Hanging By a Thread

My Life {in a Bag}

As I was stuffing my laptop into my old leather bag, the one I've carried since law school, I realized that the contents are a pretty good representative of who I am. Now, whether this a positive or negative, I'm not so sure.

I like to be prepared for what life throws at me. So, I'm always the one with an overstuffed carry-ons and large suitcase at the airport. I was the one who carried the giant diaper bag and was never out of snacks or diapers or wipes, etc. I pack heavy.

I've been carrying my big, old, Eddie Bauer Leather bag a lot lately because it's my busy season when it comes to my legal editing work. So, it goes with me to tae kwon do classes and to the coffee shops and anywhere else that I might have a few minutes of sitting and waiting; time I could be reading or working on my computer.

What could I possibly need, you ask? Well, of course, there's the obvious, my laptop and cord. Then, there's the little zipper bag with my hot spot device (a necessity for me), ear buds, an external hard drive (I want to always have access to my photos – you never know what I might need for a post), and USB charging cord and plug.

There are two volumes of National Geographic, The Week, Gluten Free Living and a Minnesota Monthly stuffed in too…just in case I have a minute to read. There are two notepads and a variety of pens tucked in; a pack of gum, left from the last flight I took – to Chicago in December. Some used tissues are stuffed in a pocket – must not have had a trash handy - and the small package with remaining unused Kleenex are in another pocket – I'm never without Kleenex. I'm an allergy sufferer.

Two travel size Norwex enviro cloths made it in. You never know when you might need to wipe something off someone's hands, face, computer or tablet or phone screen, clothing, etc. They get a lot of use. I also found a small Pokémon toy from a McDonald's Happy Meal pushed down in an inside pocket, along with 2 applesauce pouches and a granola bar. A mom always has a few snacks stashed away for emergencies.

There's a small Gussy Sews pouch with business cards and my ever-present big, paper calendar. I NEED to write things down on a real calendar. No virtual calendar for me. Nope, I like my 8.5 x 11 notebook style calendar with chicken scratch and marked out items and red and blue and black ink and coffee stains and all.

And last, but not least my phone, keys, my big, overstuffed wallet, a couple of tubes of lipstick (I almost always blend colors and really hate to go without lipstick) and my powder compact.

Is it heavy? Yes. Is it all necessary? Yes.

Well, I did throw out the brochure for a tae kwon do tournament from March, the used Kleenex and the index card with travel info from our trip to Chicago in December. What's in your bag? Over and out…

Anna

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Be Kind and Do the Right Thing {It’s Really That Simple, Isn’t it?}

What if we made decisions based on reason and good sense and because it was in the best interest for all or at least most? What then?

What would our world look like? What would we think of our leaders then? How would we feel about mankind? How would we feel about ourselves?

There are a few things that have really bothered me over the last few weeks; items from news headlines and articles. Here they are {in brief} and my thoughts on them {in brief…as brief as I can be}:

All Parents have Challenges

Gwyneth says moms with "regular" jobs working 9 to 5 have it easier than "movie stars" working 14 hours on location.

My Take: Don't compare yourself to others and their situations. You have no idea the challenges, burdens and sacrifices that another has faced or is facing. Simply be kind to others and live your own life. And if you don't like your life, take steps to change that – this goes for "movie stars" too.

I have no doubt it is challenging to be a celebrity and a mom, but it is also challenging to be "regular" mom working 9 to 5 in an office or working from home or working shifts or whatever a mom's situation is. Can we just agree it's challenging to be a mom?

Government could Save $400 Million with One Simple Change

Fourteen year-old boy comes up with a simple (& proven) way to save the federal and state governments $400 million dollars each year by changing the font in which they use for printing purposes; Times New Roman uses more ink than Garamond. By printing in Garamond, the governments would save this astronomical (to me) amount in ink costs.

My Take: This is remarkable. And yet, will the branches of government even consider such a change; a change that could mean closing the gap in other areas of their budgets or that this money could go towards more important things than ink? I doubt it. It seems that the government (federal and state) and the politicians running them are rarely interested in ways to truly be economical or do what is safer, healthier or smarter with our money. It is almost always about spending money in their districts or with their constituents or something that will benefit them personally, I am sorry to say.

But wouldn't it be great to see the government truly working with this 14 year-old and implementing this simple change?

If the government was run like a household budget, the government would most certainly try this money-saving plan.

Watch YourSELF! Don't be a Bully!

Self Magazine published a photo of two women running in a marathon wearing superhero-inspired tutus…and featured it in their BS Meter, Legit or Lame segment, calling it lame and making fun of them for wearing the tutus…one of the runners in the photo has cancer, ran while doing chemo and makes and sells the tutus to help fund a youth development program for girls…

My Take: This whole thing really smells to high heaven. They asked permission to use this photo and then proceeded to make fun of her and her friend… that's bad enough. But then, they find out she has cancer and was going through chemotherapy during the time she ran and she does good with the money she makes in selling these tutus….wow!

So, editors at Self, clearly you failed miserably on this photo, but I think you have failed overall with this whole segment. Who are you to poke fun at anyone? Even if she and her friend were simply runners, no cancer or nonprofits involved, it's not OK to make rude comments about someone. That is bullying behavior. I say ditch your BS Meter altogether.

I applaud the self-expression, and you can call me lame if you like, but anything superhero-inspired is cool in our household. And seriously, these two women were RUNNING A MARATHON! They ROCK…period!

Privacy Issues in School Bathrooms

There was a recent incident in a St. Paul school when a janitor was inappropriate in a boys bathroom.

My Take: As a mom to boys, I have often thought this is a bad idea for the men on staff to share a bathroom with the boys in the school, considering there are urinals and not just stalls. I think both boys and the male teachers/staff should have privacy in a bathroom at school. And having separate bathrooms for students and personnel affords protection from such instances, for both the adults and students. Of course, the same can be said for the girls bathrooms too, but there are at least stalls and doors, giving more privacy. And really, I'm not sure urinals without enclosures have a place in schools.

Suing Your Parents is NOT a Good Idea…EVER

A high school student sued her parents, trying to force them to pay for her college expenses. The suit was dropped and the girl moved home, fortunately.

My Take: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Clearly, this girl had lost her way somewhere and has hopefully found her path again now. There was little basis to her lawsuit. There was no evidence of abuse or neglect. Instead, it appeared to be a case of a girl not wanting to follow her parents' rules (which by reports from her parents were not terribly restricting) and leaving home on her own accord to live with a friend's family once she turned 18, but wanting her parents to continue to fund her life.

This friend's father was an attorney. It sounds like he talked her into suing her parents for her Catholic high school tuition payment and college living expenses for the next year. This is very unfortunate, it not only put attorneys in a bad light yet again, it also makes the girl look like a spoiled rotten, greedy brat (which may not have been the case at all) and these shenanigans cost all involved a great deal of expense and energy and heartache….all for nothing.

Usually simply talking out a problem is a good and cheap solution to most familial issues.

These are the headlines that have been knocking around in my head lately. And now you know my take on them. Over and out…

Anna

 

 

 

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Making Ends Meet; Moms Turning to Phone Sex Industry {On a Soapbox}

Have you ever had to choose between paying the mortgage and buying groceries? Have you ever had to swallow your pride whole and ask family for financial help? Have you ever looked at the amount in your bank account and prayed that nothing went through until you had a check or known that you were at the bottom of the barrel and if even one unplanned and unforeseen expense came up, you were done for? Have you ever tasted the bitterness of desperation?

If you have, then you know what this dark, swirling vortex feels like when it begins to pull you under? If you haven't, then say a prayer of thankfulness.

