Hanging By a Thread

One More Opinion Re: Bathrooms and Policies

There has been a lot of discussion on Target's bathroom policy regarding transgender persons. I, myself, am baffled by why this is an issue that Target thought they needed to address. I think people can and have been deciding which bathroom is the right one for them without an official policy announcement.

Target is not the only company who has such a policy that basically says people can use the bathroom that best aligns with the gender they identify themselves as, but by making a formal announcement of this policy they have grabbed the attention of folks who, in the name of protecting Christian values and the sanctity of the family, choose to prey on people's fears of those who are different from themselves and create a culture of hate.

I am pretty sure that we have all been using public bathrooms alongside transgender persons for many, many years. Their use of the public restrooms has not created a danger for women and children (this is the group of people these "Christian Family" groups say they are worried about) any more than using public facilities with any strangers does.

Which brings me to something I have been thinking of lately regarding public bathrooms, having just returned from a weeklong trip to Washington D.C. with my two boys, ages 7 & 9 , and my mother. I, as a female with two boys, worry about bathroom situations every time we are out in public without my husband to go with the boys to the men's bathroom. My boys are getting too old to accompany me into the women's bathroom and yet I do worry about sending them into the men's bathroom alone, not knowing who is in there, the setup of the facilities, the condition of the facilities. When I do send them into a men's bathroom (always the two boys together) I stand VERY near the door and tell them to scream if ANYTHING happens that makes them feel uncomfortable and I'll be there immediately.

These days there is often a family/companion care bathroom available, which is always a relief to me. And I am sure this is also a relief to those who are transgender or don't in some way identify with their gender as we as a society identify such gender.

However, I will say that in certain settings or situations I do bring my boys into the women's bathroom with me. I do this prepared to tell anyone who dares challenge me to mind her own business. No one has ever said a word to me, but I'm always prepared.

Recently my 9 year old was feeling sick while we were out and the only bathroom options were men and women. I was not going to send my son into the men's room when he was sick where I couldn't get to him. We went into the women's bathroom together where I was able to be there with him and help him.

No matter what society says about what we should be doing and how we should be acting, I am a mother first, and I will do what is safest and best for my kids in any situation. However, the real or perceived dangers of a child using a public bathroom without a parent there have always been the same. This policy is not changing the possible threat involved.

So, when these "Christian Family" organizations say, "oh no, we can't let transgender people use the bathroom with US!" And then make people believe that on top of having to worry about transgender persons, this policy will also open the door, literally and figuratively, to people with evil intentions, red flags go up for me. These organizations are Christian in name only. Don't be fooled.

Christ did all things in love and embraced all people, regardless of whether they were sinners or saints, believers or nonbelievers, rich or poor, men or women. We, as Christians, are called to do the same. But these organizations, besides casting a false light on Christ Jesus, are breeding a culture of fear and hate and an Us v. Them attitude.

I would argue that people who intend to commit evil acts don't need a policy in place to perpetrate these crimes. There are bad people out there. Period. And we need to be alert, aware and careful in all situations. True. But I don't think that this policy announcement has increased that threat to women and children. It may, however, have increased the threat to those who are hated and feared because of their differences.

The argument addressed by the American Family Association reminds me of another time; one from not so long ago when in the south there were separate bathrooms for blacks and whites, in addition to separate restaurants, drinking fountains, seating, churches, schools, etc. The white "Christian" men made these rules and laws and drew these lines out of fear and hate, but said it would protect their families and was the right thing to do. Well, thankfully, those laws and rules and way of thinking (for the most part) have been struck down and we see how ridiculous and hate-filled these policies from the past were.

When I read about boycotts and policies and arguments brought forth from these "Christian Family" organizations I see hate and fear and narrow mindedness brought about by ignorance and reliance on people who call themselves good Christian family men and women. I come from Texas and I call myself Christian, and I know and love many people who unwittingly fall for these ruses promoting values and morality that in reality are truly hate and fear of difference and a need to force all people to conform to their views and beliefs.

So, I will continue to worry about the safety of my boys every time I send them into a public men's bathroom alone, but not because I am worried about transgender persons. I will continue to stand VERY close to the door in case I'm needed. And I will continue to work to embrace and pray for all people, even those whose beliefs are so different from mine, such as these people who align themselves with this American Family Association, because that is what Jesus Christ calls us to do. And I will continue to try to teach my boys that we can learn so much from looking at situations from other's points of view and then drawing our own conclusions and showing them how beautiful our world is filled with people with so many differences.

Over and out…

Anna

5 Things {To Save World}

OK….So, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit when it comes to saving the world, but still, hear me out.

Plastic is a big problem for our Earth. As in, it takes years and years and years and years to break down. Some sources say it may takes plastic containers, bottles and bags 100s or even 1000s of years to break down. The truth is, we don't actually know how long it will take. Plastic bags have been around only 50 years….and they're all still piling up in landfills, etc.

So, our family has been trying our darndest to greatly reduce the amount of plastic we use. I know what you're thinking, "Your one little family not using so much plastic isn't going to save the world or make any great impact." And you're right. That's why each of us should be doing our part in "saving the world" whether it's reducing plastic usage, using fewer or no harmful chemicals in our homes, reducing our overall all carbon footprints, etc.

And did you know if you used just 3 reusable produce bags a week, you'd reduce your plastic bag usage by 150 in just one year? And did you further know that the average family goes through about 500 plastic baggies a year just for school and work lunches?

The way I see it is that if we choose to do things that reduce the waste and the harmful chemicals released into our air and leave our world a purer place for our kids and their kids or at the very least slow the damage to our planet and our people, then it's worth it.

And really these 5 things are EASY…there's just one I have trouble with….

1. Norwex Snack Bags/Sandwich Wraps. We NEVER send plastic baggies in school lunches. We also opt for reusable spoons and forks and travel sized enviro cloths for lunch napkins for waste free lunches. These bags are also great for small toys, crayons, pacifiers, etc. even makeup or nail files and polishes, etc., etc.
2. Reusable Bags for Shopping. Here's the one I have trouble with. I have them in my car, and I usually remember to take them in at Trader Joe's and my co-op, but often forget them when running into Target or a clothing store or shoe store, etc. I'm working on this one. And when I forget I do take my plastic bags to Target to recycle….I hope they actually recycle them!
3. Norwex Mesh Produce Bags. I use these at the grocery stores for fruits and veggies and for picking tomatoes and peppers in our garden – we have had a huge tomato crop and these bags are great for this job. My son even took one to school to store his headphones in. I use one in the freezer for the bananas that go mushy before they are eaten and get used in muffins, breads and pancakes. They are also great for washing grapes so that you don't lose them down the drain or for washing and/or storing Legos bath toys or Barbies and so many other things!
4. Compostable Trash Bags. I feel good about using these. I found 2 different brands at Lakewinds Co-op. They aren't too pricey and there are several sizes, depending on your needs. We have found them to be pretty strong and to work well.
5. Norwex Stainless Steel Straws. Think about how many millions of straws are tossed out each day….staggering isn't it? Well, if you use them in your own home or often stop for a carbonated beverage or shake or smoothie, then these stainless steel straws will serve you well. There's even a handy brush to clean them well! Again, I am working out a system to keep them in my car and remember to grab these and not the plastic version when we stop for a refreshing drink. My boys love to use them with milk.

OK, OK….I actually have 7 points for you, not 5….

1. Silicone Lids. I have been using these for about a year or so now. Norwex just launched a version too – work just the same and they are fantastic! The lids are safe for stovetops, ovens, microwaves and the fridge. There are so many reasons to love them. I don't even use metal lids for my pots now. The silicone lids make perfect rice, make the pasta water boil faster, keep food warm and still good for hours, steams veggies to perfection, keep baked good fresh and moist AND no more plastic wrap! Plus fewer dishes to wash since you can go from stove to fridge in the same container. Oh, and they don't stain or retain odor.
2. Beeswax & Cloth Wrap. I found this at my Lakewinds Co-op too, and they are great! They come in several sizes and even a variety pack. I use them to wrap cheese, bread, fruits, veggies, whatever and, again, NO PLASTIC WRAP or BAGGIES! You simply rinse it with cool water and dry it off and then wrap up the food. The warmth of your hand will mold and seal the beeswax and cloth wrap.

And this is what we're doing, along with removing all harmful chemicals from our home and recycling tons of plastic, paper and glass. Of course, there are always more things we can do…and we will. What are you focusing on changing in your home? Over and out….

Anna

**Full Disclosure: one of the many hats I wear is that of Norwex Independent Sales Consultant. However, none of these products were given to me and no company sponsored this post. This is simply my opinion based on experience using these products in my home.

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My Life {in a Bag}

Open Letter to Toyota {feeling a bit sentimental}

The War Against Drugs {A Parent's Battle Cry}

This is your Brain. This is your Brain on Drugs….{Sizzle}…Any Questions?... Just Say No!

