Open Hearts and Minds: Embracing Diversity

Our Neighborhood

We live in a culturally rich neighborhood; there are Latino, Caucasian, African, Hispanic, Asian, and African American families living in our neighborhood. The school Darling 1 will go to starting in September is equally culturally rich. Some might see this as a negative point, but I see it as a positive.

Toleration

So often our society uses the word "toleration" when discussing diverse cultures and practices. Tolerate is defined as, enduring without repugnance; putting up with something; or allowing the existence, presence, practice or act of without prohibition or hindrance; permitting; from the Latin tolerates, meaning "to bear."

Toleration really isn't much. It shouldn't be viewed as much of an achievement on one's part. It's just a tad past putting up a fight against something or hating something or disallowing something. Tolerating is what someone does when trying to enjoy a lovely summer night while swatting at swarms of annoying mosquitoes.

I would make the argument that tolerating differences is not enough. Teaching toleration will not change our reactions and perceptions to those who are different in skin color, religion, education, backgrounds, languages, beliefs and family dynamics. Teaching our children (& ourselves) to see differences as an opportunity to learn from someone and embrace the unique and diverse experiences each of us bring to our society should be our goal.

Everyone is Different

To accomplish this, we must accept that each of us is different from other human beings in some way. A conservative relative from Texas is fond of saying, "Well, that's different!" about the more liberal and unfamiliar practices he has encountered on various trips to visit us in Minnesota. It's true; things are done differently in different neighborhoods, in different states, in different regions, across our great country and certainly beyond our borders. And this is good news.

If we were all the same in looks, in beliefs, in tastes, in ideas and in thoughts there would be no passion in life; there would be no reason for changing how we do things or when we do things or why we do things; there would be little to explore and learn; and there would be no debates or discussions. In short, we would be an awfully dull society.

Embracing Differences

How can we, as parents, be sure to teach our children to embrace diversity in every way? Here are a few ideas:

1. Keep lines of communications open with your kids; talk frequently and openly about a variety of subjects, including news stories, political issues, religions, ideas in general and history;
2. Expose your family to as many cultures as possible through neighborhood events, museums, festivals, books, music, etc.;
3. NEVER EVER tell jokes that put down or poke fun at any ethnicity, gender, socio-economic group, disability or any group of people;
4. If someone is making racial remarks in front of you and/or your child take a stand against such remarks and tell the person why you object to such statements;
5. Treat all persons with respect and honor;
6. Do not fear people who are dressed differently than you or look different than you or speak another language than you;
7. Celebrate differences;
8. Be open-minded, but don't compromise your own beliefs; and
9. Of course, meet and get to know as many people from different backgrounds as possible.

The Scoop

These are but a few suggestions about teaching your kids to embrace differences among our fellow citizens. How do you ensure your kids will grow up with open minds and open hearts and yet still be secure about their own belief systems? Over and out...

Anna

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Comments

[Chris]

When my husband and I were buying our first (and only) family home, diversity of the neighborhood and the school was a primary factor. Our elementary school alone has children from 14 countries, at last count. We had the opportunity to send our children to a private parochial school a few years later, and declined, because I knew the population would not be as diverse. Even my daughter's Barbie collection was a rainbow of ethnicities! We are a global society, now more than ever. I just wish more people realized that.

[selin]

It is so sad that you have to write an article like this. I am still amazed how ignorant most people are in US against non-caucasion people living in US. I had the worse experience about this when I lived in Texas but Minnesota is not so much better. Here is more diverse than Texas but unless you live in certain neighborhoods that are ethnically mixed, people still live in their own segragated communities. I am not very optimistic that taking your kids to the festivals will help fix this issue. The major suggestion I would give to have as many friends as possible from different backgrounds and keep a close relationship to them. I am pretty close to my non american friends or american friends of non caucation backgrounds..because the boundaries we set with each other are not as strict as american friends. I cannot imagine going to an American family's house without a phone call or an appointment from weeks ago (preferably) but with more ethnic people like latinos, turks, russians..etc invitation is not needed nor preferred. I am yet to understand this need for privacy, or hesitancy to interact with each other, excuses people give to each other..oh i dont have time for this for that...! Time is what you make of it! There is a reason why there are soooooooo many nursing homes in this country. People die lonely here sooo sad! Our neighbors have grankids and 4 years we lived nextdoor I saw them here very few times or a few holidays...VERY SAD! Another sad thing you have to constantly try to stimulate your kids..Have to take them to play dates, here or there..they cannot just step outside and play in the street with other neighborhood kids. Yes there are some neighborhoods that are exception. But generally people are just inside doing whatever, kids playing on the computer. Again no interaction with outside world! Ohh i can just keep on going :) Now I will stop before I completely make no sense LOL

[TLM]

I really value this blog and thank you for writing it. It should make us all look inward and do some critcal thinking. Selin's comments are powerful and wonderful!! I love the suggestion "to have as many friends as possible from different backgrounds and keep a close relationship with them". What better way to teach your kids is there than living it! She is so right about our culture's tendency to privacy and closing ourselves off. I know I am one of them. But my youth was one as she describes, stepping out in the streets and neighborhood and playing all day with kids who were there. Of course, they were all "white" kids like me. Too bad!

[Heidi]

I think about this more now than I ever did before since having kids. I hope that they continue to be oblivious to a person's skin color or religion but I know this world will change them, regardless of what I do to influence them. Thankfully, we now live in a more diverse community than we did a year ago but I still ponder how I can best keep their hearts and minds open. Good post.

[Carina - Kitchen Groovy]

Great post, Anna. Unfortunately, I think we will have to continue to address this issue for a long time to come. I have one set of grandparents that came from the Phillippines (during the 1940's) and one set of great-grandparents that came from Sweden (early 1900's). While it may seem obvious that my Filipino grandparents dealt with direct discrimination, but my Swedish great-grandparents, AND their children suffered from discrimination. Even at the turn of the century, and through the rest of the century, there has been discrimination against a certain race(s) - although, I have to think that the focus of our discrimination shifts from one group to another. A very sad truth, and I say we must never give up on ourselves, our neighbors and our kids to embrace our differences. Thank you for your thoughtful post!