In this economy, there is a lot of need; a number of people without jobs or in a low paying job; without resources; losing ground every day. These are people like you and me; they are not lazy, good-for-nothing bums looking for a handout. I'm talking about hard working, educated people; young graduates, parents of young kids, those nearing the years that were supposed to be golden; all ages; all demographics.

I recently came across an astounding statistic that I think is quite telling of the economic state of our country. Good Morning America reported in December 2011, "The number of mothers pursuing sex work has increased by 400 percent over the past 18 months alone, according to Rat Race Rebellion, an organization that specializes in finding jobs for mothers who need to work from home."

A surge of 400 percent is a big deal. Thousands of moms are now working as phone sex operators because the pay is good, ranging between $10 to $50 per hour or much more, the hours are flexible, they can work from home and it's legal. While the phone sex industry has benefitted the most from this demographic, strip clubs and other adult entertainment industries have reported a surge in the number of applications received from women.

Place judgment and blame where you will, but unless you've experienced absolute desperation, not knowing how you're going to support your family, pay bills and keep a roof over your head, don't judge these women. A mom's primary goal is to survive in order take care of her family; this is a survival mechanism. This work, just like any other job, ensures that there are meals on the table, beds to sleep in and clothes on their backs.

Many say that if they could afford to walk away from this work they would, but they simply cannot. When politicians and religious leaders speak of family values, I doubt this is what they have in mind, but these are parents who are doing whatever it takes to keep their family together. To me, that's what family values are about; loving each other and working to make it work; beating the odds; making it to the other side without drowning. Over and out...

Anna

Focus, Focus: A Head Full of Words and Ideas

Thoughts Tumbling Out

Sometimes my 3 year-old has trouble getting his words out. It's not that he doesn't know what he wants to say; he does. It's that he has so much to say that the words all tumble together and get stuck trying to get out. It's frustrating to him, but with patience {on our part} and focus {on his part} he can communicate his usually complex, thoughtful, interesting words. My 5 year-old went through this same thing.

When you have a lot of observations, creative ideas and long-pondered questions about the world running around in your head it's hard not to lose focus and stumble and wobble a bit. I understand this. I'm feeling like this right now.

Irons in the Fire

I have a number of irons in the fire, so to speak. I tend to do this. I always have. But I thrive on new, fresh activity. I find inspiration in a crammed calendar, back-to-back coffee dates and the need to be resourceful all the while working on about 6 new ideas.

The trouble comes when I try to make all fronts productive simultaneously. It's hard to keep a clear focus on all projects at one time. When I'm going 8 directions something is going to suffer. Right now, it seems it's my baby, Motherly Law.

No worries though. I still have many ideas for this almost 2 year-old venture, but it has been taking a backseat to my brand new baby, Norwex and the blog that goes along with that, State of Clean. I'm really proud of that venture too. {Unabashed Self-Promotion: Same great writing at State of Clean; if I do say so, myself. So, please check that site out too.}

The Scoop

As you know with a new baby, attention must be focused on the baby's schedule and core development. So, Motherly Law has been left to its own devices a bit. I still posting, just not as often as I'd like. However, in just over a month, it'll be time to celebrate Motherly Law's birthday and the focus will be back here.

And the other irons in the fire? Well, you'll have to stay tuned, but I will tell you there are a couple of other blogs I would really like to create and I'm working on 2 books. So, you can see how the words and ideas sometimes get clogged together and make me lose focus on certain projects, but I'm still here; and I still love Motherly Law; it's where I share my heart and soul. I hope you'll have patience with me and that you still love Motherly Law too.

What inspiring activities/ventures are you up to in 2012? Have you got a bunch of irons in the fire too? Over and out...

Anna

The Land of Opportunity No More {On a Soapbox}

That Which is Lost

Where is this land of opportunity our forefathers have written about? Where is this land of plenty where ingenuity and hard work are rewarded? Where is this land of promise where those who want to work and strive to grow and create and help are given the chance? Once, this place was the United States of America, but I would argue those days are gone.

Gone are the days that bright, young professionals full of dreams and ideas could by chance meet a big wig executive in an elevator on the 1^st floor and have a job working under this exec by the 21^st floor. Gone are the days that a person without exactly the right qualifications, but with the drive and smarts to excel in a particular job applied for and got an {in-person} interview and was hired. Gone are days that people could do something simply because it was the right thing to do and not worry that some red tape somewhere down the road would cause a conflict.

A rather dreary outlook, you say? Perhaps, but would you argue with these statements? I am certainly not saying that these things never happen, but in today's world luck, connections and wealth are the most important components to succeeding in life.

What Has Happened?

I realize that everyone has a different idea of how to define the word "success", but even still stop and think about the most powerful people in our country {and by power I mean influence, dollars paid and amount of control} and you will see what I mean. Ultimately, it comes down to luck, connections and wealth.

The legislators, the courts, corporate America and human resources departments have placed so many limits and restrictions and have driven up costs and requirements and forms to be submitted that we have lost much of our willingness to give people a chance and our spirit of enterprise.

It's unheard of to actually go to an office and drop off a resume in hopes of catching the boss in and having an interview right at that moment or scoring some points based on your appearance or just happening to walk in the right place at the right time. And chances are if you did drop off your resume in person, the receptionist at the front desk sitting in front of the big doors that lead to all the other employees would politely tell you to please fill out the e-application on their website.

Even if you are given a chance at an interview, chances are, you'll first fill out an online "survey", move on to a boiler plate Q &A with the HR rep over the phone and then just maybe score an in-person interview with the most junior person on the team. And if you don't match every single qualification listed; you will never be contacted in any form.

Those Without a Job Need Not Apply

One of the most discouraging, completely lunatic policies recently emerging from the corporate back rooms is that they will not hire someone who doesn't have a job at the time of the interview or have for a very short time been without a job. The argument is that people who have been laid off, fired or have taken some time off for any reason are lazy, dull-headed and overall poor employees, having been out of the work force.

This is utterly ridiculous considering the economy we are living in. I recently read an article that contradicted that assumption. A study had been done that showed that in the first two weeks or so of losing a job for any reason, the person floundered a bit, watched more TV, read books and was basically inactive. After those two weeks, the vast majority of those people began looking for work and/or taking on more house duties, such as cleaning, taking care of kids and elderly family members, doing the laundry and cooking and running errands. Others began volunteering or helping neighbors, working on projects that had been put off due to work schedules, etc. Very few of those without jobs continued to pursue a lazy lifestyle.

It is shocking to me that those who could very well be in that same position the following day, week or year, would introduce such a policy. What kind of message does this send to college students or recent grads; what kind of future are we offering our children if the parents can't get jobs because they are out of a job through no fault of their own or even because of a fault of their own, but are looking for work?

All Hail the Almighty Dollar

To me, this screams of elitism, fascism and narrow-mindedness. For today, our country is still a democracy, at least in name, which means we are still free to think and dream and create our own opportunities.

These entrepreneurs who create their own opportunities are bright, feisty, fresh and diligent, but that's often not enough today. Regardless of how brilliant an idea or how perfect a plan or how amazing a dream NOTHING speaks louder than the Almighty Dollar. And cold, hard cash is something most unemployed, under-employed and freshly graduated would-be leaders of industry do not have enough of.

The Scoop

Which brings me to this question; is the poem inscribed at the base of our Lady Liberty still relevant?

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of you teamming shore. Send these, homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

 

From New Colossus by Emma Lazarus

I would argue no. Those who are in control of our country do not want to deal with those who are wanting of anything, especially those who come from outside our shores. Even those who want to work in order to not be tired, poor and homeless {or those who are nearly homeless, as in the case of foreclosure} will find that they are cast aside by the captains of industry and the "pawns" in the capitols of our country. Over and out...

