Hanging By a Thread

5 Things: For My Boys

I'm always telling my kids stuff. Some stuff is important and a lot of it is just mundane stuff… "Pick up your coat and put it on the hook." "Put your dish in the sink." "Remember to put clean underwear on…yes, again…You have to put new underwear on every day!" "Brush your teeth…yes, again…yes, you already did it once today. Do it again!" "Sit on your chair properly, PLEASE!" But I think those mundane things are important too otherwise they would be dirty, stinky pigs, living in a filthy home.

And yet, I don't want them to think back on their childhoods and remember only the discussions on hygiene and manners and simple chores. These days, I spend a lot of time with my kids, and I say a lot of stuff to them. So, yes, those routine commands and reminders and discussions are important for all human beings, but these are the messages I really want them to get and remember and live by.

To my boys:

1. Be Yourself. Whoever that Is. Express yourself through music, art, written words, creations, performances or any other form you see fit. Don't be afraid to be different. It's fine if you stand out or if you blend in or do both from time to time. Be true to thine own heart in all you do. You have much to offer, but you must first accept who you are and understand your strengths and weaknesses. You are not the gift to the world, but you have many gifts to offer the world once you understand who you are and work hard to fully develop these gifts.
2. Be Kind. This means being merciful, loving, generous, respectful and forgiving, be like Jesus…to yourself and to all others, even your brother….especially your brother. Do not be lulled by the loud, angry voices of the world. Those mantras lead only to unhappiness, discord and hurt. Instead, seek peaceful resolution and compassionate understanding and acceptance. This does not mean letting go of your own convictions and values. It's the opposite. It's standing tall for what you believe in and hold near to your heart even when pushed to the absolute breaking point.
3. Work Hard. You will never get anywhere or do anything of value or have anything worth having unless you work hard. This means doing even the shit work at the bottom of the ladder; the stuff you don't like or have no passion for, the stuff that doesn't seem to matter. But it does matter. It all matters. Get a job as soon as you can. Feel what it's like to earn money for working hard. Keep working your way through until you get to the stuff that you love. Try your darnedest to find a profession that fills you with passion and joy. But if you don't, keep working hard and build a life that fills you with passion and joy!
4. Dance. Always dance as you do now and always have since you could stand on your own two legs and groove. Don't lose this zeal for uninhibited freedom of movement. Refer to #1…be yourself! It doesn't matter if you look silly, you are silly and that's a good thing! For so long, I was not sure enough of myself to dance and that is one of the only regrets I have in life. Isn't that funny? You might not think that dancing or not dancing is an important enough issue to be a regret, but it is. So, never stop movin' and groovin' to the beat of the music…even if it's your own beat.
5. Keep Your Mind and Eyes and Ears Open to the World Around You. There is so much to learn. Every. Single. Day. Often, it's the places and times and people you least expect to learn from that teach you the most. Never shut your mind off. Do not ever think you know everything you need to know. You do not. Explore places and cultures and flavors. Understand the lessons of the past. Look to the future and embrace the ideas not yet realized. And when you encounter a question, a problem, a riddle in life, remember to look for the solution, the answer, the way through or around or under or over no matter how difficult or unsolvable it seems. You have the tools to solve it and find the answer. Never doubt that. Stop talking long enough to look and listen and really see and hear what is all around you. You learn more by listening than by talking. I have said this many times to you, my little chatter boxes.
6. And one bonus: I Love You! Always remember that you are loved so much that sometimes it hurts just thinking about you out in the big, wide world. And no matter how often we get upset with each other or have arguments or exchange words that are not kind or disagree on big or small things, I will NEVER stop loving you and believing in you. You are my heart.

These are just a few of the messages I want to imprint on my young men. Time goes by so fast that sometimes I wonder what they will remember or think back on and will they know the stuff that mattered more. So many times I hope and pray that I am not crushing, ruining, destroying, stunting these precious, still growing and developing beings from God. My prayer is that the important stuff sticks and all the filler falls away into oblivion. Over and out…

Anna

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5 Things: Regarding Mercy

Have Mercy. Be merciful.

How often do we show mercy with ourselves, with our families, with strangers?

It can be hard to be merciful. I certainly should respond with mercy more often. I am always working on this myself. So, this is said without judgment, but I'm often dismayed with people's comments about and responses to others in so many situations where mercy would be the right answer. And from where I sit, I think our world could use a big ol' dose of mercy right now. We are so hyper critical of one another, so very thin-skinned and often completely consumed with ourselves and our own families above all else.

So, what exactly is mercy?

Well, mercy is defined as: compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one's power; compassion, pity, or benevolence.

Pope Francis has declared this coming year the Year of Mercy. The motto for this Holy Year is "Merciful Like the Father." This phrase is meant to be an invitation to us to "follow the merciful example of the Father who asks us not to judge or condemn but to forgive and to give love and forgiveness without measure," according to the Vatican, but WAIT you don't need to be catholic or even believe in God to get something from this…

5 Ways to show mercy:

1. Be merciful with yourself when you make a mistake or falter in your mission to be merciful. We aren't perfect. And that's ok. So, remember to be firm, but gentle with yourself. Just keep trying.
2. Help out when someone needs your aid whether it's a friend or family member or complete stranger, regardless of whether they deserve your assistance. After all, that's what mercy, is, right? Help without trying to figure out what's in it for you. Help without expecting a return favor, a pat on the back or even a thanks. Just help because someone needs help. Mercy has nothing to do with what someone deserves.
3. Forgive and FORGET. Let it go….this phrase may be overused these days, but that's what you need to do; hold no grudges. Let all past hurt and disappointments and wrongs flow out from you, never to return. This is really mercy for yourself and others.
4. Don't get too big for your britches. You are loved and supported and special and important (to 1 or 1 million), but so are many, many others. Don't let honors or money or celebrity or status or a big head give you the false idea that you are better or more important than others. You aren't. Each of us do matter though.
5. Seek out those in need and do something to give them comfort; the sick, the poor, the overworked, the lonely, the grieving. As the saying goes, it is better to give than to receive, and it's true. If you can do something to help, do so {and can't we always find some way to help someone}. You'll feel good about it and so will the person you helped…win/win, right.

These seem like simple enough points to follow, but what if we're too tired or too busy or don't feel like it or we've had a bad day… how simple is it then? It is precisely in those moments that we will show our true colors. And I know from my personal experience, it is often much easier to say, "Screw mercy, what about me? I deserve this or that or the other…" So often our selfish, egotistical selves speak up in these moments and that voice is usually louder and more powerful and selfishness beats out mercy.

So, during this month of thanksgiving, as we near the end of this year and begin the new year, I ask you to reflect on your innards for a bit and challenge yourself to conquer self-centeredness and allow mercy to triumph, over and over.

Remember it's not always easy for most of us. There are a few true saints on this earth who always show mercy on others, and thank God for that as I have so often come in contact with these venerable saints on earth throughout my life.

So, don't beat yourself up if you stumble in this task…remember, be merciful with yourself too. But do keep trying to give aid and love and forgiveness from your heart without asking for anything in return.

Again, even if you aren't Catholic (technically I'm not either, but I do love my Catholic church) or (gasp) don't even believe in God at all, there's a lot here for you too. Mercy is still the answer. It makes for a better world and a happier you and happier everyone else…if we all endeavor to practice mercy in our lives every single day. Who's in? Over and out…

Anna

 

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5 Things: Above and Beyond Coffee Cups

In regards to the Starbucks "Christmas" cup kerfluffle, I have nothing to say that has not already been said, and I think we're all over the ridiculousness of it. But the part that gets me the most is how silly and petty and irrelevant this argument makes Christianity look because true Christian beliefs are none of those things. I don't want to speak for Jesus Christ, but I find it impossible to believe that this gentle, loving, forgiving teacher would take issue with red and green coffee cups. What I do know is what we as Christians have been called to do, and this is what I want to focus on:

5 Things We Should Be Doing for One Another:

1. Feeding the hungry: I live in a city, and it's not hard to find ways to feed those who hunger. Drop off a bagged lunch to someone you see on a corner. Take food to a food shelf. Make sandwiches and take to an outreach center like Saint Vincent de Paul at the Basilica of St. Mary in downtown Minneapolis (our personal favorite) or similar outreach center. Serve a meal at a shelter. The list goes on and on. Make a pot of soup and take it to a friend or neighbor who is especially busy or burdened.
2. Comforting the lonely: The world is full of lonely people. I know I've been lonely at times, and the smallest gestures of love and support and friendship do not go unnoticed and can make such an impact. So, be there for friends, family and strangers. A kind word, a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, a card in the mail, a text, help with the kids, a hot meal, a simple, "Are you OK?" Suck it up even when you feel awkward or uncomfortable and simply be present for someone and be ready to listen.
3. Visiting the sick: Again, this can be awkward and uncomfortable, but being a Christian doesn't mean living the cushy, privileged, easy life. It means getting out there in the world and being of service to others in need; giving even when we think we have nothing more to give. Now, sometimes actually visiting the sick is not feasible, but volunteering to cook a meal or pick up or drop off kids or cleaning the house or running errands is also a help. Visiting the sick can take many forms.

