We can choose to go forward and do as much good as possible. Or we can choose to be sour and reckless and stagnant.

I stumbled onto an article of a teenage boy who had stood before a church congregation on Sunday and asked for a family to adopt him. He was born in jail and has never had a family of his own, living in foster homes or centers all of his 15 years.

This summer he found his mother's obituary online. This spurred him to move on. He began to work on his anger management, lost weight, put his heart into his school work and decided to find himself a family.

He remembered hearing that the Lord helps those who help themselves. So, Davion Navar Henry Only hatched a plan to find a family to call his own.

This article broke my heart and gave me hope at the same time. My heart breaks for this 15 year old boy who has never known the comfort of a loving family or a warm home, but Davion's resolve to find a family makes me smile at this kid's drive. Not everyone has drive to follow one's dreams; in fact, it has been my experience that few have this kind of drive.

So, do you have a place in your heart and in your home for Davion or someone like him? As of the printing of the article on Monday, no one had come forward to adopt Davion.

Part of me wants to call the number in the article and say, "Yes, We want to adopt this boy!" when I think about this boy's lonely heart. And part of me knows that we are not equipped to do that and don't have the resources to add another child to our family. 

Of course, this is not to be entered into lightly. This is the life of a young man we're talking about. But everyone deserves to be loved and to know the warmth of that feeling of going home to one's family.

Have you ever considered opening up your heart and home to an orphan? Over and out…

Anna

Dick…..Not just the Name of a Sporting Goods Store {They know more than you think}

Double Meanings

One day last spring while running errands in the car, my son asked, "Is dick a bad word?" I asked him, "Why do you ask?" He told me that there had been a discussion at school and one boy had said it was a bad word and my son had told him, "No it's not. It's the name of a store…Dick's Sporting Goods."

We don't mince words; we tell the truth with our kids. So, I explained the different meanings of the word. And told him not to use it in the one sense. Secretly, I was glad that he had been the innocent and naïve one in this situation.

I'm glad he felt like he could bring this to me and ask me about it. I wasn't surprised that he felt comfortable bringing it up with me, but I was surprised that this had happened in first grade.

And now, in second grade, I hear my son and his friends talking about who has a crush on whom. I had lunch with my son on Friday and the girl who sat next to me told me she has 4 boyfriends. Now, do they know what these things mean and are they acting on any of it; I doubt it…at least I hope not. Even still, I find it mind-boggling that all this happens at such a young age.

Underage Viewers

But then, I read an article written by a British editor/film maker who was shocked to find in his research that studies are showing that kids are being exposed to pornography as young as 10 years old. My son is 7 that's just 3 years older than he is now. This article and these studies were all based on data from Great Britain, but I'd imagine the numbers aren't too much different here in the good ol' U.S.A.

What was even more shocking is the knowledge these pre-teen and teenage students involved in one of the studies possessed on the subject of pornographic sex and the ease with which they discussed the matter. The kids reported sharing links on Facebook and through texts and emails. They said their parents trusted them online and had no idea they were accessing such material; consequently, there were little to no safeguards in place on their computers, tablets or phones.

The information is quite troubling when you think about our non-stop plugged-in generation of kids who are always "on" whether it's a phone, tablet, computer or gaming system. We trust that they won't wander into some dark, seedy online avenue; we believe they will be safe communicating with friends or listening to music, playing games, doing homework, accessing TV and movie programming, but we are wrong.

They often know more and are capable of more when it comes to technology; more than we think they know and sometimes more than we know. After all, this is how their generation lives; plugged in.

Free for All

Here's an example of what can happen when you don't have parental safeguards in place and you mistakenly believe they don't know their way around the internet.

This summer, my boys and I took an almost 3 week driving trip to Texas and back. I was armed with two tablets for the long days of driving; one was ours and one was my mom's. Ours, of course, had passwords galore; some for getting in and out of profiles, another for getting online and still another for buying and downloading more games. My mom's had a handful of games, downloaded by my husband before our trip began, but as I later realized, there were no passwords set on this tablet.

Often, it was my 4 year-old who played on my mom's tablet. Periodically, I would hear the boys discussing various games. Some sounded familiar, others didn't. I would ask them about these that didn't ring a bell. But I was driving; I didn't see the games they were playing.

On the way home, after 2.5 weeks of traveling and visiting and passing the time on the tablets, I heard the shrieks of a woman coming from my mom's tablet. I asked my 4 year old what he was playing. He told me it was some game that you try to kill the lady. WAIT! WHAT? I went into panic mode.

I was stuck in traffic and not able to pull over to check the tablet. I told him to stop playing that immediately and NEVER go to that game again. I began asking about the other games they had downloaded for "free" and found out there was a hunting game and an army game that sounded unacceptable, as well. I gave strict orders to play only what Daddy had put on the tablet.

I talked to my husband on the phone and told him my concerns. How on earth did he find these games? How many had he downloaded and had they all really been free, as my 4 year-old thought?