My 5 year old equates anything that happened "a long time ago" with "back in the '80s." I think that he probably pictures horse drawn wagons on dirt roads and no internet and rotary phones that plug into the wall when he says this; you know, the dark ages.

To me, the 80s weren't so long ago; my childhood resides there. It was a time of big, clunky station wagons without seat belts, Barbie dolls, running barefoot through summers that lasted forever, bikes with pompom tassels coming out of the ends of the handlebars, Star Wars, Ronald Reagan, Swatch Watches, Bon Jovi and cordless phones.

And in the 1980s, the U.S. launched several ad campaigns in combatting the war on drugs. Any child of the '80s will still know by heart the words and the images associated with these campaigns from the war on drugs.

I can easily recall these and hear the sizzle of the egg in the hot skillet, and it worked for me. Not that I would have been using drugs if it hadn't been for these ad campaigns, but it certainly made an impact.

It seems to me that little by little our society has forgotten about our full-on attack on drugs. I don't see billboards or t-shirts or print ads or commercials or YouTube videos or hashtags warning kids to Just Say No {to Drugs} or any other catch phrases warning against the perils of drugs, for that matter.

I don't have teenagers yet. So, maybe the kids are aware of the dangers of drugs and maybe the parents are having meaningful chats with their teenagers and schools are still fighting their way through the war on drugs, but when I see a headline about a girl in high school who died after ingesting a synthetic LSD and that 5 teenagers have been charged with murder in relation to it, I think that perhaps it's time to bring back the fried egg comparisons and launch another targeted attack.

The teenager's death I refer to occurred in Woodbury, Minnesota; a nice, upper middle-class suburb to the east of the Twin Cities full of professional, white collar families, living in spacious homes with well-manicured lawns.

But this upper middle-class suburb was not immune from illicit activity in its high school. This girl bought little strips of pink paper laced with a synthetic form of LSD from a kid at school who got it from another kid at school who got it from another kid at school who got it from…well, you get the picture. Eventually, these little pink papers were traced to a 19 year-old who was arrested with a big stash of little pink papers.

Unfortunately, for this girl, her experimentation with drugs killed her, and now, these kids have been charged with her murder.

The article describes her as a very smart, interesting, passionate, funny, gifted teenager. She made the mistake of trying drugs with a friend during a sleepover and that mistake killed her and has forever changed the lives of her family and friends, the kids charged {as adults} with her murder and their families and friends too.

I have never trifled with drugs….not ever. I have never even smoked a cigarette…I've never even thought about doing these things. I know that this is not necessarily the norm, but it's true of me. And honestly, I don't understand why anyone would want to take these risks of addiction, affliction and death. However, I do realize that many do take these risks whatever their reasons.

And so, I say, We, as Parents, need to declare war on drugs again. We need to have these talks often! We need to say over and over "Just Say NO!" until they hear it in their thoughts and say it themselves without hesitation! We need to stand up to bad influences and be vigilant when it comes to who our kids are hanging out with and what they are doing when we aren't around. We need to sacrifice an egg and show them, "This is your Brain. And this is your Brain on Drugs!"

We need not be afraid to speak to our kids about sensitive matters. We need to keep the lines of communication open. We need to be sure our kids know they can talk to us…about anything. We need to have a community for our kids and for us, as parents.

We need to be soldiers in this war on drugs. This war never really ended it was just placed on the back burner, temporarily blocked by other agendas and campaigns, but it's still there.

My heart breaks for this girl who lost her life, her family, the kids charged with murder and their families. There is so much loss in this situation; loss that never had to be. These kids had the power of choice, but made the wrong decisions and ended up here; this does not end well for any of them.

But WE, the parents, have the power of choice too. And I choose to pick up my battle gear and step onto the field and unabashedly fight this good fight to keep our kids safe, well-educated and confident when it comes to simply SAYING NO to drugs or bullies or any other unsavory behavior. What do you choose?

Whether you agree with the '80s ad campaign tactics or not, surely you can agree that parents have to be the ones to broach this subject with our kids and give them guidance and information regarding these matters.

And maybe I'm wrong and these parents did all these things and it didn't make a difference. Even still, I will be talking and talking and talking with my kids about drugs and many other things for many years to come. Over and out...

Anna

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Dick.....Not just the Name of a Sporting Goods Store {They know more than you think}

Awash in Color: Boy Colors v. Girl Colors

Sleeping with the Enemy {Kids and PJs}

Empting out the Drawers

I just threw out all my kids' pajamas; all the fleecy, fuzzy Mario Bros, Angry Birds, Avengers, Ninja Turtles and snowmen playing football. No, I wasn't having a mommy tantrum. It wasn't a brain dead mommy moment either. Nope, I was lucid and calm, but not happy about it.

The reason I tossed my kids PJs is because they were flame resistant; said so right on the tags. Sounds like a good thing, right? Well, it's not.

No, I certainly don't want my kids to catch on fire while wearing their jammies. But you know what concerns me more? Toxic chemicals.

Missing the Forest for the Trees

Here's what the U.S. Consumer Product and Safety Commission says about kids pajamas,

To protect children from burns, these rules require that children's sleepwear must be flame resistant and self- extinguish if a flame from a candle, match, lighter or a similar item causes it to catch fire. The rules cover all children's sleepwear above size 9 months and up to size 14 and require that

(1) the fabric and garments must pass certain flammability tests; or

(2) be "tight fitting" as defined by specified dimensions.

What this means is that the majority of kids' pajamas are treated to be made flame resistant, especially synthetic or fleece materials.

The Danger of Flame Retardants

Mothering Magazine reports, "the most common chemicals used on pajamas are halogenated hydrocarbons (chlorine and bromine), antimony oxides, and phosphate based compounds. These offgas into the air kids breathe and are skin irritants."

HealthyChild.org found that "While flame retardant chemicals like chlorinated TRIS and PBDE have been phased out due to toxicity concerns, others remain, like tetrakis (hydroxymethyl) phosphonium chloride, a.k.a. "Proban" or "Securest." This popular treatment has been linked to a variety of health effects including genetic changes, cancer promotion, and liver and nervous system damage."

And yet, PracticallyGreen.com says that "One carcinogenic chemical, chlorinated Tris (TDCPP), which was removed from children's pajamas back in the 1970s was recently found by The Washington Toxics Coalition and Safer States in 80 percent of new baby and children's products!"

Why This Bothers Me

I watch what we put in our bodies, avoiding processed foods, high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated fat, artificial colors and flavors, preservatives, etc. I am careful about what we put on our skin; lotions, shampoo, sunscreen, makeup, skin creams, etc. I don't buy harmful chemical cleaners; we use Norwex, of course, cleaning mostly with microfiber and water (ask me how). We don't use products with harmful chemicals in our laundry room; we use Norwex there too.

I am careful to watch for other areas that chemicals could make their way into our home, but chemicals in the kids' pajamas, leaching out into the air, being inhaled, as my darlings sleep; that makes me mad!

Check the Labels

There's a remedy. Not all kids' pajamas are flame resistant. It's not necessarily easy to find them and they probably aren't covered in your kids' favorite characters and they aren't necessarily cheap, but you can find them. Look for snug-fitting, long-underwear style jammies. You can always get them at Hanna Andersson and Gap Kids has some styles that are not flame resistant online. The tags must say whether they are flame resistant or not; so always check there to be sure.

The CPSC requires all sleepwear that is not flame-resistant to bear a label saying, "For child's safety, garment should fit snugly. This garment is not flame resistant. Loose-fitting garments are more likely to catch fire." Look for this bright yellow tag attached to the jammies; this is what you want to see. This means it is free of toxic flame retardant treatments.

The Scoop

This is important to me. I care what goes into my kids bodies. Kids are effected much more than we, as adults, are when it comes to chemical levels in our bodies. The rate of cancer and other conditions related to toxic chemicals is astounding and on the rise. The question I have begun to ask is not why did so-and-so get cancer, but why do we all not have cancer.

This post is not meant to frighten you, but to arm you with information. If you have information, you can make informed choices and make a difference for your family. And if we all make informed choices, we could change our communities, our country, our world.

Now is the time to start taking a stand against harmful chemicals; it's not too late, but we must stand up and DO something.

And please note that the federal regulations require kids' sleepwear to be flame-resistant because of external heat sources that a child might come in contact with, such as a fire in a fireplace, a candle, an electric heater, a lighter, etc. This requirement is not in place in order to protect a child from a house fire.

Therefore, if you choose to clothe your children in pajamas that are not flame resistant, do exercise extra caution around any open flames/heat sources, as I would hope you would do regardless of whether their pajamas are treated with toxic chemicals.

And I have more to say on several related topics too….coming soon.