Anna

The Sign Said to Take a Chance: Well, Here Goes.... {A New Business}

A Chance

The sign said, "Take at Least One." At the bottom of the piece of paper were little tabs to rip off that usually have contact information listed. This one had little tabs with just two words... "A Chance." I don't know who pinned this sign up on the Caribou Coffee bulletin board, but I thought it was clever and it got me to thinking.

Was this a sign I should be paying attention to? Have I taken many risks lately? Am I putting myself out there enough? What's too risky? What's not risky enough? Does it mean I'm not taking risks if I have to ask these questions?

Risky Business    

Honestly, I feel like that the last two years have been one risk after another with the start of launching Motherly Law in March of 2010. I have put myself out there, utterly exposed and vulnerable, in cyberspace and in the tangible space too. I have tried this and that. I have strived to grow as a writer and thinker and doer.

Then, after Will found himself in search of a job, under circumstances not of our choosing, we decided to pursue entrepreneurship and grow a business in social media consulting. Now, recall that I'm an independent contractor for a legal publisher and a freelance writer.

This is no life for the weak. This is a life of no regular paychecks; no benefits of any kind. There is little assurance of anything.

Well, I have decided to take another "chance." I am launching a new business today {in addition to everything we are doing}. I am now......hold onto your hats....this is going to surprise you....a Norwex Independent Sales Consultant. I know, I know; I, myself, am still shocked when I step back and think about this statement. Now, wait, bear with me. I'm going to answer your questions: 1) What the Heck is Norwex? 2) Why this Product? and 3) Why Now?

What the Heck is Norwex?

Norwex's mission statement is this: To improve the quality of life by radically reducing the use of chemicals in personal care and cleaning.

Norwex cloths are an antibacterial microfiber. To use the cloths for cleaning all kinds of surfaces and spots and stains, simply add water. Nothing more is needed. How is this possible, you ask? Well, the microfiber cloth goes beyond surface clean because there is a silver-based inorganic antimicrobial agent physically and chemically bonded to the fiber of the cloth. The microfiber picks up and locks in the odor-causing/illness-causing bacteria into the fibers and the silver agent destroys the bacteria.

These cloths eliminate cross-contamination on surfaces or hands; are easy to use, launder when needed and use again; will reduce the amount of chemicals your family uses and absorbs; and cleans really well.

The cleaning products are enzyme-based and continue to work on a surface until all material to be cleaned away is gone and then the cleaner itself breaks down to Carbon Dioxide and Oxygen. These enzymes are naturally occurring and are not at all harmful to humans, pets or plants.

Additionally, there are personal care cloths for the bathroom that gently exfoliate your skin and clean makeup {including mascara} from your face without the use of soap and softer, gentler cloths for kids and babies. There are even cloths for your pets and much, much more. For additional information {and believe me there is additional information} go to the FAQ page on my website.

Why This Product?

I am passionate about these products. Norwex has already changed the way I clean; and more importantly it has changed the way I think about cleaning solutions filled with chemicals.

This sounds trite and canned, but it's the absolute truth. Since getting our Norwex products, Will and I have not wanted to stop cleaning and trying Norwex products out on various stains, spots and hard to reach grime; cleaning counters, floors, toilets, appliances and skin {there are bath towels too}; you name it. Our Norwex products have stood up to each task presented and have not let us down.

The first thing I cleaned with my Norwex Envirocloth was the dining room rug below Darling 1's chair. Bless his heart; he is the messiest eater no matter how hard he tries not to be. There are always spots and stains beneath his seating area. I have tried to get the spots up with various cleaners. I took the Envirocloth, got it wet, wrung it out and started scrubbing the spots on the rug. Every last one of them came up with ease. The rug looked brand new; and I was sold.

And that was just the start. I think it will revolutionize the way you view cleaning your home, your clothes and your body as it has done for us.

Why Now?

To be frank with you, and you know I always am, we need to increase our income so that we can focus on building Will's business and my writing portfolio; our passions. But I also look forward to the challenges of improving my communication skills and presentation style. I am excited about gaining business acumen. And I honestly believe these products will save time and money, promote health and better the environment.

The Scoop {This Part is Important}

So, here I go, starting the New Year with a Clean slate, so to speak, and taking "A Chance." If you love me or even if you just slightly tolerate me any and all support and encouragement is much appreciated. One way to support me is to Like my Anna Berend – Norwex Independent Sales Consultant Facebook Fan Page and/or Follow me on Twitter @AnnaBerend. Another way to support this endeavor is to check out my Norwex website: annaberend.norwex.biz.

If you are interested in hosting a party {there are really great gifts involved, plus it's a fun gathering of your friends} or you just want to learn more about these products and why I love them so much, please email me at [email protected] or leave a comment below. I would love to talk to you. I am hosting a launch party on Sunday, January 15^th. If you would like to attend let me know {evites will be going out soon to those whose addresses I have}.

As soon as I get my URL approved, I will launch my accompanying blog that will regale you on achieving a new State of Clean with Norwex product reviews and the philosophy and science behind these products, etc. So, stay tuned for that information in the near future.

Ready or not, here I come 2012. Oh, and Katy, stop laughing. I know; I'm eating my words. Over and out....

Anna

Motherly Advice {My New Year’s Resolutions for 2012}

I can do all things through  Christ who strengthens me.

~Philippians 4:13

This shall be my mantra for 2012.

Often this, the last day of the year, is one for reflecting on the past year. I'm not doing that this year. I can no longer dwell on the sadness, the stress and the uncertainty of 2011. I'm finished with this year.

I am moving on. In 2012, I believe in me. I have infinite faith. I am stronger. I am wiser. I am full of hope. I am resourceful. I will not take "No" for an answer. I am determined. I am who I am.

At the age 37, I believe that I have the perspective that my 20 something self did not have. I believe that each experience I have, good or bad, is a learning experience. I believe in signs. I believe we should follow the leads that present themselves and seem to be the inherent answers to the questions of our souls.

I believe all I have to do is keep going; keep showing up each day. I believe I don't have to have all the answers today.

I believe that life isn't worth living if we don't follow our dreams. I believe that our dreams can change. I believe that deep down inside each of us we have everything we need to succeed, whatever that term means to you.

In 2012, I resolve:

1. to succeed on my terms;
2. to follow through;
3. to keep moving;
4. to be patient;
5. to be persistent;
6. to love without ceasing;
7. to laugh often;
8. to feel deeply;
9. to think freely; and
10. to continue following my dreams.

Who knows where those dreams will lead me. It is with excitement that I face this New Year. BRING IT ON because.... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

How do you feel about the New Year? Do you have any new year's resolutions? Over and out...

Anna

Raw Emotion Sells Like Hot Cakes; Law Simmers Like a Pot of Stew

Some of my more important, more informative, more potentially useful posts are not my highest read posts. Nope. It's my more sensational, more emotional, more totally raw, open hearted posts that break the bar, smash the records and hit the mark.

I'm struggling with this a bit. On the one hand, I'm always thrilled with astronomical pageviews. That means you like me, and more importantly, you like my writing. And hey, does it matter? I wrote it. It's from the heart. That's all that should matter.

On the other hand, I began writing Motherly Law in order to bring together legal information and resources about issues that do or could affect families; things that we, as parents, should know or teach to our kiddos or stick in our brains for some later date. I wanted to convey the law in a way that was less intimidating; more easily digestible; more appealing and interesting.

As I have written post after post, totaling almost 400 posts in 18 months, I've found my voice. I no longer tip-toe around potentially explosive topics {well, there are still a few I tactfully step around}. I express my opinions more freely. I write what I feel. I write what I think. I write what I love. I write what I loathe. I write what I fear. I write what I dream.

I think that's OK. After all, Motherly Law is all mine. It can be who I am as a whole. It's motherly, lawyerly and womanly all at the same time. And yet, when well-meaning and thoughtful people tell me that Motherly Advice is their favorite part of each week, I can't help but feel a little let down.

