You know when you're going along and BAM something happens and all the sudden you look like the bad guy and you had done nothing and had no sinister intentions?
How about this one? You're going along minding your own beeswax and then KABLOOEY something pops up and you know you're going to have to stand up against the machine to be true to yourself even though it may look like you're just trying to make waves?
Ever take up the cause for an unpopular opinion, side or person? Ever feel that the world is against you no matter which direction you turn?
Yeah? Me too.
And this is what I think it means.
When you repeatedly stand up for, against, with or without, you know yourself to the core. And that core is rock solid. There are no loopholes. There are no sink holes. There is just a smooth, sometimes cool and sometimes hot, backbone.
A rock solid core doesn't allow you to leave well enough alone. A rock solid center doesn't let you settle for being herded along with the rest of the crowd.
An interior like this is sometimes a burden to bear. It isn't easy having to stand up tall and take the heat and formulate the arguments when you were planning to just sit back and coast for a while. And yet, when you get that feeling you know. It starts in your heart and makes its way up to your head.
Sometimes there's a moment of shrugging it off and battling between the left and right brain; a debate between the head and the heart; sometimes you hesitate for a fraction; is this worth the fight? But then there is always the taking up the staff and the heading headfirst into battle.
Though your core is rock solid you can get flesh wounds from the darts being thrown. And those wounds can hurt. Sometimes you wish you could just leave it to someone else to take up the fight; you could just let it pass; say it doesn't concern you.
It's exhausting; it's tough; it's exhilarating; it's rewarding; it's stressful; it can keep you up at night; it can occupy your days; it takes up space in your brain.
It's the right thing to do. Not everyone can wage these arguments or make these points or lead these fights. You must be true to your heart and uphold your convictions and help those who can't or don't stand up for themselves.
In the end, you go to bed, having done the best you can. And you know, the next time it happens, you'll be ready to defend, support, explain, argue, plan, talk through, stand up, beside, behind or down because that's who you are. Over and out...
Anna
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