So, are you tossing out your kids' pajamas? Over and out…

Anna

Ninjas do NOT wear Orange {A Cautionary Tale of Halloween Safety}

Letting Imaginations Go Wild, but Keeping Heads Screwed On

My boys love to dress up. We have drawers and drawers of costumes, accessories, hats, helmets, masks, disguises, belts, capes and more. Often you can find my kids and the other kids who live on our block running about in costume from April through Oct, before the winter gear takes precedence. We take our dressing up seriously. My kids get costumes at Christmas, birthdays and Halloween. We have tons of costume makings.

This year I put my foot down and told them they must come up with a costume from the drawers. I was willing to buy any necessary accessory, preferably something that could be gotten from the Dollar Store or doubled as a piece of clothing to be worn long after Halloween night.

My 7 year old son decided to be Snake Eyes, the black ninja from G.I. Joe. This was simple enough. I did need to buy him new long underwear for this winter anyway; we found all black. In case of a cold trick-or-treat outing {looks like it will be} we picked up a black hoodie on sale at Target and in case of a really cold night he has a pair of black cargo pants to put on. I, of course, had the perfect black scarf {for wrapping around his face} and winter stocking cap to complete his ensemble.

Do you see the problem with this costume?

We trick-or-treat in the dark here in Minnesota; the sun sets around 6 right now. My son's costume is all black. As a very cautious mama way too clued in to consumer safety and legal issues, this does not bode well with me. So, I told him he could wear his orange snow boots with his costume. He told me that Snake Eyes does not wear orange or any other color for that matter…only black.

I won that battle. He's wearing the boots and I'll be adding some glow-in-the-dark accessories too.

My 5 year old son had a melt down because he wasn't getting the new storm trooper costume with blaster gun he'd seen at Target. Then, we pulled out ALL the costume drawers and came up with various costumes; magician, fireman, Ninja turtle….and finally, a pirate. An awesome pirate costume that he is thrilled about wearing. Of course, we still have more than a week before Halloween. I expect he will change his mind 2 or 3 more times before the 31^st.

Here's what you have to remember when it comes to costume safety:

1. Make sure your child has reflective and/or bright colorful gear/accessories;
2. Be sure your child can see; a child might not see a car coming down the street or could miss a step up to a door or trip over the curb, etc. if he or she can't REALLY see through the mask/costume;
3. Be careful about flowing princess skirts and long Rapunzel braids and billowing Dracula capes and puffy pumpkins, etc. when it comes to jack-o-lanterns with candles inside on porches and sidewalks and yards. Often costumes are made of highly flammable fabrics and kids can crowd onto a porch, reaching for treats and can quickly catch on fire, if proper care is not taken;
4. Face paint and masks and tattoos can cause allergic reactions, so carefully check the labels for known allergens and/or questionable ingredients.

The Haunted House

This weekend we decorated our home and yard with Halloween-themed décor. I don't go all out for all holidays, but we somehow have a number of Halloween decorations, and my boys love Halloween. So, we spent an evening arranging our spooky and kooky artifacts, collected over the years.

We don't put much outside though, including our pumpkins, lest a squirrel vandalize our carved creations or a passerby lift our gravestones and skeletons. We have just a few items in the yard or near the house, but nothing at or near our front door where little ghosts and goblins will come calling on Halloween night. Here's why:

1. Jack-o-lanterns with candles can cause fires if costumes get too close; be cautious about where you place these golden orbs or use battery-operated candles;
2. Be sure your porch lights are on to light the way for the kids. Be sure all decorations and yard debris are cleared of the path to and from your door; these can trip up kids wearing masks on and big costumes;
3. Don't go overboard on bloody bodies and creepy zombies and freaky witches that move and talk and cause nightmares in little ones. Scaring the younger trick-or-treaters is not cool.

Unseen Risks Lurking in Candy {and I don't mean razor blades}

Two years ago, my kids collected pop from one home and a cool-aid punch pouch from another. I did not allow them to consume these items. I'm not a fan of artificial colors and flavors and sweeteners in my kids' diets. Yes, I know it's once a year and just about everything coming home in their plastic pumpkins goes into the junk category, but still a gal has to draw the line somewhere.

I have begun to read labels VERY closely this year after having to go gluten free due to health reasons. I have often discovered that gluten can be found lurking in candy, waiting to catch me unsuspecting. I have been tripped up by these sneaky treats more than once, I am sorry to say.

One of the effects of having to be very careful about the food I eat is that I have become more sensitive to all those who must be cautious about the food they consume or come in close contact with, including dairy and nuts. It's not easy to avoid these items that are prolific in our foods. You must never let your guard down when watching for certain food enemies. In the past, I regret to say that I never considered the food limitations of those who came knocking at my door looking for treats.

So, if you, like me, wish to think about trick-or-treaters who may have special dietary needs; here are a few tips:

1. Read labels – is it free of wheat/gluten, nuts and dairy? Was it produced in an area that items with gluten, dairy or nuts were produced? While that may not be safe enough for some with food allergens, it's a place to start;
2. Look for gummy fruits and/or suckers, etc. at Whole Foods that are free of the above-mentioned items and also free of artificial flavors, colors and sweeteners.
3. Go basic with snack size dark chocolate bars or suckers; always read the label for hidden ingredients, of course;
4. Have a variety of items that include candy/snacks that are free from gluten/nuts/dairy.

Of course, the parents of kids who must not consume certain ingredients will be vigilant and check the candy haul for violators that must be removed, but no child wants to see a large chunk of his or her treat stash be taken away and quarantined or even worse, consumed by his or her parents. So, think twice before buying all Snickers, Reece's and Kit Kats for your candy bowl.

Let Porch Lights Guide Your Path

Lastly, be cautious where you go to trick-or-treat. Of course, NEVER go to a home with no lights on. The inhabitants might just be out with their kids or at a friend's home, but it could mean a person living in that home is a sex offender and not allowed to open the door to children. If a situation doesn't feel right, go with your instinct. An event at a church or mall or the zoo, etc. might be the best and safest option for your family. You can find these events with a quick Google search.

If you choose to accept this Halloween mission, there are two goals for Halloween: have fun and be safe! Over and out….

Anna

Dick…..Not just the Name of a Sporting Goods Store {They know more than you think}

Double Meanings

One day last spring while running errands in the car, my son asked, "Is dick a bad word?" I asked him, "Why do you ask?" He told me that there had been a discussion at school and one boy had said it was a bad word and my son had told him, "No it's not. It's the name of a store…Dick's Sporting Goods."

We don't mince words; we tell the truth with our kids. So, I explained the different meanings of the word. And told him not to use it in the one sense. Secretly, I was glad that he had been the innocent and naïve one in this situation.

I'm glad he felt like he could bring this to me and ask me about it. I wasn't surprised that he felt comfortable bringing it up with me, but I was surprised that this had happened in first grade.

And now, in second grade, I hear my son and his friends talking about who has a crush on whom. I had lunch with my son on Friday and the girl who sat next to me told me she has 4 boyfriends. Now, do they know what these things mean and are they acting on any of it; I doubt it…at least I hope not. Even still, I find it mind-boggling that all this happens at such a young age.

Underage Viewers

But then, I read an article written by a British editor/film maker who was shocked to find in his research that studies are showing that kids are being exposed to pornography as young as 10 years old. My son is 7 that's just 3 years older than he is now. This article and these studies were all based on data from Great Britain, but I'd imagine the numbers aren't too much different here in the good ol' U.S.A.

What was even more shocking is the knowledge these pre-teen and teenage students involved in one of the studies possessed on the subject of pornographic sex and the ease with which they discussed the matter. The kids reported sharing links on Facebook and through texts and emails. They said their parents trusted them online and had no idea they were accessing such material; consequently, there were little to no safeguards in place on their computers, tablets or phones.

The information is quite troubling when you think about our non-stop plugged-in generation of kids who are always "on" whether it's a phone, tablet, computer or gaming system. We trust that they won't wander into some dark, seedy online avenue; we believe they will be safe communicating with friends or listening to music, playing games, doing homework, accessing TV and movie programming, but we are wrong.

They often know more and are capable of more when it comes to technology; more than we think they know and sometimes more than we know. After all, this is how their generation lives; plugged in.

Free for All

Here's an example of what can happen when you don't have parental safeguards in place and you mistakenly believe they don't know their way around the internet.

This summer, my boys and I took an almost 3 week driving trip to Texas and back. I was armed with two tablets for the long days of driving; one was ours and one was my mom's. Ours, of course, had passwords galore; some for getting in and out of profiles, another for getting online and still another for buying and downloading more games. My mom's had a handful of games, downloaded by my husband before our trip began, but as I later realized, there were no passwords set on this tablet.

Often, it was my 4 year-old who played on my mom's tablet. Periodically, I would hear the boys discussing various games. Some sounded familiar, others didn't. I would ask them about these that didn't ring a bell. But I was driving; I didn't see the games they were playing.

On the way home, after 2.5 weeks of traveling and visiting and passing the time on the tablets, I heard the shrieks of a woman coming from my mom's tablet. I asked my 4 year old what he was playing. He told me it was some game that you try to kill the lady. WAIT! WHAT? I went into panic mode.

