I never kept a diary. Well, not one outside of my head. I did make little notations in my calendars; marks or letters or one or two words that only I could decipher, should I need to reference that date or the occurrence on that date.
I have always been rather private, actually.
And then one day back in January of 2010 I had an idea to author a blog…because I thought I could make money.
I was wrong.
I wrote only vaguely about me and my family back then; offering little stories or anecdotes. Most of what I wrote was based on legal issues and principles that pertained to families. I thought this would be enough for me and my readers.
I was wrong.
Eventually, I opened up more. I shared more. I wrote more about me.
We live in a society where anyone can be an author, editor and publisher. Anyone can share anything and everything. And often do.
And to what avail?
The question is always why. Why do I keep writing and putting it out there for anyone to see? Why do I share my opinions and thoughts and ideas and feelings and perspectives? Why should I keep this up? Why would anyone care to read these words?
Sometimes I feel exposed and unprotected like a raw and painful crack at the end of a finger. Sometimes I wish I could write and publish these words anonymously. For it's not the strangers reading it that leaves me vulnerable, it's those who know me or are acquainted with me that give me pause.
It's as if I have tacked my diary to my back for all to read only no one else around me has done this. So, many of the people I see on a regular basis know how I feel and think and what goes on inside my head, but I don't know these things about them.
It's an odd feeling.
I am continually asking myself these whys. I rarely find any answers. But I do keep finding words to string together; thoughts to share.
I recently came across an article on blogging; an article written several years back. It was on a newspaper site and the writer clearly has a disdain for bloggers. Almost every sentence was dripping with thinly veiled contempt and irritation. This writer certainly found bloggers to be a distraction for readers; viewing bloggers as faux writers wasting space and time while adding nothing.
I think he was wrong. I think that this form of written expression is important and meaningful. I think that there are a number of really wonderful writers out there pounding out content for a simple blog that perhaps doesn't make a dime and won't ever be syndicated or maybe will never have thousands of pageviews a day. I think these writers offer much to their readers, asking nothing in return.
Whether my content is included in this number I know not. All I know is that what I strive to do here is to speak from my heart. My heart changes in shades from black to red to green to blue, depending on the topic and my mood, but whatever it is, I do my best to be true to it.
I do hope you will continue to gather 'round the fire with me and hear my stories. Year 5 starts March 1st. Over and out…