The Motherly Advice posts are full of heart and soul {my own}. I love them too. But, it's the law and resource related posts that take most of my time and draw on my legal expertise and research skills. It's what sets my site apart from others.

So, this is me, being honest and raw. And truthfully, I'm so very thankful for my very loyal readers and the huge number of people who stumble upon Motherly Law each day by way of search engine queries {and hopefully like what they find and come back again for more}. And I guess what that means is that as long as you know Motherly Law is here full of information, resources and reassurance, then you know you can find the information you need when you need it. And that's enough.

Sometimes I can gauge the response a post will have, but sometimes I'm thoroughly surprised by the attention or the lack thereof. There are some posts I know will be well liked the minute I post them; and others aren't loved to begin with, but will become search engine darlings in the long run. Some posts I love every word of from the first line; stories that come spilling out of my brain totally spun, no need for improvement. Some posts are fruits of great labor; the words don't come easily; my thoughts jumbled together mumbling and bumbling around in my head trying to blend and combine into a sweet melody.

And that, folks, is what this is writing thing is all about; trial and error. Very soon I'll be launching a new website, in addition to Motherly Law. This new endeavor will have nothing to do with the law, but it is something that's dear to my heart and a combination of passions. Stay tuned for that.

Oh, and don't forget to tune in tomorrow morning for my first "Coffee with Anna" Week in Review vlog. And one more thing, the photo is me, in the raw. {Just look at the gray hair! Oh well, it happens} Over and out...

Anna

A Matter of Policy: The Repeal of DADT

Bad Policies

In the wee hours of the morning the pitter patter of little feet can be heard making their way to our bed. This happens twice every night; Darling 2 and then Darling 1, until our bed is crowded and cramped. I don't know how or why it began, but more than likely we allowed it to preserve our sleep and theirs. Sleep is a much sought after, hot commodity in our household.

Plus it was sweet to cuddle up with my little, sleeping Darlings. Now, it's still sweet, but they have grown...a lot; and it's more irritating than anything else to have a knee sticking in my back and an elbow jabbed into my neck. It's a bad policy to have, and we should do something to put an end to it, but that would mean less sleep for me.

Much like our little morning bed crashers, the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT) military policy has gone on too long. DADT prohibits military personnel from discriminating against or harassing homosexual or bisexual service members or applicant and bars openly gay, lesbian or bisexual persons from military service.

Time for Change

It seems as though talk of repealing this policy has gone on forever. Finally, in Dec. 2010, this policy was repealed by Congress. Just last week, President Obama certified that the repeal would not harm the military's readiness, which means that after 17 years, it will be repealed on Sept. 20, 2011.

Months ago, after Congress passed the repeal of this policy the military branches began the process of preparing the soldiers for this change in policy by training staff and soldiers. The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Navy Adm. Mike Mullen, has assured Pres. Obama that the military is ready to implement this change in policy without missing a beat.

The Undersecretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness stated that this change "is all about leadership, professionalism, discipline and respect" for the military. Pres. Obama stated, "Our military will no longer be deprived of the talents and skills of patriotic Americans just because they happen to be gay or lesbian."

What Does It Mean?

So, what exactly does the repeal mean? It means that men and women will be able to serve our country and be true to who they are at the same time. Sexual orientation will no longer be an issue in regards to military service, and those who were discharged solely under DADT may reapply for re-entry into the military.

Pentagon staff will be taking a close look at sexual orientation neutral benefits. Service members can designate partners as beneficiaries on life insurance policies, thrift savings plans and survivor benefits. However, the Defense of Marriage Act does prohibit extending some military benefits to same-sex couples.

For gay and lesbian service members with partners and/or children from a same-sex relationship this means that they will be able to say goodbye to their loved ones before deployments; be greeted by family and loved ones upon arriving back home; freely talk about their families and friends with other service members; stop living in fear that their carefully maintained heterosexual façade might slip and expose who they truly are; and provide for their loved ones in the event of death. Essentially this repeal will afford gay or lesbian soldiers the same freedoms as heterosexual soldiers.

For future generations of service members this means that our children who feel the call to serve their country can do so without feeling shame, inadequacy or fear regarding his or her sexual orientation. The repeal of DADT means that children of gay and lesbian service members can feel pride and honor about their parents who serve and protect their country.

The Scoop

Why should people who want to serve their country and protect their fellow compatriots be limited, confined, punished, harassed, abused or shunned because of their sexual orientation? They shouldn't be. I'm glad there are citizens who feel the need to serve their country and join the military. I feel deep appreciation for all service members; and I thank them for their dedication. Over and out...

Anna

You might also like:

Definition of Family: Constitutionality of FL Adoption Law Banning Gays

There's a Storm a Brewin' in Minnesota: NOH8MN

Ode to a Soldier

Motherly Advice

All men dream; but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.

    ~T.E. Lawrence {best known as Lawrence of Arabia}

The other day, as Darling 1 sat strumming his little guitar, remembering a long ago lesson, he said to me, "I think I should be a musician." I agreed that he would be a good musician if he put his mind to it.

He and Darling 2 are currently wild about the band Vampire Weekend. They know the sound of the band and the voice of the lead singer, Ezra. They love to listen to all music, but at the present time they're infatuated with this particular band. In fact, they have formed their own small band, which they, all on their own, aptly named, Destructive Kids.

In this house, we are dreamers. It's what keeps us going day after day. At this very moment in our lives, if we didn't have dreams, we wouldn't have much. We never limit our Darling Boys' dreams, aspirations and plans, but instead we do our best to foster their passions, interests and talents.

During a recent discussion with friends about dreams while sleeping, I realized I couldn't remember the last time I had had a dream while I slept. One friend pointed out that I don't sleep long enough to get to the dream state. This is most likely true, but as long as I'm dreaming with my eyes open, I can keep going.

May we never cease to dream with our eyes open and to act on those dreams.

It's Friday…. Go eat some chocolate. It's good for you, and you deserve it!

Anna

Nota Bene: I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all parents and kids are not created equally, but are wholly individual in personality and style. Regardless of these differences, the basic needs of love, patience and support remain constant. Here are the weekly affirmations, tips and reminders. Unless otherwise noted, these are entirely my opinion. Take them with a grain of salt, or not!

The Measure of an Education: A Look at U.S. Education System Statistics

The Spelling Test

My first year in public school was 6^th grade. I have always excelled in spelling and prided myself on knowing my spelling words for each test in 6^th grade. One week, during our spelling test, my teacher gave this sample sentence to help us with the word from the week's list: "When my arm is hurt I put it in a slang." Yes, folks, a slang... for your broken arm.

I am from Texas, as was this grandmotherly, "experienced" teacher. However, the word on the list was slang; it wasn't sling said with a twang. She simply got it incorrect. This would not be the only time this teacher made this kind of mistake. I got the word right because I knew the spelling list, but I would have gotten it incorrect if I had followed her sentence prompt.

I immediately reported this error to my mother, and to this day we talk about putting our hurt arms in "slangs." It's funny now and has been for some time, but the truth of the matter is that it isn't funny. There are many tenured teachers who slip through the system, continuing to teach year after year, despite poor performances.

The Failings of the U.S. Education System

Much is discussed in the media, in the state and federal house and senate chambers and among parents about the state of the U.S. education system. In general, U.S. students rank poorly among other students in the world, teachers complain about low pay, the government is forever trying to find a good system for testing, awarding funds and raising student rankings and many parents feel their children are getting left behind, and they are correct.

I was able to navigate my way through the seemingly meaningless tests that were in place to ensure minimum skills were being learned; I excelled in all subjects, except math; I learned with ease, except math; took tests; applied to universities and went on. My school did not have many, if any, dropouts. My parents were college educated, and dropping out or barely making the grade was a nonissue in my home.