I was stuck in traffic and not able to pull over to check the tablet. I told him to stop playing that immediately and NEVER go to that game again. I began asking about the other games they had downloaded for "free" and found out there was a hunting game and an army game that sounded unacceptable, as well. I gave strict orders to play only what Daddy had put on the tablet.

I talked to my husband on the phone and told him my concerns. How on earth did he find these games? How many had he downloaded and had they all really been free, as my 4 year-old thought?

Parental Fail

Well, it turns out he had downloaded quite a few games; many of them not age appropriate. And they were NOT free. We ended up having to pay my mom over $50 for all the games that he downloaded in that 2.5 weeks; many of which we deleted from the tablet due to content. Fortunately, he had not actually played most of these games.

I had not realized there were no passwords in place; I had not known that he would have access to finding other games and downloading them; I had been naïve. My 4 year-old was more tech savvy than I had been. He could have stumbled into sexually graphic materials. He didn't, but he did find violent, inappropriate material.

We, as parents, cannot let down our guards. We must do everything we can to keep our kids safe while online.

Porn on the Brain

One interesting point in the British article was the neurological study conducted regarding how the brain reacts to pornographic images. The results were astounding, even to scientist running the experiment. For some, those who were self-described porn addicts, the brain reacted to the pornographic images as a drug addict or alcoholic would react to narcotics or alcohol being introduced into the body.

Another interesting factor is that the particular part of the brain that responds to addictive behavior is not fully mature or completely developed until a person is in his or her mid-twenties. If our children, and it was particular risky for boys, are watching pornographic sex and viewing pornographic images from the time they are twelve, or perhaps, younger, or even a few years older, by the time they are in their mid-twenties, these images could have affected their brains, much as drugs or alcohol does.

And that's just part of it. These kids are learning about sex through porn; it's rough, violent, dirty, ugly and cheap. This is not OK.

The Scoop

We must be proactive. We must not wait until we stumble upon these images and links on the family computer or their own phones. We must talk to our kids about these issues; the online safety factor, but also about the sex part too.

The internet is a great place to search for information, but you don't want your kids to learn about the birds and bees through Wikipedia or worse….much, much worse.

Read the article. Your jaw will drop….probably more than once. And then, go check all of your tech devices connected to the internet and be sure there are passwords in place. Additionally, if you have pre-teen/teenagers, do you have passwords/access to their social media accounts and emails? Can you see their text messages? Do you have boundaries and expectations set? Have you talked about the online risks with your child? Have you talked to them about sex? Remember, kids as young as 10, are being exposed to online porn. You may need to talk your child earlier than you had planned.

This is a battle that we can win, but it's up to us, the parents, to be ever vigilant when it comes to protecting our kids. Over and out….

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {This is Serious!}

I haven't touched on this subject in a while. It's not because I'm not seriously passionate about this topic, but simply because I feel that if I harp on it too much, you'll stop paying attention. I'm a parent…I know how these things work.

But here's the gosh darn truth…your kids are watching you. What are you teaching them about this ultra-important issue? Your child will one day drive on his or her own…the decisions he or she makes will most likely reflect what you have taught by example.

Not a parent? Keep reading…this information applies to anyone with a driver's license.

Here are 5 Things You Should Know about Distracted Driving:

1. Kids are walking to school and waiting at bus stops in the mornings now….you can't always see them very well when the sun is rising, big and bright. It is especially hard to see pedestrians when you are looking at your phone or concentrating on having a conversation with a person on the other end of the line and are also blinded by light.
2. If you see a person texting or otherwise obviously distracted and driving recklessly, please get the license plate number of that vehicle and pull over and call 911. Texting and/or using handheld devices while driving is illegal in many cities and states; reckless, negligent, distracted driving is illegal in every state, regardless of the cause. You could save a lives by taking action.
3. It is NOT efficient use of one's time to make or take calls or text or receive texts or check Facebook or Twitter or email while operating a vehicle. It is dangerous for you, as the driver, for any passengers in your vehicle and all the vehicles around you. Don't be tempted by this pitfall.
4. Be responsible. Not only should you not text or talk on the phone while driving, but you also must not take phone calls or answer texts from people who are driving. If it's clear that the person on the call is driving, simply explain your position by saying something along these lines. "Oh, it sounds like you are on the road right now. I'd be glad to talk to you once you get to your destination or at another time that is convenient to you when you are not driving." If it's clear to you that the person is texting you while on the road, simply do not reply.
5. Would you drink too much alcohol and drive your car? Would you allow your teenager to driver drunk? Would you let your kid bounce around the backseat, as we used to do as kids? Would you drive without your seat belt on?

When we will begin to view distracted driving involving cell phones to be as dangerous as drinking and driving or driving without proper restraints?

There was a time that driving without seat belts or car seats was considered perfectly fine. There was a time that people were not concerned about drinking too much alcohol and getting behind the wheel. Times change. I think distracted driving will eventually be recognized for what it is; too risky to be allowed.

Distracted driving due to cell phone use claims many lives each year. In 2011, 3,331 were killed in automobile accidents due to distracted driving. An additional 387,000 people suffered injuries in accidents due to distracted drivers.

It all happens in a blink of an eye. I have yet to receive a text or Facebook message or voicemail or email or phone call that was anywhere near being as important as my life, my kids' lives or lives of the strangers that share the roadways with me. How about you?

Please join me in my crusade against talking or texting while driving. Phone Down. Eyes Up. It's really very simple. Simple Stop. Over and out…

Anna

I’ll Never.... {Eating Our Words}

I reasoned and justified and talked myself in and out of it and finally succumbed. The simple truth was that he wanted this one thing for his birthday from us and my parents, and we actually thought it wasn't a bad idea. And yet, I had always said, I'll NEVER buy that!

But we did. We bought our 7 year old a Nintendo 3DS for his birthday....and you know, we haven't regretted it yet.

The world of parenting is full of "I'll Never....." moments that must be choked down, sometimes with bitterness and other times with laughter.

You want to know a few of our "I'll Never" statements from the past?

I'll Never let my kids sleep in our bed.....

I'll Never feed my kids fast food....

I'll Never let my kids watch TV for hours....

I'll Never buy any Gaming system for my kids...

I'll Never dress my kids in clothes with characters on them....

I'll Never yell at my kids...

Famous last words!

The truth is that before we have kids we have no idea what it's like to negotiate the parental minefields day in and day out. We certainly think we do, but we don't.

A couple that we are quite fond of once said pre-kids, "We'll NEVER let our kids scream." Seriously. We still laugh (good naturedly) about that one.

They now have kids. I have heard their kids scream. They weren't able to stop it from happening.

So, were we right to give in to our "I'll Nevers?" Does this make us poor parents? Does this make us weak?

No, it means we are mere mortals who negotiate our way to more sleep or through a busy day or with a happy kid wearing a Lighting McQueen t-shirt and Batman shorts with Transformer sandals or kids who sometimes get yelled for good or for bad and who sometimes have lazy TV days while eating McDonald's Happy Meals on occasion.

And we are all OK.

Never is a strong word. Never lasts a long time.

Before we have kids we are pretty much in control of our days and nights. We make adult decisions with the reasoning of an adult. We don't have much cause to yell on a daily basis. We go to sleep and stay asleep until it's time to get up. We don't repeat ourselves 600 times a day or wipe someone else's bottom or remind someone to pee into the toilet instead of all around the toilet or in the backyard. We don't say things like, "Please don't lick the window" or "Where did you get that French fry?" or "Stop hitting your brother with the sword!"

Before we have kids we are pretty reasonable, decent, clean and well-kept individuals with broad minds and deeply social calendars. And then, we bring tiny little bundles into our homes.

They don't look very dangerous. They can't even walk or talk. But they pretty much destroy just about everything you thought your life was.

They make you eat your pre-baby words and change your heart and soul and living space and schedule and calendar entries.

Now, if you have kids you know what I'm talking about, and if you don't then you are one rigid, structured parent with very pliable offspring. If you don't have kids....well, watch your words. Some of those "I'll Nevers" are hard to swallow.

Of course, having to swallow ill chosen words can come from judging other's parenting style or lack thereof too. Another point we must all remember and keep in mind before spitting out those words that follow, "I'll Never" is that unless we have walked a mile in another's shoes, we don't know all the circumstances and we aren't permitted to weigh in on the character or fitness of another parent (unless under severe circumstances, as outlined below).

And yet, there are a few "I'll Nevers" that MUST be followed...

I'll Never shake my baby...

I'll Never leave my child unrestrained in a vehicle....

I'll Never text and drive, especially while my kids are in the car...

I'll Never leave my young child in a vehicle alone...

I'll Never leave out chemical cleansers or other poisonous hazards...