   Last year, my son ended up in Children's Hospital for an appendectomy, and we were so well taken care of by the staff, by our family and by our friends. We happened to be on the oncology floor where lots of kids occupy their rooms for long periods of time. We decided that this year for Christmas we're going to make up a box of art supplies to take to that floor. While there, my son, enjoyed making crafts and singing songs in the activities room on that floor. So, hopefully, our arts and crafts supplies will be enjoyed by other kids staying on that floor.

4. Clothing the poor: We live in a place that has four clear cut seasons. It gets seriously cold here. It's vitally important that all people here have a warm coat, gloves, hat, scarf or muffler, socks, boots and snow pants. Please consider donating new and gently used winter gear and any clothes. It's not hard to find places to give clothing. Schools are always in need of clothing and outerwear and shoes. Many churches also take these items, especially churches downtown.
5. Loving one another: Have patience and mercy with each other. We're all trying our best and sometimes our best may be very low standards for some, but on that particular day or time it's the best we can do. We would all do well remembering this. Who among us has not had a really, horribly rotten day or week or month or year and simply needed to feel loved? This point sounds like an easy one, but it may be the hardest: love others whether they love you or do anything for you or benefit you in any way…simply love others because we are all merely imperfect creatures.

These are the things I want to focus on in my life, and what I hope to be teaching my kiddos in the process. So, whether you profess to be Christian or not, I hope you will join me in serving those in need. If we focus on loving and doing and sharing and caring, we won't have time for name calling and judging and hating. This is my hope, at least.

Oh, but for the record, my boys said that the color red alone does stand for Christmas; that is, red is for the blood Jesus shed for us that washed away our sins…Over and out…

Anna

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5 Things {To Save World}

OK….So, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit when it comes to saving the world, but still, hear me out.

Plastic is a big problem for our Earth. As in, it takes years and years and years and years to break down. Some sources say it may takes plastic containers, bottles and bags 100s or even 1000s of years to break down. The truth is, we don't actually know how long it will take. Plastic bags have been around only 50 years….and they're all still piling up in landfills, etc.

So, our family has been trying our darndest to greatly reduce the amount of plastic we use. I know what you're thinking, "Your one little family not using so much plastic isn't going to save the world or make any great impact." And you're right. That's why each of us should be doing our part in "saving the world" whether it's reducing plastic usage, using fewer or no harmful chemicals in our homes, reducing our overall all carbon footprints, etc.

And did you know if you used just 3 reusable produce bags a week, you'd reduce your plastic bag usage by 150 in just one year? And did you further know that the average family goes through about 500 plastic baggies a year just for school and work lunches?

The way I see it is that if we choose to do things that reduce the waste and the harmful chemicals released into our air and leave our world a purer place for our kids and their kids or at the very least slow the damage to our planet and our people, then it's worth it.

And really these 5 things are EASY…there's just one I have trouble with….

1. Norwex Snack Bags/Sandwich Wraps. We NEVER send plastic baggies in school lunches. We also opt for reusable spoons and forks and travel sized enviro cloths for lunch napkins for waste free lunches. These bags are also great for small toys, crayons, pacifiers, etc. even makeup or nail files and polishes, etc., etc.
2. Reusable Bags for Shopping. Here's the one I have trouble with. I have them in my car, and I usually remember to take them in at Trader Joe's and my co-op, but often forget them when running into Target or a clothing store or shoe store, etc. I'm working on this one. And when I forget I do take my plastic bags to Target to recycle….I hope they actually recycle them!
3. Norwex Mesh Produce Bags. I use these at the grocery stores for fruits and veggies and for picking tomatoes and peppers in our garden – we have had a huge tomato crop and these bags are great for this job. My son even took one to school to store his headphones in. I use one in the freezer for the bananas that go mushy before they are eaten and get used in muffins, breads and pancakes. They are also great for washing grapes so that you don't lose them down the drain or for washing and/or storing Legos bath toys or Barbies and so many other things!
4. Compostable Trash Bags. I feel good about using these. I found 2 different brands at Lakewinds Co-op. They aren't too pricey and there are several sizes, depending on your needs. We have found them to be pretty strong and to work well.
5. Norwex Stainless Steel Straws. Think about how many millions of straws are tossed out each day….staggering isn't it? Well, if you use them in your own home or often stop for a carbonated beverage or shake or smoothie, then these stainless steel straws will serve you well. There's even a handy brush to clean them well! Again, I am working out a system to keep them in my car and remember to grab these and not the plastic version when we stop for a refreshing drink. My boys love to use them with milk.

OK, OK….I actually have 7 points for you, not 5….

1. Silicone Lids. I have been using these for about a year or so now. Norwex just launched a version too – work just the same and they are fantastic! The lids are safe for stovetops, ovens, microwaves and the fridge. There are so many reasons to love them. I don't even use metal lids for my pots now. The silicone lids make perfect rice, make the pasta water boil faster, keep food warm and still good for hours, steams veggies to perfection, keep baked good fresh and moist AND no more plastic wrap! Plus fewer dishes to wash since you can go from stove to fridge in the same container. Oh, and they don't stain or retain odor.
2. Beeswax & Cloth Wrap. I found this at my Lakewinds Co-op too, and they are great! They come in several sizes and even a variety pack. I use them to wrap cheese, bread, fruits, veggies, whatever and, again, NO PLASTIC WRAP or BAGGIES! You simply rinse it with cool water and dry it off and then wrap up the food. The warmth of your hand will mold and seal the beeswax and cloth wrap.

And this is what we're doing, along with removing all harmful chemicals from our home and recycling tons of plastic, paper and glass. Of course, there are always more things we can do…and we will. What are you focusing on changing in your home? Over and out….

Anna

**Full Disclosure: one of the many hats I wear is that of Norwex Independent Sales Consultant. However, none of these products were given to me and no company sponsored this post. This is simply my opinion based on experience using these products in my home.

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5 Things {Confessions of a Mom}

Judge me if you will, but I don't and won't feel guilty about these things. I'm a mom with a lot on my plate, just like every mom. I'm just doing the best I can with the resources I've got at hand.

1. I don't like to play. I feel that I put my time in playing when they were tiny tots, but now I expect them to play together or alone. I simply don't want to play superheroes or cars or Pokémon or Power Rangers or anything else.

    

   I DO love to read with my kids. I DO love to explore with my kids. And I certainly don't remember my mom playing with us, and my brother and I did fine.

    

2. I HATE messes. This is the thing that has been the worst part of parenthood for me. I don't mean the clutter of toys on every surface and strung out across the floor and not having time to put away laundry, etc. I mean puke all over a bed or poopy underwear or pee all over the toilet and floor or a plate full of food flipped over onto the rug or metlty ice cream on hands, face, clothes, shoes, the car seat, the seat belt and everything else. These things push me over the edge. I suffer through and try to maintain composure, but these types of messes drive me nuts and with my two boys there are often huge messes.

    

3. Sometimes I let me my kids eat McDonalds Happy Meals. I feed my family well. We eat mostly organic and lots of fruits and veggies and whole grains, but on occasion we go through the drive thru at McDonalds and they get to order a cheeseburger Happy Meal. And I'm OK with this.

    

   On a related note: They have asked to go to Taco Bell (having never been there before), and I have told them if they choose to eat there once they're in college they can, but we rarely eat fast food and it's limited to McDonalds – not that McDonalds is better than another; it's just the one we have gone to. I basically survived on Taco Bell bean burritos with sour cream and McDonald's French fries my freshman year of college; I figure that if they have a good basis, they could survive on junk food for a short time of their lives while in college, if they so choose.