The Linger Effects of Dropping Out of School

It's surprising to me to see statistics that say 68% of 8^th graders can't read at grade level and most won't ever catch up. I am equally floored to know that 1.2 million students drop out of high school each year.

Source: http://broadeducation.org

Here are a few other sad and significant statistics from Broad Education:

• The poverty rate for families headed by dropouts is more than twice that of
  families headed by high school graduates;
• The health of an 18-year-old high school dropout is similar to that of a more educated person over two decades older;
• A dropout is more than eight times as likely to be in jail or prison as a high school graduate and nearly 20 times as likely as a college graduate; and
• Each year, the U.S. spends approximately $12, 018 per student compared to $22,600 per prison inmate.

The Question of Money

Not a year goes by that teachers' salaries are not discussed in great detail. Most of the discussion centers on how low teachers are paid and how teachers' salaries should be higher. I will make some people angry with this statement, but it's my opinion that teachers are not poorly paid for the most part. The average starting salary is not much less or equal to my starting salary as a state district court judicial law clerk. The average starting teacher's salary is approximately $32,000; the average experienced teacher's salary is approximately $55,000.

I have a higher degree; a costly degree; I spent 3 more grueling years in school, and yet the starting salary is not much different in the public sector. Yes, that was 11 years ago, but I did some research and the starting salaries for state judicial law clerks have not changed much in 11 years. Both law clerk positions and teacher positions are state employments. Most states have been suffering from tight, over-stuffed, under-funded budgets for years now. Both kinds of jobs have not seen a great increase in salary over the last decade.

The average teacher's salary after a few years experience or with a higher degree are pretty decent, in my opinion, especially considering that most teachers do get summer break, winter break and spring break too. The stakes are high, the responsibilities higher, and the pitfalls are many, but there are a number of careers that don't pay high salaries, but still require dedication, intelligence and fortitude, just as teaching does. And in all fairness, no one is forced to choose to be a teacher when entering college. University students are choosing to go into these careers in the education field.

I recently read an article that suggested that if the U.S. truly wants to raise the country's student rankings our schools needed to attract highly intelligent, highly experienced professionals to teach, which would require paying the teachers six figures. The article was not suggesting that teachers should receive six figures for the jobs they are doing now, but that we have to pay more to attract better teachers who will be able to raise the knowledge bar.

To find the starting and average salaries of teachers in your state, go to National Education Association (NEA).

Random Education System Stats

There are over 100,000 K-12 schools, including public, charter and private. Over 55 million kids are enrolled in a K-12 school. The student to teacher ratio has been declining over the recent decades and is now 15.7:1 for public schools. Public schools out spend private schools on a per pupil basis. All the public schools in the nation are spending 562.3 billion a year on running a school and educating a child each year. 47 billion or 8.5% of the funding comes from the federal government; $264.2 billion or47.6% is paid for by the state, and $244.1 billion or 43.9% is funded by local and private funding. Find these and other fascinating statistics at: http://www.edreform.com

The Scoop

I do believe it's still possible for a U.S. student to get a good public education, but I think there are many obstacles in students' paths preventing them from becoming the best they can be. I think government minimum achievement testing programs and the mediocrity among teachers are the largest of the stumbling stones. We must not focus on the minimum if we are hoping to soar to great heights. We must understand, identify, foster and nourish the minds and souls of our bright future leaders, as well. And yes, I ask a lot of the Public Education System, but why shouldn't I? Over and out...

Anna

You might also like:

Making the Grade: A Plea to MN Public Educators

Feeding the Minds of Students: Federally Funded School Lunch Programs & Kids' Nutrition

The Changing Seasons: Types of Schools Available to American Children

 

Bits & Pieces of Motherly Law

You know you are working too much when your 2.5 year old slams down the lid of your laptop and says, "All done. No more work, Mommy!" all the while tugging at your arm. Well, that's the state I'm in lately. All work and no play. But my big work deadlines are near, and then I'll be saying, "All done. No more work for Mommy!" {for a few days at least}.

Consequently, I don't have the time or energy to write any new content to knock your socks off today. But, I have over 300 {mostly} terrific posts from the past 15 months to choose from for you to read again or read for the first time. Here is a potpourri of information based on what's going on in my head this week.

My kind and brave mother-in-law is traveling from Texas to stay the week with us and take care of the Darling Boys as DH & I toil away in our respective employments. I wish her safe and speedy travels {well, not so speedy that the house isn't clean before she arrives}. In honor of her flights today and since the summer travel season is upon us, here are some travel posts:

Small Scale Adventures: Discovering What Your City & State Have to Offer

A Funny {or not so funny at the time} Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum: Travel Distractions & a Focus on Things Learned

Control Freak: Tips for Safe and Happy Traveling with Kids

I just created a new account at flavors.me. This site aggregates all of a user's social media pages into one location. I'm still working on my page, and DH is creating one too. I think it's a cool way to be creative and get found; if that's what you are looking to do. Since social media is a big part of our family now, here are a few posts on social media:

Social Media by the Numbers: Fill(ed)-in-the-Blank Statistics

Social Media Faux Pas: Defamation Lawsuits

Twitter 101: Engage, Build Relationships, Reply...

In our state, the Great State of Minnesota, gay rights have been on people's minds. I wrote about the same-sex marriage question regarding an amendment to the state's constitution earlier this week, but I have also discussed gay rights regarding adoption. Here are those posts:

There’s a Storm a Brewin’ in Minnesota: NOH8MN

Definition of Family: Constitutionality of FL Adoption Law Banning Gays

UPDATE: Congratulations to the Gill Family: Florida Attorney General Won't Challenge Appellate Court Ruling

Work is the focal point for the next few weeks. I have written about women and moms and the workplace in a variety of ways. Here are a few work-related posts:

"Choosing" Work over Baby: The Reality of Parental Leave in the United States

Blurring the Lines: Work/Life Balance

In Recognition of Moms: Women’s Suffrage

And for good measure, here are some chocolate-related posts:

Motherly Advice {Chocolate Therapy}

Celebrating Our 1st President: Cherry Chocolate Cookies

Motherly Advice {Recipes}

Oh, and lastly, please go take my super quick, super easy {no answers are wrong answers; you are sure to score 100%} Reader Survey. The answers help me know how best to serve you, my readers. Over and out....

 Anna

 

From the Obituaries: Trailblazing Women & Moms

Leading the Way

There are so many women who have forged ahead of us leaving a path to follow and a map for making our own way. A great number of these women had families and household responsibilities in addition to making great strides for their causes and professions and other women, in general. The majority of these women have gone unnoticed; neither winning awards nor gaining great prestige. And yet we are able to do and be and choose and say because of these women.

From the Obits

As I've mentioned on several occasions the one thing I read on a regular basis is The Week. The Week is a comprehensive guide to news from around the globe with bits representing both sides of an argument with articles on subjects ranging from that week's headlines, politics, science and technology, movie reviews, restaurant reviews, obituaries, etc. Yes, obituaries. There are usually only 2, but sometimes 3 obits listed.

These are not your run of the mill kind of obituaries. Generally, they are written about someone who was well-known in his or her field, but sometimes they are about people who did extraordinary things in his or her life without ever being well known. I always read them and have learned much from these articles.

Dr. Louise Reiss

It was from one such obituary a few months ago that the idea for this post 1^st struck me. The article was on the passing of Dr. Louise Reiss. Heard of her? No? Well, she did amazing work that started with a very simple plan and ended with a ban on certain nuclear testing.

Dr. Louise Reiss, born in 1920, the same year that women won the right to vote, attended medical school and married a fellow medical student. The two moved to St. Louis, MO in the 1950s for her husband, Dr. Eric Reiss, to take a position with the Washington University School of Medicine. Dr. Louise Reiss was hired by the St. Louis City Health Department to work on inoculating children with the polio vaccine.