So you have to choke down a few "I'll Nevers." We all do. It simply means we're parents. So, have a cup of joy and side of silliness with your bitter sweet "I'll Never" because laughter is always better than resentment. And remember to be gentle with yourself and others and reserve judgment. Over and out...

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {Before You Start Your Summer}

I have a memory of a summer day in south Texas. My brother and I spent the day at a family friend's house. I don't know why this memory stands out so much, but it is always easily retrieved from my mental files when I think of summer and sun and swimming.

They had big above ground pool and deck. We were in the pool almost the whole day. We got out for lunch. We had bologna and mayo sandwiches on white bread. I remember this because we never ate bologna at home. After lunch we got back in the pool and swam the afternoon away.

The sun was hot and bright and my skin was pale. I can still feel and taste and smell that day in my mind.

It wasn't until later in the evening when I had gone home and gotten out of the sun and out of my swim suit that my skin turned red and hot and tender. I looked like a lobster. I don't think I'd had sunscreen on at all that day. It certainly wasn't the only time I was sunburned; it was the mid-80s, we weren't so cautious of the damage that sun can cause, but for some reason that day stands out.

Summer means fun and pools and hot sun soaking into our pale-of-a -vampire skin and sprinklers and baseball games and lakes and lemonade and sand and concerts by the lake and picnics and golf and these things warrant a quick summer safety reminder course.

Over the past three years, I've written a number of posts on summer safety, including pool hazards, sunburns and sunscreens, water safety, bike helmets and more.

Life happens in an instant, and my philosophy is that it's better to be prepared when it does. So, before you go out and start your summer, please do read through these posts and visit ewg.org to check your sunscreen too.

5 Things You Should Read Before You Start Your Summer:

1. Pool Safety: The Overly Cautious Traveler: Must Read Pool Safety Tips. Good tips, and you'll get a kick out of my paranoid side too; Distracted Vigilance: Tips for Preventing Drownings. Don't use your phone {for any purpose} while you're supposed to be watching kids in the water....
2. Sun: Sunburn...I Mean Summer Memories: Tips for Playing it Safe in the Sun. We definitely need some sun for Vitamin D, but too much is not a good thing; What's Your SPF? The Dangers of Sunscreen {be sure to check your brand at www.ewg.org.
3. Bikes: Spring Fling: Getting the Properly Fitting Bike Helmet {with Video}. This is important, folks! ; Blessed Bikes: Rules of the Road. Do you know the bike laws when it comes to being a biker and being a driver?
4. Heat: Not Even for a Minute: Children Left Unattended in Vehicles.This is also serious, folks! And another take on this subject: Soapbox: Hot Cars and Free-Range Parenting.
5. Travel: Flying with Kids? Great; it can be a wonderful adventure, but be sure you are prepared: The Well Packed Bag: Regulations Regarding Air Travel with Kids; Control Freak: Tips for Safe and Happy Traveling with Kids. Have fun!

You have now completed Summer 2013 Orientation....GO OUT AND ADVENTURE! Over and out....

Anna

Nanny Files {A Public Advert}

We're looking for a part-time nanny to start ASAP! We have failed to find a good fit since our beloved Katrina left the country to teach school! So, I thought long and hard, and this is what I came up with. Here's my description of the perfect {or nearly so} candidate for this position in our home:

Please don't apply unless you fit the following points:

1. MOST IMPORTANT! Must adore – and I stress ADORE – dogs, cats and boys!!
2. In college with 2 afternoons available (give or take a bit, noon to 5) and some evenings on the rather rare occasion that the Dear Husband and I get to have a date night;
3. Should be kinder and more patient than I am;
4. Enjoy playing at the park or in the yard, weather permitting;
5. Know the difference between Captain America and Captain Rex;
6. Enjoy sports;
7. Understand boys and the rough parts and tender parts;
8. Understand me and get along with me, the mom {not difficult at all if you are the right one for this job};
9. Realize that chaos and order can both reside simultaneously in one small home;
10. Not freak out about a little {or a lot} of Saint Bernard slime on your clothes; it happens...frequently. Relax, we have towels;
11. Really and truly like our family;
12. Have a sense of humor and a sharp wit and a knack for sarcasm;
13. Understand the 5 food groups and preparing a balanced meal/snack;
14. Have a vehicle of your own!
15. NOT text/talk/use for any purpose your phone while operating a vehicle – or at least be willing to adhere to this strict rule when any member of my family is in the vehicle or within viewing distance of you;
16. Understand the importance of picking up....toys, crumbs, crayons, bits of paper, dishes, etc;
17. NOT smoke;
18. Not show up earlier than your scheduled start time.

Am I asking too much? Is this list much too Mary Poppinsish? Perhaps, but maybe, just maybe there's another Katrina out there for our family!

If this sounds like you, then we just might be the family for you! Please email me ([email protected]) ASAP for more information about this position! I look forward to chatting with you!

Dear local readers, if you know of anyone who fits this description, please do forward this to that person!

Thanks,

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {New Parent To-Do-ASAP List}

Parents new to the gig can be overwhelmed by the new schedules, new equipment, new roles, etc. Basically, it's like having your world flipped upside down and learning to live on the ceiling. Fortunately, all the newness quickly wears off and mercifully you can't remember what life was before when you merely tread on the floor, rather than the ceiling.

Well, I've got a few more items to add to your to-do lists, along with putting together the bouncy seat, adding baby to your insurance, getting a Social Security number and birth certificate and sending out the birth announcements.

Here are 5 things that new parents (or parents of any age kids if you haven't done these things) should do ASAP:

1. Stop talking/texting/using phone while driving. DO IT NOW! {You'll thank me when you have teen who doesn't text because of your good example...well, honestly, you'll thank me for many reasons, but that's a big one} #PhoneDownEyesUp
2. Make a Last Will & Testament {or update it if you already have one} and be sure all other estate planning documents are in order, considering you have a child(ren) now {Talk to an attorney};
3. Find a reliable babysitter; someone you pay; someone other than a family member {There are services to help you find one. I use www.sittercity.com};
4. Check {with a professional} to be sure that the car seat is installed properly and learn how to do it yourself.
5. Install CO detectors and smoke alarms, check for Radon, especially if in MN or other Radon hotspots, and be sure your hot water heater is set at a safe temperature {Mayo Clinic says safe is below 120 degrees Fahrenheit.}.

This is a manageable list, no? The biggest, most expensive, most time-consuming point on the list is the Will, but it really is something that should be tackled, but maybe after those crazy postpartum hormones settle down a bit. #1 can be done starting this very minute. PLEASE do not use your phone while you are behind the wheel, especially with your wee one on board. Over and out...

Anna

Random Tidbits: Completely Unrelated, Useful/Interesting/Semi-Important/You Fill-in-the-Blank Information

You know when you're driving along and your kid pipes up and says something like, "Mom, whatever happened to that stick that I picked up last summer when we were walking around that lake?" and then a few minutes later says, "For my next birthday {which is something like 8 months away, generally}, can I have a birthday cake that has Transformers, Mickey Mouse and Word Girl on it?" And the whole time you're thinking I have no idea and where are these random thoughts coming from.

Well, that's what this post is like.

I've had very few minutes to write lately, but I have a number of random tidbits knocking around in my head. It happens frequently that I have a random thought, save a clipping or jot down an idea that doesn't warrant an entire post, but is still worth mentioning. Sometimes I let them linger until I might have enough to weave the tidbits into something more, but often they simply unravel and these loose ends rot away tucked in a file or pasted on a "sticky note" on my computer desktop or randomly written in a notebook.

So, I decided I'd piece together a quick, unconnected run-down of these various bits of information; some tips, some interesting points, some important notes, some simple observations.

