I’ll Never.... {Eating Our Words}

I reasoned and justified and talked myself in and out of it and finally succumbed. The simple truth was that he wanted this one thing for his birthday from us and my parents, and we actually thought it wasn't a bad idea. And yet, I had always said, I'll NEVER buy that!

But we did. We bought our 7 year old a Nintendo 3DS for his birthday....and you know, we haven't regretted it yet.

The world of parenting is full of "I'll Never....." moments that must be choked down, sometimes with bitterness and other times with laughter.

You want to know a few of our "I'll Never" statements from the past?

I'll Never let my kids sleep in our bed.....

I'll Never feed my kids fast food....

I'll Never let my kids watch TV for hours....

I'll Never buy any Gaming system for my kids...

I'll Never dress my kids in clothes with characters on them....

I'll Never yell at my kids...

Famous last words!

The truth is that before we have kids we have no idea what it's like to negotiate the parental minefields day in and day out. We certainly think we do, but we don't.

A couple that we are quite fond of once said pre-kids, "We'll NEVER let our kids scream." Seriously. We still laugh (good naturedly) about that one.

They now have kids. I have heard their kids scream. They weren't able to stop it from happening.

So, were we right to give in to our "I'll Nevers?" Does this make us poor parents? Does this make us weak?

No, it means we are mere mortals who negotiate our way to more sleep or through a busy day or with a happy kid wearing a Lighting McQueen t-shirt and Batman shorts with Transformer sandals or kids who sometimes get yelled for good or for bad and who sometimes have lazy TV days while eating McDonald's Happy Meals on occasion.

And we are all OK.

Never is a strong word. Never lasts a long time.

Before we have kids we are pretty much in control of our days and nights. We make adult decisions with the reasoning of an adult. We don't have much cause to yell on a daily basis. We go to sleep and stay asleep until it's time to get up. We don't repeat ourselves 600 times a day or wipe someone else's bottom or remind someone to pee into the toilet instead of all around the toilet or in the backyard. We don't say things like, "Please don't lick the window" or "Where did you get that French fry?" or "Stop hitting your brother with the sword!"

Before we have kids we are pretty reasonable, decent, clean and well-kept individuals with broad minds and deeply social calendars. And then, we bring tiny little bundles into our homes.

They don't look very dangerous. They can't even walk or talk. But they pretty much destroy just about everything you thought your life was.

They make you eat your pre-baby words and change your heart and soul and living space and schedule and calendar entries.

Now, if you have kids you know what I'm talking about, and if you don't then you are one rigid, structured parent with very pliable offspring. If you don't have kids....well, watch your words. Some of those "I'll Nevers" are hard to swallow.

Of course, having to swallow ill chosen words can come from judging other's parenting style or lack thereof too. Another point we must all remember and keep in mind before spitting out those words that follow, "I'll Never" is that unless we have walked a mile in another's shoes, we don't know all the circumstances and we aren't permitted to weigh in on the character or fitness of another parent (unless under severe circumstances, as outlined below).

And yet, there are a few "I'll Nevers" that MUST be followed...

I'll Never shake my baby...

I'll Never leave my child unrestrained in a vehicle....

I'll Never text and drive, especially while my kids are in the car...

I'll Never leave my young child in a vehicle alone...

I'll Never leave out chemical cleansers or other poisonous hazards...

So you have to choke down a few "I'll Nevers." We all do. It simply means we're parents. So, have a cup of joy and side of silliness with your bitter sweet "I'll Never" because laughter is always better than resentment. And remember to be gentle with yourself and others and reserve judgment. Over and out...

Anna

Comments

[The Momarchy Ladies]

This is great! I feel like that applies to a lot of areas in life. But the parenting.. it makes the most sense!

[Anna]

Thanks! Yes, it certainly does apply to other areas of life too!