In 1959, the Drs. Reiss, along with an environmental scientist, created the Greater St. Louis Citizens' Committee for Nuclear Information. It was this founding trio who initiated the Baby Tooth Survey and joined forces with Saint Louis University and Washington University of Dental Medicine to carry out the study. Dr. Louise Reiss was named the Director of this study from 1959 to 1961, leading and organizing this project.

The Baby Tooth Survey was a brilliant and simple plan to study the affect above ground nuclear testing was having on humans. Specifically, "The goal was to show that radioactive fallout from nuclear testing was getting into the nation's food supply and ultimately working its way into human bones and teeth. And the study succeeded." Source: NY Times

Youngsters losing teeth were asked to send their baby teeth to researchers. In exchange for the teeth, kids received badges which read, "I gave my tooth to science." Over 12 years, the Baby Tooth Survey researchers collected almost 320,000 baby teeth.

The teeth were sent to the Washington University lab where they were tested for strontium 90, one of over 100 chemicals present in nuclear explosions and reactors. This chemical is similar to calcium, attaching to teeth and bones when ingested through food and water. The baby teeth were the easiest way to test large numbers of people from around the country.

As was reported by The Nation in June 1959, "Dr. Louise Reiss and her assistants have had extraordinary success in getting local schools — public, private and parochial — to help in the teeth collecting. Some 250,000 forms have been distributed to reach all lower-grade students. At present, baby teeth are reaching the little office on West Pine Boulevard at the rate of about 50 a day." Source: NY Times

In one instance, the study found that children born in St. Louis in 1963 had 50 times as much strontium 90 in their teeth than children born in 1950, prior to atomic testing. In 1963, Dr. Eric Reiss testified before a Senate committee in support of the treaty with the Soviet Union and Great Britain to stop above ground nuclear testing; the treaty was signed two months later.

In 1996, in a letter to a colleague involved in the Baby Tooth Survey, Dr. Louise Reiss wrote, "I continue to be moved by the knowledge that a group of organized people can effectively pressure government if they come up with data instead of rhetoric." Source NY Times

My Early Computer

In 2011, it's almost unheard of to not own a computer. In our household, we have two laptops. And yet I did not own a computer of my own until my parents bought me one during my senior year of college. Until that time, when I needed to type and print something from a computer, I went to a computer lab on campus where large, clunky computers lined tables which were linked to two antiquated printers that often jammed on the reams of paper snaking through the machines. There was no Internet to surf, no Facebook to check or emails to return. It's hard to remember those days.

Jean Jennings Bartik

Well, just a few weeks ago, we lost a true pioneer woman; as in technology pioneer. Jean Jennings Bartik, was the only math major in her class at Northwest Missouri State Teachers College. When Bartik learned that the Army was hiring talented mathematicians for a project in Philadelphia she left on the next bus.

Bartik was on a team of 6 women whose task it was to program the ENIAC {Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer} the first all-electronic digital computer. Although it was first billed as plugging in electrical connections, the work actually entailed "converting mathematical calculations into electrical impulses decipherable by machine." It was extremely grueling work. ENIAC was originally intended to calculate the firing trajectories for artillery shells, but it was completed in 1946 and was too late for the war.

Bartik went on to work on the programming of Univac, an early commercial computer, introduced in 1951. She also worked on hardware and software for Univac and Binac, a small computer made for Northrop Airlines.

In 1951, Bartik stopped working to raise three children. Bartik returned to the computer industry in 1967. From 1967 until 1985, when Bartik was layed off, she did work with programming, training and technical publishing in the emerging computer industry.

Although at the time of her work with ENIAC, BINAC and UNIVAC she did not receive recognition, in recent years Bartik was honored for her groundbreaking, transformative work in computers.

The Scoop

These two women are just the tip of a very large iceberg. So many women, both known and unknown, honored and overlooked, young and old have contributed to our societal freedoms, advancements and overall knowledge. These women are our mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers and so on. So much is owed to these brave, strong, innovative, bright, determined women. Let us hope that when our children are adults they can look at our generation and say the same thing. Over and out...

Anna

You might also like:

 

My Hero, Princess Diana: The Importance of Role Models

In Recognition of Moms: Women’s Suffrage

Motherhood: What I Didn’t Know

In Recognition of Moms: Women’s Suffrage

Cruising Through

I have taken a lot for granted in my life. I, as a woman born in the mid-seventies and coming of age in the mid-nineties have cruised through life not concerned about being able to attend the university of my choosing; whether I would be able to get the education I desired and the licensure necessary for the career path I picked; whether I could find a job as an attorney or if I would be able to vote for who I wanted to in local, state and national elections based on the F marked in a box on a form.

I may have had a few hitches in my plans or hit a few bumps in the road, but I have never fought against such a determined regime, met with such high obstacles or stopped to consider how I came to have all these rights, accessibilities and liberties; rights my great-grandmothers did not fully enjoy; a few rights not even my grandmothers fully enjoyed.

Women's Rights

In 1920, the 19^th Amendment was passed, providing: "The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex." While the fact that this Amendment was passed at all is remarkable in itself, but it's the time and energy and passion of the women who succeeded in getting it passed that is the most extraordinary part of the story.

It took 72 years for women to achieve the right to vote....72 years. Absurd! The Equal Rights Amendment which women fought hard for from 1923 to 1982 is still awaiting ratification by 3 more states after passing both the House and the Senate back in 1982. The U.S. has yet to elect a female President or Vice President unlike many countries of our world. And as of May 2010, only 15 of the Fortune 500 CEOs were women.

The Long Journey

In honor of Mother's Day and Mothers and Daughters and Sons everywhere I thought I would spend this week discussing women's rights in the U.S. and the laws that have passed thus far. Today, my focus is on women's suffrage and the journey of getting the 19^th Amendment enacted. These many women fought that we might have the freedom to vote and be equal to our husbands, brothers, fathers, and sons. Here are a few points to ponder and share with your kiddos:

• Suffrage is defined as the right of voting. The women who waged this battle were often referred to as Suffragists.
• Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott organized the first Woman's Right Convention in Seneca Falls, NY in 1848. There were 300 women and men in attendance at this 2 day meeting where they sought to gain support for women's rights and bring awareness to these injustices.
• At the first Woman's Right Convention "Attendees resolved to 'secure for [woman] political, legal and social equality with man,' giving her the opportunity to freely choose her sphere." Source: www.wikipedia.com
• Women's right activists held national conventions every year until the Civil War began, but resumed again in 1868.
• In 1878, the amendment was introduced to Congress for the 1^st time.
• The Suffragists were taunted, jailed and beaten. These women pursued various strategies to gain support and awareness: hunger strikes, passing state laws giving women state voting rights, parades, challenging male-only laws, silent vigils.
• In 1872, Susan B. Anthony, citing her citizenship under the 14^th Amendment, cast a ballot in the presidential election in NY. She was arrested, tried, convicted and fined $100. Anthony refused to pay this fine. The Supreme Court later found that women may be citizens, but not all citizens are voters and states do not have to allow women to vote.
• Both Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton died before ever casting a legal ballot though they spent their lives fighting for this right. In fact, most of these trailblazers died before ever getting the chance vote alongside their male counterparts.
• Stanton was not supported in this endeavor by her husband or father and as her family continued to grow, her fight was often behind the scenes through writings published under a pseudonym.
• The fate of the 19^th Amendment was decided by a single vote, that of 24-year-old legislator in TN, Harry Burn, who switched from "no" to "yes" in response to a letter from his mother saying, "Hurrah, and vote for suffrage!" source: www.equalrightsamendment.org

The Scoop

I can only imagine the jubilation with which the women voted following the passage of the 19^th Amendment. Although a law does not change the views of all people, as is still apparent in our society. Over time, it has become the norm & {legal} for women to vote, hold office, gain an education, run a business, own property, etc. Society mellows and accepts "new fangled ideas" of each generation. And yet, women still have mountains to climb in the U.S. to reach the peak of true equality.