1. Tightening the Belt. For a while I had an internal struggle with trying to figure out whether the strap should be locked or left loose or did it even matter. Booster seats. There's just not the plethora of information about these "tween" seats; that is, "in between" 5 point harnesses and a seat belt without a special seat. I know some parents just leave it loose. I always tighten the seat belt strap.
   1. For one thing, Darling 2 is apt to fall asleep in a moving vehicle and slump forward or sideways. If the belt is loose, he could slip right out of the seat or be injured if the belt snapped tight in an accident or sudden stop.
   2. I dug around online and surprisingly didn't find any definitive answers. So, I asked a resident expert; whom I happened to run into at my Caribou Coffee. She said either way is fine. If you have a sleeper or wiggler then it's best to lock the belt. But if your child is older and is not prone to moving around and getting out of the belt, then loose is fine.
   3. So, there you have it. I still tighten out of habit and because Darling 2 still likes to fall asleep in the car, but Darling 1 likes to remind me that he doesn't have to be locked in now that we know the answer to this question.
2. Mythbusters – Distracted Driving. Do you know about Mythbusters? It's a fun program that we found on Netflix over Winter Break. They take various statements or "facts" and put them to the test. On one program they ran their own test to see whether talking on the phone while driving is as dangerous as driving drunk, as some studies have reported.
   1. Now they weren't legally drunk, but they were as close to it as possible; with police officers overseeing the experiment.
   2. And they weren't recklessly driving around on the roads with other drivers. They were on a driving course with an instructor.
   3. But the tests and testers were serious and the drivers were blown away by how difficult it was to stay on task and not break laws by missing signs, weaving, etc. while talking on the phone and after a few drinks.
   4. Their conclusion was that it is not a myth. Texting/talking on the phone is just as dangerous as driving drunk (or almost drunk), and they did indeed feel out of control {and it's rare that they don't bust the myth}. There you have it. So, Phone Down; Eyes Up! {TAKE MY CHALLENGE!}
3. Teachers Packing Heat. Some teachers may have decided to take matters into their own hands when it comes to "securing" their classrooms.
   1. In the weeks following the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting, according to MotherJones.com, about 600 teachers in some 15 states have signed up for a free firearms training program offered by Buckeye Firearms Association.
   2. MotherJones.com noted that there are only three states in the U.S. that allow concealed weapons in schools: Utah, Kansas and Mississippi.
   3. Now, 600 is a very tiny percentage of the number of teachers in our country, but it's an interesting note.
   4. I'd be curious to know which 15 states those teachers come from; and how many of those 600 are male and how many are female.
   5. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want my kids' teachers packing heat in class.
   6. And on a lighter note, I just pictured Darling 1's amazingly patient, kind and loving kindergarten teacher from last year, with a gun strapped to her hip; now that puts class rules in a very different light.
4. Boo Indeed! Sometimes you miss the ugly, prickly weed when looking for the "Green."
   1. I found a write up for a product called, Bambooee, in MN Parent under Hot Stuff/Go Green. It says this about the products on this page, "Ta-ta, toxins! These products eschew chemicals and/or promote reuse!"
   2. So, the Bambooee is apparently an earth-friendly, sustainable, reusable paper towel. The packaging in the photo says, "Reusable Washable Bleachable." BLEACHABLE? Earth-friendly? No Chemicals? Hmmmm.
   3. Sorry, but why would someone who is choosing to use this product; to be earth friendly, with sustainable, organic products want to or choose to use bleach on this natural, organic, sustainable product?
   4. Bleach is a toxic, harmful chemical, and if you introduce it to your natural, organic, sustainable, bamboo towel, then you're missing the point. I have a better product for you anyway...talk to me {cough, Norwex, cough}
5. Check Your Sources. OK, I am going to expand on this one in another post, but this issue warrants a quick mention here too.
   1. Please check the accuracy and the source of the information you post, Like and share on social media sites. I have noticed an increase in false information and misattributed, made up quotes zipping around on Facebook lately. It's a good rule of thumb to do a quick search to ensure that you are passing good and true information, before you click it out to your hundreds of friends and/or fans.
6. Loose Lips Sink Ships. And along those same lines, not every conversation or thought or situation should be retold or discussed or mentioned on social media sites.
   1. Some things should be left to the imagination; some things should remain confidential; and sometimes "it just wouldn't be prudent" to post every last detail.
   2. So, let your gut instinct be your gauge, but if your gut tells you everything is fair game; then, let's say,
      1. if it's about someone else, especially if you are in any way related or work together;
      2. if it's not nice or puts that person in a bad light;
      3. if there is a contract of any kind involved;
      4. if it sounds like it could be from a red neck reality show
   3. don't post it at all. Instead, call your mom, your spouse, your sibling or best friend and get it off your chest by sharing it with one person rather the 348 of your closest FB friends.

Over and out....

Anna

 

Related articles

God is with Us {Always and Everywhere}

Sticky Messes: Good Guys v. Bad Guys {Biggest Gun Wins}

Cleaning up Messes

My kids are really good at making huge messes. They don't mean to; they're just busy playing, creating some playscape or making confetti or trying to help by pouring their own juice or milk.

The result is something sticky covering the floor, splattered on the counter and cabinets and inevitably on the boys themselves, bits of paper everywhere, pillows, blankets and stuffed animals scattered throughout the house, draping over this or that, pulling down lamps and picture frames.

I know I should make them clean up these disaster zones, but I know from experience generally their version of cleaning up a mess only results in bigger messes that make me a steaming, angry, stressed out mom; which is another type of mess altogether.

So, I banish them from the desecrated area, and I clean up the mess. They do have to clean up toys scattered about; it's just these sticky, dirty, destructive messes that I take over.

Yes, I know. You're shaking your head and thinking. "That's the way to spoil them and make them think they can get away with anything."

Perhaps, but it keeps me sane, and avoids the chance of a headline like this, "Mom loses mind, runs screaming from home, never to be heard from again after sons attempt to clean up spilled apple juice with down comforter, only to rip seam and allow all the feathers to float through house, adhering to all sticky surfaces covered in apple juice, including the boys and a giant dog."

Sometimes it's just better to step in and take control of a smaller, still fixable mess before it becomes a giant, sticky, slippery slope heading straight down the tubes.

Guns in Schools

A few days before Christmas I happened to see a newspaper headline, "NRA leader urges armed guards in every U.S. school." Surely not.

I read more. "The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun," says NRA executive vice president, Wayne LaPierre. Hmmmm.

While I agree that gunmen on rampages who seem to all too often end up in schools of some level is a definite problem, I don't agree that throwing more guns into the mix is the answer.

The NRA's current plan is like standing to the side and watching my sons spill a gallon of apple juice all over the counter, the floor, the cabinets and themselves as they attempt to pour a small amount into a child-sized cup, then letting them clean it up with the socks on their feet and whatever else they can find to sop of the sticky liquid, leaving the residue behind to collect hair and dust and dirt, turning the whole thing into a filthy mess.

That doesn't solve or teach anything.

I realize that there are a number of schools in large cities that already have trained armed guards/off-duty police officers patrolling the halls, approximately one-third of public schools or 23,000 schools to be precise. I acknowledge this is necessary to keep the students in those schools safe, but I do not find this statistic to be an acceptable standard for schools.

Good Guys v. Bad Guys

This figure alone speaks volumes about the state of our country and the culture we live in. It saddens me to no end. But this proposed "solution" from the NRA enrages my faculties, breaks my heart and frightens me.

More guns, especially guns of the caliber and capacity that match those that the "bad guys" have access to do not belong in our schools. What lesson does this teach? The "bad guys" have big guns; well, the "good guys" will just get bigger guns.

Where does it end? Why stop at schools? How about movie theaters, churches, all government buildings, federal, state and city, malls, parks, the grocery store, libraries, parking garages, and every other public building? Perhaps it should be mandatory that every household owns an assault rifle. That ought to stop the "bad guys."

Of course, if we're all running around with guns all the time, that might make it difficult to tell the "bad guys" from the "good guys." Then what would the NRA propose?

Better Laws

I don't have all the answers, but I feel certain that adding more high powered weapons to our warped society is NOT the answer.

I am not advocating for all guns to be ripped from lawful gun owners' tight grasp. But I do support bans on assault rifles and high-capacity ammunition clips; weapons that belong only on a battlefield, if anywhere at all; weapons that can wipe out a great number of people in a few short seconds; weapons capable of ripping gaping holes in bodies and exploding through flesh and vital organs.

Weapons of this nature go far beyond hunting and "protecting" your home and family. If you oppose this type of ban, please explain to me the need for such devastating weapons.

Of course, bans are not the only aspects to be considered. Historically, horrible killing sprees that have taken place in schools, malls, churches, offices and theaters are carried out by people who have a mental illness of some sort. Therefore, mental illnesses, detection and treatment are also issues to be considered.

The Scoop

Call me naïve, but I don't want to live in a world where "the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun." And I just don't think we have to live in such a world...if we wake up and proactively start dealing with this issue.

The current gun laws are not adequate. We don't necessarily need more laws, but better laws. I challenge our lawmakers to disregard the powerful, $12-billion-dollar-a-year gun industry and its puppet, the NRA and find a way that protects our citizens' safety and rights. Over and out...

Anna

God is with Us {Always and Everywhere}

In the aftermath of this horrible tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School I have seen various posts on Facebook and scattered through articles saying this massacre has nothing to do with stricter gun laws. Instead, these posts, remarks, quotes insist we need to "put God back in schools."

These statements sadden and confound me.

I am a Christian. I love my Lord. It matters not where I go, my God is with me always and everywhere.

To me, these statements imply that since our schools are secular, God abandoned these children and teachers in their hour of greatest need; as if God couldn't step through those shattered glass doors because our government adheres to the separation of church and state, respecting all religions.

Pardon me, but that's not the God I know. No, I know God was in that school on Friday, December 14, 2012 at 9:40 am.

God stood at those locked school doors, weeping as the gunman {whom I refuse to dignify by mentioning his name} made his way toward the school, resolute in his gruesome mission. God was there in the hall giving strength and courage to Principal Dawn Hochsprung and School Psychologist Mary Sherlach as they lunged for the gunman in an effort to protect every child and teacher and staff member in the building.