    

4. I don't know or care to know anything about Minecraft. Or any other video game for that matter. My kids love Minecraft and Angry Birds and Super Mario Bros and a gillion other games. I have never understood the appeal or cared one iota about video games. But their dad does get it and likes it, and they can bond over their creations in their Minecraft worlds. So, I simply refer them to Will when they question something and ooh and ahh over their designs and creations they show me from time to time. (I am truly in awe of the things they build in Minecraft)

    

5. My kids get more than the recommended amount of screen time each day. They each have a tablet. They play games and watch videos on Netflix and listen to audiobooks on the tablets at home. At school, they sometimes watch videos in class and in their after-school program there are tablets, computers and a TV for Wii games and movies. And on occasion, we have family movie night and watch movies until everyone falls asleep.

    

   They also run and play on the playground at school and outside with friends at home, but I am quite sure my kids exceed the recommended daily limits for screen time. I depend on this quiet time in which they are creating worlds in Minecraft or watching a favorite program or listening to books on their own. This time allows them to unwind from a long day at school. I can make phone calls or get dinner going or get some work done without interruption. We do put limits on where and when the tablets get used, but I have become quite attached to my kids' tablets (aka babysitter.

As I said, judge me if you will, it won't change the way I feel or the way I do things. The way I see it is that each parent has to figure out how to make everything work for his or her family and in so doing she or he must decide what to let slide and what's important and what's not and when to allow for this, but not that.

Everyone will have different rules and standards, and I think we must respect that in each other. And just because someone else is doing it a different way, it doesn't mean your way is wrong or on the flip side that your way is best.

Of course, there are exceptions when it comes to neglect or abuse. Those things should never be ignored or accepted and should be reported.

But if one family says it's OK for their kids to watch a PG-13 movie and another family says that's not OK, I think they're both right. If one family says no screen time after 6 pm and another lets their kids read books on their tablets for an hour each evening before bed, fine. One family says no pop at all and another says pop without caffeine is OK; well, so be it.

Each family has its own priorities and opinions and ways of doing things. I think that judging another parent for doing something or allowing something that we, ourselves, don't agree with, only makes us feel superior or justified, but does not mean we are right and they are wrong. So, just do your own thang, but be kind to yourself and others. Over and out...

Anna

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5 Things {Favorite Kitchen Hacks…from just regular ol’ me}

I have the world's smallest kitchen. The kitchen also serves as the pathway between the rest of the house and the breezeway, garage and back doors. Often during this time of year while I'm cooking dinner in the evening my children are in and out, traipsing through with another gun or a ninja sword or a football helmet or a sleeping bag or spy kits or any number of items that they need for playing whatever they are playing outside with their friends. Cooking in my kitchen is usually fairly complicated due the tiny size and the heavy foot traffic. However, I power through it all, producing fresh, tasty, nutritious meals that my kids either love or hate (one can never tell which it will be); my husband eats it all.

I do spend a large amount on our food each month, but it's important to me that we eat as much fresh, organic and local food as I can possibly get. I take our food seriously, as in I care about what we put into our bodies, but I think planning meals and cooking should be fun. So, I do employ a few hacks to help me make my meals better or easier to prep or clean up.

1. {For the love of all that's good and holy} Refuse to Use Cooking Spray. Seriously, cooking sprays are simply not necessary. When you're baking or roasting, simply use a parchment or foil or a silicone baking sheet liner. And then when it's done, you're baking sheet is still clean (for the most part) and nothing sticks to the parchment, foil or silicone baking sheet.
2. Preserve Herbs. This was the best of use of my herbs ever. I simply chopped up my herbs (Rosemary, Thyme, Oregano, Sage) last fall and put them in an ice cube tray and filled each compartment with melted butter or olive oil. Then, I froze the cubes. I just take out a cube and use it when I need it for stir fries, sauces, sautés, cornbread, etc. The flavor is abundant and fresh.
3. Hold the Dressing. Make your own. It's easy, it's cheaper and it's better for you. All you need is some oil - I most often use olive oil and walnut oil – and your favorite vinegar or some lemon or lime or orange juice, maybe some honey or maple syrup and mustard, add some spices or herbs, if you like. Start with some oil and vinegar and add what you'd like, small amounts at a time. You can always add more. Just keep whisking and tasting until you get the flavor you want. Same with marinades and sauces. You can do it yourself without all the preservatives and artificial colors, etc. and without extra cost. I recently visited my favorite oil and vinegar shop, Vinaigrette, and stocked up on some infused oils and vinegars; my favorite for summer is Basil Olive Oil.
4. Raid the Pantry. Sometimes everything else takes precedence over going to the grocery store. OK, so, this happens quite frequently at our house. But that's OK because I like this challenge of making a meal from the bits of this and the last of that and combining flavors and testing out ideas and theories. It's fun to take the Pantry/Fridge Meal Challenge; try it yourself sometime.
5. Eat Your Inspiration. I love cookbooks, but I rarely follow recipes. I get inspiration and ideas from reading through recipes and find information about a particular ingredient or flavor and then create my own version, based on what I have on hand or how I like to prepare a dish or my favorite flavor combinations. While I do make meals and treats from scratch and enjoy it, I don't have patience for complicated recipes with lots of ingredients; there's just no need for complication.

Just remember KISS…Keep It Simple, Sista! Simple is good and quick and fun.

I also have a few kitchen tools that I love and that make my time in the kitchen even more enjoyable. Maybe I'll share those another time. For now, I hope you feel inspired to get your creative juices flowing. And don't forget to save your compostable scraps for your garden. Over and out…

Anna

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Be Kind and Do the Right Thing {It’s Really That Simple, Isn’t it?}

What if we made decisions based on reason and good sense and because it was in the best interest for all or at least most? What then?

What would our world look like? What would we think of our leaders then? How would we feel about mankind? How would we feel about ourselves?

There are a few things that have really bothered me over the last few weeks; items from news headlines and articles. Here they are {in brief} and my thoughts on them {in brief…as brief as I can be}:

All Parents have Challenges

Gwyneth says moms with "regular" jobs working 9 to 5 have it easier than "movie stars" working 14 hours on location.

My Take: Don't compare yourself to others and their situations. You have no idea the challenges, burdens and sacrifices that another has faced or is facing. Simply be kind to others and live your own life. And if you don't like your life, take steps to change that – this goes for "movie stars" too.

I have no doubt it is challenging to be a celebrity and a mom, but it is also challenging to be "regular" mom working 9 to 5 in an office or working from home or working shifts or whatever a mom's situation is. Can we just agree it's challenging to be a mom?

Government could Save $400 Million with One Simple Change

Fourteen year-old boy comes up with a simple (& proven) way to save the federal and state governments $400 million dollars each year by changing the font in which they use for printing purposes; Times New Roman uses more ink than Garamond. By printing in Garamond, the governments would save this astronomical (to me) amount in ink costs.

My Take: This is remarkable. And yet, will the branches of government even consider such a change; a change that could mean closing the gap in other areas of their budgets or that this money could go towards more important things than ink? I doubt it. It seems that the government (federal and state) and the politicians running them are rarely interested in ways to truly be economical or do what is safer, healthier or smarter with our money. It is almost always about spending money in their districts or with their constituents or something that will benefit them personally, I am sorry to say.

But wouldn't it be great to see the government truly working with this 14 year-old and implementing this simple change?

If the government was run like a household budget, the government would most certainly try this money-saving plan.

Watch YourSELF! Don't be a Bully!

Self Magazine published a photo of two women running in a marathon wearing superhero-inspired tutus…and featured it in their BS Meter, Legit or Lame segment, calling it lame and making fun of them for wearing the tutus…one of the runners in the photo has cancer, ran while doing chemo and makes and sells the tutus to help fund a youth development program for girls…

My Take: This whole thing really smells to high heaven. They asked permission to use this photo and then proceeded to make fun of her and her friend… that's bad enough. But then, they find out she has cancer and was going through chemotherapy during the time she ran and she does good with the money she makes in selling these tutus….wow!