What would I have done if faced with these restrictions? Would I rise up and revolt as these strong and determined women did? I certainly hope I would have been brave enough to fight that battle. And I hope that I will be brave when faced with similar injustices in my lifetime. Your thoughts? Over and out...

Anna

You might also like:

Definition of Family: Constitutionality of FL Adoption Law Banning Gays

Celebrating Christmas: The Plastic Reindeer Rule; Analysis of Lynch v. Donnelly

Con Law for Preschoolers: Exercising Our First Amendment Rights at Home {& in Schools}

My Hero, Princess Diana: The Importance of Role Models

Identifying Role Models

I don't know how often kids look to role models these days. It seems to me that there are fewer and fewer worthy celebrated people whether a child considers movie stars, politicians, business leaders or athletes to emulate success, acumen or fame. We have seen too many athletes, stars, business wizards and elected officials tumble from their high stages in the last decade.

In our digital, online, always connected world fame is often fleeting and is frequently fickle. Yet our young ones need someone to admire; and someone worthy of this admiration. They should be able to say, "I want to be like so-and-so when I grow up" about someone full of strength, know-how and civility. A role model should be respectable and respectful. So, you can see the predicament. How many such larger-than-life figures are there out there who deserve this kind of adoration?

No, a role model certainly does not have to be a movie star, an athlete earning 7 million a year or the President of the United States. There are wonderful role models working in schools, in courthouses, fire stations, auto repair shops, in cubicles and countless other careers across this great country. But stop for a second and think back to your childhood. Your mom, dad, uncle, grandma, cousin or neighbor might have been hard-working, brilliant, innovative or deserving role models, and you probably appreciate these people for how they contributed to your upbringing and success as a human being now, but as a child you probably looked beyond these everyday folks to the larger-than-life stars.

Memories of a Childhood Hero

My "star" role model was Princess Diana. Chuckle if you will, but it's true. My first encounter with Princess Di was her wedding. My neighbor invited me over to watch the wedding on TV with her. That's all it took for me. I was captivated by her beauty, her mystery, her style, her grace and her title. For years, I made scrap books devoted to her; I bought books and magazine emblazoned with photos of her; and I wrote her a 7 page letter in large, scrawling 10 year old handwriting. And she replied. I was ecstatic to say the least.

Was she perfect? No, and none of us are. But Princess Di was a strong, gracious, giving, devoted person. When she died I was in law school. I had moved on from my days of reading every tidbit I could find and analyzing every photo of her showing off her latest styles. Even still, I remained glued to my television throughout that sad day and the next. I went back through my books filled with her image and thought about all she had meant to me, and I grieved her death.

When I was in college, I spent a glorious summer going to school in London. I recall visiting Kensington Palace {still her residence at the time} and being so very content just knowing Princess Di could be there somewhere in that sprawling structure too. I know I'm not alone in my adoration for Princess Diana. She meant so much to so many people for so many reasons across the world. I'm glad to have had this role model, and I've been thinking a lot about her lately with William and Kate's wedding date fast approaching.

A Star Athlete

My Darling Boys, just 4.5 and 2.5 years old already have a wonderful role model. He's a quiet man of just enough words. He's young, yet has accomplished so much. He's a hard worker. He's cool {to say the least} under pressure. He's kind. He's attentive. He answers their many questions. He's a cousin. He's a major league baseball player. He's a pitcher.

My Darling Boys are so blessed to have this man to look up to as a hero; to know; to admire; to cheer for, to want to emulate. At 4.5 years old, Darling 1 wants to follow Cousin Jeff and be a pitcher too. Will he succeed in this dream? Will he keep this dream? Who knows? Jeff did.

The Scoop

Role models are vital to kids' growth, imagination and dreams. It's important that they have positive, uplifting, determined heroes to look up to and follow. It isn't always easy to find such folks to admire, but they're out there and your kids will find them. Who was your hero? Do your kids have one or two or twelve? Over and out...

Anna

You might also like:

Motherly Advice: Special Mother’s Day Feature

Legal Eagles: Tips for Being Law Abiding Model Citizens (& Parents) and Top Law Movies and TV Shows

Motherly Advice

Blowing Bubbles in the Wind: Giving an Idea a Chance at Life

The Birth of an Idea

"I have an idea." I say this a lot. These four words always stop DH in his tracks with a tentative "What?" What follows this sentence could be as simple "Let's go on a picnic"; or more complicated and time consuming like "We should clean out every closet in the house and rearrange all the rooms"; or something as life-changing as starting a blog or a new business.

Regardless, I have many ideas of all shapes and sizes germinating in my brain. Many of them are really good; at least I think so {& so does DH whether he admits it or not}.

They start as little bubbles being blown into the breeze. Most get popped almost immediately. Others drift for a bit, gaining speed and momentum before slamming into a tree branch or landing on the nose of a dog passing by. Only a very few make it through the brambles of trees and shrubs and float out over the water where the wind whips it about this way and that, keeping the little bubble intact and moving forward.

It's these few, but sturdy bubbles that keep hope alive; pump the creative juices through my veins; and give me the confidence to speak the words out loud. These words bring my idea to life and could hold the key to my future or at least bring me closer to the key.

Exposing Your Thoughts

It's amazing how revealing and vulnerable it is to talk to another person about a fabulously fantastic, utterly unbelievably awesome idea. Sharing dreams and goals with another is never easy. It's painless for the person with no investment in the idea to crush it or poke holes in it, which can be devastating for the bubble-blower. And yet, that's exactly what a person with a fabulously fantastic, utterly unbelievably awesome idea should do: share it; heed the advice; and then work out the details, fill the holes and keep going.

If the idea can be stepped on and smashed, it's far better that a friend or colleague, rather than foe do the hole-poking. Somehow there's a little consolation in someone who cares about you to be the one to pop your idea bubbles.

Realizing Dreams

I've always been a dreamer. Some ideas are small and easily obtainable. Other dreams are realized only after years of hard work. And some are still out there bobbing around in the breeze looking for the perfect landing spot to allow rays of sunlight to bounce off into a rainbow of colors.

Some of my proudest moments in my little life have been my law school graduation, passing the bar and being sworn in as an attorney & giving birth to my kids; all of these moments were made possible by little ideas that sprouted into big plans, dreams and goals.

I could have said an idea is like a wave or a seed or a tree or any number of items. Regardless of what I compare it to, some ideas make it off the drawing board; and some don't. But that isn't the point. The point is that I have dared to think it; dared to dream it; dared to share it; and dared to poke holes in it; and then see if it'll still float.

The Scoop

This thought process is what keeps our minds active and free of cobwebs. And my idea might just be the next big thing. Will I succeed? According to Dr. Seuss, it's practically guaranteed, but to what degree is up to me.

Are you a dreamer? Are you willing to put yourself out there and let an idea sprout and take root? Do you cultivate little dreamers? As parents, we should be helping our kids to grow their own ideas and let their dreams take root. Over and out...

Anna

 

 

 

In Search of a Suit: My Personal Shopping Experience with Fabuliss

Shopping

I remember when shopping was fun, lasted all day and ended with lots of shopping bags being hauled to the car. Alas, those days are over.

These days a shopping trip usually means running into a store grabbing a few pieces of clothing, usually sale items, and briskly heading to the dressing room. After rejecting most of the pieces, I go back for one more round and try again. I can usually find a couple of great deals that I like; mostly jeans and black sweaters and tops.