Parental Fail

Well, it turns out he had downloaded quite a few games; many of them not age appropriate. And they were NOT free. We ended up having to pay my mom over $50 for all the games that he downloaded in that 2.5 weeks; many of which we deleted from the tablet due to content. Fortunately, he had not actually played most of these games.

I had not realized there were no passwords in place; I had not known that he would have access to finding other games and downloading them; I had been naïve. My 4 year-old was more tech savvy than I had been. He could have stumbled into sexually graphic materials. He didn't, but he did find violent, inappropriate material.

We, as parents, cannot let down our guards. We must do everything we can to keep our kids safe while online.

Porn on the Brain

One interesting point in the British article was the neurological study conducted regarding how the brain reacts to pornographic images. The results were astounding, even to scientist running the experiment. For some, those who were self-described porn addicts, the brain reacted to the pornographic images as a drug addict or alcoholic would react to narcotics or alcohol being introduced into the body.

Another interesting factor is that the particular part of the brain that responds to addictive behavior is not fully mature or completely developed until a person is in his or her mid-twenties. If our children, and it was particular risky for boys, are watching pornographic sex and viewing pornographic images from the time they are twelve, or perhaps, younger, or even a few years older, by the time they are in their mid-twenties, these images could have affected their brains, much as drugs or alcohol does.

And that's just part of it. These kids are learning about sex through porn; it's rough, violent, dirty, ugly and cheap. This is not OK.

The Scoop

We must be proactive. We must not wait until we stumble upon these images and links on the family computer or their own phones. We must talk to our kids about these issues; the online safety factor, but also about the sex part too.

The internet is a great place to search for information, but you don't want your kids to learn about the birds and bees through Wikipedia or worse….much, much worse.

Read the article. Your jaw will drop….probably more than once. And then, go check all of your tech devices connected to the internet and be sure there are passwords in place. Additionally, if you have pre-teen/teenagers, do you have passwords/access to their social media accounts and emails? Can you see their text messages? Do you have boundaries and expectations set? Have you talked about the online risks with your child? Have you talked to them about sex? Remember, kids as young as 10, are being exposed to online porn. You may need to talk your child earlier than you had planned.

This is a battle that we can win, but it's up to us, the parents, to be ever vigilant when it comes to protecting our kids. Over and out….

Anna

September 11, 2001 {12 Years Later}

Then

September 11, 2001...I was not there at ground zero, but I could feel the panic and confusion and I could smell and taste the toxic fumes in the air as I watched the scene play out across our nation and I prayed without ceasing on that day and for days to come.

There was a brief, shining moment in the days that followed that our country was truly one….when churches were full of people gathered together, holding hands and praying in unison….when we banded together regardless of political convictions and backgrounds and economic status. There was a time that we were all full of patriotic spirit, waving our American flags in communion and defiance to those who would try to attack us….one nation under God.

But that brief, shining moment quickly passed. We became more politically, economically and religiously divided than we had been in years. We fought a long, drawn-out divisive battle on foreign soil and back at home we weren't any better for it…waging battles in capitol buildings, on Wall Street and from the pulpits.

We learned to wait in long lines at security checkpoints in airports and sporting events. We got used to taking off our shoes and jackets and jewelry and emptying pockets and computer bags and tossing out full bottles of water and packaging our tiny liquids and gels in clear pastic baggies and being scanned and wanded and patted down without a word of opposition.

We learned to eye our fellow travelers and commuters and neighbors and co-workers with foreign accents hailing from Middle Eastern countries with a bit of distrust and uneasiness. We were reminded to watch for objects left behind and to report anyone who asked us to watch their bags for them.

And we, in turn, have taught our children all of these things. This is simply the way their world works. They have no recollection of the days when there were no color coded warning systems in place.

Now

September 11, 2001, left a raw and bleeding wound in our country. We have not completely healed and we never will. We have repaired what we could and moved on, but our community has not overcome these evils. These evils are still there, and we know it.

We know it every time we enter a federal or state building. We know it every time we go to an airport. We know it every time we go to a large sporting event or political event or concert. We know it when we turn on the news.

And yet, there is still good in the world. There always has been. We must continue to seek out the light. We must always demand truth and right from our elected officials and clergy and our fellow citizens and our kids and ourselves. We must be vigilant for evil and not allow it to creep in, but we must not let the darkness of evil take over, crowding out the positive and good and bright.

And so it is with great confidence and hope that I leave you with one of my favorite scriptures…. "In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 Over and out…

Anna

Related articles

God is with Us {Always and Everywhere}

Who Am I to Judge?

Twenty Years Ago {20 Years Later}

Twenty years ago, I graduated from high school. When I say it out loud twenty years sounds like a long time, but in my mind it wasn't so long ago.

Twenty years ago, I dreamed of college, a career, a husband, babies and adventure.

Twenty years ago, I was about to leave my parents' home and my small town and venture out into the world alone.

Twenty years ago, I thought I knew an awful lot.

Twenty years ago, I was just starting out.

Twenty years ago, I had a narrow view of the world.

Twenty years later, I have an education, I've been on several career paths, I have a husband and two little kiddos and I've been on many adventures.