So, editors at Self, clearly you failed miserably on this photo, but I think you have failed overall with this whole segment. Who are you to poke fun at anyone? Even if she and her friend were simply runners, no cancer or nonprofits involved, it's not OK to make rude comments about someone. That is bullying behavior. I say ditch your BS Meter altogether.

I applaud the self-expression, and you can call me lame if you like, but anything superhero-inspired is cool in our household. And seriously, these two women were RUNNING A MARATHON! They ROCK…period!

Privacy Issues in School Bathrooms

There was a recent incident in a St. Paul school when a janitor was inappropriate in a boys bathroom.

My Take: As a mom to boys, I have often thought this is a bad idea for the men on staff to share a bathroom with the boys in the school, considering there are urinals and not just stalls. I think both boys and the male teachers/staff should have privacy in a bathroom at school. And having separate bathrooms for students and personnel affords protection from such instances, for both the adults and students. Of course, the same can be said for the girls bathrooms too, but there are at least stalls and doors, giving more privacy. And really, I'm not sure urinals without enclosures have a place in schools.

Suing Your Parents is NOT a Good Idea…EVER

A high school student sued her parents, trying to force them to pay for her college expenses. The suit was dropped and the girl moved home, fortunately.

My Take: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Clearly, this girl had lost her way somewhere and has hopefully found her path again now. There was little basis to her lawsuit. There was no evidence of abuse or neglect. Instead, it appeared to be a case of a girl not wanting to follow her parents' rules (which by reports from her parents were not terribly restricting) and leaving home on her own accord to live with a friend's family once she turned 18, but wanting her parents to continue to fund her life.

This friend's father was an attorney. It sounds like he talked her into suing her parents for her Catholic high school tuition payment and college living expenses for the next year. This is very unfortunate, it not only put attorneys in a bad light yet again, it also makes the girl look like a spoiled rotten, greedy brat (which may not have been the case at all) and these shenanigans cost all involved a great deal of expense and energy and heartache….all for nothing.

Usually simply talking out a problem is a good and cheap solution to most familial issues.

These are the headlines that have been knocking around in my head lately. And now you know my take on them. Over and out…

Anna

 

 

 

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Signs of the Season {A Spring Break List}

On Sunday, we went on our first "Search for Signs of Spring" stroll of this year; there will be many to follow in the next few weeks and months. We do this every year, starting sometime in March, usually; that time when you start to think that winter will never end and snow will cover the ground forever. We usually start at our local nature center, Woodlake; a bit of woods smack in the middle of the city.

Admittedly, it's a bit early for finding signs of spring here in Minnesota, especially this year, considering the winter we've had, but we use broad definitions and look for anything that tells us winter is coming to a close. And we found a few of those indicators yesterday.

Will and I walked through the packed-snow covered trails while the boys went off-trail and plodded along in the deep snow, looking for animal prints and scat and any signs of spring. They joyfully called to us as they found a deer print or presumed coyote scat or saw a bird high up in the trees, singing its heart out.

There were lots of families out skiing, strolling and snowshoeing through the woods. It was a beautiful day, actually reaching the 40s and yet snow is still quite available for winter sport.

We noted drips of water coming off downed trees that they shimmied up and leapt off of. We saw the happy chickadees singing and flitting from branch to branch high above our heads. We delighted in seeing the sap bags attached to the Maples; this week should be perfect for getting the sap running. We stomped in puddles and slush. And we talked about the mulberries we like to pick and eat in the summer as we walked past those now leafless trees. 

It gave us hope to see these changes in the landscape, and it got me to thinking about Spring Break.

I love Spring Break because it was always such a magical time for me as a kid; a kid who always hated school. And as a kid, the week seemed to last forever!

We never went on any big trips or did anything extravagant, but it was a time to work on projects or play games or read or watch movies and just be. For a person who does not do well with schedules, this week of no scheduled events or times to be somewhere was delightful in and of itself.

Since becoming a mom with kids in school, I still look forward to Spring Break. We love to do things around the house, but the mini adventures out and about are also something to look forward to. So, here is my list of 30 things to do on Spring Break, just in case you are stuck in planning yours. Of course, I don't anticipate doing all of them; after all, that would take scheduling and I simply do not schedule this week.

1. Make Oobleck; my son did this at school and wanted to do it at home too and even drew out the recipe and process for us; seems like a Spring Break kind of thing to do;
2. Make a Peep diorama; anyone can enter the St. Paul Pioneer Press contest;
3. Go to the cheap movies; for us that is Riverview Theater in Minneapolis. We love the feel of this old one screen theater…and you can't beat the price of $2 a ticket.
4. Go to the zoo;
5. Go bowling;
6. Go ice skating; probably indoors for better ice. It's off-season for hockey, but we still have to keep up with skating.
7. Go roller skating; just for a change of pace;
8. Go to the arboretum; and for us that means the Maple Syrup Tours and Pancake Brunch;
9. Paint pictures; not my favorite thing to do with my boys….it can get very messy;
10. Declare a Lego Day and simply build and design with Legos all day;
11. Go to a museum or art center;
12. Have a dance party in your living room; any attire is acceptable;
13. Bake cupcakes for no reason other than it's SPRING BREAK!
14. Declare a book day; take turns reading out loud to each other and then everyone can read his or her book quietly…this way mama can read the book of her choosing too;
15. Go to a Nature Center; look for signs of spring…or maybe summer, depending on where you live;
16. Write a book together and illustrate it; Creative Kidstuff has some great bound blank books and comic books for this activity;
17. Spend the whole day in your jammies watching movies on Netflix or from your own dvd stash…maybe watch all of the Star Wars movies or all the Harry Potter movies; order Jimmy John's for lunch. This one is especially good if the weather is foul.
18. Have a tea party; yes, even if you have boys. I love tea parties and the best part is making the food for it; boys like food, especially if they have a hand in making it;
19. Play ball….soccer, baseball, basketball, football, tennis, golf, whatever….assuming you don't have snow on the ground or have a place to play inside;
20. Have a Family Movie Night and make or order pizza and stay up late watching movies together…no school in the morning…;
21. Play in the remaining snow…assuming there is any left (wishful thinking, folks) and then make a big pot of hot cocoa…not instant…with marshmallows…for the last time this season.
22. Declare it Game Day and play card games and board games all day;
23. Walk to a park and play on the playground; again, assuming there aren't mounds and mounds of snow on the ground…it has to melt sometime, right?
24. Explore a part of town you haven't before; shops, restaurants, activities, etc.;
25. Sign your kid(s) up for a day program offered through the city or school or museum in your area; by this point, the kids {& mom} have probably reached their limits of "family time." Give everyone a break;
26. If close to Easter; dye eggs and stuff plastic ones and do egg hunts inside and/or outside;
27. Go to the dollar store and find some cheap activities/games/toys. Each person gets $4 to spend;
28. Hang out at a coffee shop for a few hours, each person with his or her own electronic device. It gets you out of the house, around other people and you can each have a bit of space while being together; this week is lasting forever;
29. Plan absolutely nothing and see where the week takes you; and
30. If you have done all of these things, start over again with #1…the week won't last forever and the kids grow and will have plans of their own before we know it. So, I will be trying to remember this and soaking up every minute that I can!

Happy Spring Break….whenever yours is! Over and out…

Anna

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5 Things {On My Bookshelf}

I have a lot of books in my home. In fact, there are books in every room. I like books; not the kind that take up no space with no bindings or pages and lay hidden inside an electronic gadget. No, I like real, tangible books with pages that can be turned and folded and marked up.

I like the feel of a book in my hand and the musty, dusty smell of old books which have been undisturbed for many seasons. I like the outside covers of books and the printed insides and the dedication pages and the publication dates.

I suppose I'm old-fashioned in this way, but I'm OK with it.

I also like old-fashioned books; that is to say, I am quite fond of the classics. I love to revisit books that I have not read since I was child being read to by my mother or as a high school student or in college. It's always so interesting to see how I feel about a book or the circumstances of the story or how I view a particular scene as an adult in comparison to my child self.

This is no trouble since I have kept many of my books over the years. I simply peruse my book shelves, going room to room, until I settle upon a title. Some books are well-loved and well-worn, such as my beloved Jane Eyre. Some books have stood on my shelves for years, but have yet to be read. One day…one day…

During this long, cold winter; one filled with illnesses and days stuck inside I have had more of a chance to read and rediscover forgotten volumes. So, here are 5 books on my shelf, either just read or patiently waiting in line soon to be read and a few that are picked up from time to time with a passage or two read here and there.