I have given up shopping at department stores, besides Kohl's and Target. They are just too overwhelming, stocked with so many brands and styles. I simply do not have that amount of time to devote to shopping anymore. I usually go to Ann Taylor, Loft, Banana Republic and Gap where the selections are limited and the sales abound as of late.

Panel Member

When I was invited to participate in two panel discussions in the month of March {one on Monday in New York sponsored by Consumer Reports and the U.S. Department of Transportation on the subject of distracted driving; and the other here in the Twin Cities on March 18^th at the Social Media Breakfast on the subject of Social Media and the Law}, I knew it was time to REALLY shop.

Personal Shopper

I contacted Sasha Westin of Fabuliss. Sasha offers several services including personal shopping, closet makeovers, seasonal updates, remote styling, private style parties, etc. I chose the personal shopping option to help find a professional, yet stylish suit for my panel engagements.

It has been six years since I had a need to wear or shop for a suit. In fact, in December, at a private style party with Sasha, hosted by my friend, Molly Snyder of The Snyder 5, I gave all my "old" suits to Sasha to donate to Dress for Success Twin Cities.

I had no idea where to start. I knew I needed a suit, but other than that, I was open to whatever Sasha presented to me. Sasha and I met at an Ann Taylor. I promptly went to the dressing room and waited. Sasha proceeded to bring suits of various colors, styles and sizes. I tried on, gave a thumbs up or down and she kept coming and going with a steady stream of clothes. We also went to Macy's, but were both fairly disappointed with their suit selection.

The whole process took a little over two hours. It was really nice to have someone who had a professional opinion about style, fit and color helping in the dressing room.

  

  The Suit

Instead of just a photo of me in my suit, I decided to do a video blog (vlog) for the 1^st time showing you my whole outfit. I do have a few disclaimers: 1) I say in the video that by the time you see this I will have worn it in NY, but that's not true. I decided to go ahead and post it now rather than waiting until Monday. So, if you don't like the suit, keep it to yourself, please; 2) I talk with my hands...a lot; and 3) I'm fighting a cold hence the coughing, etc.

  

 

Things I Learned

• Check petite sizes if you seem to be stuck between two sizes and you have a short waist or short legs, etc. It might work. It did for me.
• If you are "cool" wear silver rather than gold when it comes to jewelry.
• You can wear a deep red/burgundy shoe with almost anything.
• Metallic is great paired with just about anything.

The Scoop

Do you have some styling needs? Spring fashion is making its way into stores now...better call Sasha at Fabuliss to get a jumpstart on this season's wardrobe. And remember, Sasha can do remote styling using a photo. So, if you are in need of professional style help whether you live in the Twin Cities or somewhere else, contact Sasha. You can also access Fabuliss by clicking the ad on the right sidebar.

I'm getting ready to go to New York today, and I'll be posting about the event, distracted driving and what I'm taking to read on the airplane on Sunday. On Monday, I'll be posting the points I hope to cover during the panel discussion. How did you like the vlog? Do I look Fabuliss? {If your answer is anything but yes, shush!} Over and out...

Anna

How Far Are You Willing To Go: Taking Risks

Guest Post by Dear Husband:

Risk

I've always fancied myself as a risk-taker. You know, the type of guy who would go skydiving or eXtreme river rafting; or even ride a bull. Yeah, that's right. I'm a care-free kind of guy who gets his kicks by taking risks. Nobody can stop me. Heck, while I'm at it I think I'll quit my job without another one lined up.

Who am I kidding? I have always wanted to do the aforementioned risk-taking activities and many more. I have even spent time planning out the things I would do, but for whatever reason I have never followed through. And now I realize I'm a fraud!

The closest thing I did to riding a bull was chasing a poor calf around a rodeo arena as a kid, trying to grab the ribbon off its tail. Now that calf was a risk-taker. Can you imagine the adrenaline he must have felt while close to a hundred kids hyped up on funnel cake and caramel corn in cowboy boots chased him around the arena?

The Real Deal

I respect those who take risks. I'm not only talking about physical risks, but also life-changing risks; the type of change that requires months and sometimes years of planning; the type that comes with a chance for failure and perhaps a possibility of great success. I've been thinking about all of this lately due to the recent decision a friend and her husband have made.

Shane Wyatt is a local Country Singer/Songwriter who grew up in Oklahoma only a couple of hours East from where I did in North Texas. In August 2009, Shane made a move that many only fantasize about doing. He quit his day job as Vice President of Development and Support to become a full-time musician. After a couple of years of songwriting, promoting his album The Last Cowboy and touring, he's taking the ultimate risk and chance of a lifetime. He's moving to Nashville, TN; Music City USA.

I can only imagine the amount of time, planning, patience, persistence and money it took to pursue this goal. This commitment took him a step closer towards realizing a dream he had been envisioning since he was a kid playing the fiddle back in Oklahoma. Of course, without the complete support from his wife I'm sure he would still be "pushing the paper" at his day job.

Which leads me to another important factor of risk-taking; a single person has more freedom to take risks. On the other hand, a person who is married or has a child or two must be a bit more cautious when it comes to taking risks; carefully weighing the outcomes and variables. And most importantly, the risk-taker must have the go-ahead and encouragement from his or her partner and kid(s) before taking the plunge.

Getting it Done

After a bit of careful self reflection, I've determined that I rarely let a situation go far enough to be considered a risk. Why is that? There are many reasons: lack of focus and drive; lost interest; too scared; the wife says no (bull riding, for example) and many more. But after I read the below list I also realized that I shouldn't always be so reluctant to take a few risks.

Tips for Effective Risk-Taking

1. Don't risk everything. You should only risk something that, in the event it doesn't go your way, won't ruin you financially, emotionally or physically.
2. Ask for what you want. More often than not, you will get it.
3. Avoid unhealthy risks. The risks you take should be positive. They should not put you, or others, at risk of physical or emotional harm.
4. Learn from failures. Inevitably, some of your risks won't pan out. Turn these failures into a positive by figuring out where you went wrong, then applying what you learned to your next risk.
5. Start right away. The more risks you take, the easier it will become. Remember, it doesn't need to be a huge risk to make a meaningful impact on your life. Some small risks to get you started include trying a new type of food, wearing a different style of clothing, changing your hairstyle or taking a weekend trip to someplace you've never been before.
6. Don't worry about what others think. Remember, this is your life, your desire, your risk. Keep moving ahead with what you want, even if those around you have different views.
7. If there's nothing to lose, take the risk. Oftentimes a risk may seem scary, but when you really examine it you'll find you have nothing to lose. If this is the case, always take the risk.

   (Source: www.sixwise.com)

Of course, there are many times a risk is just not worth it. Shari Peace, president of Peace Talks, a professional speaking firm, says there are signs that tell you when a risk is NOT a good idea:

1. There's a good chance you could lose everything.
2. You have to put a lot on the line to get only a little.
3. There are too many factors you can't control.
4. You feel the odds are against you.
5. There is no way to fix the outcome if it doesn't turn out how you want.
6. You have to take the risk before having a chance to prepare and/or evaluate it.

(Source: www.sixwise.com)

The Scoop

Within the last week I've been thrust into a risk-taking situation. Although not by choice, it has the potential for a very positive outcome. So, I'll be considering these steps while I plot the best route for me and my family. And I'll be using this list when a new opportunity with some risk rears its head. The trick will be to follow through by staying focused and interested, not being scared to risk a little in order to gain something.

Are you a risk taker? What steps do you take when planning to take a risk? Please go check out Shane Wyatt.

Dear Husband

You might also like:

Competitive Fire: Tips for Preventing Injuries in Youth Sports

Striking a Balance: Tips for Effective Decision Making

Taking the Plunge