If you were diagnosed with a terminal illness or mental illness or autoimmune disease while going through a divorce or just prior to filing for divorce would you tell your soon to be ex-spouse or your attorney or your kids or your mother or your best friend? Or would you quietly deal with the treatments, therapy or medications and/or side-effects for fear of having this information used against you.
If you aren't going through a separation or divorce, you probably haven't thought about this scenario. Did you realize that your physical and mental health issues could be used as evidence against your parenting capabilities? Did yesterday's post on the Giordano case worry you {even a little}?
I have to admit that I was surprised that yesterday's post on the mom who is losing primary custody of her kids in part due to her stage 4 cancer diagnosis did not stir any emotions or upset any readers. In fact, the article got almost no reaction from the readers.
In general, this has been an inflammatory issue in the mainstream media. Can a parent lose custody of his or her child simply because the parent has been diagnosed with an illness or disease that might at some point in the future render the parent in need of assistance and leave the parent without the capability to care for his or her children?
This idea is scary to me. Not that I am considering divorce or have any type of illness, but the point is that in custody matters it sometimes comes down to the gritty details of people's lives. Nothing seems to be off-limits.
The Giordano & Snyder story of separation is a sad story, but all divorce, separation and child custody matters are sad stories by the very nature of their marrow. Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with divorce or whether the circumstances give the parties no alternatives or whether both parties are in agreement with the property divisions and the custody agreement, the dismantling of families and memories is no easy task for anyone involved.
So, tell me, what do you think about this Giordano case? Is the judge right? Is the father right? Or maybe Giordano is correct? Should she move to Chicago in order to keep primary custody of her kids? What would you do in this situation?
What if it wasn't her illness that was one of the determining factors? What if it was her sexual orientation or her profession or her financial status or her parenting style or her life choices? More on this tomorrow. Over and out...
Anna
You might also like:
A Happy Home: Tips for Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce
A Change in Circumstance: Modification of a Child Support Order
Keep the Home Fire Burning: Tips for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage
Life's Little Moments: The Beginning of the End of a Marriage
It's sad, but in the adoption world, parents are punished for these types of issues all the time. I know people who have been rejected from even being considered at an agency because they have been to a counselor ONCE, or they have a child in their home with ADD, or they have high blood pressure. I know everyone wants what's best for the kids, but sometimes it's hard to figure out what that "best" really is.
Posted by: Kelly | Tuesday, June 14, 2011 at 01:40 PM