1. Selected Poems by Robert Frost. Robert Frost has long been my favorite poet. I remember as a child of about 8 or 9 choosing volumes of Robert Frost at the library; I loved the words and how he strung them together. 

   Of course, whatever I understood of them then, has changed. And really poetry changed for me when I took a course on Modern Poetry. Ironically, it was one of my worst grades in English, and I took a lot of English classes, but it's one that has really stuck with me. 

2. The Art of War by Sun Tzu. I found this book at Barnes & Noble in Chicago when Will and I were there in December. It was raining and blowing and cold and we were walking back to our condo and ducked in to escape the dreary weather outside for a bit. I have always loved spending leisurely time in book stores with no particular errand in mind. 

   I found a kindred spirit as I traversed the stack of books on a display declaring there was a gift for everyone on your list right there. We chatted as we had to keep moving out of each other's way. I, with a stack of books in hand, and he, with a stack of books in hand, – none for gifts, but for our own libraries. He said how he loved books like this on all sorts of subjects and bits of information; I agreed with him. I later heard his wife/girlfriend questioning a few of his choices and he defending his need/desire to read about math and psychology and poetry. I think he won the argument; after all, the books were quite reasonably prices for quick and easy gift giving.

   But Barnes & Noble aside, The Art of War is such a fascinating and wonderful book. I am convinced it should be on the reading list of all law schools, business schools and military academies, at the least. There is such truth and beauty and calculated savagery and simplicity and complexity all at once in this ancient writing. This shall surely be a book that I often refer to and adhere to. 

3. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I am reading this now. I have never been a Jane Austen fan. I know this is surprising, if you know me, and know that I adore Jane Eyre. But to be fair, Charlotte Bronte and Jane Austen have very different styles of writing, it just happens to be from around the same period and in the same country. 

   However, I will say, for the first time, I am enjoying this book. I have had the volume since high school, but have never gotten all the way through it. I had the same realization years ago when I read the Tale of Two Cities as an adult. As an 8^th grader, none of it had meant anything to me and had been rather boring. As an adult, I completely fell for the book. 

4. The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien. This book came to me this summer in a stack of books my grandmother had discarded. I picked it up out of curiosity and couldn't put it down. It was like nothing I had ever read before. It pulled me in and made me feel everything his characters were feeling. I had the same experience several years ago when I stumbled across Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking at a garage sale. These are books that will stay with me always.
5. Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson. This is a book that I had not read since my mom read it to me and my brother when I was around 9 or 10 years old. We loved books of adventure and Robert Louis Stevenson was one of our favorites. I read this book quickly because I started while I was in bed sick with strep and an ear infection.

   I loved the complexity of the characters and the political divisions that added to the story. As a child, I picked up on the excitement of the situations and the adventure of it all, but as an adult I understand the relationships between the characters and all the subplots involving historical events.

My 7 year-old and I have been reading The Hobbit together, after his 5 year-old brother has fallen asleep. We are almost finished with this volume now. He so enjoys the adventure and characters in this novel. I will not be surprised if he requests that we begin the Lord of the Rings series once we get through this book.

I do love reading to my kids. It was always something my mom and brother and I loved to do too. We read all kinds of classics and series and adventures…so long as there was no cruelty to animals or kids. I simply could not take it; so, no David Copperfield; no Call of the Wild; no Black Beauty. I have still to this day never read those books, and I don't plan to either.

What's on your book shelf? What books do you enjoy reading with your kids? Over and out…

Anna

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5 Things {Minnesotans Do}

At midday today it was 15 degrees above zero. That's a big change; the above zero part. And the wind chill was a mere 5 below zero.

The sun was shining. The air was crisp and fresh and didn't hurt my lungs when I took a deep breath. I stood outside with no hat, no coat, no gloves with my face upturned, soaking in that precious sunlight. I could feel the warmth and sense the bright, dizzying rays of light dancing on my closed eyelids, rejuvenating my pasty, winter shell.

I could hear the kids at the school a block over from our house happily playing outside during recess; a first in recent days. Their happy shouts and joyful voices were easy to discern in the crisp air.

The birds were singing gleeful melodies in the tree branches.

It is a beautiful day here in the Twin Cities of Minnesota.

Before we moved to the Midwest almost 14 years ago, I would have laughed at such a statement on day such as this. But when you have just come through days of dangerously cold temperatures and wind chills and piercing winds, you come to see the beauty in a clear, bright, still, above zero day.

It made me chuckle to myself when I thought about some of the things that Minnesotans do that those living in the southern states would not understand. Here are a few:

1. We take our shoes off at the door; at our homes and at those that we are guests. Even wee toddlers know this custom. (Of course, we do this year round; it's just polite.)
2. We go outside ON PURPOSE when the sun is shining and temperatures are not life threatening. At school, the official rule is that there will be outside recess unless the temps are -10 or below.
3. We have breezeways or mud rooms or whole areas of a room dedicated to skates, boots, hats, gloves, snow pants, coats, mittens, etc., along with a stash of sleds, snow toys, snow shoes, skis, etc. for 5 months or more of the year. And you know to add a good 20 or 30 minutes to getting you and your kids out the door, if full winter gear is required.
4. We "scoop" our driveways and sidewalks. Before we moved to the Midwest, we "shoveled" any snow that fell, but here we scoop. Of course, most don't scoop, but own behemoth snow blowers or have plows attached to the front of their trucks.
5. We go about our lives, barring a polar vortex of -3589 degree wind chills (perhaps I am exaggerating a bit on the number), a blizzard or rare ice storm.

Of course, Minnesotans don't go along doing these things with a smile on their lips and a song in their hearts. No, they wouldn't be Minnesotans if they did that (think Grumpy, Old Men). But when we have a beautiful day like today after days of frigid cold, Minnesotans open the blinds and stand in the sun and feel a bit of happiness. After all, we are one day closer to the glorious Minnesota summer. Over and out…

Anna

Express Yourself {Why I Let My Kids Write on Their Walls and Furniture}

I let my kids color, mark and write on their bedroom walls, their door and furniture. Yep. It's true. And I am happy to allow this.

They take advantage of this opportunity too. There are stickers, words, drawings and lines on their bunk bed, the door and the walls.

The bed, a basic, raw wood bunk bed and the back of the door have taken the brunt of their artistic inclinations. Their names are inscribed in several locations. "FBI" and "spy" emblazoned on the sides of the bed by my espionage-loving 7 year-old.

There are renditions of Angry Birds and stick figures and guns and swords and Sonic the Hedgehog and perhaps there's a Mario and Luigi in the mix too.

They use crayons, pencils, pens and markers.

It matters not to me. As long as they keep it within the confines of their room.

Here's why I let them do this:

1. My mom allowed my brother and me the freedom to markup our own rooms. We turned out to be creative, intelligent, well-mannered adults who do not deface other's property. I always liked this about my mom;
2. I can paint a wall, a door, a piece of furniture, if and when, I need to. I DO NOT buy designer furniture for any room in our house. We like pieces with character that can be sanded and repainted or refinished and repurposed. And I live with boys, dogs and cats. I don't want to be constantly worrying about my furniture.
3. Everyone should have control over their own spaces and the freedom to "decorate" it as they wish;
4. Everyone, especially kids, need to express themselves and the space to do so;
5. They do not mark on furniture, walls, doors, etc. outside of their bedroom. They know they shouldn't and they don't. They are careful and respectful of all my delicate, breakable, heirloom, and much-loved pieces throughout the rest of the house.

So, their room looks like a boy room with their art, science projects, books, weapons, toys, stuffed animals and markings. It's their space. They appreciate this freedom in their room.

You may not agree with my methods. That's fine. But I will ask you this…Do you allow your kids the space to be?

The space to be may take a different form than writing on the walls; there are many ways to express one's self. What's important is to have the space, both figuratively and physically.

Creativity and imagination is so easily wrung out of youngsters. I choose to foster creativity and imagination, even if that means marked up bunk beds, forever finding mini movies on my phone and camera shot by my boys, dedicating an old dresser to dress-up clothes or stockpiling arts and crafts supplies for any type of creative endeavor they dream up. Over and out…

Anna

5 Thing You Should Know {in a Culture That Tends to Overshare, Go on Tirades and Judge Each Other}

People are downright ugly to each other lately. It's a trend that I am not on board with. I love discussions. I look forward to a good argument. But I will NOT name call or curse or be cruel. And I don't think anyone else should either.

