As a mom, part of my brain is dedicated to coming up with worse-case scenarios of what might happen to my Darling Boys if.... and then devising plans and solutions to avoid and/or survive such imagined occurrences.
Much has been written, spoken and tweeted about the death of Osama bin Laden this week. I'm thrilled he is out of the picture and that the U.S. has been able to thwart so many terrorist plots over the last 10 years, but interestingly enough, as much as I'm horrified of being caught in a terroristic attack, that's not the kind of scenario that usually pops into my head.
It's the everyday, freakish, what-are-the-odds-of-that-happening kind of catastrophic event that really concerns me.
Here's What Really Scares Me:
I'm scared to death of the day they are old enough to take off on their bikes {wearing well fitting, undamaged bike helmets} on adventures up and down and across streets; streets with no sidewalks or shoulders where drivers recklessly careen about in their vehicles without concern for the well-being of my children.
I'm petrified my Boys will choke on popcorn, marshmallows, tomatoes, small Lego pieces, Star Wars figurine heads {why, oh why do they detach from the body} or a million other items. Darling 2 did choke on a tomato just a few weeks ago. I did not freeze up and was able to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him and get the tomato unstuck. Thank God! I have played this scene over and over and prayed I would be able to do what I needed to do out of instinct; and I did.
I worry that my children won't get the proper servings of veggies per day or enough of the right kind of veggies or that the veggies they do eat will be contaminated with pesticides which will lead to cancer in the prime of their lives.
I contemplate what I will say when they come to me with broken hearts because their true loves don't love them back or kids they thought were their friends did something or said something that was not at all friendly. I fret about whether they will be well liked, well mannered, well accepted, well adjusted and happy as they grow and mature and become young men who never think this world is too much and contemplate their own demise.
I pray that a driver distracted by sending a text, reaching for coffee, putting on makeup, looking for a CD or having an in depth discussion over the phone does not cross into the lane I'm driving in and smash us to smithereens, but should this happen I pray that I will not die or be critically injured and leave my babies; and that the hand of God would protect my precious boys securely and lovingly strapped into their seats behind me.
I hope they never ride their bikes or run while listening to music through earphones that could muffle the sound of a trash truck, train or rabid dog fast approaching.
I take measures to ensure they don't accidentally ingest a poisonous plant or mistake a bleach bottle for a milk bottle or have access to brightly colored pills of medicine that look eerily like candies.
Crazy Lady?
Whew! I said it. Sometimes I even worry that by actually voicing these fears, they could come true. This list is not exhaustive and it changes as they grow, but this is how my heart and brain work; this is how I get through the horrible things that happen all in our world. And then I can focus on the beautiful, wonderful, magical things that also happen every day.
I think through these things; I take precautions; I implement plans; I teach my boys safety; and I pray a lot! Now don't mistake me for saying that I dwell on these things constantly and am all-consumed by tragedy and disaster. I'm not. Intense; paranoid; empathetic; analytical; planner; pray-er: yes.
The Scoop
I cannot always be there. I cannot stop everything from happening to them; and nor would I want to. In the words of a spunky, blue fish named Dory, "Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo. {Nemo}" From Finding Nemo.
I want them to take risks; the kind of risks that lead to innovation, creativity, discovery, love, laughter, success and sometimes failure. After all, it's from good, bad, happy, sad, interesting, boring, small and big happenings that a person learns and grows and experiences. These are good things, but, Please Lord, no shattering events that would break my heart in two forever!
You can tell by the links in this post that I've written posts about many of my motherly fears. What do you worry about? Or maybe you don't! Here's to a safe Thursday! Over and out...
Anna
You might also like:
The Right to Bear Arms in Your Home: McDonald v. City of Chicago
Celebrating the Red, White and Blue: Be Prepared to Follow the Law
So gr8 not to be the Only mom who worries about their Only child!
Thank goodness for Prayer!
Posted by: Jennifer | Thursday, May 05, 2011 at 08:01 AM
I'm a pediatric intensive care nurse and I see the worst case scenerios ALL THE TIME! I'm a FREAK when it comes to worrying about my girls! My husband thinks I'm nuts! I've seen children born with weird defects and die from freakish things. I NEVER stop worrying!
Posted by: Jamie H | Thursday, May 05, 2011 at 06:53 PM
I hear you! I worry about everyday things (choking, falling) and huge catastrophic things (cancer, kidnapping and car accidents tops the list). And, the worry will never stop. That's the blessing of motherhood!
Posted by: Heidi | Friday, May 06, 2011 at 05:23 PM