Straight Shooting: Boys & Guns

It's Inevitable

When I gather with other mothers the topic is bound to come up. It started when my sons were just little tikes, probably around the two year mark. And just as the discussion among moms is inevitable so is a boy's desire to know more...no matter how you, as a parent, feel about it.

I'm talking about guns; space blasters, water squirters, Nerf guns, laser guns, pop guns, rifles, pistols and any other kind of toy firearm. There comes a time for just about every boy when guns are of the utmost interest. It seems to be innate. It isn't something that can be contained or dismissed by a parent who wishes to suppress the issue of firearms, whether toy or real. It just happens.

This is not to say that a boy who puts a toy gun on his Christmas wish list will grow up to be a gun slingin', always packin', proud card carryin' NRA member. No, for most it's just a fad as are so many types of toys.

Not to be Ignored

My theory is this, the more you try to ignore the subject of guns, the more your son will want to know about what he's missing out on, which will only perpetuate the gun phase. Boys who are not allowed to play with actual toy guns will build them with Legos or other connecting blocks, turn sticks into guns or simply use their hands. We have allowed the toys guns, but the boys have only a few guns, mostly of the space alien laser type.

We are not gun toting kind of people, as I mentioned in yesterday's post, but I do talk openly about guns. I have explained about the dangers of guns, what to do if they ever encounter a gun in a field, at a person's home, at school, at the park, etc. I have said if they do happen upon a gun that they should never pick it up; even if it looks like a toy because many times real guns might look like a toy gun. Instead, I have instructed them to immediately report to a trusted adult. And I have made it a practice to inquire whether there are guns in the home where my child is invited to play.

The Presence of Firearms

Many people do own guns; some for protection, some for hunting and some for work {as in the case of law enforcement, not bounty hunters and assassins}. And to each his own; as long as the gun is not used or kept in a reckless manner and is obtained and registered legally.

Recently, while at a park with my Darling Boys and one of Darling 1's new friends from Kindergarten, the friend's mom and I had a conversation. Eventually, it turned to boys and guns. I mentioned that we don't have any guns in the home and she told me that they don't have guns either. Then, she said that she had been wondering how she would bring this issue up with parents of new friends from school who might invite her son over, and she was relieved that we had gotten that out of the way.

It's an awkward conversation to have, especially with fellow parents you may have just met, but I made a decision a while ago that I would ask. It's far less awkward to have this conversation than the conversation where you have to tell the parents that their child was accidentally shot and killed by a gun in your home. Sounds harsh, but it's true.

Just think of the number of times you have seen a headline telling of tragedy involving young kids and guns found in the home. Often, the child who lives in the home isn't even aware that a gun is in the home until he or she accidentally finds the gun. These accounts usually have the same storyline; a child finds the loaded gun in a closet, in a table next to the bed, between the mattress, etc. and by accident pulls the trigger shooting either him/herself, an unsuspecting sibling or friend.

You Should....

So, my opinion is that if you do indeed have guns for any purpose in your home, you should tell your children and anyone else in the home that there are firearms present. You should talk to the inhabitants of your home about the dangers of firearms. You should keep the firearms unloaded and locked. You should make sure that the inhabitants of the home know where the firearms are kept, and that location should not be accessible to children. This means it should be locked; kids can climb and reach anything.

The Scoop

And that's my two cents worth.* How do you feel about guns; toys or the real deal? Over and out...

Anna

*I write this from the perspective of a boy mom. Girls may have an interest in guns too. Of course, all the safety information pertains to both boys and girls.

Comments

[Rick]

Great topic and one all parents have (or should) consider!!

[Heidi David]

Timely topic. My MIL just bought and sent (without my permission) two toy guns to our boys. I was livid (we haven't let them play with guns yet, even water guns). I wanted some time to sink in that playing with toys guns was a reality for us. Your post has helped me ease into it. The reason I'm so leary of the gun subject is that my husband is a hunter and we do have guns in our house. DH and I came up with a way to make it bearable for me to live in a house with guns: they are in a locked, steal-sided gun case with keys only the CIA would ever find and the ammo is in a separate locked case in a different room.
Thanks for this post.