I rarely read comments following articles, especially articles that could strike a hostile chord in some, but when I do, I am absolutely appalled at the rudeness and crudeness of many. Even following relatively benign posts on Facebook, I have found shockingly ugly comments hurled at other commenters or at the author of the original statement.

This practice upsets me and gives me pause when I think about our culture that fears nothing, posts everything and thinks they can get away with it all. Not surprisingly, people have begun to pursue legal action over comments, even anonymous ones, and are winning on claims of defamation.

While that is another story for another time, today I'd like to share some simple ideas about pleasant online discussions.

1. Some people like cats….some don't. Not everyone agrees with you all the time. Don't assume all your friends are on the same page politically, religiously, financially or on pets, parenting, the environment, football teams, seasons, fashion, nutrition or humor…..or anything else.
2. Not everyone has to like cats. We can agree to disagree and still be friends. Don't cut ties with friends who have other ideas about things. You can politely engage in an open discourse of various opinions, but leave the conversation if it gets heated. What's the point? You aren't going to change your friend's mind, but you may lose a friend or two in the process.
3. Be Polite to the Crazy Cat Lady. Use the manners your mama taught you. If you wouldn't say it to someone face-to-face, don't say it online. And if you can't say anything nice; don't say anything at all. It's that simple!
4. Don't Trust the Cheshire Cat. Not everything you see online is true. Much of that which is shared over and over and over just isn't true. Really! So, don't fall victim to believing or sharing information that is entirely rhetoric in favor of a particular position or is merely made up nonsense. Be smart. Do your own research and come to your own conclusions.
5. What's the Reason for the Subtitle Examples using Cats? No reason at all. It just came to mind. It's perfectly fine to report about a wonderful lunch with friends or a disappointing day at work or a triumphant workout or a parent fail or funny or about the soup recipe you are trying for dinner or about your fabulous new boots. It doesn't have to matter or make sense to everyone in your feed or on your friend list….just like the cat subtitles. Your friends will care what you have to say, regardless of what it is. After all, it's our new way of connecting and having conversations and building relationships with friends near and far. So, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And you never know what conversations you might have over dark chocolate v. milk chocolate chips or stripes v. patterned tights with brown boots or the type of medication to best treat an upset tummy. It all matters and none of it matters…to someone.

So, please think before you post. Edit when you need to. Delete, if necessary. But do speak your mind and assert your ideas; there is always a polite way of saying it. Over and out…

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {On Making Lists}

Lists…I make them all the time. I have lists on my computer, on my calendar, stuck in my calendar, on the kitchen counter, on the fridge, in drawers, in purses and in my car. I have lists for lists and lists on lists. I love lists. There are several reasons I make lists.

One reason is to order and number the thoughts in my head; the things I need to buy at the store, errands to run, tasks to accomplish, etc. Another reason I make lists is for my husband's benefit…since he either doesn't know how to make a list or thinks he can remember his assigned tasks without a list {he can't}.

What I have found over the years as a chronic list maker is this

1. Lists are effective only if someone reads them….that doesn't always happen, especially if the notes are for my husband;
2. I often don't even need my list once I have written it out because somehow the exercise of writing it out cements it into my mind;
3. Lists do not keep me on task or give me structure…only the semblance of structure;
4. Lists made on Knock, Knock brand notepads are the most fun to make and often the most helpful (you should definitely check out this brand); and
5. Lists made on Post-it notes are the least restrictive; used in a calendar, at day's end when all didn't go according to plan, they can be replaced by new, rewritten notes without making a mess of your calendar. And sometimes post-its can be used for impromptu messages to be stuck anywhere, as is the case with the post-it in the photo. And yes, I prefer actual 3M brand post-its.

Are you a list maker? If so, do you agree with this list? If not, give a try and see if it changes your efficiency and/or effectiveness {talking to you, Will}. Over and out…

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {This is Serious!}

I haven't touched on this subject in a while. It's not because I'm not seriously passionate about this topic, but simply because I feel that if I harp on it too much, you'll stop paying attention. I'm a parent…I know how these things work.

But here's the gosh darn truth…your kids are watching you. What are you teaching them about this ultra-important issue? Your child will one day drive on his or her own…the decisions he or she makes will most likely reflect what you have taught by example.

Not a parent? Keep reading…this information applies to anyone with a driver's license.

Here are 5 Things You Should Know about Distracted Driving:

1. Kids are walking to school and waiting at bus stops in the mornings now….you can't always see them very well when the sun is rising, big and bright. It is especially hard to see pedestrians when you are looking at your phone or concentrating on having a conversation with a person on the other end of the line and are also blinded by light.
2. If you see a person texting or otherwise obviously distracted and driving recklessly, please get the license plate number of that vehicle and pull over and call 911. Texting and/or using handheld devices while driving is illegal in many cities and states; reckless, negligent, distracted driving is illegal in every state, regardless of the cause. You could save a lives by taking action.
3. It is NOT efficient use of one's time to make or take calls or text or receive texts or check Facebook or Twitter or email while operating a vehicle. It is dangerous for you, as the driver, for any passengers in your vehicle and all the vehicles around you. Don't be tempted by this pitfall.
4. Be responsible. Not only should you not text or talk on the phone while driving, but you also must not take phone calls or answer texts from people who are driving. If it's clear that the person on the call is driving, simply explain your position by saying something along these lines. "Oh, it sounds like you are on the road right now. I'd be glad to talk to you once you get to your destination or at another time that is convenient to you when you are not driving." If it's clear to you that the person is texting you while on the road, simply do not reply.
5. Would you drink too much alcohol and drive your car? Would you allow your teenager to driver drunk? Would you let your kid bounce around the backseat, as we used to do as kids? Would you drive without your seat belt on?

When we will begin to view distracted driving involving cell phones to be as dangerous as drinking and driving or driving without proper restraints?

There was a time that driving without seat belts or car seats was considered perfectly fine. There was a time that people were not concerned about drinking too much alcohol and getting behind the wheel. Times change. I think distracted driving will eventually be recognized for what it is; too risky to be allowed.

Distracted driving due to cell phone use claims many lives each year. In 2011, 3,331 were killed in automobile accidents due to distracted driving. An additional 387,000 people suffered injuries in accidents due to distracted drivers.

It all happens in a blink of an eye. I have yet to receive a text or Facebook message or voicemail or email or phone call that was anywhere near being as important as my life, my kids' lives or lives of the strangers that share the roadways with me. How about you?

Please join me in my crusade against talking or texting while driving. Phone Down. Eyes Up. It's really very simple. Simple Stop. Over and out…

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {Advice from a Faux Fashionista}

I certainly do not know everything about fashion (and you may think I know very little about fashion), but I like to look good and feel good about what I wear, and I'm very observant of others and catalogs, etc.

I love Color, and yet it seems that I also own a number of black tops for every season. My wardrobe is not extensive, but lately I have been having fun getting creative coming up with different combinations of the clothes in my closet plus a couple of new staple pieces.

This can really help to shake up your day-to-day look. Trust me! And this is something that should be done at least once a season...if you ask me, your "Faux Fashionista."

I know that it's easy to get into the routine of grabbing the same pants or shorts or skirt and the same top week after week, but with a little planning and thought, you, too, can be a "Faux Fashionista!" These are my 5 tips for re-awakening your fall wardrobe:

1. Get Good Underpinnings. This is important. Don't skip this step. I didn't realize how important until I got new undergarments recently. Thanks to my friend, Sarah, for recommending a great bra.
2. Find a Go-To Piece in a Go-To Color Each Season. This is essential and fun. I just found my Fall Color....it's mustard. Don't worry if the color you pick is not the color the fashion experts choose. Just go with your gut and wear it with confidence. But I'm telling you, mustard goes with so many colors and is such a great fall color. And speaking of color, don't be afraid to add it to your outfit. You can mix colors and patterns in an interesting way or go basic with a punch of color (the shoes or accessory or purse or jacket, etc.). My favorite colors to add hot pink, turquoise, orange, red and yellow.
   