God was there in each classroom as the teachers realized what those popping sounds in the hall were. God was there guiding the teachers, holding their hands and steadying their voices. God was there wrapping his arms around the frightened children huddled in darkened closets, corners of rooms and cramped bathrooms.

Rest assured God stood with those teachers in those two classrooms where all those young lives were suddenly and tragically taken from this earth. I'm sure God wept as he held their tiny, broken bodies. God was there when barricaded classes quietly prayed at the suggestions of students.

God was there, as the police began to arrive and quickly and efficiently combed through that school. God was there helping to lead the frightened and shocked students and teachers from the building.

God was there waiting for the terrified families to arrive at the school searching for their children, spouses, parents, siblings and friends; looking for the familiar faces; hoping for a comforting word. God was there holding up the parents, siblings and friends when those 26 didn't appear.

God was present at every prayer vigil and service that has been held for these lives taken. God is with the family of the gunman helping them to cope with this terrible burden. God walked alongside those first responders who witnessed the tragic result of a mad man with an assault weapon.

God remains with those families who have been forever wounded and altered. God stands in judgment of the gunman's soul. And God silently waits with us as we, as a nation, ask what can be done to prevent this from happening again.

God is always with us everywhere. That is what I believe as a Christian, and that is what I teach my children.

Evil does lay in wait; looking for the opportune moment to strike and cause us horrible pain; hoping we will say that God has forsaken us; plotting to turn us against one another; pointing out our differences and preying on our weaknesses.

I refuse to give Satan that satisfaction. For Jesus tells us in John 16:33, "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

God is with us...always and everywhere!

Anna

Inked: Minor Obstacles

Tattoo Collection

I have a small junk drawer in my kitchen. In it you will find a few markers, some twist ties, a variety of small notepads, a few old corks, some outlet covers left over from when there were toddlers in the house, a battery or two, a small screwdriver, myriad other odds and ins and a number of temporary tattoos. This collection of tattoos includes butterflies, animals, Pixar character, pizza joint logos and more.

We've been accumulating this collection for the last 5 years. They've come from Valentine's cards, birthday parties, restaurants, nannies, trick-or-treating, various community events, etc.

My kids love tattoos. I can't remember when it started or where the first tattoo came from, but what I do know is that they quickly figured out how to apply them by themselves & they wear them with great pride; the bigger and more colorful the better.

Allure of Ink

I have never understood the allure of tattoos; whether temporary or permanent. This is certainly something I will never do. The pain alone is enough to stop me. I almost didn't have children solely based on the pain of childbirth. And yet, I find other's tattoos very interesting; the colors, the design, the statements being made. They are pieces of art on living canvasses.

Lately, I've been seeing more and more people with tattoos; many with several tattoos, bright and big and covering large parts of their bodies; people shopping at Target; the baristas at my favorite coffee shop; parents at t-ball games; at the pool. In fact, as I write this, while seated at a coffee shop, a man with tattoos reaching out from his short sleeves, peeking out from his collar and dotting his forearms came in and sat at the table next to mine. I don't know what's responsible for this societal shift, but there appears to have been one.

Protection for Government Interference?

It's fine for an adult who understands and accepts that permanent ink displayed on body parts that may be visible even when dressed from head to toe may not be looked upon favorably in certain professionals, may not always be in vogue and most certainly may not always fit one's personal style and preferences to make that decision to get a permanent tattoo, but how much liberty should a minor have in making this decision?

According to National Conference of State Legislatures, as of December 2011, there were 39 states with laws restricting tattooing minors. Many of these laws include body piercing, as well. Note that I used the word "restricting" not "prohibiting." Many of these laws provide that a minor under 18 is prohibited from getting a tattoo or body piercing unless there is parental consent.

Should it be in the parent's control? Is this an issue of cultural, societal and personal preferences?

Most parents aren't suggesting that their children get inked or pierced or giving in to such requests from their tweens or teens. And yet, if mom and/or dad are covered in tatts or cultural and societal norms aren't mainstream and the parents and/or guardians think it's fine for junior to get a tattoo at age 5 or pierced bellybutton at 15, is that OK?

Or would that be abuse to be reported to child protective services?

Well, in Florida, whose law changed in January 2012, a grandfather with custody of his grandson found himself in hot water when he allowed the 10 year-old to get a tattoo of his initials on his leg; a family tradition.

The FL law had previously allowed minors under 16 to get a tattoo with parental consent. It now restricts minors under 16 from getting tattoos except for medical or dental reasons and minors 16 to 18 are permitted to go forward with the inking with the consent of a parent.

The grandfather lost custody of his grandson based on his decision to allow the tattoo, regardless of the law restricting this action.

Often it's the tattoo artist who gets in gets in trouble with the law, as well as the parent.

The Scoop

I'm not a fan of tattoos; permanent or temporary. And I hope my boys never decide they should mark their skin with ink of the permanent kind, at least. But if they do want to get a tattoo or pierce through their skin and add ornamentation of some sort, I can guarantee you it will not be while they are minors and are required to seek parental consent.

As for the law, there may be those who see this as government interference into the rights of parents to make decisions for their kids, but I see it as protection from parents who may not quite appreciate the full repercussions of allowing minors to make body modifications at such a young age. Over and out...

Anna

Why I {Hate} the Ice Cream Truck

That Old Familiar Tune

At first the sound blends into the other sounds in the neighborhood; car engines, kids playing in yards, a mower; birds singing. But the closer it gets, the sound is undeniable; completely recognizable to anyone over 12 months old; the soft, persistent tinkling of a tune.

It brings back childhood memories for most adults; it's synonymous with hot days, sprinklers and summer vacation; it's the ice cream truck.

And I've grown to hate that strained, relentless music; that herald calling all children, everything within earshot to come running with little fistfuls of money; running without care; running for that chance to buy a cold, sweet treat from some stranger slowly, methodically driving up and down the neighborhood streets.

So, call me a wet blanket, a downer, a killjoy or any other name, but ice cream trucks have long left a bad taste in my mouth.

Even as a young child, I can recall hearing the little tune playing, running to get my money, running outside to the street, buying my sweet confection, realizing my brother didn't have enough for his bomb pop, running back to the house, getting more money from my stash, running back out to the ice cream truck and skinning my finger in my haste to get him the money before the truck pulled away from the curb.

Ever since that incident when I was 10.5 years old, I have wondered about the whole concept of ice cream trucks. OK, so I've always been keen on safety issues, but often for good reason. You may recall my article from last October, posted on my birthday, about the day I hit a kid with my car, all because of an ice cream truck. No? Well, then you should definitely read it right after you read this one.

Regulation of the Ice Cream Truck

With my kids now at the age that their first reactions to the strained music teasingly, tantalizingly weaving in and out of proximity is to grab a fist of money and run towards the street I started thinking about the whole Idea of ice cream trucks and the regulations holding them in check.

Here's what I found. Most ice cream trucks are regulated at the local level of government whether by city by their particular ordinances or by the county. Many of the cities and counties have a licensing fee and inspection process. But what surprised me most was that most of the inspection/licensing processes had nothing to do with driving records, criminal records or safety training.

In fact, I found no regulations providing restrictions or guidance on when and where to stop, vehicle speeds or any safety measures for that matter.

Tucson, AZ, requires the drivers to be fingerprinted and Massachusetts requires both a state and local license with a number of restrictions in place. Parts of OH have tightened restrictions and requirements amid concerns of drug dealing along with peddling ice cream treats and ensure the drivers are not sexual predators with past convictions, etc.

I did find a local regulation for Arlington, TX, that gave suggestions for taking care that children didn't walk out into oncoming traffic and requirements that signs warning drivers to watch for children be placed on the front and rear of the vehicle in addition to flashing caution lights, etc. These are standard requirements and warnings, but it's more than some regulations require.

The Scoop

So, what's a parent to do? Be careful and take precautions. Be sure your kids know to NEVER run out into the street, not even when there is ice cream to be had. Be sure your kids understand the dangers, and that kids do get hit and can get killed. I know. I hit a child with my car after the child dashed out from around the ice cream truck without ever looking; without ever stopping.

On a recent late afternoon when all four of us happened to be out in our front yard working on some project, I looked up and saw the ice cream van – as many of them actually are in our neighborhood – slowly driving up our street, miraculously without music playing. But then, he spied our kids in the yard and flipped the switch on. The kids, upon hearing that old, familiar tune, immediately looked up with a grin, began running toward the street. Now, mind you, my kids have never had ice cream bought from a street prowling vendor, and yet this is still their reaction.

I caught the driver's eye and waved him on. He flipped the switch back off and continued trolling the streets for eager kids with money. Over and out...

*Don't worry no ice cream was withheld from the children of the perhaps {overly} cautious parent. We just prefer to get our frozen confections from the nearby Mexican market or the local DQ.