Twenty years later, I've moved northwards with stops in OK, IA and MN.

Twenty years later, I've won and lost; I've been up and down; I've learned and gained and squandered and rebuilt and been knocked flat and gotten up again and again and again.

Twenty years later, I don't feel or look how I imagined 38 would feel or look.

Twenty years later, I know how much I don't know.

Twenty years later, I see the world for what is it; beautiful and terrible all in the same breath.

Twenty years later, I look forward to the next twenty years.

Time has a funny way of sprinting by then creeping by in slow motion before rushing past again. Occasionally, time even stands still for a single moment or two. And while time can change our outsides, adding wrinkles and gray hairs and bumps and lumps and scars and flabby bellies, our deep down inside core stays as young as we allow, which is why high school seems like it was just a few years ago.

High school is when we start to spread our wings. It's when we test ourselves and our parents; it's when we realize what the words to those pop songs really mean; it's when we are faced with temptations and have to decide whether to jump in and accept any consequences or to turn and walk away; it's when we think we've got it all figured it; only to find out later, we don't.

I won't be attending my high school reunion, but I have been thinking of those in my class of 1993 and those who helped to shape me and those who left their marks on my heart. And I wouldn't change a thing. Would you? Over and out...

 Anna

Related articles

Shades of Youth {Tanning and Teens and Cancer}

Dick.....Not just the Name of a Sporting Goods Store {They know more than you think}

A Force of Nature {Tornado Alley}

Deja Vu

So many tears. So many memories, So much devastation.

Tornadoes ravage large cities, tiny towns and mid-sized suburbs across our country quite frequently and with evergrowing force and destructive powers, especially during this season between cold and hot. All those who suffer this fate receive my sympathies and my prayers; and yet, not all of them hit home, both literally and figuratively.

Yesterday, Moore, OK, a suburb between Oklahoma City and Norman was slammed by an extremely large and menacing monster of a twister. By evening, scores were counted as injured, at least 24 killed, but maybe more, hundreds of houses blown to smithereens and at least two schools demolished with kids and teachers inside. Heartbreaking.

But this is not the first time a terrible, twisting force of nature has traveled this path. Fourteen years ago, on May 3, 1999, a huge and powerful tornado tore up a swath of land in this exact location, killing 36 and destroying a community and wreaking havoc across the small state.

Fourteen years ago on May 3^rd 1999, I was living in Norman, OK. I was just finishing up my second year of law school at OU. I was hunkered down under a couch with my best friend, Jennifer, with my 2 cats in their carrier in between us, listening to KFOR on the radio, after losing the cable signal. I heard the reports of destruction; I heard the fear and excitement in the reporters' voices; and I heard the devastation of loss and confusion in the wandering, dirty and bloodied, newly homeless residents of Moore, OK, just a few miles up the road.

Later, I bought blankets and pillows and drove as far as we could North on I-35 to drop off the provisions at a makeshift shelter. I waited for the TV to come back on and cried at the reports coming in. I sat frozen in my own untouched apartment listening and waiting and scared as tornadoes popped up in the dark all night long.

Tears

Yesterday, the tears streamed down my face when I got a text from my husband saying there was a bad tornado going through Moore and a school had been hit. I cried because I remembered the devastation. I cried because I knew what monster tornadoes in OK can do. I cried because I'm a parent.

I immediately tuned in to KFOR and began reliving that awful day fourteen years ago. The same anchors were there. The same images popped up on the screen. The same scared, confused, shocked voices were heard, report after report. But, the devastation even worse; this time, the tornado was over 2 miles wide, rather than a 1 mile wide tornado of 1999.

The focus was on one of the two elementary schools decimated in the monster's path. I couldn't tear away, just as I couldn't fourteen years ago. I watched, I listened, I prayed, I cried and I missed my friend Jennifer who passed away last summer.

The similarities were eerie, but the difference for me was that this time I am a mom. I could not stop putting myself in the shoes of those kids' parents; frantically waiting or feverishly trying to get down the road to the school or desperately working to reach anyone by phone.

The tears continued to flow through the reports of the third graders unaccounted for and the later reports that the search had turned from rescue to recovery of at least two dozen students. My heart is absolutely broken as I think about and pray for those kids' families.

Perspective

You must understand that OK has some of the best weather coverage in the country. These meteorologists and reporters take the weather seriously. They go live and stay live and warn and pass along information and mourn and report and share and save lives.

The sheer force and power of these storms certainly shows us how very little we control and how very quickly life can take a very sharp turn. We are but a tiny piece of God's creation. We are not so powerful as to prevent such storms that are whipped up by nature.

The Scoop

Many people lost everything they had; family members, homes, pets, possessions, vehicles; their confidence was shaken; their faith rattled; their resolve tested.

Fourteen years ago, people lost these things too, but they rebuilt; they added safe rooms and storm shelters this time; they moved on, but they did not forget. They will do the same again, but right now life is shattered. These people are Oklahomans; Sooners; Settlers. Over and out...

Anna