3. Don't be Afraid to Shop the Discount Rack. I have been known to shop at Goodwill and find a fantastic deal on a name brand, but most often the discount racks I'm perusing are at Target and Land's End. I recently bought a dress (full price) at Target, and I get compliments every time I wear it. It's my little secret that it came from Target.
4. Have a Few Signature Pieces of Jewelry /Accessories. Those who know me know that I have 2 signature accessories....scarves and hats...not always together though. I also love earrings and brooches. I only rarely wear necklaces though because I so rarely think my neck looks good in them. Now a scarf...it's so versatile in hot and cold and casual and dressy and can really tie together an outfit. I also like colorful shoes and purses and bracelets. Whatever your signature pieces are wear them with panache.
5. Buy a Couple of High End Pieces. Every once in a while it's worth a splurge, especially if that splurge is a little black dress or jacket or other foundation piece. These classic pieces usually last for years with a little care. Of course, if you are still wearing "classic" jackets with shoulder pads in big floral prints, it might be time to get rid of it, but then again they might be coming back in style too....at least, they will eventually...

So, the keys to wardrobe success for this "Faux Fashionista" are as follows: Solid Foundation, Bold and Beautiful Colors and Patterns, Signature Accessories and Clothes you Love (whether discounted or full price).

And honestly, no matter what you are wearing, if you do it with confidence (and it fits you properly and it's in good taste), you can't go wrong. Sometimes, this is something I need to remember too. What are your wardrobe essentials? Over and out....

Anna

**Note the photo is from last Dec, but you can see my liberal use of colors and patterns, along with my signature accessories; a hat and scarf. Also Note that I live in MN and about half the year a warm hat and scarf are appropriate, if not necessary, items of apparel. 

5 Things You Should Know {From the Road...Home}

Well, it's been a fabulous two and half weeks filled with lots of cousins, food, sand, water, lots of cousins, rockets and shuttles, sun, historical places, lots of cousins and miles and miles of roads through 6 states.

Each year, the trip does get easier with my boys. I love our tradition of striking out for Texas and spending time with family and showing them what my childhood looked like. I have already been making notes for next summer's trip.

So, here are 5 things to think about should you take a summer road trip with your kiddos...which I definitely think you should, whether it's for 3 days or 3 weeks!

1. Stop when you want to...to take photos, to eat, for a break, to take a look. I always know how far along the road I want to get each day and have set arrangements for where we will sleep each night, but there is always time to stop at roadside fruit stands or shops or cafes or parks or museums, etc. You never know when you will have the chance again, at least that's my philosophy; so, stop when you have the inclination. The boys and I like to stop at state welcome centers and peruse the brochures for area attractions, and we watch for signs about local attractions too.
2. Experience new things. ... whether it's food or an area or an activity or something else. Definitely step out of your comfort zone and try new things when you are on the road. We try to avoid chain restaurants as much as possible at all times, but especially while traveling. And, again, look for things that are new and different to you or your region of the world. It's sure to be a memorable experience.
3. Relax the rules as much as possible...while traveling; it's easy to get into a crazy meal and bedtime schedule, and I'm OK with that. If you aren't, then, that's not a rule to relax, but our family flies by the seats of our pants every day, but especially while traveling. What's hard is visiting others and staying in their homes. Everyone has different rules and rarely are the house rules posted; so, do the best you can.
4. Get souvenirs...we buy souvenirs. It's fun, and I think it's an important part of visiting and exploring wherever you are in the world. It certainly doesn't have to be big and expensive. My 7 year old likes to collect pins from places we visit and then stick them on his backpack. I happen to like the kitschy coffee mugs...my "travel" mugs are some of my favorite...really! And I like to pick up a few post cards too. Not much, but something to remember the experience and the place.
5. Enjoy it....these are things that memories are made of. Sometimes we get so caught up in the rush to get somewhere or the logistics of the trip or the schedule of events that we forget to be present in the moment and enjoy where we are and what weare doing and whom we are with. On Tuesday, on Part 1 of our way home, we drove only 45 minutes before spending 2.5 hours at the U.S. Army Field Artillery Museum, which meant we would drive in the dark and arrive late to our hotel, but it was worth it because we enjoyed our time, didn't rush and it was a great place to visit at Fort Sill in Lawton, OK; a place I have driven past numerous times over the past 16 years and never stopped.

Our haul on this trip: peaches, a watermelon, 2 honeys from 2 different areas of Texas, souvenirs from the beach, from the Johnson Space Center, an old general store, from the U.S. Army Artillery Museum and from the Texas State Capitol, plus many wonderful memories of playing with cousins at the lake, at the beach, at Bebe's and Papa's and at a cousin's wedding and lots and lots of photos, including quite a few of millions of bats flying out from S. Congress bridge in Austin, TX. We have several things to check off of our summer bucket list.

What are you doing this summer? Over and out...

Anna

Year 3: Day 2 #SummerRoadTrip {Tips for Getting Out on the Road for Your Very Own #SummerRoadTrip}

One ought to leave home and explore the country as often as he can. Driving through states provides an opportunity to take mental snapshots of the landscape like giant wide-angle lenses on a camera to be recalled at some other point in time and meet the people and hear their unique dialects and any local charm that they may or may not possess.

One ought to be one with the land as often as possible; to feel the gentle rolling of the terrain or the twists and turns that yield new sweeping views of the landscape with each summit; to hear the roar of the unfettered wind whipping through the tall prairie grasses; to see the carefree calf playfully running and kicking up his heels in the valley far below the highway.

Today, we finished the first leg of our summer trek to Texas. In the two days of driving we saw license plates from 34 different states and 2 different Canadian provinces; we saw 3 deer, 2 dead and 1 running wild in a meadow; I sang along with Vampire Weekend, Imagine Dragons, Shania Twain and Celine Dion; we discussed what it would be like to travel this route without a highway in a covered wagon and talked about the various battles fought in our country and the reasons for those battles and what it was like to live the life of a Native American; we traveled through 5 states, arriving in the 6^th state on Monday night.

Each year of this family tradition, this trip gets easier for me, as a solo parent for a few weeks. The first year I struck out my younger son was still in pull-ups and not inclined to sitting for long periods of time tightly strapped into his seat. Last year, there was much bickering between the brothers and consequently, a crabby mama. This year, so far....dare I say it...the elder Berend Brother has been helpful and placid and kept the peace and the younger held it together pretty well considering we have spent 17 hours in the car together in the last two days.

My boys are even remembering our route and certain stops or landmarks or experiences from the past two years of driving through these places. And regardless of the arguments or frustrations along the way, we are making memories; memories that I hope last a lifetime and create new memories with new generations and new routes and traditions.

So, if you are thinking about striking out with two parents or just one, I say DO IT! It may be hard the first year or two or it may be quite easy, but it will be worth the memories and traditions.

Here are the 5 things I found helpful in planning and executing my annual adventure on the road with my kids:

1. Plot out your route and make a hotel reservation for each day/night. Even if you are a fly by the seat of your pants kind of gal or guy, when kids are involved you better have a starting and ending place in mind...for each day. Then, when they ask, "Are we there yet?" and they will, you will have an answer for them and a place to rest your weary head each night.
2. Have lots of snacks in a bag sitting in the front seat with you for easy grabbing and handing out to hungry/cranky/restless/tired/whatever kids sitting behind you. I like to stash little plastic IKEA bowls in the snack bag for easy filling and handing. Snack Ideas: applesauce pouches, pirate booty, dried fruit, trail mix, M&Ms, etc.
3. Plan to stop about every two hours for a quick break at the bathrooms (or more if potty training, etc) a run around the visitor center and/or mini adventure at a local spot. I like to plot these out too with a bit of researching before the trip;
4. Be prepared for the, "Mom, I'm bored!" "Are we there yet?" and other common cliché type, but very real questions! Pack a bag/backpack for each child (or if they are older, have said kids pack the bags themselves, as I did this year. However, not sure that worked since one kid packed all stuffed animals.} Include a variety {that's the part he forgot} of books, figures, cars, pens/pencils/markers/crayons, stickers, paper, coloring books, favorite small toys, etc. Then, when they say," MOOOOOMMMMM! I'm BORED!" and they will, you can remind them of this stash of toys!
5. Keep it simple and retro by planning to stop at state rest stops and visitor centers and eat a picnic for your meals while traveling on the road. Many of the states we drive through have wonderful, modern, clean rest stops. Iowa even provides free wifi at each of its rest stops, and there is often a small play area for kids and some even have fenced dog parks. As for the picnic, I like to pack fresh fruits, veggies and crackers and chicken salad or a wrap or sandwich. Again, think ahead and have a bag or plastic container with plates, napkins, utensils, etc with easy access to items that must be kept cold.
6. OK...one more...Don't be afraid to get off the road and explore when you see something that catches your eye or interest. You never know you may find a gem or discover a place you never have to stop at again. We've experienced both...