Anna

Baby, You’re a Firework {Figuratively, that is}

I read an article that said more Americans will spend the 4^th of July at home with friends and family than in years past. According to this report, we, Americans, plan to have casual BBQs in small groups in backyards, rather than head out of town, go out to dinner or attend an event. That sounds about like our plans this year since the Darling Boys and I will spend the holiday with family in Texas.

Of course, this means that if people aren't attending fireworks shows, they are probably buying fireworks from a stand, or any number of stores {at least in MN} to put on their own little fireworks shows. No doubt, most of these do-it-yourself celebrations will include sparklers.

As a kid, sparklers were the only fireworks my brother and I were ever permitted to have, but only after extreme warnings and shockingly terrifying stories of kids who had been horribly burned, blinded and maimed. Although I looked forward to it with great excitement, I was so concerned about getting injured from that burning, sparking stick held at arm's length that it was a relief when the little red, white and blue box was empty and the sparklers were all spent and this annual tradition was over.

For some reason, sparklers have a safe connotation, but the truth is sparklers are very dangerous. Would you give your child a blow torch to play with to celebrate our country's patriotic holiday? I imagine you wouldn't, but sparklers can burn at 2000 degrees....yes, that's TWO THOUSAND Degrees Fahrenheit; as hot as a blow torch!

That certainly gives me pause as I imagine my boys...my rambunctious, karate kicking, constantly moving, dancing, not-always-focused boys with wands of very hot fire. Hmmmmm..... that just doesn't sound like a good combination to me.

This week I heard a radio DJ say, "Here's what you need to know to stay safe over the 4^th of July: Don't do anything and don't go anywhere; just stay home and do nothing." While this was tongue in cheek, he's pretty much right. However, that's not much fun. So, here are strict, but still festive, safety guidelines for July 4^th from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC):

• Never allow young children to play with or ignite fireworks.
• Avoid buying fireworks that are packaged in brown paper because this is often a sign that the fireworks were made for professional displays and that they could pose a danger to consumers.
• Always have an adult supervise fireworks activities. Parents don't realize that young children suffer injuries from sparklers. Sparklers burn at temperatures of about 2,000 degrees - hot enough to melt some metals.
• Never place any part of your body directly over a fireworks device when lighting the fuse. Back up to a safe distance immediately after lighting fireworks.
• Never try to re-light or pick up fireworks that have not ignited fully.
• Never point or throw fireworks at another person.
• Keep a bucket of water or a garden hose handy in case of fire or other mishap.
• Light fireworks one at a time, then move back quickly.
• Never carry fireworks in a pocket or shoot them off in metal or glass containers.
• After fireworks complete their burning, douse the spent device with plenty of water from a bucket or hose before discarding it to prevent a trash fire.
• Make sure fireworks are legal in your area before buying or using them.

Here's to a safe and fun 4^th of July! Over and out...

Anna

 

5 Things You Should Know {Heatwave}

It's hot out there. I mean really H-O-T. While a heat wave is sweeping the country, it's a bit cooler at my home {just a tiny bit}, but I'm not home right now. I'm in Texas, and it is HOT.

I must have been able to handle this heat years ago. After all, I spent 22 years in TX. But I'm telling you, I cannot handle it now. It is like an oven out there.

Simply walking outside gives me the sensation of getting too close to a flame. My lips burn, my eyes feel scorched and dry, sweat trickles down the small my back and the heat seems to dance across my face and arms like fire.

This extreme heat brought several of my posts to mind; posts concerning kids and cars, sunburns and pools. So, here are 5 Things You Know about Heat:

1. NEVER leave your kids in the car alone. It doesn't have to a hot day for a child to die very quickly when left in a car; so, think about what can happen in these high temps ;
2. NEVER leave your child unattended in a pool; accidents can happen quickly and quietly;
3. Be clear about what SPF means and what's in your sunscreen you are applying to you and your children;
4. The water spray bottle/fan combination work very well in very HOT situations; and
5. It really can be hot enough to fry an egg on the street...at least I think so, and I'm going to try it.

Enjoy the sunny days and don't get burned. Over and out...

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {Kids & Child-Proofing}

1. Kids will lick, touch and taste just about ANYTHING given the chance;
2. If you cover every outlet in your home but 1, your child will gravitate to that outlet like a moth to a flame, and you know how that ends;
3. There are some kids who will be unsupervised and completely on their own but somehow survive every danger and hazard in the book, and sadly there will be other kids whose parents are alert and cautious and mindful, but who will not survive childhood due to some unforeseen accident;
4. Why #3 is the case is something I will always be trying to figure out ; and yet
5. Miraculously, most kids will survive without even becoming seriously injured or ill and grow into careful, child-proofing, more-informed-than-their-parents adults who are disgusted and amazed at the things their own kids put into their mouths.

With this said, child-proofing is still a very good idea! Do your best to think about how your toddler sees the world; {physically} get down on his or her level; be sure televisions, shelves, chests of drawers, etc .are bolted to the wall; store all chemicals completely out of reach and/or locked up {or contact me about switching to Norwex and clean with cloths and water!}; put gates up in front of staircases; lock windows {especially 2^nd floor and higher}; install smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors; cover outlets; store electrical cords and extension cords attached to laptops, phones, lamps, etc. out of sight and away from small, inquisitive fingers and mouths; never leave your little tots alone while bathing; check water temperatures; keep pot handles turned in and not sticking out; never allow your children to site on drains in pools or hot tubs; and on and on. I could keep going for ages, but instead you could just read Motherly Law.

Have a happy and safe rest of the week! Over and out...

Anna

 

Unexpected Dangers in the Laundry Room; Because Consumer Safety Issues ARE Important

The Value of My Words

Someone recently told me that parents don't care about laws and consumer safety issues. It may have been well-meaning, but the words stung like poison darts. I didn't let on that my skin had been pricked as I let those words settle in the wound.

I stewed about it for a short while; felt a little silly for ever thinking people would or did care about these important {at least to me} issues and had hurt feelings.

And then, I realized this person is just plain wrong. You do care what I have to say about legal issues that affect families; and you do most certainly care about consumer safety issues and societal issues.

I know this is true because you read my words when I write about these important issues. I know this is true because I get hundreds of hits from search engines from people across the country looking for information about the issues I write about. I know.

Learning a Lesson from YouTube

And this is why when I see a headline about a child who was trapped in a washing machine and came close to drowning because his parents, or perhaps a babysitter, placed him there as a joke, I seize the opportunity and write about it, expound upon it and alert parents to potential dangers.

Here's what happened: A surveillance camera in a Laundromat caught a man putting a toddler inside a front loading washer. He closed the door and stood back laughing. But to his surprise the machine turned on and began to fill with water.

The video shows the man frantically trying to open the locked washer door. A woman, apparently a babysitter, rushes over to help. Finally, an attendant pulls the plug behind the machine, turning the machine off. Thankfully, the toddler sustained only minor injuries in this terribly unfunny incident that rapidly spread through online media once it was uploaded to YouTube.

The county prosecutor was investigating this situation to ensure that the child was safe and to decide whether criminal charges should be filed in this case.

So, you're saying to yourself that you'd never put your child in a washing machine because it certainly isn't funny or safe. Case closed, right?

Not so fast. What about this scenario. Could this ever happen in your house?

An Inquisitive Toddler

We know how inquisitive our children can be. They love to learn by watching and doing just like mom or dad, a big brother or sister or a baby sitter or grandma. Toddlers are big enough to follow along behind us, testing boundaries and trying new things. Well, this is exactly what happened when 21 month old Ollie was trying to help his mom with the laundry. After his mom had left the room for a moment, Ollie climbed into the washing machine and drowned.

The family was devastated, as one can imagine. Ollie's mom said of all the hazards she had carefully guarded against, drowning in the washing machine had never crossed her mind.

I think this is probably true for most of us, until we read of such a tragic incident, such as this. The thing about a toddler is that they're heads are heavy, but they don't have the upper body strength to hoist themselves out of something like a washing machine. And it's important to remember that it takes only a couple of inches of water for someone to drown.

While there are very few actual deaths related to washing machines, there are a number of injuries reported each year. Most of the injuries involve 1 to 2 year olds and include fractures, amputations and other injuries from playing in, on and around washers and dryers.

The Scoop

So, when you are child-proofing your home, remember to include the laundry room and more specifically, the washer in your plan. It only takes a second of turning your back, walking away for a few minutes or putting something up for a child to get in trouble.

In fact, after I had started writing this article, I was in my basement doing some tasks. I didn't even know my 3 year-old had followed me downstairs. Lo and behold, where did I find him? Sitting on the washing machine as it was running.

I sat him down and told him the story of poor Ollie. He immediately went upstairs and told his 5 year-old brother about the boy who got trapped in the washer. I hope they think of this story and this boy every time they go into the laundry room. Over and out...

Anna