The key is simplicity, even if my totally packed mini doesn't look very simple....it is...in my complicated mind. Get out on the road! We start Leg #2 on Wednesday. Over and out...

Anna

5 Things I’m Loving this Summer....and I Thought You Should Know

My summer is just barely getting started, but I am trying to soak up every last bit of fun, even on these days that I am slaving away towards my work deadline! And there are a few things I am loving this summer.

This is a varied list of functionality, style, taste and convenience (with lots of photos):

1. Basil Olive Oil and Strawberry Balsamic Vinegar from Vinaigrette. OK, well, really just about any of their combinations of oils and vinegars from Italian Herb to Hot Jalapeno to Lemon to Raspberry to Lime to 18 Year Balsamic so thick and sweet and delicious you could just drink it! DO visit Vinaigrette if you're in the Twin Cities area. Choosing your flavors is as much fun as using them. The proprietor is lovely to talk to and is quick to pull together flavor combos that will suit your tastes with a row of little plastic cups for your literal tasting. Here, you can taste before you buy, and you can choose from several different sizes of bottles too.
2. $2 movies at Riverview Theater. I'm a sucker for a cheap movie. And this theater has retro style too. There is just one screen in this tiny theater tucked into a southeast Minneapolis neighborhood. So, there are just a few showings per day, but they offer something appropriate for the kiddos during the daylight hours, which is when I've gone. But it would be a perfect date night locale too, considering there's a coffee shop and wine bar kitty corner to the theater.
3. Urban Halos. I have only one, and have had it for a few years, but I am planning to get another one before I head to Texas for a lakeside family reunion and then on to a gulf coast beach house retreat. These urban halos are part scarf, part headband, part bandana. You can wear them in several different ways, depending on your hair and your style. One of the great things about this halo is that it does not cause a headache from the pressure as so many headbands do. This one slips on your head and holds your hair in place very easily. I was just using it this week after an evening at the pool with my kiddos. I think my next one will be Color Me Crazy – each one come with a fun moniker.
4. My Wonder Woman high-sided tray from Target. This tray is just too much fun to be passed up. I knew I'd find uses for it. Just recently I toted it out to Lake Harriet for a band shell concert picnic. It was perfect for setting up our smorgasbord on the quilt. The high sides were especially nice protection for our cups of wine and lime infused water. It was large enough for a beautiful array of food, berries, fresh veggies, rosemary Marcona almonds, hummus, sweet potato chips, beurre meuniere popcorn, a salami and white cheddar; that was our spread.
5. My Infinity Scarf from Anthropologie. Anyone that knows me quickly comes to realize I am slightly obsessed with scarves; winter scarves, summer scarves, knitted scarves, printed scarves, solid scarves, long scarves, short scarves and scarves with no end. Well, I usually don't shop at Anthropologie because of the prices {even though I love how inspiring and beautiful the store and their items are}, but I made an exception and decided that this scarf should be mine. It's beautiful and colorful and light and will go with just about anything I have in my closet! {Justified!} So, if you see me this summer, I may just be wearing this scarf.

OK, there are 6....and Bradley Cooper! Enough said!

And no, I don't get paid to promote. These are just my summer picks of the things I will be loving all summer! What are yours?

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {Before You Start Your Summer}

I have a memory of a summer day in south Texas. My brother and I spent the day at a family friend's house. I don't know why this memory stands out so much, but it is always easily retrieved from my mental files when I think of summer and sun and swimming.

They had big above ground pool and deck. We were in the pool almost the whole day. We got out for lunch. We had bologna and mayo sandwiches on white bread. I remember this because we never ate bologna at home. After lunch we got back in the pool and swam the afternoon away.

The sun was hot and bright and my skin was pale. I can still feel and taste and smell that day in my mind.

It wasn't until later in the evening when I had gone home and gotten out of the sun and out of my swim suit that my skin turned red and hot and tender. I looked like a lobster. I don't think I'd had sunscreen on at all that day. It certainly wasn't the only time I was sunburned; it was the mid-80s, we weren't so cautious of the damage that sun can cause, but for some reason that day stands out.

Summer means fun and pools and hot sun soaking into our pale-of-a -vampire skin and sprinklers and baseball games and lakes and lemonade and sand and concerts by the lake and picnics and golf and these things warrant a quick summer safety reminder course.

Over the past three years, I've written a number of posts on summer safety, including pool hazards, sunburns and sunscreens, water safety, bike helmets and more.

Life happens in an instant, and my philosophy is that it's better to be prepared when it does. So, before you go out and start your summer, please do read through these posts and visit ewg.org to check your sunscreen too.

5 Things You Should Read Before You Start Your Summer:

1. Pool Safety: The Overly Cautious Traveler: Must Read Pool Safety Tips. Good tips, and you'll get a kick out of my paranoid side too; Distracted Vigilance: Tips for Preventing Drownings. Don't use your phone {for any purpose} while you're supposed to be watching kids in the water....
2. Sun: Sunburn...I Mean Summer Memories: Tips for Playing it Safe in the Sun. We definitely need some sun for Vitamin D, but too much is not a good thing; What's Your SPF? The Dangers of Sunscreen {be sure to check your brand at www.ewg.org.
3. Bikes: Spring Fling: Getting the Properly Fitting Bike Helmet {with Video}. This is important, folks! ; Blessed Bikes: Rules of the Road. Do you know the bike laws when it comes to being a biker and being a driver?
4. Heat: Not Even for a Minute: Children Left Unattended in Vehicles.This is also serious, folks! And another take on this subject: Soapbox: Hot Cars and Free-Range Parenting.
5. Travel: Flying with Kids? Great; it can be a wonderful adventure, but be sure you are prepared: The Well Packed Bag: Regulations Regarding Air Travel with Kids; Control Freak: Tips for Safe and Happy Traveling with Kids. Have fun!

You have now completed Summer 2013 Orientation....GO OUT AND ADVENTURE! Over and out....

Anna

5 Things You Should Know {On Breaking Things}

Just because something is so, doesn't mean it always will be or should be. And just as there are things you should follow, there are also some things you should break. Often, breaking means breaking free from shackles that are holding you back from following those things you wish to pursue and wish to be. Don't be afraid to break things, especially #4. Breaking these things will only empower you and build character. If you don't break some things, it will be you who ends up broken in the end.

Here is my list of 5 things you should break:

1. Your Heart...at least a couple dozen times or more. Your heart can break over romances that end. Your heart can break over romances that seem doomed, but are recovered. Your heart can break upon the death of a dearly loved one. Your heart will break a thousand times or more once you become a parent. But our hearts have a way of mending themselves, wearing the scars as badges of a life well-lived and forging ahead.
2. Social Norms. Just because it's always been done this way or because it's the proper thing to do, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do or the only way of doing it. We are an evolving world. We must learn from our mistakes. We must have the courage to speak up for what we believe is right.
3. The Glass Ceiling. It's still there. Whether it's age, gender, sexual orientation, race or something else, that illusory cap does not have to stop you. It will if you let it. It's up to you to crack it and break through or maybe you'll be the one to shatter it for good.
4. Big Chocolate Bars. It's a good idea to keep a stash of chocolate...in case of emergencies. And if you break a giant bar into lots of smaller pieces it will last longer and the guilt will be lessened. I speak from experience here.
5. Bad Habits. Uh...it's just a coincidence that this point follows 4. Big Chocolate Bars....Really! If you do have a bad habit that negatively affects you or your family or is getting in the way of pursuing your dreams, it's time to say enough is enough and seek help. One thing to recognize though is that it must be you who decides it's time to put a stop to the bad habit. If someone else in your life tells you so, you should definitely listen, but if you aren't on board, you're not going to get very far.

What are you breaking? Over and out...

Anna